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| GPF Archive: Monday, April 10, 2000 | Dwayne: All right, team. This hike is meant to teach us cooperation, communication, and interdependence, while still retaining our competitive independence and self-reliance. / Dwayne: This exercise will be entertaining, yet educational. It should be inspirational, enlightening, and encouraging. We should form inseparable bonds, like no other company, which should amplify our marketability and boost efficiency. / Nick: Is it okay if we just have fun? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000410.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 11, 2000 | Ki: This is nuts, going on some stupid team-building hike in the middle of nowhere. All this fresh air is bad for my lungs.
/ Nick: Cheer up, Ki. / Nick: Look at this as an adventure, a vacation! As we retreat from the hustle and bustle of society, we can relax and enjoy each other's company.
/ Ki: I'd enjoy it a lot more... / Ki: If I didn't have to listen to the "Ballad of Fooker Crocket..."
/ Fooker sings: King of the wild frontier... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000411.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 12, 2000 | Fooker: The ballad of Fooker Crocket, by Jason M. Barker. *AHEM* / Fooker sings: Born in a suburb in Californee, Smoggiest state in th' land of th' free, Raised in th' city so's he'd never see a tree...
/ Ki: Shattup / Fooker sings: Kil't by a b'ar, when he was twenty-three
/ [[He notices in dismay a bear following him]] / {{Wallace T. Bruin's first strip}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000412.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, April 13, 2000 | Fooker: All right, Fooker. You're being followed by a bear. Don't panic...
/ Bear [Wallace T. Bruin]: Panicking would not be a good idea. You might provoke me. / Fooker: YIKES! And it can talk, too!
/ Bear [Wallace]: Of course I can talk. I'm quite friendly, too. / Fooker: Whew! At least that means you won't eat me...
/ Bear [Wallace]: Don't get me wrong. Just because I'm friendly doesn't mean I'm not hungry... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000413.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, April 14, 2000 | Fooker: Gang, it is at this time I must quote the immortal words of Monty Python:... / Fooker: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
/ [[All run]]
/ Bear [Wallace]: I must now make a formal declaration of "GRRR!" / {{Reference to movie: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000414.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, April 15, 2000 | [[Nick and Dwayne, treed by the bear]]
/ Nick: So, Dwayne... Was this a planned part of our team building hike, or just one of those character building Kodak moments...?
/ Bear [Wallace]: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000415.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, April 17, 2000 | [[Scene: top of tree]] / Nick: Well, it's been an hour now, and that bear that chased us is still down there...
/ Dwayne:Have you seen any sign of the others? / Nick: Not for a while. Ki and Trudy ran off one way, and Fooker another.
/ Dwayne: Aw, Nick, this is all my fault! I should never have come up with this silly team-building hike idea. / Nick:Don't blame yourself, Dwayne. You had no idea this would happen...
/ Dwayne: "Computer geeks and the outdoors don't mix," you said and did I listen? NooOOoo... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000417.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 18, 2000 | Dwayne: I guess our top priority now is getting down out of this tree...
/ Nick: At least we know the bear isn't chasing after the others. / Dwayne: Nick, look! The bear is getting into our packs and eating our food!
/ Nick: Good! If he eats that, maybe he'll leave us alone. / Nick: Ya know, I've never seen a bear replace the cap on a juice bottle before...
/ Bear [Wallace]: Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000418.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 19, 2000 | Dwayne: Great Scott! The bear that treed us can talk!
/ Bear [Wallace]: Silly human, of COURSE I can talk. / Bear [Wallace]: I escaped from a circus a few years back. My trainer was a disgruntled former Yale Literature professor. He taught me to read and write. Speaking followed naturally. / Nick: Somehow, a talking bear doesn't seem natural to me...
/ Bear [Wallace]: I've memorized The Divine Comedy and The Illiad. Care for a recitation? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000419.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, April 20, 2000 | Dwayne: Great! We're caught up in a tree thanks to a talking, literature quoting ex-circus bear.
/ Nick: Say... Now that you've eaten all our food, would you mind letting us down to find our friends? / Bear [Wallace]: Sorry, old sport, but that is out of the question. I've had a terribly lonely life since I left the circus. I've written three novels, sixty sonets, and twelve plays, and I've had no one to share them with... until now. / Nick: Something tells me we're going to be here a while...
/ Dwayne: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000420.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, April 21, 2000 | Wallace: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Nay, lint of my navel. Thou art like unto the light, fresh fur on a newborn cub's bottom..." / Dwayne: I don't think I can stand this much longer...
/ Nick: I wonder how the others are doing... / [[Ki is hanging off a cliff holding only to a root, and Trudy is hanging off her]]
/ Ki: Uh... Help? / {{Wallace's poem starts out like Shakespeare's Sonnet #18.}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000421.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, April 22, 2000 | Nick: Since our story has been so dramatic these past three weeks, we have decided to take a short pause today for this pointless interlude. / [[Fooker,dressed in a weird outfit, runs through the comic strip, passing Nick, while fish cavort]]: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000422.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, April 24, 2000 | Tag: For those who came in late: Dwayne's team building hiking trip has become a disaster! Currently, he and Nick have been treed by a hungry ex-circus bear, Fooker is missing, and Ki and Trudy dangle precariously off a sheer cliff... / Ki: Trudy, I can't hold your weight any longer! You're going to have to climb up me before I slip...
/ Trudy: ME? Climb up THERE?! I can't reach that! / Ki: Well, there's always the alternative...
/ Trudy: Suddenly, I feel a lot more confident in my climbing skills...
/ [[Trudy climbs over Ki]] http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000424.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 25, 2000 | Trudy: Phew! I made it! The drop off this cliff is dizzying!
/ Ki: Good! Now help me up! This root is starting to break! / Trudy: I have half a mind to just leave you dangling, Ki...
/ Ki: Since that's all the mind you've got, why haven't you left? / Trudy: Give me one good reason I should help you.
/ Ki: Uh... You'll need my help to fight the huge mountain lion that just snuck up behind you?
/ off-screen: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000425.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 26, 2000 | Trudy: A mountain lion? You don't expect me to fall for THAT old line, do you?
/ Ki: Go ahead. Look behind you. / Mountain lion: GRRRRR... / [[Trudy has jumped back to holding off Ki off the cliff face]]
/ Ki: What happened to the fearless evil mastermind?
/ Trudy: "She who fights and runs away..." http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000426.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, April 27, 2000 | Ki: Trudy, we have to think of something! The Mountain Lion can almost reach us
/ Trudy: You're so smart. Why don't you come up with something? / Ki: Yeow! He almost scratched me!
/ Trudy: Now what can go wrong? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000427.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, April 28, 2000 | Nick: Dwayne, are you awake?
/ Dwayne: Barely. Why?
/ Wallace: Ode to tree bark... / Nick: I thought I heard the girls scream...
/ Wallace: ...by Wallace T.... / < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000428.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, April 29, 2000 | Trudy: Does that bear ever shut up?
/ Nick: Not yet. At least it's better than being eaten by a mountain lion...
/ Ki: I'm not so sure... / Dwayne: Our only hope now is that Fooker will reach civilization and come back to rescue us. / Nick: We're doomed. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000429.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, May 1, 2000 | Tag: For those who came in late: With the rest of the GPF crew trapped in a tree by a poetry spouting ex-circus bear, Fooker is their only hope...
/ Fooker thinks: Whew! I lost the bear, but I lost the rest of the gang, too! / Fooker thinks: Well, I shouldn't look for them on an empty stomach. I better grab a quick bite to eat... / Fooker: Hey... Where'd all my food go?
/ voice from the pack [Fred]: BURP! Pardon me... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000501.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 2, 2000 | Fooker: All my food is gone! How did that happen? What a minute... What's this?... / Fooker: FRED! What are you doing in my backpack?
/ Fred: I fell asleep in the fridge and woke up here. Where are we? / Fooker: Lost in the woods with no food, thanks to you.
/ Fred: Look on the bright side. At least I won't starve... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000502.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 3, 2000 | Fred: So you lost track of the others when you got away from the bear, right?
/ Fooker: And the bear could talk, too. / Fred: Uh, sure. Right. Whatever. Our top priority is survival. We can't help the others if we can't help ourselves. Fortunately, I've seen enough National Geographic specials to be an expert. / Fred: As long as we avoid the poison ivy, we should be okay.
/ Fooker: Gee, what's this neat little patch of three-leafed plants? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000503.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, May 4, 2000 | Fred: Three-leafed plants? Fooker, that's poison ivy!
/ Fooker: Poison ivy? That's a bad thing, right? / Fred: According to my calculations of your genetic history, you are highly allergic to it!
/ Fooker: You've been doing calculations on my genetic history? / Fred: No time for that now, man! We must act quickly to protect you!
/ Fooker: No, I want to hear about you playing odds on my genes... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000504.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, May 5, 2000 | Fred: Never mind the argument! We need to get you out of this poison ivy fast!
/ Fooker: Maybe if I walk extra carefully... / [[Fooker trips, sending Fred flying]]
/ Fooker: Oops... / [[Fooker has landed face first in the poison ivy. Fred is on top of Fooker's boot and so out of the poison ivy.]]
/ Fooker: Or... I could just accept fate and dive straight into the mouth of danger.
/ Fred: You're a real klutz, you know that? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000505.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, May 6, 2000 | Fooker: Great! I landed face-first in a patch of poison ivy!
/ Fred: Grace, thy name is Fooker. / Fooker: And now I'm starting to itch!
/ Fred: Really? Somehow I predicted that would happen... / Fooker: Fred! Give me a hand here!
/ Fred: I would, but I'm only a semi-gelatinous slime mold. Should I cheer instead? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000506.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, May 8, 2000 | Fooker: Quick, Fred! This poison ivy is killing me! What do I do?
/ Fred: Jump into that muddy bog over there. / Fooker in mud: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000508.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 9, 2000 | Fred: I can't believe you fell for all that nonsense about jumping in mud and rolling in leaves to stop your itching...
/ Fooker: Neither can I... / Fooker: At least it worked. I no longer itch anymore. No more poison ivy for me...
/ Fred: Shhh! What's that noise? / Fooker: It sounds like someone reading poetry... Really BAD poetry...
/ Fred: Who wrote that trash? A bear? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000509.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 10, 2000 | Wallace: "Tree bark, oh, tree bark, how rough art thee; like unto the boulder free..." / [[Fooker, covered in mud and leaves, with Fred on his shoulder, confront Wallace]] / Fooker: Booga booga.
/ Wallace: AHHHH! A BOG MONSTER! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000510.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, May 11, 2000 | Nick: Look! The bear is running off!
/ Ki: And it looks scared, too! / Dwayne: I wonder what could be mean enough to scare him...
/ Trudy: What is that strange creature THERE?! / Fooker: The king of the wild frontier, who else?
/ All: FOOKER?!? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000511.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, May 12, 2000 | [[Dwayne on a pay phone]]
/ Dwayne: Hi, honey... Yeah, the hike ended early... Any way you could bring the truck out to... Oh... Then I guess we ought to call a cab... What was that? / Dwayne: No... I wouldn't ask how the hike went if I were you...
/ Fooker [still covered in mud and leaves]: I had fun... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000512.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, May 13, 2000 | Dwayne: I'm really sorry about how the hike turned out, gang. I meant for us to share a valuable team-building experience; instead, it was a total disaster. / Ki: It's okay, Dwayne. Even fearless leaders make occasional mistakes. But we came out alive, so everything turned out okay in the end. / Dwayne: I don't suppose you guys will be willing to go on that white water rafting trip I was planning for August, huh?
/ All: Uh, NO... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20000513.html |
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