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| GPF Archive: Monday, January 11, 1999 | I could have sworn I put that file on the server yesterday. No one else has permission to delete it... / So begins the search...
/ Oklahoma Nick and the Server of Doom
/ Who needs Harrison Ford? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990111.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 12, 1999 | Narrator: Oklahoma Nick searches the Server of Doom to find a missing file... / Nick: Surely, this is my greatest challenge... / Nick: I've battled mail daemons, sword-swinging Unix, and sinister dot-plans to get this far, but never have I met a more diabolical foe than... / Nick: ...The sys admin!
/ Fooker: Prepare to meet thy doom, user! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990112.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 13, 1999 | Narrator: Oklahoma Nick encounters his deadly foe...
/ Fooker: Yes, I, the system administrator, have your precious file in my sinister clutches! / Nick: You'll never get away with this, root!
/ Fooker: I already have, user! Now, you will have to face my deadly assassin... / Fooker: ... the marketing witch!
/ Trudy: Let's see your paradigm shift NOW, boy... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990113.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 14, 1999 | Narrator: As Oklahoma Nick prepares to do battle...
/ Ki: Oh, Nick! What are we going to do ?
/ Nick: Ki ! What are you doing here ? / Ki: Uh... I don't know. I suppose I'm supposed to be your obligatory love interest.
/ Nick: Well, I'd certainly rather have you here... / Nick: ...than see Trudy in a dominatrix outfit...
/ Ki: Nick, look out! It's the internet worm !
/ InternetWorm: Growl... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990114.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 15, 1999 | Narrator: Oklahoma Nick stands perilously at the edge of doom... / Voice: Use the force, Nick... Let go your feelings... / Nick: Uh, Dwayne, that's from the wrong movie...
/ Dwayne: Darn, I need to get out more... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990115.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 16, 1999 | Fooker: Give up, Nick! We will only tickle you with flying pig feathers!
/ Trudy: I'm really your sister...
/ Ki: I'm pregnant... / Mr.Lardbottom: Nick, Mr. Lardbottom here. Time to turn in your algebra homework...
/ Nick: AHH! I'm naked!
/ Ki: mmm...!
/ Pig: Oink ? / [[Out of the dream]]
/ Fooker: Poor guy. I hope he hasn't drooled on the keyboard... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990116.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, January 18, 1999 | Fooker: There's that slime mold thing that Nick and I found here in my appartment... I wonder where it came from... / Fooker: So... where have you been hiding lately ? / SlimeMold: Under the couch, you macroscopic moron.
/ Fooker: ! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990118.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 19, 1999 | Fooker: You--you can talk !
/ SlimeMold: Of course I can talk. You just never spoke to me before. / SlimeMold: I gained sentience lying in the putrid squalor of your apartment. My intelligence has grown exponentially. I learned to communicate by listening to you and watching television. / Fooker: You have quite a vocabulary for a slime mold.
/ SlimeMold: I watched a lot of PBs. The pops rules. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990119.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 20, 1999 | Fooker: Wow... The world's first sentient slime mold lives in my apartment...
/ SlimeMold: Yeah, well, the novelty will wear off in a few days... / Fooker: Wait 'til I tell my friends...
/ SlimeMold: Don't tell them. This will be our little secret. / Fooker: Aw, c'mon... you don't wanna be famous ?
/ SlimeMold: Poke me again and I'll digest your finger... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990120.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 21, 1999 | Fooker: We need to come up with a name for you...
/ SlimeMold: I was thinking of Chaucer... or Darwin... or maybe Pasteur... / Fooker: Why don't we call you Fred ?
/ SlimeMold: I think Nostradamus would be nice... / Fooker: Yeah... Fred the slime mold...
/ SlimeMold: Hello ? Are you the only life form present here ? Oh, well, at least it's better than "Fooker"... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990121.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 22, 1999 | Fooker: I'm getting tired of pbs. Let's watch "Babewatch."
/ Fred: Shh! I'm watching national geographic. / Fooker: Where's the remote ?
/ Fred: Pavarotti is on next... / Fooker: Fred... Where's the remote ?
/ Fred: I ate it. Now shut up and get cultured. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990122.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 23, 1999 | Fooker: I can't believe you ate the TV remote...
/ Fred: Hey! Where are you going ? / Fooker: To change the channel. I want to watch "Babewatch."
/ Fred: No fair! You have legs! It will take me five minutes just to ooze over there! / Fooker: Well, it's my TV, so I watch what I want.
/ Fred: Yeah, well, I pay half the rent, so start packin', solid boy. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990123.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, January 25, 1999 | [[Trudy bother Ki by standing behind here]] / Trudy: Yes, Ki, I CAN read your thoughts, I AM evil incarnate, and I AM prettier than you. / Ki(thinking): Go stick your face in a blender...
/ Trudy: I heard that. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990125.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 26, 1999 | Dwayne: I'll be back later this afternoon. I'm going to a competitor's funeral. It's a matter of respect and good press.
/ Nick: What happened ? / Dwayne: A horrible accident. I think a safe fell on him. / Trudy: I love my job... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990126.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 27, 1999 | Trudy: Watch very carefully, Ki, and I will show you why we women will one day rule the world. / Trudy: ...And after work, I think I'll smother myself in coconut oil, put on a string bikini, and lounge in the sun until I break a sweat and turn a luscious shade of tan...
/ Ki: ?
/ Fooker: < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990127.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 28, 1999 | [[Ki, Fooker, and Nick are standing together. Ki has a lit cigarette in her right hand. Fooker has his right hand on the back of his neck, Nick has his right hand on his forehead.]]
/ Fooker: This crick in my neck is killing me...
/ Nick: I think I'm developing a migraine... / [[Ki looks down, with her left hand on her tummy]]
/ Ki: I hate to admit it, but this is the worst case of cramps I've ever had...
/ Nick: I wonder why we're developing these sudden ailments ? / [[Trudy is facing the reader, grinning evilly, with a Dwayne doll in her left hand and a pin in her right hand.
/ Trudy: Hey, everybody has a hobby...
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990128.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 29, 1999 | Trudy: Face it, Ki. I'm simply better than you in every way.
/ Ki: Let's see you code a shell script to parse ten-tousand e-mails in under five minutes. / [[Moment of silence]] / Trudy: Uh... Excuse me...
/ Ki: YES! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990129.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 30, 1999 | Fooker: Don't tell me you're listening to provalone again...
/ Fred: That's Pavarotti, you cretin. / Fooker: How can you hear without ears ?
/ Fred: I can feel the vibrations and interpret them. It's often soothing. / Fooker: Sounds stimulating.
/ Fred: I find the 1812 overture to be quite erotic... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990130.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, February 1, 1999 | Nick: Hey, Fooker. Check out the Kewl new Java applet I wrote for my web page.
/ Fooker: Waitaminute / Fooker: You mean to tell me you write computer programs all day at work, then go home and write more programs to relax?
/ Nick: Uh, yeah... / Fooker: DUDE!!!
/ [[Nick & Fooker Hi-Five]] < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990201.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 2, 1999 | Fooker: Dude, I thought I was the only man on earth geeky enough to code for a living and code at home for fun. It's good to know I'm not alone.
/ Nick: Ditto. / Nick: I mean, I enjoy writting programs, but at least it's a different project I work on at home. That's the only sane way I could actually do it. / Fooker: There's nothing sane about us, my brother in geekdom. We are insanity incarnate.
/ Nick: Boola boola. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990202.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 3, 1999 | Fooker: As you can see, chief, that java applet Nick designed could have tons of uses. I'm thinking we could incorporate it into the company web site...
/ Dwayne: Uh, sure, Fooker... / Dwayne: But when are you going to find time to overhaul our web site ? We're in the middle of a major project...
/ Fooker: Nick and I will do it in our spare time. / Dwayne: Uh... don't you two have anything better to do in your spare time, like, say, have a social life ?
/ Fooker: Social life ? What's that, sir ? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990203.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, February 4, 1999 | Dwayne: Look, guys. I admire your enthusiasm and work ethic, but you need to relax. I don't want you writing your own programs at home after work anymore.
/ Nick: But writing programs is HOW we relax. / Dwayne: You're missing my point. You code at work for a job. You shouldn't code at home for fun. You'll burn yourselves out! It's not normal!
/ Fooker: But we're NOT normal, Dwayne. We're geeks. We do this sort of thing. / Dwayne: I'm starting to thing you guys need professional help.
/ Fooker: Nah. Tech support's a joke. They just put you on hold. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990204.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, February 5, 1999 | Ki: What's going on here guys ?
/ Nick: Dwayne's trying to convince us it's not normal to code all day at work, then code at home to relax. / Dwayne: Please tell me you don't go home and write programs for fun, Ki.
/ Ki: Heck, no... / Ki: I play computer games until early in the morning.
/ Fooker: Atta Grrl! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990205.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, February 6, 1999 | Dwayne: That's it! You three spend entirely too much time with electronic devices. You need to get out and do some real things instead of virtual ones. / Dwayne: I'm enrolling all of you in this new group at the college. If you don't attend it for at least two weeks, don't plan on picking up any more paychecks.
/ Everyone: ! / Nick: "Code-aholics anonymous."
/ Fooker: Dudes, I think we seriously dereferenced a null pointer here... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990206.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, February 8, 1999 | Nick: I can't believe Dwayne's making us attend this code-aholics anonymous thing...
/ Ki: Well, he did seem genuinely concerned about us. I mean, you can't blame him... / Ki: You guys keep writting programs for fun. You knew he'd finally get suspicious.
/ Fooker: Hey, guys, it looks like every geek in town's here tonight! / Code-aholic: Did your boss threaten to fire you guys if you didn't come, too ?
/ Nick: I think I see a trend forming... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990208.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 9, 1999 | [[Alan Sedgewikki leads the code-aholics run]]
/ Alan: Hi! I'm Alan Sedgewikki, and welcome to code-aholics anonymous! / Alan: You have come here either voluntarily or as part of an employee improvement program to help you appreciate the joys of life without resorting to electronic devices! / Code-aholic: Uh, Mr. Sedgewikki...
/ Alan: Yes, there will be breaks every fifteen minutes so you can check e-mail...
/ Code-aholic: Thank you. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990209.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 10, 1999 | Dexter: Hello. My name's Dexter, and I'm a code-aholic
/ Everyone: Hi, Dexter. / Dexter: My dream was to become head programmer for a park that displayed genetically engineered dinosaurs brought back to life, but then I realized that was impossible, so I gave up on that. / Dexter: Now I just want to be chief O'Brien's assistant on deep space nine and start dating major Kira.
/ Fooker(or Nick): Way to get in touch with reality... Ow, Ki! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990210.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, February 11, 1999 | Randall: M-My name is Randall, and I'm a c-code-aholic.
/ Everyone: Hi, Randall. / Randall: I've been coding for fifteen years now, ever since my folks bought me a tandy coco. I can't stop coding. I-I code at work, I code at home, I code in my sleep. I... I... / Randall: AHK! THE KERNEL DROPPED AGAIN! REBOOT! REBOOT!
/ Fooker: Kewl! Shell shock!
/ Nick: More like system shock... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990211.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, February 12, 1999 | Fooker: My name's Jason, but everyone calls me Fooker. And I guess I'm technically a code-aholic.
/ Everyone: Hi, Fooker. / Fooker: Um, my mom dropped me on my head as a baby... from three stories up. My heroes are Robin Williams and the muppet Gonzo. I accidently put my underwear on backwards this morning. / Alan: Anything you want to tell us about your coding habits, Fooker ?
/ Fooker: Did I mention I have a pet slime mold that talks ? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990212.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, February 13, 1999 | Alan: We want to hear about your coding habits, Fooker. Not your personal problems.
/ Fooker: Oh. Uh, sorry. / Fooker: I'm the sys admin and head programmer at GPF Software. I write programs at home for fun. My boss thinks that's weird, so he sent me here. / Alan: And you don't see anything wrong with that ?
/ Fooker: Not unless you consider I like to code naked. It's quite orgasmic, and you don't want me to go there... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990213.html |
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