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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Devil: Ow! You ass! Ow! Ow! You made a little bit of blood come out of my mouth! / Ryan: Maybe we can go... shoppin' tomorrow... / Shelley: Gappa-pow! / Ralph: Come on, Dev, let's get you home. It's a foolish customer tangles with a crossed lady. / Devil: Look! Blood! / Ralph: An angry woman is like...
December 12, 2002 [[Ryan, Tim, and ZombieShelley are standing together. ZombieShelley has her fist out towards the Devil, who is poking at his mouth with his finger.]] / Devil: Ow! / You ASS! / Ow! / Ow! / You made a little bit of blood come out of my mouth! / Ryan: Maybe we can go... shoppin', tomorrow... / ZombieShelley:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Tim, when Ryan brought me round here, and I was all undead and smelly, you handled it very well. / Tim: I breathed through my mouth until we got you into the bath. Old army trick. Works for nerve gas, mustard gas, trumps... / Tim: Do dead girls trump? / Shelley: You'll know in five seconds...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Tim, when Ryan brought me round here, and I was all undead and smelly, you handled it very well. / Tim: I breathed through my mouth untl we got you into the bath. Old army trick. Works for nerve gas, mustard gas, trumps... / Tim: Do dead girls trump? / Shelley: You'll know in five second...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Daddy! / Professor Pickering: Hello Pootle, how did you enjoy your first term at art school? / Professor Pickering: Did you deconceptualise yoru preconceptions about external creativity and the inner child? / Amy: I drank a lot of cups of tea! / Professor Pickering: Amy, this is costing me a lot...
December 17, 2002 [[Amy's father is picking her up at the Tackleford train station.]] / Amy: Daddy! / Amy's father: Hello Pootle, how did you enjoy your first term at art school? / Amy's father: Did you deconceptualise your preconceptions about external creativity and the inner child? / Amy: I drank a lot of cups of tea! / Amy's...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: What about you? Did you enjoy your first term as a lecturer? / Pickering: I did. / Pickering: There's something very inspiring about shaping young minds, knowing they'll be using what you teach them all their lives. / Amy: That's great! / Pickering: Also, the way a second-year's hair falls over...
December 18, 2002 [[Amy and her father are in a parking lot, heading towards his car.]] / Amy: What about you? / Did you enjoy your first term as a lecturer? / Amy's father: I did. / Amy's father: There's something very inspiring about shaping young minds, knowing they'll be using what you teach them all their lives. / [[Amy's...
Scary Go Round 20021219 Amy: Where's the fairy for the Christmas tree? / Len: Cecil chewed her face off last year. If was like a very small, intense 'Silence of the Lambs'. / Len: Amy, did you fall under an inky needle for several hours by accident or is it will re-writing time again? / Amy: Sweater, sweater, SWEATER!
December 19, 2002 [[Amy is decorating the Christmas tree while her father cooks.]] / Amy: Where's the fairy for the Christmas tree? / Amy's father: Cecil chewed her face off last year. / It was like a very small, intense 'Silence of the Lambs'. / [[Amy's father comes in and sees her tattoos.]] / Amy's father: Amy, did...
 
Scary Go Round 20021220 Len: My flawless little muffin... all ruined with tattoo ink... / Amy: See, I knew you would go nuts. / Amy: So I painted you five Phil Collins album covers as my end of term project. / Len: ...Phil? / Len: You sweet little overcompensater. / Amy: Happy Christmas, Daddy.
December 20, 2002 [[Amy is talking to her father, who is banging his head on a table.]] / Amy's father: My flawless little muffin... / All ruined with tattoo ink... / Amy: See, I knew you would go nuts. / Amy: So I painted you five Phil Collins album covers as my end of term project. / Amy's father: ...Phil? / Amy's father:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [Episode Cover] / Inevitable / 4
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[A photograph of a woman with very light grey eyes and red hair.]] / INEVITABLE
Scary Go Round 20030107 Amy: Any sign of Shelley, Tim? / Tim: No, and I don't know where else I can look. / Amy: She left a note! / Tim: Let me see! / Amy: Damn. / Tim: Oh, man. / Shelley's note: Dear Tim, Ryan, and Amy, You have all been very kind to me since I came back as a zombie. But now I have to find out where I fit into...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Any sign of Shelley, Tim? / Tim:No, and I don't know where else I can look. / Amy: She left a note! / Tim: Let me see! / Amy:Damn / Tim: Oh Man. / [[A letter fills half the frame]] / [Dear Tim, Ryan and Amy, / You have all been vey kind to me since I cam back as a zombie. / But I have to find out...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley is looking out of a window. it's raining.]] / Shelley: Internal monologues are fun because you can say what you want and no one can tell how dramatic you're being. / Shelley: Such as "I have moved into this awful place because I am so poor and have no job oh dear". / [[Shelley walks the street...
January 8, 2003 [[Shelley is looking out a window. It is raining outside.]] / Shelley (internal monologue): Internal monologues are fun because you can say what you want and no one can tell how dramatic you're being. / Such as "I have moved into this awful place because I am so poor and have no job oh dear." / Shelley...
Scary Go Round 20030109 [[Shelley holds umbrella]] / Shelley: Now, I like the reassuring smell of dry rot as much as the next person, but I have my pride. / Shelley: I have to find a job so I can afford the important things in life, like sexy boots and chocolate. / Shelley: This would be easier if I hadn't been murdered, then...
January 9, 2003 [[Shelley is walking down the street, holding an umbrella over her head. It is raining.]] / Shelley (internal monologue): Now, I like the reassuring smell of dry rot as much as the next person, but I have my pride. / I have to find a job so I can afford the important things in life, like sexy boots and...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley is at an employment agency.]] / Shelley: Once you're dead, your paperwork stops paperworking. The dead cease to exist! Obscene! / Shelley: Your now-invalid details don't seem to impress potential employers. / [[Shelley is thrown out of the employment agency into the rain. A stapler bounces off...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Zombified Shelley looks for work in a recruitment agency.]] / Shelley (internal monologue): Once you're dead, your paperwork stops paperworking. The dead cease to exist! Obscene! / Shelley (internal monologue): Your now-invalid details don't seem to impress potential employers. / [[Shelley is tossed...
Scary Go Round 20030114 [[Cafe]] / Shelley: But if the legitimate economy doesn't want me, I'll have to hawk myself on the black market. As a freelance no-goodnik. / Shelley: Local businessman seeks discreet assistant. GBP300 p/w cash in hand. / Shelley: That is the most sinister classified ad ever. / Shelley: Dear Sir, As...
January 14, 2003 [[Shelley is reading the newspaper in a cafe.]] / Shelley (internally): But if the legitimate economy doesn't want me, I'll have to hawk myself on the black market. / As a freelance no-goodnik. / Shelley (reading an advertisement out loud): Local businessman seeks discreet assistant. / $300 p/w cash in hand. / Shelley...
Scary Go Round 20030115 [[Tim's house]] / Tim: Do you want to see my new truck? I paid Ryan GBP25 and he polished it for three solid days. / Ryan: Can't feel my hands... / Amy: Baby baby can I please be your girlfriend? / Tim: Come on Amy, let go. / Amy: Shut up man whose name I have forgotten. / Ryan: Hands... like claws...
January 15, 2003 [[Amy, Tim, and Ryan were walking down the street towards Tim's house.]] / Tim: Do you want to see my new truck? / I paid Ryan $25 and he polished it for three solid days. / Ryan: Can't feel my hands... / [[Amy is embracing the shiny truck.]] / Amy: Baby BABY can I please be your girlfriend? / Tim: Come...
Scary Go Round 20030116 [[Mail room, mailboxes]] / Shelley: A... letter! / Shelley: "Dear Miss Winters, you are invited for interview at Percy Import/Export. Sincerely, Hamilton Percy." Hamilton Percy! / Shelley: So anyway, when I arrive at the place, it's a big, dirty old red brick building, which is really disappointing. / Shelley:...
January 16, 2003 [[Shelley is checking her mail.]] / Shelley: A... letter! / Shelley (reading the letter): "Dear Miss Winters, you are invited for intervieww at Percy import/export. / Sincerely, Hamilton Percy." / Hamilton Percy! / Shelley (internal monologue): So anyway, when I arrive at the place, it's a big, dirty...
Scary Go Round 20030117 Shelley: Shelley Winters. / Percy: Hamilton Percy. Now Shelley, I got a question. Do you know how to keep your mouth shut? / Shelley: Don't open it? / Percy: I can see we're going to get along. You've got the job. Welcome to Imports/Exports. / Shelley: Mr Percy is a firm but fair man. It is easy...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Shelley Winters. / Hamilton: Hamilton Percy. Now Shelley, I got a question. Do you know hot to keep your mouth shut? / Shelley: Don't open it? / Hamilton: I can see we're going to get along. You've got the job. Welcome to imports/exports. / Shelley (inner monologue): Mr. Percy is a...
 
Scary Go Round 20030121 Shopgirl: Very nice, Shelley! It simultaneously says "businesslike" and "of the crypt". / Shelley: I can't wear this to work! My unruly charges are clearly visible to passers by. / Shopgirl: Okay, try this. 1940s vampire secretary. / Shelley: "Hello, passer-by. Meet my chests" / Shelley: Suddenly...
January 21, 2003 [[Shelley is shopping in a goth store, talking to a saleswoman.]] / Saleswoman: Very nice, Shelley! / It simultaneously says "businesslike" and "of the crypt". / Shelley: I can't wear this to work! / My unruly charges are clearly visible to passers by. / Saleswoman: Okay, try this. / 1940s vampire secretary. / Shelley:...
Scary Go Round 20030122 Shelley: Your first day on a job is scary because places have all kinds of peculiar rules. / Percy: Don't ever, ever touch that brush, you understand? / Percy: Now this is your office. I got one of those top of the range Commodore 64 computers, right. That's what the government uses, right. / Shelley:...
January 22, 2003 [[Shelley is walking with Percy in the office building, as he shows her around.]] / Shelley (internally): Your first day on a job is scary because places have all kinds of peculiar rules. / Percy: Don't ever, ever touch that brush, you understand? / Percy: Now this is your office. / I got you one of those...
Scary Go Round 20030123 Shelley: When I get home I try to make sure no one sees me. Because as far as I'm concerned, I represent the acceptable face of "recently dead". / [[Copper Edge Heights - Lodging House for the Recently Dead - est'd 1878]] / Man: The other residents and I were wondering why we never see you around. We...
January 23, 2003 [[Shelley is walking into her building. There is a nameplate on the wall which reads: "Copper Edge Heights: Lodging House for the Recently Dead". A man is standing in the hallway.]] / Shelley (internally): When I get home I try to make sure no one sees me. / Because as far as I'm concerned, I represent...
Scary Go Round 20030124 [[Shelley reads note]] / Shelley: 'Thursday - Film night - "Steel Magnolias", guests welcome.' Can't these people leave me alone? / Shelley: Why can't I have an en suite bathroom? Why do I have to be a stupid zombie girl now? WHY? / <> / Shelley: It's...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: 'Thursday - Film Night - "Steel Magnolias", Guests Welcome.' Can't these people leave me alone? / Shelley: Why can't I have an en suite bathroom? Why do I have to be a stupid zombie girl now? Why? <> / Shelley: It's funny. Kicking everything...
Scary Go Round 20030128 Tim: Is that you, Amy? Did you get the aluminium tubing? / Amy: Yes. Hey, apparently there is an EU ruling against feeble girly-girls being made to carry loads of metal. Oh, and a letter arrived for you too. / Amy: It is probably a court summons for cruelty to ladies. / Tim: No... it's money. And...
January 28, 2003 [[Amy is carrying aluminium tubing to Tim, who is working in his basement.]] / Tim: Is that you, Amy? / Did you get the aluminium tubing? / Amy: Yes. / Hey, apparently there is an EU ruling against feeble girly-girls being made to carry loads of metal. / Oh, and a letter arrived for you too. / Amy: It is...
 
Scary Go Round 20030129 Shelley: Come on Shelley, calm down, calm down, just go to work, get through the day. / Shelley: Oooh! Those look nice! / Shopman: Fresh today, duck. Beautiful. / Shopman: Nothing nicer than a youngster with an enthusiasm for fresh vegetables. / Shelley: Nyyghgh cauliflower cauliflower nygh brains...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Come on Shelley, calm down, calm down, just go to work, get through the day. / Shelley: Oooh! Those look nice! / Produce Guy: Fresh today, duck. Beautiful. / Produce Guy: Nothing nicer than a youngster with an enthusiasm for fresh vegetables. / Shelley: Nyyghgh cauliflower cauliflower nygh brains-...
Scary Go Round 20030130 Percy: Good morning Miss Winters. How do you feel about golf? / Shelley: Well Mr Percy, I don't think I've used a whole minute of my life thinking about it up to now. / Shelley: I don't know anything about golf, except that you hit a ball with a sort of stick. / Percy: Excellent! You're caddying today. / Percy:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mr. Percy: Good morning Miss Winters. How do you feel about golf? / Shelley: Well Mr. Percy, I don't think I've used a whole minute of my life thinking about it up to now. / Shelley: I don't know anything about golf, except taht you hit a ball with a sort of stick. / Mr. Percy: Excellent! You're caddying...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Hamilton Percy: I'm playing a chap called Dave Eye. This is important, never look directly at him, right? / Shelley: Does he have a bad wart? Will it make me cry? / Tim: Let's go. We're never going to find Shelley, Amy. / Amy: We could try poking a few more homeless people. They don't seem to mind. / Tim:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mr. Percy: I'm playing a chap called Dave Eye. This is important, never look directly at him, right? / Shelley: Does he have a bad wart? Will it make me cry? / Tim:Let's go. We're never going to find Shelley, Amy. / Amy:We could try poking a few more homeless people. They don't seem to mind. / Tim: No,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Are we driving it to the golf club? / Tim: I wish. Unfortunately, it's classed as "too good for roads" / Amy: Can I drive it onto the flatbed of the truck? That would be so sublime, it would be magic. / Tim: No. / Tim: Hah hah! Hee hee hee! Oh man! Hee hee! / Amy: How I hate you, horrible, horrible...
February 4, 2003 [[Tim and Amy are standing by Tim's new golf cart, which is next to his truck.]] / Amy: Are we driving it to the golf club? / Tim: I wish. / Unfortunately, it's classed as "too good for roads". / Amy: Can I drive it onto the flatbed of the truck? / That would be so sublime, it would be magic. / Tim: No. / [[Tim...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Hamilton Percy: Shelley, can you smell the golf courrse? Can you feel it? / Shelley: Yes Mr Percy. If Jesus were here he would basically be hitting high fives with everyone. / {{SIGN: Keane End Links Cocking a snook since 1914}} / Amy: I'm nervous, Tim. I'm worried. I'm only helping you out. I could go...
February 5, 2003 [[Percy and ZombieShelley are walking onto the golf course.]] / Percy: Shelley, can you smell the golf course? / Can you feel it? / Shelley: Yes Mr Percy. / If Jesus were here he would basically be hitting high fives with everyone. / [[Amy and Tim are walking to the golf club's clubhouse.]] / Amy: I'm nervous,...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: What do these golfers have in common? / Tim: Answer: They all announced their departure from the world with one final, violent visit to the toilet! / Audience: I say / Audience: That's a bit strong / {{SCREEN: Dick Chaplin / Stumps O'Flaherty / Monty Ford }} / Amy: What is the arch enemy of every golfer?...
February 6, 2003 [[Amy and Tim are giving a presentation at a golf club. In the background of their presentation, they have pictures of three golfers.]] / Amy: What do these golfers have in common? / Tim: Answer: They all announced their departure from the world with one final, violent visit to the toilet! / Voice 1: I...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Tim: Come on, come on. Shadowbox with me. We're going to bust this deal, Kool and the Gang style. / Amy: How are we going to sell to golf equipment manufacturers? Don't we hate golf? Golf courses should be big lovely parks! / Tim: Amy! / Amy: Golf courses are where whitey makes his plans to crush us...
February 7, 2003 [[Amy and Tim are heading out of the club onto the golf course to finish their presentation.]] / Tim: Come on, come on, shadowbox with me. / We're going to bust this deal, Kool and the Gang style. / Amy: How are we going to sell to golf equipment manufacturers? / Don't we hate golf? / Golf courses should...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[At the golf club. A boardman throws open the doors to the meeting room]] / Boardman: The board are unanimous. You're either the greatest liar alive or a magic man. Show me more of your "golf cart". / [[Outside, next to the golf cart]] / Boardman: So THIS is how you're going to protect us from lightning...
February 11, 2003 [[A board member approaches Tim and Amy, who are standing next to the golf cart.]] / Board member: The board are unanimous. / You're either the greatest liar alive or a magic man. / Show me more of your "golf cart". / [[A giant mast emerges from the back of the cart, extending into the sky.]] / <> / Board...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[On the golf course]] / Mr Percy: No Miss Winters, I said, nine iron, not one wood. Can't get help these days, eh Dave? / Dave: Well you know I don't know... / Shelley [[thinking]]: Nine iron... nine iron... why should you care? Just eat the top of his head off and eat out his yummy brains! / Shelley...
February 12, 2003 [[Shelley is caddying for Percy, who is golfing with another man.]] / Percy: No Miss Winters, I said, nine iron, not one wood. / Can't get the help these days, eh Dave? / Man: Well you know I don't know... / Shelley (internal monologue): Nine iron... / NINE IRON... / Why should you care? / Just bite the...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[On the golf course]] / Dave: You've got a good one here, Percy. My secretary wouldn't get an insect outof my hair. Christ knows, the number of times I've asked. / Mr Percy: I saw a scorpion on tv once, it frightened me! / Shelley: Just another second, almost got it... / [[Shelley bites Mr Percy on the...
February 13, 2003 [[Percy is golfing with another man. Shelley is caddying for him.]] / Man: You've got a good one here, Percy. / My secretary wouldn't get an insect out of my hair. / Christ knows, number of times I've asked. / Percy: I saw a scorpion on TV once, it frightened me! / Shelley: Just another second, almost got...
 

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