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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: I was wonderin' how you go about becomin' a postman. / [[A postman grabs Ryan and pulls him through the inquiry window]] / Postman 1: Here's an alarm clock / Postman 2: Put on this shirt / Postman 1: Summer means shorts / Ryan: Aw but my knees! / Postman 2: Take these letters / [[A postman...
Scary Go Round 20080613 [[Ryan at the post office.]] / Ryan: I was wonderin' how you go about becomin' a postman. / [[He is grabbed and hauled through the window.]] / Postman 1: Here's an alarm clock / Postman 2: Put on this shirt / Postman 3: Summer means shorts / Ryan: Aw but my knees! / Postman 4: Take these letters / [[He...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Becomin' a postman's like joinin' the army. They gotta break you down to nothin' then build you back up again. / Ryan: You don't have to go to boot camp because you're never going to be asked to cold cock anyone with a rifle. In fact, that's frowned upon. / Ryan: But it's a responsible position,...
Scary Go Round 20080617 Amy: Ryan, where have you been? I haven't seen you for days. / Ryan: I'm now a postman in Sutton-on-Sea. It's complicated. / [[Amy is bemused.]] / Amy: Sutton-on-Sea! / Ryan: All that sea air, I'm so tired. It's arguably too bracin'. / Amy: Well, you better not be too tired... for Fan Fiction Friday! / [[Ryan...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Ryan, where have you been? I haven't seen you for days. / Ryan: I'm a postman now in Sutton-on-Sea. It's complicated. / Amy: Sutton-on-Sea! / Ryan: All that sea air, I'm so tired. It's arguably too bracin'. / Amy: Well you better not be too tired... for Fan Fiction Friday! / Ryan: All I do is...
Scary Go Round 20080618 [[Ryan is on Amy's couch reading "Wasp Fancier".]] / Amy: I heard from Shelley today. She doesn't think she'll be back for six months. / Ryan: Aw, that's a shame. She won't get the benefit of the huge TV you bought or how you got a cleanin' lady now. / [[Amy slumps onto the couch from behind.]] / Ryan:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan sits on the couch reading "Wasp Fancier" magazine]] / Amy: I heard from Shelley today. She doesn't think she'll be back for six months. / Ryan: Aw, that's a shame. She won't get the benefit of the huge TV you bought or how you got a cleanin' lady now. / Ryan: It's funny how no one has a cleanin'...
Scary Go Round 20080619 [[Ryan is hanging paper model airplanes from a ceiling lamp. Des hands him Comrade Bat. Des is wearing a ginger wig, fake ginger beard, glasses, and a blue T-shirt the same color as Shelley's iconic one, in case we didn't get the message.]] / Des: Ryan, your space mouse thing is complaining. Make it...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Des: Ryan, your space mouse thing is complaining. Make it stop. / Ryan: He's hungry for his acorns, Des. Also he ain't got any manners. / Ryan: I must've left the new tub at work. I'd better go back and get it. / Des: Take him with you. He's ruining Antiques Roadshow. / [[Ryan puts the bat in his pocket...
 
Scary Go Round 20080620 [[Ryan comes to the post office in the middle of the night. Comrade Bat is in his jacket pocket.]] / Ryan: Now you be quiet, Comrade Bat. If they see me, they might make me do some work, and I'm strictly off the clock. Don't want to accidentally get promoted to middle management. / [[Ryan opens his locker,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Now you be quiet, Comrade Bat. If they see me, they might make me do some work, and I'm strictly off the clock. Don't want to accidentally get promoted to middle management. / Postman 1: When does she make shore? / Postman 2: 2AM. The wreckers are in place. / Postman 2: Look at that. Do you know...
Scary Go Round 20080623 Ryan: Huf puf / [[Ryan runs into the house and leans, panting, against the door.]] / Ryan: Dang, dang, DANG! / [[He pounds on Amy's bedroom door.]] / Ryan: Amy! Ame! / <> / Amy: Go away! / [[She comes out of her bedroom in her woolly hat and a bedsheet.]] / Amy: Did you have a nightmare?...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan is running, out of breath]] / Ryan: Huf puf / [[He shuts the door behind him]] / Ryan: Dang, dang, DANG! / <> / Ryan: Amy! Ame! / Amy: Go away! / Amy: Did you have a nightmare? Or wet the bed? Did you have a nightmare about wetting the bed? / Ryan: Ame, what would you do if...
Scary Go Round 20080624 [[Amy is now dressed. In another room, Ryan turns on the light. Amy's T-shirt apparently reads "BRA".]] / Ryan: Ame, it was dark and terrifyin'. I caught three of my colleagues discussin' skulduggery. / Amy: Skulduggery you say? Tell me more! Was there a gun? / Ryan: Yeah! I only made it out of there...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Ame, it was dark and terrifyin'. I caught three of my colleagues discussin' skulduggery. / Amy: Skulduggery you say? Tell me more! Was there a gun? / Ryan: Yeah! I only made it out of there by pretendin' to be a simpleton. They suspected nothin' so I followed them to learn more. / Amy: A simpleton!...
Scary Go Round 20080625 [[Amy gestures expressively.]] / Amy: Ryan, it makes perfect sense. Postmen are the ultimate smugglers! They have vans... a delivery network... and all the requisite customs forms to keep the Inland Revenue off the scent! / Ryan: We have to call the police. / [[Amy shakes him.]] / <> / Amy:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Ryan, it makes perfect sense. Postmen are the ultimate smugglers! They have vans... a delivery network... ...and all the requisite customs forms to keep the inland revenue off the scent! / Ryan: We have to call the police. / [[Amy shakes Ryan]] <> / Amy: Don't be a fool, man! We don't...
Scary Go Round 20080626 [[Melanie knocks on the window.]] / <> / Melanie: Coo-ee! Hi Amy! / [[Amy lets her in.]] / Amy: Melanie, this is unexpected. / Melanie: You left this half-finished bottle of pop at work on Friday... Oh hi Ryan! / [[She holds out a bottle with an inch of soda left as she moves to the next...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy knocks at the window]] <> / Melanie: Coo-ee! Hi Amy! / Amy: Melanie, this is unexpected. / Melanie: You left this half-finished bottle of pop at work on friday... Oh hi Ryan! / Amy: I love it when my employees drop in unannounced on Sunday morning. But you knew that, right? / Melanie:...
 
Scary Go Round 20080627 [[Ryan stares into space at the prospect of meeting Melanie's parents.]] / Amy: Dinner at the house of the local magistrate! How delightful! / Ryan: I saved Melanie from a fire. The least I can do is marry her. Aside from the total lack of chemistry, she'll be a good spouse. / [[Amy has changed into...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Dinner at the house of the local magistrate! How delightful! / Ryan: I saved Melanie from a fire. The least I can do is marry her. Apart from the total lack of chemistry, she'd be a good spouse. / Ryan: Anyway, maybe I'll get killed foilin' those smugglers first. / Amy: See! For every downside,...
Scary Go Round 20080630 [[Ryan opens his wallet and a moth emerges.]] / Ryan: Three weeks to payday and me without a brass farthin'. I need to get my hands on some scratch. / [[The smugglers are eating his doughnuts.]] / Smuggler: What do you say, Ken? Let him in on the deal? / Ken: Well I didn't trust the lad. But then he brought...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Three weeks to payday andme without a brass farthin'. I need to get my hands on some scratch. / Postman 1: What do you say, Ken? Let him in on the deal? / Ken: Well I didn't trust the lad. But then he brought in, you know... ...the circle with jam within. / Postman 1: You seem in him a fellow...
Scary Go Round 20080701 [[Ryan and his newfound partner in crime Ken are skulking by the seaside at night. Ken has a crowbar.]] / Ryan: How do you wreck ships? I though a basic thing about sailors was that they understood boats. / Ken: We trap 'em with Old blinky, here. Dashed on the rocks, their bounty soon hits shore. / Ryan:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: How do you wreck ships? I thought a basic thing about sailors was that they understood boats. / Ken: We trap 'em with old blinky, here. Dashed on the rocks, their bounty soon hits shore. / Ryan: You crash them with a temporary lightouse? Don't boats got radar? / Ken: Hollywood nonsense! Most...
Scary Go Round 20080702 Ryan: What about the sailors? Not that I object to crimes and that... but they got wives and children and dogs. / Ken: Well, most cling to driftwood until rescue comes. Some make shore and receive summary justice. / [[They go down to the beach, where the other smugglers are preparing clubs, knives,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: What about the sailors? Not that I object to crimes and that... ...but they got wives and children and dogs. / Ken: Well, most cling to driftwood until rescue comes. Some make shore and receive summary justice. / Ken: 'Tis a little known fact... ...a sailor whose boat is wrecked soon comes filled...
Scary Go Round 20080703 [[On the bridge of a ship. The captain examines a moth in a jar. / <> / Captain: The Little Admiral indicates a safe heading of 41 degrees. Right through these rock-shaped waves. / Helmsman: Aye sir! / <> / [[The sailors go flying into the water.]] / Captain: All souls are doomed! / Helmsman:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The captain watches a moth in a jar, adorned with an easy chair]] / Captain: The little admiral indicates a safe heading of 41 degrees. Right through those rock-shaped waves. / First Mate: Aye sir! / [[The ship crashes into the rocks, and the crew comes flying off out of it into the sea]] <> / Captain:...
 
Scary Go Round 20080704 [[The smugglers make off with their loot in postal vans.]] / Ryan: I guess we're rich now, huh? / <> / Ken: All men must pay the piper, and we must pay Blackbeard! / Ryan: Woah, what, Blackbeard? / Ken: Blackbeard is the Ghost Who Walks! 8ft tall! Teeth like needles! Be quiet lest he steal your...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: I guess we're rich now, huh? / Ken: All men must pay the piper, and we must pay Blackbeard! / Ryan: Woah, what, Blackbeard? / Ken: Blackbeard is teh ghost who walks! 8ft tall! Teeth like needles! Be quiet lest he steal your breath! / Blackbeard: What have ye for me? / Postman 1: P-p-p-patio furniture. / Blackbeard:...
Scary Go Round 20080707 Ken: Boy, are you a fool, or drunk? No one talks back to Blackbeard. / [[They are drinking Ararat milk in an empty pub.]] / Ryan: Some men have the Bible. Others have the Koran. Let me put it simply. I have the oeuvre of Ray Parker Jr. To wit, sirs, I ain't afraid of no ghost. / [[Outside.]] / Ken: If...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ken: Boy, are you a fool, or drunk? No one talks back to Blackbeard. / Ryan: Some men have the Bible. Others have the Koran. Let me put it simply. I have the oeuvre of Mr Ray Parker Jr. To wit, sirs, I ain't afraid of no ghost. / Ken: If you make such a move again, we will throw you in the sea. / Ryan:...
Scary Go Round 20080708 Amy: Do you know who'll know about Blackbeard? Ernest Cromerty! He knows everything about the sea! / [[Des is on the floor and working out a jigsaw puzzle.]] / Des: No way! Every time he looks at me, he sees something that could only be improved by tempura. / [[In the car. Amy is driving, Ryan is dozing,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Do you know who'll know about Blackbeard? Ernest Cromerty! He knows everything about the sea! / Des: No way! Everytime he looks at me, he sees something that could only be improved by tempura. / [[Amy revs the car]] <> / Amy: Look, I promise, the second he turns on the deep fat fryer, we're...
Scary Go Round 20080709 Moon: Blinky the Narwhal was Ernest's childhood pet. They'd do everything together. / [[Ernest with a lollipop and in fancy dress, strolling through the circus with Blinky, passing a Freak Show.]] / Moon: But eventually Blinky grew too big for the Cromerty home and was kept outside. / [[Ernest's father...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Blinky and young Ernest are at a carnival, and have visited a freak show]] / Moon: Blinky the narwhal was Ernest's childhood pet. They'd do everything together. / [[Blinky has broken a teapot; Ernest's father kicks him out of the house, literally]] <> / Moon: But eventually Blinky grew too big...
Scary Go Round 20080710 [[Ryan speaks with Moon, who is in a 60's-style globular chair.]] / Ryan: Tell us more about Ernest's battle with the beast. / Moon: Well, it started soon after Blinky ran away. / Moon: Blinky cost Ernest his place at the Naval Academy / [[Blinky is in a wig, lipstick, and fake fishnetted human legs, in...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Tell us more about Ernest's battel with the beast. / Moon: Well, it started soon after Blinky ran away. / [[Blinky is dressed as a prostitute, posing in Ernest's dormroom]] / Moon: Blinky cost Ernest his place at the Naval Academy / Dean: What is the meaning of this? / [[Blinky is dressed as an...
 
Scary Go Round 20080711 Moon: Next thing I know, he dives in after Blinky! / Moon: They were fighting, it was awesome! But a narwhal's blubber repels all but the strongest blows / <> / Moon: So, mad with rage, Ernest tries to throttle the thing. but he can't get his hands round its big thick neck! / <> / Moon:...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Moon: Next thing I know, he dives in after Blinky! / Moon: They were fightin', it was awesome! But a narwhal's blubber repels all but the strongest blows. / Moon: So, mad with rage, Ernest tries to throttle the thing. But he can't get his hands round it's big thick neck! / Moon: He got so mad that...
Scary Go Round 20080714 Amy: That was absolutely fascinating. But what do you know about Blackbeard's ghost? / Moon: Oh that! Incredibly dangerous. / Moon: Gives off a sort of poison gas. If you look too hard at him, your soul goes straight to Hell. / Ryan: Is he a real ghost, or more like a magic pixie? / Moon: Arguably the...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: That was absolutely fascinating. But what do you know about Blackbeard's ghost? / Moon: Oh that! Incredibly dangerous. / Moon: Gives off a sort of poisonous gas. If you look too hard at him, your soul goes straight to hell. / Ryan: Is he a real ghost, or more like a magic pixie? / Moon: Arguably...
Scary Go Round 20080715 [[Ryan, Des, and Amy leave Ernest's - now Moon's - house. Ray waves; Moon smiles out the window.]] / Ryan: I like old Moon. She has a quality. / Amy: Yes I just bet you do! If she worked those eyelashes any harder, her eyelids would fall off. Then where would she be? / [[She rings both eyes with thumb...
Scary Go Round 20080715 [[Ryan, Des, and Amy leave Moon's house/boat. Ryan waves; Moon grins.]] / Ryan: I like old Moon. She has a quality. / Amy: Yes I just bet you do! If she worked those eyelashes any harder, her eyelids would fall off. Then where would she be? / [[Amy bug her eyes out and frames her fingers around them....
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: What are we doin' here? / Amy: Put this on. Did you forget about your lovely lunch with Melanie and her family? / Amy: Oh yes you did because you were too busy rubbing your thighs at the appallingly named Gibbous moon. Run along! / Ryan: Melanie's family are classy folks. This house is huge! Gots...
Scary Go Round 20080716 [[Amy is putting a tie on Ryan.]] / Ryan: What are we doin' here? / Amy: Put this on. Did you forget about your lovely lunch with Melanie and her family? / Amy: Oh yes you did because you were too busy rubbing your thighs at the appallingly named Gibbous Moon. Run along! / <> / Ryan: Melanie's...
Scary Go Round 20080717 [[Melanie Soap's huge father has an arm around Ryan, frowning. Ryan has a huge smile pasted over the terror on his face.]] / Mr Soap: Melanie is a very special girl, Ryan. You have my eternal gratitude for saving her. Tell me, have you ever bagged a grouse? / [[He pours some wine from a cubish bottle.]] / Mr...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mr Soap: Melanie is a very special girl, Ryan. You have my eternal gratitude for saving her. Tell me, have you ever bagged a grouse? / Mr Soap: Some say it's hard to kill a living thing, and it is. So I play a little game. / Ryan: A game, right, right. / Mr Soap: I imagine the bird doing terrible things,...
 
Scary Go Round 20080718 [[Ryan, Melanie, and Mr Soap at the dinner table.]] / Mr Soap: ...Smuggling is the bane of Sutton-on-Sea. Why, just last night a boatload of patio furniture was wrecked by those dogs. / Ryan: That is somethin' I don't know a lot about in general. / Mr Soap: Across the borough and beyond, hard-working...
Scary Go Round 20080718 [[At dinner. Ryan is extremely agitated.]] / Mr Soap: ...Smuggling is the bane of Sutton-on-Sea. Why, just last night a boatload of patio furniture was wrecked by those dogs. / Ryan: That is somethin' I don't know a lot about in general. / Mr Soap: Across the borough and beyond, hard-working families...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison <> / Des: What is this terrible music? / Ryan: It's Jimmy Buffet. I like it. His situation is the exact opposite of mine. / Ryan: He rides on boats and is happy. I wreck ships and I'm completely depressed about life. / Ryan: He's been playin' the same 8 songs since...
Scary Go Round 20080722 [[At the post office, Ryan bangs his head against his locker.]] / Smuggler: Ryan, are you ready for a little overtime tonight? / Ryan: If you mean am I ready for more smuggling, then yes. You know you are looking at a natural lover of crimes. / Smuggler (voiceover): Good, good! Tonight a ship makes...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan, are you ready for a little overtime tonight? / Ryan: If you mean am I ready for more smuggling, then yes. You know you are looking at a natural lover of crimes. / Postman 1: Good, good! Tonight a ship makes port bearing the Sabled Dragonfly of Old Bangalore. Its eyes are jewels, its body is a...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Melanie holds a sticker reading: Look! Listen Vibrate SMILE]] / Melanie: Ryan left his dentist sticker behind! / Melanie: I should take it to him! He must be wondering where it is! / Melanie: Papa, I'm going to... oh! What are you doing? / Mr Soap: Preparing for some night fishing with the fellows,...
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Don't you worry about bein' in league with a demon priate straight out of hell? / Ken: I've thought about it many a dark mornign on my postal route. / Ken: Most men are flattened by mediocrity and the modern mill-owners who enslave us. / Ken: Out amongst the surf and the spume, we simply take...
 

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