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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Has this marriage been consummated? The answer had better be "no". / Erin: No! / Bob: I never disturbed her maidenhead! / Shelley: I'm filing a motion for annulment by text message-- legal practice at its most ramshackle. And really. "Maidenhead"? / Shelley: How do you like my legal beaglery,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Has this marriage been consummated? / Shelley Winters: The answer had better be "no". / Erin Winters: No! / Bob Crowley: I never disturbed her maidenhead! / Shelley Winters: I'm filing a motion for annulment by text message / Shelley Winters: Legal practice at its most ramshackle. / Shelley...
Scary Go Round 20070705 Ryan: Erin, you don't gotta be so hard on your sister. She's lookin' out for you. / Erin: Wow. Thanks. More great advice from a fully paid up member of her simpletons' club. / Ryan: Well dang ain't you just an utter delight. / Erin: I can find my arse with both hands, which puts me on a higher evolutionary...
Scary Go Round 20070705 Ryan: Erin, you don't gotta be so hard on your sister. She's lookin' out for you. / Erin: Wow, thanks. More great advice from a fully paid up member of her Simpletons' Club. / Ryan: Well dang ain't you just an utter delight. / Erin: I can find my arse with both hands, which puts me on a higher evolutionary...
Scary Go Round 20070706 [[Shelley hangs to a tree for dear life. Bob is not hanging on to anything.]] / Shelley: Holy moly! This is quite a gale! / Ryan: The portal's suckin' the demons back in... and anythin' else not nailed down! / Erin: BOB! / Erin: BOB, I'VE GOT YOU! / [[She reaches out for Bob, catches his feet, is sucked...
Scary Go Round 20070706 [[Shelly hangs on to a tree as they are all swept up by the portal's sucking. Bob has nothing to hold onto and falls over.]] / Shelley: Holy moly! This is quite a gale! / Ryan: The portal's suckin' the demons back in... and anythin' else not nailed down! / Erin: NO! / Erin: BOB, I'VE GOT YOU! / [[Erin...
Scary Go Round 20070709 [[Erin is holding onto Bob's legs with both hands, while Shelley is only flimsily holding to one of Erin's feet.]] / Erin: I won't let go, Bob, I won't! / Shelley: Erin, I can't hold on to both of you! Let go of old cradle-snatcher! He'll be fine in a dimension of demonds and deth! / [[Shelley loses her...
Scary Go Round 20070709 Erin: I won't let go, Bob, I won't! / Shelley: Erin, I can't hold on to both of you! Let go of old cradle-snatcher! He'll be fine in a dimension of demonds and deth! / [[She loses her grip. Bob and Erin catapult through the portal.]] / <> / Shelley: As a lifelong supporter of gravity, recent events...
Scary Go Round 20070710 [[Ryan, The Boy, and Erin come up in a tractor to rescue Shelley. Erin plucks her off the tree.]] / Ryan: Shelley, stop your wrigglin'! We're savin' you! / Shelley: Let go! I have to rescue my sister! / Ryan: Listen, one small woman can't just go into Hell. / Shelley: I can! I must! / Erin: Shelley, Hell...
Scary Go Round 20070710 [[Ryan, The Boy, and Erin come by in the bulldozer. The Boy holds Esther steady, and Esther reaches out and grabs Shelley from the tree she was holding on to.]] / Ryan: Shelley, stop your wrigglin'! We're savin' you! / Shelley: Let go! I have to rescue my sister! / Ryan: Listen, one small woman can't...
 
Scary Go Round 20070711 Esther: How do we turn the portal off, The Boy? You know about... science! / The Boy: I don't know if we should try. If it's not shut down properly, something appalling might happen! / Esther: The Portakabin's going! / The Boy: Well, they're made from compressed juice cartons and potato peelings! They're...
Scary Go Round 20070711 [[Esther and The Boy stand a relatively safe distance from the portal as the demons are sucked back into it.]] / Esther: How do we turn the portal off, The Boy? You know about... science! / The Boy: I don't know if we should try. If it's not shut down properly, something appalling might happen! / Esther:...
Scary Go Round 20070712 Shelley: We did it! We saved the nation from the threat of terror... but at a terrible cost. / Ryan: War is stupid. And people are stupid. / Esther: I think we'd better get out of here before the police arrive and start asking reasonable questions. / Ryan: Let's go get Amy back from ol' Mother Shipton....
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: We did it! We saved the nation from teh threat of terror... ...but at a terrible cost. / Ryan: War is stupid. And people are stupid. / Esther: I think we'd better get out of here before the police arrive and start asking reasonable questions. / Ryan: Let's go get Amy back from ol' Mother Shipton....
Scary Go Round 20070713 Shelley: Mother Shipton, you gross old crone, come out and face me! My skinny fists spell retribution! / Amy: Yeah Mother Shipton, you stink at life! Booo! / [[Shelley realizes Amy is behind her and hugs her.]] / Shelley: AME! She didn't boil you down into glue! / [[She gives Ryan a hug.]] / Amy: Don't...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Mother Shipton, you gross old crone, come out and face me! My skinny fists spell retribution! / Amy: Yeah Mother Shipton, you stink at life! Booo! / Shelley: AME! She didn't boil you down into glue! / Amy: Don't hug too tight Ryan. I've been washing in puddle water for a week. / Shelley: Amy......
Scary Go Round 20070716 Ryan: Erin was a dour gal, you're right. Goin' into Hell will be character formin'. / Amy: Don't be so fucking ridiculous, Ryan. / Amy: What was I meant to say to poor Shelley? "Buck up! Your sister's probably only being chased by a big skull on legs with a lolling tongue"? Just because Erin only had...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Erin was a dour gal, you're right. Goin' into hell will be character formin'. / Amy: Don't be so fucking ridiculous, Ryan. / Amy: What was I meant ot say to poor shelley? "Buck up! Your sister's probably only being chased by a big skull on legs with a lolling tongue"? Just because Erin only had...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy's in the bath while Shelly waits outside the door.]] / Shelly: Do you think the devil is really beaten, Ame? Can the human race sleep safe in its giant bed? / Amy: The human race is like a drunk teenager doing a crooked grind down the central reservation of a motorway. / Amy: Humanity is a...
Scary Go Round 20070717 [[Shelley is in her pajamas with a mug of tea. Amy is in the bathtub with bubble bath and a glass of wine.]] / Shelley: Do you think the Devil is really beaten, Ame? Can the human race sleep safe in its giant bed? / Amy: The human race is like a drunk teenager doing a crooked grind down the central...
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The Father brings a pink envelope to The Boy, who is in bed.]] / The Father: Letter for you, son! Looks like a girl's writing, ho ho. / [[view of the opened letter in the Boy's hands]] / Shelley's letter reads: SUPER BEST FRIENDS SOCIETY Dear Eustace Boyce You are invited to a thank-you party for your...
Scary Go Round 20070718 [[The Boy, in bed, is woken up by The Father.]] / The Father: Letter for you, son! Looks like a girl's writing, ho ho. / Letter: Super Best Friends Society - Dear Eustace Boyce - You are invited to a thank-you party for your efforts against the forces of grisly evil. 7.30 PM until late. RSVP Shelley...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: So um, Mr. Wogun, exactly how badly did you beat up the Devil? / Mr. Wogun: Well, t'call the feller a big skin bag full'a broken china... / Mr. Wogun: Might do a disservice to the structural soundness of a smashed teapot! / Percival: Chip! / Shelley: How thrillingly brutal! / Mr. Wogun: He won't...
Scary Go Round 20070719 [[At the celebratory gathering.]] / Shelley: So um, Mr Wogun, exactly how badly did you beat up the Devil? / Wogun: Well, t'call the feller a big skin bag full'a broken china... / Wogun: ...might do a disservice to the structural soundness of a smashed teapot! / Percival: Chip! / Shelley: How thrillingly...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[ Esther and The Boy are in the kitchen, talking. ]] / Esther: That's the third time that big biker has offered me tickets to the gun show. / Such a lovely combination of revolting and persistent. / The Boy: Manners and crime are distand cousins, Esther. / [[ Esther sits down at the table with The Boy...
Scary Go Round 20070720 Esther: That's the third time that big biker has offered me tickets to the gun show. Such a lovely combination of revolting and persistent. / The Boy: Manners and crime are distant cousins, Esther. / [[In the background, Shelley and Des dance.]] / Esther: This thing wasn't all bad, The Boy. At least we're...
Scary Go Round 20070723 Esther: If you're not sure whether you still want me, there's one fool proof test. Imagine another man with his hands all over me. / Esther: Let's just say he's pawing and squeezing and whispering. / Esther: How do you feel? If you feel nothing, it's over. / [[The Boy has taken off his shirt, grabbed...
Scary Go Round 20070723 Esther: If you're not sure whether you still want me, there's one fool proof tets. Imagine another man with his hands all over me. / Esther: Let's just say he's pawing and squeezing and whispering. / Esther: How do you feel? If you feel nothing, it's over. / [[The Boy has removed his shirt and jumped...
Scary Go Round 20070724 Moon: Shelley, I think Ernest has had too much navy rum. We'd better take him home. / Shelley: The Navy may be forced to invest in extra stills! / [[Shelley is holding "Box Wine."]] / [[Moon and Desmond are helping Ernest. Desmond is wearing a "Def Leppard" shirt.]] / Ernest: Arr, so, Jeff Leopard and...
Scary Go Round 20070724 Moon: Shelley, I think Ernest has had too much navy rum. We'd better take him home. / Shelley: The Navy may be forced to invest in extra stills! / [[Box Wine]] / [[Des (in his Def Leppard shirt) and Moon each take one of Ernest's arms to guide him.]] / Ernest: Arr, so, Jeff Leopard and Moomin... what...
 
Scary Go Round 20070725 [[Ernest opens a garage door to a shed.]] / Ernest: Let old Ernest show ye somethin'. Maybe ye'll be less keen to waste yer young lives. / Desmond: I bet it's full of Indonesian children sewing up Nikes. / [[He shows a new round wooden submarine.]] / Ernest: The Super Elaine! The most advanced research...
Scary Go Round 20070725 [[Ernest lifts up a garage door.]] / Ernest: Let old Ernest show ye somethin'. Maybe ye'll be less keen to waste yer young lives. / Des: I bet it's full of Indonesian children sewing up Nikes. / [[It's another wooden submarine.]] / Ernest: THE SUPER ELAINE! The most advanced research vessel ever created! / Des:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[bedroom]] / ame: shelley, this adventure has been a life-changing experience. it's time to set childish things aside and be a lady. never again will i wear my "hot to trot" t-shirt. / shelley: but ame, you are hot to trot. this tshirt just helps men be less confused. / ame: confusion will be my new...
Scary Go Round 20070726 [[Amy is putting clothing into a bag marked "Help the wretched".]] / Amy: Shelley, this adventure has been a life-changing experience. It's time to set childish things aside and be a lady. Never again will I wear my "Hot to Trot" T-shirt. / [[Shelley holds the shirt in question.]] / Shelley: But Ame you...
Scary Go Round 20070727 [[Bob and Erin are in a bleak black-and-white terrain.]] / Bob: This is Hell, Erin Winters. Get used to it. / Erin: My sister will save us! She's completely demented! / Bob: Soon she won't remember you. No one will. Your meat, your matter are no longer part of the universe we knew. / [[They pass a foodcart...
Scary Go Round 20070727 [[Bob and Erin are in a bleak black-and-white terrain.]] / Bob: This is Hell, Erin Winters. Get used to it. / Erin: My sister will save us! She's completely demented! / Bob: Soon she won't remember you. No one will. Your meat, your matter are no longer part of the universe we knew. / [[They pass a foodcart...
Scary Go Round 20070730 [[Ryan is writing on a typewriter while playing a record. Shelley comes up behind him with fingers in her ears.]] / Record: chooglin' booglin' fish eye helicopter / Shelley: Ryan, what is this racket? Have you been buying records from the rag and bone man again? / [[Typewriter brand: Olivetti]] / Ryan:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Music Playing]] Chooglin' Booglin' Fish Eye Helicopter / Shelley: Ryan, what is this RACKET? Have you been buying records from the rag and bone man again? / Ryan: Shelley, Philistines ain't welcome in my home. Sit down and I'll tell you ... / [[Colourful letters coming out of Ryan's typewriter]] "Grows...
Scary Go Round 20070731 Ryan: By '67, Captain Beefheart was gettin' popular with his unique brand of rhythm 'n shoutin'. / [[Black-and-white, Beefheart is singing and someone else is on guitar. Sixties chicks dance around them.]] / Beefheart: Diddy wah diddy / Ryan: So he got asked to play the Monterey Pop Festival with his Magic...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: By '67, Captain Beefheart was gettin' popular with his unique brand of rhythm 'n shoutin'. / Beefheart: Diddy wah diddy / Ryan: So he got asked to play the Monterey Pop Festival with his Magic Band. / Ryan: They made it to the festival, but the Magic Band legged it when they saw a bunch of twisters...
 
Scary Go Round 20070801 Ryan: With pop hits provin' unlikely, Captain Beefheart retreated to a cabin to shout at his band for months on end. The result was Trout Mask Replica. / [[Album with the cover of a man in a trout mask and high hat.]] / Ryan: These were complicated sounds designed for serious "heads". / [[The band is...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: With pop hits provin' unlikely, Captain Beefheart retreated to a cabin to shout at his band for months on end. The result was Trout Mask Replica. / Ryan: These were complicated sounds designed for serious "heads". / [[Beefheart is singing in the studio. The band plays their instruments with rabbits]] / Beefheart:...
Scary Go Round 20070802 Ryan: In the '70s, Captain Beefheart fell under the spell of smooth music, cuttin' a disc with Doobie Brothers producer Ted Templeman! / Beefheart: My baby's got some sardines for me, woah-oh / Ryan: Contractually dismayed and with his Magic Band gone, Beefheart did the unthinkable! / [[Beefheart singing...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: In the '70s, Captain Beefheart fell under the spell of smooth music, cuttin' a disc with Doobie Brothers producer Ted Templeman! / Beefheart: My baby's got some sardines for me, whoah-oh / Ryan: Contractually dismayed and with his Magic Band gone, Beefheart did the unthinkable! / [[with The Carpenters]] / Beefheart:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Captain Beefheart and his band perform outdoors amongst some crows, with Beefheart holding an ice cream cone]] / Ryan (as unseen narrator): In the 80's, Beefheart got his Magic back and kicked out some fresh jams with a new Band. / Captain Beefheart: Ice cream for crows / Ryan (as unseen narrator): But...
Scary Go Round 20070803 Ryan: In the 80s, Beefheart got his Magic back and kicked out some fresh jams with a new Band. / Beefheart: Ice cream for crows / Ryan: But after not bein' asked to sing on "We Are The World", he retired hurt, tired of chooglin'. / Ryan: He became plain old Don Van Vliet and was feted for his art. Don...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison SCARY GO ROUND-- San Diego Disaster Problem / Shelley: Hee hee! Hee hee hee! / Amy: Are you happy now? / Shelley: Oh yes! Meeting Luther Plimpkins is the high point of my woman's life! / Shelley: OH DEAR OH NO! / Shelley: LAWKS AND DARN IT! / Amy: Did you remember that pixies aren't real again? / Shelley:...
Scary Go Round 20070813 [[Two burly hicks in overalls, Grezzer and Bun, are chasing a skinny hick, Lorcan.]] / Grezzer or Bun: Ay, c'mere! / Bun or Grezzer: We've not finished with yun! / [[He hides in a shed.]] / Lorcan: Huff puff / Father: Grezzer! Bun! I told you to finish that milking! / Grezzer or Bun: Bah! / [[Lorcan strokes...
 
Scary Go Round 20070814 [[Big poster Amy is making.]] / Tackleford Metropolitan Borough Presents / THE GREAT TACKLEFORD SHOW / Aug 12-14 / Featuring / An Improbably Range of Produce - Judged by Some Right Minds / The Borough's Finest Beasts / Horticulture at its Most "Lavish" / An Array of... Glorious Activities / Dog o' the Borough / Those...
Scary Go Round 20070815 Shelley: Paula requests our presence in the editorial office. I think she has a hardcore assignment of danger news for us, Mike! / Paula: I have a very important job for you... / Shelley: Yes yes! / Paula: ...covering the Great Tackleford Show. / Shelley: No no no no no! / Mike: That's not writing, it's...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mike: It's your fault we have to cover the show, Shelley. If you hadn't called Paula "Triangle Head"... / Shelley: It was the Christmas party! High spirits are allowed! Theoretically. / Shelley: Come on Mike! We'll make this fun! Three days in the great outdoors. / Mike: I hate animals, I hate mud...
Scary Go Round 20070817 Shelley: Oh Mike! Partner of mine! You're so sad and down! Look at me! Look how pretty I am! Doesn't that cheer you up? / Mike: I thought I was going to be something. Someone. Instead I've spent 23 years on the same miserable local paper. "Dog bites man who bites dog back." / Shelley: But Mike, there...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Oh Mike! Partner of mine! You're so sad and down! Look at me! Look how pretty I am! Doesn't that cheer you up? / Mike: I thought I was going to be something. Someone. Instead I've spent 23 years on the same miserable local paper. "Dog bites man who bites dog back". / Shelley: But Mike, there...
Scary Go Round 20070820 Shelley: At least feign excitement, Ame. For me. Come on. / Amy: Woo. It's the Great Tackleford Show. It's like they found Atlantis and they're giving it to me. / Amy: Are you satisfied now? / Shelley: Satisfied-ish. / Shelley: The first show was held in 1894. It featured many now-rare farm animals like...
Scary Go Round 20070820 Shelley: At least feign excitement, Ame. For me. Come on. / Amy: Woo. It's the Great Tackleford Show. It's like they found Atlantis and they're giving it to me. / Amy: Are you satisfied now? / Shelley: Satisfied-ish. / Shelley: The first show was held in 1894. It featured many now-rare farm animals like...
 

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