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| GPF Archive: Sunday, November 21, 2004 | Nicole: I've got another consultation with Fred, dear. Are you going to be okay watching Sydney?
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041121.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 22, 2004 | Dwayne: Okay, Sid. Daddy needs to balance the checkbook. So while he does boring adult stuff, do you wanna watch TV?
/ Sydney: YEAH! / Dwayne: So what do you want to watch?
/ Sydney: SpongeBob!
/ Dwayne: Honey, that's all you ever watch. Don't you want--
/ Sydney: SPONGEBOB! / Dwayne: Okay, let's see if it's on... Um, sorry, sweetie, but SpongeBob doesn't come on for another three hours...
/ Sydney: S'okay, Daddy. I recorded it! / Dwayne: Recorded...? Since when did you learn to program the VCR? You can't even reach the tape cabinet!
/ Sydney: Silly Daddy! TiVo doesn't USE tapes! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041122.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 | Dwayne: Let me get this straight... YOU programmed the TiVo to record SpongeBob?
/ Sydney: [[pressing remote]] < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041123.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 | Dwayne: What ELSE have you learned to do?
/ Sydney: I set tha clock on tha answ'rin' machine an' Mommy caught me makin' popcorn in tha mikeywave. / Sydney: Then Mommy couldn't find her fav'rite CD, so I showed her how ta use tha disc changer in tha stereo. I'm gonna make my own movies with tha camcorderer next. / Dwayne: I... didn't know you were so technically adept...
/ Sydney: I blame all tha edumacational toys you got me. / Dwayne: Say... I can't talk YOU into balancing the checkbook...?
/ Sydney: Do I LOOK like Patrick Star? I'm not THAT stupid... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041124.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, November 25, 2004 | Dwayne: You're growing up faster than I thought...
/ Sydney: Mommy said kids these days mature faster than they used ta. / Dwayne: True, but you're only three, kiddo. You've got a long ways to go.
/ Sydney: I can still plan ahead. I gots your orgamizational skills, Daddy. / Dwayne: It's okay to plan, Sid, but you have to take time to just be a kid! Next thing you know, you'll have school, chores, a job, responsibilities, a family...
/ Sydney: I'm working' on that. / Dwayne: Please don't tell me you already have a BOYFRIEND!
/ Sydney: Silly Daddy! I'll do THAT in kindergafen. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041125.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 26, 2004 | Dwayne: Ugh... You're gonna give Daddy premature gray hair, Sydney...
/ Sydney: But you already GOT some here... / Dwayne: You're very smart, my little princess. Maybe a little TOO smart. But you shouldn't try to grow up too fast. There's lots of great things about being a kid, and I don't want you to miss them. / Sydney: It's okay, Daddy. I don't WANNA grow up too fast. But I wanna make tha best use of my kid time. I wanna be like the smartest person I know.
/ Dwayne: Who's that? / Sydney: [[hugs Dwayne]] My daddy! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041126.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, November 27, 2004 | Nicole: I'm back! What are you doing?
/ Dwayne: I'm resetting the pass codes on the TiVo and DVD player. / Dwayne: Since Sydney figured out how to program them, I'm setting the code to something more complex -- the Fibonacci sequence -- to make it harder to guess. / Nicole: Is that really necessary? Even I don't know what that means.
/ Dwayne: Precisely! Our girl proved to me today that she's smart. We just have to stay a step ahead of her. / Sydney: Daddy, did you know Google found 426,000 entries for Fibonacci?
/ Nicole: Sounds like one giant leap back for parentkind... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041127.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, November 28, 2004 | [[Dwayne, Nicole, Sydney, Fooker, Sharon, Dexter, Nick, and Ki are leaving the Bowl-A-Rama bowling alley.]] / Dwayne: That was a lot of fun, gang! Dex, this was a great idea. We needed a good team outing to relax. / Dwayne: And Fooker, I hear your contract is almost up. We'll need you back soon...
/ Nicole: Dexter, can you hold Sydney while I fix her car seat?
/ Dexter: Sure. / [[Dexter holds Sydney.]]
/ Sydney: Mr. Dexter, how come you ain't got nobody with you?
/ Dexter: What do you mean, Sydney? / Sydney: Well, Mr. Nick an' Miss Ki are gettin' married, an' Miss Sharon really likes Fooker. Even Mommy an' Daddy got each other. Ain't you got anybody, Mr. Dexter? / Dexter: Um... Well, I'm still looking for the right Mrs. Dexter. I'm sure she'll show up someday. Until she does, I'll keep looking for her. / [[Sydney hugs Dexter, Dexter smiles awkwardly, Sharon looks sadly at Dexter.]]
/ Sydney: _I'll_ be there for you! You're squishy like a big ol' teddy bear!
/ Dexter: Your dad may want you to graduate preschool first... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041128.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 29, 2004 | [[Sharon and Ki carrying food in a cafeteria]]
/ Sharon: I've been thinking about Dexter a lot lately...
/ Ki: Not too deeply, I hope. / Sharon: Have you noticed he's become our "Fifth Wheel" lately? When we go out to do fun stuff, it's always "Nick & Ki," "Sharon & Fooker," ... and Dexter. The poor guy's all alone. / Ki: I thought Fred was tutoring him on dating or something...
/ Sharon: He was, but that failed miserably. He's completely given up. We need to help him find someone. / [[Sharon and Ki reach a table where Fooker and Nick sit.]]
/ Sharon: DEXTER NEEDS WOMEN!
/ Fooker: Okay, but I'm not sharin' ...
/ Nick: You're not Ki, either. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041129.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 | [[Sharon, Ki, Fooker, and Nick sit at a table eating.]]
/ Sharon: I'm serious, guys! I think we should pool our resources and try to help Dexter find a girlfriend. / Nick: Are you sure we should really get involved? He hasn't asked for our help.
/ Sharon: Of course he hasn't! Dex is too shy for that. We need to take the initiative. / Fooker: I don't know, Sharon. Geek love is one of those rare, mystical things that can't be predicted. You can't force it along.
/ Sharon: Of course not. But we can give it a nudge. / Ki: Of course, in Dex's case, a "nudge" would involve all four of us pushing 'til we got hernias, and that's not a crack at his weight. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041130.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 1, 2004 | Sharon: That's not exactly fair, Ki...
/ Ki: Fair, no. But true, and you know it. / Ki: Let's be blunt. Ignoring our current boyfriends for a few moments, we've both dated Dexter. And you know better than I do that he's very high maintenance. / Ki: Now any girl we set him up with is going to find that out sooner or later, and they might not be willing knowing that up-front.
/ Sharon: But he's grown! He's come so far since then! / Sharon: Guys, back me up here. Hasn't Dex grown since we've gotten to know him?
/ Fooker: Did you hear something, Nick? I thought I heard someone who ignores us talking... [[Fooker looks angry, Nick covers his face with his hand.]] http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041201.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 2, 2004 | [[Ki, Sharon, Fooker, and Nick are sitting around a table, discussing Dexter]]
/ Sharon: Seriously, I think if we can just get his confidence back up, he'll be back on the dating scene in no time.
/ Nick: Just who could we set him up with? / Sharon: What about that girl you were telling me about from Regional?
/ Fooker: Who, Amy? I'm not sure a mattress with hair is exactly Dexter's type... / Sharon: No, not her. The other one, who hangs around with the two guys always stalking you...
/ Fooker: Oh, Patty! Eh, maybe. But she's sharp, in more ways than one. Dex would need to be on his toes. / Nick: Wait a sec... two guys stalking you?
/ Fooker: Yeah, they seem to follow me around, watching me. Guess they don't have enough work to do... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041202.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 3, 2004 | Nick: What about that girl from upstairs at Magitek? I've never seen her with a guy.
/ Sharon: I think that's because she's not interested in guys, though... / Ki: Well, there IS one girl we know who is unattached and desperate for attention herself...
/ Nick: Oh, no you don't. We're NOT getting TRISH involved in this... / Ki: Okay, so she's a bit ODD. But we ALL are in some fashion. She's a GEEK. And she's female and available.
/ Nick: And when they first met, she dropped Dex at the city dump with no memories of that night. / Fooker: I guess if you're gonna DUMP him, that's the place to do it.
/ Nick: He'd just REFUSE her offer anyway.
/ Fooker: What a WASTE.
/ Ki: Are you done? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041203.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 4, 2004 | [[Fooker approaches Patty by the coffee pot at Regional Telecom]]
/ Fooker: Hey, um, Patty? Can I talk with you for a minute?
/ Patty: Sure, Jason. What's up? / Fooker: Where's the dynamic duo?
/ Patty: Oh, Tweedledum and Tweedledumber are laying cable at another office. Is this about them? I shouldn't really be talking about it if it is... / Fooker: Actually, no. I have this friend, and...
/ Patty: Oh, I get it. Your desperate pal is hard up for a date, so you think since I'm happily single I'll take pity on him. Am I close? / Fooker: I'll up your disk quota to 100GB...
/ Patty: Fine. As long as I don't have to wear a dress.
/ Fooker: 250.
/ Patty: Darnit. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041204.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, December 5, 2004 | [[Fred the slime mold and Dexter Smith are talking. Dexter is tying his tie.]]
/ Fred: I don't see why you wanted me to coach you on dating again, Dexter, but I appreciate the break from my legal research...
/ Dexter: No, thank you, Fred. I appreciate your advice. / Dexter: How is the lawsuit coming?
/ Fred: We've got a date. Nicole and I are working on my defense. We just need to figure out our strategy. Meanwhile, Trent's as annoying as ever. / Fred: I still don't see what good I'll be in "prepping" you, Dex, especially considering the last time...
/ Dexter: I need moral support, Fred. And I think you did great. I screwed up last time. / Dexter: Besides, with everyone else meeting me there, I don't have anyone to turn to beforehand to get my confidence up. I need a pre-game pep rally to warm up. / [[Dexter starts to open door.]]
/ Dexter: I mean, my self-esteem as been pretty low lately, I keep fearing something is going to go horribly wrong... Aw, who am I kidding? / [[Door opens; Trish is there. Dexter is shocked.]]
/ Dexter: Undoubtedly myself.
/ Trish: Hi! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041205.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 6, 2004 | Dexter: [[does a double-take]] Um, Trish? What are YOU doing here?
/ Trish: Oh, Dexter, you big silly! I'm your DATE! / Trish: Ki called me up and told me the gang was setting you up on a blind date, and asked if I would go with you. I was a little reluctant given our, um, HISTORY, but I wanted to give it another try. / Dexter: "Our HISTORY?" You mean how you were "desparate" after Nick spurned you, so you picked me up, then later left me at the city dump with no memories of it?
/ Trish: [[looks sheepish]] Um, yeah. / Dexter: Sigh... Well, maybe I AM that desperate...
/ Trish: I'm on medication! I promice "Naughty Trish" won't return unless you get REALLY lucky! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041206.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 7, 2004 | [[Trish and Dexter are going on a date]]
/ Trish: So where does my big hunk of a date want to go and eat?
/ Dexter: We're supposed to meet everybody at this fondue place Sharon found. / Trish: MEET them? So this is a DOUBLE date?
/ Dexter: Triple, actually. And I'm surprised, because I thought I was supposed to meet YOU there too. / Trish: Oh, THAT. Guess I forgot. Say! Why don't we ditch them and go somewhere else on our own?
/ Dexter: Forgive me, but I think it might be in both our best interests to do the triple date thing for now. / Trish (thought bubble): But I can't brainwash and reprogram you to help me get into Nick's lab with them around, you great tub of lard! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041207.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 8, 2004 | [[Dexter and Trish approach the entrance to Fondue For You]]
/ Trish: Are you *sure* you want to eat *here*? I ... heard this place had a poor sanitation rating...
/ Dexter: But Sharon said this place was *great*... / [[Ki, Nick, Fooker, Sharon and Patty are sitting at a table in the restaurant]]
/ Nick, to Ki: Why is this place so expensive when they make you cook your own food?
/ Ki: Some people spend money on things other than technology, dear...
/ Sharon, to Patty: Dexter can be a very sweet guy, Patty. I think you two will get along great.
/ Patty: Well, if he's a no-show, the Blonde Wonder over there [[Fooker]] is paying my bill... / [[Dexter and Trish approach the others]]
/ Dexter: Hi guys! We're here!
/ Patty: Great. If I knew we were allowed warm-up dates, I wouldn't have left my Chippendale at home... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041208.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 9, 2004 | Nick: Trish?! What are _you_ doing here?
/ Trish: I'm Dexter's date, silly! / Patty: Well, I guess that means _my_ evening has come to a screeching halt...
/ Sharon: No, wait, Patty! It's just a little mix-up. / Sharon: Dex, we brought Patty here to be your date.
/ Dexter: But Trish said--
/ Trish: Oh, my! What a funny mess this is! / Trish: Well, there's plenty of Dexter to share!
/ Patty: You sure he doesn't need a _third_ girl? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041209.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 10, 2004 | [[Trish and Patty at the restaurant]]
/ Trish: So your name is Patty? I'll bet that's short for Patricia! We share the same name!
/ Patty: What an astounding observation. / Trish: Do you work in I/T too? Considering this crowd, that would be no big surprise!
/ Patty: Your deductive reasoning is underwhelming... / Trish: Well, if we're competing for Dexter's affections, I just like to know what my opponent is like!
/ Patty: Trust me, you don't need to worry much about _that_. / Trish: Good. I _thought_ I had you pegged for a facile adversary. No competition here...
/ Patty: I may not express much interest, but _no one_ calls me a pushover... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041210.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 11, 2004 | Nick: How did Trish find out about Dexter's date?
/ Ki: I may have mentioned it when I ran into her earlier, but I certainly didn't imply _this_. / Nick: This bodes not well.
/ Fooker: I'll say. Patty isn't someone I'd want to make mad, and I'll bet she's hotter than an over-clocked Athlon right now... / Sharon: But what about poor Dexter? He's caught in the middle of this. I'd hate to see what pain is going through his mind right now... / Dexter: I'm on a date... with not one... but _two_ beautiful women... right _now_! In your face, Nick! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041211.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, December 12, 2004 | {{The Trish in this comic is the "evil" Trish}} / [[Together with Ki, Sharon, Fooker and Nick, Dexter is sitting between Patty and Trish, very cramped in a fancy restaurant booth, other guests are vaguely visible in the background. A waiter is tending to them]]
/ Waiter: I'm sorry to bother you, but since you're so cramped in this booth, would some of you like to move over here for more space?
/ Dexter: Um, sure. I guess we can move... / [[At the new table, Patty has already taken her place. While Dexter speaks, Trish zooms into Dexter's intended seat, blocking off and pushing away Patty. Trish is smiling very unnatural. Patty looks very annoyed]]
/ Dexter: Should I sit in the middle, or...
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041212.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 13, 2004 | {{The Trish in this comic is the "evil" Trish}} / [[Patty is getting up and leaving, Dexter looking at her. Apperantly oblivious (yeah right), a cheery Trish is still trying to distract Dexter with the dessert menu]]
/ Trish: I think we should try this one! It's en flambé!
/ Dexter: Patty? Where are you going? / [[Close-up of Patty, talking to Dexter. Dexter is only partially in the panel, seen from the rear. In the background, the shapes of Nick and Ki are looking at the situation unfolding]]
/ Patty: Look, this isn't going to work. Obviously SOMEONE is getting more out of this date tahn I am, so I think I should just leave. / [[Shot of the booth, with an almost triumphantly glowing Trish sitting center-panel, a saddened Dexter next to her]]
/ Trish: Well, now! I guess that means there's more for us to share! / [[Dexter's arm is all we see as he rushes after Patty, leaving a stunned Trish behind]]
/ Dexter: Patty, wait! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041213.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 14, 2004 | [[Dexter is following Patty through the restaurant. He is looking sad and apologizing to her. Patty's back is turned to Dexter as she walks away. Nameless restaurant-guests are in the background]]
/ Dexter: Patty, I'm really sorry about Trish. She wasn't even supposed to be here...
/ Patty: No, she's only PART of the problem... / [[Close-up shot of Patty, with Dexter behind her. Patty is looking away from Dexter. More nameless guest-shapes in the background]]
/ Patty: Look, Dexter... I'm sure you're a really nice guy, but I'm not really into this. It's not you; It's me. And I wish that didn't sound as corny as it just did. / [[Focus shot of Patty against a completely blank background. Patty is looking apologetically]]
/ Patty: I came as a favor to Jason. But I'm... I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. To lead you on would be a disservice to YOU, as well as to put me somewhere I'm not ready to go back to just yet. / [[Patty is leaving the restaurant, talking over her shoulder to Dexter. Only the rear of Dexter is partially visible, head and shoulders hanging down in defeat]]
/ Patty: I'm sorry, Dexter. You are a friend of Jason's, so maybe we can be friends some day. But THIS... just isn't what I'm up to yet. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041214.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 15, 2004 | {{The Trish in this comic is the "evil" Trish}} / [[We see Dexter looking sad and defeated, turned away from the exit where Patty is leaving, only her back visible]] / [[Trish is looking angrily at Dexter, putting on her coat. The vague forms of Nick and Ki are visible in the background]]
/ Trish: Well, now I see just how important _I_ am to you. Leave ME at the table while you go chasing after HER! Hmpf! / [[Dexter is looking angrily at Trish's turned back as she leaves]]
/ Trish: You may have started this date off with TWO women, but it looks like you'll end it with NONE. By the way, I DON'T do Dutch. / [[Dexter grasps his face with his hand in defeat and sadness. In the rear Nick and Ki are looking sympathetically at Dexter]] http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041215.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 16, 2004 | [[Ki is holding a depressed Dexter's arm as she leans over to him to comfort him at his table. Fooker is also visible in the rear]]
/ Ki: Dexter... We're really sorry about this...
/ Dexter: Don't be. You guys were just trying to help. / [[side-shot of a sympathetic Nick looking down to Dexter]]
/ Nick: Is there anything we can do for you?
/ Dexter: Nah. I think I... just want to be alone for a while... / [[Close-up of depressed Dexter at his empty table. In the rear we see Sharon and Fooker leaving, Sharon looking back sadly]] / [[Another close-up of a sad Dexter. However, a wide, begoggled female head pops up over the bench to the next booth]] http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041216.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 17, 2004 | [[Dexter is hanging over his table, his head resting on his folded arms. A waiter is tending to him, and we only just see a corner of the mysterious head from the previous comic still peering over the bench]]
/ Waiter: Can I get you anything else, sir?
/ Dexter: Just start at the top of the dessert menu and keep 'em coming until I explode. / [[The mysterious head now comes up fully behind Dexter, unveiling herself to be Lynn. Lynn looks genuinly happy to see Dexter]]
/ Lynn: Dexter?
/ Lynn: Dexter! Hi! It's me, Lynn! Remember me? From the speed dating place? / [[Shot of Dexter from over Lynn's shoulder. Dexter is casting her a very intense, cold "Go away, I'm not in the mood" look]]
/ Dexter: Oh, yes. Quite distinctly. You broke off our second date by announcing your quickie wedding in Vegas. What are YOU doing here? / [[Frontal shot of Dexter with his "not in the mood" gaze, his back turned to Lynn. Lynn has folded her arms on the bench, and rests her chin on it.]]
/ Lynn: Drowning my sorrows in chocolate. My former Swedish bodybuilder left me for a Norwegian bikini model. How SHALLOW can that get? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041217.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 18, 2004 | Dexter: I don't think YOU have any place calling ANYONE shallow, Lynn.
/ Lynn: I know, and that's why I'm so glad I ran into you. / Lynn: Ever since I snubbed you, I've felt terrible and guilty. And the irony of my divorce certainly wasn't lost on me. I passed up a chance to get to know YOU better, the only person I've ever clicked with. / Dexter: You'll forgive me if I'm a little leery of women tonight.
/ Lynn: I... overheard. I'm sorry. Is it okay if we just share a dessert as friends. / Dexter: Well... we'll share it as fellow miserable people and see if "friends" becomes a more appropriate term...
/ [[Lynn smiles]]
/ {{The end?}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041218.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, December 19, 2004 | [[Sharon and Fooker are walking past an office building. Snow covers the ground and coats ledges on the building and surrounding shrubbery, but the sidewalk is clear. As Fooker and Sharon speak, their breath condenses.]]
/ Fooker: So this is GPF's new digs, huh?
/ Sharon: Yep! We're on the second floor. / Fooker: Looks kewl. Looks like you actually have more space than the old place...
/ Sharon: Dwayne's talking about renting the fourth floor when you come back... / < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041219.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 20, 2004 | Sharon: That wasn't funny, Fleuel.
/ Fleuel: Seemed awfully funny to me. Right, Sato?
/ Sato: Firewall! Heh! / Sato: We are just scanning your ports for vulnerabilities!
/ Fleuel: Looks like your finger port's open. We fingered you as an easy target! / Fooker: Just ignore them, Sharon...
/ Sato: We'll ping-flood you with ice packets!
/ Fleuel: It's a Denial of Dignity attack! / Patel: Your traceroute will time out from our blocked router of DOOM!
/ Fleuel: Patel, dude. We SERIOUSLY need to get your humor module debugged. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20041220.html |
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