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| GPF Archive: Tuesday, July 19, 2005 | Mercedes: Is that where you found he defendant's supposed libelous remarks?
/ Trent: Y-yes. I knew it was angry, but I had no idea it was so... venomous. / Trent: It started out using a pseudonym for me. But it was obvious who it was talking about. So I got on its forums and attempted to defend myself.... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050719.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 | Mercedes: The counsel for the plaintiff readily admits the vast majority of the defendant's remarks in the blog are opinion or hyperbole and therefore cannot be considered defamatory. / Mercedes: However, there are several remarks highlighted for the court that call into question the plaintiff's competence... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050720.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, July 21, 2005 | Mercedes: By converse, has the defendant ever attempted to cause bodily harm to YOU?
/ Trent: I'm... loathe to mention it. But yes, it ASSAULTED me a few months ago. / Mercedes: If you can bear to do so, please explain.
/ Trent: I was minding my own business in my office when it violated a restraining... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050721.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, July 22, 2005 | Mercedes: Have these incidents affected your ability to perform your job?
/ Trent: Sadly, yes. I am a salesman. A marketing guru. So reputation and appearance are everything. / Trent: I communicate extensively online, but I've found this undue stigma precedes me. I cannot represent our company effectively... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050722.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, July 23, 2005 | Fred whispers: So, um... Are we doing as bad as I THINK we're doing?
/ Nicole whispers: Not necessarily. So far Mercedes hasn't pulled anything I didn't expect. / Nicole whispers: She's going out of her way to discredit the "murder" claim but I'm ready for that. Of course, we could have done without... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050723.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, July 24, 2005 | Fred: Thanks for the lift. It would have taken me forever to ooze over there...
/ Bailiff: ew...
/ Fred: Don't worry. It won't stain. / Bailiff: Raise your right... um...
/ [[Fred oozes out a right open palm, face out]]
/ Fred: Does this help?
/ Bailiff: Do you swear or affirm you will tell the truth,... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050724.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, July 25, 2005 | Mercedes: Obtaining employment using falsified records is hardly reputable, Mr. Physarum...
/ Fred: I agree, but given my unique situation I didn't see much of an alternative. / Mercedes: So I take it you have no qualms with breaking the law when it no longer suits your needs?
/ Nicole: OBJECTION!
/ Judge:... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050725.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 | Mercedes: Then is it true you banned the plaintiff from your forums to prevent him from defending himself?
/ Fred: I banned him because he was being abusive and disruptive to the other posters. / Mercedes: Are you CERTAIN your argument with the plaintiff had no bearing on this ban? It's timing hardly... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050726.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 27, 2005 | Fred: Are you insinuating I have an anger management problem?
/ Mercedes: Insinuating? No. But I would like to enter exhibit C for consideration. / Mercedes: These are selected past entries from the defendant's archive, displaying numerous "rants" about students and faculty at his college, literary... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050727.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, July 28, 2005 | So anger was a non-dismissable factor in your banning of the plaintiff from your forumas, and you have a history of anger issues.
/ So I have a short fuse. So what? / Tell me, Mr. Physarum. Were you angry at the plaintiff when you posted the blog entry in question?
/ Of course!
/ And you would have done... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050728.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, July 29, 2005 | Fooker: Man, that questioning was brutal.
/ Sharon: It's a good thing the judge called a recess. / Ki: How are you holding up, Fred? You seem to be sliming more than usual...
/ Fred: I do that when I'm really nervous. Think of it as my version of a cold sweat. / Nick: Nicole, what do you think are... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050729.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, July 30, 2005 | As the counsel for the plaintiff rests her case, the court adjourns for a brief recess. We, of course, will continue our live coverage of the trial. / Have you heard about the marketing exec suing a slime mold for libel? Next I hear Boston Market is suing botulism and salmonella for defamation of... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050730.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, July 31, 2005 | Judge: Counsel for the defense...?
/ Nicole: I call Dr. Otto Wisebottom to the stand. / Nicole: Dr. Wisebottom, you have examined the defendant. What is your scientific evaluation?
/ Dr. Wisebottom: Well, although we do not currently have a biological classification for him, I would say "slime mold"... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050731.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 1, 2005 | Nicole: How long have you known the defendant, Mr. Barker?
/ Fooker: Almost seven years.
/ Nicole: And what is your association with him?
/ Fooker: We're roommates. / Nicole: Describe your relationship.
/ Fooker: We're bosom buddies. We're like Tom Hanks and that other guy nobody remembers, but without... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050801.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, August 2, 2005 | Dwayne: In business, Fred has been nothing but professional. We had a couple rough anti-social spots at first, but he grew out of them. Although he was partly at fault in his disagreements with Trent, Trent was clearly the aggressor. / Nick: He's always been helpful to those that really know him.... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050802.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 3, 2005 | Nicole: Mr. Physarum, the plaintiff stated that he pulled a few "pranks" on you in October 2003. In your opinion, were these "harmless employee hazings?"
/ Fred: Absolutely not. / Fred: Would you consider it "harmless hazing" to put a bottle of arsenic in someone's lunch? Or a "practical joke" to squirt... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050803.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, August 4, 2005 | Nicole: So you went through proper channels to resolve this situation, even though you felt your life was threatened. Yet the plaintiff attests you resorted to illegal means to resolve a petty argument. / Nicole: Somehow, that doesn't make sense to me. But perhaps the plaintiff himself could explain... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050804.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 5, 2005 | Nicole: Mr. Terrell, what is your opinion of the defendant?
/ Trent: I'm not exactly going to let it rent my Summer condo at the beach, if you must know. / Nicole: Looking at the "pranks" you pulled--Lysol in a lunch bag, bleach in a water gun, a biohazard sign on the defendant's office door--one might... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050805.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, August 6, 2005 | Nicole: Mr. Terrell, do you think the defendant is sentient?
/ Trent: I... really don't know...
/ Nicole: Do you think he is sapient, a thinking, rational being?
/ Trent: Well, er... / Judge: The plaintiff will answer the question.
/ Trent: Okay, look, so it SEEMS to think, at least a little, but it certainly... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050806.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, August 7, 2005 | Nicole: Now, Mr. Terrell, let's look at exhibit A, the supposedly libelous blog entry in question, in more detail, shall we? / Nicole: Your counsel has kindly highlighted a number of passages in this text, identifying them as defamatory. However, I'm hard pressed to agree with her assessment. / Nicole:... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050807.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 8, 2005 | Trent: I- I don't see how that could be relevant--
/ Judge: Mr. Terrell, you will answer the question. / Nicole: What were you doing before you were hired by GPF?
/ Trent: I was... in prison.
/ Nicole: Why? / Trent: I was trying to frame Trudy Trueheart, an old... acquaintance of mine, with attempted... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050808.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, August 9, 2005 | Mercedes: YOU WHAT?
/ Judge: Counsel! You are not presenting arguments or cross-examining! Remain silent! / Mercedes: I OBJECT!
/ Judge: On what grounds?
/ Mercedes: The plaintiff did not share this information with me. / Judge: I'm afraid that isn't acceptable grounds for an objection. Overruled. ... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050809.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 | Nicole: Mr. Terrell, you've already expressed that, unlike seemingly everyone else here today, you consider the defendant as sub-human. Yet your own counsel considers him a person to pursue this trial. / Nicole: Tell me, what did you think the results of your pranks would have been? If you had hit... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050810.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, August 11, 2005 | [[The Oshiros (Ki's parents and brother) are watching the TV]]
/ TV: After a blistering display of legal logic, the defense rests its case, and the jury begins deliberations... / [[The Wellingtons (Nick's mother and the back of the top of Lori's head), watching TV]]
/ TV: A courthouse insider tells us... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050811.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 12, 2005 | Fred: How do you think we'll do, Nicole?
/ Nicole: I don't know. I think we did well, but if the jury doesn't buy your personhood... / Trent: DLC, I just wanna say I--
/ Mercedes: NOT listening to you... / Reporter: The jury has finished deliberating and is returning to the courtroom... / Judge: Jury,... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050812.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, August 13, 2005 | [[Sydney is playing with Ki's cat, Randi]]
/ Sydney: Hello, Wandi! I'm so glad Miss Ki let da babysitter watch me here. 'Cause it's closer ta Mommy's work. Now we can play together!
/ Randi: Mreow? / Sydney: I asked Mommy and Daddy if I can have a Kitty, but Mommy says Daddy's allergic. I think she... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050813.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, August 14, 2005 | Jury foreman: We the Jury decide in favor of the defendant. His remarks were not libelous, as the plaintiff was indeed charged with attempted murder.
/ Judge: ORDER! We're not done yet! / Judge: Mr. Terrell, as the losing party, I am hereby issuing a restraining order forbidding you to have any further... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050814.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 15, 2005 | Trent: W-we lost... to a slime mold... I can't believe it...
/ Mercedes: Believe it. / Trent: Quick, DLC! We have to start planning for the appeal!
/ Mercedes: After that little omission you pulled? I don't think so... / Mercedes: And I don't think any lawyer worth their salt would represent you either.
/ Trent:... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050815.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 | Mercedes: Congratulations, Nicole!
/ Nicole: Um, Thank you, Mercedes. / Trent: Nicole! I need you to represent me when I go back to court!
/ Nicole: Why the heck would I represent YOU? I KNOW you're guilty! / Trent: PLEASE! You thrashed Mercedes! You're an incredible lawyer! I don't wanna go back... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050816.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 17, 2005 | Trent: D-D-D-D-DWAYNE!
/ Dwayne: If you're done accosting my wife, we need to talk. / Trent: S-sure! Is it about the Goodman Rubber account? B-because--
/ Dwayne: Actually, I want you to clean out your desk tomorrow. You're fired. / Trent: FIRED?! On what grounds?
/ Dwayne: Let's see. Harassing a... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20050817.html |
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