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|GPF Archive: Sunday, September 28, 2003||[[Sharon is tied to a chair and is struggling to free herself]] / Sharon: Ngh... got to find a way out of here... / Fred: Psst! / [[Fred is on a box behind Sharon]] / Sharon: Fred! I was wondering where you disappeared to! / Fred: Just laying low while trying to find you. Hold still while I set you free... / [[Fred slimes the ropes binding Sharon's hands]] / Sharon: Ew. Did you have to slime my hands instead of untying them? / Fred: Easy for you to say, Miss Opposable Thumbs. Shh! / [[Fred climbs onto Sharon's left shoulder as Sharon gets up]] / Fred: The brotherhood has called a secret powwow in the big room. / Sharon: I know. We need to find out what they're up to. / Fred: I thought this was the point where you say, "Thanks for freeing me, Fred. Now let's get out of here." / Sharon: Not until I get my questions answered. / Fred: You'd think you humans would learn from the mistakes they keep making in the movies. / Sharon: No one cued the eerie music yet.|
|GPF Archive: Monday, September 29, 2003||[[Sharon and Fred sneak into where the brotherhood are holding their council]]
/ Fred: I still think we should scoot while we still can.
/ Sharon: Pipe down, Fred. Their council has started... / [[Zero One is surrounded be his fellow members of the brotherhood]]
/ Spike-haired brotherhood member: What?! A woman claims to have completed the test in record time, and you think she might be the one? / Zero One: I know this goes against most of our past beliefs, brothers, but she does possess the gift. Only he who shall not be named came closer to fitting the criteria. / [[One Zero hits brotherhood member]]
/ Brotherhood member: He who shall not be named? Do you mean Jas-- OW!
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, September 30, 2003||[[The members of the Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair are holding a meeting]] / Spike-haired brotherhood member: O great Zero One, you have challenged us to open our minds to new ideas in the past, but I'm afraid this is going too far! / Spike-haired brotherhood member: First he who shall not be named, who violated our sacred circle by speaking the name of the great evil, and now suggesting a woman could be the one? / Zero One: But... the signs--! / Spike-haired brotherhood member: You have falsely interpreted them in the past. I say you are unfit to be Zero One, and call a vote of no confidence. / [[Other members of the brotherhood gesture thumbs-down]] / Spike-haired brotherhood member: What do you say, my brothers? / Other brotherhood members: /dev/null|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, October 1, 2003||[[The members of the brotherhood are holding a meeting]]
/ One Zero: I for one believe Zero One may be correct, brothers. We should at least administer the final test to her to be sure. / Spike-haired brotherhood member: You have always been his lapdog, One Zero! I say we call for new leadership before you destroy all the brotherhood stands for! / [[Sharon and Fred watch the meeting]]
/ Fred: Ooh, A coup d'etat. You've turned out to be a regular Helen of Troy...
/ Sharon: Let's get out of here before they break out the -- / [[A canister of gas flies above Sharon and Fred]]
|GPF Archive: Thursday, October 2, 2003||[[A gas canister lands in the middle of the brotherhood's meeting]] / One Zero: Gas? / Spike-haired brotherhood member: Hack! Cough! It's the feds! We've been set up! Koff! / [[RIAA shock troops enter, wearing gas-masks and toting weaponry]] / RIAA trooper: Actually, we're from the RIAA, and we're here to teach you copyright infringing scum to stop file swapping! / [[FBI agent wearing a gas-mask, also toting weaponry, approaches the RIAA trooper]] / FBI agent: Um, actually, we are the feds. FBI. We're here to catch some black hat hacker who defaced the White House web site. / RIAA trooper: Cool. Wanna team up?|
|GPF Archive: Friday, October 3, 2003||[[Sharon and Fred are caught in the cloud of gas]] / Sharon: Hack! Wheeze! Fred! W-where are you? / Fred: Right here. The gas doesn't affect me, but we need to get you out of here. / [[Sharon blindly climbs out a window]] / Fred: This window seems safe. No gun-toting freaks that I see. / Sharon: Cough cough / Sharon: I have to find out what this "the one" business is about... / Fred: Not tonight, Sharon. We have to get you away from incriminating crime scenes... / [[Sharon shakily walks away from the warehouse]] / Sharon: Is this how you (koff) saved Fooker from the brotherhood the last time? / Fred: Um, sure. Why not? Just keep moving...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, October 4, 2003||Narrator: Later that night... / Scott: Who's there? / Tim: It's One Zero. Er, I mean, Tim. / Scott: And... the others? / Tim: Mostly arrested by the FBI. Some scattered, but I'm afraid the Brotherhood has disbanded. / Scott: That doesn't matter. Greg can have the Brotherhood if he wants. It has served its purpose to us, and now we must fulfill our destiny. / Tim: Zero One--I mean, Scott? Are you sure about this? / Scott: Positive. Jason Barker or Sharon Murphy. One or the other MUST be THE ONE... / Narrator. To be continued...|
|GPF Archive: Sunday, October 5, 2003||[[Dexter, Sharon, Dwayne, Fred, Ki, Nick, and Trent are meeting]] / Dwayne: Okay, team, let's get our status for the week... / Nick: Well, the Gilmore project is about 95% complete. Just need to finish the documentation. / Ki: Gotta do a refresh on their table specs, too. I'm doing that today. / Sharon: Quantum Net said they have a planned outage Thursday night, so our servers will be down for two hours. I'll inform the customers. / Dexter: The Dolantech feed is about 15% done. Nick and I still need to discuss requirements, and you and I need to discuss renewing my contract. / Dwayne: I know. / Trent: I've nearly bagged the Taylor deal, and I'm proud to say Goodman Rubber is renewing its contract for another five years. / Dwayne: And Fred? / Fred: No calls to speak of, but whoever is putting the non-dairy creamer in my dumpster has to stop. That stuff gives me gas.|
|GPF Archive: Monday, October 6, 2003||[[Dwayne is talking with Dexter. Sharon is standing by.]]
/ Dwayne: Okay, gang. That wraps things up. Dexter, I need you to stay for a few minutes.
/ Dexter: Um, okay. / [[Sharon squeezes between Dexter and the wall]]
/ Sharon: Will you move so I can at least escape your gravitational pull?
/ Dexter[[angry]]:Well, excuse _me_... / [[Dwayne is standing while Dexter is seated at the table. The door is half-shut. Nick and Ki are eavesdropping with their backs turned.]]
/ Dwayne: Now, Dexter...about your contract... / [[The door, labeled "Conference Room" shuts and locks]]
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, October 7, 2003||[[Nick and Ki talk and walk into Fred's workspace. Fred has his headphones on.]] / Ki: No, you could be right. It doesn't look good at all / Fred: Care to clue me into this conversation? / Ki: Dwayne kept Dexter after the meeting. Since his contract is up for renewal, Nick thinks Dwayne may be letting Dexter go. / [[Fred slips off his stool as Nick and Ki talk]] / Nick: Actually, I hope not. We're doing more business now than before the fire. We need Dexter, if only to fill another-- / Fred: WHOOP! / [[Nick and Ki bend down to the floor and see Fred]] / Nick: Fred? Are you okay? / Fred[[woozy]]: I'll let you know as soon as the room stops spinning.|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, October 8, 2003||[[Nick has picked up Fred]] / Ki: What happened? / Fred: I-I don't know. I just slipped off the stool. / [[Nick suspiciously examines the stool]] / Nick: That's odd. The stool smells like that leather and trim polish you use on cars. / Fred: _And_ that you don't use on seats, because you could slip and lose control. / Ki: Okay, somehow I don't follow where this is going. / Fred: _Trent_. He knew my slime won't stick to that stuff, so he coated my stool with it. / [[Nick and Fred are standing around the corner from Trent's office]] / Nick: What makes you think it was Trent? / Fred: Well, first there's the childish snicker coming from his office... / Trent, off panel: SNK!|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, October 9, 2003||[[Nick carries Fred into the break room with Ki. Sharon is reaching for something]] / Ki: So Trent's been pulling these pranks on you for a while now? / Fred: At least a few weeks. / [[Nick gets some bag lunches out]] / Fred: It started off as little things, but it's steadily getting worse. I'm afraid he's going to pull something dangerous next. / [[Sharon is in the background. Fred's scream startles Ki.]] / Nick: I'm sure it's not as bad as you think, Fred. Perhaps he's... / Fred: AACK! / [[Ki looks shaken. Nick is holding a bottle of Lysol.]] / Ki: What's wrong? / Nick: A bottle of Lysol. / Fred: If I had a heart, I would have had an attack.|
|GPF Archive: Friday, October 10, 2003||[[Dexter comes into the break room looking burdened. Nick is comforting Fred]] / Ki: Hey, Dexter! How did your little meeting with Dwayne go? / Nick[[to Fred]]: Calm down... / [[Ki has her hand on Dexter's back]] / Ki: Dex? Are you okay? / Dexter: Um? Oh, um, sorry, Ki. Just got a lot on my mind. / [[Sharon glares at Dexter, who is in front of the microwave. Ki casts a disapproving glance in her direction]] / Sharon: Sigh... Dexter, will you stop eclipsing the microwave? I don't have time to orbit you. / [[Dexter, his back to Sharon glares, as does Sharon. Ki looks sad]] / Dexter: That does it.|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, October 11, 2003||[[Sharon glares at Dexter, who is also glaring]] / Sharon: Dexter, are you listening to me? / Dexter: No, Sharon. _You_ are going to listen to me. / Dexter: I don't know what your beef with me is, but I'm getting sick and tired of your cracks at my weight. Not everyone can be stick skinny like you. / [[Dexter turns and points at Sharon, who looks startled]] / Dexter: You've been bashing me for months now, but I'm not going to take it anymore. Thanks for making a very hard decision easy for me. / [[Sharon is alarmed]] / Sharon: W-was what I said really _that_ bad? / Ki: Yep. / Fred: Oh yeah / Nick: Uh huh.|
|GPF Archive: Sunday, October 12, 2003||[[Nick and Ki are talking with Sharon, who looks ashamed. Fred is leaning off the table]] / Nick: Sharon, what's your problem with Dex? You've been hard on him for months. / Sharon: I know, I know... / Sharon: Every now and then, I keep flashing back to when we dated and broke up. I try to hold that back, but sometimes it just slips out. / Ki: And thanks to Fooker, he doesn't remember. / [[Sharon looks upset]] / Sharon: I know! I keep reminding mysellf about that! But somehow he just pushes the wrong buttons... / Ki: But why his weight? You were once almost as big as he is. / [[Sharon looks sad]] / Sharon: That's part of the point. I _know_ how dangerous his weight is to his health, since I've been there. I tried to help him lose some once, but that just helped drive us apart. It became an issue... / / [[Sharon starts to walk away]] / Ki: He sounded pretty angry. Maybe you should talk to him before he makes that "hard decision made easy" he mentioned. / Sharon: I know... / [[Nick looks surprised]] / Nick: Sharon... was almost as big as _Dexter_? / Ki: Long time ago. She lost it all because of the diabetes... / Nick: Sharon... has _diabetes_?|
|GPF Archive: Monday, October 13, 2003||[[Fred is in the hallway]]
/ Fred thinks: That Trent has gone too far. Lysol in my lunch bag is equivavlent to a death threat in my book, and I'm not going to take this lying down. / [[Trent's shadow is visible near Fred's]]
/ Fred thinks: Wait a minute... I _know_ that smell. But why would I smell it _here_? Work is not where I'd expect to find? / [[A stream of bleach hits the wall behind Fred]]
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, October 14, 2003||[[Fred and Trent are in a hallway the GPF Software offices. Trent is holding an Ultra Soaker filled with bleach]] / Fred: Grr... That's it! I've had it with your infantile antics, Trent! That thing could have killed me! / Trent: Bah. It's just bleach. / Fred: Just bleach?! To me, it's just as bad as concentrated acid! Your "pranks" are gambling with my life, and I'm not going to take it anymore! / Trent: Oh, yeah? Well, what are you gonna do about it, Slimer? / Fred: I'm going to file a complaint with Dwayne, accusing you of species harassment. / Trent: You have got to be kidding... / Fred: We'll see who's kidding when it comes time for your next raise...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, October 15, 2003||[[Sharon walks to Dwayne at the GPF Software offices]] / Sharon: Oh, Dwayne! Have you seen Dexter? He's not in his office... / Dwayne: Unfortunately, I have. He just left. / Sharon: He left? But it's only lunch time! / Dwayne: I know, but he said he had to swing by his contracting firm. He just quit here at GPF. / Sharon: He what?!? / Dwayne: Well, his contract was up for renewal, so I offered to hire him full time. He said he'd think about it, but I guess he made up his mind. / Sharon: Maybe I can still catch him! Oh, this is all my fault! / Dwayne: Personally, I thought he didn't like the dental plan...|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, October 16, 2003||[[Fred approaches Dwayne in his office. Sharon is leaving]] / Fred: Dwayne, can I have a word with you in private? / Dwayne: Sure, Fred. / Fred: You were very gracious to give me a job, even when I had no qualifications, and everyone has been very accommodating of my unique physical attributes, save one. / Dwayne: Let me guess, Trent? Is he pulling his pranks again? / Fred: I do not call them "pranks." I call them a direct infringement on my right to exist. / Dwayne: That's a pretty harsh statement, Fred. / Fred: Well, if he was shooting a Super Soaker filled with sulfuric acid at you, I'm sure you'd agree...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, October 17, 2003||[[Nick and Ki are in Ki's office at GPF Software]] / Ki: Okay, that takes care of the buyer table. Just need to scan the rest and I'm done. / Nick: Great. Don't forget your documentation. / [[Ki faces Nick]] / Ki: Nick... is our relationship cooling? We haven't had that spark lately that we used to... / Nick: Cooling? No. We have been more comfortable together. / [[Nick sits]] / Nick: We've been a lot busier lately, and just haven't had time to be alone as much. We just need to make time when we can. Any ideas when we can schedule something? / [[Ki sits on Nick's lap]] / Nick: Oookaaay...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, October 18, 2003||[[Nick and Ki are in Ki's office. Ki is sitting on Nick]] / Ki: No scheduling. I think we should make time as it happens. My scans will take an hour, your meeting this afternoon was cancelled... seems we're both free to me. / Nick: Ki, we discussed this. We're going to wait until... you know... / Ki: I know, but who says we can't make out a little? / [[Ki leans into Nick]] / Nick: No. Not here. This is wholly inappropriate. Our work and private lives should be separate, and we must have boundaries. / Ki: Cute little ear needs nibbling... / [[Nick blushes]] / Nick: So we'll go to my office, since it has the door that locks. / Ki: Mmm... knew you'd come around...|
|GPF Archive: Sunday, October 19, 2003||[[Trent enters Dwayne's office]] / Dwayne: Trent, thank you for coming, I need to have a word with you... / Trent: Sure, Big D. / Trent: No need to thank me for the fabulous year of business we've had, but a 20% raise would be appropriate... / Dwayne: This has nothing to do with your performance. / Dwayne: I have received a serious complaint from someone concerning your conduct on the job... / Trent: What?! / Trent: On, that, I can explain. Apparently, she missinterpreted my invitation to a business lunch as a night of passion at the-- / Dwayne: Not that, although we obviously need to come back to it. / Dwayne: One of your coworkers claims you have been harassing them. / Trent: What? I may have made a pass at the red head once, but... / [[Fred stands up]] / Trent: Oh, you mean the mold. You don't seriously trust an unimportant blob of lime Jell-o... / Fred: See? I told you! / Dwayne: Fred...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, October 20, 2003||[[Sharon runs out of the GPF offices to Dexter, who is unlocking his car]] / Sharon: Dexter! Wait! / Dexter: Sorry, Sharon, but I don't have time for one more insult before I go... / Sharon: No, no! I came to apologize! / Sharon: Dexter, I'm really sorry about all the digs I made about your weight. It's all about old insecurities of my own, and they shouldn't have been redirected at you. / Dexter: Yeah, right. Like little tiny you was ever as big as me... / Sharon: I have pictures, with a wide-angle lens, even!|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, October 21, 2003||[[Sharon and Dexter are sitting on the curb by the parking lot at GPF. Dexter is holding an old picture of Sharon]] / Dexter: So... you're diabetic and you lost all this to get healthy? / Sharon: I had to. If I didn't they said I was at serious risk of kidney failure... / Dexter: Wow... my doctor warns me about stuff like that periodically. / Sharon: I know. And my backlash at you is more out of concern than malice. I've been there... / Dexter: Well, it's a funny way to show concern, but I understand. Heh... ya know, this all seems vaguely familiar, it's weird, but you know me so well, it's almost like we dated once... / Dexter: Wait a minute... / Sharon: (thinking) Uh oh.|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, October 22, 2003||[[Trent and Fred are in Dwayne's office]] / Trent: Aw, c'mon! You don't seriously believe what that thing is saying! / Fred: "That thing" should not be discussed in the third person when it's present. / Dwayne: Okay, calm down, both of you. Obviously, we have a conflict that needs resolved. Trent, your pranks have to stop. Some of them have been very hazardous to Fred's health. / Trent: Sheesh, Dwayne. Look what we're talking about. It's a slime mold. It came out of some slob's messy apartment. That blob could use a good bath in bleach before we all die of food poisoning. / Fred: You want botulism, Pinocchio? I'll show you botulism! / Trent: See? It's out to get us! / Dwayne: Stop it! Both of you!|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, October 23, 2003||[[Trent and Fred are in Dwayne's office]] / Dwayne: Okay, that's enough! We obviously need to establish a few rules when it comes to you two. / Trent: Let me tell you what's obvious, Dwayne... / Trent: Everyone dances around, acting like this piece of filth is one of us. Well, it isn't. It's a parasite that learned how to talk somehow, and now it thinks it can be treated like the rest of us. / Trent: Well, let me make one thing clear: it's not human. It has no rights, no civil liberties. It belongs with its own kind, not us. It should not have a job, working beside humans. It does not belong here! / Dwayne: Yes, Trent. I believe you made your stance perfectly clear... / Trent: Ya know, I just thought of an unfortunate analogy that isn't going to help me here...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, October 24, 2003||[[Sharon and Dexter are standing outside GPF Software]] / Dexter: You do seem to know me better than Nick or Ki, even though I thought we only met last year. / Sharon: Um, Dex, maybe we should go back in... / Dexter: Yet somehow, I recall seeing you at a Star Trek con... but it was like we went together. / Sharon: Brr! It's chilly out! Let's get back to work! / Dexter: No! We did date! I remember now! And we had a messy break-up! And I remember fighting some big fat guy in New York, and-- / Sharon: Dwayne's gonna be mad, so we better-- / Dexter: Holy crap! Fooker's a secret agent! / Sharon: Holy crap is right...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, October 25, 2003||[[Sharon and Dexter are standing outside GPF Software]] / Dexter: Fooker is a secret agent, and he mind-wiped me so his cover wouldn't be blown! / Sharon: And to protect you, Dex! Let's talk about this inside... / Dexter: And you obviously knew about it, and led me along. And the whole Megan Morrone thing was a ploy to keep me from remembering our dating! / Sharon: Dex, please... / Sharon: Fooker mind wiped you for some very good reasons, so don't be angry. I didn't want to deceive you, but it was for your own good. I'll try to explain, but just please don't quit working here! / Dexter: Well... okay. But I get to strangle that goatee off Fooker's face when I see him again... / Sharon: Trust me, you'll have to stand in line...|
|GPF Archive: Sunday, October 26, 2003||[[Trent angrily exits Dwayne's office as Fred watches from outside the office]] / [[Fred enters Dwayne's office]] / Fred: Is it safe to come in now? / Dwayne: Yes, Fred. I've talked with Trent and given him a stern warning not to bother you again. / Fred: A warning? That's it? / Dwayne: This is his first offense. If we continue to have problems, I'll pursue stronger disciplinary actions. / [[Dwayne pulls out the employee handbook]] / Fred: He actively tried to kill me! / Dwayne: He didn't know his actions were so dangerous to you. Besides, I followed the rules I set in the employee handbook. / [[Fred takes the handbook]] / Fred: Let me see that... / Dwayne: Everyone gets a chance to straighten up and fly right. I can arrange for you two not to have contact if you're uncomfortable. / [[Fred reads the handbook]] / Fred: Well... okay. But about this line that says "No one will be discriminated against on the basis of race, color, sex, ethnic background, sexual orientation..." I see no provision for species... / Dwayne: Guess I'll have to revise that...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, October 27, 2003||[[Sharon and Dexter enter GPF Software]] / Sharon: So... are we okay now? / Dexter: I... think so. I'm still sorting out real memories from implanted ones... / Sharon: I know our break up has come crashing back now, but I think we've come a long way as friends this year, and I'd hate to lose that... / Dexter: I agree. The past is the past. / Sharon: And your obsession with Megan Morrone? / Dexter: Implanted by Fooker to keep me away from you. I think I have that under control. / Sharon: Good. I'm glad that's out of the way... / Dexter: Now Jessica Corbin or Morgan Webb... they could save my screen any day...|
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