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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: So you live in this caravan?
/ Natalie Durand: Yes! I am on a little retreat. To paint, and reflect on existence. Existence reflects a little easier through a good Bordeaux. / Ryan Beckwith: There sure seems to be a lot of death in these pictures...
/ Natalie Durand: It is ze very knowledge of death zat makes life so exciting! / Ryan Beckwith: For me it was always the knowledge of Go-Karts that made life exciting. Like a real car. But smaller. And more violent. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031014 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: So you live in this caravan?
/ French lady: yes i am on a little retreat to paint and refelct on existance. Existance reflects a little easier through a good bordeaux / Tim: There sure seems to be a lot of death in these pictures..
/ French Lady: It is the very knowledge of death zat makes life so exciting! / Tim: For me it was always the knowledge of go-karts that made life exciting. Like a real car. but samller. and more vioent. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031014 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Natalie, did you ever sort of stop and think what the funniest word is?
/ Natalie Durand: Ha ha! Yes! Eet is "erotic"! / Natalie Durand: "Oh my, what an erotic mailbox. It gives ze postman ze chills"! "Please pass me a can of peas. Wait, no, do you not have one zat is more erotic?" / Ryan Beckwith: So how come you're living in a caravan and not you know Toulouse or something.
/ Natalie Durand: It was a bequest. From my aunt, see. An artist must know suffering, so I decide to summer here in England. Ze summer of cynicism and boiled beef. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031015 |
| Scary Go Round 20031016 | Natalie: So Ryan, with your glass of wine and cigarette, do you feel better about the life?
/ Ryan: Man... yes I do! / Natalie: Zen get out! You may visit me again when you are not dressed as your grandfather! Your grandfather on ze day he meets ze Queen! / Ryan: Well friend bat, it has been a real interesting night. So maybe the date did not go so well because of the whittling. But that French girl sure had a way about her. A proper grown up lady. You are going to have to speak up friend, I do not understand sonar so good. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031016 |
| Scary Go Round 20031017 | Shelley: Amy, listen to these perky, upbeat sounds!
/ Amy: Listen to that tuneless but assured humming! Maybe Ryan's date went okay! / Shelley: Ryan, is that a new t-shirt? You've changed!
/ Ryan: It is a half-hatched chicken with spider legs, exhaust pipes shootin' smoke and some cowboy style writin'. / Ryan: If ever a t-shirt said "living the dream", this is it.
/ Shelley: It says "Fate baked me a tasty cake"! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031017 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mrs. Birch: And where do you think you are going on this, the Lord's day?
/ Ryan Beckwith: I got a date, Mrs. Birch, with a young lady. / Mrs. Birch: You would do well to think less of young ladies and more of your studies! I have good boys here, boys who go to Oxford and Cambridge! / Ryan Beckwith: Aw Mrs. Birch, we'll probably spend most of the day helpin' out orphans. Teachin' them to ride bikes. Showin them... self worth... and how to do... algebra! Bye! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031020 |
| Scary Go Round 20031021 | Natalie: So you live wiz a terrible dried-up old lady? Why? Zis is the living end!
/ Ryan: The rent is only a guinea a week. I don't even know what a guinea is. I just give her my loose change.
/ Natalie: So she is cuckoo like a cuckoo!
/ [[Walliams Crump memorial]] / Ryan: I'd feel bad about it but the livin' standards are diabolical.
/ Natalie: 'Ow diabolical can zey be for a guinea a week?
/ [[Bavarian, Wurst, ketchup, catsup]] / Ryan: Sometimes you can't tell the rats from the spiders.
/ Natalie: Ha ha!
/ Ryan: All you know is you just woke up and something's sittin' on your face.
/ [[hot dogs, sausages, bench, park]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031021 |
| Scary Go Round 20031022 | Natalie: What is zis place Ryan?
/ Ryan: It's Beckwith's Folly. It was designed by my great-great-uncle. / Ryan: The city council gave him a lot of money to build it on account of the fact that he drew very nice plans.
/ Natalie: 'E had many pens! / Ryan: Unfortunately he was addicted to pork pies. The aspic jelly ate away the part of his brain that deals with landscape architectin' sense.
/ Natalie: Zat's why there's a gazebo shaped like Alfred 'Itchcock's head and holds for tramps?
/ Tramp 1: Gumblin mums
/ Tramp 2: Arr. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031022 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Natalie: What is zis place Ryan?
/ Ryan: It's Beckwith's Folly. It was designed by my great-great uncle. / [[As they peruse an informational sign]]
/ Ryan: The city council gave him a lot of money to build it on account of the fact that he drew very nice plans.
/ Natalie: 'E had many pens! / Ryan: Unfort'nately he was addicted to pork pies. The aspic jelly ate away the part of the brain that deals with landscape architectin' sense.
/ Natalie: Zat's why there's a gazebo shaped like Alfred 'Itchcock's head and holes for tramps?
/ Tramp 1: Gumblin mums
/ Tramp 2: Arr. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031022 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Natalie Durand: Well, ze Tackleford Cake Museum was every bit as spellbinding as you suggest. I am delighted.
/ Ryan Beckwith: They got some awesomely antiquated cakes. / Ryan Beckwith: Aw, it's raining.
/ Natalie Durand: What are we to do? Blame the sky? / Natalie Durand: You are gentleman, Ryan, wid ze umbrella you almost certainly stole.
/ Mrs. Birch: Do you see, Maureen, do you see? A cold chill goes through me when that girl is nearby. What does our lady say?
/ Maureen: She's crying! Her tears taste like... wintergreen!
/ Other Old Woman: I don't think God was invited on this date. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031023 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mrs. Birch: Now ladies, as you know, I have a young man under this roof who I consider in my spiritual care. / Mrs. Birch: This young man has come under the influence of what I believe to be a succubus, an evil spirit!
/ Maude: Drive it out! With a spoon! / Maureen: Nothing gets the pus out of a boil like a hot poultice. Can we put a poultice on a demond?
/ Other Old Woman: My old mother swore by rat poison. Let's put some poison down. Demond poison.
/ Mrs. Birch: Poultice... Poison...
/ Maude: And spoon!
/ Mrs. Birch: ...Spoon. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031024 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mrs. Birch: This is Father Patrick Devlin. He's an expert in exorcising spirits.
/ Father Patrick Devlin: Good evening ladies.
/ Maude: Ooh, exorcisms! My Ernie swore by them. He'd be thrashing around all afternoon, but after a brief visit by the parson he was quiet as a lamb. / Father Patrick Devlin: It takes the form of a young lady and lives in an old caravan by the playground?
/ Mrs. Birch: An infernal two-wheeled Jezebel! / Mrs. Birch: Young Mister Beckwith's off to a shindig this evening, which means we can deal with his phantasm in peace.
/ Maude: I've got me spoon! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031027 |
| Scary Go Round 20031028 | Shelley: Fallon, I am feeling very self conscious dressed as you.
/ Fallon: A highly polished bottom is a serious cross to bear, Shelley.
/ Amy: Kitties!
/ Ralph: Hur hur hur.
/ Tessa: Ralph! / Hugo: You see with Ryan and I it is simply a question of "who are you going to call".
/ Ryan: The answer is us, I mean it's easy.
/ Rachel: Professor Len, are you meant to be Slimer?
/ Len: All I know is that I'm very, very unhappy. / {{each other, skeleton, daphne, ghostbusters, death, slimer, ghost}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031028 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Winters (dressed as Fallon Young): So is your new lady friend coming to the party, Ryan?
/ Ryan Beckwith (dressed as Ghostbuster): Um yeah I gots to pick her up in half an hour. / Shelley Winters (dressed as Fallon Young): Awww Ryan I'm so happy for you! A nice girl who does not have a disease!
/ Ryan Beckwith (dressed as Ghostbuster): Damn there's a lot of glare coming off you ass, Shel. / Amy Chilton (dressed as Shelley Winters): Wow! Crippled genius! Tim, what a great costume!
/ ? (dressed as Doctor Who): And he never comes out of character.
/ Tim Jones: Get me to the bar.
/ Hugo Rodriguez (dressed as other Ghostbuster): This be a bad scene Ryan. He is twitchin' like the compulsive gambler at 4.55pm on wages day. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031029 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The four old ladies and Father Patrick Devlin trudge towards the caravan at night. Maureen swats at bats flying around her]] / [[Natalie Durand in her caravan, preparing for the Halloween party]]
/ Natalie: Natalie you little devil. 'Oo will knock zem dead?
/ Natalie: You is 'oo, see? / [[Outside, the band of ladies have been joined by the spectre that has been haunting Ryan]]
/ Ivy: Such a fine caravan should not belong to the forces of darkness, ladies.
/ Ivy: Lucifer has no respect for a chemical toilet. / {{Story: Ballad of the Man}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031030 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Natalie sings along with the radio]]
/ Natalie Durand: Joe le taxi y va pas partout y marche pas au soda son saxo jaune. Connait toutes les rues par coeur tous les p'tits bars tous les coins noirs. / Natalie Durand: What is zat infernal noise outside? / Father Patrick Devlin: O clemens, o pia, o dulcis virgo Maria. Amen!
/ Maureen: Louder, priest! Show the demond that we mean business!
/ Natalie Durand: Good God it is ze old folks home doing ze old folks home doing ze trick or treats. Ze senile brain forgets at toffee will pull out zair little peanut teeth. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031031 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Natalie Durand is in her caravan, getting ready for the Halloween party. Music is playing, she has a jack-o-lantern, her wife-beater reads "Zobi." She is singing along with the music.]]
/ Natalie/Music: Joe le taxi y va pas partout y marche pas a soda son saxo jaune
/ Natalie/Music: Connait toutes les rues par coeur tous les p'tits bars tous les coins noirs / [[She has her airline stewardess costume on, with the music still playing.]]
/ Natalie: What is zat infernal noise outside? / [[Cut-out view reveals the old ladies and Father Patrick Devlin outside the caravan while Natalie peers out her window at them.]]
/ Devlin: O clemens, o pia, o dulcis virgo maria. Amen!
/ Maureen: Louder, priest! Show that demond that we mean business!
/ Natalie: Good god it is ze old folks home doing ze trick or treats.
/ Natalie: Ze senile brain forgets zat toffee will pull out zair little peanut teeth. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031031 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mrs. Birch: Out damned spirit, out!
/ Natalie Durand: What are you shouting about, crazy English? I am not going anywhere! I 'ave a caravan permit from ze local council! Where is ze separation of church and state? / Other Old Woman: Back to hell with thee!
/ Natalie Durand: Hey! France 'as its problems, but I am about to take ze exception. / Maureen: We know what you're up to , you ghastly parasite, and we want you out!
/ Natalie Durand: So zis is ze famous English 'ospitality. Four noisy old ladies and a vicar. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031103 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Natalie Durand having removed accessories from and unbuttoned her stewardess jacket (she is still wearing the "Zobi" shirt) has emerged from the caravan to confront the noisy old ladies. Mrs. Birch holds her crucifix in front of her, arms extended, while Old Lady Maude stands behind her.]]
/ Mrs. Birch: Out damned spirit, out!
/ Natalie: What are you shouting about, crazy English? I am not going anywhere!
/ Natalie: I 'ave a caravan permit from ze local council!
/ Natalie: Where is ze separation of church and state? / [[Old Lady Ivy advances. With her left hand, her thumb and index finger touching, she reaches towards disgusted Natalie.]]
/ Ivy: Back to Hell with thee!
/ Natalie: Hey! France 'as its problems, but I am about to take ze exception. / [[Now its Old Lady Maureens turn, with her arms reaching up. Father Patrick Devlin's eyes are closed. In resignation, Natalie turns and knocks her head against the caravan, causing the stewardess cap to flip up.]]
/ Maureen: We know what you're up to, you ghastly parasite, and we want you out!
/ Natalie: So zis is ze famous Englis 'ospitality. Four noisy old ladies and a vicar.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031103 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mrs. Birch: We know what you are, spectre!
/ Other Old Woman: Stop preying on our brave boys!
/ Natalie Durand: Are my ears telling me a lie or do you think I am a ghost? Consumption of ze mad cow 'as scrambled what little brain God gives you. / Natalie Durand: If I am made of mist, you will not mind me setting about your persons with ze spectral shoe!
/ Maude: Gumph! / Natalie Durand: Run, priest run! I 'ave made a note of your face and I am telling Satan all about it. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031104 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Maureen: Ooh! Me angina!
/ Other Old Lady: We'll be back, girlie you see if we aren't! / Ryan Beckwith (dressed as Ghostbuster): What's goin' on here?
/ Natalie Durand: Zese delightful old ladies were just leaving. Zey were attempting to exorcise me from the caravan area. / Ryan Beckwith (dressed as Ghostbuster): Mrs. Birch thinks you're a ghost? Well damn that doesn't make a bit of sense. She spends most of her time thinkin' about coupons. / Natalie Durand: Ryan...
/ Ryan Beckwith (dressed as Ghostbuster): Can you be addicted to coupons? I mean, they're not a chemical, but some of them are colourful and that is sort of soothing and-
/ Natalie Durand: RYAN! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031105 |
| The Sad Tale of Jean Choux-Fleur | Natalie: Ryan, perhaps I do not exercise ze ultimate honesty. Your old ladies may 'ave detected zat I am 'aunted.
/ Ryan: Aw man haunted. / Natalie: I 'oped that by coming to England I could escape my 'aunting but zis is obviously not ze case.
/ Ryan: This is a bad deal I mean ghosts are bad. / Natalie (narrating): Ze story commences in ze port town of La Rochelle where I grew up.
/ - Two summers ago I work in ze doll factory to make a little money.
/ - Here I catch ze eye of ze local Simpleton.
/ - 'Is heart is full of love for me but he 'as one short leg and 'is nose drips.
/ - Also 'e smells of liniment. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031106 |
| The Two Great Loves of Jean Choux-Fleur | Natalie (narrating): I was painting doll faces for a pittance when I caught Jean Choux-Fleur's eye. / Natalie (narrating): 'Is constant presence was at first flattering, then annoying.
/ Natalie: Shoo, Jean Choux-Fleur! Return to your mop and bucket at once! / Natalie (narrating): In 'is affections I replaced the wig affixed to a broom that 'ad been the focus of 'is love since 'is seventh birthday.
/ - In my 'eart I felt a little sad for Wig-Broom.
/ - She would never know ze joy of tiny wig-brooms in 'er life. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031107 |
| The Life and Death of Jean Choux-Fleur | Natalie (narrating): Ze matter came to a head on my last day before returning to art school. My fellow workers hold a small party for me. / Natalie (narrating): Jean Choux-Fleur decides zis is ze day he will shout his love for me.
/ Jean: Je t'adore, Natalie Durand! / Natalie (narrating): It is inevitable at zis point zat he falls into the doll machine. So tragic.
/ - Such was 'is life, smashed to pieces amid ze playthings of little girls.
/ - Most sad. Reduced to Goo. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031110 |
| Scary Go Round 20031111 | Ryan: So you're haunted by some ol' guy who used to love you? Isn't that sort of scary?
/ Natalie: I do not let it worry me. I cannot see 'im! / Natalie: Only those sensitive to such things witness 'is manifestations.
/ Ryan: Aw hell I can't see my hand in front of my face two days out of three. / Natalie: As a spirit 'e is as ineffectual in death as 'e was in life.
/ Ryan: He could be watchin us now.
/ [[t-shirt: BUSTIN MAKES ME FEEL GOOD; scarf]] / Natalie: What if he is? I 'ope we give 'im a good show!
/ Ryan: Ghosts lookin' at me naked seems worse now it is a rational fear. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031111 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mrs. Birch: Ladies, that ghost chased us off good and proper. I fear that young Mister Beckwith's soul is doomed.
/ Maureen: Eat your chips, Elsie, we'll think of something.
/ Ivy: Fat lot of damnable use that priest was, Elsie. He was yellow. I'd defrock him myself given half a chance. / Ivy: A piteous sight, the man of the cloth heading for the hills, a dark patch of wee-wee spreading across his trousers.
/ Maude: It were dark, Ivy. / Ivy: Later I saw him in the gutter, praying to a false deity, of his own creation.
/ Maude: Shut up Ivy, we were at bingo all evening. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031112 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Old Ladies are outside of the church. Mrs. Birch and Maude look on as Ivy explains. Maude has a bat in her bag.]]
/ Ivy: Ladies, there is no need to worry. I have solved our litle problem.
/ Maude: How? How? / [[Ivy hunches over. The background has been shaded red]]
/ Ivy: That devilish sprite and her caravan are a pox upon Keane End Common.
/ Ivy: I have taken steps to show her she isn't welcome. / [[It is night outside the caravan. An orangutan, wearing a cap and a jacket with a banana in the pocket, is pouring kerosene on the ground. He has a match sticking out of his mouth.]]
/ Ivy [[narrating]]: I asked for a sign, and God said, send an orangutan tonight, with a can of kerosene and a match.
/ Other lady [[narrating]]: The Lord didn't say that thing in the Bible, Ivy. Not ever.
/ Ivy (presumably) [[narrating]]: Ours is a versatile god. He thinks outside the spiritual box. / {{story: Ballad of the Man} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031113 |
| Friend Bat has bad news. And it's not half-eaten grasshoppers. | Friend Bat: Skree skree skree! Skree!
/ Ryan: Friend Bat, what are you hootin' and hollerin' about?
/ - We can look for acorns in the morning..
/ - You have basically got to understand that I am not nocturnal like you. / [[Overhead shot of a trailer in flames..]] / Ryan: All right, I will follow you.
/ - But if this is just another pile of half-eaten grasshopeers, you gots to realise that to me that is just not that special. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031114 |
| Scary Go Round 20031117 | Len: So Muffin, I said to Dean Clegg, if the department doesn't get another GBP30,000 for homburg hats and notepads, we're talking wildcat strikes and shouting.
/ Amy: You're a tough negotiator, Daddy!
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031117 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Natalie Durand's caravan is burning.]] / [[Ryan Beckwith approaches the fire, followed by the spectre that haunted Natalie.]] / {{no dialogue}}
/ {{story: Ballad of the Man}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031118 |
| Scary Go Round 20031119 | Ryan: Look, here is the toothbrush she used to brush her teeth. / Ryan: And here's a bit of the coat she maybe wore on a day it was cold. / Ryan: And this is maybe a pen she used to write a shopping list, I mean, I can't be sure of that...
/ Ryan: when she wrote a list of the things that she liked.
/ Natalie: Ryan, why are you not listening to me? I am fine! I am 'ere! Turn around! / {{fire, explosion, caravan}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031119 |
| Scary Go Round 20031120 | Natalie: Stop talking to ze police-men! Turn around and listen to me Ryan!
/ Ryan: I was out... takin' my bat for a walk... my bat... / Natalie: Oh good god I am ze dead. / Natalie: I will just sit and wait for heaven. Just waiting for ze wings. Any time now. La la. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031120 |
| Scary Go Round 20031121 | Amy: Ryan's little French girlfriend blew up... This is the worst thing. What do we say? I mean what do we say?
/ Shelley: Just be nice, Ames. You remember how. Pretend you want something.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031121 |
| Shopgirl | [[Amy's Nametag says: I'm AMY.. Here to help]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031123 |
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