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Goats comic strip from June / 15 / 2007: gamer2 goes to washington (5) [[megaGAMERZ 3l33t (Map of Spain)]] / Elephant: / Baby(ies): / Drink: / Toy: / Food: / Text: EVERYONE LOVES SPANIARDS / megaGAMER I: I HAVE GROWN WEARY OF THE ANTISPANIARDISM THAT IS SO PREVALENT IN TODAY'S POPULAR CULTURE / megaGAMER II: THE IBERIAN PENINSULA WOULD BE DELIGHTFUL IF NOT FOR ALL THE SPANIARDS / / [[megaGAMERZ 3l33t (Map of Spain)]] / Elephant: / megaGAMER I: SEE THAT IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING I AM TALKING ABOUT / megaGAMER II: IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT ALL THE SPANIARDS SHOULD DIE IN A FIRE / / [[megaGAMERZ 3l33t (Zombie Lincoln)]] / Elephant: / Baby(ies): / Terrorist(s): / megaGAMER I: IT WAS THE SPANIARDS THAT SAVED THE WORLD FROM ZOMBIE LINCOLN IN 1872 / megaGAMER II: ZOMBIE LINCOLN WAS A HUGE PUSSY / / [[megaGAMERZ 3l33t (Map of Spain)]] / Elephant: / Baby(ies): / Toy: / Ingot(s): / megaGAMER I: ZOMBIE LINCOLN WAS CHAIRMAN OF THE BUREAU OF KICKING ASS / megaGAMER II: HE WAS A ONE-TERM CHAIRMAN AND SPENT MOST OF IT TRYING TO GET INTO MARIE CURIE'S SKIRT / / [[megaGAMERZ 3l33t (Map of Spain)]] / Elephant: / Baby(ies): / Ingot(s): / Dish Detergent: / Ferret: / Terrorist(s): / megaGAMER I: THAT IS WHERE SHE HID HER SECRET ZOMBIE GOLD / megaGAMER II: ZOMBIE GOLD IS TWICE AS GOOD AS REGULAR GOLD / / [[megaGAMERZ 3l33t (Map of Spain)]] / Elephant: / Emperor Blar-K'tath: / Squirrel: / Spear: / Lawn Gnome: / Terrorist(s): / megaGAMER I: MARIE CURIE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD IN 1872 / megaGAMER II: BACK THEN FIVE YEAR OLD SCIENTISTS WERE TOTALLY LEGAL
Goats comic strip from June / 18 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (1) [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Farmhand Bean: He's Hypnomesmerated Farmella. You keep yer hooves off mah daughter, evil beastie! / Phillip: Seriously, Toothgnip, leave her be. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Toothgnip: Don't worry, fellas, this won't take long. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Door: / Bed: / Disco Ball: / Necktie: / Toothgnip: / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Door: / Necktie: / <> / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Door: / Necktie: / Toothgnip: Actually, this will take a very long time. There are delivery menus on the coffee table. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Menu: / Phillip: These are all for vegan restaurants. / Farmhand Bean: I told you he was evil.
Goats comic strip from June / 19 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (2) [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Bag: / Lamp: / Bed: / Picture: / Disco Ball: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I can't wait to have sex! Also, I love your lava lamp! / Toothgnip: It was a gift from Parker Posey. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Bed: / Toothgnip: So you can travel between worlds, right? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I've got the knack. You get me to an axis pub and I can take you anywhere you like. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Toothgnip: Anywhere? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Anywhere but the blackout zones of Delta Five. You have to make reservations at least a month in advance.
Goats comic strip from June / 20 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (3) [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Candle: / Picture: / Bed: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: So are we gonna churn some butter? or are we gonna travel to distant and exotic levels of existence to crush your enemies? / Toothgnip: Today is turning out much better than I had anticipated. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Toothgnip: I don't see any reason we can't do both. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Bed: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Then we'd best do the enemy-crushing first. If I lose my virginity I love the knack too. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Picture: / Bed: / Disco Ball: / Toothgnip: You could have mentioned this earlier. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: We can still cuddle! / Toothgnip: I don't do cuddling.
Goats comic strip from June / 21 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (4) [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Toothgnip: Neil! / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Farmhand Bean: / Neil: Yessir! / Toothgnip: Spin up the sublight drive, we're getting off this snowball. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Farmhand Brock: / Phillip: / Neil: But... we're down to auxiliary power. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Toothgnip: You're still here. / Neil: No, Sir, I most certainly am not. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Neil: / <> / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Neil: Ah crap. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Spacecraft Engine: Sub lite x-press / Neil: / Bob: Is it lunchtime already?
 
Goats comic strip from June / 25 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (5) [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Spacecraft Engine: / Bob: Neil, you gotta get me down from here. / Neil: I can't do that. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Spacecraft Engine: / Bob: I miss my legs, Neil. And my genitals! I was very fond of them. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Neil: The boss wants sublight engines. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Bob: I can barely handle the power demand from the coffee maker. / Neil: I know. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Spacecraft Engine: / Bob: The strain will probably kill me. / Neil: I know. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Spacecraft Engine: / Bob: Fine. But if I die I'm going to be very angry.
Goats comic strip from June / 26 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (6) [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Control panel: / Farmhand Brock: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Phillip: / Farmhand Bean: / Toothgnip: Buckle up, kids. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Neil, take us up. / Neil: Full power from the engines please. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Spacecraft Engine: / Bob: Ngh. Full power. / / [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / Spacecraft: / Sound Effect: / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Control panel: / Neil: / Toothgnip: Now let's find ourselves a pub. / Phillip: Looks like our luck may be changing, Brock! / Farmhand Brock: I found a penny!
Goats comic strip from June / 27 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (7) [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Control panel: / Chair: / Neil: I'm scanning for pub-like structures but all this snow and ice is blocking potential heat signatures. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Try looking for a high emission spike of Spears-Hilton particles in the three gigahertz band. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Chair: / Neil: There it is! Setting course now. / / [[Ice Nine]] / Spacecraft: / Toothgnip: Farmella, could you knack this whole spaceship to another level? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Theoretically, sure! But you'd have to find a way to get the whole ship inside the pub. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Control panel: / Chair: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Toothgnip: Neil, smash this ship into the axis pub. / Neil: Yes sir! I look forward to the sweet release of death, sir. / Farmhand Brock: It's times like these I wish I had a digestive system so I could crap my pants in terror. / Phillip: You're not missing much.
Goats comic strip from June / 28 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (8) [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Neil: Sixty seconds to impact. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: What are you doing?! / Toothgnip: I'm getting the spaceship inside the pub. That's what you said we should do, right? / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: If I don't time the knack exactly right we'll be exploded to death! / Toothgnip: You'd better get started then. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Toothgnip: Women. Sheesh. / Neil: That's why I won't date anything sentient anymore. It's too much trouble. Twenty seconds to impact. / / [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / Spacecraft: / Neil: No, sorry, ten. Ten seconds. I read the thingie wrong. Sorry!
Goats comic strip from July / 02 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (9) [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / SFX: / Neil: YEEEEEEEHAAAA / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / SFX: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Ommmmmmmmmmmm / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Bob: AUUUGHHHH / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / SFX: / Toothgnip: Heh Heh Heh / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / SFX: / Phillip: Shit Shit / Farmhand Bean: Shit Shit / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / SFX: / Farmhand Brock: Great. Certain death. That's just what I needed today. / / [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / SFX: / <>
 
Goats comic strip from July / 04 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (11) [[Nerdworld]] / Oliver: This is Nerdworld, right? / Carl: Right. / Oliver: So why is this nerd talking to me? / / [[Nerdworld]] / Nerd(s): / Nerd King: I'm the Nerd King. I'm the king of all these nerds. / Nerd: Nice / Nerd King: We all took a vote and we want you to leave. / Nerd: KTHXBYE / / [[Nerdworld]] / Oliver: Wait, you're a king who took a vote? Are you a monarchy or a democracy? That makes no sense. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Axis Pub: / Nerd: / Oliver: All of you get back to building me a dethbot army or I'll blow up your precious nerd bar. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Axis Pub: / Oliver: / Nerd: / <> / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Oliver: / Nerd: / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Nerd: / Oliver: Just like that!
Goats comic strip from July / 05 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (12) [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Neil: / Phillip: Did we really need to blow up two pubs? / Toothgnip: Yes. / Phillip: All that innocent beer. / / [[Nerdworld (looking into spaceship)]] / Window: / Farmhand Bean: / Farmhand Brock: / Phillip: Do we even know where we are? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: There wasn't enough time to lock in a destination. We could be anywhere. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Toothgnip: Oliver is here. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Intercom: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Phillip: Didn't you hear her, Jeffrey McDeafington? She said we could be anywhere. / Toothgnip: Don't care. Oliver is here. Neil, get the engines back online. / / [[Spaceship (Sublight Engine Room)]] / Bob: / Neil: Sure thing. Give me ten minutes. / Text: Yes, he's dead.
Goats comic strip from July / 09 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (13) [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Oliver: Roger! Carl! There are some things that require punching over here! / Nerd: Out bar got blown up via spaceship! / Nerd: By the hammer of Thor! / Nerd King: Nerds, no one's more upset by this than I am. That was the only bar with WiFi in walking distance from my apartment. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Oliver: / Roger: / Carl: / Nerd: / Nerd King: But if we're patient, out two problems might take care of each other. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Grenade(s): / Nerd: You're like the bastard child of King Solomon and Mahatma Gandhi. / Nerd King: Failing that I made some fusion grenades.
Goats comic strip from July / 10 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (14) [[Nerdworld (looking into spaceship)]] / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Window: / Phillip: You don't look like you're still enhypnorated. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: The knackening must have knocked Toothgnip out of my noggin! / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Watch: / Toothgnip: You can get your sloppy seconds later, Phillip. Time is the fire in which we burn. Until we get those matches, anyhow. Then height, width and depth are joining time on the pyre. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Toothgnip: Oliver is already moving against us. Where are my engines? / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Bob: / Neil: The engine is dead. / / [[Spaceship (Bridge)]] / Bob: / Toothgnip: He can be dead on his own time. Go fetch me some Murphy's Oil Soap and some Cornflakes.
Goats comic strip from July / 11 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (15) [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Stick: / Box: / Bottle: / Vat: / Bob: / Phillip: Toothgnip, I think we need to chat. / Toothgnip: This isn't an intervention, is it? Can we reschedule for next week? Next week is better for me. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Stick: / Phillip: This is more than just some poor fashion choices for you. You've changed. / Toothgnip: I'm just finishing what Oliver started. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Phillip: He did this to you? And now you want revenge. How trite. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Stick: / Toothgnip: I'm way past revenge. Revenge is the mohair jacket of my emotional wardrobe. I'm not even upset that Oliver and Fish burned the Panties of Potency. / / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Stick: / Vat: / Phillip: Burned? Then what are you wearing? / Toothgnip: These? I picked these up at Target. Only $6.99! They're super-comfy.
 
Goats comic strip from July / 16 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (17) [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Spacecraft: / Nerd(s): / Carl: You come out of there right now and let us beat you up or you'll be very sorry! / Roger: Tt's not working. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Spacecraft: / Nerd(s): / Carl: Well maybe it would if you came over here and helped instead of sulking. / Roger: I'm uncomfortable having all these needs strapped to me. Do we have to wear them? / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Spacecraft: / Nerd(s): / Carl: Yes, we have to wear them. These guys have all sorts of lasers and last time I checked neither of us was laserproof. Oliver says nerds are very effective at absorbing lasers. Now stop pouting and pound on this hatch here. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Spacecraft: / Nerd(s): / Roger: It's not my fault I don't do my best work encrusted with nerds. / Carl: Whose fault is it? / Roger: The government.
Goats comic strip from July / 17 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (18) [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / [[Nerdworld]] / Button: / Toothgnip: Are you sure you're ready? You were dead ten minutes ago. / Bob: Oh yeah. Let me at 'em. / <> / / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / [[Nerdworld]] / Toothgnip: I will, but first I want you to remember who made this possible. / Bob: You did, lord. You gave me life anew. And a mouthful of sweet retractable fangs. And an unquenchable bloodlust. And supple skin. And a love of Jazz. / / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / [[Nerdworld]] / Bob: My life belongs to you, lord. / Toothgnip: Good. Now go out there and make daddy proud. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Carl: / Toothgnip: / Roger: Oh sweet winnebago of San Diego. / Bob: Hello, food! / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Blood: / <> / <> / Nerd: Augh! / <> / Nerd: Guh / Toothgnip: Let's keep the arterial sprays to a minimu, thanks.
Goats comic strip from July / 19 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (20) [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Spacecraft: / Blood: / Roger: Carl, what the hell happened to you? / Carl: I ran the fuck away from that things, that's what happened. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Oliver: I thought I told you two to aggrieve my enemies! / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Oliver: / Roger: They've got a thing. / Carl: It eats nerds. And presumably real people too. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Oliver: I guess me and my ambulatory corpse and my robot arm are going to have to take care of this mess ourselves. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Spacecraft: / Drink: / Straw: / Nerd(s): / Oliver: Bob? / Bob: Oliver! Funny running into you here. Care for a drink?
Goats comic strip from July / 23 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (21) [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Oliver: This is my Nerdworld, Bob. Mine. You guys go find your own nerds to boss around. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Drink: / Spacecraft: / Straw: / Nerd(s): / Bob: Why you gotta be like that, Oliver? Now I have to eat your face. / Toothgnip: There will be no eating of faces. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Bob: / Oliver: Toothgnip! I thought I detected that fammiliar tang of Chlamydia and Oxycontin. / Toothgnip: On second thought, go ahead and eat his face. / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Bob: Nom Nom Nom Nom / / [[Nerdworld (outside Spaceship)]] / Tooth: / Blood: / Oliver: / Bob: / <>
Goats comic strip from August / 02 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (28) [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Panties: / Blood: / Toothgnip: And we're moving, people. Listen up! Neil, start the engines. / Neil: But there's no way to leave! The axis pub was decimated when we arrived. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Panties: / Toothgnip: We're not leaving the way we came. Bob, you head down into the nerd village and get Oliver's transdimensional teleport robot. He's got it stashed away somewhere. Use your diplomatic skills to persuade the locals to help you find it. / Bob: Eating someone's face counts as diplomacy, right? / / [[Nerdworld]] / Toothgnip: Phillip, go with Bob and help translate. You speak nerd, right? / Phillip: Twelve dialects, including LOLCats and MMORPG. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Toothgnip: Farmella, you stand there and look sexy. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I'm going to hang you by your own intestines. / Toothgnip: Kinky! I love it. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spoon: / Farmhand Brock: / Toothgnip: Broccoli man, go fight those two biker guys to the death. You know, for my amusement. Using this spoon.
 
Goats comic strip from August / 06 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (29) [[Nerdworld]] / Spoon: / Bag: / Farmhand Brock: That Toothgnip guy is a level ten crotch-puncher. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Spoon: / Bag: / Farmhand Brock: I have to admit, I was naive to think that Michael Hutchence dying from autoerotic asphyxiation was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But now I am wise the in way that only a vegetable whose life truly sucks can be! / / [[Nerdworld]] / Grenade(s): / Bag: / Nerd King: / Farmhand Brock: If I make it out of here I will create one final latte-art masterpiece that perfectly captures the true essence of just how much of a diseased armpit life really is. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Grenade(s): / Farmhand Brock: And then I will destroy myself in a attention-grabbing spectacle of violence that will assure me gobs of mainstream interblog coverage. But how? / / [[Nerdworld]] / Grenade(s): / Farmhand Brock: Oh! A fusion grenade! / / [[Nerdworld]] / Grenade(s): / Bag: / Farmhand Brock: I'll add it to my collection
Goats comic strip from August / 07 / 2007: burn this, part 2 (30) [[Nerdworld]] / Spacecraft: / Tarfon: / Panties: / Phillip: We found the robot! / Bob: It was hiding in plain sight in a display at the Nerdsonian Museum of Awesome SciFi Robots. / Neil: The engines are up and running. / Toothgnip: Nice. Just one more thing to be done, then. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Tarfon: / Matches: / Toothgnip: Only two. / / [[Nerdworld]] / Tarfon: / Matches: / Toothgnip: Well, it's a start. / <> / / [[Nerdworld]] / Matches: / Toothgnip: / / [[Nerdworld]] / Matches: / / [[Nerdworld (on fire)]] / Matches: / Fire: / <> / / [[Nerdworld (on fire)]] / Fire: / Toothgnip: Let's get the hell out of here. / Toothgnip: Robot, open a door to the monkey dimension at the center of the multiverse. / / [[Nerdworld (on fire)]] / Toothgnip: We'll see you there, Jon. / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (Convention levels)]] / Book: / Table: / Fineas: / Diablo: / Jon: Holy crap.
/ He can see us. / Fish: Hello, mister Toothgnip!
Goats comic strip from August / 13 / 2007: showcase showdown (2) [[Yiffulon Gamma (Convention levels, surface)]] / Computer: / Book: / Trash Can: / Cigarette: / Diablo: / Fish: / Jon: We can't just do nothing. Toothgnip wants to burn down the multiverse. / Fineas: Let me simplify things for the neuronally impaired amongst us. / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (Convention levels, surface)]] / Trash Can: / Cigarette: / Cigarette: / Alien(s): / Fineas: Toothgnip needs the matchbook. He thinks Oliver dropped it on the monkey planet, but he doesn't know Diablo picked it up. / Diablo: I still have it! It's uncomfortable but I hardly notice it anymore. Like the steady erosion of our civil liberties. / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (Convention levels, surface)]] / Computer: / Book: / Jon: / Fineas: So as long as we don't go to the monkey dimension, Toothgnip doesn't get the matches. Capice? / Fish: But Phillip is with Toothgnip. I thought we need him to fix the bug in the universe? / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (Convention levels, surface)]] / Computer: / Trash Can: / Cigarette: / Jon: Maybe we don't need Phillip. Maybe all we need is this turtle. / Diablo: The turtle is a better conversationalist. / Fish: The turtle smells like old ladies.
Goats comic strip from August / 14 / 2007: showcase showdown (3) [[Yiffulon Gamma (surface)]] / Computer: / Trash Can: / Diablo: / Fineas: So what do you have in mind? / Jon: Toothgnip was able to see us. / Jon: Turtle, is there any way to hide our location from remote viewers? / Voice Synthesizer: Personal ports now cloaked. / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (surface)]] / Computer: / Voice Synthesizer: All outbound traffic now encrypted and routed through remote and arcane levels of existence, Scooby Dude. / Fineas: Good thinking. / Jon: You ain't seen nothing yet. / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (surface)]] / Crater(s): / Computer: / Jon: Turtle, create a pocket universe and initiate the visual interface. / Voice Synthesizer: Created, Dudeonymus Bosch. Press any key to continue. / / [[Yiffulon Gamma (surface)]] / Computer: / Key: / Key: / Key: / Key: / Jon: / <> / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / SFX: / Diablo: / Fineas: / Fish: / Jon: / Semigod: Hello, registered user! / Semigod: I am the semigod for this artificial pocket universe. Please select an option. / Text:
  • Create
  • /
  • Destroy
  • /
  • Themes
  • /
  • Instant Salami
Goats comic strip from August / 20 / 2007: showcase showdown (6) [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Blood: / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Farmhand Bean: Ah crap. 'Tis the end times all over again. / Carl: What are you babbling about, old man? / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Blood: / Carl: / Infinite Monkey(s): / Farmhand Bean: The ends of the multiverse, friend. As described in the secret missing penultimate chapter of the Great Farmer's Almanac. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Don't listen to him. He's got a head full of Oreillian lobeworms. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Farmhand Bean: It is said that the last days would be preceeded by the arrival of the Demon Lord Toothgnip, the Capricorn Casanova, Destroyer of Minds, cast down from Valhalla by Thor himself, who would bring fire and mild bowel irritation to all the levels of existence, scouring them clean in preparation for the final Fatal Crash Error that means goodnight Gracie for all of us. Amen. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Blood: / Farmhand Brock: / Carl: Fabulous. I'll never get my Master's degree now. / Phillip: We need to leave. I'm allergic to monkey blood and Brock's sweater is getting ruined.
 
Goats comic strip from August / 21 / 2007: showcase showdown (7) [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Diablo: / Fineas: If we can't see what Toothgnip is up to, who can? / Jon: Semi, import those two blue monkeys from the comics convention. / Semigod: Yessir! Monkey translocation routines are go! / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Chair: / pen: / Newspaper: / SFX: / Steve: And who am I making this cleavage out t- / Hey! / Gus: What the? / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Steve: Oh, very mature, fellas, importing us into a pocket universe. I was just about to sign something's breast! / Gus: That wasn't a breast. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Fineas: Shut it, both of you! Shut your yogurt holes! / Fish: Shut your yogurt holes, please. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Jon: Now this is interesting. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Jon: / Text: Dimension
Shift
Published By
Xibalba House
New York * London * Xibalba
Goats comic strip from August / 22 / 2007: showcase showdown (8) [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Infinite Monkey: / Blood: / Infinite Monkey(s): / Toothgnip: / Oliver: / Farmhand Brock: / Bob: It's supposed to be a weiner dog. / Neil: Let's get you some balloons to practices with. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Farmhand Bean: / Farmhand Brock: I need to go home now. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: We can't knack out of this level. Everyone knows the multiverse hub doesn't have an axis pub. / Phillip: Oh yeah. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Farmhand Bean: The hub once had a pub, but it was removed 'cause the monkeys were takin' four-hour liquid lunches. / Phillip: Remembering things is hard. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Carl: The only way out of here is to steal the ship. / Farmhand Bean: Aye, yer right. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: If we're going to pull this off we need to leave now, while the goat is distracted. / Phillip: No! We can't leave! / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship]] / Farmhand Brock: Actually we just established that we can. / Phillip: I meant to say that we shouldn't leave. / Farmhand Brock: Then you should have said that.
Goats comic strip from August / 23 / 2007: showcase showdown (9) [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Diablo: / Jon: What happens in volume two? How much of it have you written already? / Steve: Sorry, no spoilers! / Gus: We're under contract not to reveal anything from upcoming releases. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Fish: / Jon: Yes, I see you're publishing through Xibalba House. / Diablo: An outside publisher! How odd. Does Woody know you're making scratch on the side republishing the stuff you wrote for him without his permission? / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Steve: Uh. No. Not exactly. / Gus: I told you this was a bad idea. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Jon: Who owns Xibalba House Publishing, gentlemen? / Steve: One Death. / Gus: Oy. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Jon: So you're under contract to my employer! What an amazing coincidence. Then I guess we could consider this a friendly visit by your new boss to check up on your progress.
Goats comic strip from August / 27 / 2007: showcase showdown (10) [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: / Farmhand Brock: / Carl: So why can't we leave? / Phillip: Back before you guys kidnapped me, I was working with the Topekan programmers, remember? / Farmhand Bean: Aye, they be Yakmeat the Brooklynite and Cornhusk the corn lesbian, if'n I 'twere recallin' correctly. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Farmhand Brock: Cornhusk only says she's a lesbian so she can avoid dealing with her intense erotic heterosexual/vegetable jungle-fever feelings for me. / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Phillip: ...Aaaanyway, they said that the buggy laptop that's running the multiverse is here, in the multiverse core. / Farmhand Brock: Grumble Grumble / / [[Infinite Monkey Dimension]] / [[Spaceship (Hatch)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: That's right! The Almanac's prophecy is fulfilled! / Phillip: That's just how good I am. / Farmhand Bean: The programmer breached the skin between worlds without even realizing it!
Goats comic strip from August / 28 / 2007: showcase showdown (11) [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Book: / Jon: Give me whatever pages of volume two you have ready. / Steve: I haven't written anything yet. There's nothing to see. / Gus: You don't have to show him anything. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Semi, import a copy of the scripts for volume two. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Script(s): / SFX: / Post-It Note: Scripts / Jon: / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Script(s): / Steve: Hey! No fair! That's a rough draft! / Jon: Agreed. You've got an entire chapter here on cheese? / Gus: Cheese that fights communism! / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Script(s): / Jon: There's 40 pages of Pecorino and Gouda discussing proletarian internationalism and then three panels of punching. How does this advance your main plot? / Steve: It adds flavor. / Gus: If you don't get it then maybe you're not a part of the target demographic. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Script(s): / Post-It Note: / Gus: / Jon: You guys are stoned when you write this stuff. / Steve: Not always. / Diablo: And look who dies in chapter twelve! Your fans are going to be furious.
 

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