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| Goats comic strip from October / 29 / 1998: lori's final fling (4) | Hey, Jon... guess what I saw at the bar today. / I don't have time for games, Diablo. / / C'mon, Jon. Don't be such a weenie. Guess what I saw. / Your own imminent death. / / Nope. You're not very good at this game, are you? Guess again. / Visions of impending pain and torture. http://www.goats.com/archive/981029.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 01 / 1998: lori's final fling (5) | Lori and Jay were kissing. With their mouths. / Oh. Well, good for them. / / Doesn't it bother you that Jay's tongue was swishing around inside her mouth? / No... why should it? / / To paraphrase George Michael, "He wants her sex... he wants her love..." / Where do we keep the shake 'n' bake? http://www.goats.com/archive/981101.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 02 / 1998: lori's final fling (6) | And you're okay with this? / What, that Jay and Lori were kissing? Why wouldn't I be okay? / / Because you have an unnatural obsession with her. You're borderline psychotic. / Oh. That. / / Beer? / Sure... that would be an appropriately passive-agressive course of action. http://www.goats.com/archive/981102.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 03 / 1998: lori's final fling (7) | You do realize that your little fling with Jay is killing Jon... he's in severe denial. / That's half the fun. / / But why Jay? He's an oversexed neanderthal. / Not necessarily. There's more to him than people give him credit for. / / ...and if you move your fingers in a clockwise direction, she'll bark like a dog. / Hold on. http://www.goats.com/archive/981103.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 04 / 1998: lori's final fling (8) | ...so, you'll pick me up at 7:30 sharp. Bring flowers. Dinner should be $70 per person. / Uh-huh. / / / Eyes up. / Just a sec. http://www.goats.com/archive/981104.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 05 / 1998: lori's final fling (9) | You're two hours late for dinner, Jay. / It's okay. I already ate. / / Well, it's too late to do anything now. 'Felicity' is on in fifteen minutes. / Ooh! Sex! What about sex? / / Oh, I suppose that would be okay. Can you make it quick? / There's no right answer to that, is there? http://www.goats.com/archive/981105.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 08 / 1998: lori's final fling (10) | Jon, we need to talk. / Gah. / / You're my friend, Jon, and I'm not blind to the pain my relationship with Lori has been causing you. / Gah? / / That's why it's so difficult for me to tell you how absolutely, stunningly incredible she is in bed. I'm sorry. Really. / Gah. http://www.goats.com/archive/981108.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 09 / 1998: lori's final fling (11) | Ever since Lori started dating Jay, Jon's been a depressive mess. / Yeah. Isn't it great? / / He's stopped bringing home those little marshmallow treats. / The ones with the nougat center? / / Mmph. / She must be stopped. http://www.goats.com/archive/981109.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 10 / 1998: lori's final fling (12) | Pardon me, Lori, but I seem to have spilled my beer on the floor over there. Can you clean it up? / / By that "x" painted on the floor? / Yes. / / And under that cow? / Yes. http://www.goats.com/archive/981110.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 11 / 1998: lori's final fling (13) | Guys... I need your help. / What can we do for you, Diablo? / / The bartender... the one they call Lori. She must be eliminated. / Have you tried dropping a cow on her? / / Of course. But she saw right through my nefarious plot. / She's a cunning one. / I'll get more cows. http://www.goats.com/archive/981111.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 12 / 1998: lori's final fling (14) | So, how are we going to get rid of Lori? / Here's the plan... first, we dress Bob up like a pirate. / / Then, I will read her the lusty sonnets of Sylvia Plath until she swoons and yields to my every whim. / / And how is this going to help our cause? / It won't. But I get to make hot monkey love to Lori. / And I get to be a pirate! Arrr!! http://www.goats.com/archive/981112.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 15 / 1998: lori's final fling (15) | How goes it? / We'd have a finished plan if he didn't keep making changes. / He's just scared of innovation. / / I wouldn't call replacing the phase inducer with an electric eel innovative. / An adult electric eel can stun an entire Ed Begley, Jr. / / I'll be on the couch. / Let's keep our little infatuations to ourselves, shall we? / I don't like your tone, mister. http://www.goats.com/archive/981115.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 16 / 1998: lori's final fling (16) | ...so on three, we rush the bar. / Do we have a battlecry? / I think I see something. / / We don't need a battlecry. Just grab the woman. / How about "Au bon PAIN!!" / Looks like a potato. / / We're abducting a bartender, not beating mimes with baguettes. / We could do that afterwards. / Nope. It's not a potato. False alarm. http://www.goats.com/archive/981116.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 17 / 1998: lori's final fling (17) | Jeez, Bob, I think it's time you laid off the Snickers. Ngh. / Damn mimes. / I am NOT a mime. / That's exactly the sort of thing a mime would say. / What the hell is going on over there? / I don't see a thing. http://www.goats.com/archive/981117.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 18 / 1998: lori's final fling (18) | Something... something doesn't feel quite right. / A disturbance in the Force? / / It's as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders... as if a pain that's haunted me for years is suddenly gone. / Oh. Um... I'm sure it's nothing. / / Do not open ever / Lori in a box / Sign here. http://www.goats.com/archive/981118.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 19 / 1998: episode I: the trailer | This week, the trailer for "Star Wars: Episode I" was released. Millions of geeks around the world locked themselves in dark bedrooms, watching bootleg copies on the internet, over and over, box of tissues close at hand. / / / Please excuse the lack of a script in today's episode. http://www.goats.com/archive/981119.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 22 / 1998: cheese of evil (1) | Deep within the bowels of a castle in darkest Czechoslovakia... / / One man's ambition has led him to undertake an experiment with unforseen consequences... / / / An experiment that has gone horribly awry. http://www.goats.com/archive/981122.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 23 / 1998: cheese of evil (2) | Biff! Come to the lab, immediately!
/ / Just a second, doc. Tekken isn't gonna play itself. / / Biff, the cheese is gone.
/ / Munchies, huh? The 7-11 down the block is still open. / / No, Biff. The SENTIENT cheese is gone. It's escaped.
/ / I'm pretty sure that 7-11 doesn't carry that sort of thing. http://www.goats.com/archive/981123.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 24 / 1998: cheese of evil (3) | Oh. Oh my. The cheese escaped. / Sorry, doc... I was eating ice cream and watching Teletubbies when it asked me for $50. / / You didn't actually give the cheese fifty dollars. / Thirty-five. And my credit cards. I figured it was just a weird flashback. / / First class or coach? / First class, please. http://www.goats.com/archive/981124.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 25 / 1998: cheese of evil (4) | There's no cheese residue in the pipes... hopefully it hasn't left the premises. This is no ordinary cheese. / It's not in the Chex Mix. / / But, God help us, if has escaped the confines of the castle... we'll be able to track it by the blood of the innocent victims it leaves in its wake. / / Are you going to eat your peanuts? http://www.goats.com/archive/981125.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 29 / 1998: cheese of evil (5) | Pardon me, Miss Flight Attendant, but my neighbor seems to be having a problem. / What is it? / / It seems that someone's gnawed her head off. Isn't that strange? / Yes. Quite strange. / / This has been very traumatic for me... can I have a hug? / Well... sure. Aren't you just the cutest little thing? http://www.goats.com/archive/981129.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 30 / 1998: cheese of evil (6) | Hello, Captain? We've got a young passenger out here who'd like to come and take a look at the cockpit. / / Sure thing, Kathy. Why don't you bring him by after food service is done? / / He's already eaten, sir. http://www.goats.com/archive/981130.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 01 / 1998: cheese of evil (7) | Hey, Jon... a large fiery object just came crashing out of the sky. / Was it Oprah Winfrey's ego? / / Nope... looks like a commercial airliner. / Look at all that smoke... what part of town is that? / / Hey! I was standing there! http://www.goats.com/archive/981201.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 02 / 1998: cheese of evil (8) | Keith Shellac here for NY1 News, at the scene of the tragic crash of flight 303. / / Sir, you're the sole survivor of this horror. Can you tell us what happened? / Well, I sorta ate the pilots. But it never would have happened if there were properly posted signs saying "Do not eat the flight crew." / / Well, ladies and gentlemen, what we clearly have here is the story of yet another victim of corporate negligence. / I plan to sue for $4 billion. http://www.goats.com/archive/981202.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 03 / 1998: cheese of evil (9) | Suit up. / Why? Since when does the Geek Patrol care if a hunk of cheese kills some people? / / We don't. But when that cheese smashes an airplane into my bar... well, that cheese had better watch out. He killed beer dammit! / And the beer on the plane, too. / / Surveillance indicates most of that beer was domestic. No great loss. / Fine. But I want 2 pints of ice cream this time. http://www.goats.com/archive/981203.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 06 / 1998: cheese of evil (10) | Phasers?
/ Grappling hooks?
/ Attack hamsters? / Fully charged.
/ Check.
/ Very angry. / / Flatulence emitters?
/ Sandwiches?
/ Then we're set. / Slighty stinky.
/ Peanut butter and olive loaf. / / Let's roll. / To the mopeds! http://www.goats.com/archive/981206.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 07 / 1998: cheese of evil (11) | All right, Mr Evil Cheese Person. You've destroyed your last bar. Prepare to face the wrath of GEEK PATROL! / / Not so fast, Patheticus. You'll first have to defeat my army of lawyer clones! / My client is suing for cheese discrimination. / / Does your organization employ any cheese-Americans? I think not. / The guilt... it's unbearable... / Fall back! http://www.goats.com/archive/981207.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 08 / 1998: cheese of evil (12) | Our heroes, overpowered by the evil cheese's army of lawyer clones, find themselves captives. / Fill out these forms in triplicate, please / / Little do the lawyers know that Cap'n Brunch has his psychic potato, with which he can call for help. / / Fornicate? / Not right now... I'm receiving a transmission. http://www.goats.com/archive/981208.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 09 / 1998: cheese of evil (13) | It's good that you came to me first... if we don't rescue Phillip and Jon, they'll... you know. / Die die die die / / So what do we do? / We won't be able to fight an army of lawyer clones by ourselves. We'll need help. / / Killer cheese and lawyer clones. I'm gonna need one hell of a retainer. / If a retainer is something squishy in my pants, I've got one. http://www.goats.com/archive/981209.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 10 / 1998: cheese of evil (14) | Hello, gentlemen. I'm Frank Coffee, lawyer for the Geek Patrol. Can we talk? / His hair... it's far too powerful. Any jury would swoon. Our only chance is to settle out of court. / / What's it going to take to free my clients? / Our client, the evil cheese guy, will only release them after proper digestion. / He gets to eat them first. / / All right... but only the limbs. And I want additional compensation. / The limbs, three internal organs of our client's choice, and we'll throw in tickets to a "Springer" taping. http://www.goats.com/archive/981210.html |
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