You're browsing the archives of Scary Go Round.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

October 5, 2004 [[A man, Bob Crowley, is sitting up in a large bed. Sleeping women are on either side of him. Next to the bed is a balding crone.]] / Crone: Today is the day! / Today is the day! / They are coming! / Crowley: Get out, you hellbound old crone! / Can't you see I am busy with my whores? / And my goat? / [[Crowley is following the old woman.]] / Crone: Come! / Come! / Crowley: Damn you, woman! / I'm Bob Crowley, not a dog! / Help me find my britches. / Crowley: I didn't become the wickedest man in all London by skimping on debauchery. / Curses, my head's as thick as a Jesuit's mitten. / [[The crone and Crowley are sitting at a table. The crone is holding a book and pointing at a picture of two women: one red-haired and the other blonde with purple bangs. In front of Crowley are chicken entrails.]] / Crone: It is in the prophecy1 / The painted nephelim are coming! / He who controls them will be king of all creation! / Crowley: This is exciting news, hag. / But you could have cleaned up the chicken entrails before you told me.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041005
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Hag: Today is the day! Today is the day! They are coming! / Bob Crowley: Get out, you hellbound old crone! Can't you see I am busy with my whores? And my goat? / Hag: Come! Come! / Bob Crowley: Damn you, woman! I'm Bob Crowley, not a dog! Help me find my britches. / Bob Crowley: I didn't become the wickedest man in all London by skimping on debauchery. Curses, my head's as thick as a Jesuit's mitten. / Hag: It is in the prophecy! The painted nephelim are coming! He who controls them will be king of all creation! / Bob Crowley: This is exciting news, hag. But you could have cleaned up the chicken entrails before you told me.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041005
October 6, 2004 [[Crowley and the hag are standing in front of a club. A sign next to the front door says "Naughty Hellfire Club." There is a group of hooded figures huddled by the door.]] / Crowley: Now, be a good hag and wait outside with the others. / Hag: Merr. / Crowley: And for God's sake, try not to gouge anyone's eye out today. / [[Crowley is inside the club, walking with a beautiful black-haired woman.]] / Crowley: Blackie, the place is a-buzz! / Woman: Yes sir. / Every self-proclaimed magus speaks of a prophecy coming to pass. / Crowley: Curses! / Times like this, I wish I'd followed father's advice and gone into slum-lording. / Woman: Sir! / These men are fleas next to Mr Crowley's OUTRAGEOUS wickedness. / [[The black-haired women is standing next to a group of three men sitting in chairs. The first has Asian eyes and the outline of a Chinese dragon sitting on his head. The second is very old. The third has lots of facial hair and hair on his hands.]] / Woman: Walton Fong's love of opium distracts him from the business of evil. / Sir Bentine Sellers is 92 and ill-equipped for malefaction. / And the persistent lycanthropy of Lord Pitt dulls his edge.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041006
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Bob Crowley: Now, be a good hag and wait outside with the others. / Hag: Merr. / Bob Crowley: And for God's sake, try not to gouge anyone's eye out today. / Bob Crowley: Blackie, the place is a-buzz! / Blackie: Yes sir. Every self-proclaimed magus speaks of a prophecy coming to pass. / Bob Crowley: Curses! Times like this, I wish I'd followed father's advice and gone into slum-lording. / Blackie: Sir! These men are fleas next to Mr. Crowley's outrageous wickedness. / Blackie: Walton Fong's love of opium distracts him from the business of evil. Sir Bentine Sellers is 92 and ill-equipped for malefaction. And the persistent lycanthropy of Lord Pitt dulls his edge.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041006
October 7, 2004 [[Amy and Shelley are getting off of a train.]] / Shelley: I don't think it was very nice to tell the people on the train that I'd had seven children. / And it was very irresponsible to say that I got my figure back "with tuberculosis". / Amy: Harmless japes! / [[Amy and Shelley are walking down an urban street.]] / Shelley: You see how harmless it is when you set a trend for... for... / Amy: For? / Shelley: For askin' the infirm to cough in your face! / Amy: These were experimental times for biology, Shel. / I'm sure it's nothing they hadn't already tried. Prove it. / [[Amy and Shelley are sitting at a desk, going through a calendar.]] / Amy: April 1831. "How one lung might usefully be made into a tobacco pouch". / May 1827. "The restorativ qualities of mercury" / March 1827. "The guinea pig as replacement kidney". / [[Shelley puts up her index and middle finger of each hand, with the back of the hand towards Amy.]] / Shelley: All right, new quiz. / Guess how many fingers I'm holding up.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041007
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: I don't think it was very nice to tell the people on the train that I'd had seven children. / Amy Chilton: Harmless japes! / Shelley Winters: And it was very irresponsible to say that I got my figure back "with tuberculosis". / Shelley Winters: You see how harmless it is when you set a trend for... for... / Amy Chilton: For? / Shelley Winters: For askin' the infirm to cough in your face! / Amy Chilton: These were experimental times for biology, Shel. I'm sure it's nothing they hadn't already tried. / Shelley Winters: Prove it. / Amy Chilton: April 1831. "How one lung might usefully be made into a tobacco pouch". May 1827. "The restorative qualities of mercury." March 1827. "The guinea pig as replacement kidney". / Shelley Winters: All right, new quiz. Guess how many fingers I'm holding up. / <>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041007
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[What looks like biblical text with an illustration of Shelly and Amy, Shelly has angel wings]] / Text: The Painted nephilim will come from a distant country. burne by an Orbe though Fierce Baters and an incontemplatable vastinss. / One will give cry of skeletons and dirt, and Cannot be Smote. the other is Bain and Casily Led with trinkets. / The Orbe is hot and does Burne to the touch, but can also Invigorate and Refresh the traveller. / he who holds that Orbe can command not just this land, but all lands, at all times, and know all things, provided he has Brote them Down, as no man's mind is as infinite as all space and Time. / (Just draw a skeleton or some Exposed Organs underneath this Prophecy to fill up the page, Dieter.) / [[Bob Crowley looks over the text while Blackie looks over his shoulder]] / Crowley: They are here in London town, now! The stars and the entrails say it! / Crowley: But how to catch these fairies? / [[Blackie walks away]] / Blackie: All creatures need food and shelter, Mr. Crowley. / Blackie: Even your nephilim must rest somewhere. / [[Crowley grins while Blackie rolls her eyes]] / Crowley: Blackie, if the great minds of our age had not oft written that a woman's head is full of sealing wax and string... / Crowley: I'd mark you the equal of any man. / Blackie: A shame, sir, that is must be so.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041008
October 8, 2004 [[This is a page out of a Medieval text. In the center is a picture of Amy and Shelley. It reads: / The Painted nephilim will come from a distant country, borne by an Orbe throgh Fierce Waters and an incontemplatable vastness. / One will give a cry of skeletons and dirt, and Cannot be Smote, the other is Van and Easily Led with trinkets. / The Orbe is hot and does Burne to the touch, but can also Invigorate and Refresh the traveller. / he who holds that Orbe can command not just this land, but all lands, at all times, and know all things, provided he has Wrote them Down, as no man's mind is as infinite as all space and Time. / (Just draw a skeleton or some Exposed Organs underneath This Prophecy to fill up the page, Dieter.)]] / [[Blackie and Crowley are standing next to the medieval text.]] / Crowley: They are here in London town, now! / The stars and the entrains say it! / But how to catch these fairies? / Blackie: All creatures need food and shelter, Mr. Crowley. / Even your nephilim must rest somewhere. / Crowley: Black, if the great minds of our age had not oft written that a woman's head is full of seaing wax and string... / ... I'd mark you the equal of any man. / Blackie: A shame, sir, that it must be so.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041008
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Bob Crowley: What news, The Orphan? Did you hunt the Fairy Folk as I asked? / The Orphan: 'Appen as I did sir, Mr. Crowley sir. And never did I clap eyes on such a pair of ladies. I followed 'em good and proper for a whole day like you said. / The Orphan: They're staying in lodgings near Temple Bar, sir, but of the eve they step out for making merry. I watched 'em real careful like in my disguise. 'Ventually the publican ejected them for 'aving more fun than was godly. / Bob Crowley: And what of their mystical orb? / The Oprhan: Their "orbs" was mystical and magical sir! 'Appen i 'ad never seen such nice ones. / The Orphan: You needn't 'ave paid me a crown to look at their orbs, Mr. Crowley sir! / Bob Crowley: Get out, The Orphan, get out.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041011
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Crowley: What news, The Orphan? Did you hunt the fairy folk as I asked? / The Orphan: 'Appen as I did sir. / The Orphan: And never did I clap eyes on such a pair of ladies. / The Orphan: I followed em good and proper for a whole day like you said. / The Orphan: They're staying in lodgings near the Temple Bar, sir, but of the eve they step out for making merry. / The Orphan: I watched 'em real careful like in my disguise. / The Orphan: 'Ventually the publican ejected them for 'aving more fun than was godly. / Crowley: And what of their mystical orb? / The Orphan: Their "orbs" was mystical and magical, sir! 'Appen I 'ad never seen such nice ones. / The Orphan: You needn't 'ave paid my a crown to look at their orbs, Mr Crowley sir! / Crowley: Get out, The Orphan, get out.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041011
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Orphan: Pardon me ladies but 'appen my grandfather 'as fallen in an alley and is unable to get up. / Shelley Winters: Do you know first aid, Amy? / Amy Chilton: I think you just keep wrapping bandages round until it soaks up the blood. Is that right? / Amy Chilton: Where's your grandfather, small, dirty, boy? / Shelley Winters: I think he's crawled away! / Shelley Winters: Or been eaten by... curs. / Cutthroat: If ye ladies value yer skins, ye'll hand over yer purses. / Amy Chilton: Rush him, Shelley! Rush him! / Shelley Winters: Sure! Do you want me to throw myself on the knife or just go beserk? / Amy Chilton: Whatever works for you!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041012
October 12, 2004: Mugged in Old London [[Shelley and Amy are sitting on benches. A small, dirty, and pathetic-looking boy has just come up to them and is standing in front of them while Amy eats an apple.]] / Boy: Pardon me ladies but 'appen my grandfather 'as fallen in an alley and is unable to get up. / Shelley: Do you know first aid, Amy? / Amy: I think you just keep wrapping bandages round until it soaks up the blood. / Is that right? / [[The small boy has led Amy and Shelley into a narrow, dark alley and is standing behind them. Amy and Shelley are looking around the alley.]] / Amy: Where's your grandfather, small, dirty boy? / Shelley: I think he's crawled away! / Shelley: Or been eaten by... curs. / [[Suddenly a man wielding a knife appears, threatening the women.]] / The man (in a scary voice): If ye ladies value yer skins, ye'll hand over yer purses. / Amy: Rush him, Shelley! / Rush him! / Shelley (sarcastically): Sure! / Do you want me to throw myself on the knife or just go beserk? / Amy: Whatever works for you!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041012
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Landlord: Ladies, if you can't pay your bill, I'm keeping your items. This teapot clock must be worth a shilling or two at least. / Amy Chilton: N-no! We need it! For... um, it's an heirloom! / Shelley Winters: A worthless heirloom! / Shelley Winters: This is a catastrophe, Amy, a catastrophe! / Amy Chilton: Time travel sucks a big one. They never teach you that at school. I've got sixpence left. Let's seek inspiration in the trusty gin bottle. / Blackthorne Templeton: Down on your luck, girls? A healthy pair like you could soon turn things around. Come by and see me. / [[Blackie hands the girls an advertisement. A close-up appears in the next panel.]] / [[A small title above reads: AVOID LOSS OF GOOD STANDING, CHOLERA. Beneath it in larger type is printed: LADIES OF QUALITY REQUIRED. The text of the whole advertisement is: Are you a gentlewoman who has fallen on hard times? Do you have the grace and poise necessary to move in polite circles - while lacking the pecuniary necessities to enter those same surrounds? The Naughty Hellfire Club of Soho Square, London, a Gentlemen's Club of high standing, requires hostesses of the highest calibre, to-day! Apply in person to Miss Blackthorne Templeton, the Naughty Hellfire Club, Soho Square, Westminster, London. Beneath the text is a seal with a great bird, and text underneath reading cum quantum poterat dixerat hinsidias, a quote from Catullus.]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041013
October 13, 2004: Thrown out of the inn [[Amy and Shelley are standing in front of the innkeeper of the hotel they're staying at. The innkeeper is holding their time machine (which is a blue teapot with a clock on the side).]] / Inkeeper: Ladies, if you can't pay your bill, I'm keeping your items. / This teapot clock must be worth a shilling or two at least. / Amy: N-no! / We need it! / For... um, it's an heirloom! / Shelley: A WORTHLESS heirloom! / [[Amy and Shelley are walking out of the inn, looking dejected.]] / Shelley: This is a catastrophe, Amy, a catastrophe! / Amy: Time travel sucks a big one. / They never teach you THAT at school. / I've got sixpence left. / Let's seek inspiration in the trusty gin bottle. / [[Blackthorne (Blackie) approaches the pair and hands them a pamphlet.]] / Blackthorne: Down on your luck, girls? / A healthy pair like you could soon turn things around. / Come by and see me. / [[A close-up of the pamphlet is seen.]] / It reads: AVOID LOSS OF GOOD STANDING, CHOLERA / LADIES OF QUALITY REQUIRED / Are you a gentlewoman who has fallen on hard times? / Do you have the grace and poise necessary to move in polite circles - while lacking the pecuniary necessities to enter those same surrounds? / The Naughty Hellfire Club of Soho Square, London, a Gentlemen's Club of high standing, requires hostesses of the highest calibre, to-day! / Apply in person to Miss Blackthorne Templeton, the Naughty Hellfire Club, Soho Square, Westminster, London. / [[The text is followed by an eagle with outspread wings drawn inside a circle. Underneath the image is a latin phrase.]] / The latin: cum quantum poterat dixerat insidias / {{A rough translation: Whenever, with as much effort, he could have said "ambush." The phrase is adapted from Catullus' Carmen 84, line 4.}}
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041013
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Amy, this situation is giving me extreme stresses. I detect a change in my body chemistry, soon I'll turn green and get massive. Then there'll be some extreme smashing of things and... inappropriate snarling. / [[A picture of Shelley, with green skin and almost-insufficient clothing, holding a cow over her head, appears to the left with the attribution Source: Anger Quarterly.]] / Amy Chilton: You'd be a terrible incredible Hulk. Stroking cats slightly harder than normal. / Amy Chilton: When the Hulk got big, he never once popped out. / Shelley Winters: Ames, this is no time to practice the fine art of being lewd. / Amy Chilton: His trousers would stretch to many times the size. He never mooned his enemies. That's the true miracle of science I think. / Shelley Winters: You're not helping, Amy. Rage... building. "Shelley smash... puny egg that is already partially cracked!"
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041014
October 14, 2004 [[Amy and Shelley are sitting inside on a bench, next to a window.]] / Shelley: Amy, this situation is giving me extreme stresses. / I detect a change in my body chemistry, soon I'll turn green and get massive. / [[Shelly imagines herself as a girl version of the Incredible Hulk, with green skin and holding a cow over her head.]] / Shelley: Then there'll be some extreme smashing of things and... inappropriate SNARLING. / Amy: You'd be a terrible Hulk. / Stroking cats SLIGHTLY HARDER THAN NORMAL. / Amy [[looks pensive]]: When the Hulk got big, he never once popped out. / Shelley: Ames, this is no time to practice the fine art of being lewd. / Amy: His trousers would stretch to many times the size. / He never mooned his enemies. / That's the true miracle of science I think. / [[Shelley looks out the window with an enraged expression on her face.]] / Shelley: You're not helping, Amy. / Rage... BUILDING. / "Shelley smash... puny EGG THAT IS ALREADY PARTIALLY CRACKED!"
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041014
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Look at us Amy, working at the Naughty Hellfire Club is going to end badly. I can tell. / Amy Chilton: Nonsense. We'll make the money we need to buy the time teapot back in a day or so and we'll be off. With -ow!-cheeky tales to tell and a new, worldly air. / Blackthorne Templeton: I'll take your eyeglasses. Gentlemen are here to be entertained, not reminded of their schoolmistresses. / [[Bob Crowley's eyes are visible peering out through eyeholes in the painting.]] / Blackthorne Templeton: The suspicious one is half blind and the other suspects nothing. Do what you will with them. / Bob Crowley: Hag! We have them! Here! I feel like a child who has been given his Christmas nuts. / The Orphan: Please let me 'ave a look, Mr. Crowley sir. / The Orphan: If I don't get used lookin at ladies in the raw now... 'appen I might 'ave an 'eart attack and die the first time one presents 'erself to me.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041015
Scary Go Round 20041015 Shelley Winters: Look at us Amy, working at the Naughty Hellfire Club is going to end badly. I can tell. / Amy Chilton: Nonsense. We'll make the money we need to buy the time teapot back in a day or so and we'll be off. With -ow!- cheeky tales to tell and a new, worldly air. / Blackthorne Templeton: I'll take your eyeglasses. Gentlemen are here to be entertained, not reminded of their schoolmistresses. / [[Bob Crowley's eyes are visible peering out through eyeholes in the painting.]] / Blackthorne Templeton: The suspicious one is half blind and the other suspects nothing. Do what you will with them. / Bob Crowley: Hag! We have them! Here! I feel like a child who has been given his Christmas nuts. / The Orphan: Please let me 'ave a look, Mr Crowley sir. / The Orphan: If I don't get used lookin at ladies in the raw now... 'appen I might 'ave an 'eart attack and die the first time one presents 'erself to me.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041015
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: I wandered lonely as an oak/that marches free on roots and loam/and eats a sheep with teeth of bark/and presents shep-herds with their doom. / Lord Pitt: An apocalypse of half rhyme! Bravo! / Shelley Winters: Oh, I see how this is going to be. You wow the gentlemen with your scary tree poetry, while I slave. / Amy Chilton: It's not my fault you've got no grounding in the lively arts, Shel. Oh that's very mature. / Shelley Winters: Gentlemen! Hark at this tune what I have composed! It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style... but they're guaranteed to raise a smile... / Amy Chilton: She didn't write it. She... heard the coalman whistling it.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041018
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters [[singing]]: ...they had to count them all. Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. I'd love to turn you...on. / Out-of-Panel Voices: Bravo! There goes a lady. Hot jiggedy! / Amy Chilton: Wow Shelley I was wrong, you truly are the greatest songwriter of our age. / Elton Dimbleby: Miss, I'm Elton Dimbleby, showbusiness impresario. Do you have a theatrical agent? / Shelley Winters: Well, no, um, I... / Elton Dimbleby: I offer the most upstanding representation and a complimentary bottle of salve. / Shelley Winters: Salve! / Amy Chilton: Where are you going? / Shelley Winters: Ames, in 2004, I'm too shrill to be a star. But in 1840, people liked their entertainment squeaky! / Amy Chilton: I wish I'd had some warning. So I could, you know, let my earwax build up.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041019
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Orphan: Miss Blackthorne, why do you look so sad? And why is Mr. Crowley marchin' out like a man who's made soil in his britches? 'Appen is that why 'e looks so angry? / Blackthorne Templeton: Hold your lip, you dirty little boy. / Blackthorne Templeton: Crowley is furious that I let the red haired girl slip away. He'll beat me black and blue if I don't get her back, soon. / The Orphan: If that brute lays 'an 'and on you miss, I'll cut 'is throat as 'e sleeps. You see If I don't! / Blackthorne Templeton: What a sweet boy you are, The Orphan. / The Orphan: As he lays dyin' of course, I'll be stealin' all his money. It won't be like he's usin' it, I mean. 'Cept maybe for bleedin' on and gurglin' at.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041020
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[A sepiatone poster on the wall reads: PRINCESS'S THEATRE, Promoter and agent of note, Mr. Elton Dimbleby esq. Beneath that, it says: First appearance playing her "northern songs" MISS SHELLEY WINTERS For the Benefit of Mr. Kite! Underneath that is a picture of Shelley posed at a piano. Below that, it reads: A young lady of immodest Talent and Charm, Her gay way is sure to delight and amaze you. This Evening WEDNESDAY, October 20th, 1840]] / Amy Chilton: You're an outrageous fraud Shelley, singing Beatles songs and claiming you wrote them. Some of us have integrity, we're struggling to the top. / Shelley Winters: Well, that's funny, as I thought "struggling to the top" involved some kind of vertical career motion. / Shelley Winters: Anyway, my agent gave me enough money that I could buy back our things, so you can stop... / Amy Chilton: Stop working at the Naughty Hellfire Club? Is that for you to decide? / Shelley Winters: Amy, are you totally demented? / Amy Chilton: I can get discovered too! Keep your stinkin' teapot! The lady's not for turning! / Shelley Winters: Why. She. Had to go, I don't now, she wouldn't say... / Amy Chilton: Shut your face, you charlatan.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041021
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Tim Jones: So anyway, at this point Uncle Eric had the rhinocerous trapped in the upper branches of the tree... / Trouble-O-Tron: DANG DANG DANG / The Boy: Is that Trouble-O-Tron going off? / Tim Jones: It started last night, I was... working on a hard equation, so I didn't check it out. / Trouble-O-Tron: DANG DANG DANG DANG / [[Riley comes in, with no pants on.]] / Riley Beckwith: Tim, do you have a spare towel? Oh, hello. / The Boy: H-H-H-H-H- / Tim Jones: This is Riley, she... doesn't have her own towel. Riley, this is The Boy. / Riley Beckwith: Your name can't be "The Boy." / The Boy: Uh b-b-b-b b-b-b- / Tim Jones: I wouldn't push it. Not right now.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041022
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison {{This is the first of a short run of Natalie comics. This entire strip is in black and white.}} / [[Natalie leans on a tree in the rain, staring up at the sky.]] / [[Natalie waits by the tree, looking out into the rain.]] / [[Still waiting, her hand brushes against her forehead.]] / [[A car pulls up.]] / [[A man puts his arm around her.]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041025
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison {{This strip is in black and white.}} / Natalie Durand: Number 27! Number 27! If you think zat I have all day, you labour under a misapprehension! / Mr. Briggs: I think I might be number 27, dear. / Natalie Durand: Think? Did you eat your ticket? / Mr. Briggs: I know I have it here somewhere... ehhh... um... / Natalie Durand: Mister Briggs, I know you 'ave a cucumber sandwich every day, but zere are rules. / Natalie Durand: What if I 'ave your sammich in 'and, and some rascal in a baseball cap lays claim without 'is ticket? / Mr. Briggs: Was it in me top pocket... No...
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041026
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison {{This strip is in black and white.}} / Mr. Briggs: Now listen here, I helped liberate your country... / Natalie Durand: Yawn... yes yes from ze "jackboot of German oppression." And 'ow would you 'ave done zat if you 'ad lost your rifle? / Mr. Briggs: I'm 83! Give me my sandwich! / Natalie Durand: I will give your sandwich, Mr. Briggs. But only because my boss looks at me in ze manner zat suggests he wishes me a thousand little deaths. / Natalie's Robot Boss: Natalie, what have I told you about teasing the customers? / Natalie Durand: I recall vaguely something in that area, perhaps. / Natalie Durand: But it is ze 'ighlight of 'is day! No doubt I remind him of some continental conquest. Woo'd with nylons and ze 'ershey bar.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041027
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Elaine: You shouldn't talk to him like that. He's not a very nice man. / Natalie Durand: It is good zat I wore my stoutest boots today, Elaine. / Natalie Durand: Because zey are all zat will withstand ze shaking I am doing right now. / Natalie Durand: Maybe one day I get old rust-bucket mad and he tells me to hang up my little apron. / Natalie Durand: It will be a blow to my career aspirations in serving slices of pie, yes. But I will somehow fight on. / Elaine: I was just saying, Natalie. No need to be shitty. / Natalie Durand: I am taking my shittiness outside for my break. When I return, less of ze shitty. More of ze perky.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041028
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Natalie is smoking outside the cafe. Hamilton Percy drives by with stiches on his head]] / Natalie: Hello cat, let me ask you a question. / Cat: Meow / Natalie: Will we ever again know ze innocence of ze postwar years? / Natalie: Or is ze human race doomed to cynicism forever? / Cat: Meow / Natalie: Yes. / Natalie: That is what I thought. / [[ Fin. is written at the bottom of the last panel ]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041029
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Tim, Riley, and The Boy are in Tim's living room]] / Tim: ... / Riley: What's the matter with Tim? / The Boy: He went in the cellar and found one of his inventions had been stolen. / First he was angry, then sad, then angry. Now he's sitting very still. / Riley: Are you OK? / Tim: Have to stay until the urge to rip off my clothes and run down the street howling subsides. / Riley: What did they steal? / Tim: My time machine. I imagine existence is crumbling as we speak. / The Boy: We're still here, aren't we? Riley and I will help you get it back. / Won't we? / Riley: But it's Saturday. I do {italic} laundry {end italic} on saturday. / Tim: Stains fade, sweetheart. Time is forever.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041101
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The Boy and Riley are in Tim's House]] / Riley: He's "lost his time machine"? Listen, The Boy, let's get out of here. I misjudged Tim. He's a total mentalist. / The Boy: No, that thing's real. It works on the principle of the watched pot that never boils. / Riley: What? / The Boy: It's a teapot with an element in the bottom and an electronic eye in the lid. The water heats up but can never boil, time gets confused and aligns to the nearest clock. So you adjust a little clock on the side and you... Why are you looking at me like that? / Riley: The poor man needs help. / The Boy: So we'll help him! / Riley: No, I mean help in the form of four men in white in a van, with a court order. / The Boy: Some kind of... vigilante Ku Klux Klan? / Riley: Everything you say makes my head hurt.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041102
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Riley Beckwith: If you made a time machine, can't you make another and go back to when it was stolen? Maybe punch the thief in the jaw in a manly, admirable way? / Tim Jones: I suppose so. It just doesn't seem a very elegant solution / Riley Beckwith: Wait, you have a whole cupboard full of time machines? / Tim Jones: Oh, you know. You start with one, after a year or two you've got a dozen. / Riley Beckwith: So the fate of all existence is kept in a chipboard cupboard? / Tim Jones: Well, come on. It has a lock. / Riley Beckwith: Here's a stick. / Tim Jones: Wish me luck. If I'm not back immediately, look out for tell-tale puddles of blood. Or a low pitiful moaning.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041103
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: I left something important down here and Tim is entertaining a lady friend tonight. We wouldn't want to interrupt. / Tim Jones: So you were the one who stole my time-travel teapot. Or will be. Or now won't. / Amy Chilton: No! NO I willn't... won'tn't... um. Please don't fire me, Tim, science is my life now! I... love that test tube deal! / Tim Jones: Amy, you're fired like a 1920's tenement building gets fired when the owner needs the insurance money. / Shelley Winters: No Tim! T'was a minor boo-boo! / Tim Jones: Shelley, what are you doing up there? i'd expect this sort of thing from her, but not you. / Shelley Winters: I'm jus' lookin' for shnails! They're gonna have a race!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041104
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Don't be sad Amy! / Amy Chilton: That's easy to say from a position of not being sad. / Shelley Winters: Yes, you lost your job, you lost a friend, and you didn't get to have an adventure. But you still have... a couple of tins of baked beans! / Amy Chilton: That's it! Suicide! I'm going to eat the bacteria goo off the cooker. / Shelley Winters: Don't die! Who will be an old spinster with me if you die? / Amy Chilton: Stop trying to stop me Shelley! Time's up for this lady! / Amy Chilton: You're right. I have to live. You need me and an ugly world needs me. It's time to turn over a new leaf. / <> / [[Amy wipes bacteria goo from the cooker on Shelley's face.]] / Shelley Winters: I've changed my mind.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041105
Scary Go Round [[Shelley hugs Fallon.]] / Shelley: Fallon! I'm so glad you're back! / Somehow Amy has transformed herself into the belle of the art school. / [[Fallon opens her bag.]] / My house has been invaded by a succession of hollow cheeked man-boys. / Usually wearing my best towels as a sarong. / [[Fallon puts her clothes in the closet.]] / Fallon: Have you spoken to her about this? / Shelley: She's too flushed and rumpled to care. / The squeakin', hootin' and hollerin' go on long into the night. / Even the skellingtons can't sleep. / [[Fallon sits on the bed and speaks to Shelley.]] / Fallon: It's your own fault, Shelley. I warned you. / That thin film of filth was all that was protecting society from Amy. / Shelley: I thought washing would enrich her dirty life! / Not open up a Pandora's box of vexing sexing.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041108
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley and Fallon are sitting at a table]] / Shelley: Fallon, You've not touched your muffin. / Fallon: I'm reading the story of Aron Ralston, the man who got stuck in a crevice and cut off his arm. With a penknife. / [[Shelley is standing up behind Fallon who is sitting at a table. Shelley is holding a book titled "OUCH."]] / Fallon: I think people are maybe afraid to say that going down a big hole five miles from anything is unfathomably stupid. And not telling anyone. While wearing only your P.E. kit. / Shelley: But people say he's brave! He has his own book! / Fallon: Shel, if we employ that logic, I could get a publishing deal. I just take up the new extreme sport of dog-ear chewing. / Shelley: Mr. Ralston is clearly prepared for anything! He has "L" and "R" written on his hands! [[much quieter]] um, hand and hook.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041109
2004-11-10 [[Shelley Winters and Fallon Young are in the park by the swings.]] / Fallon Young: Do you ever yearn for a poetical life? Casting out onto the high seas? Wrassling a seaserpent? / Shelley Winters: NO. / [[Fallon pushes Shelley on the swings while Shelley raves.]] / Shelley Winters: You're plainly unaware of the cunning of the Portuguese Man-O-War. More than anything he craves to be top dog on planet Earth. A mile below in the briny deep, he makes his plans. Plans even a tough ol' bird like you can't thwart. / Fallon Young: You won't go out to sea because... because... because some gelatinous spazz has it in for the human race? / Shelley Winters: He's heard about our two-car garages and our loft conversions, and he seethes. Oh how he seethes.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041110
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelly and Fallon are standing at the sea, the beach and the city in the background. Fallon is looking at her ringing cell phone; she appears to have something hanging over her shoulder.]] / <> / Shelly: Fallon, staring at the sea isn't going to cure me of Manowar fear. He's out there, he's drawing up plans for Britain's downfall. He'll probably sting Scotland so hard that it snaps off! / [[Fallon has turned her back to the sea to talk on her phone; the something hanging over her shoulder is revealed to be a pair of jet-fuelled rollerblades.]] / Fallon: Have to take this, Shel', sorry. Hello Tristian! No of course I returned the jet-fuelled rollerblades. Yes, I know they're valuable government property. Duh. / [[Shelly turns away from the sea in fear, yellow lightning bolts of terror crowning her head - the Man-o-war has surfaced and is floating at the shore.]] / Shelly: Meep! / Portuguese Man-o-war: 'Ey, Shelly, I got a bit of news for you. I got Prince Charles' address out of the phone book, eh? Gonna sting 'is ears so they swell up huge an'a strong wind carried him away. Faaar away.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041111
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[A Portuguese Man-o-war floats near the shore]] / Man-o-war: I found a book, eh, "learn 'ow to drive". Gonna get me a Fiat Cinque-Cento Knock postmen off their bikes for fun / [[Shelley yells at the Man-o-war from the beach]] / Shelley: I know your tricks, Portuguese Manowar! I'll inform the authorities. / [[The Man-o-war shows Shelley a drawing]] / Man-o-war: They ain't gonna believe you, I ain't afraid! If I was. Would I show you my plan to dig a hole under Brighton and sink it into the sea? / Shelley: Will you live in their houses? / Man-o-war: Why'm I gonna do that, eh? I'm just gonna laugh while they drown. / [[Shelley turns her head in disgust while the Man-o-war grins]] / Shelley: You're reprehensible! Justice has a new name, and it's Shelley Endeavour Winters. Tought, hard girl justice! Dispensed, if necessary, from my own custom-painted vehicle.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041112
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelly and Fallon are in an apartment with Fallon laying down on a couch and Shelly spread out on the floor; Shelly is holding a marker.]] / Fallon: What are you working on, Shelly? Is it Man-o-war related? / Shelly: I can't let him complete his schemes, so I'm working on counter measures. I'm designing a car that combines the best features of the 1980s action vehicles. / [[Fallon is now on the floor with Shelly, looking at a drawing on paper surrounded by some Post-Its, a crumbled piece of paper, and a laptop.]] / Fallon: Black paint and a pathological hatred of Communists? / Shelly: Yes, and some gadgets, and a computer, and sassy talking! / Fallon: Are you sure the Portuguese Manowar isn't a hallucination brought on by mild hunger? / [[Shelly retrieves a video cassette from her bag.]] / Shelly: I thought that maybe he was. But then I watched a documentary about cod on Discovery Channel / [[An image from the documentary; two cod are swimming underwater and there is algae nearby. The Portuguese Man-o-war is floating happily in the background, holding a sign that reads: "the end is nigh (because of me)". The Discovery Channel logo is in the bottom lefthand corner.]] / Documentary narrator: ...Cod are the only fish to successfully list a company on the stock exchange.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20041115
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 >>