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GPF Archive: Monday, January 31, 2000 [[Fooker and Nick at a mall foodcourt, in front of Wacky Burger. They are eating.]] / Fooker thinks: So here I am, about to try and tap into Nick's feelings about Ki... / Fooker thinks: But how do I proceed? As a human male, I cannot express MY feelings to another male: I must obscure them through "guy talk." Which means, to change the topic to Ki... / Fooker: So... Ki was lookin' pretty HOT yesterday, huh? / Nick: ?
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 1, 2000 Nick: Let me get this straight: YOU thought KI looked hot yesterday? / Fooker: Did you see how well that tight sweater fit her? Wink, wink... / Nick: If I didn't know any better, I'd say that sounded like YOU have the hots for her... / Fooker: Who, ME? Me and KI?! Heck, no! I mean... That's not what... / Fooker: Hold it, that didn't just make you JEALOUS, did it...? / Nick: Okay, now I'm REALLY confused...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 2, 2000 Nick: So... You DON'T have an interest in Ki? / Fooker: That... um... DEPENDS... / Nick: IT DEPENDS?!? / Fooker: Yeah. On, um... on whether or not my best bud has HIS sights on her or not. Yeah. Right. (That sounds good.) / Nick: Uh HUH. / Fooker: Ya know... Don't want to move in on your territory, pal... / Nick: If you wanted to know how I feel about Ki, you could have just ASKED... / Fooker: I thought I just did...
GPF Archive: Thursday, February 3, 2000 Fooker: Okay, okay, I'm really just curious. Somehow, I got the vibe from you two that something might happen. Ya know... the Space Con, New Year's... I think I smell attraction in the air... / Nick: I don't know, Fooker. I've been thinking about this for a while now. I have to admit, I'm definitely attracted to Ki, and I think I'd like to see us get together, but there's a few issues I need to resolve first. / Fooker: Like what? / Nick: Like the fact I'm twenty-five years old and I've never been on a date in my life...
GPF Archive: Friday, February 4, 2000 Fooker: You've never been on a date... EVER?! Man, I thought I was a loser... / Nick: Thanks a LOT. I've never had any luck with women, so I'm always overly cautious. Which only makes things worse... / Nick: Then there's my self-imposed ban on dating a coworker. I've always thought that was a BIG mistake. So not only do I feel inadequate to approach Ki romantically, but I also feel awkward violating my own social rules... / Fooker: And I thought MY social skills were screwed up... / Nick: Oh, yeah... Then there's the OTHER problem...
 
GPF Archive: Saturday, February 5, 2000 Fooker: Other problem? Oh, let me guess. The whole "Pookel" IRC mess, right? / Nick: Actually... no. / Nick: I think I know who "Pookel" is... / Fooker: Y-you DO?!? / Nick: ...but I don't have the proof yet. No, this is ANOTHER problem... / [[Nick glances around the room]] / Fooker: ? / Nick whispers: I think TRUDY likes me... / Fooker: !
GPF Archive: Monday, February 7, 2000 Fooker: You think TRUDY'S sweet on YOU?!? / Nick: Okay, I admit I'm no expert, but look at the evidence:... / Nick: She tried to get me alone with her after that Black-Tie gala in April. She asked me to be her date at New Year's. She even gave me her phone number her first week on the job! What does THAT tell you? / Fooker: Okay, but at least YOU don't see HER as dateable material... / Nick: WELL...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 8, 2000 Fooker: You mean to say YOU'RE attracted to TRUDY?! / Nick: Trudy is a very beautiful woman, and she's always been nice to me. / Fooker: Are you kidding? She's a sadistic, cruel witch! / Nick: I've heard how you and Ki keep saying things like that, but I have yet to see any truth to it. / Fooker: I guess that's beacuse she never kept YOU locked in her torture chamber for a week... / Nick: She gave ME a nice card!
GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 9, 2000 Nick: Despite everything you and Ki have said, I think Trudy is a wonderful, attractive woman who appears to be misunderstood. / Fooker: Yeah, RIGHT. / Nick: I'm also very attracted to Ki, with whom I've spent much time and gotten to know very well. I think both of them are beautiful women and I would love to have the chance to date either one of them. / [[Nick bonks his head on the table]]<> / Nick: Now... If only I wasn't so CHICKEN, I would ask one of them out...
GPF Archive: Thursday, February 10, 2000 Nick: Look, Fooker, I've got a lot of things to think about. Both Ki and Trudy mean a lot to me, but I've got too much going on in my head to act right now. / Nick: I want you to SWEAR that, no matter what, you will NOT tell either one of them ANYthing I've told you. / Fooker: Okay, okay! / [[As their backs are turned, Trudy, who has overheard everything from a nearby table, glances at them with an evil grin.]]
 
GPF Archive: Friday, February 11, 2000 Ki: Well? How did it go? What did he say? Does he think we can get together? Does he see me as his type of woman? / Fooker: Um... / Ki: What's wrong, Fooker? Why won't you answer me? What did he say? He doesn't like me? Oh, no... He HATES me, doesn't he? He hates me, but can't find a way to tell me... / Fooker: ! / Fooker: The, uh... The topic never came up. / Ki: WHAT?!
GPF Archive: Saturday, February 12, 2000 Nick types at his computer: Dear Journal: Things are starting to get sticky with the whole Ki/Trudy thing. I wish this could be easier, but I'm going to have to do something soon... / Ki types at her computer: Dear Diary: Fooker was no help, so I'm back where I started. I have no idea how Nick feels about me. Something's got to happen soon, 'cause I don't know how much longer I can stand this... / Trudy writes in a journal: Evil Mastermind Log 2/12/2000: Everything is going exactly according to plan...
GPF Archive: Monday, February 14, 2000 [[A posh-looking room, perhaps in Trudy's home as she's wearing a dressing gown. Trudy presses a stud hidden in an ornate box (perhaps Chinese) sitting on a desk next to a light. A bookcase set in the far wall swings open with a screech, revealing a dark opening in the wall.]] / Trudy [[thinks]]: (Sigh)... Everything is moving exactly to plan, falling into place nicely... yet I still feel so... unfulfilled. / [[Trudy goes down a staircase with a stone wall on one side, and no railing. At the bottom off the stairs there is an arched doorway. A torch in a sconce on the wall appears to be the only light. A rat is looking on.]] / Trudy [[thinks]]: I have so much tension to work off... Nick, Ki, Fooker... the arms smuggling fiasco, the failure in conquering Australia... Oh, well, at least I have a way to work some of this off... / [[Dungeon. Trudy is now wearing a black corset and a spiked collar, and has a garment (her dressing gown?) draped on her left forearm. She's holding a bullwhip in her right hand. Agent FallenOne from Hosers is shackled spread-eagled upside down to a wall, or possibly a large wooden board, as an war axe is half-buried into it near his left hand. Other visible weapons are a spea and, a doubleheaded axe (labrys). There's also a iron maden with a carved lid standing upright.]] / Trudy [[thinks]]: ...if only I can finally _break_ this idiot... / Agent FallenOne <>: _YEAH_, baby! That's the spot!
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 15, 2000 Lev: Hey, I saw an all-you-can-eat pizza parlor one or two towns back. You look like a man who can appreciate a temple of gluttony. / Fooker: Gluttony? / Fooker: Why, that's my middle name! What are we waiting for? / Lev: The grease awaits... / Nick: You have no idea what you've done... / Aric: Don't bother. It was doomed the moment Lev laid eyes on it. / [[In distance, as Fooker and Lev run off]] / Lev: Race ya / Fooker: Fat chance
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 15, 2000 Lev: Hey, I saw an all-you-can-eat pizza parlor one or two towns back. You look like a man who can appreciate a temple of gluttony. / Fooker: Gluttony? / Fooker: Why, that's my middle name! What are we waiting for? / Lev: The grease awaits... / Nick: You have no idea what you've done... / Aric: Don't bother. It was doomed the moment Lev laid eyes on it. / [[In distance, as Fooker and Lev run off]] / Lev: Race ya / Fooker: Fat chance
GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 16, 2000 [[Close-up of a restaurant booth. Lev Babiev (from Hosers) is sitting, wearing a black leather jacket with studded shoulder tabs and a stylized skull on his right breast, a black leather cap, glasses, and an ear-to-ear demented grin. Behind the booth bench is a mountain of plates. Fooker is standing, apparently on his way out of the booth, holding an empty plate in his right hand and making a thumbs-up sign with his left hand. There's a toppled glass on the table, with something spilled out of it.]] / Fooker: Well, I'm going back for 32,493rds. You want? / Lev: Hold on... I'll help you carry it. / Fooker [[putting a slice of pizza on a plate]]: So how's that ol' cueballtob o' lard _Bob_ these days? / Lev [[starts, looking surprised]] [[thought bubble]]: Bob? Our boss?! [[Aloud]]: Are you-- / [[3 uniformed waiters are standing and looking menacingly at Lev and Fooker. One is holding a rolling pin, one a cutting wheel, and the 3rd something less distinct.]] / Fooker [[cuts Lev off, holds a finger to his lips]]: Shh! Not here. The pepperoni beckons. / Lev [[grinning savagely]]: Were I any less determined, I'd lose my appetite. Consume 'til the river of cheese runs dry. / One of the waiters: Get 'em, boys...
 
GPF Archive: Thursday, February 17, 2000 [[Fooker and Lev (from Hosers) get kicked out of the All-You-Can-Eat Pizza Palace. Inside, someone is putting an "Out Of Business" sign in the window.]] / [[Outside donut joint with sign reading "Donut Vista - Open 24 hrs" next to giant upright donut.]] / Lev [[grinning savagely and pointing at donut store]]: Dessert? / Fooker: I've never been kicked out of a doughnut shop before... / [[Lev and Fooker run across the street toward the donut joint. A waiter spots them from the doorway, and looks startled.]] / Lev: My friend, you haven't _lived_... until _now_. / Fooker: Kewl! / Waiter: Incoming!
GPF Archive: Friday, February 18, 2000 [[Nick and Aric Campling (from Hosers) are standing in the street. Nick is sweating profusely, shaking, and his face is flushed. He's wearing knee pants and a white T-shirt, and Aric is wearing a vaguely StarTrek-ish uniform with a rectangular symbol emblazoned on his left breast.]] / Nick: <> You think... we're far enough... from that madhouse...? / Aric: A hundred feet? It's no marathon, but I think we're out of immediate danger. / Aric: Are you OK? Your face is bright red... / Nick [[still shaking and sweating]]: Just a little... out of shape... nothing a heart attack... wouldn't fix... / [[Nick topples backward. Aric looks startled. For the first time, we notice he's holding something that looks like an Star Trek tricorder in his left hand. (His hands were out of the frame on previous panels.)]] / Aric: As a member of the medical profession, I have to say you don't look so good... / Nick: I'm fine... just be back... in a few... minutes...
GPF Archive: Saturday, February 19, 2000 [[Nick, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, is sitting on the ground, propping himself upwith his left hand and holding his right hand to his forehead. Aric (from Hosers) is squatting by him, wearing some kind of uniform and looking at a device in his left hand that makes a whirring noise. Between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, he's holding a small, oblong object, pointing in Nick's general direction.]] / Aric: You're just a little winded. You really need to exercise more... / Nick: I knew that doughnut and pizza diet wasn't doing me any good... / Nick: So what exactly _are_ you? The uniform, the funky trinkets... You look like you escaped from a Star Trek convention... / Aric: Er, yeah... Something like that... / [[Nick and Aric are standing. A car with a very blurry outline approaches fast, going VVVVROOOM!]] / Nick: Speaking of which, it looks like your friend is coming back at warp speed... / Aric: Breakig the speed of light again, Lev...? / Nick: Kewl Doppler effect...
GPF Archive: Monday, February 21, 2000 Narrator: As Spring approaches, one of the most feared periods of time grasps the nation... / [[Scene: A street intersection with malls]] / Narrator: Dreaded by women everywhere, it is the defining moment between sanity through summer and utter hysteria:... / [[We see Ki, Trudy, and an unknown woman around a clothing rack in a store]] / Narrator: Swimsuit shopping season / Cathy [From comic strip "Cathy" by Cathy Guisewite]: AAAAAAAAHHH!!! / Sales cleark: Chalk up another victim...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 22, 2000 [[Ki is trying on swimsuits in a fitting room]] / Ki thinks: I can't believe I'm torturing myself by shopping for bathing suits again. Why...? / Ki thinks: [[Picture of Nick driving a car, saying: Hey, Ki! Wanna head to the beach?]] <> / Ki: Excuse me... Do you have any really skimpy two-pieces?
 
GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 23, 2000 [[Ki is trying on a two-piece bathing suit and looking at herself in a mirror]] / Ki thinks: Whoa... Need to lay off the late-night nacho raids... / Ki thinks: I wonder if guys agonize over these painfully difficult fashion decisions? / [[Nick picks up a random article of swimtrunks]] / Nick thinks: Eh... Looks like it might fit...
GPF Archive: Thursday, February 24, 2000 Ki thinks: Hey... That little dress is SO cute... And it's on sale, too... / Ki thinks: Waitaminute! What am I thinking? I'm a rebel, not a slave to fashion! I dress for comfort only. I HATE to wear a dress! <>> / Ki thinks: I wonder if Nick would like it on me...
GPF Archive: Friday, February 25, 2000 [[Ki is at the cash register with her purchase]] / Ki thinks: I can't believe I'm buying these dresses. It's not like me. I have a formal and one dress to wear to weddings and funerals. / Ki thinks: I have a reputation to uphold. Everyone knows me as "Miss Shorts and Sweatpants." But I want to look good in front of Nick... / Ki thinks: Sigh... Only one thing could be more embarrassing right now... / Nick: Howdy, Stranger!
GPF Archive: Saturday, February 26, 2000 Ki: Thanks for carrying my stuff to my car, Nick. / Nick: No prob, Ki. / Nick: Those are some nice looking dresses you bought there. Got a big date coming? / Ki: Uh... I don't know. Maybe... / Nick: Whoever he is, I hope he likes 'em. They'll look great on you... / Ki: Really? <>
GPF Archive: Monday, February 28, 2000 Dwayne thinks: Let's see... I need to meet with the Alphadyn Rep at noon, pick up Nicole at three, drop by the dry cleaners before they close, and-- / [[Safe drops from the sky, almost hitting Dwayne]] / <> / Dwayne: ! / Dwayne thinks: A s-safe?! I thought that only happened in cartoons...!
 
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 29, 2000 Nick: Have you guys heard the news? Dwayne's at the hospital! / Trudy, Fooker, Ki: WHAT?! / Nick: He's okay, but shaken up. He was coming back from his bank when a SAFE almost fell on him! / Ki: You've got to be kidding! / Trudy thinks: I have a rival...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 1, 2000 Ki: Excuse us... We're friends of Dwayne Duncan. Is he all right? / Detective: Detective Carl Club. He's fine. / Detective: We're looking for leads in this case. Mr. Duncan is the fourth head of a small software company to fall victim to deadly safe droppings in the past year. Have any of you heard anything suspicious we should be aware of? / Fooker: You mean there's been a rash of safes falling from the sky? / Detective: Yeah, and only on you computer geeks. Kinda makes ya wonder... / Trudy: !
GPF Archive: Thursday, March 2, 2000 Trudy thinks: The police are searching for the person who almost dropped a safe on Dwayne. They're linking it with similar incidents where small software company heads have been crushed by falling safes. / Trudy thinks: But who could it be? I was the one who dropped the safes on the previous victims, to eliminate our competition. Who would be so insidious yet unimaginative as to imitate my-- / Trent: Why, Hel-LO, Trudy, you old doll, you! / Trudy: TRENT! / {{Trent's first strip}}
GPF Archive: Friday, March 3, 2000 Trudy: T-Trent! I haven't seen you since-- / Trent: Since we broke up in college? / Trudy: It's YOU, isn't it? YOU dropped the safe on Dwayne! I should have recognized your copycat ways in a heartbeat! / Trent: YOU should be so flattered. / Trudy: Now I remember why I purged you from my life! Wait until I tell the police-- / Trent: That I have evidence linking you to the other safe incidents? How thoughtful of you...
GPF Archive: Saturday, March 4, 2000 Trent: Take a good look, Trudy... Receipts, forms, your fingerprints... All the evidence needed to convict you for the entire safe dropping spree... Including the attack on Dwayne Duncan! / Trudy: B-but-- / Trent: How? My little secret. But why is simple. You ruined my life, Trudy. You made my existence miserable, and now it's time to return the favor. I'm back in your life again, and this time it won't be all whips and roses! / Trent: Be seein' you, gorgeous!
 

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