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| June 17, 2004 | [[Black Betty has Shelley and Natalie cornered in a closet. She is advancing on them with tongs.]]
/ Black Betty: A debt is a debt, gents.
/ Don't fea, my ole friend the Queen mother assures me that peanuts make excellent substitute teeth.
/ Natalie: 'Oly 'ell, we 'ave badly misjudged ze situation! / [[Shelley... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040617 |
| scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040617 | Black Betty: A debt is a debt, gents. Don't fear, my ole friend the Queen Mother assures me that peanuts make excellent substitute teeth. / Natalie Durand: 'Oly 'ell, we 'ave badly misjudged ze situation! / [[Shelley reaches for a pepper mill on the shelf behind her.]] / [[Shelley cranks the pepper mill... |
| June 18, 2004 | [[Shelley's body is lying in a cot in a hospital room. Fallon and Ryan are sitting next to the bed.]]
/ Ryan: What's the prognosis?
/ Fallon: She's in a coma.
/ One bullet collapsed her lung, and she lost a lot of blood.
/ It's just a question now of how much she wants to live. / [[Ralph enters the room.]]
/ Ryan:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040618 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: What's the prognosis?
/ Fallon Young: She's in a coma. One bullet collapsed her lung, and she lost a lot of blood. It's just a question now of how much she wants to live. / Ryan Beckwith: Ralph, I don't think you're allowed back here.
/ Ralph: Modern medicine, BAH! Mere quackery! There's... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040618 |
| June 21, 2004 | [[Leppo is poking at his newly returned teeth with a toothpick. Natalie and Shelley are standing next to him.]]
/ Leppo: Ahhh!
/ That's the toothy feeling I remember!
/ Natalie: I am not so sure zat I wish to spend quality time with M. Leppo any more...
/ Shelley: We got your gums back, now spit it out,... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040621 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Leppo: Ahhh! That's the toothy feeling I remember!
/ Natalie Durand: I am not so sure zat I wish to spen quality time with M. Leppo any more...
/ Shelley Winters: We got your gums back, now spit it out, Gnasher! How do I get back to being a living, breathing, ass-shaking lady? / Leppo: Over yonder is... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040621 |
| June 22, 2004 | [[Shelley and Natalie are climbing over a fence to get to the space bridge.]]
/ Shelley: Are you going to try your luck on the space bridge, Nat?
/ Natalie: Does a mule's bottom stink to 'igh 'eaven?
/ It is ass squared!
/ YES! / [[Shelley and Natalie are hugging, next to the space bridge.]]
/ Shelley: Thank... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040622 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Winters: Are you going to try your luck on the space bridge, Nat?
/ Natalie Durand: Does a mule's bottom stink to 'igh 'eaven? It is ass squared! YES! / Shelley Winters: Thank you for being a kind friend, Natalie.
/ Natalie Durand: I will see you on ze other side! We will meet for drinks at ze... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040622 |
| June 23, 2004 | [[Shelley is standing next to Zombie Shelley.]]
/ Shelley: Sorry goth girl, but I have to deck you in order to live!
/ [[Shelley punches Zombie Shelley.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040623 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Winters: Sorry goth girl, but I have to deck you in order to live! It is nothing personal to lovers of the night!
/ < |
| June 24, 2004 | [[Zombie Shelley is standing behind Shelley, holding her up. Zombie Shelley has a demonic grin on her face and Shelley has blood leaking out of her head.]]
/ Zombie Shelley: Mmmm!
/ Lovely brainy goodness!!! / [[Zombie Shelley is clutching at her throat. Shelley is sticking her tongue out at her and... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040624 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Zombie Shelley Winters: Mmmmm! Lovely brainy goodness!!! / Zombie Shelley Winters: NGGGURRRRKK!
/ Shelley Winters: HA! I was thinking about poison, you sociopathic rotter! / [[Shelley makes a highly impolite gesture toward her poisoned zombie counterpart, against the background of the British flag.]]
/ Shelley... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040624 |
| June 25, 2004 | [[Amy and Ryan are sitting next to Shelley's hospital bed. The window is open, and a pair of long arms are sticking through the window.]]
/ Amy: What are THOSE?
/ Ryan: I think Ralph's trying to lay on hands from the car park. / [[Amy and Ryan are still sitting next to the bed. Amy has a magazine out;... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040625 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy Chilton: What are THOSE?
/ Ryan Beckwith: I think Ralph's trying to lay on hands from the car park. / Amy Chilton: It says here that walking sideways like a crab is the new walking forward and backwards.
/ Ryan Beckwith: There's desp'ration in that article. Desp'ration like a crow tryin' to eat a... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040625 |
| June 28, 2004 | [[Amy is pushing Shelley in a wheelchair. They are outside of the hospital.]]
/ Amy: ...so anyway they shocked you!
/ And bagged you!
/ With a C-SPAN, MSNBC, stat!
/ Can you remember anything that happened?
/ Shelley: Men on bikes!
/ They said "this is for Rodney in Brixton prison", then BLAM!
/ Motorcycle... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040628 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy Chilton: ...so anyway they shocked you! And bagged you! With a C-SPAN, MSNBC, stat! Can you remember anything that happened?
/ Shelley Winters: Men on bikes! They said "this is for Rodney in Brixton prison", then BLAM! Motorcycle death guns! / Shelley Winters: But there is one thing I have to ask.... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040628 |
| June 29, 2004 | [[Ryan and Fallon are sitting at the bar. Tessa is mixing drinks, Rachel is hiding under the bar.]]
/ Fallon: Why would the Cheeky Pistons have shot Shelley?
/ They love to do crime, but not in an irresponsible way.
/ Ryan: Could it have been mistaken identity?
/ It is easy to make a mistake. / Fallon:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040629 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Fallon Young: Why would the Cheeky Pistons have shot Shelley? They love to do crime, but not in an irresponsible way.
/ Ryan Beckwith: Could it have been mistaken identity? It is easy to make a mistake. / Fallon Young: But Shelley doesn't look like the sort of person that a biker gang would have a beef... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040629 |
| June 30, 2004 | [[William and Rachel are standing next to each other. Rachel has an evil smile on her face.]]
/ William: Rachel, you nearly got that Shelley girl killed.
/ Rachel: I know, I know.
/ MUST TRY HARDER. / [[William and Rachel are arguing in front of Tessa, who is sitting on a couch, reading.]]
/ William: What's... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040630 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Will: Rachel, you nearly got that Shelley girl killed.
/ Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: I know, I know. MUST TRY HARDER. / Will: What's your problem with her?
/ Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: She annoys me on an existential level, and I have very poor impulse control, WILLY. / Will: You have to own up to what... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040630 |
| July 1, 2004 | [[Fallon is standing in front of Ryan and Amy. They are in a dimly-lit alley.]]
/ Fallon: OK.
/ I've set up a parley with the chief of the local Pistons chapter.
/ We'll sort this Shelley thing out.
/ You two wait here and-
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040701 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Fallon Young: OK. I've set up a parley with the chief of the local Pistons chapter. We'll sort this Shelley thing out. You two wait here and-
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040701 |
| July 2, 2004 | [[Amy and Ryan are sitting at a bar with the Cheeky Pistons.]]
/ Ryan: Did you know that motorbikes were invoted by the Count of Monte Cristo? / [[THOUGHTS: A man with a big white wig is riding a bicycle with a wild boar on the back of it.]]
/ Ryan: But because there were no engines in those days, he... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040702 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Did you know that motorbikes were invented by the Count of Monte Cristo? But because there were no engines in those days, he tied a wild boar to the back and it just pedalled like CRAZY. That's why engines make that growling noise, it's meant to be like a boar. / Ryan Beckwith: Yeah then... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040702 |
| July 5, 2004 | [[Ryan is sitting with one of the members of the Cheeky Pistons, who is wearing a black leather jacket.]]
/ Ryan: See now the reason I'm sitting down with you is to ask why you shot my friend Shelley.
/ Biker in black jacket: "Shelley"?
/ The only scheduled administrative clear-up that week was VAL DeVERE. / [[Ryan... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040705 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: See now the reason I'm sitting down with you is to ask why you shot my friend Shelley
/ Pit Bull McClane: "Shelley"? The only scheduled administrative clear-up that week was VAL DeVERE. / Cheeky Pistons Member: Barmaid at the Raggedf Stoat tipped us off that the red haired bird was Val.
/ Ryan... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040705 |
| July 6, 2004 | [[Ryan and Amy are standing together. Amy is holding out a license with her picture and the emblem of the Cheeky Pistons.]]
/ Ryan: ...so it turned out that Amy's tattoos and cussing automatically made her a member in good standing of the Cheeky Pistons.
/ Amy: If I get on so much as a tricycle, expect... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040706 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: ...so it turned out that Amy's tattoos and cussing automatically made her a member in good standing of the Cheeky Pistons.
/ Amy Chilton: If I get on so much as a tricycle, expect mayhem. / Shelley Winters: Well thanks for filling me with hot lead, "Dame Barbara Cartland".
/ Amy Chilton:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040706 |
| July 7, 2004 | [[Natalie is standing on the entrance to the space bridge.]]
/ Natalie: Space bridge, you better listen up and listen good!
/ Natalie: Natalie Durand is not afraid of anything! / Natalie: Pah! What is to fear! If stick-girl Shelley can cross ze bridge....
/ Natalie: ....it will be a breeze for a tough... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040707 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Natalie Durand: Space bridge, you better listen up and listen good! Natalie Durand is not afraid of anything! / Natalie Durand: Pah! What is to fear! If stick-girl Shelley can cross zis bridge... ...it will be a breeze for a tough nut like me! / Natalie Durand: In any case, I am declaring my greatest... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040707 |
| July 8, 2004 | [[Rachel and Tessa's phone at their apartment is ringing. Above the phone is a picture of Rachel and Tessa, but no one is home.]]
/ Answering machine: Tessa and Rachel aren't here.
/ We too busy for YOU!
/ Leave a message.
/ Rachel (on the phone): Tessa, pick up!!
/ This is Rachel!!
/ I'm in stupid big trouble!!! / [[Rachel... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040708 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Answering Machine: Tessa and Rachel aren't here. We too busy for YOU! leave a message.
/ Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: Tessa, pick up!! This is Rachel!! I'm in stupid big trouble!!! / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: The police were waiting for me outside the pub, I gave them the slip but...
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040708 |
| July 9, 2004 | [[A group of the Cheeky Pistons have surrounded Rachel and are standing on a bridge. All the bikers are wearing their helmets, hiding their faces. The first biker has a grey helmet, the second has a yellow one, and the third has a black one.]]
/ Grey helmet: Do you know what ain't very nice?
/ When someone... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040709 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Member of the Cheeky Pistons: Do you know what ain't very nice? When someone tries to stitch up someone else. In no uncertain terms is we not in favour of that. / Member of the Cheeky Pistons: So when a someone tricks a legitimate motorcycle club to put bullets in... in...
/ Other Member of the Cheeky... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040709 |
| July 12, 2004 | [[Rachel is hurtling down towards the ground after having been thrown off a bridge.]]
/ Rachel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040712 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Rachel is falling from the bridge.]]
/ Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA / Satan: Stop right there, young lady. A moment of your time, please.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040712 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan and Fallon in kitchen.]] / Ryan: Fallon, I been thinkin' hard and leaving me and Amy to deal with a tough murderin' biker gang on our own was kind of a "relationship problem". / Fallon: Oh, Ryan! I had no doubt you could sweet talk a few oily rags. And Amy's the kind of brassy dame who'd remind... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040713 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Fallon, I been thinkin' hard and leaving me and Amy to deal with a tough murderin' biker gang on our own was kind of a "relationship problem".
/ Fallon Young: Oh, Ryan! I had no doubt you could sweet talk a few oily rags. And Amy's the kind of brassy dame who'd remind them of their dear... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040713 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley and amy will rolling countryside walking to residence.]] / Amy: What was it like in the coma, Shelley? / Shelly: I had a very insane dream! We made a transvestite sneeze out his teeth, and a goth bit me in the head. She was a handsome woman, but with a very lax attitude towards cranial integrity.... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040714 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy Chilton: What was it like in the coma, Shelley?
/ Shelley Winters: I had a very insane dream! We made a transvestite sneeze out his teeth, and a goth bit me in the head. She was a handsome woman, but with a very lax attitude towards cranial integrity. Haw haw. / Amy Chilton: You say "we", was I in... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040714 |
| Scary Go Round 20040715 | [[Natalie in the grip of her horse nemesis]]
/ Natalie: Ah, so zis is how it ends. Trapped in ze dread grip of ze ghost horse Weasel Cheese. LE SIGH.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040715 |
| July 15, 2004 | [[Natalie is being held by a demonic winged horse with glowing red eyes.]]
/ Natalie: Ah, so zis is how it ends.
/ Trapped in ze dread grip of ze ghost horse Weasel Cheese.
/ LE SIGH. / [[The horse, still clutching Natalie, is staggering backwards on her back legs.]]
/ Natalie: Deliver ze death blow, idiot... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040715 |
| July 16, 2004 | [[Rachel enters the room, to discover William and Tessa making out on the couch.]]
/ Rachel: Oh uh...
/ Sorry! / [[Rachel flees, with Tessa standing up and following her.]]
/ Tessa: Rachel! / [[Tessa has followed Rachel into the ladies' room. Rachel has her hands over her face.]]
/ Rachel: Well that was... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040716 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: Oh uh... Sorry!
/ [[Tessa Davies and Will are together on the couch.]] / Tessa Davies: Rachel! / Rachel Dukakis-Monteforte: Well that was a lovely sight. I hope you were going to turn the sofa cushions over when you finished.
/ Tessa Davies: We were going to tell you about... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040716 |
| The Best Monkey In The World stars in | {{The Best Monkey In The World}}
/ [[Title Screen for a film]]
/ The Best Monkey In The World - Stars in - "Crank Call Tragedy!" - A Quinn Martin Production / [[Monkey walking along listening to a cordless telephone]]
/ Telephone: I'm afraid I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040804 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Best Monkey in the World stars in "Crank Call Tragedy!" A Quinn Martin Production]] / Answering Machine: I'm afraid I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message after the tone, I'll get right back to you. / The Best Monkey in the World: Oop awk ack ack ack!!! Oop ack ack ack... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040804 |
| Scary Go Round 2004.08.13 | Shelley: Awl the boyys, think she's a spaaaah, she's got... / Amy: Betty Davis Ahhhhhhs... / Shelley: Ames, if you had Bette Davis' eyes, would you use them for good or evil? / Amy: I'd keep them in a jar and use them to freak people out. Then when I got bored, I'd sell them on Ebay. / Shelley:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040813 |
| August 13, 2004 | [[Shelley is sitting at her computer, singing.]]
/ Shelley (singing): Awl the boyyys, think she's a spaaaaahhhh, she's got... / [[Amy is sitting nearby, reading and singing.]]
/ Amy (singing): Betty Davis ahhhhhhhhss... / Shelley: Ames, if you had Bette Davis' eyes, would you use them for good or evil? / Amy:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040813 |
| Scary Go Round 20040816 | [[Ernest, unknown inventor/professor, and The Boy in scene]]
/ Inventor: Go on then Jonesy, tell us what it is.
/ Tim: Gents, this is the Trouble-O-Tron. It detects problematic situations. / Tim: The active ingredient is a mug of hot blackcurrant drink free-standing on a disc of Axminster shag-pile rug.
/ Ernest:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040816 |
| August 16, 2004 | [[Tim and Amy are standing with a trio of men. Amy is holding a pot of hot drink and Tim is holding a weird-looking device with a coffee cup on top of it.]]
/ Goatee man: Go on then Jonesy, tell us what it is.
/ Tim: Gents, this is the trouble-o-tron.
/ It detects problematic situations. / [[The three... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040816 |
| August 17 | [[Ernest, a grey-bearded man, is standing in a doorway.]]
/ Ernest: Tim, you remind me of a lad I knew when I was workin' aboard the HMS Gorbals. / [[Tim is standing next to Ernest.]]
/ Tim: Was he-
/ Ernest: He was rent in twain by a giant squid, that inky behemoth of the unknown deep. / [[Amy and Tim... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040817 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ernest: Tim, you remind me of a lad I knew when I was workin' aboard the HMS Gorbals. / Tim Jones: Was he-
/ Ernest: He was rent in twain by a giant squid, that inky behemoth of the unknown deep. / Amy Chilton: Was it hard to be out at sea without women, Ernest?
/ Ernest: It could make a man mad! Many... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040817 |
| August 18, 2004 | [[Shelley and Natalie are standing next to a set of shelves.]]
/ Shelley: Did you have a good time with the inventors?
/ Natalie: Oh yeah.
/ There was some pretty racy talk about diodes.
/ Apparently the diode is the burly sasquatch of the electronics world! / Shelley: Well I made a thing while you were... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040818 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Winters: Did you have a good time with the inventors?
/ Amy Chilton: Oh yeah. There was some pretty racy talk about diodes. Apparently the diode is the burly Sasquatch of the electronics world! / Shelley Winters: Well, I made a thing while you were out! Look!
/ Amy Chilton: "Star Wars 3: The Saddest... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040818 |
| August 19, 2004 | [[A sad-looking wookie is riding in the backseat of a yellow taxicab.]]
/ Narrator: Blackness, blackness!
/ Why do you mock this simple wookie, o sable cape of night?
/ FIN. / [[Amy is lying on her bed in her undies.]]
/ Amy: Look at the time!
/ Shelley sure pens a compelling screenplay. / [[Amy is standing... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040819 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Saddest Wookie: Blackness, blackness! Why do you mock this simple Wookie, O sable cape of night?
/ Text: FIN. / Amy Chilton: Look at the time! Shelley sure pens a compelling screenplay. / Amy Chilton: I enjoyed "The Saddest Wookie", but I couldn't really tell why he was so sad.
/ Shelley Winters:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040819 |
| Scary Go Round 20040820 | Amy: Good morning, The Boy! Tim's in the garage.
/ The Boy: Mornin'. / The Boy: What's the best thing to do when you like a girl but you're not sure she likes you?
/ Tim: You do what Man has done since the year 1950... / Tim: ...You shin up a tree outside her bedroom window with a set of binoculars... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040820 |
| August 20, 2004 | [[The Boy is walking towards Amy, with a love-stricken expression on his face.]]
/ Amy: Good morning, the Boy!
/ Tim's in the garage.
/ The Boy: Mornin' / [[Tim and the Boy are in a garage, unpacking boxes and organizing their contents.]]
/ The Boy: What's the best thing to do when you like a girl but you're... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040820 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Boy daydreaming]]
/ Amy with your skin so milky
/ and your thighs (undoubtedly) silky
/ Be my girl, I'll never nag you
/ Can't count the ways I'd like to -
/ The Mother: The Boy! Come down for your dinner! / The Mother: I'm not telling you again!
/ The Mother: Come and get it or I'll put it inside the... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040823 |
| August 23, 2004 | [[Amy is pictured walking though a field of sunflowers.]]
/ Narrator: Amy with your skin so milky
/ And your thighs (undoubtedly) silky
/ Be my girl, I'll never nag you
/ Count the ways I'd like to-
/ Unseen speaker: THE BOY! Come down for your dinner! / [[The boy's mother is standing at the bottom of the... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040823 |
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