You're browsing the archives of The Tao of Geek.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

The Tao of Geek: an online comic Jeremy: Gah! I hate being unemployed with no prospects. / Jeremy: I can still remember my high school guidance counselors..."Go to university, improve your prospects!" / Jeremy: Course, the counselors have degrees...and look what they're doing!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020610
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Jeremy: I wish the ads in the paper were more relevant to me. / Jeremy: I'd like a job that does not involve fast food, telemarketing... / Jeremy: [[Jeremy is reading a newspaper with advertisements - Escorts Needed, Big Honkers - Now Hiring!, Strippers wanted 18+, we train!, GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS]] ...a sex change...
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020611
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Employer: Well, kid, I like you, but I'm afraid that you're underqualified; you need a degree. / Jeremy: What?! B-but I have a degree! / Employer: Really... in what? / Jeremy: Computer science. / Employer: What?! Why didn't you say so? / Employer: You're over-qualified... now go away... you're ruining my repuation.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020612
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Jeremy (thinking): $employed = false; if ($employed == true) { $say = "Money!" } ; / Jeremy (thinking): else if ($employed == false) { $say = "Man, this sucks!" } ; else die(); echo $say / Jeremy: Man, this sucks! / Jeremy (thinking): Other people have a train of thought... I have a web script governing my brain.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020613
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Jeremy is seen walking up the stairs to his home.]] / Jeremy (thinking): I shouldn't complain though... life could be worse. / [[Jeremy reaches for the door handle...]] / Jeremy (thinking): I've food, A roof over my head, good friends... Peace... / [[Jeremy stands in the doorway looking at his roommates]] / Jeremy (thinking): I think... / Fred: YES! / Pete: NO! / Hiryuu: SHUT UP!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020614
 
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Jeremy: Wha? / Pete: Fred, your game's dumb! / Fred: No it's NOT!! / Fred: Jer! You're just in time! Check out my company's next title! / [[Jeremy looks at the game package]] / Jeremy: "Hoo-ah the Ninja"? / Fred: Doesn't it just scream, "Best-Seller"?
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020617
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Fred: But Pete, can you give me a reason why? / Pete: Well, for one... / Pete: Controls suck, graphics suck, music sucks, story flat, ... / Pete: I could go on! / Pete: Why would anyone want to play this game?! / Fred: It's got NINJAS! / Pete: ah, yes. of course.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020618
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Fred: Still looking for work? Why not come to my place, Cold Front Studios? / Jeremy: Um, gee, I'll think about it, k? / Fred: It'll be great! Cool people, cool atmosphere, new technology, even the chance to work on the next hottest thing! / Hiryuu: You mean like that text based diablo clone? / Fred: It will be popular!!!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020619
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Jeremy hangs his coat up in the closet after coming in]] / Jeremy: Hiryuu, you look... / Hiryuu: Those two are hell! / Hiryuu: They've been at it all day, so I told them to play outside. / Hiryuu: ...but it's been raining. / Jeremy: So, what happened? / Hiryuu: Well, they played, all right... / [[Hiryuu stands in the middle of the kitchen, pointing to the multi colored spots on the wall]] / Hiryuu: Inside... with the ketchup and mustard tubes...
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020620
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Hiryuu's face is shown holding a serious expression]] / [[Hiryuu stands in the panel, holding parallel to the ground in front of himself, a round, staff-like object.]] / [[Hiryuu's hand is shown gripping the staff]] / [[Hiryuu flies through the air, anime ninja kick style.]] / <> / [[Jeremy pokes his head around the door as Hiryuu is seen walking through the panel]] / Jeremy: Non one cleans like Hiryuu! / Hiryuu: Damn straight!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020621
 
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Jeremy lays with his head resting on the counter in front of himself as pete sets a drink down for him]] / Pete: I've been thinking... Maybe you should find work you'd enjoy... Makes you happy. / Pete: I mean, look at me... Getting and english degree, working here... / Pete: and I'm HAPPY. / Pete: Do you know WHY, though? / [[Jeremy spins around in his chair and leans against the counter, calling back over his shoulder]] / Jeremy: Because your folks are paying your tuition costs? / Pete: Yes.. -- NO!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020625
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Jeremy sips his drink]] / Pete: I'm tellin ya... You have to look at the situation differently. / [[Pete gestures to a wall of containers on shelves]] / Pete: Take this wall of coffee behind me... Different people have different preferences. You can tell a lot from their tastes. / Pete: It's like a giant psych experiment. / Jeremy: I see a cross-indexable database of coffee products, with an online form to order your favourites... / Pete: You're hopeless.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020626
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Jeremy: I'm not sure... I keep regretting actually leaving school, y'know? / Jeremy: I mean, everything was so structured, so constant, you knew what you had to do, what your future held, what was expected of you... / Hiryuu: 8am classes, killer assignments, profs who can't speak your language but are vital to your passing... / Jeremy: Oh yeah. That too.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020627
The Tao of Geek: an online comic (Fred runs up to Jeremy and Hiryuu, who are walking down the sidewalk) / Fred: Guys! I thought up a great idea! A video game party! Our place! / Hiryuu: You want to invite a bunch of freaks to mess up our house?! / Fred: Yeah! / Jeremy: You want us to host people taking games too seriously?! / Fred: YEAH! / Fred: Video game party! Won't that be fun?! / [[Hiryuu and Jeremy slap their foreheads]] / Hiryuu and Jeremy: Joy.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020628
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Jeremy: Hey, Pete... Fred wants to have a video game party. / Pete: What?! Oh no! No! NO! / Jeremy: He wants our input on it... / Pete: NO! No more of his ideas! / Jeremy: He promises to help clean up this time, to make sure we get people we agree on... / Pete: I have yet to hear a good reason... / Jeremy: ...and we can watch anime till our brains explode. / [[Pete bows, hands together in front of his chest]] / Pete: Arigatou Fred.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020629
 
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Hiryuu: Ok, so I'll just -- Hey Fred, what's that? / Fred: A great suprise! / Fred: Cold Front Studios is writing games for the new Fun Machine system! I got to bring home a beta -- with our games! / Hiryuu: Great. More Junk! / Fred: Hey! This is the latest! We gotta have it! / Fred: How else will people know we're GEEKS? / Hiryuu: Besides the welcome mat in binary?
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020701
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[A large banner hangs over the room, reading "Fun Machine Party"; the TV sits in the background with a large group of people sitting on the floor and couch, staring at it; more people are seen entering through the doorway, pointing at the television excitedly; Jeremy, Hiryuu, Fred, and Pete are seen left-panel looking at each-other in confusion.]] / Jeremy, Fred, Hiryuu, Pete (in unison): I thought YOU invited them!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020702
The Tao of Geek: an online comic Fred: So, what's the verdict? / Jeremy: Well... / Jeremy: They like the system, controls, launch games... / Jeremy: Also the sounds and graphics... / Jeremy: But someone found a 'feature', as it were. / Fred: What? / <> / Jeremy: Launching CD's as ninja stars. / [[Fred drops the food in his hands and runs for his life from a flying cd]] / Fred: AH!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020703
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Jeremy reads through a notebook]] / Jeremy: It says here that the Fun Machine has DVD capabilities as good as any standalone! / Pete: Really?! Let's try it! / Jeremy: What do you have in mind? / [[Pete holds up a video box with three female figures on the front]] / Pete: I rented this anime, "The Depths of Atlantis." Was going to watch it up in my room. / Pete: The box says it's a "Heartwarming Adventure." / Pete: Given the crowd, it can't hurt! / [[Hiryuu scans the video case]] / Jeremy: Oh, what the hell. / Pete: OTAKU TIME! / Hiryuu: Why are the scientists called Bunny, Candy, and Delilah?
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020704
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Darkened figures are seen, eyes gazing toward the reader at a television which sits center panel]] / [[A closeup of pete shows sweat dripping from his brow as a shocked expression adorns his face]] / Hiryuu: Uh, Pete... How is hardcore tentacle porn a "Heartwarming Adventure"? / Fred: Maybe that's how squid guys warm their hearts? / [[Pete slumps down below camera view]] / Pete whimpers: mah-mee?
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020705
 
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Closeup sub-panel shows pete]] / Pete: Well... / [[Panel broadens to shown an overturned couch, torn curtains, trash everywhere; Jeremy, Pete, and Hiryuu peer unhappily from behind the couch; Fred stands triumphant]] / Fred: That was successful!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020706
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Gorias, Marquesa and Erbyne standing in a non-descript area]] / Marquesa: My people have been lost for ages... because of the black lord. / [[Marquesa brings her hand to her head]] / Marquesa: They call to me in my dreams... saying that I must avenge them. So I offer my sword in the hopes that one day... / [[Close-up of Marquesa's face]] / Marquesa: We may purge the land of this beast... / [[Back to reality. Hiryuu, Fred and Pete are sitting at a table.]] / Hiryuu: And my people can sleep in peace. / Fred: OK, I think that went a little long, don't you think? / Pete: Shh!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020708
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Gorias crawling towards Marquesa]] / Marquesa: Oh, good. You've returned. What news do you bring? / Gorias: *gasp* / [[Gorias stands next to Marquesa]] / Gorias: There's a chip wagon over the hill. / Marquesa: You mean a "chuck wagon". / [[Close-up of Gorias]] / Gorias: I mean, "chip wagon"! / [[Back to reality. Jeremy is pushing a snack cart into the room. Pete is standing and Fred and Hiryuu are at the table. Hiryuu is staring at the ceiling.]] / Fred and Pete: Yay! Food! / Hiryuu (thinking): *sigh*
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020709
The Tao of Geek: an online comic (RPG Scenario, characters facing off against an Orc Lord) / Marquesa: YOU! You have been a thorn in my side for too long... but now I shall have my revenge! / Marquesa: Feel my breasts! / (switches back to the group, seated at a table) / Fred: Language botch! / Hiryuu: @#$!* / Jeremy: The Orc Lord reaches out and yells, "Me first!" / Pete: Ha ha ha!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020710
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Hiryuu against a dark background]] / Hiryuu: It was like a dream... one that you have, can barely remember, but eludes the simplest words. / [[Hiryuu raises a fist]] / Hiryuu: For it was a dream of desire, to become powerful, important... to make a difference. But all such dreams... / [[Close-up of Hiryuu]] / Hiryuu: Can only be fulfilled... through war. / [[Fred sitting at a table and Hiryuu is standing.]] / Fred: Wow, you certainly take GM'ing seriously! / Hiryuu: Please... you're interrupting my art.
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020711
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020712">http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020712 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Hiryuu, Fred and Jeremy talking]] / Hiryuu: OK, now for tonight... / Fred (shouting): NO MORE RPGS! / Jeremy: Huh? / [[Hiryuu and Fred arguing]] / Fred: I'm tired of it! We've been doing it all week! I want something else! / Hiryuu: OK! We don't have to play! Sheesh! / [[Hiryuu and Pete sit on the couch, Jeremy and Fred on the floor]] / Hiryuu: ... so why is he playing Final Fantasy? / Pete: Some thngs man was not meant to know. / Fred: Booyah! Purple chocobo!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020713
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[Jeremy, Hiryuu, Pete, and Fred sit in a movie theatre]] / Pete: Dude, This Is SO Cool! / Fred: You Said It, Man! / Pete: Wow! / Fred: Neat! / Pete: The Best! / Fred: Awesome! / Hiryuu: Movie's Good, But Can't Say The Same About The Popcorn. / Pete: Oh, Just Lighten Up! / Jeremy: And They Wonder Why I Go To Movies ALONE... / Yak / Yak / Yak / Yak
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020715
The Tao of Geek: an online comic [[The gang is standing in the lobby of the movie theatre]] / Fred: Wasn't the dialogue great? / Jeremy: What I heard, I liked! / Pete: Man, if I made that movie, I'd be making a fortune! / Jeremy: Yeah, I'd love to have that kind of money ... / Hiryuu: Oh, come now, you'd just buy yourself enough computers to run Poland! / Jeremy: Wha- - Oh, whatever! / Fred: Yeah, and YOU'D host a giant LARP session! / Hiryuu: No I - - What would you do?! / Fred: LOTS!
http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020716
a class="searchlink" href="http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020717">http://taoofgeek.com/archive.php?date=20020717 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 >>