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| GPF Archive: Monday, October 18, 1999 | Narrator: For those who came in late: Under the great amusement park Nerdvana, Ki has been discovered...
/ Girl: She's not a supermodl! She's a geek, like him! / Girl2: But look at her! She's gorgeous, like us!
/ Girl3: Like you, maybe... I'm prettier than that...
/ Girl4: Geeks aren't like that! They're all fat, drooling MEN... / Girl5: ... like this one!
/ Fooker: Hey! I'm not fat! Drooling maybe, but not fat!
/ Girl6: Quiet, you! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991018.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, October 19, 1999 | Ki: Listen! No I'm not a supermodel! Yes, I AM a geek! Always have, always will be. And geeks come in all shapes and sizes, not all slobs like Fooker.
/ Fooker: Hey! / Ki: But more importantly, geeks are more important than you realize. In fact, none of you would have this job if it weren't for geeks. / Ki: Who do you think buys all your posters, reads all the articles written about you, and maintains your web sites?
/ Model: I have a web site? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991019.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, October 20, 1999 | Ki: Without geeks, all of you would be nothing! There's not an aspect of your lives that hasn't been improved by a geek! / Ki: Who's the chemist that blends your makeup? A geek! Who's the artist that digitally edits your photos? A geek! Who do you think invented the cameras that take your pictures?
/ Model in crowd: Uh... a geek? / Ki: And guess who did all your plastic surgery...
/ Model 1: [[Covers her nose]] My nose!
/ Model 2: [[Covers her mouth]] My lips!
/ Model 3: [[Points to her chest]] Hey! These girls are all natural! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991020.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, October 21, 1999 | Girl: The she-geek has a point! If we don't have geeks, we'll be out of jobs, and we can't improve ourselves.
/ Leader: But the plan--! / Girl2: The plan won't work! If we got rid of the geeks, then our lives are pointless!
/ Girl3: I guess we had better let them all go... / Girl4: All except this one. Let's skin him alive, just for fun...
/ Fooker: Uh, check please... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991021.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, October 22, 1999 | Ki: Whew! I'm glad this while Nerdvana thing is over...
/ Nick: Supermodels building a theme park to trap geeks... What a tale! / Ki: Still, I can't help wondering who their leader was... We may never know...
/ Dexter: Now that all this is over, can I take you out on a date, Ki? / Ki: Get lost, Dexter.
/ Dexter: shoot.
/ Fooker: I wonder if we can come back again next year... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991022.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, October 23, 1999 | Newsgirl: Authorities are still baffled by reports that supermodels built the geeky amusement park "Nerdvana" as a trap for the world's "geeks." But details may never be known... / Newsgirl: ... as the park closed "indefinitely" this friday. None of the models accused could be reached for comment. And the group's leader has yet to be identified... / Trudy: Oh, well... / Trudy: ... I guess I'll just have to do things the hard way...
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991023.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, October 25, 1999 | [[It's now time for... Trudy's Tips for the Truly Evil]] / Narrator: Tip #1: Emotional scars last longer than physical scars. Launch a psychological attack whenever possible over physical violence.
/ Trudy: You know, this outfit would look SO good on you, Ki... If you were just twenty pounds thinner... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991025.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, October 26, 1999 | [[It's time for another installment of Trudy's Tips for the Truly Evil]] / Narrator: Tip #2: Always kick a man while he's down.
/ [[Fooker got crushed by a safe]]
/ Trudy: By the way, Fooker, Dwayne fired you, so you have no health insurance...
/ Fooker: thanx... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991026.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, October 27, 1999 | [[Yet another edition of... Trudy's Tips for the Truly Evil]] / Narrator: Tip #3: Innocence is always the best facade.
/ Narrator: Quick quiz: Who is the most likely candidate to be evil incarnate?
/ Hitler: Mein kampf.
/ Trudy: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991027.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, October 28, 1999 | [[Yes, it's time once again for... Trudy's Tips for the Truly Evil]] / Narrator: Tip #4: Never sign a pact with the Devil... Unless you're sure you can beat him at his own game.
/ Trudy: And, by article 43, section 12, paragraph 8, not only do I retain possession of my soul, but I become supreme empress of outer Mongolia. Pay up, horn head!
/ Devil: D'OH! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991028.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, October 29, 1999 | [[You guessed it! It's time for... Trudy's Tips for the Truly Evil]] / Narrator: Tip #5: Always exploit a person's ignorance.
/ [[In front of a file server]]
/ Dumb: Are you sure using a big magnet is the best way to delete a single file?
/ Trudy: Trust me! No other method works better! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991029.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, October 30, 1999 | Trudy: [[musical tone]] Oh Foooo-ker...
/ Fooker: Uh, oh... / Trudy: When I called the towing company to come move that abandoned car in out lot, I accidently gave them the wrong description... of YOUR car... oopsy! / Fooker: Okay, okay! I'll fix your computer, already!
/ Trudy: [[musical tone]] Thank you! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991030.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 1, 1999 | Check this out, Fred. Someone left a mysterious package at our doorstep.
/ If it's ticking, I'm outta here. / Hmmm... These appear to be parts to a disassembled hard drive. And there's a note inside. / "The test has begun. You have twelve hours. Failure is not an option."
/ Hey! We can play Frisbee with these! Go long! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991101.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 2, 1999 | Fooker: I've assembled the hard drive from the mysterious package and plugged it into my computer. It seems to be formatted in an obscure Linux filesystem, but I can still read it. / Fooker: Hmm... The files seem to be encrypted using a complex new algorithm. Fortunately, I've read up on it on the internet and I think I can crack it.
/ Fred: Fooker... / Fred: I don't suppose any of this strikes you as odd, does it?
/ Fooker: Odd? Why do you say that? Now hand me my "Code Cracking for Dummies" book. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991102.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 3, 1999 | [[Fooker is furiously typing away, illuminated only by the glow of his monitor. Fred is perched on his shoulder.]]
/ Fred: Let me get this straight. Someone leaves you a mysterious package with a disassembled hard drive and a note about some test in it, without any clue of its origin. / Fred: You proceed to assemble the drive, plug it into your computer, and crack its contents, without regard to viruses or other potential hazards. Just why are you doing this? / [[Fooker shows he is miffed by angling his eyebrows inwards and raising his right index finger.]]
/ Fooker: It's the principle of the thing! "Because it is there."
/ Fred: Oh, I see. This is a testosterone thing.
/ {{Happy Birthday, GPF!!}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991103.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, November 4, 1999 | Fooker: I've cracked the encrypted file on the hard drive from the package. Say, these look like map coordinates... longitude and latitude... / Fooker: This little java applet I wrote can translate them to a real street address... Hmm, an old abandoned IBM warehouse on the other side of town... Interesting... / Fred: I suppose I should fetch your jacket, Sherlock?
/ Fooker: Hurry, Watson. The game is afoot! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991104.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 5, 1999 | Fooker: This is the place! Just like the file said.
/ Fred: Doesn't it look homey... / Fred: This is where I exit...
/ Fooker: No can do, little buddy. I'm not going in there without my trusty ally at my side, or at least in my pocket. / Fred: I take it you don't mean that round little nerdy guy you call Nick...
/ Fooker: If there's trouble, you cover me. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991105.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, November 6, 1999 | [[In a dark room]]
/ Fooker: Well, this is it. Awfully dark in here...
/ Fred: Guess they haven't paid their electric bill... / Fred: So... now what?
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991106.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 8, 1999 | Fooker: Okay, I'm in an abandoned IBM warehouse surrounded by strange hooded figures... C'mon, think Jason! Think! / Fooker: Eh... What's up doc? / HoodedZero: Jason Barker... your time has come...
/ Fooker: Darn! Too much Cartoon Network! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991108.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 9, 1999 | HoodedZero: We are the Brothers of the sacred twisted pair, keepers of the holy OS and holders of the private RSA keys to all things geeky. / HoodedZero: The infidel has defiled our sacred temple with his presence. It is fitting that we commit the forbidden rite and do to him as he justly deserves:...
/ Fooker: Gulp! / HoodedZero: Begin the initiation!
/ Fooker: Whew! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991109.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 10, 1999 | Hooded: As you are initiated into the Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair, you must take the sacred oath... / Hooded: Do you swear to slander, debase, and otherwise put down all things Microsoft at every possible opportunity?
/ Fooker: Sure, why not? / Hooded: Do you swear to read "User Friendly" the comic strip religiously every day and worship Illiad, its creator?
/ Fooker: Just call me "UFie". / Hooded: Do you swear to uphold the ideals of open source, GNU, and Linux superiority?
/ Fooker: No GNUs is bad GNUs, I always say... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991110.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, November 11, 1999 | HoodedZero: Welcome, Brother Jason, to the Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair! You have passed our tests in record time, and have proven yourself worthy of membership. / HoodedZero: We hold the answer to all things geeky. We hold the reins of open source. We know the dark secrets of Windows 2000, and we log over a million Quake frags every hour.
/ Fooker: Kewl! / Fred: Man, these losers need to get a life.
/ HoodedZero: ?! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991111.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 12, 1999 | BrotherTwo: W-what was that you said?
/ Fooker: I didn't say anything...
/ Fred: I mean, look at this bunch of nerds... / BrotherTwo: We are not nerds! We are geeks!
/ BrotherZero: You test our patience, brother...
/ Fooker: But, I--
/ Fred: Hey! Where's Bill Gates? / BrotherTwo: He has spoken the vile name of the great evil!
/ BrotherZero: He must be punished! Seize him!
/ Fooker: B-But, it was the slime mold!
/ Fred: Yeah, right. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991112.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, November 13, 1999 | Fooker: Thanks a lot, Fred. The ultimate secret society of geeks taps me as a member, and you ruin it for me.
/ Fred: Sor-ry! / Fred: How was I to know Bill Gates was their antichrist?
/ Fooker: Duh! I thought you were the big online professor.... / < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991113.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 15, 1999 | Ki: Nick, phone.
/ Nick: Thanks, Ki. / Nick: Nick.
/ Dr. Wisebottom: Nicholas? It's Dr. Wisebottom.
/ Nick: Uncle Wise?
/ Dr. Wisebottom: I need you to bring your friends to my lab tonight. Be there by seven.
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991115.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 16, 1999 | Fooker: So I finally get to meet your elusive uncle, Dr. Wisebottom, huh?
/ Nick: Yes, but I'll warn you, he's quite eccentric. Actually, I'm worried. / Nick: Whenever he does this, he wants to show off a new invention, which usually goes haywire and we end up running for our lives. Be prepared for the unexpected. / Fooker: AHHHHHH! It's a wrinkly old guy!
/ Dr. Wisebottom: Ah, you must be Fooker... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991116.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 17, 1999 | Dr. Wisebottom: You should feel quite honored, young ones. It is quite rare for others to see my work here in the lab.
/ Nick: Most people are too afraid to enter. / Dr. Wisebottom: Within these walls have been conceived some of the greatest inventions of all time.
/ Nick: Yep. He's a real legend in his own mind. / Dr. Wisebottom: Do I do note a hint of sarcasm present to the room?
/ Fooker: I believe I would call it youthful disrespect, sir.
/ Nick: Et tu, Brute? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991117.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, November 18, 1999 | Be as skeptical as you want, my nephew, but my newest invention will certainly revolutionize all our lives.
/ Voila! / What...is it?
/ It's a time machine. Can't you tell? / Well, it does kinda have that George Pal look, but only a total geek would know--
/ I knew it was a time machine... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991118.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 19, 1999 | Nick: Uncle Wise, you can't be serious! A time machine? Have you considered the consequences of this? / Nick: What about a paradox? What if you go back and kill your own grandfather? Man was not meant to toy with such things. My word, man! Your "gift to mankind" may be its undoing! / Wisebottom: Yes... but wouldn't it be fun?
/ Fooker: I'm really starting to like this guy... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991119.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, November 20, 1999 | Nick: Come on, Ki. You have to back me up on this. This time machine is nothing but trouble.
/ Ki: Convincing ME isn't the problem, Nick. / Ki: There's just so much we don't know about time travel. It's too risky. It's Fooker we need to worry about... / Wisebottom: Wanna take her for a spin?
/ Fooker: AND HOW! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19991120.html |
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