You're browsing the archives of General Protection Fault.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 16, 2005 | [[Nick sitting in the MUTEX, helmet on]]
/ Narration: Theorizing that one could transverse parallel dimensions in the comic world, Nicholas Wellington plugged into the MUTEX . . . and vanished. / [[Nick looks into a mirror to see the reflection is of Torg from Sluggy Freelance]]
/ He woke to find himself trapped in other comics, facing mirror images that were not his own. / [[Nick is now Zortic from the comic by the same name, standing next to Zoie]]
/ And driven by an unknown force to change plots and character development for the better. / [[Nick is now Tedd from El Goonish Shive, sitting on Tedd's favorite couch, Grace's head leaning on his shoulder, a hologram of Fred on his other shoulder]]
/ Narrator: His only guide on his journey is Fred, an observer from his own dimension, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Nick can see and hear. / [[Four panels in succession, with Nick appearing as different characters, in the order of: Gav from Nukees, Alex from Help Desk, Warren from Absurd Notions, and Monica from Wapsi Square]]
/ And so Wellington finds himself jumping from comic to comic, striving to put right what was wrong and hoping each time that his next jump will be the jump home. / [[Nick "leaps" into the body of Ralphie from Melonpool]]
/ Melonpool: Ralphie! Your older self just showed up in the V.W. bug!
/ Nick: Oh boy... / [[Title Screen, with fonts very similar to "Quantum Leap"]]
/ Quantum Geek
/ Created by JEFFREY T. DARLINGTON / [[Nick stands in a plaid shirt with a T-shirt underneath, waving his hand with little blue sparkles dancing around his fingers]]
/ Starring MAX JENIUS / [[Holo-Fred sits on a window sill with a hat on his "head" and a "Ziggy remote" in his "hand"]]
/ Starring DOUG "LIMAX" JONES / [[A Bedroom, Jeff Darlington sits up with a woman (presumably Jeff's wife) lying next to him with her head on a pillow]]
/ Jeff: GAH!
/ Woman: Hun, were you dreaming about GPF again? / [[Side profile Jeff with bedroom window in background]]
/ Jeff: Ugh. Yeah. Parodies, mostly. It's as if someone else is giving me new ideas to use. / [[Image of Gamester at a drawing desk sketching the previous panel]] / {{Guest strip by "Unit Squared"}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051116.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, November 17, 2005 | CA-CAW!
/ GAH! / Oh. It's you, Fred.
/ Pretty good, huh? I bet I could even fly in this form!
/ I'm pretty sure you can't. / Oh yeah? Watch this! / ...Told you...
/ Ew! Did someone throw up?!
/ This has not been one of my finer moments... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051117.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 18, 2005 | Fooker: Have you been here at work all night?
/ Nick: Uh, yeah... I was... um defragging my... uh... buffer. / Fooker: "Defragging your buffer?"
/ Nick: Erm... I mean, I had to re-install Linus. / Fooker: You had to WHAT?!
/ Nick: My data processor needed a new widget and I had to... reboot... / Fooker: You got a MAC, didn't you?
/ Nick [sobbing]: I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051118.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, November 19, 2005 | Trudy
/ Dwayne
/ Fooker
/ Ki
/ Nick http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051119.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, November 20, 2005 | To Thine Own Self...: Chapter One
/ I can't believe it! Your wedding is in only a few days! This is so exciting!
/ Trust me, I know. / So we're going to pick up your family, drop your dad and brother at the hotel, and we and your mom will head to the church. Is that right?
/ Yeah. And as soon as Lori and Nick's mom reach town, they'll join us. / I can't believe you're this calm! I'd be a nervous wreck by now!
/ Oh, I am nervous. I'm just too busy and overwhelmed to show it. / Mama! Papa! Welcome!
/ Aiya! so this is Sharon we hear so much about! / The ticket says "meal," written in plain English. What do we get? Cheese and crackers! That is no meal! and in-flight movie? "Herbie: Fully Loaded!" I will tell you what that car is loaded full of... / I see Dad's in a good mood this afternoon...
/ His doctor says he need more fiber in his diet...
/ Peanuts give me wind! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051120.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 21, 2005 | Um, haven't you two forgotten something?
/ Impossible. She packed virtually the entire house. There is nothing left to forget. / What about Yoshi?
/ Oh, I am sorry. I forgot to tell you. He has major paper due next week. Senior project. He will fly in day before wedding. / I thought you said he was only 15. He's already a high school senior?
/ College senior. He'll start his masters degree next semester. Told you he was smart. / Not smart enough. He waited until the last minute to start this project worth half his grade.
/ They say laziness is one of the virtues of a good programmer. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051121.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 | So Nick's not meeting us at the gate?
/ No he said he had to pick up some flowers and run them by the church. / So are we supposed to get a taxi or something?
/ He said his friend would give us a ride to the hotel. / Which friend is that?
/ In Nick's words: "You'll know him when you see him." / Then that must be him.
/ You think?
/ Wellington http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051122.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 23, 2005 | Hola, Senor and Senora Wellington! I'm Jason, but all my pals call me Fooker. I'm your son's best man and your chauffeur for today. / Such an... interesting nickname you have there.
/ It's a long story involving metasyntactic variables, a fish, and copious amounts of alcohol. It's best left to ancient history. / But your chariot awaits to whisk you away to your h0tel and eventually to the church.
/ Is that your car? It seems nicer than what Nick described. / Actually, this is my girlfriend's. For some reason, she refused to let me pick you up in my car. I mean, it still has four wheels and a motor. That's all we really need, right? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051123.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, November 24, 2005 | Hey, Fooker! I assume you got Mom and Dad here safe and sound?
/ Yeah, but you could have warned me. / Warned you? About what?
/ That your dad's a cop! He wrote me three tickets for speeding, running a stop sign, and an unsafe lane change. / You do realize he's out of his jurisdiction and these are mainly a big joke, right?
/ I do now, but I've got a good head of steam brewing. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051124.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, November 25, 2005 | This is the part I'm dreading, Sharon...
/ Decorating the church?
/ No! The meeting of the mothers! / They've never met. They come from such different backgrounds. They have aboslutely nothing in common save that their child is marrying into a totally unknown family. / I know Mrs. Wellington has been so nice to me, but how will she react to my mom? and Mama's usually so sweet, but she has a fiery tempter. What if... if they...?
/ Get introduced by Nick while you ramble on? / I seriously doubt there's going to be any explosions...
/ Still you're just tall enough to be an effective blast shield. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051125.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, November 26, 2005 | I like how you're keeping things simple, Ki. It sure makes decorating quicker and easier. / Well, I thought that since this church is so pretty on its own, why add too much to it? And Nick and I want the ceremony itself to be the centerpiece, not the decorations. / Where are the guys? I thought some of them were supposed to be helping us...
/ I set them to a task that will keep them out of our hair... / So now that we've run the ethernet, this machine will act as the central hub for all streaming audio and video to the Web. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051126.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, November 27, 2005 | Well, that's most of the decorations. Anything that's left we'll handle after the rehearsal tomorrow.
/ Ooh! Ooh! Ki! / I know this is somewhat last minute, but can I be one of your bridesmaids?
/ Um, Persephone, usually it's the bride that asks, not the other way around. And I've already got three bridesmaids. / Sharon's my maid of honor, and Nicole and Nick's sister are the others. If we added you, the party would be uneven.
/ I thought Fred was going to be a groomsman... / I think Nick offered, but he wanted to maintain a low profile to avoid the paparazzi.
/ Then can I be the flower girl? / I'm sorry, but I've already asked Sydney to be our flower girl.
/ But... but I so much wanted to be a part of your wedding... / Perseffome can be my co-flower girl if she wants to!
/ Ooh! Can I? Can I?
/ Something tells me you should jump at this compromise. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051127.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, November 28, 2005 | I guess that pretty much finishes things here tonight...
/ Um, not quite... / That was Lori on the phone. Someone stole her car today, so she can't drive in tonight. And since the airport there is closed while the runway is being repaired, she can't get a flight out. / She's trying to find out if there are any buses she can catch, but she isn't very hopeful.
/ Oh, no! This is terrible! What if she can't get here in time? / Where are we going to find a replacement bridesmaid this late?
/ Why have I suddenly developed an urge to flee in terror? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051128.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 | Look, Ki, I'm very sorry, but I can't be a bridesmaid. It's a really long story, but I don't "do" weddings. I'll help set up and tear down, but I... I can't be here. Really. / Well, it looks like Persephone will get her chance...
/ I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't think the molds would have worked in the party. I wanter her to stay with Sydney. / Then who in the world are you going to find at the last minute to fill in in case Lori doesn't make it? / Hello? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051129.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 30, 2005 | Why, no, it's not a bad time! I just walked in the door. What can I do for you? / They stole her car? How terrible! Will she make it in in time for the wedding...? What are you going to do to find a replacement? / Oh, my! Ki, I'd be honored! Yes, I understand I'm a "fill-in." If Lori shows up, I'll step aside. Yes, I think I saw that gown at the shop. And I think they may even have it in my size. I'll check first thing in the morning. Right. See you there! / Too bad Lori's car is now at the bottom of a lake. I guess now she won't be needing these keys, poor dear... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051130.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 1, 2005 | So when are you going to tell Nick that you just asked Trish to be Lori's replacement bridesmaid?
/ Um, well, the rehearsal's tomorrow... / Ki, you know Nick doesn't like or trust Trish! He's not going to like this...
/ I know, but who else are we going to ask? Mercedes de la Croix? One of the moms? / Nick will understand once I explain all the details. And just to be certain, I'll make sure he gets plenty of chocolate before I tell him. He's always easier to convince with a chocolate bribe. / I don't know... he likes chocolate more than any woman I know, but I think you'll need it extra dark this time...
/ Did someone say dark chocolate? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051201.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 2, 2005 | Station, Gemini: Is the farmer in the dell?
/ A/V control center is online and ready to go! / Stations Posiedon: Does the River Styx flow onward ot Hades?
/ Aye, aye captain! We are live on the Web with broadband speed! / Station Gotham: Ever danced with the Devil by the pale moonlight?
/ Gigabit ethernet network is up and operating at peak efficiency. / You might want to tell Nick that his friend is going a little bit overboard.
/ Mayday! The fox is in the hen house! Mayday! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051202.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 3, 2005 | So you see, we didn't have much of a choice. If Lori doesn't make it, Trish is the only girl available. Is that okay? / I don't know. I guess you did the right thing, but I'm not comfortable with her around. I think she's up to something...
/ Yeah, Justin. It's on. / Oh, come on. I know she's been weird, but she's no Trudy. It's not like she's plotting world domination... / You're luck this is bitter-sweet chocolate and not semi-sweet. I may need another bar before I'll let her into the rehearsal...
/ Later... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051203.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, December 4, 2005 | We'd like to thank everyone for coming to our rehearsal dinner, and for sharing this happy occasion with us. / We're keeping things pretty informal, so grab a plate and dig in. Since Rev. Phisher has a prior engagement, we'll eat first, then meet him at the church for the rehearsal.
/ Let's eat, everybody! / A buffet-style dinner... different, but good idea, I think...
/ With this many varied tastes, it seemed appropriate.
/ A most bounteous feast, Mrs. Wellington. My deepest compliments.
/ Laying it on a bit thick, aren't we, Scott?
/ Mmm... Roasted chicken, ribs, salmon... where do i start?
/ Where areyou going to stop? Save some for the others.
/ There are even some moldy leftovers in the back for the molds.
/ We tried to think of everyone! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051204.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 5, 2005 | Fooker, where's Fred? I thought he said he was coming?
/ Oops. I almost forgot... / CLICK / GLUG GLUG GLUG / He's traveling incognito.
/ Let's see what happens if I forget to give you air next time... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051205.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 6, 2005 | So how is our resident celebrity?
/ Not bad, Chuck. I'm definitely keeping busy. / We saw you on Leno the other night. It seems you've been getting around...
/ Oh, I'm hoppin'. The hard part is avoiding the Jerry Springers ot catch the Larry Kings. / Now that I have fame, it's time to put it to good use. I want to spread my unique brand of earthy wisdom, not squander my fifteen minutes on tack sensationalism. I... hold on a minute.
/ BZZT / Blast it! I knew I should never have given Oprah my cell number! She probably gained another pound and wants me to reassure her it's okay on national television... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051206.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 7, 2005 | Physarum. Go.
/ Mr. Physarum! Please don't hang up on me this time! I have to talk to you! / Oh, it's you. What was it... Socrates? How did you get this number?
/ Please, you must understand! We're alike! I'm just like you! We're two of a kind! / Look, kid. I'm not looking for anyone to ride on my coattails. I'm killing this number and getting a new one. Call me again, and I'll have the police hunt you down and put you away for stalking. / Just an obsessive fan. He's been calling and e-mailing constantly since the trial. I hate ot be so cruel, but one cannot confine such brilliance to only one recipient. I must share it with the world... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051207.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 8, 2005 | Hi, Patty! How is my name twin today?
/ Oh, goody. If it isn't Dexter's little dominatrix. / I'm sorry about that. I'm schizophrenic, but I'm taking my medicine regularly to keep my multiple personalities in check.
/ Oh, really. I didn't know you had dissociative identity disorder. / So your "medication" really helps with your "multiple personalities?"
/ Yep! My doctor says I'm making progress. I may even be cured eventually! / That settles it. If I didn't like that wacky chick before, I sure as heck don't like her lying slimy self now... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051208.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 9, 2005 | Ki, I wanted to ask you about choosing Trish to be a bridesmaid...
/ Well, unless Lori can find transportation or you change your mind, she's all I've got. / Thing thing is, I think she's not all she seems to be...
/ Trish is an enigma. I don't think any of us have her completely figured out. / So, Nick! Did you happen to bring any of those nifty inventions with you this evening? / I'd think flirting with the groom would be easy enough to figure out... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051209.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 10, 2005 | Why are you so curious about my inventions?
/ Oh, you silly goose! I told you! I'm fascinated by them. And you never shared your notes like I asked. / Well, I don't have any notes to really share. When the Inventor's Gene strikes, I just build. I don't have time to take notes.
/ Ooh... I'd love to see how you work when inspiration strikes. / Your hands, covered in sweat and grease, nimbly connecting circuits... your arms deftly manipulating metal and plastic as those muscles flex, your back rippling with each movement as you piece together your masterpiece... / Um, Trish... personal space?
/ Oops. "Naught Trish" slipped out for a sec. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051210.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, December 11, 2005 | THAT DINNER WAS LOVELY! THE WELLINGTONS SURE PULLED OUT ALL THE STOPS, AND THE OSHIROS HAVE REALLY MADE THE CHURCH LOOK WONDERFUL. / HEY, ARE YOU OKAY? YOU'VE BEEN DISTRACTED ALL EVENING.
/ HUH? OH SORRY THE MASHED POTATOES AREN'T AGREEING WITH ME. / I DOUBT THAT, THIS IS ABOUT THAT CALL FROM YOUR BROTHER LAS NIGHT ISN'T IT?
/ OKAY, YEAH, BUT DON'T BRING IT UP IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS. / JUSTIN WANTED TO ALERT ME TO A, RECENT DEVELOPMENT WITH THE UGA, THAT'S WHY WE USED THE ENCRYPTION MATRIX, SOMETHING BIG HAS HAPPENED, AND HE WANTED ME TO KNOW BEFORE I HEARD FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE. / THEY'RE... NOT ASKING YOU TO COME BACK, ARE THEY?
/ NO, BUT I'LL WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HIM. THIS HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE HUGE. / IT LOOKS LIKE SOME SKELETONS ARE COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET, AND NICK AND KI DO NOT NEED TO BE DEALING WITH THAT RIGHT NOW. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051211.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 12, 2005 | KI: OKAY, EVERYONE WHO NEEDS TO BE HERE IS HERE, EXCEPT THE PASTOR. WE CAN GET STARTED SHORTLY.
/ NICK: WHERE'S TRISH? / KI: OVER THERE. FLIRTING WITH SCOTT INSTEAD OF YOU FOR A CHANGE.
/ NICK: GOOD. I WAS HOPING THAT SHE'D FINALLY BREAK ORBIT. / KI: SHE REALLY LATCHED ON TO YOU TONIGHT. OBVIOUSLY, OUR IMPENDING WEDDING ISN'T MUCH OF A DETERRENT.
/ NICK: ACTUALLY, ALL SHE'S TALKED ABOUT HAS BEEN MY INVENTIONS. / NICK: IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I'D SAY SHE'D RATHER HAVE SEX WITH MY MACHINES THAN ME.
/ KI: WELL, THEN THAT'S WHERE THE TWO OF US DIFFER. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051212.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 13, 2005 | Okay, everyone. Rev. Phisher is here so let's get started! / All right, folks! Let's start with the procession. Ladies in the back, gents to the front. We'll start as the bridesmaids come down the aisle. / So, are you getting nervous yet, buddy?
/ Only that you'll end up losing or swallowing the rings for some bizarre reason. / Everything else is perfect. Just the way it should be. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051213.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 | And then we turn, and I announce "I present to you Mr. and Mrs Nicholas Wellington" / Okay, Let's take a five minute break. Then we'll run through it one more time.
/ Heh, time for a health break! / We need to work a little on the timing, but other than that. I think we've got it down pat.
/ Looks like everything's going according to plan. / Everything's going according to plan... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051214.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 15, 2005 | Back here in the church office is all the A/V equipment for the wedding. I thought I saw... Yes! Nick's duffle bag! / And just as I had hoped! This modified PDA has remote access to virtually all of his inventions! He never leaves home without it! / Two and a half years of planning, stalking, setbacks, and spying! and finally I have access to the one thing to complete my mission! _Nothing_ can stop me now! / Did you just hear maniacal laughter? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20051215.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 >>