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|GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 23, 2008||[[Captain and crew on the ship's bridge]] / Tech: It looks like there's no permanent damage. The hacking contest got out of its private network and hacked the ship's computers instead. / [[XO looking over tech's shoulder]] / Tech: Fortunately, the trojan they implanted was pretty benign, a proof of concept. It toyed with a few non-critical systems, but nothing to raise alarm about. / [[Captain standing over the tech]] / Captain: Define non-critical. / Tech: Some air conditioners, the menu system in the galley, the casino slots... The worst were a couple of lifeboats set adrift... / [[A lifeboat adrift far from the cruise ship]] / Voice inside: Did... you hear something?|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[On the beach, Nick stares into space while thinking. Ki starts coming to below the panel]] / Nick thinks: And that brought us to here. The lifeboat caught on a reef just off shore and capsized. Ki grabbed me, the tide washed us in, I blacked out... / Ki: Ngh... / [[Ki sits up while Nick bends down and puts her hand on her back]] / Ki: I have a... sneaking suspicion we didn't drown... right? / Nick: Why do you say that? / Ki: If we were dead, I doubt I'd ache all over. / [[Ki looks around with Nick]] / Ki: So... where are we? / Nick: I came to just before you did, but a quick glance and a hunch says a deserted island. / [[Ki and Nick look at each other]] / Ki: And the inevitable '60s sit-com reference occurs in three, two... / Nick: You can be the movie star. I'll get started making a radio from coconuts.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Nick and Ki have been washed up alone on an island beach. Ki is wearing an evening dress.]] / Nick: This end of the beach cuts off with these impassable rocks. / Ki: And the other end had those sheer cliffs. / Ki: So...How far do you think we've walked? / Nick: A couple of miles at least. If we can't follow the shore, I guess we should explore the interior. / Ki: A dense, foreboding jungle. Yes, sounds like a lovely romantic walk to me. / Nick: Right now, it's our only hope of finding out if this island is inhabited or deserted. / Ki: I hate to inform you, Indiana Jones, but neither of us are appropriately dressed for a jungle expedition. / Nick: Actually, for an Indiana Jones film, you'd be spot on.|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 30, 2008||[[Ki and Nick standing on a beach in formal clothing]] / Ki: Before we go exploring, maybe our top priorities should be food & shelter. / Nick: Food doesn't look like a problem, if you don't mind fruit and fish. / [[Ki and Nick walking along the beach]] / Nick: As for shelter, I think I saw a cave back that way a bit, up that hill. / Ki: Cozy. Any ideas on how to get off this speck? Or should I start picking out curtains to match granite? / [[Nick looks at his PDA]] / Nick: Well, without the life boat, all we have is what's on our persons. My PDA is toast after that dunking, as is my cell phone, not that we'd get any signals anyway. So I guess the old standbys of sand carving and smoke signals will have to do. / [[Ki and Nick standing in place]] / Nick: At least our clothes, once dry, will keep us warm if the nights get cold... / Ki: I refer you back to my previous Indiana Jones wardrobe comment.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Nick enters the mouth of a cave, looking into it, while Ki looks on from a distance]] / Nick: The cave looks empty from here, but we'll have to go in to be sure. / Ki: I'd much rather be certain no prior tenant will come back to evict us. / [[Nick, visible from the front, peers into the cave while Ki looks on]] / Nick: Pretty dark... don't happen to have a flashlight on you? / Ki: Gee, I left it in my other plunging mini-dress. / [[Nick's voice is heard off-panel while a shadowy figure emerges from the vegetation behind Ki]] / Nick's voice: Hold on... I think I see something. A glint of light, reflecting off something... could be metallic... / Ki: Metallic? Maybe it could be a radio or survival pack left by someone else... / [[Someone, possibly the man in the bushes, points a gun at a frightened Ki's head]] / Nick's voice: Um, I'll be sure to ask the nice gentleman with the gun if he'll let me...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 5, 2008||[[Ki and Nick cuffed in front of an armed soldier]] / Nick: So much for this island being deserted... / Ki: It's a good thing I didn't give into that urge to pounce you on the beach... / [[Soldier leaning into Nick]] / Soldier: Quiet, you two. Save your chatter for the boss' questions. / Nick: And who, pray tell, is "The Boss"? / [[Nick and Ki on a balcony looking down at a huge control center]] / Ki: I get the distinct impression he's not Bruce Springsteen... / Nick: Does any of this seem vaguely familiar to you...?|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 7, 2008||[[Ki, Nick, and a soldier walking down a flight of stairs]] / Corporal: Found this pair near the cave entrance, sir. Looks like it was their boat that capsized on the reef. / Voice off-panel: Good work, corporal. / [[Ki and Nick facing someone off-panel]] / Voice off-panel: Although the restraints are unnecessary. These two are... old friends. They pose no threat. / Ki: It _/can't/_ be... / Nick: You've _/got/_ to be kidding... / [[Nick, Ki, and a man in the shadows]] / Man in shadows: Judging from your attire, it would be safe to assume you didn't come here willingly. I'd bet you washed overboard from that passing cruise ship. / Nick: That would be correct... / [[Close up of the mystery man]] / Nick (off-panel): Mr. Connery, or should I say, "Moldfinger"? / Moldfinger: Ah, it seems someone at the U.G.A. is getting lax with their memory wiping...|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Ki, Nick, and Mr. Connery talking]] / Connery: Let's see... "Alex Blighter" and "Pennymoney", wasn't it? Or should I just use your _/real/_ names, Mr. Wellington and Ms. Oshiro? / Ki: That's _/Mrs./_ Wellington. / [[Mr. Connery talking to Ki]] / Connery: Ah, congratulations, then. It seems my sources aren't as current as I had hoped. I _/try/_ to stay on top of things, but in today's fast-paced world, you know... / [[Nick talking to Mr. Connery]] / Nick: Look, Moldfinger, we don't want any trouble. We washed onto your beach by accident. We weren't looking for your secret lair... / Connery: Oh, I wouldn't call it a "secret lair". / [[Mr. Connery gestures to the entire complex]] / Connery: This is my little... retirement bungalow. / Ki: So bungalows come equipped with armed stormtroopers and dozens of satellite feeds these days?|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 12, 2008||[[Ki, Nick and Connery talking]] / Connery: Ah... That sharp wit I've heard so much about. You should have taken up my offer so many years ago, Mrs. Wellington. / Ki: The answer's still no. / Connery: Pity. As to my little paradise, a man of my... status has high needs for security these days. Whether it's the paparazzi or covert government agents, privacy is a hard thing to come by. / Nick: So... you really are retired? / Connery: From both filmmaking and plotting world domination. All I want now is peace and quiet... with no one looking over my shoulder. / Nick: I heard you secretly hate Shia Labeouf. / Connery: If Spielberg and Lucas sent you, for the last time the answer is a resounding no.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Ki, Nick and Connery talking]] / Connery: No matter. You are free to go. In fact, you may stay at my private villa on the other side of the volcano for the next few days, to finish out what seems to be your honeymoon. Meals and services are on the house. / Ki: You're... not going to kill us? We could expose your hiding place to the U.G.A. / Connery: Kill you? I told you. I'm retired. My evil mastermind days are over. / Connery: And once you leave, this island will be destroyed, along with all traces of where I'll go next. So tell the U.G.A. all you want. It will make little difference. / Connery: In fact, my men will take you back to civilization on one condition: you must deliver a message to our dear mutual friend, Mr. James Baud...|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||Moldfinger: C.R.U.D.E., the evil organization to which I once pledged my allegiance, is dead. Nefarious, Not, Inertia and most of the support staff are behind bars. I, as previously stated, am retired and seek no further quarrel. / Moldfinger: Despite this, there is a new and growing threat, one I have heard whispers of through my many contacts. The U.G.A. would be wise to be prepared for the inevitable. / Moldfinger: Tell Mr. Baud to beware the Colonel and the Key Master. Beyond this, I have nothing else useful to share. Oh, other than to say that Inertia is not everything he appears. / Moldfinger: With that, I bid you adieu. I hope you enjoy your stay. My congratulations again to the happy couple.|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 19, 2008||[[Outside Antony's Pizzeria]] / Voice 1: You mean you two really stayed there another three days? / Voice 2: Well, the chef made a really good filet mignon... / [[Fooker, Sharon, Ki, & Nick sitting at a table inside of Antony's Pizzeria]] / Sharon: Still, I think I would have been creeped out, knowing I was sleeping in an evil mastermind's bed. / Ki: Well, now he's got quite a show to watch on his CCTV. / [[Closeup of Fooker & Nick]] / Nick: So... Any idea about this "Colonel" and "Key Master"? / Fooker: Aside from calling Bill Murray about the "Gate Keeper", not a clue. / [[Closeup of Fooker & Nick]] / Nick: The way he said it seemed to imply you'd know who he meant. / Fooker: Maybe... But I've been out of the game for a while, so I don't collect the bubble gum cards anymore.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Nick, Ki, Sharon, and Fooker are talking about Nick and Ki's honeymoon]] / Sharon: Run-ins with criminal masterminds aside, I'm glad to hear you guys had a fun and eventful honeymoon. / Ki: All things considered, I wouldn't change a thing. / Fooker: Geek cruise, huh? I'll bet you guys picked up a few new tricks. / Nick: I'd say we learned a few useful... techniques. / [[Sharon gives Fooker a nasty look]] / Fooker: Any new interfaces you'd like to share? Exciting methods of input and output? Data streaming into open sockets? Tunneling pipes? Dumping core? / [[Nick and Ki leave, while Sharon is still glaring at Fooker]] / Sharon: You're making obscure computer sex jokes, aren't you? / Ki: It's okay, Sharon. He can go fork himself.|
|GPF Archive: Friday, May 23, 2008||[[Justin on the phone in a UGA office]] / Justin: Hello? Hi, Jas. Yeah, line's secure. Got your message, just haven't had time to follow up yet. / [[Justin walking down a corridor]] / Justin: Yeah, no clue here either. Neither are aliases currently in use that I'm aware of. We put a flag in all the systems, so if those keywords crop up, we'll know. / [[Justin looking through glass]] / Justin: Oh, him? No change. He just sits there. Barely eats, barely moves. No clue how he sustains all that bulk while eating like a bird. It's like he's waiting for something, but we have no clue what that could be. / [[Justin looking in on Mr. Inertia in a yoga pose]] / Justin: Don't worry, if anything changes, you'll be one of the first to know...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 26, 2008||[[A sidewalk cafe, a helicopter shot]] / Sharon: I love this little corner Bistro. It's open and sunny, within walking distance of the office and the food is awesome... / Dexter: Amen to that part. / [[The scene zooms in and we see Dexter, Sharon and Nick seated at the table. Nick is preoccupied by his PDA]] / Dexter: So when will Fooker and Ki get back from Springfield? / Sharon: Probably around Five. That customer insisted on an on-site demo of our new custom CMS. / Sharon: Nick... you haven't put your PDA down since we got here. Don't you *ever* unplug once in a while? / Nick: Sharon, this isn't just a PDA. It's my external brain. I can barely function without it. / Sharon: I hope Ki knew when she married you that she had competition for your affections... / Nick: Actually, she *loves* when I use this thing... / PDA: ALERT: ANNIVERSARY OF FIRST KISS TOMORROW|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 28, 2008||[[Dexter, Nick, and Sharon at a local restaurant]]
/ Nick: My PDA is my lifeline. Without it, I'm useless. It has my schedule, my contacts, tons of little notes, my encrypted password database... It's my neural core dump. / [[Dexter hits his glass]]
/ Nick: It's essential to my daily operations. I'm incomplete without it.
/ Sharon: And Dexter just spilled soda all over it.
/ Dexter: Huh? / [[Dexter bobbles the PDA]]
/ Dexter: Omigosh! Sorry, Nick!
/ Nick: It's okay, Dex. I've done worse. Just let me dry--
/ Dexter: No, I'll get it. I'm really-- Oops! / [[A bike drives past the group]]
/ Nick: Where'd it go? Please tell me it didn't fall into the--
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Dexter, Sharon and Nick look from a cafe at the crushed remains of Nick's PDA, lying on the road, as the bicyclist rides away]]
/ Sharon: If your PDA can survive a soda bath, can it survive being run over by a bicycle?
/ Nick: It... could be worse / <
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Nick and Ki, seen from behind, pass Sharon and Fooker in GPF]] / Sharon: There they are! Ki, where have you guys been? You're two hours late this morning! / Ki: We know. Sorry. / [[Fooker raises his index finger while speaking to Ki while Sharon looks on]] / Fooker: You know, early-morning nookie is not an acceptable excuse for missing one of Dwayne's status meetings. / Ki: FYI, Nick used to use his PDA as an alarm clock. We forgot to find a substitute. / [[Ki continues talking with Fooker and Sharon]] / Sharon: Still haven't found a replacement yet? / Ki: With this project deadline, we haven't had a chance to go shopping. We'll hit the stores this weekend. / Fooker: How's he holding up? / [[Ki and Fooker's silhouettes, standing in the door frame, look at Nick, who has disheveled hair, a slightly loose tie and a not completely tucked shirt.]] / Ki: It's... not pretty. / Nick thinks: Did I remember to put on underwear this morning?|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, June 4, 2008||[[Dexter enters Nick's office where Nick, looking disheveled, is at work at his computer.]] / Dexter: I'm really sorry about your PDA, Nick... / Nick: It's okay, Dexter. Accidents happen. It was getting old anyway. / Dexter: Ya know, maybe you should look into a smartphone. It's one less device to carry... / Nick: Eh. "Converged" devices are usually only good at one thing or the other, or worse, neither. / Dexter: That may have been true a few years ago, but they're a lot better now. I love my Blackberry, and it does everything I need. / Nick: Hrm. My phone is rather utilitarian... / Nick: At this point, I just need something. I'm barely able to function today... / Dexter: Did you know you've compiled that same module three times while I've stood here?|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Nick and Ki walk through a mall]] / Ki: Well, you managed to survive the week, the car appointment not withstanding, are you sure about a smartphone? / Nick: Yes, and the car can get serviced next week, okay? / Ki: Did you review the options our cell carrier has? / Nick: Yeah, but most were Windows Mobile, and you know how I feel about that... / Ki: I know, you're a die-hard Palm fan, but you've said yourself that Palm is a dying platform. Before long you'll need to find an alternative and... Nick? / [[Nick is pressed up against the glass of an Apple store window looking at an iPhone display.]] / Ki: You're in PDA Nirvana right now, aren't you? / Nick: We wants it, my precious.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Ki and Nick are in an Apple store as Nick plays with an iPhone.]] / Ki: An iPhone? I didn't think you'd go for an Apple product... / Nick: It's not PalmOS, but it's not Windows Mobile either... / Nick: It is a pretty sweet little machine. It's sleek, snappy... / [[Ki takes out a calculator]] / Ki: Yeah, but we're still paying for two honeymoons. I want to run the numbers. / Ki: The required data plan puts us paying 25% more per month. We'd also have to buy the phone itself. For that matter, I'd need a new phone, and that's not even getting to the fee for breaking our current contract... / Ki: We're looking at a good $900 more over two years than if you just got that Treo from our carrier... / Nick: Heh... multi-touch. Cool.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||[[Ki and Nick are walking out of an Apple store]] / Ki: I'm sorry I burst your geeky bubble... / Nick: No, deep down I knew it needed to be burst. / Nick: Technically, we're a two-income family now, we can afford the premium. But we can also take the more financially frugal path and put that grand every two years to better use. / Nick: Plus, I've got a ton of Palm software I've collected over the years that will still work with the Treo. With the iPhone, I'd have zip... unless I hacked it and risked bricking it. For me, this is a wiser choice. / Ki: But the tremble in your voice is lusting for that smooth, black glass finish... / Nick: Excuse me... Got something in my eye...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, June 13, 2008||[[Sharon and Ki are at the coffee machine.]] / Sharon: So Nick gave up an iPhone for a more affordable Treo? / Ki: He may be a geek, but he's a responsible geek. / Sharon: Wow. I don't think Fooker could be that thrifty. Not that he'd buy a gadget with a proprietary OS. / Ki: I've seen Fooker with a credit card. Trust me, I know. / [[They walk past Nick's office where Nick is on the phone.]] / Ki: Still, Nick will get his smartphone in a couple days and all will return to normal. / Nick: Supermegaship? Yes, I'm trying to track a shipment... / Sharon: Since when has "normal" been a word used to describe this place? / Nick: What do you mean, you LOST IT?!|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||Patty: Morning, Dexter. Did you have a good weekend? / Dexter: Hey, Patty. Not bad. I reorganized my Star Wars action figures alphabetically. / Patty: Um, right. Look, as soon as you're logged in, I need you to review Ki's table layout for the Grossman database. I think we need a few more columns and... Hey, what's that? / Dexter: Hm? / Dexter: What's a limo doing outside? Is Dwayne meeting some big shot? / Patty: Not that I know of. Wait... are they caterers? What's with the lime gelatin mold? / Dexter: That's... not gelatin. That's a slime mold. / Patty: Ah. The silver platter threw me off, but the red carpet clears things up...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, June 18, 2008||[[Fred is sitting in the hand of a man in a black suit, sunglasses, and ear piece]] / Fred: Dwayne, can we talk for a few minutes? / Dwayne: Sure, Fred. I always have time for my employees. / Dwayne: Who is this? / Fred: Oh, this is Klaus, my bodyguard. Don't mind him, but I wouldn't advise any sudden moves. / Dwayne: O....kay. / Fred: Dwayne, you've been very good to me, giving me a job when the university dumped me, standing by me through the Trent fiasco... I really appreciate all you've done, but let's face it. I'm not cut out for phone tech support. / [[Klaus scowling]] / Dwayne: Are you... quitting? / Klaus: I don't like his tone of voice, boss... / Fred: Easy, big guy. Save it for the shooting range.|
|GPF Archive: Friday, June 20, 2008||[[Fred and Dwayne talking]] / Dwayne: I suppose it's not that big of a surprise. With your "outing" in the wake of the trial, you've been in high demand. / Fred: Tell me about it. / [[Fred gesturing]] / Fred: It wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to stay. I'm constantly distracted by bookings and appearances. I can't do my phone gig for you if I'm in LA doing an interview, and I can't do the celeb thing tied to a phone and keyboard. / [[Fred and Dwayne shake hands]] / Dwayne: Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed, and I hate to see you go. However, I understand your decision and I wish you the best of luck. / Fred: If you ever need a celebrity endorsement, just let me know. / [[Bodyguard holds Dwayne back]] / Bodyguard: Sir, I must ask you to back away from the mold... now... / Fred: Klaus, he's clean. I don't want another Miley Cyrus incident.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||Sharon: So what do you guys think of Fred's decision to quit GPF? / Nick: I'm on the fence. I'm happy he's doing so well, but afraid it's going to his... um... nucleus. / Nick: It seems to me most of his celebrity is based on the novelty of his uniqueness. Once the media has had its fill of him, I think he'll get dumped onto the D-List with former child actors and American Idol rejects. / Ki: How is Fooker taking the attention focused on his apartment? / Sharon: He's been cool to the molds lately, ever since we got back from the alternate universe. And he won't say why. / Nick: Oh, I'm sure they had a disagreement that will work itself out in a day or two. / Fred: Smell you later, chump. / Fooker: Good riddance.|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, June 25, 2008||[[Fred and Persephone facing Ki, Nick, and Sharon, with movers in the background]] / Nick: Fred? What's this? Are you moving out? / Fred: On the nose. Pers and I are stepping up to classier digs. / [[Close-up of Fred and Persephone]] / Fred: We've got an upscale penthouse condo downtown. Just signed the lease yesterday. Even got some favors in with the health inspector to keep it favorable to our unique needs. I've been humming "The Jeffersons" theme all day. / [[Fred, Persephone, Ki, & Nick]] / Persephone: I'm really going to miss this place, Fred. And Fooker. Without him, we'd literally be nothing. / Fred: He's been holding us back, Persephone. He no longer needs us and vice versa. / [[Persephone, Fred, and Ki]] / Ki: Are you sure you can afford this? That sounds expensive... / Fred: I'm booked solid for the next six months. This is pocket change. I need the bling.|
|General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip||Ki: Wow...I can't believe you and Fred are parting ways... / Fooker: If you ask me, it's been too long coming. / Nick: This is a pretty big turnaround. You two have been inseparable for so many years. / Fooker: Well, people change. _/Fred/_ sure has. / Sharon: There's more to this parting than Fred's ego. _/You've/_ been treating the molds differently ever since we got back from the alternate universe. What happened there to start this? / Fooker: Sometimes you learn things about someone you know that totally changes your perception of them. In this case, trust me, the less you know the better.|
|GPF Archive: Monday, June 30, 2008||[[Sky view of a penthouse apartment with pool, tennis court, and trees]] / Nick (off-panel): Wow, Fred... This place is quite spiffy. Thanks for inviting us over. / Fred (off-panel): Did you just say "spiffy"? / [[Ki, Nick, and Fred inside the apartment]] / Fred: Truth be told, I have ulterior motives. I need your help on something... / Nick: Look, we want you to make amends with Fooker, but we can't be your proxy... / [[Fred waggling his pseudopod]] / Fred: What? No, this isn't about Encino Man. I need geek help. I'm installing a server cluster and T-1 line to host my new multimedia hub. I thought I'd ask my favorite techies who bathe to come by and help. / [[Ki, Nick, and Fred talking]] / Nick: Sure thing. Just show me where it is and I'll get started. / Fred: No, no. Ki can handle that. I need you for something more important. / Ki: Wait... Was I just complimented or insulted here?|
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