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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[People in the street are holding signs: "Things are going to change" "Change is coming" and "Thank The Child"]] / Erin: Hey, watch it, blind boy! / The Boy: Sorry, I was looking at the people on the town hall steps.
/ Erin: Idiots. "Change is coming". Things are always changing. / Erin: Most people are so desperate to make things better that they'll buy into anything. / The Boy: Well, what do you think The Child is?
/ Erin: The infant victim of a vicious and juvenile full-head waxing. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050207 |
| February 7, 2005 | [[The Boy is walking past a group of protestors holding signs like "Things are going to change, "Change is coming," and "Thank the Child"]] / [[The boy bumps into Erin]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050207 |
| February 8, 2005 | [[The Boy is holding a poster of The Child]]
/ Tim: Ah, The Boy! How are things in the world of youth?
/ The Boy: Tim, what's this Child all about? People seem to be getting excited. / [[Riley is reading a book and stting next to a box of nails.]]
/ Riley: I don't think it's healthy for people to get too excited. / Tim: Well, I always say, when you see a thundercloud you have two choices. / Tim: Either climb a tall ladder and start swatting at it with a tennis racket, or accept that things are going to get noisy. / The Boy: Are you two leaving town?
/ Tim: Her idea. Just until any potential mass howling and bleeding stops.
/ Riley: Yes, blame me. I'm just not a "hiding in a bunker clutching a shotgun" kind of girl. Sooner or later that little freak is going to start biting. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050208 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Boy is holding a poster of The Child. Tim has the hatchback of his car open.]]
/ Tim: Ah, the boy! How are things in the world of youth?
/ The Boy: Tim, what's this child all about? People seem to be getting excited. / [[Riley is sitting next to the garage, reading a book]]
/ Riley: I don't think it's healthy for people to get too excited. / [[Tim looks at the poster.]]
/ Tim: Well, I always say, when you see a thundercloud you have two choices. / [[Riley looks at the poster of Tim's shoulder]]
/ Tim: Either climb a tall ladder and start swatting at it with a tennis racket, or accept that things are going to get noisy. / [[Riley hugs Tim possessively from behind, and the car is in the background]]
/ The Boy: Are you two leaving town?
/ Tim: Her idea. Just until any potential mass howling and bleeding stops.
/ Riley: Yes, blame me. I'm just not a "Hiding in a bunker clutching a shotgun" kinda girl.
/ Riley: Sooner or later this freak is going to start biting. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050208 |
| February 9, 2005 | Fallon: Do you have any Chapstick?
/ Ryan: I gots like 100 of them, but they hide. Have a look in that drawer. / [[Fallon holds up a pair of underpants]]
/ Fallon: RYAN! How old are these underpants?
/ Ryan: Well, I guess they were minted maybe 10 years ago. / Fallon: Why do you still have them?
/ Ryan: Pants are special, they soak up all the magic of experience. When the label has faded completely, you know the magic has taken and they've become lucky. / Fallon: I can see right through them. There's no substance to them at all!
/ Ryan: For an excitin' period in 1999, you could see Jesus' face in the weft. Or maybe it was Burt Reynolds, but either way you felt pretty dapper. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050209 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Stuart: What I think is that the child is ushering in a new age of wonder. And this will result in faster internets.
/ Teacher: Excellent points, Stuart. Now here's Erin Winters with the case against the child. / Erin Winters: The Child! A harmless, frail infant. But ask yourself this: If a kitten arrived in town and told you throw old people in the river, would you do it. Beware false prophets that come in sheep's clothing! / Milford: Wow! I think I just found a new subject to audition for Milford's love orchestra. / The Boy (inner monologue): Milford's inevitable pun around "horn" and "fiddle" awakened the beast within. It was time to stand up and be a man. At such a point as standing up became appropriate. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050210 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelly: [[Looking through cupboards]] If you want me to make you a cup of tea, you're going to have to tell me where the mugs are.
/ Ryan: [[Leaning on the counter]] Cups that are entering the bacterial death phase are stuffed down the sides of the sofa cushions.
/ Ryan: It's kind of a system. / Shelly: [[Frowning, while digging in the sofa]] Why do you live like this?
/ Ryan: [[Also digging through cushions]] I'm fightin' crimes and the fear of crimes. / Ryan: [[With a mug in hand]] If I surprise a burglar, I'll make him a drink.
/ Shelly: [[Holding two mugs, one with a tendril coming out of it]] Because crimes are stressful, and stress leads to dehydration? / [[Shelly is at the sink]]
/ Ryan: [[Grinning]] The mysterious mug contents will weaken him for police capture.
/ Ryan: Or maybe have a mild rehabilitatin' effect. / Shelly: [[Having a staring contest with a very large microbe peeking out of a mug]] This is meant to be a morning of civilized jobseeking, not a biohazard show-and-tell.
/ Ryan: [[Loading a tranquilizer pistol]] Instead of mugs, use jugs. It's only one letter different. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050211 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: If you want me to make you a cup of tea, you're going to have to tell me where the mugs are.
/ Ryan: Cups that are entering the bacterial death phase are stuffed down the side of the sofa cushions. It's kind of a system. / Shelley: Why do you live like this?
/ Ryan: I'm fightin' crimes and the fear of crimes. / Ryan: If I surprise a burglar, I'll make him a drink.
/ Shelley: Because crimes are stressful and stress leads to dehydration? / Ryan: The mysterious mug contents will weaken him for police capture. Or maybe have a mild rehabilitatin' effect. / Shelley: This is meant to be a morning of civilised jobseeking, not a biohazard show-and-tell.
/ Ryan: Instead of mugs, use jugs. It's only one letter different. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050211 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: I can't believe she's over there talking to Milford.
/ The Boy: He's and intellectual insect. / Milford: What's with that look, The Boy?
/ Milford: Are you trying to wear a hole in my face...
/ Milford: With jealousy?
/ Milford: If you can get your eyes to focus, she asked me to give you a note. / Milford: You needn't have worried.
/ Milford: "Scrawny, serious, bookish" aren't in my job description for a lady.
/ Milford: I'm looking for someone uninhibited whose parents are out a lot.
/ The Boy: You'll find her. If she bumps her head and forgets to hide.a http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050214 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Outdoor scene. ERIN and MILFORD are talking as THE BOY broods jealously]] / THE BOY[narrating]: I can't believe she's over there talking to Milford.
/ He's an intellectual insect. / [[MILFORD approaches THE BOY]] / MILFORD: What's with that look, The Boy?
/ Are you trying to wear a hole in my face... with jealousy?
/ If you can get your eyes to focus, she asked me to give you a note.
/ You needn't have worried.
/ "Scrawny, serious, bookish" aren't in my job description for a lady.
/ I'm looking for someone uninhibited whose parents are out a lot. / THE BOY: You'll find her.
/ If she bumps her head and forgets to hide. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050214 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Rioting over The Child. Of note: a man in a red shirt with a large white "C" on it shouting and carrying a sign ("... WILL CHANGE"), a man with a scruffy facial hair hits another man in the face with another sign ("...ATUS QUO FOREVER") < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050215 |
| February 16, 2005 | The Mayor: Hello, is this Shelley? This is the Mayor. / [[Shelley is on the street, talking on her cell phone]]
/ Shelley: Hello, Mr Mayor. I didn't think we had anything left to talk about after you sacked me. It was extremely hurtful. / The Mayor: Shelley, you have to come back! People are rioting in the streets! The chief constable is shouting at me!-
/ Chief Constable: MAYOR! YOU'VE LOST CONTROL, YOU JACKASS!
/ The Mayor: Things are confusing! / Shelley: All right Mr Mayor, I'll think about it. But I was fielding some very high profile offers. [[The building that Shelley was about to enter says "Pole 2 Pole" and "DANCERS WANTED, apply within"]]
/ Shelley: Bigger office, you say? My own stapler? How about a hole-punch? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050216 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Mayor: [[On the phone, worried]] Hello, is that Shelley? This is the mayor. / Shelley: [[On a cellphone outside, annoyed]] Hello Mr Mayor. I didn't think we had anything left to talk about after you sacked me.
/ Shelley: It was extremely hurtful. / The Mayor: [[Pulling out his hair]] Shelley, you have to come back!
/ The Mayor: People on the streets are rioting! The Chief Constable is shouting at me!
/ Chief Constable: MAYOR! YOU'VE LOST CONTROL YOU JACKASS!
/ The Mayor: Things are confusing! / Shelley: All right Mr Mayor, I'll think about it. But I was fielding some very high profile offers.
/ [[She is standing in front of a strip joint, with a big pink 'Pole 2 Pole' logo on the door, and a sign saying 'DANCERS WANTED/apply within'
/ Shelley: Bigger office? My own stapler? How about a hole-punch? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050216 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Erin and The Boy are talking, as Lindsey and Sarah spy on them.]]
/ Lindsey: Doesn't Esther like The Boy? Maybe we should nip Erin Winters in the bud.
/ Sarah: It's what friends should do. / [[In the girl's bathroom. Erin is washing her hands, and looks less than pleased to see Lindsey arrive.]]
/ Lindsey: Keep your hands off The Boy, Winters. He's taken. / Erin: I'm so scared. What are you going to do? Shiv me in the exercise yard? / [[Lindsey picks up a somewhat surprised Erin. Sarah stands holding a cubicle door open.]]
/ Lindsey: Someone needs her mouth washing out.
/ Sarah: Courtesy flush, Big Lindsey?
/ Lindsey: Sure. We're not animals. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050217 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The girl's bathroom. There's someone crying inside one of the cubicles.]]
/ Erin: Snurfle sniff sniff sniff.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050218 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Bentley Quorn: The current mayor has lost control of civic order! I, Bentley Quorn, offer a safe alternative! A streetlight for every man, woman and child! / Bentley Quorn: Fewer pieces of wood with a nail sticking out of the end! A moratorium on easily thrown debris! / Shelley: Booooo! Yer policies stink and so does yer bum! / Mayor Mayor: When I was a boy I had a dog. His name was "Spacky".
/ Shelley: Mr Mayor! You can't solve a crisis in a string vest!
/ Mayor Mayor: Such a gay little fellow. "Wuf wuf", he'd go. "Wuf wuf". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050221 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Mayor Mayor is gritting his teeth as Shelley Winters attempts to get him to put on his pink shirt.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Mr Mayor, put your shirt back on, because Shelley Winters has got a scheme. / [[Shelley stands in front of a projected image of a protester. The bespectacled protestor is getting punched in the face, his dislodged tooth rocketing straight up. In the background of the images is another hand-written sign, in cursive: "Chang[...] is [...]o[...]"]]
/ Shelley Winters: People are fighting in the street because change is simultaneously exciting and scary.
/ Shelley Winters: So let's broaden community awareness with the *Tackleford Change Festival!* / [[The mayor has removed his pink shirt. Shelley grips his arms.]]
/ Shelley Winters: There'll be a street market, a brass band, and a gala dinner for the child!
/ Mayor Mayor: Things are going to ... change.
/ Shelley Winters: Exactly!
/ Shelley Winters: We'll show them how to have a good time, not an apocalyptic time! / [[Shelley follows the mayor as he runs his hand through his already disheveled hair and graps his pipe.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Are you with me?
/ Mayor Mayor: What if people start fighting again? / [[Shelley looks pugnacious holding a box.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Tear gas means never having to say your sorry.
/ [[The box is labeled "ALL-NATURAL 'So Sorry' GATHERING PACIFIER"]] / {{Story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050222 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters stands in the street, grinning and looking up at a banner hanging across the street between two buildings. The banner reads: "TACKLEFORD CHANGE FESTIVAL March 1st / 'Things are generally going to be okay!'". A black limousine has pulled up besides Shelley.]]
/ Shelley Winters: It is a victory for common sense and empty sloganeering! / [[Shelley is grabbed in the upper arms by a man with light fuzz on his head and raccoon eye shadow. He is wearing a black jacket.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Hey, get off!
/ Secret Service Agent A: Don't say a word, Miss Winters / [[Shelley is in the back seat of the limousine.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Wh- Who are you? / [[The raccoon-eyed agent is joined by a very conventional looking agent. They are in the backwards-facing seat, opposite Shelley.]]
/ Secret Service Agent B: Shelley, we represent Her Majesty's Secret Service.
/ Secret Service Agent B: We require your assistance in a matter of national security. / [[Shelley sulks.]]
/ Shelley Winters: That *depends*.
/ Secret Service Agent B: On what?
/ Shelley Winters: On whether you can justify spending my taxes on laughing it up in a limousine. / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050223 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Secret Service Agent: Shelley, we want you to use your gala dinner to eliminate the child problem.
/ Shelley: Surely you have your own Secret Service murderers! / Secret Service Agent: This child is elusive, and we can't risk his followers rioting. Plus, we're not sure if he's evil or just unsettling on a genetic level. / Shelley: So rather than obliterate him in a hail of bullets and death, you just want to prod and probe him? That seems very wrong. He's just a tiny, shiny skulled homunculus. / Secret Service Agent: These are pictures of the last town the child visited, in Brazil.
/ Shelley: But that's just dust. Dust and skellingtons! / Secret Service Agent: The child got people there so crazy, a man SPLIT AN ATOM over his next door neighbour's head. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050224 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Secret Service Agent is talking with Shelley Winters. She has her back to him, with her arms folded on her chest. She is looking straight up.]]
/ Secret Service Agent: Shelley, we want to use your gala dinner to eliminate the Child problem.
/ Shelley Winters: Surely you have your own Secret Service murderers! / [[Shelley is looking straight forward, at a sign where the letters have been mangled.]]
/ Secret Service Agent: This Child is elusive, and we can't risk his followers rioting.
/ Secret Service Agent: Plus, we're not sure if he is evil or just unsettling on a genetic level. / [[Shelley turns around, so we can see that she is actually talking to both Secret Service Agents. The black limousine is in the background.]]
/ Shelley Winters: So rather than obliterate him in a hail of bullets and death, you just want to prod and probe him?
/ Shelley Winters: That seems very wrong.
/ Shelley Winters: He's just a tiny, shiny skulled homunculus. / [[The Secret Service Agent takes a photo out of a manila envelope and shows it to Shelley.]]
/ Secret Service Agent: These are pictures of the last town the child visited, in Brazil.
/ Shelley Winters: But that's just dust. Dust and skellingtons! / Secret Service Agent: The Child got people there so crazy, a man SPLIT AN ATOM over his next door neighbour's head. / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050224 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Erin Winters and The Boy are sitting at a lunch table at school.]]
/ Erin Winters: My sister gave me E200 to find The Child for her stupid dinner at the town hall.
/ Erin Winters: I'll split it if you help.
/ The Boy: I'll help. But where do we find him? We don't know where he lives. / Erin Winters: Well, it's February, and he's bald, and he wears a little sailor suit.
/ Erin Winters: Some things will be inherently attractive to him. I have a PLAN. / [[The Child, looking through tall grass, sees a rabbit dozing in a field, holding a huge carrot like a small child holds a plush animal.]]
/ <>
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050225 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Boy and Erin are looking down into a hole.]]
/ The Boy: He's in there all right. He doesn't look very happy.
/ Erin: Well, would you be happy if you were naked in a hole?
/ Erin: The only person who's happy to be naked down a hole is an earthworm.
/ Erin: And we only assume that he's happy. / [[Erin is pulling The Child out of the hole.]]
/ Erin: Come on, The Child, this is no life for a boy. / [[Erin has just put a hoodie on The Child.]]
/ Erin: There, he seems better already. / [[The Boy and Erin are walking away, holding The Child's hands. The air between them is filled with peach-coloured skulls on a red background.]]
/ The Boy: Look at that inscrutable smile. I wonder what he's thinking about.
/ Erin: I would think either Play-Doh, or a new era of death and chaos in the world of man.
/ Erin: Or fish fingers. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050228 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley is in a red phone booth, talking to MI6. The child waits outside the booth wearing a blue Eggbert hoodie. A panda in a party hat looks solemnly out a nearby window.]]
/ Shelley: Hello, MI6? I have the child here. Do you want me to use code-words? I can call him "The Little Zamboni."
/ MI6 Agent (on phone): Go ahead, Shelley.
/ Shelley: My codename is "La Pipistrelle." / Shelley: Here is the plan. Tonight at the Change Festival dinner I'll have him drink from a dirty mug I've been cultivating. / Shelley: When he gets ill, I'll take him "to the toilet" but in fact out back and deliver him to you boys. I'll say he had to go to the hospital because of "the massive indigestions." / [[MI6 Agent sitting at his desk, talking to Shelley on the speakerphone]]
/ MI6 Agent: Change of plan, Shelley. We need you to drive him up to the old Air Force base on the moors for a pick-up now. / [[MI6 Agent still sitting at desk, now perusing a book titled "Tactical Air Strikes: When Enough is Enough"]]
/ Shelley (on phone): But people will riot if he's not there! There will be DISASTERS.
/ MI6 Agent: Shelley, you must learn to trust the government. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050301 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters is in a phone booth making a call. The Child is outside the booth, wearing a blue hoodie. This is outside of a building made of gray brick. Inside the building is a panda. The panda has a party hat, but it does not look happy.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Hello, MI6? I have The Child here.
/ Shelley Winters: Do you want me to use code words? I can call him "The Little Zamboni."
/ MI6 Agent [on the phone]: Go ahead, Shelley.
/ Shelley Winters: My codename is "La Pipistrelle". / [[Shelley has a coffee mug in her hand. In the mug is a small monster with long pointy ears.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Here is the plan.
/ Shelley Winters: Tonight at the Change Festival Dinner I'll have him drink from a dirty mug that I've been cultivating. / Shelley Winters: When he gets ill, I'll take him "to the toilet" but in fact out back and deliver him to you boys.
/ Shelley Winters: I'll say that he had to go to the hospital because of "the massive indigestions". / [[In his office, the MI6 agent is talking to Shelley on a speaker phone.]]
/ MI6 Agent: Change of plan, Shelley, we need you to drive him up to the old Air Force base on the Moors for a pick-up now. / [[The agent is reading a book from the DK Essential Military series: "Tactical Air Strikes: When Enough is Enough" (auther unintelligible).]]
/ Shelley Winters (over the speaker phone): But people will riot if he's not there! There will be DISASTERS.
/ MI6 Agent: Shelley, you must learn to TRUST the government. / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050301 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters, wearing a pink jacket with a fuzzy fringe on the hood, is pushing The Child forward while talking on her cell phone to Mayor Mayor.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Mr Mayor, The Child isn't going to be coming to the dinner. He... had to go to the dentist.
/ Mayor Mayor (over the cell phone): What? No! No!! / [[Shelley has put The Child in the passenger seat of a red convertible. She is still talking on the cell phone.]]
/ Mayor Mayor (over the cell phone): Surely visiting the dentist doesn't take that long!
/ Shelley Winters: He's... got an INGROWN MOLAR. It's prodding his brain. Very complicated. / [[Mayor Mayor is sitting at his desk talking on the phone. He has fixed his hair and is now wearing the pink shirt and a tie. A small boy, Fauntleroy Mayor, with wild hair and wearing overalls, is trying to get his father's attention to show him a homemade card.]]
/ Mayor Mayor: Shelley, people on the streets are ready to explode!
/ Mayor Mayor: No window will remain unbroken! This is the end of my political career!
/ Mayor Mayor: WE NEED THE CHILD THERE!
/ Fauntleroy Mayor: Daddy I made a card for you. / [[We see Fauntleroy Mayor through his father's framed fingers.]]
/ Mayor Mayor: Fauntleroy, hold that pose.
/ Mayor Mayor: We'll talk about this later, Shelley. / [[In a bathroom, Fauntleroy is about to get shaved. Mayor Mayor holds the trimmer in his hand.]]
/ Fauntleroy Mayor: Daddy what is that?
/ Mayor Mayor: Son, I want you to know that this is going to hurt me more than it'll hurt you.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050302 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters and The Child are in the red convertible. Shelley has turned and is driving past an empty checkpoint. In the background is mesh fencing.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Now don't worry, I'm sure where you're going things will be very nice.
/ Shelley Winters: At the very least it'll be extremely STERILE.
/ The Child: Things are going to change! / [[Shelley gets on the cell phone.]]
/ Shelley Winters: I'm at the old airbase now! Where do you want me to drop the child off? / [[The MI6 agent is in his office talking into a cordless receiver.]]
/ MI6 Agent: The... HELICOPTER has been delayed, just keep driving for a minute or two and he'll rendezvous.
/ Shelley Winters (over the phone): Did he bring a sammich? We're hungry! / [[We see the tip of the wing and the complete shadow of a fighter jet flying fairly low just behind Shelley's car.]] / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050303 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley driving, looking up at the sky]] / [[The child looking up, missiles can be seen in rearview mirror]] / [[Shelley's car, missile approaching]] / [[Car exploding, on fire]] / [[Car upside-down, on fire and smoking]] / [[Fallon and Amy in kitchen, Amy scooping ice cream]]
/ Fallon: You never hear about two ice cream vans crashing, do you? If I had my own ice cream can, the chimes would play "Don't Fear the Reaper." http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050304 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Fallon: You never hear about two ice cream vans crashing, do you? If I had my own ice cream van the chimes would play "don't fear the reaper". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050304 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Fallon: Tristian, what is so important that you'd divert me from delivering the world's largest marshmallow to the Dutch embassy in Hull?
/ Tristan: It's about your friend Shelley Winters. / Tristian: During the course of a national security operation she was blown up with a heat-seeking missile.
/ Fallon: WHAT? / Fallon: WHERE IS SHE?
/ Tristian: Her remains are proving difficult to collate... ow, that chafes! / Tristian: She died a heroic death --
/ Fallon: BLOWN INTO HER CONSTITUENT ATOMS? / Tristian: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
/ Fallon: Writing my resignation letter. Is "Dear Donkeyface" too formal? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050307 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Fallon Young and her supervisor, Tristian, are standing in amongst grassy knolls. In the foreground is crime scene tape. In the background, we see three people dressed in black. There faces are obscured, but they appear to be looking for something. Further back, we see the crime scene tape boundary, and the smoking ruins of a vehicle on the road.]]
/ Fallon Young: Tristian, what is so important that you'd divert me from delivering the world's largest marshmallow to the Dutch embassy in Hull?
/ Tristian: It's about your friend, Shelley Winters. / [[Tristian looks down.]]
/ Tristian: During the course of a national security operation she was blow up with a heat-seeking missile.
/ Fallon Young: WHAT? / [[Fallon buttonholes Tristian and shoves him up against a tree.]]
/ Fallon Young: WHERE IS SHE?
/ Tristian: Her remains are proving difficult to collate... Ow, that chafes! / [[Fallon maneuveres Tristian to the ground.]]
/ Tristian: She died a heroic death-
/ Fallon Young: BLOWN TO HER CONSTITUENT ATOMS? / [[Fallon rips open Tristian's shirt. He is dazed while she sits on him and writes on his chest with a purple crayon.]]
/ Tristian: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
/ Fallon Young: Writing my resignation letter. Is "Dear Donkeyface" too formal? / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050307 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley falls from sky screaming]] / [[Fallon walks dejectedly to giant marshmallow]] / [[Shelly lands on giant marshmallow]] / Shelley: I got hit by a rocket! I went up very high!
/ Fallon: Shelley, you're alive! My best friend is alive! / Shelley: The air was thin, but the atmosphere was welcoming. I looked into the basket of a hot air balloon. There were a man and a lady there, at it like sharp knives. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050308 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters is somewhere in the sky, falling.]] / [[Fallon Young walks to her car with her hand in her brow, and her glasses in her other hand. In a trailer behind her car is a giant pink marshmallow.]] / [[Behind Fallon, Shelley lands on the marshmallow.]] / [[Fallon pulls Shelley out from pink marshmallowey goo.]]
/ Shelley Winters: I got hit by a rocket! I went up very high!
/ Fallon Young: Shelley, you're ALIVE! My best friend is ALIVE! / [[Shelley sits in the passenger seat of the car with the door open. She smiles slyly, while Fallon, sitting on the car trunk with her glasses back on, looks slightly concerned. In the distance, a hot air balloon can be seen in the sky.]]
/ Shelley Winters: The air was thin, but the atmosphere was welcoming.
/ Shelley Winters: I looked into the basket of a hot air balloon.
/ Shelley Winters: There were a man and a lady in there, AT IT LIKE SHARP KNIVES. / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050308 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Child, still wearing the blue Eggbert hoodie, with the hood over his head, approaches his home. He waves. The sky is reddish-orange. The Lady is putting up a sign: "F[obscured]ale / Wokkit & Hemp".]]
/ The Lady: Ah, so there you are, little fellow. Our work here is done. / [[The Lady pulls down The Child's hood.]]
/ The Lady: Good boy, good boy. Come inside and have some soup. / [[The boy sits in a comfy blue chair, eating soup and a carrot off of a tray. He is watching an old television with a coat hanger antenna.]]
/ Television: Ugly scenes today at the Tackleford Change Festival, where dissent quickly escalated into widespread rioting.
/ Television: Oof
/ Television: Arg
/ Television: Wok / [[On screen, a middle-aged man is carrying an umbrella and a cheese wheel. Behind him are flames. An arm in a black sleeve is visible.]]
/ Television: Police report that looting has begun. This man was captured on camera stealing an umbrella and some cheese. / [[The man with the bowl cut and the missing tooth is seen naked except for a a diaper. He stands before a broken plate-glass window and a blue sports car. An arm in a black sleeve is visible.]]
/ Television: But the level of civil disorder is best represented by this grown man, naked but for a giant nappy.
/ Television: He was later apprehended, nude, on a scooter. / {{story: The Child}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050309 |
| Scary Go Round 20050309 | [[The Child's father is putting up a sign: "For Sale - Wokkit & Hemp." He sees The Child come and wave.]]
/ Father: Ah, so there you are, little fellow. Our work here is done. / Father: Good boy, good boy. Come inside and have some soup. / [[The Child has a tray of soup and a carrot. He is sitting in front of the TV.]]
/ TV: Ugly scenes today at the Tackleford Change Festival, where dissent quickly escalated into widespread rioting. - Oof - Arg - Wok / TV: Police report that looting has begun. This man was captured on camera stealing an umbrella and some cheese.
/ [[It's Ryan's father.]] / TV: But the level of civil disorder is best represented by this grown man, naked but for a giant nappy. He was later apprehended, nude, on a scooter.
/ {{diaper}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050309 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Fallon: Shel, do you know what the odds are of first being hit by a missile and catapulted upward?
/ And then of landing on the world's biggest marshmellow?
/ Shelley: The odds are low! low like a reality TV star's expectations out of life! / Shelley: But I had help. Ryan loaned me his ancient lucky pants. / Shelley: The whole time I was flying through the air, there was a massive uptake of good juju via my pelvis.
/ Fallon: They've almost completely crumbled away. You wore them out. / Fallon: Do you smell a business opportunity here?
/ Shelly: No. We can't sell old pants to risk lovers.
/ I don't want to be sued by the family of a man who decided to take a chance on headbutting a goods train. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050310 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley is cleaning the last bits of marshmallow out of her hair, Fallon is preparing to ditch the government car]]
/ Fallon: Shel, do you know what the odds are of first being hit by a missile and catapulted upward? And then of landing on the world's biggest marshmallow?
/ Shelley: The odds are low! Low like a reality TV star's expectations out of life! / [[Fallon is leaning inside the government car, probably setting it in neutral]]
/ Shelley: But I had help. Ryan loaned me his ancient lucky pants. / [[Fallon and Shelley watch as the car rolls away from them]]
/ Shelley: The whole time I was flying through the air, there was massive uptake of good juju via my pelvis.
/ Fallon: They've almost completely crumbled away. You wore them out. / [[Fallon and Shelley watch as the car tumbles over the cliff]]
/ Fallon: Do you smell a business opportunity here?
/ Shelley: No. We can't sell old pants to risk lovers. I don't want to be sued by the family of a man who decided to take a chance on headbutting a goods train. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050310 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Oh Dear oh dear.
/ Anarchy is the enemy of architecture.
/ Amy: I like what you're doing with the city, Shel!
/ All the ambience of blitz-era London with none of the inconvienient rationing. / Shelley: Amy did you come down here to cuss me out?
/ I'm not in the mood for your unbridled sass today. / Amy: No! I'm here with the olive branch of peace.
/ The branch is represented by greasy donuts. / Shelley: I guess the Mayor is never going to get re-elected now.
/ Sigh.
/ Amy: Maybe he can do something in the next two months that will make people forget riots and infant shaving.
/ He could build a monorail to the moon.
/ Singlehandedly.
/ While on fire. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050311 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: He said it w-wasn't me, it was h-h-him...
/ Shelley: Amy, you mustn't be too sad about your boy leaving you.
/ He was just a nude man who liked livin' rent free and doin' it. / Amy: I know, b'but my body is wracked by conflicting, spastic emotions.
/ Shelley: Well you just hav to wait for things to calm down and- / Amy: Love is dead! I'm becoming a nun! / Shelley: Stop Amy! Don't irresponsibly give yourself to Jesus!
/ You're too saucy for the nunnery!
/ Amy: Let me do my good works, Shel!
/ I know bible!
/ Let me show the lepers a good time! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050314 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: They wouldn't let me become a nun.
/ Shelley: What? But we did you up super-demure!
/ As demure as a lady whose body is 100% sin-weapon can be!
/ What happened? / Amy: The Mother Superior staed hard at me for twenty seconds, then handed me a pamphlet.
/ The Mother Superior: You may find this establishment more suitable / [[Pamphlet
/ St Timothy's
/ Little Sisters of Belial
/ If you can't be good, be careful
/ The Abbey, 48 Jollity lane, Coward Cross, Tackleford]] / Amy: Things are pretty black and white in the world of nunning.
/ Either help the unfortunate or prance around on a heath at midnight. / Amy: It's no picnic for the satanic nun. All gasmasks and bondage habits.
/ Shelley: Devil pregnancies!
/ Ill-attended church bring and buy sales! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050315 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Why am I such a failure at life?
/ I'm lower than a drug mule or a mime.
/ Shelley: I don't like hearing you talk this way, Ames. We should take a trip far away from your romantical misadventures. / Shelley: A holiday fixes up your brains.
/ It's like being swallowed by a wolf then punching his guts from the inside. / Shelley: Punch the wolf Amy! Pick a holiday destination! / Amy: Which of these do you prefer:
/ "Land of the midnight mortar attack"
/ or "Hostage's paradise"?.
/ Shelley: Abandon the "Difficult Tours" brochure. There's a fine line between economy and insanity. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050316 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: So where are we going?
/ Shelley: Bulgaria!
/ Amy: I don't know a thing about Bulgaria. / Shelley: Bulgaria is a country that escaped from the jackboot of communism that you love so well!
/ Amy: Rats. / Amy: I'm so tired my eyes won't focus. People on TV look like drunk ghosts.
/ Shelley: Paralytic phantasms!
/ Have you almost finsihed your project? Can I see? / Shelley: It's a box.
/ Amy: No, it's a bridesmaid's dress for insecure brides. / Amy: Two holes for arms, and a top hole to catch the bouquet.
/ Bridesmaids should arrange themselves into a grid formation when preparing to jump. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050317 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Spring is sprung/the grass is riz
/ I'm prodding Shelley in the ribs
/ Shelley: Your half rhyme doesn't qualify you for brutality, terrarist!
/ Airport yogurt costs L4, I have wounds enough. / Shelley: What kind of yogurt could it be for L4? Milked from the udder of the mighty sky cow?
/ Amy: Her name is Mbaatu. / Amy: She grazes on the upper planes of the troposphere
/ One of her pars formed Atlantis. Another decimated the Pygmy nation. / Shelley: I'm dancing on the travelator! You have to get "up" to get "down"!
/ Amy: People are staring, Shelley.
/ Their holidays have been ruined by a stick-woman who thinks bogling is clever. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050318 |
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