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June 17, 2004 [[Black Betty has Shelley and Natalie cornered in a closet. She is advancing on them with tongs.]] / Black Betty: A debt is a debt, gents. / Don't fea, my ole friend the Queen mother assures me that peanuts make excellent substitute teeth. / Natalie: 'Oly 'ell, we 'ave badly misjudged ze situation! / [[Shelley...
scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040617 Black Betty: A debt is a debt, gents. Don't fear, my ole friend the Queen Mother assures me that peanuts make excellent substitute teeth. / Natalie Durand: 'Oly 'ell, we 'ave badly misjudged ze situation! / [[Shelley reaches for a pepper mill on the shelf behind her.]] / [[Shelley cranks the pepper mill...
June 18, 2004 [[Shelley's body is lying in a cot in a hospital room. Fallon and Ryan are sitting next to the bed.]] / Ryan: What's the prognosis? / Fallon: She's in a coma. / One bullet collapsed her lung, and she lost a lot of blood. / It's just a question now of how much she wants to live. / [[Ralph enters the room.]] / Ryan:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan Beckwith: What's the prognosis? / Fallon Young: She's in a coma. One bullet collapsed her lung, and she lost a lot of blood. It's just a question now of how much she wants to live. / Ryan Beckwith: Ralph, I don't think you're allowed back here. / Ralph: Modern medicine, BAH! Mere quackery! There's...
June 21, 2004 [[Leppo is poking at his newly returned teeth with a toothpick. Natalie and Shelley are standing next to him.]] / Leppo: Ahhh! / That's the toothy feeling I remember! / Natalie: I am not so sure zat I wish to spend quality time with M. Leppo any more... / Shelley: We got your gums back, now spit it out,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Leppo: Ahhh! That's the toothy feeling I remember! / Natalie Durand: I am not so sure zat I wish to spen quality time with M. Leppo any more... / Shelley Winters: We got your gums back, now spit it out, Gnasher! How do I get back to being a living, breathing, ass-shaking lady? / Leppo: Over yonder is...
June 22, 2004 [[Shelley and Natalie are climbing over a fence to get to the space bridge.]] / Shelley: Are you going to try your luck on the space bridge, Nat? / Natalie: Does a mule's bottom stink to 'igh 'eaven? / It is ass squared! / YES! / [[Shelley and Natalie are hugging, next to the space bridge.]] / Shelley: Thank...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Are you going to try your luck on the space bridge, Nat? / Natalie Durand: Does a mule's bottom stink to 'igh 'eaven? It is ass squared! YES! / Shelley Winters: Thank you for being a kind friend, Natalie. / Natalie Durand: I will see you on ze other side! We will meet for drinks at ze...
June 23, 2004 [[Shelley is standing next to Zombie Shelley.]] / Shelley: Sorry goth girl, but I have to deck you in order to live! / [[Shelley punches Zombie Shelley.]] / <> / Shelley: It is nothing personal to lovers of the night! / [[Shelley flees across the bridge. Zombie Shelley is sitting up, with a demonic...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Sorry goth girl, but I have to deck you in order to live! It is nothing personal to lovers of the night! / <> / [[Shelley punches Zombie Shelley.]] / [[As Shelley legs it, Zombie Shelley gets back up.]] / [[Zombie Shelley tackles Shelley from behind.]] / <http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040623
 
June 24, 2004 [[Zombie Shelley is standing behind Shelley, holding her up. Zombie Shelley has a demonic grin on her face and Shelley has blood leaking out of her head.]] / Zombie Shelley: Mmmm! / Lovely brainy goodness!!! / [[Zombie Shelley is clutching at her throat. Shelley is sticking her tongue out at her and...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Zombie Shelley Winters: Mmmmm! Lovely brainy goodness!!! / Zombie Shelley Winters: NGGGURRRRKK! / Shelley Winters: HA! I was thinking about poison, you sociopathic rotter! / [[Shelley makes a highly impolite gesture toward her poisoned zombie counterpart, against the background of the British flag.]] / Shelley...
June 25, 2004 [[Amy and Ryan are sitting next to Shelley's hospital bed. The window is open, and a pair of long arms are sticking through the window.]] / Amy: What are THOSE? / Ryan: I think Ralph's trying to lay on hands from the car park. / [[Amy and Ryan are still sitting next to the bed. Amy has a magazine out;...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: What are THOSE? / Ryan Beckwith: I think Ralph's trying to lay on hands from the car park. / Amy Chilton: It says here that walking sideways like a crab is the new walking forward and backwards. / Ryan Beckwith: There's desp'ration in that article. Desp'ration like a crow tryin' to eat a...
June 28, 2004 [[Amy is pushing Shelley in a wheelchair. They are outside of the hospital.]] / Amy: ...so anyway they shocked you! / And bagged you! / With a C-SPAN, MSNBC, stat! / Can you remember anything that happened? / Shelley: Men on bikes! / They said "this is for Rodney in Brixton prison", then BLAM! / Motorcycle...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: ...so anyway they shocked you! And bagged you! With a C-SPAN, MSNBC, stat! Can you remember anything that happened? / Shelley Winters: Men on bikes! They said "this is for Rodney in Brixton prison", then BLAM! Motorcycle death guns! / Shelley Winters: But there is one thing I have to ask....
June 29, 2004 [[Ryan and Fallon are sitting at the bar. Tessa is mixing drinks, Rachel is hiding under the bar.]] / Fallon: Why would the Cheeky Pistons have shot Shelley? / They love to do crime, but not in an irresponsible way. / Ryan: Could it have been mistaken identity? / It is easy to make a mistake. / Fallon:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Fallon Young: Why would the Cheeky Pistons have shot Shelley? They love to do crime, but not in an irresponsible way. / Ryan Beckwith: Could it have been mistaken identity? It is easy to make a mistake. / Fallon Young: But Shelley doesn't look like the sort of person that a biker gang would have a beef...
June 30, 2004 [[William and Rachel are standing next to each other. Rachel has an evil smile on her face.]] / William: Rachel, you nearly got that Shelley girl killed. / Rachel: I know, I know. / MUST TRY HARDER. / [[William and Rachel are arguing in front of Tessa, who is sitting on a couch, reading.]] / William: What's...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Will: Rachel, you nearly got that Shelley girl killed. / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: I know, I know. MUST TRY HARDER. / Will: What's your problem with her? / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: She annoys me on an existential level, and I have very poor impulse control, WILLY. / Will: You have to own up to what...
 
July 1, 2004 [[Fallon is standing in front of Ryan and Amy. They are in a dimly-lit alley.]] / Fallon: OK. / I've set up a parley with the chief of the local Pistons chapter. / We'll sort this Shelley thing out. / You two wait here and- / <> / [[Fallon turns away down the alley, talking on...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Fallon Young: OK. I've set up a parley with the chief of the local Pistons chapter. We'll sort this Shelley thing out. You two wait here and- / <> / Fallon Young: Tristian! Well, I'm pretty busy... what? Power crazed ex-CIA man? Hooks for hands? OK, I'll be there in thirty minutes! / Fallon...
July 2, 2004 [[Amy and Ryan are sitting at a bar with the Cheeky Pistons.]] / Ryan: Did you know that motorbikes were invoted by the Count of Monte Cristo? / [[THOUGHTS: A man with a big white wig is riding a bicycle with a wild boar on the back of it.]] / Ryan: But because there were no engines in those days, he...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan Beckwith: Did you know that motorbikes were invented by the Count of Monte Cristo? But because there were no engines in those days, he tied a wild boar to the back and it just pedalled like CRAZY. That's why engines make that growling noise, it's meant to be like a boar. / Ryan Beckwith: Yeah then...
July 5, 2004 [[Ryan is sitting with one of the members of the Cheeky Pistons, who is wearing a black leather jacket.]] / Ryan: See now the reason I'm sitting down with you is to ask why you shot my friend Shelley. / Biker in black jacket: "Shelley"? / The only scheduled administrative clear-up that week was VAL DeVERE. / [[Ryan...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan Beckwith: See now the reason I'm sitting down with you is to ask why you shot my friend Shelley / Pit Bull McClane: "Shelley"? The only scheduled administrative clear-up that week was VAL DeVERE. / Cheeky Pistons Member: Barmaid at the Raggedf Stoat tipped us off that the red haired bird was Val. / Ryan...
July 6, 2004 [[Ryan and Amy are standing together. Amy is holding out a license with her picture and the emblem of the Cheeky Pistons.]] / Ryan: ...so it turned out that Amy's tattoos and cussing automatically made her a member in good standing of the Cheeky Pistons. / Amy: If I get on so much as a tricycle, expect...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan Beckwith: ...so it turned out that Amy's tattoos and cussing automatically made her a member in good standing of the Cheeky Pistons. / Amy Chilton: If I get on so much as a tricycle, expect mayhem. / Shelley Winters: Well thanks for filling me with hot lead, "Dame Barbara Cartland". / Amy Chilton:...
July 7, 2004 [[Natalie is standing on the entrance to the space bridge.]] / Natalie: Space bridge, you better listen up and listen good! / Natalie: Natalie Durand is not afraid of anything! / Natalie: Pah! What is to fear! If stick-girl Shelley can cross ze bridge.... / Natalie: ....it will be a breeze for a tough...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Natalie Durand: Space bridge, you better listen up and listen good! Natalie Durand is not afraid of anything! / Natalie Durand: Pah! What is to fear! If stick-girl Shelley can cross zis bridge... ...it will be a breeze for a tough nut like me! / Natalie Durand: In any case, I am declaring my greatest...
 
July 8, 2004 [[Rachel and Tessa's phone at their apartment is ringing. Above the phone is a picture of Rachel and Tessa, but no one is home.]] / Answering machine: Tessa and Rachel aren't here. / We too busy for YOU! / Leave a message. / Rachel (on the phone): Tessa, pick up!! / This is Rachel!! / I'm in stupid big trouble!!! / [[Rachel...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Answering Machine: Tessa and Rachel aren't here. We too busy for YOU! leave a message. / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: Tessa, pick up!! This is Rachel!! I'm in stupid big trouble!!! / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: The police were waiting for me outside the pub, I gave them the slip but... / <> / [[Members...
July 9, 2004 [[A group of the Cheeky Pistons have surrounded Rachel and are standing on a bridge. All the bikers are wearing their helmets, hiding their faces. The first biker has a grey helmet, the second has a yellow one, and the third has a black one.]] / Grey helmet: Do you know what ain't very nice? / When someone...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Member of the Cheeky Pistons: Do you know what ain't very nice? When someone tries to stitch up someone else. In no uncertain terms is we not in favour of that. / Member of the Cheeky Pistons: So when a someone tricks a legitimate motorcycle club to put bullets in... in... / Other Member of the Cheeky...
July 12, 2004 [[Rachel is hurtling down towards the ground after having been thrown off a bridge.]] / Rachel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! / <> / [[The arm of an unseen person grabs Rachel's collar, stopping her fall.]] / Arm: Stop right there, young lady. / A moment of your time, please. / [[The person holding Rachel's...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Rachel is falling from the bridge.]] / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA / Satan: Stop right there, young lady. A moment of your time, please. / <> / Satan: I'm looking for crazy, naughty young things to play for my team. What do you say? If you don't like the idea, you can be...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan and Fallon in kitchen.]] / Ryan: Fallon, I been thinkin' hard and leaving me and Amy to deal with a tough murderin' biker gang on our own was kind of a "relationship problem". / Fallon: Oh, Ryan! I had no doubt you could sweet talk a few oily rags. And Amy's the kind of brassy dame who'd remind...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan Beckwith: Fallon, I been thinkin' hard and leaving me and Amy to deal with a tough murderin' biker gang on our own was kind of a "relationship problem". / Fallon Young: Oh, Ryan! I had no doubt you could sweet talk a few oily rags. And Amy's the kind of brassy dame who'd remind them of their dear...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley and amy will rolling countryside walking to residence.]] / Amy: What was it like in the coma, Shelley? / Shelly: I had a very insane dream! We made a transvestite sneeze out his teeth, and a goth bit me in the head. She was a handsome woman, but with a very lax attitude towards cranial integrity....
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: What was it like in the coma, Shelley? / Shelley Winters: I had a very insane dream! We made a transvestite sneeze out his teeth, and a goth bit me in the head. She was a handsome woman, but with a very lax attitude towards cranial integrity. Haw haw. / Amy Chilton: You say "we", was I in...
 
Scary Go Round 20040715 [[Natalie in the grip of her horse nemesis]] / Natalie: Ah, so zis is how it ends. Trapped in ze dread grip of ze ghost horse Weasel Cheese. LE SIGH. / < / Natalie: Deliver ze death blow, idiot 'orse! Stop staggering on your back legs like ze sailor on shore leave! / <> / [[Natalie...
July 15, 2004 [[Natalie is being held by a demonic winged horse with glowing red eyes.]] / Natalie: Ah, so zis is how it ends. / Trapped in ze dread grip of ze ghost horse Weasel Cheese. / LE SIGH. / [[The horse, still clutching Natalie, is staggering backwards on her back legs.]] / Natalie: Deliver ze death blow, idiot...
July 16, 2004 [[Rachel enters the room, to discover William and Tessa making out on the couch.]] / Rachel: Oh uh... / Sorry! / [[Rachel flees, with Tessa standing up and following her.]] / Tessa: Rachel! / [[Tessa has followed Rachel into the ladies' room. Rachel has her hands over her face.]] / Rachel: Well that was...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: Oh uh... Sorry! / [[Tessa Davies and Will are together on the couch.]] / Tessa Davies: Rachel! / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: Well that was a lovely sight. I hope you were going to turn the sofa cushions over when you finished. / Tessa Davies: We were going to tell you about...
The Best Monkey In The World stars in {{The Best Monkey In The World}} / [[Title Screen for a film]] / The Best Monkey In The World - Stars in - "Crank Call Tragedy!" - A Quinn Martin Production / [[Monkey walking along listening to a cordless telephone]] / Telephone: I'm afraid I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The Best Monkey in the World stars in "Crank Call Tragedy!" A Quinn Martin Production]] / Answering Machine: I'm afraid I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message after the tone, I'll get right back to you. / The Best Monkey in the World: Oop awk ack ack ack!!! Oop ack ack ack...
Scary Go Round 2004.08.13 Shelley: Awl the boyys, think she's a spaaaah, she's got... / Amy: Betty Davis Ahhhhhhs... / Shelley: Ames, if you had Bette Davis' eyes, would you use them for good or evil? / Amy: I'd keep them in a jar and use them to freak people out. Then when I got bored, I'd sell them on Ebay. / Shelley:...
August 13, 2004 [[Shelley is sitting at her computer, singing.]] / Shelley (singing): Awl the boyyys, think she's a spaaaaahhhh, she's got... / [[Amy is sitting nearby, reading and singing.]] / Amy (singing): Betty Davis ahhhhhhhhss... / Shelley: Ames, if you had Bette Davis' eyes, would you use them for good or evil? / Amy:...
Scary Go Round 20040816 [[Ernest, unknown inventor/professor, and The Boy in scene]] / Inventor: Go on then Jonesy, tell us what it is. / Tim: Gents, this is the Trouble-O-Tron. It detects problematic situations. / Tim: The active ingredient is a mug of hot blackcurrant drink free-standing on a disc of Axminster shag-pile rug. / Ernest:...
August 16, 2004 [[Tim and Amy are standing with a trio of men. Amy is holding a pot of hot drink and Tim is holding a weird-looking device with a coffee cup on top of it.]] / Goatee man: Go on then Jonesy, tell us what it is. / Tim: Gents, this is the trouble-o-tron. / It detects problematic situations. / [[The three...
 
August 17 [[Ernest, a grey-bearded man, is standing in a doorway.]] / Ernest: Tim, you remind me of a lad I knew when I was workin' aboard the HMS Gorbals. / [[Tim is standing next to Ernest.]] / Tim: Was he- / Ernest: He was rent in twain by a giant squid, that inky behemoth of the unknown deep. / [[Amy and Tim...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ernest: Tim, you remind me of a lad I knew when I was workin' aboard the HMS Gorbals. / Tim Jones: Was he- / Ernest: He was rent in twain by a giant squid, that inky behemoth of the unknown deep. / Amy Chilton: Was it hard to be out at sea without women, Ernest? / Ernest: It could make a man mad! Many...
August 18, 2004 [[Shelley and Natalie are standing next to a set of shelves.]] / Shelley: Did you have a good time with the inventors? / Natalie: Oh yeah. / There was some pretty racy talk about diodes. / Apparently the diode is the burly sasquatch of the electronics world! / Shelley: Well I made a thing while you were...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Did you have a good time with the inventors? / Amy Chilton: Oh yeah. There was some pretty racy talk about diodes. Apparently the diode is the burly Sasquatch of the electronics world! / Shelley Winters: Well, I made a thing while you were out! Look! / Amy Chilton: "Star Wars 3: The Saddest...
August 19, 2004 [[A sad-looking wookie is riding in the backseat of a yellow taxicab.]] / Narrator: Blackness, blackness! / Why do you mock this simple wookie, o sable cape of night? / FIN. / [[Amy is lying on her bed in her undies.]] / Amy: Look at the time! / Shelley sure pens a compelling screenplay. / [[Amy is standing...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Saddest Wookie: Blackness, blackness! Why do you mock this simple Wookie, O sable cape of night? / Text: FIN. / Amy Chilton: Look at the time! Shelley sure pens a compelling screenplay. / Amy Chilton: I enjoyed "The Saddest Wookie", but I couldn't really tell why he was so sad. / Shelley Winters:...
Scary Go Round 20040820 Amy: Good morning, The Boy! Tim's in the garage. / The Boy: Mornin'. / The Boy: What's the best thing to do when you like a girl but you're not sure she likes you? / Tim: You do what Man has done since the year 1950... / Tim: ...You shin up a tree outside her bedroom window with a set of binoculars...
August 20, 2004 [[The Boy is walking towards Amy, with a love-stricken expression on his face.]] / Amy: Good morning, the Boy! / Tim's in the garage. / The Boy: Mornin' / [[Tim and the Boy are in a garage, unpacking boxes and organizing their contents.]] / The Boy: What's the best thing to do when you like a girl but you're...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The Boy daydreaming]] / Amy with your skin so milky / and your thighs (undoubtedly) silky / Be my girl, I'll never nag you / Can't count the ways I'd like to - / The Mother: The Boy! Come down for your dinner! / The Mother: I'm not telling you again! / The Mother: Come and get it or I'll put it inside the...
August 23, 2004 [[Amy is pictured walking though a field of sunflowers.]] / Narrator: Amy with your skin so milky / And your thighs (undoubtedly) silky / Be my girl, I'll never nag you / Count the ways I'd like to- / Unseen speaker: THE BOY! Come down for your dinner! / [[The boy's mother is standing at the bottom of the...
 

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