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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Salesman: How can I help you, madam? / Shelley Winters: I'd like a car in black with: underwater capabilities, intelligent computer capable of "wisecracks", super-extreme pursuit mode, good suspension for high speed leaps off underpass slash broken bridge. / Shelley Winters: He laughed so hard that he...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelly enters a store where a fat man with a yamaka reads a newspaper behind a desk]] / <> / <> / Shelly: Excuse me, do you... Hello? / [[Shelly stands in front of the man's desk]] / fat man: The cash register is broken, I'm not selling anything today. / [[Shelly places her purse...
2004-11-18 Fallon Young: Listen to this, Shelley, Ryan can instantly come up with an inadequate answer to any political problem. Rural unemployment? / Ryan Beckwith: Get people workin' on new regional cheeses. / Fallon Young: President Bush's poor foreign policy record? / Ryan Beckwith: Get him to chill out with...
2004-11-19 [[Shelley, on her aqua-scooter, zooms on the open ocean toward the Portuguese Man-of War.]] / Portuguese Man-of-War: Jaysus Christ, what is that?!! / Shelley Winters: Prepare to meet justice! Your reign of terr'r is almost over! / Portuguese Man-of-War: Ey! Ey! We can talk about this! I will avoid the...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Fallon Young: Are you sure we should have let Shelley go out to sea like that? / Ryan Beckwith: Aw, let her have her simple fun. There's joy in the simple things. If you hadn't wanted to be my lady, I was going to be a hermit. / Ryan Beckwith: Hangin' out under a primitive tarpaulin. Jus' wearin' a loose...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Jellyfish: Shelley, there is one thing you gotta understand. To these guys, I am top banana. / Jellfyfish: And maybe I told them a few little white lies 'bout how people been chowin' on Manowar steaks. / Shelley: Awful lies! / Jellyfish: Hell, it don't matter. Me and the guys are headin' ashore in a...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Jellyfish: BOYS, IT'S STINGIFYIN' TIME! / Jellyfish: Do not worry, Shelley. / Jellyfish: It is well known that the excruciating pain faes with the onset of death/dying. / Jellyfish: A bulbous nematode approaches! Abort stinging, proceed to surface for Operation "Two Legs Bad!" / Ernest: Jonesy, I've...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Tim! Leering bearded man! We must alert the Coastguard, the Portuguese Men-O-War are mobilising! / Tim: Shelley, you're delerious from the oxygen. The Manowar is a peaceful critter, like an aquatic goat. / Shelley: Must... seize controls... for the good of society... / Ernest: Who is this wildcat,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: No, that's fine! Just leave me on the beach to rebuild our shattered society! THAT'S FINE! / Jellyfish: Eh... can I get a hand... here / Shelley: Man-O-war! Why haven't you started destroying humanity like what you said? / Jellyfish: Kind of a minor miscalculation. Turns out walking ain't just...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat / Shelley: Please put a penny in some old man's hat. / Shelley: If you haven't got a penny then a bottle top will do / Shelley: If you haven't got a bottle top then God-bless-spew. / Shelley: Oh Ames, why do you have to give your life over to the cultivation...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley Winters standing outside in a bathrobe on a clear moonlit night, holding eggs from the hen house in a pan]] / Shelley: christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat / Shelley: please put a penny in some old man's hat. / Shelley: if you haven't got a penny then a bottle top will do / Shelley: if...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: You may not be able to tell by my calm demeanour, but I am a supernova of rage right now. / Amy: Hey! / Shelley: As a taxpayer, I deserve not to be frightened by naked men in my kitchen! / Shelley: I've put up with the filth and the sounds of unbridled romantic congress, but- / Amy: Shelley, why...
2004-12-01 Amy Chilton: Shelley, let's talk about this, you don't have to move out. / Shelley Winters: Once my ire has dimmed, we can be friends again, Amy. You just need your space to explore Planet Debauchery. / Amy Chilton: (Sniffle) but I will miss you! / Shelley Winters: Save your tears, stinky, they will not...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley and Ryan are sitting on the floor playing a game of scrabble. Shelley is placing a tile]] / Ryan: Dang Shelley, homeless at Christmas. That's like a case of lockjaw the night before a pie-eating content. / Shelley: I suppose it is. Just not in any way that's immediately apparent. / Scrabble tiles:...
2004-12-03 Fallon Young: Shel, if you want your old room back, you can have it. / Shelley Winters: Fallon, living with you is the best of times for a human girl. But what of the ninja infestation? / Fallon Young: Why don't you and Ryan hammer some wood over the hole they get in through. I keep meaning to do it,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Fallon: Shel, if you want your old room back, you can have it. / Shelley: Fallon, living with you is the best of times for a human girl. / But what of the ninja infestation? / Fallon: Why don't you and Ryan hammer some wood over the hole they get in through. / I keep meaning to do it, but you know you...
2004-12-06 Shelley Winters: Back, ninjas, back! This is a shoeing that says "retreat"! / Ryan Beckwith: Careful Shelley, they're just doin' their job. No need to be vicious. / Shelley Winters: It seems strange to me that a compost heap could form a gateway to feudal Japan. / Ryan Beckwith: Maybe someone just tipped...
Scary Go Round Back, ninjas, back! This is a shoeing that says "retreat"! / Careful Shelley, they're just doin' their job. No need to be vicious. / It seems strange to me that a compost heap could form a gateway to feudal Japan. / Maybe someone just tipped a load of potato peelings on top of their nest and riled...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan and Shelley admire their work closing up a hole where ninjas kept coming out of]] / Shelley: All done! Christmas is safe from shuriken. / Ryan: Any dude tries to crawl through there is going to wish he was the last ninja. / [[Shelley puts a hammer in the toolbox]] / Shelley: So have you taken Fallon...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: My old man's the King of Tramps. The beckwith family for generations. / Shelley: There's a "King of the Tramps"? How can this be? / Ryan: It's an ancient tradition. My great-great grandfather punched some dude in the nose and stole his bag. The deal was set. There's even a trampin' code. / Tramping...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: See, Shelley, my old man's the King of the Tramps. / It's been in the Beckwith family for generations. / Shelley: There's a "King of the Tramps"? How can this be? / Ryan: It's an ancient tradition. My great great grandfather punched some dud in the nose and stole his bag. / The deal was set. / There's...
2004-12-09 [[Brown sign reads Tackleford Tip, Providing a home for soiled mattresses since 1969. TMBC Tackleford Metropolitan Borough Council.]] / Ryan Beckwith: Shelley, I don'tnow why you're draggin' me to the ancestral seat. The old man doesn't want to know me after I rejected the life of the road. He was groomin'...
2004-12-10 [[Down at the Tackleford Tip, where Pa Beckwith warms himself by a fire.]] / Pa Beckwith: Well look at you, son of mine, betrayin' the code with your washin' ways. / Ryan Beckwith: Pa, please. / Pa Beckwith: And who's this? Do you bring your bride for my approval? / Ryan Beckwith: No Pa, this is Shelley,...
2004-12-13 [[At the Tackleford Tip, where Pa Beckwith lives.]] / Shelley Winters: What sort of coffee is this, Mr. Beckwith? / Pa Beckwith: That's not coffee, missy, it's brewed mud from Baker's Tarn. The percolation of natural silts and minerals gives its full flavour. / Shelley Winters: Isn't Baker's Tarn downstream...
 
2004-12-14 Ryan Beckwith: So after Shelley had finished pukin', I got to thinking. Maybe it would be nice for the family to get together for Christmas. You know, for baby Jesus. / Riley Beckwith: Yes, I suppose... Ryan, this Christmas list is not helpful. / Riley Beckwith: "Something pointy. Something soft. Anything...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[RYAN and RILEY are sitting at a table; RYAN is writing]] / RYAN: So after Shelley had finished pukin', I got to thinking. / Maybe it would be nice for the family to get together for Christmas. / You know, for baby Jesus. / [[RILEY picks up the sheet of paper RYAN was working on]] / RILEY: Yes, I suppose......
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley sitting around at her office desk]] / Shelley: Think, Shelley, think. How can you reunite the Beckwith Family at this most wonderful time of the year? / [[Shelley looks at a Christmas card]] / Shelley: Baby Jesus, is it wrong to use my position as mayor's assistant to help Ryan? / [[Shelley...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison NARRATOR: In the 80s, Beefheart got his Magic back and kicked out some fresh jams with a new Band. / [[BEEFHEART is standing in front of a band, on a beach, holding an ice cream]] / BEEFHEART:[[singing]] Ice cream for crows! / NARRATOR: but after not bein' asked to sing on "We Are The World", he...
2004-12-16 [[At the mayor's office.]] / Shelley Winters: Norbert, where do we keep the tramp evicting forms? / Norbert: I don't know and I don't care, Shelley, it's snowing and they're sending us home. / Shelley Winters: Bah! / Shelley Winters: Precipitation cannot be allowed to stop local government! / Norbert:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Norbert, where do we keep the tramp evicting forms? / Norbert: I don't know and I don't care, Shelley, it's snowing and they're sending us home. / Shelley: Bah! / Shelley: Precipitation cannot be allowed to stop local government! / Norbert: Don't you think that moving on vagrants at Christmas...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Pa Beckwith is putting up some makeshift insulation when he hears a noise]] / <> / <> / [[Pa Beckwith picks up a yellow peg]] / Pa: That's strange... Someone's left some pegs. / [[Pa follows a trail of brightly colored pegs left in the snow. Picking them up as he goes]] / Pa: What a find. / [[Shelley...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[RYAN'S PA is putting up wallpaper in an shack]] / <> / RYAN'S PA: That's strange... / Someone's left some pegs. / [[RYAN'S PA follows the trail of pegs out into the snowy night]] / RYAN'S PA: What a find / [[we see that SHELLEY is laying the trail of pegs]] / RYAN'S PA: Waste not,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Pa Beckwith: The trail of pegs leads to...the humble Beckwith homestead? Like as not it's a Christmas miracle. A chance to fix the unfortunate happenings of my past, maybe. / [[Ryan is smoking outside as Pa Beckwith approaches him]] / Ryan: Pa, what the dickens are you doin' here? / Pa: Son, I felt...the...
2004-12-20 [[Outside the Beckwith home.]] / Pa Beckwith: The trail of pegs leads to... the humble Beckwith homestead? Like as not it's a Christmas miracle. A chance to fix the unfortunate happenings of my past, maybe. / Ryan Beckwith: Pa, what the dickens are you doin' here? / Pa Beckwith: Son, I felt... the time...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Riley and Ryan (and Friend Bat) are in the kitchen talking]] / Riley: I can't believe Ma just let Pa right back in after 20 years. / Ryan: Well, I was thinkin', maybe they have a deep and abidin' love. Or she's waitin' for the optimum moment to set about him with the rolling pin. / Ma Beckwith: So...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison RILEY: I can't believe Ma just let Pa right back in after 20 years. / RYAN: Well, I was thinkin', maybe they have a deep abidin' love. / RYAN: Or she's waitin' for the optimum moment to set about him with the rolling pin. / MA BECKWITH: So why are you here, Jim? If you decided to chip in for new school...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[RYAN, RYAN'S PA, and RILEY are working in the kitchen]] / RYAN: Pa, you seemed to get off awful light with Ma. / RYAN'S PA: Well, she was the one who didn't want to be Queen of the Tramps. / She said raising children on a diet of stale crumbs was wrong. / [[RYAN'S PA picks up a plastic bag]] / RYAN'S...
scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041222 Ryan Beckwith: Pa, you seemed to get off awful light with Ma. / Jim Beckwith: Well, she was the one who didn't want to be Queen of the Tramps. She said raising children on a diet of stale crumbs was wrong. / Jim Beckwith: But we both understood each other's point of view. / Ryan Beckwith: I guess compromisin's...
scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041223 Riley Beckwith: Ryan and Fallon have said they'll cook and stuff the magpie, Dad, so let's have a sit down. You can tell me a story about your rough and rowdy youth! / Jim Beckwith: Well, I was part of a group of roadmenders from Swatham who moved around the country. And we had a folk music band, Cock-a-Leeky...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Christmas at the Beckwith family home. Pa Beckwith is asleep on the couch when Fallon and Riley make an announcement]] / Riley: In tribute to Pa's festive rebel songs- / Fallon: And under the influence of dry sherry / Riley: -Fallon and I have formed a new band. "Sweethearts of the Rodeoh-no." / [[Fallon...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Christmas time. RYAN, RYAN'S PA, and RYAN'S MA are on the couch, while AMY and FALLON stand in front of them]] / [[AMY is holding what appears to be a mandolin]] / AMY: In tribute to Pa's festive rebel songs- / FALLON: And under the influence of dry sherry / AMY: -Fallon and I have formed a new band....
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Small panel: Shelley is listening to music on headphones.]] / Text: Shelley reviews John A's albums of the year (Hereby proving that it is "okay to rock") 20 - 17 / Shelley Winters [writing]: 20. ANIMAL COLLECTIVE - "Sung Tongs" / Shelley Winters [writing]: I know what this is, this is the music from...
 

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