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| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 9, 2001 | [[Fooker is standing in a crowd with one of his friends, a look of surprise is on his face and a cigarette falls from his mouth]]
/ CAPTION : It was one of those magic moments, like in the movies when that sappy music starts playing. My feet just wouldn't move. / [[Side on shot of Ki with long, curly, black hair and a smile to melt hearts]]
/ CAPTION : For some reason, the year had trasnformed that bratty freshman who beat me up into a lovely goddess. Beauty, brains... I could feel my loins burning with desire... / [[Back to the couch, with Ki, Nick & Fooker]]
/ FOOKER : Hey, now.. That was YEARS ago. My loins are ice cold now. I don't find her attractive in the slightest way...
/ KI : Gee, THANKS... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010109.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 10, 2001 | {{Fooker is reminiscing about college}}
/ [[Fooker is looking at Ki chatting with a fellow, male student]]
/ CAPTION : I was smitten thoroughly. I would do anything to make this she-geek mine. / [[Fooker is starting to trip over his shoelaces]]
/ CAPTION : Of course, old habits are hard to break.. like forgetting to tie my shoes... / [[Fooker has tripped over and landed on Ki, bringing her crashing to the ground whilst a fellow student looks on in amazement]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010110.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 11, 2001 | { Fooker is reminiscing about college }
/ [[Fooker is standing with backpack on and cigarette in mouth. Ki has her back to him with an unimpressed look on her face]]
/ CAPTION : Needless to say, Ki wouldn't have anything to do with me after that. Try as I might she ignored me.
/ FOOKER : Er... Hi...
/ KI : Hmph. / [[Fooker, Ki & Nick on the couch - Fooker in the foreground with head resting on hand]]
/ FOOKER : To tell the truth, I didn't really blame her. I was a mess back then. Arrogant, rude... I smoked a lot and fell in with the wrong crowd. / [[Fooker in the college bar downing cans of beer as fast as possible being egged on by two other students]]
/ CAPTION : And I had a problem. A really BIG problem..
/ VARIOUS : CHUG IT! CHUG IT! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010111.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 12, 2001 | { Fooker is reminiscing about college }
/ [[Fooker is sitting at a desk with books and papers and is drinking a beer]]
/ CAPTION : I drank beer like water. I started back in high school, and by the time I hit college I couldn't finish a day without one. I was a real mess. / [[Fooker is looking at a piece of paper. The only legible word is PROBATION]]
/ CAPTION : It ruined my relationship with my parents, and my brother still won't talk to me. My grades went down the toilet, and I was put on academic probation. I even lost all my student loans. / [[A drunk Fooker is outside the SU bar, can in hand. He has silly muffs on his ears and an angry Ki storms past him. She is wearing a Santa hat]]
/ CAPTION : Somehow, it had little obvious effect on my love life...
/ FOOKER : Hey there, hot shtufft... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010112.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 13, 2001 | [[Fooker is very drunk]]
/ Fooker: Hey, baby... How 'bout you an' me do th' big hor'zontal mambo up in my room, huh?
/ Ki: Get lost, creep. / [[Fooker puts his hand on Ki's arm]]
/ Fooker: C'mon, Ki... Ya know ya want it... Once ya try th' Fookinator, ya won't settle fer less. / < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010113.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, January 15, 2001 | [[Fooker, sitting up in bed without his glasses, Ki with long hair standing next to him.]]
/ Fooker: Wuhhgh... Where am I?
/ Ki: You're in the hospital. / Fooker: How'd I get here?
/ Ki: You were so drunk when I kicked you, you blacked out. Your R.A. and I brought you in. / Fooker: Then why are you here?
/ Ki: When I heard they couldn't reach your family, I felt guilty. I've been checking on you. / Fooker: Whew. At least I won't miss my A.I. midterm...
/ Ki: That was Monday. This is Thursday. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010115.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 16, 2001 | [[In a hospital room. Fooker is in the bed]]
/ Fooker: Look, Ki... I-I'm real sorry about yester-- I mean, Saturday.
/ Ki: Okay. Apology accepted, as long as it never happens again. / Fooker: I get real messed up when I drink. I've tried to cut down, but I can't help myself...
/ Ki: It's not my place to comment, but you should try to quit. / Fooker: Says the woman with a pack of cigarettes in her pocket...
/ Ki: I SAID it's not my place to comment... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010116.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 17, 2001 | [[Fooker is signing out of the hospital after discharge, Ki is with him. They are standing at the "Outpatients" desk]]
/ Fooker: When I'm sober, I can see I've got a drinking problem. It's just I can't stay sober long enough to do anything about it. / [[Ki and Fooker put their jackets on]]
/ Ki: What you need is a friend who can watch you and help keep you straight. They can be your moral crutch until you can fight temptation on your own. / [[Fooker stares at Ki]]
/ Ki: What?! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010117.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 18, 2001 | Fooker: C'mon, Ki! You'd be perfect as my "Moral crutch" while I try and quit drinking.
/ Ki: I said you'd need a friend for that. I'm NOT your friend. / Fooker: Look, all my "friends" drink. They wouldn't be much help. You hate me enough to kick me in the gonads if I screw up. It's a perfect match!
/ Ki: OUT of the question. / Fooker: I can get your a job. Do your programming homework. Remove your disk quota. Name your price...
/ Ki: Keep talking... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010118.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 19, 2001 | Fooker: I work part time at this small start-up not far from here. A friend of mine works there, but he's moving soon and his position's open.
/ Ki: Go on... / Fooker: The owner's a really kewl guy, and he'd happilly give you a job. Heck, with your grades, he'll probably hire you full time before the ink on your diploma is dry. / Ki: Throw out my disk quota and it's a deal.
/ Fooker: Okay, but no 50 meg downloads on your web page, okay? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010119.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 20, 2001 | [[Ki and Fooker at a table, Waiter offering Ki and Fooker a beer]]
/ Voice of Fooker: So Ki agreed to help me quit drinking, while I put in a good word with my boss about a job for her.
/ Ki: No thanks.
/ Fooker: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010120.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, January 22, 2001 | [[Ki and Fooker are waiting in a lobby for Ki's interview]]
/ Ki: Then came the day I interviewed for the job Fooker arranged for me....
/ Ki: I'm so nervous...I've never had a job interview before. / Fooker: Don't sweat it, Ki. You're practically guaranteed this job. Besides, this guy is really kewl. You'll love him. / [[Dwayne comes in wearing a frightening monster mask. Ki and Fooker are surprised.]]
/ Dwayne: YEARG! / [[Dwayne has taken off the mask and is looking at Ki, who has fallen backwards with her legs in the air]]
/ Dwayne: Oops! She's passed out!
/ Fooker: I think your "break the tension" technique needs a little work, Dwayne. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010122.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 23, 2001 | [[Dwayne is adressing Ki, with Fooker standing between them]]
/ Dwayne: I'm really sorry about the scare back there, Miss Oshiro.
/ Fooker: That's okay, Mr. Duncan. Fooker explained it to me... / [[Dwayne stares at Fooker]]
/ Dwayne: "Fooker?" / [[Fooker is beginning to look really embarassed now, scratching his head and grinning uncomfortably. Dwayne is still completely oblivious while Ki is starting to get a little angry]]
/ Dwayne: Who's "Fooker," Jason?
/ Fooker: Oh, guess you haven't heard my nickname before, huh?
/ Ki: Who's Jason? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010123.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 24, 2001 | [[Dwayne, Fooker and Ki are sitting in Dwayne's office]]
/ Dwane: Your Resume is a bit thin, but those grades are really impressive, Ki. Consider yourself employed.
/ Ki: Yes! Thank You! Thank You! / Dwayne: You'll make a great addition to the GPF Software team...
/ Ki: "GPF"... Soft... / Ki: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010124.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 25, 2001 | [[Ki shaking hands with Dwayne, as Fooker looks on.]]
/ Ki: Sure enough, Dwayne loved my work, and offered me a job before I graduated. I didn't hesitate in accepting. / [[Ki & Fooker walking together at college.]]
/ Fooker: And Dwayne hired me full time, too. After I finally graduated, Ki kept me clean, and we became good buddies. / [[Back on the couch.]]
/ Nick: Wow... I didn't know you two had so much history...
/ Fooker: Wait 'til you hear about the night we spent at Lake Murphy...
/ Ki: ! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010125.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 26, 2001 | [[Nick, Ki, and Fooker sitting on a couch.]]
/ Nick: Lake Murphy?
/ Fooker: Yeah, it was this really dark night, and--
/ Ki: Oh, no you don't! / [[Ki pushes Nick toward the kitchen.]]
/ Ki: Nick, you go pop us some popcorn. I've got a word or two to tell Fooker.
/ Nick: Uh, okay...
/ Fooker: ? / [[Ki watches Nick go into the kitchen (off-panel).]] / [[Ki scolds Fooker.]]
/ Ki: You are never to tell Nick about Lake Murphy.
/ Fooker: Why? He's bound to see you naked eventually... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010126.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 27, 2001 | Nick: We missed half the Sci-Fi marathon, but I think it was worth it just to learn more about eachother.
/ Ki: Yeah. / Fooker: I'll give you a ride home, Ki. Let me get my keys...
/ Ki: Okay {{leaves}} / [[Fooker checks to see if Ki is far enough away]] / Nick: Lake Murphy?
/ Fooker: If you ever want to know about the mark on her left butt cheek, ask her about skinny dipping and leeches... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010127.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, January 29, 2001 | [[Fred is studying the monitor. Fooker pokes into the room.]]
/ Fred: Fooker, what's this really big file you're downloading?
/ Fooker: Big file? That should just be e-mail... / [[Fooker comes over to the monitor, is mildly annoyed, Fred turns in the direction of Fooker]]
/ Fooker: Ah, man... I hate it when people send me huge attachments. It's rude, it wastes bandwidth... / [[Fooker is shocked, pointing at the screen, Fred turns back to the monitor]]
/ Fooker: Oooooh... / [[Fooker hunches over, fully intent on the screen]]
/ Fooker: ...and sometimes it's realy nifty source code...
/ Monitor: ndways_src.tgz
/ Fred: Source code to what?
/ {{Part of the Help Desk crossover. Ubersoft v. GPF software. The trial of the century...or maybe just next week}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010129.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 30, 2001 | Fooker: Great! Nick, you're here! C'mon!
/ Nick: [[groggily]] Fooker, why did you call me here at three in the morning...? / Fooker: I just had to show you this... You remember my buddy Phil who works at Ubersoft?
/ Nick: [[sleepily]] No...
/ Fooker: Good... / Fooker: Well, he happened to "acquire" something of interest and mailed it to me. I just had to show it to you. You're gonna love it...
/ Nick: [[somnambulating]] Z Z Z Z... / Fooker: Behold... The source code to the Nifty Doorways operating system!
/ Nick: ? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010130.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 31, 2001 | [[A just-out-of-bed Nick is standing behind Fooker, looking at Fooker's computer screen. In the background, we see a slime mold peeping out from behind a picture frame]]
/ Nick: Nifty Doorways? Isn't that the really buggy operating system from Ubersoft?
/ Fooker: Yep, and here's all 300 million lines of source code. / [[Nick is staring at Fooker in disbelief, while Fooker points out something on his monitor outside the panel]]
/ Nick: Ignoring the legality of this for a moment, you'd think that those guys could at least turn out a decent OS...
/ Fooker: Maybe they have, and we just don't know it. Check out this line of code... / [[Nick is dumbfoundedly looking at the monitor, together with Fooker. In the background, the slime mold is withdrawing behind the picture frame. The change of camera position also brings a poster of Mischief into view]]
/ Computer screen: set_bugs = 1; http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010131.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, February 1, 2001 | [[Nick and Fooker looking at a computer]]
/ Nick: A flag that turns on bugs? No wonder nifty doorways is so bad...
/ Fooker: I wonder... / Nick: You're going to change that code, aren't you?
/ Fooker: And recompile it, yes. Let's see what happens... / Nick: I don't think you should be doing this...
/ Fooker: Aw, c'mon Nick! What's it gonna hurt
/ Computer: set_bugs = 0; / [[The Ubersoft Boss, hovers in a corridor, fiery letters spelling out Boss hovers beside it]]
/ Narrator: Elseware...
/ Ubersoft Boss: I sense a great disturbance in the force...
/ {{Part of the Help Desk crossover. Ubersoft v. GPF software. The trial of the century...or maybe just next week}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010201.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, February 2, 2001 | Fooker: Dude, you remember the Nifty Doorways code we saw last night?
/ Nick: You mean, "This morning"...? / Fooker: After you left , I installed the "fixed" OS. You won't believe it! It's the most stable OS I've ever seen! With that flag turned off, I couldn't crash it! / Nick: That's quite disturbing. I seriously doubt Ubersoft would want this sort of information to leak out...
/ Fooker: Well... / Nick: _Fooker_...
/ Fooker: I kinda already emailed it to this hacker mailing I frequent... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010202.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, February 3, 2001 | [[Fooker and Ki are standing before a television at work]]
/ GNN Reporter: Authorities announced today a pirated, "bug-free" copy of the Ubersoft Nifty Doorways operating system has been circulating around the Internet this week. / [[Television screen, reporter at a desk with GNN logo in bottom right hand corner]]
/ GNN Reporter: Although Ubersoft has yet to comment, FBI officers have traced the source code to a "hacker" mailing list. The email address of the orginal hacker has been traced back to a small software company called GPF Software... / [[The office, Ki is glaring at Fooker, who has a cheesy grin]]
/ Fooker: Oopsy...
/ GNN Reporter: One FBI official commented, "This guy's got to be the worst hacker I've ever seen..." http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010203.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, February 4, 2001 | [[Nick & Fooker, in Fooker's jalopy, pulling up to the Wacky Burger drive-in.]]
/ Fooker: Wanna grab some lunch, Nick?
/ Nick: Sure... / Fooker: Whatchya want?
/ Nick: Wacky Burger combo with a drink. And mega size it.
/ Fooker: Gotcha. / Drive-in speaker: Memkrn tn Acky Rgr. Mr ir trk yr rdr?
/ Fooker: Wacky nuggets, cherry pie, and whatever you do, DON'T mega size it. / < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010204.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, February 5, 2001 | [[Car driving towards GPF Software Custom Internet Applications]]
/ [[Bird is singing. Squirrels fighting over acorn. Bunny visible]] / [[Inside, Trudy smiling, Fooker whistling, Nick and Ki smiling]] / [[Ubersoft operatives kick down door]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010205.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 6, 2001 | Dwayne: FBI?! What's wrong? Why are you here?
/ FBI agent: We're confiscating this equipment. Our sources indicate it was used to commit intellectual property theft. / Dwayne: You can't be serious!
/ FBI agent: We have e-mail logs tracking Ubersoft code to a "fooker@gpfsoftware.com."
/ Fooker: (thinking) Oops... / Dwayne: Well, in that case, do you have a warrant?
/ FBI agent: ... / Dwayne: You're not with the FBI, are you...?
/ FBI agent: I... left it in my other vest...? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010206.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 7, 2001 | Dwayne: This is ridiculous. No one here has stolen anyone's intellectual property...
/ Fooker: Um... Chief? Let me handle this... / Fooker: Look, GPF Software had nothing to do with this. I got the source code in an e-mail sent from Ubersoft itself. No one stole anything. Surely that calls for some leniency... / Ubersoft rep: Your e-mail was traced to this domain. By this, we can hold your company responsible for the theft of my client's code. It doesn't matter how you acquired it; you still transferred it illegally. / Fooker: What about the guy who sent it to me? Shouldn't _he_ be held responsible?
/ Ubersoft rep: He'll be punished. Suing you is mostly just for _fun_. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010207.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, February 8, 2001 | Caption: Before trial, negotiations promptly fail...
/ Mr. Duncan: That's unreasonble!
/ Lawyer: Your complete surrender is "unreasonable"? / Mr. Duncan: This is asinine. Your logs, our logs... Everything points to an ACCIDENT.
/ Lawyer: Our code was found on HIS home computer. All I see is EVIDENCE. / Mr. Duncan: Fine. See you in court.
/ Lawyer: As you wish... / Trudy & Boss: Oh... It's YOU... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010208.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, February 9, 2001 | [[ Inside the courtroom.]]
/ {{Tagline: Opening Arguments:}}
/ Viktor: As the logs clearly show, Jason Barker forwarded the stolen code, compromising my client's intellectual property. / [[The judge is seated at his bench. In front of him is a name plate that is partially concealed but appears to say, "Da Judge".]]
/ Judge: Counselor, I'm no expert, but doesn't the e-mail address listed as sending the code to Mr. Barker belong to your client's corporation? / Viktor: That is irrelevant, your honor. It is well known that e-mail headers can be "spoofed," obfuscating their origin. It's a tactic commonly used by "spammers." / [[The judge frowns at Viktor.]]
/ Judge: And what about the Ubersoft employee who _admitted_ sending the message to Barker?
/ Viktor: Did I mention Mr. Barker has terrible hygeine? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010209.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, February 10, 2001 | {{Ubersoft V. GPF Software crossover}} / [[In courtroom. Fooker is on the witness stand.]] / Narrator: Deliberation continues:
/ Da Judge: Please continue, Mr. Barker. . .
/ Fooker: Yes sir. Your Honor-ship. / Fooker: So my old pal Phil sends me the code, and I discover the "set bugs" flag. I recompile it, then accidentally send it to the mailing list instead of someone else. . . / Fooker: [[stands]] I object!
/ Da Judge: I told you before, you can't object to your own testimony. / Fooker: [[sheepish]] Oh, yeah. What was the question again?
/ Da Judge: [[Holds head in hands]] This court will have an hour recess. . .
/ Gavel: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20010210.html |
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