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| GPF Archive: Friday, October 15, 2010 | [[Trudy stands just outside Fooker's office door. He is seated at the computer with hands on the keyboard, looking at her.]]
/ Sharon: Fooker, I hate to interrupt, but I need to talk to you for a few minutes. It's important.
/ Fooker: Um, OK. / [[Trudy, head bowed, frowning.]]
/ Trudy: You said it yourself. Nobody knows me better than you, and if anyone can keep a secret, it's you. So if I'm going to tell *anyone*, someone I *know* I can't hurt, you're the perfect choice... / [[We see the office door closed.]] / [[The office door is still closed, but through it we hear]]
/ Fooker: You have *got* to be kidding... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101015.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, October 18, 2010 | [[Nick in tee-shirt looking in bathroom mirror; Ki behind him in dressing gown with toothbrush in mouth]]
/ Nick: I think I might just grow a beard.
/ Ki: Murf mur murl? / [[Ki close beside Nick, facing him, with arms folded; he turns his head to see her]]
/ Ki: I thought I made my opinions of facial hair abundantly clear.
/ Nick: I know. Just as an experiment. / [[Nick looking into mirror again]]
/ Nick: I'm looking for a change. It's very "geek chic" these days. Fooker and Scott have goatees, Tim has his mustache, I had one a while back... Maybe for a while, just to see how it will look. / [[Nick turns from mirror to face Ki directly. Her arms are still folded.]]
/ Ki: Uh huh. And when exactly will this experiment start?
/ Nick: [[Annoyed]] Three weeks ago. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101018.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Nick coming in with folder under right arm. He is wearing a sweater and tie, and has barely visible five o'clock shadow on his face. Ki and Sharon are in the background; Sharon holding papers in her left hand.]]
/ Nick: Hey, sweetie. Morning, Sharon. / [[Nick leaves through another door. The women talk behind his back.]]
/ Sharon: Did ... did he forget to wash...?
/ Ki: He's growing a beard.
/ Sharon: Ah. / [[Ki and Sharon facing the reader, standing side by side]]
/ Sharon: And just how long has this been going on?
/ Ki: The testosterone therapy has been sadly ineffective. / Sharon: Should we warn the rest of the office?
/ Ki: We may already be too late.
/ Nick (offstage): It's a *beard*, Patty. Yes, I *bathed* this morning. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101020.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip 10-22-2010 | Sharon: I'm surprised you're letting Nick get away with this. I thought you didn't like facial hair.
/ Ki: Let's just say I wasn't consulted. / Ki: I've never liked men with beards. They're itchy, scratchy, and unattractive. And don't get me started on hygiene, some of the things I've seen men pull out of there... / Sharon: All valid points. But nothing's more manly than a beard. It's like the ultimate male accessory. It's like a billboard for testosterone-fueled machismo. / Sharon: Besides, a little extra tactile stimulation in just the right places...
/ Ki: I think you've made your point already... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101022.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Fooker seated at the computer in his office, hands on keys; Sharon on his left looking left to the door.]]
/ Sharon: I'm not sure about Nick growing a beard. It doesn't look ... *right* on him.
/ Fooker: It's a geek rite of passage. / [[Sharon and Fooker facing each other; Fooker gesturing as he speaks]]
/ Fooker: One cannot become a true UNIX geek without growing one at least once. Like a monolithic kernel, a UNIX geek's beard is a commanding obelisk of knowledge, wisdom, and hubris. It is a focal point, a symbol of arcane power. / [[Nick passes the office door, holding something in right hand and gesturing with the left. Five o'clock shadow visible but faint. Fooker and Sharon both looking at him.]]
/ Nick: Hey, Fooker. / [[Sharon folds arms, turns and glares at Fooker. Fooker slumps with chin on left hand.]]
/ Sharon: "A symbol of arcane power"?
/ Fooker: Never mind. The analogy breaks down with microkernels. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101025.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Trudy in foreground holding paper in left hand, looking over her right shoulder at Tim and Scott, also carrying paper as they walk.]]
/ Scott: Aye, Sir Nicholas' beard is indeed nascent, but shows potential. In time, a truer Unix geek's mane none may find. / [[Trudy daydreams of Nick with shirt open, hard rippling abdominal muscles, lots and lots of shaggy hair, and a thick beard]]
/ Trudy (thinks): Hmm.. So Nick's growing a beard? How deliciously rugged he'd look, so masculine, so virile... / [[Nick walks past in the corridor, carrying paper in each hand. He still has only faint five o'clock shadow. Trudy sees him]] / [[She looks at him up close, frowning]]
/ Trudy: No. Just... No. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101027.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Nick and Ki at home. Ki sitting on the couch with a book in her left hand. Nick comes up behind the couch; she faces him.]
/ Nick: I've decided to get rid of the beard.
/ Ki: That was fast. May I ask why? / [[Closeup of Nick running his hand over his chin.]]
/ Nick: Well, first and foremost, I know *you* didn't like it, but I know nobody else did either. I know everyone's jokes were well-meant and harmless, but they were underpinned with truth. It just doesn't work for me, period. / Ki: I'm sorry if we embarrassed you. We're all your friends, and we'll always support your decisions. Of course, you *know* I'll love you no matter what, beard or no beard. I promise, you look best without it. / [[Nick now beside couch, close to Ki. Ki puts left forefinger to lips. She looks mildly sheepish.]]
/ Ki: So... when are you going to...?
/ Nick: [[Annoyed]] Three days ago. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101029.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip - 11-1-2010 | [[Fooker and Sharon stand in line outside a movie theater. A poster for "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1" is visible in the background.]]
/ Sharon: Thanks for insisting on getting out to see a movie. That server migration has been maddening.
/ Fooker: You deserve it, babe. / Fooker: You've been working on this project non-stop for months. I know it's a tight schedule, but you need some down time. A little escapism should do the trick.
/ Sharon: Bless you. / [[Fooker turns to pay for the tickets. Sharon becomes irritated while thinking of Scott.]]
/ Sharon: It's not just that, though. I've had to spend more time than I'd like with Scott. Even though Dwayne ordered him to back off, I can still tell he's watching me, waiting for his geek messiah. / [[Sharon appears relieved when Scott suddenly appears behind them.]]
/ Sharon: At least I can escape him on the weekend...
/ Scott: Greetings, muggles! Here to attend the magic lantern show? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101101.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 3, 2010 | [[Fooker, Sharon, and Scott stand in line at the movie theater ticket booth. Fooker is busily buying tickets, while Scott's appearance seems to startle Sharon.]]
/ Sharon: GAH! Scott! You better not be following me again, or else!
/ Scott: [[Backpedaling]] Forsooth, milady! I dare not do such a thing, not after the tongue-lashing Lord Duncan inflicted! / [[Scott seems genuinely concerned at Sharon's accusatory tone.]]
/ Scott: Can it not be mere coincidence that I seek nocturnal entertainment from the same motion picture as thee? I have pursued thee neither overtly nor covertly. I seek only this eve to see Emma Watson's angelic face. / [[Sharon jabs a finger of warning in Scott's face.]]
/ Sharon: Fine. Whatever. Just keep your distance. I'm too tired to argue with you, which means I'm also more likely to cause you bodily harm if you don't heed this warning.
/ Scott: Thy warning has been clearly received. / [[Fooker turns to face the other two.]]
/ Fooker: Hey Scott! Didn't see you there. Wanna sit with us?
/ Sharon: FOOKER!
/ Scott: Indeed, merrily! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101103.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[In the cinema, looking at Scott, Fooker, and Sharon, who are seated in that order. Scott is looking at the screen. He has a drink in his left hand and a large tub of popcorn in his right. Sharon is slumped in her seat with her arms folded, facing the screen. Fooker has tuned to face her.]]
/ Fooker (whispering): Sorry, babe. The guy's all alone and I was just trying to be friendly.
/ Sharon (whispering): Too tired to argue with you. / [[Closeup of Fooker, now facing the screen.]]
/ Fooker (whispering): Look we've given Scott and Tim a pretty hard time, but they're really cool guys. When you get past the whole "The One" deal, they are just geeks like you and me. They've backed off, so I think we should but them a little... / [[He turns back to Sharon, but she has fallen asleep.]]
/ Fooker (whispering): ... slack. / [[Scott turns to face her too.]]
/ Scott (whispering): Poor moppet. Shall we wake her? The movie is starting...
/ Fooker (whispering): Nah. She always comes up with the most bizarre dreams at times like these... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101105.html |
| (to be announced) | [[Title double panel: Harry Barker and the Chatroom of Enigmas. On the left, Sharon is asleep as Fooker leans over her, about to drop a popcorn kernel down into her cleavage. On the right, two two-story houses stand at night with the moon rising behind them. A single window is lit in the top story of one of them.] / [[Harry Barker sits at a desk, pencil between his fingers and his head in his hand, as he stares into nothing. An Anglepoise lamp sits on a Perl book, illuminating his studies.]]
/ Harry (thinks): Summer's almost over, but I haven't received one letter from any of my friends at Hollerith's. Did they forget about me...? / [[His Uncle Trent opens the door scowling.]]
/ Trent: Why is it so quiet in here? Are you *studying*? Shouldn't you be playing video games o something?
/ Harry: You won't let me have a computer... *or* a TV. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101108.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Trent exits, slamming the door behind himself.]]
/ Trent (speaking through door): Well, I'll have none of that learning in this house. Come downstairs and vegetate in front of the TV with your cousin. / [[Harry holds a pencil in his right hand between index and middle fingers, point up. He frowns at the point.]]
/ Harry (thinks): You can't *make* me stop studying, Uncle Trent. I'll study and learn hacking all I want.
/ The lamp: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101110.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[In the diminished light from the broken lamp, Harry Barker begins to remove the bulb from the Anglepoise lamp.]]
/ Harry (thinks): I guess I *have* to go downstairs to get another bulb. Maybe Uncle Trent is craftier than I thought. / [[A lightning bolt bursts from the now empty socket in the lamp. Harry's hair stands on end and he drops the bulb. There is a strange shadow in the lightning.]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101112.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Harry has arms akimbo, frowning at Noddy. Noddy looks defensive.]]
/ Harry: OK, Noddy the sprite, what are you doing in my lamp?
/ Noddy: Noddy thought if Mr Harry Barker could not study, then he could not return to school. / [[Harry bending over Noddy, who has an evil grin during his speech.]]
/ Harry: What? I *have* to return to Hollerith's! I want to see my friends!
/ Noddy: Friends who have not written Harry Barker all summer? / [[Closeup of their faces; Noddy is cringing. Noddy hands him a stack of envelopes bound with a cable having a connector at each end.]]
/ Harry: And just what would *you* know about that
/ Noddy: Noddy thought if Harry Barker did not hear from his friends, he would not be so anxious to return to school. / [[Harry holds the envelopes and studies them. Noddy seems to be grinning again.]]
/ Harry: It's not like these would have gotten delivered anyway. These all look like IP or MAC addresses.
/ Noddy: Mr Harry Barker does not *have* an e-mail address at home. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101115.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Harry Barker leans frowning over Noddy and grips his tattered clothes.]]
/ Harry: *Why* are you trying to keep me from returning to school?
/ Noddy: Terrible things are about to happen at Hollerith's! Noddy must protect Harry Barker! / [[During the next dialogue, Harry raises his head and relaxes his expression. Noddy turns his face to one side, struggling against his conditioning.]]
/ Harry: Protect me? From what?
/ Noddy: Noddy... cannot say! Cannot... betray... his user!
/ Harry: OK, OK! / [[Noddy turns to face Harry again, with a wicked grin.]]
/ Noddy: By Noddy *can* delete Harry Barker's uncle's porn collection from Harry Barker's uncle's secret computer! *That* should keep Harry Barker from returning to Hollerith's! / [[As Harry speaks, Noddy fades out.]]
/ Harry: My uncle's *what*?
/ Noddy: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101117.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip - 11-19-2010 | [[Harry Barker's room now has bars over the window. Uncle Trent is outside it, squinting with rage, and shaking a wrench at Harry. Harry looks depressed.]]
/ Uncle Trent: I don't know how you did it, boy, but you can forget ever seeing your freakish friends again!
/ Harry Barker: But I didn't even know you had a computer! / [[The view switches inside the room. Trent descends the ladder as Harry watches desperately out the window.]
/ Uncle Trent: You're the only one who could have done it! You're never leaving that room again!
/ Harry Barker: But Uncle Trent, I...
/ [[The bulb-less Anglepoise light begins to buzz:]] < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101119.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip - 11-19-2010 | [[Harry Barker's room now has bars over the window. Uncle Trent is outside it, squinting with rage, and shaking a wrench at Harry. Harry looks depressed.]]
/ Uncle Trent: I don't know how you did it, boy, but you can forget ever seeing your freakish friends again!
/ Harry Barker: But I didn't even know you had a computer! / [[The view switches inside the room. Trent descends the ladder as Harry watches desperately out the window.]
/ Uncle Trent: You're the only one who could have done it! You're never leaving that room again!
/ Harry Barker: But Uncle Trent, I...
/ [[The bulb-less Anglepoise light begins to buzz:]] < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101119.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 22, 2010 | Later in Bogon Alley....
/ Harmony Stranger: Harry! Don!
/ Harry & Don: Harmony! / Mr Measley: Ah! This must be the Harmony Stranger we've heard so much about!
/ Harmony: It is an honor to meet you, Mr and Mrs Measley. Who is that behind you? / Mr Measley: Oh, this is Don's little sister, Jenny. This is her first year at Hollerith's.
/ Harry (whispered): And she fancies Harry too. / Harmony: My parents are at Flowcharts & Blogs, picking up my books. They normally don't let Luddies in, but....oh, and you'll never guess who else is there! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101122.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 24, 2010 | [[Crowded bookstore]]
/ Woman: My goodness! What in the web is going on here?
/ Child: It's Gedanken Deadlock, the legendary hacker! His new book just came out. / [[Smiling man stand in front of crowd and photographers.]]
/ Gedanken: Thank you, my beloved fans, for coming today! Without your support, my latest book, "Zero Day, Gone Tomorrow", would not be nearly as popular--or profitable--as it has been. / [[Gedanken looks out at the crowd.]]
/ Gedanken: By the source...and who is this that's come to purchase his copy? Harry Barker! Step up here, lad! Your copy is on the house! / [[Gedanken poses with Harry for a picture.]]
/ Gedanken: Together, you and I rate the front page of Digg! Both our pageranks will shoot up three points with this picture! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101124.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 26, 2010 | [[Note from Jeff: Needs more descriptions of visuals]]
/ Gedanken: Come read the book Harry Barker just heartily endorsed! / Darco: Just can't stay out of the limelight, can you, Barker?
/ Loozair: Now, now, Darco... / Loozair: My son, Mr. Barker, can't help that fame has been thrust upon him. Few who desire fame deserve it... present company included.
/ Measley: Harry? You alright, boy? / Measley: Luser Mouso. I see you've stepped down from your ivory tower.
/ Loozair: Loo-zair. You enjoy mispronouncing it, don't you, Measley? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101126.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101129.html">http://gpf-comics.com/d/20101129.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101201.html">http://gpf-comics.com/d/20101201.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 3, 2010 | [Note from Jeff: Needs description of visuals and who is saying what]
/ I wonder who might want to keep you away from school...
/ I bet I know... What was THAT?! / That's a data ghost. An Avatar left behind by a former student or teacher. The school is full of them. They're projected by virtual reality units all over campus. / Legend has it that a great hacker built the VR system before going mad and murdering someone. It's the most impressive VR ever built. Now he rots away in Angband prison, his genius wasted. / Most of the ghosts are friendly and helpful, though, like Nearly Nadless Norm here.
/ "Nearly Na--"?
/ DON'T ASK! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101203.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101206.html">http://gpf-comics.com/d/20101206.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101208.html">http://gpf-comics.com/d/20101208.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 10, 2010 | [[Later... Harry is walking along a corridor inside Hollerith's.]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101210.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Harry Barker, Don Measley, and Harmony Stranger are staring at a wall. There is writing painted on it: The Chat Room of Enigmas has been rooted. Enemies of the Sysop... beware!]]
/ Don: W-what is that written in? Blood?
/ Harmony: It's laser printer toner... I think. / [[They bend down over Mr. Fisk's cat, who is still frozen, flashing like a neon light. In the background, we see a robed arm approaching.]]
/ Harmony: Is Fisk's cat... dead?
/ Harry: No, I don't think so. It's like she's frozen... locked up. / [Dumpingcore and McDongle arrive with Sysape and Deadlock.]]
/ McDongle: Headmaster, look!
/ Dumpingcore: Children, return to your dormitory at once. This corridor is no longer safe. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101213.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[The first panel is labeled "The next day..."]]
/ [[Surrounded by a large crowd of students, Deadlock and Sysape are standing at desks, each having a chair and a computer. Between them is a "holographic table"; it looks rather like a searchlight pointing at the ceiling. Throughout, Deadlock has his back to Sysape and gestures widely with his arms.]]
/ Deadlock: In the light of the recent "attack", the faculty have agreed to let me resurrect the old Hollerith's Hackers Dueling Club, of which I, naturally, am a former champion. / [[Deadlock is smiling. Behind him, a purple swirl emerges from the holographic table. Sysape looks at Deadlock sardonically.]]
/ Deadlock: The objective is to get past your opponent's defenses and "PWN" their machine. It is a true test of a hacker's skill as it requires both defensive and offensive coding. / [[Close up of Sysape, who is typing something. On the screen of his computer we see two knights fighting, one putting his sword through the other. We see the same in glowing purple figures on the holographic table.]]
/ Deadlock: The holographic table in between provides additional entertainment by visualizing the battle for spectators. And now, I will humbly defeat your favorite scripts master with my-- / [[On the holographic table, a purple glowing knight stands with his foot on the body of his defeated purple glowing foe. Sysape smirks slightly. A boy points to the holographic table and speaks.]]
/ Boy student: Um, Prof. Deadlock? Your terminal just BSOD'ed.
/ Deadlock: Yes, well... It seems Prof. Sysape got lucky this time. Ahem... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101215.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[On the left, Sysape and Mouso are facing us. Sysape has his hand on Mouso's shoulder, who is standing at Sysape's computer. On the right, Harry is at Deadlock's computer, facing them. Deadlock, with a huge smile and wavy hair, is facing us.]]
/ Deadlock: Let's let you boys give it a try. Nothing dirty or underhanded, now. Let the best hacker win! / [[Close up of Mouso, typing away. A glowing "worm" with fangs and thorns twists up on the holographic table. Out of our vision, Deadlock speaks.]]
/ Deadlock: Excellent move, Mouso! He's summoned a worm to infiltrate Barker's machine. Let's see how he defends himself... / [[Frowning at the worm facing him, Harry types.]]
/ Deadlock: Now the traditional defense against a worm is a strong firewall, one that blocks--
/ Harry: [Speaking in a strange language] Daet snir etsam ruoyk catta emk catta ott nawt nodu oy. / [[On the holographic table, the worm leaps into Mouso's computer. The computer immediately blue-screens. Mouso glares. Deadlock looks shocked. Harry smiles grimly.]]
/ Deadlock: Um... Well, I guess turning his own worm against him could possibly work as well. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101217.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 20, 2010 | [[Harry, Don, and Harmony walk down a corridor after class.]]
/ Harry: [With a smug smile] Did you see the look on Darco's face? I really showed him!
/ Don: [Angrily] See him? No, but we all heard you! / [[The view closes in on the trio.]]
/ Done: [Angrily] Your best friends, and you never told us you were a Packetmouth!
/ Harry: [Confused] A who-what-now? / [[The view closes in on Harry and Harmony.]]
/ Harmony: [Concerned] A Packetmouth is someone with the ability to hear, parse, and speak raw 'Net packets. It's a very rare gift. How long have you been able to...?
/ Harry: All my life, I guess. Is that wrong? / [[The kids walk away with their backs to the reader]]
/ Harmony: Wrong, no. But it's a skill most commonly associated with the Black Arts.
/ Done: An' the most famous Black Hat of them all, You-Know-Who. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101220.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20101222.html">http://gpf-comics.com/d/20101222.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
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