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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Devil: Ow! You ass! Ow! Ow! You made a little bit of blood come out of my mouth!
/ Ryan: Maybe we can go... shoppin' tomorrow...
/ Shelley: Gappa-pow! / Ralph: Come on, Dev, let's get you home. It's a foolish customer tangles with a crossed lady.
/ Devil: Look! Blood! / Ralph: An angry woman is like... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021212 |
| December 12, 2002 | [[Ryan, Tim, and ZombieShelley are standing together. ZombieShelley has her fist out towards the Devil, who is poking at his mouth with his finger.]]
/ Devil: Ow!
/ You ASS!
/ Ow!
/ Ow!
/ You made a little bit of blood come out of my mouth!
/ Ryan: Maybe we can go... shoppin', tomorrow...
/ ZombieShelley:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021212 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Tim, when Ryan brought me round here, and I was all undead and smelly, you handled it very well. / Tim: I breathed through my mouth until we got you into the bath. Old army trick. Works for nerve gas, mustard gas, trumps... / Tim: Do dead girls trump?
/ Shelley: You'll know in five seconds... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021213 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Tim, when Ryan brought me round here, and I was all undead and smelly, you handled it very well. / Tim: I breathed through my mouth untl we got you into the bath. Old army trick. Works for nerve gas, mustard gas, trumps... / Tim: Do dead girls trump?
/ Shelley: You'll know in five second... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021213 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Daddy!
/ Professor Pickering: Hello Pootle, how did you enjoy your first term at art school? / Professor Pickering: Did you deconceptualise yoru preconceptions about external creativity and the inner child?
/ Amy: I drank a lot of cups of tea! / Professor Pickering: Amy, this is costing me a lot... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021217 |
| December 17, 2002 | [[Amy's father is picking her up at the Tackleford train station.]]
/ Amy: Daddy!
/ Amy's father: Hello Pootle, how did you enjoy your first term at art school? / Amy's father: Did you deconceptualise your preconceptions about external creativity and the inner child?
/ Amy: I drank a lot of cups of tea! / Amy's... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021217 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: What about you? Did you enjoy your first term as a lecturer?
/ Pickering: I did. / Pickering: There's something very inspiring about shaping young minds, knowing they'll be using what you teach them all their lives. / Amy: That's great!
/ Pickering: Also, the way a second-year's hair falls over... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021218 |
| December 18, 2002 | [[Amy and her father are in a parking lot, heading towards his car.]]
/ Amy: What about you?
/ Did you enjoy your first term as a lecturer?
/ Amy's father: I did. / Amy's father: There's something very inspiring about shaping young minds, knowing they'll be using what you teach them all their lives.
/ [[Amy's... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021218 |
| Scary Go Round 20021219 | Amy: Where's the fairy for the Christmas tree? / Len: Cecil chewed her face off last year. If was like a very small, intense 'Silence of the Lambs'. / Len: Amy, did you fall under an inky needle for several hours by accident or is it will re-writing time again?
/ Amy: Sweater, sweater, SWEATER! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021219 |
| December 19, 2002 | [[Amy is decorating the Christmas tree while her father cooks.]]
/ Amy: Where's the fairy for the Christmas tree? / Amy's father: Cecil chewed her face off last year.
/ It was like a very small, intense 'Silence of the Lambs'. / [[Amy's father comes in and sees her tattoos.]]
/ Amy's father: Amy, did... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021219 |
| Scary Go Round 20021220 | Len: My flawless little muffin... all ruined with tattoo ink...
/ Amy: See, I knew you would go nuts. / Amy: So I painted you five Phil Collins album covers as my end of term project.
/ Len: ...Phil? / Len: You sweet little overcompensater.
/ Amy: Happy Christmas, Daddy. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021220 |
| December 20, 2002 | [[Amy is talking to her father, who is banging his head on a table.]]
/ Amy's father: My flawless little muffin...
/ All ruined with tattoo ink...
/ Amy: See, I knew you would go nuts. / Amy: So I painted you five Phil Collins album covers as my end of term project.
/ Amy's father: ...Phil? / Amy's father:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20021220 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [Episode Cover] / Inevitable / 4 http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030105 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[A photograph of a woman with very light grey eyes and red hair.]]
/ INEVITABLE http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030105 |
| Scary Go Round 20030107 | Amy: Any sign of Shelley, Tim?
/ Tim: No, and I don't know where else I can look. / Amy: She left a note!
/ Tim: Let me see! / Amy: Damn.
/ Tim: Oh, man.
/ Shelley's note: Dear Tim, Ryan, and Amy, You have all been very kind to me since I came back as a zombie. But now I have to find out where I fit into... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030107 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Any sign of Shelley, Tim?
/ Tim:No, and I don't know where else I can look. / Amy: She left a note!
/ Tim: Let me see! / Amy:Damn
/ Tim: Oh Man.
/ [[A letter fills half the frame]]
/ [Dear Tim, Ryan and Amy, / You have all been vey kind to me since I cam back as a zombie. / But I have to find out... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030107 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley is looking out of a window. it's raining.]]
/ Shelley: Internal monologues are fun because you can say what you want and no one can tell how dramatic you're being.
/ Shelley: Such as "I have moved into this awful place because I am so poor and have no job oh dear". / [[Shelley walks the street... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030108 |
| January 8, 2003 | [[Shelley is looking out a window. It is raining outside.]]
/ Shelley (internal monologue): Internal monologues are fun because you can say what you want and no one can tell how dramatic you're being.
/ Such as "I have moved into this awful place because I am so poor and have no job oh dear." / Shelley... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030108 |
| Scary Go Round 20030109 | [[Shelley holds umbrella]]
/ Shelley: Now, I like the reassuring smell of dry rot as much as the next person, but I have my pride.
/ Shelley: I have to find a job so I can afford the important things in life, like sexy boots and chocolate. / Shelley: This would be easier if I hadn't been murdered, then... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030109 |
| January 9, 2003 | [[Shelley is walking down the street, holding an umbrella over her head. It is raining.]]
/ Shelley (internal monologue): Now, I like the reassuring smell of dry rot as much as the next person, but I have my pride.
/ I have to find a job so I can afford the important things in life, like sexy boots and... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030109 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley is at an employment agency.]]
/ Shelley: Once you're dead, your paperwork stops paperworking. The dead cease to exist! Obscene!
/ Shelley: Your now-invalid details don't seem to impress potential employers. / [[Shelley is thrown out of the employment agency into the rain. A stapler bounces off... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030110 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Zombified Shelley looks for work in a recruitment agency.]]
/ Shelley (internal monologue): Once you're dead, your paperwork stops paperworking. The dead cease to exist! Obscene!
/ Shelley (internal monologue): Your now-invalid details don't seem to impress potential employers. / [[Shelley is tossed... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030110 |
| Scary Go Round 20030114 | [[Cafe]]
/ Shelley: But if the legitimate economy doesn't want me, I'll have to hawk myself on the black market. As a freelance no-goodnik.
/ Shelley: Local businessman seeks discreet assistant. GBP300 p/w cash in hand. / Shelley: That is the most sinister classified ad ever. / Shelley: Dear Sir, As... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030114 |
| January 14, 2003 | [[Shelley is reading the newspaper in a cafe.]]
/ Shelley (internally): But if the legitimate economy doesn't want me, I'll have to hawk myself on the black market.
/ As a freelance no-goodnik.
/ Shelley (reading an advertisement out loud): Local businessman seeks discreet assistant.
/ $300 p/w cash in hand. / Shelley... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030114 |
| Scary Go Round 20030115 | [[Tim's house]]
/ Tim: Do you want to see my new truck? I paid Ryan GBP25 and he polished it for three solid days.
/ Ryan: Can't feel my hands... / Amy: Baby baby can I please be your girlfriend?
/ Tim: Come on Amy, let go.
/ Amy: Shut up man whose name I have forgotten.
/ Ryan: Hands... like claws... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030115 |
| January 15, 2003 | [[Amy, Tim, and Ryan were walking down the street towards Tim's house.]]
/ Tim: Do you want to see my new truck?
/ I paid Ryan $25 and he polished it for three solid days.
/ Ryan: Can't feel my hands... / [[Amy is embracing the shiny truck.]]
/ Amy: Baby BABY can I please be your girlfriend?
/ Tim: Come... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030115 |
| Scary Go Round 20030116 | [[Mail room, mailboxes]]
/ Shelley: A... letter! / Shelley: "Dear Miss Winters, you are invited for interview at Percy Import/Export. Sincerely, Hamilton Percy." Hamilton Percy! / Shelley: So anyway, when I arrive at the place, it's a big, dirty old red brick building, which is really disappointing.
/ Shelley:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030116 |
| January 16, 2003 | [[Shelley is checking her mail.]]
/ Shelley: A... letter! / Shelley (reading the letter): "Dear Miss Winters, you are invited for intervieww at Percy import/export.
/ Sincerely, Hamilton Percy."
/ Hamilton Percy! / Shelley (internal monologue): So anyway, when I arrive at the place, it's a big, dirty... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030116 |
| Scary Go Round 20030117 | Shelley: Shelley Winters.
/ Percy: Hamilton Percy. Now Shelley, I got a question. Do you know how to keep your mouth shut? / Shelley: Don't open it?
/ Percy: I can see we're going to get along. You've got the job. Welcome to Imports/Exports. / Shelley: Mr Percy is a firm but fair man. It is easy... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030117 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Shelley Winters.
/ Hamilton: Hamilton Percy. Now Shelley, I got a question. Do you know hot to keep your mouth shut? / Shelley: Don't open it?
/ Hamilton: I can see we're going to get along. You've got the job. Welcome to imports/exports. / Shelley (inner monologue): Mr. Percy is a... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030117 |
| Scary Go Round 20030121 | Shopgirl: Very nice, Shelley! It simultaneously says "businesslike" and "of the crypt".
/ Shelley: I can't wear this to work! My unruly charges are clearly visible to passers by. / Shopgirl: Okay, try this. 1940s vampire secretary.
/ Shelley: "Hello, passer-by. Meet my chests" / Shelley: Suddenly... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030121 |
| January 21, 2003 | [[Shelley is shopping in a goth store, talking to a saleswoman.]]
/ Saleswoman: Very nice, Shelley!
/ It simultaneously says "businesslike" and "of the crypt".
/ Shelley: I can't wear this to work!
/ My unruly charges are clearly visible to passers by. / Saleswoman: Okay, try this.
/ 1940s vampire secretary.
/ Shelley:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030121 |
| Scary Go Round 20030122 | Shelley: Your first day on a job is scary because places have all kinds of peculiar rules.
/ Percy: Don't ever, ever touch that brush, you understand? / Percy: Now this is your office. I got one of those top of the range Commodore 64 computers, right. That's what the government uses, right.
/ Shelley:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030122 |
| January 22, 2003 | [[Shelley is walking with Percy in the office building, as he shows her around.]]
/ Shelley (internally): Your first day on a job is scary because places have all kinds of peculiar rules.
/ Percy: Don't ever, ever touch that brush, you understand? / Percy: Now this is your office.
/ I got you one of those... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030122 |
| Scary Go Round 20030123 | Shelley: When I get home I try to make sure no one sees me. Because as far as I'm concerned, I represent the acceptable face of "recently dead".
/ [[Copper Edge Heights - Lodging House for the Recently Dead - est'd 1878]]
/ Man: The other residents and I were wondering why we never see you around. We... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030123 |
| January 23, 2003 | [[Shelley is walking into her building. There is a nameplate on the wall which reads: "Copper Edge Heights: Lodging House for the Recently Dead". A man is standing in the hallway.]]
/ Shelley (internally): When I get home I try to make sure no one sees me.
/ Because as far as I'm concerned, I represent... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030123 |
| Scary Go Round 20030124 | [[Shelley reads note]]
/ Shelley: 'Thursday - Film night - "Steel Magnolias", guests welcome.' Can't these people leave me alone? / Shelley: Why can't I have an en suite bathroom? Why do I have to be a stupid zombie girl now? WHY?
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030124 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: 'Thursday - Film Night - "Steel Magnolias", Guests Welcome.' Can't these people leave me alone? / Shelley: Why can't I have an en suite bathroom? Why do I have to be a stupid zombie girl now? Why? < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030124 |
| Scary Go Round 20030128 | Tim: Is that you, Amy? Did you get the aluminium tubing?
/ Amy: Yes. Hey, apparently there is an EU ruling against feeble girly-girls being made to carry loads of metal. Oh, and a letter arrived for you too. / Amy: It is probably a court summons for cruelty to ladies.
/ Tim: No... it's money. And... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030128 |
| January 28, 2003 | [[Amy is carrying aluminium tubing to Tim, who is working in his basement.]]
/ Tim: Is that you, Amy?
/ Did you get the aluminium tubing?
/ Amy: Yes.
/ Hey, apparently there is an EU ruling against feeble girly-girls being made to carry loads of metal.
/ Oh, and a letter arrived for you too. / Amy: It is... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030128 |
| Scary Go Round 20030129 | Shelley: Come on Shelley, calm down, calm down, just go to work, get through the day. / Shelley: Oooh! Those look nice!
/ Shopman: Fresh today, duck. Beautiful. / Shopman: Nothing nicer than a youngster with an enthusiasm for fresh vegetables.
/ Shelley: Nyyghgh cauliflower cauliflower nygh brains... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030129 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Come on Shelley, calm down, calm down, just go to work, get through the day. / Shelley: Oooh! Those look nice!
/ Produce Guy: Fresh today, duck. Beautiful. / Produce Guy: Nothing nicer than a youngster with an enthusiasm for fresh vegetables.
/ Shelley: Nyyghgh cauliflower cauliflower nygh brains-... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030129 |
| Scary Go Round 20030130 | Percy: Good morning Miss Winters. How do you feel about golf?
/ Shelley: Well Mr Percy, I don't think I've used a whole minute of my life thinking about it up to now. / Shelley: I don't know anything about golf, except that you hit a ball with a sort of stick.
/ Percy: Excellent! You're caddying today. / Percy:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030130 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mr. Percy: Good morning Miss Winters. How do you feel about golf?
/ Shelley: Well Mr. Percy, I don't think I've used a whole minute of my life thinking about it up to now. / Shelley: I don't know anything about golf, except taht you hit a ball with a sort of stick.
/ Mr. Percy: Excellent! You're caddying... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030130 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hamilton Percy: I'm playing a chap called Dave Eye. This is important, never look directly at him, right?
/ Shelley: Does he have a bad wart? Will it make me cry?
/ Tim: Let's go. We're never going to find Shelley, Amy. / Amy: We could try poking a few more homeless people. They don't seem to mind.
/ Tim:... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030131 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mr. Percy: I'm playing a chap called Dave Eye. This is important, never look directly at him, right?
/ Shelley: Does he have a bad wart? Will it make me cry?
/ Tim:Let's go. We're never going to find Shelley, Amy. / Amy:We could try poking a few more homeless people. They don't seem to mind.
/ Tim: No,... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030131 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Are we driving it to the golf club?
/ Tim: I wish. Unfortunately, it's classed as "too good for roads" / Amy: Can I drive it onto the flatbed of the truck? That would be so sublime, it would be magic.
/ Tim: No. / Tim: Hah hah! Hee hee hee! Oh man! Hee hee!
/ Amy: How I hate you, horrible, horrible... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030204 |
| February 4, 2003 | [[Tim and Amy are standing by Tim's new golf cart, which is next to his truck.]]
/ Amy: Are we driving it to the golf club?
/ Tim: I wish.
/ Unfortunately, it's classed as "too good for roads". / Amy: Can I drive it onto the flatbed of the truck?
/ That would be so sublime, it would be magic.
/ Tim: No. / [[Tim... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030204 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hamilton Percy: Shelley, can you smell the golf courrse? Can you feel it?
/ Shelley: Yes Mr Percy. If Jesus were here he would basically be hitting high fives with everyone.
/ {{SIGN: Keane End Links Cocking a snook since 1914}} / Amy: I'm nervous, Tim. I'm worried. I'm only helping you out. I could go... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030205 |
| February 5, 2003 | [[Percy and ZombieShelley are walking onto the golf course.]]
/ Percy: Shelley, can you smell the golf course?
/ Can you feel it?
/ Shelley: Yes Mr Percy.
/ If Jesus were here he would basically be hitting high fives with everyone. / [[Amy and Tim are walking to the golf club's clubhouse.]]
/ Amy: I'm nervous,... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030205 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: What do these golfers have in common?
/ Tim: Answer: They all announced their departure from the world with one final, violent visit to the toilet!
/ Audience: I say
/ Audience: That's a bit strong
/ {{SCREEN: Dick Chaplin / Stumps O'Flaherty / Monty Ford }} / Amy: What is the arch enemy of every golfer?... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030206 |
| February 6, 2003 | [[Amy and Tim are giving a presentation at a golf club. In the background of their presentation, they have pictures of three golfers.]]
/ Amy: What do these golfers have in common?
/ Tim: Answer: They all announced their departure from the world with one final, violent visit to the toilet!
/ Voice 1: I... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030206 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: Come on, come on. Shadowbox with me. We're going to bust this deal, Kool and the Gang style. / Amy: How are we going to sell to golf equipment manufacturers? Don't we hate golf? Golf courses should be big lovely parks!
/ Tim: Amy! / Amy: Golf courses are where whitey makes his plans to crush us... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030207 |
| February 7, 2003 | [[Amy and Tim are heading out of the club onto the golf course to finish their presentation.]]
/ Tim: Come on, come on, shadowbox with me.
/ We're going to bust this deal, Kool and the Gang style. / Amy: How are we going to sell to golf equipment manufacturers?
/ Don't we hate golf?
/ Golf courses should... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030207 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[At the golf club. A boardman throws open the doors to the meeting room]]
/ Boardman: The board are unanimous. You're either the greatest liar alive or a magic man. Show me more of your "golf cart". / [[Outside, next to the golf cart]]
/ Boardman: So THIS is how you're going to protect us from lightning... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030211 |
| February 11, 2003 | [[A board member approaches Tim and Amy, who are standing next to the golf cart.]]
/ Board member: The board are unanimous.
/ You're either the greatest liar alive or a magic man.
/ Show me more of your "golf cart". / [[A giant mast emerges from the back of the cart, extending into the sky.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030211 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[On the golf course]]
/ Mr Percy: No Miss Winters, I said, nine iron, not one wood. Can't get help these days, eh Dave?
/ Dave: Well you know I don't know... / Shelley [[thinking]]: Nine iron... nine iron... why should you care? Just eat the top of his head off and eat out his yummy brains! / Shelley... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030212 |
| February 12, 2003 | [[Shelley is caddying for Percy, who is golfing with another man.]]
/ Percy: No Miss Winters, I said, nine iron, not one wood.
/ Can't get the help these days, eh Dave?
/ Man: Well you know I don't know... / Shelley (internal monologue): Nine iron...
/ NINE IRON...
/ Why should you care?
/ Just bite the... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030212 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[On the golf course]]
/ Dave: You've got a good one here, Percy. My secretary wouldn't get an insect outof my hair. Christ knows, the number of times I've asked.
/ Mr Percy: I saw a scorpion on tv once, it frightened me!
/ Shelley: Just another second, almost got it... / [[Shelley bites Mr Percy on the... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030213 |
| February 13, 2003 | [[Percy is golfing with another man. Shelley is caddying for him.]]
/ Man: You've got a good one here, Percy.
/ My secretary wouldn't get an insect out of my hair.
/ Christ knows, number of times I've asked.
/ Percy: I saw a scorpion on TV once, it frightened me!
/ Shelley: Just another second, almost got... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030213 |
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