You're browsing the archives of Scary Go Round.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Scary Go Round 20050503 | Shelley: I can't believe you think I'm a lunatic.
/ Erin: I just think some of your actions lately have been... unusual. / Shelley: It's not easy in the adult world, Erin! Nobody really knows what they're doing! / Shelley: It's a conspiracy where we all wing it and no one lets on. I get so worried about failing that I do everything a hundred times too hard.
/ [[Erin hands Shelley one of the mugs she just washed.]]
/ Erin: You missed a bit. / Shelley: I'm not steady like you! My brain has a lot of spare electricity! / Shelley: If the Mayor doesn't win, I won't have a job, and I've been freakin' out. / [[They look up to see a large Mayor-shaped balloon emblazoned: "VOTE MAYOR - OR DIE - POSSIBLY".]]
/ Erin: We noticed. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050503 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Bentley Quorn, wearing a lavender shirt and gray tie, is outside. He is agitated, and standing next to a navy blue mass with a flexible pipe leading to it. Elaine Wu is behind him, and looks chagrined.]]
/ Bentley Quorn: INFLATE! INFLATE!
/ Elaine Wu: Mr Quorn, I don't see how this is necessary. We're ahead in the polls. / [[Bentley explains his rationale. Elaine seems unimpressed. Behind them we see a white mass.]]
/ Bentley Quorn: I can't let Mayor Mayor steal a march on me with his zeppelin.
/ Bentley Quorn: We must be proactively counter-reactive. / [[The reveal: Bentley Quorn is floating a smiling inflatable Bentley Quorn balloon. It is resting on its outstretched arms which must be no less than six meters long. A lone bird flies in the background.]]
/ Bentley Quorn: It's so... beautiful.
/ Elaine Wu: You really should have consulted with me about this. / [[The ropes start floating up past Elaine and Bentley. Elaine puts her hands to her face.]]
/ Elaine Wu: Shouldn't this balloon be tied down?
/ Bentley Quorn: Let it fly! / [[A top-down view from above the drifting balloon, we can see past the balloon's head (and combover) to observe Elaine and Bentley looking up. Bentley's got a massive grin.]]
/ Elaine Wu: You realise that this is a disaster, don't you?
/ Bentley Quorn: When I'm mayor, maybe people will worship it, like a big, gaseous god. / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050504 |
| Scary Go Round 20050504 | Bentley Quorn: INFLATE! INFLATE!
/ Elaine Wu: Mr Quorn, I don't see how this is necessary. We're ahead in all the polls. / Quorn: I can't let Mayor Mayor steal a march on me with his zeppelin. We must be proactively counter-reactive. / [[They are looking up at a Quorn-shaped balloon.]]
/ Quorn: It's so... beautiful.
/ Wu: You really should have consulted me about this. / Wu: Shouldn't this balloon be tied down?
/ Quorn: Let it fly! / [[They look up at it ascending.]]
/ Wu: You realize that this is a disaster, don't you?
/ Quorn: When I'm mayor, maybe people will worship it, like a big, gaseous god. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050504 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim Jones is straddling a roof looking through binoculars, wearing a navy blue t-shirt and brown pants. The Boy, uncomfortable and in his school tie, is holding something that looks like a cross between a windsock and an oscilloscope.]]
/ Tim Jones: What's its heading?
/ The Boy: 11 degrees North, Tim. *Can I get down now?* / [[Tim looks concerned. We can see the giant Bentley Quorn balloon floating in the background.]]
/ Tim Jones: That puts it on a collision course with Gimmer's Crag Animal Sanctuary!
/ Tim Jones: What can we do? Wounded badgers can't run fast enough to escape. / [[Tim Jones climbs into the house through a window. The Boy is already there, having joined Riley Beckwith. Riley is wearing a lavender turtle-neck.]]
/ The Boy: We can stick it to something with static! Or rope it... or divert it, or shoot it down.
/ Riley Beckwith: Surely this is a matter for the military?
/ Tim Jones: No time!
/ Tim Jones: Riley! Fetch me the unwieldy and dangerous looking apparatus from the cellar. / [[Outside, Tim is fastening a helmet to his head. Riley is holding a box that is the size of a 15 kg box of cat litter. Both pieces of equipment are rust-colored, with each bearing a prominent yellow circle.]]
/ Riley Beckwith: What is this thing? Can it fly?
/ Tim Jones: That's all man's dreams in one volatile and higly explosive package. / [[Tim takes off out of frame. Riley puts her hands to her mouth.]]
/ Riley Beckwith: There he goes, that man of mine.
/ Riley Beckwith: Waving his "Come and get me sign" at the Grim Reaper. / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050505 |
| Scary Go Round 20050505 | [[Tim and The Boy are on a rooftop. Tim is looking through binoculars and The Boy has some apparatus attached to a windsock.]]
/ Tim: What's its heading?
/ The Boy: 11 degrees north, Tim. Can I get down now? / [[They are tracking Quorn's balloon.]]
/ Tim: That puts it on a collision course with Gimmer's Crag Animal Sanctuary! What can we do? Wounded badgers can't run fast enough to escape. / The Boy: We can stick it to something with static! Or rope it... or divert it. Or shoot it down.
/ Riley: Surely this is a matter for the military?
/ Tim: No time! Riley! Fetch me the unwieldy and dangerous looking apparatus from the cellar. / [[It is an armful-sized red box with matching hat. Time fits the hat on as Riley holds the rest.]]
/ Riley: What is this thing? Can it fly?
/ Tim: That's all Man's dreams in one volatile and highly explosive package. / [[Tim ascends.]]
/ Riley: There he goes, that man of mine. Waving his "come and get me sign" at the Grim Reaper. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050505 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim Jones, wearing a flying apparatus, grabs hold of a guy rope dangling from the balloon effigy of Bentley Quorn and secures it to a church steeple.]] / [[Newspaper front page story]]
/ BUNNIES SAFE - BROWS NOW UNFURROWED
/ Tim Jones averts disaster
/ by P. Crimminy Kite
/ On the eve of the general election, local candidate Time Jones has prevented an animal sanctuary being destroyed by a balloon effigy of a rival politician.
/ Evil Party Mayoral candidate Bentley Quorn's unrestrained inflatable was released on the morning of May 4th and was borne by strong southerly winds towards the soft bodies of quivering beasts / [[Polling Station]]
/ Shelley: Mayor Mayor is my boss... Tim helps bunnies
/ Shelley: Think, Shelley, think! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050506 |
| Scary Go Round 20050506 | [[Flying, Tim ropes the runaway Quorn balloon and tethers it to a church steeple.]] / Newspaper: BUNNIES SAFE - BROWS NOW UNFURROWED - Tim Jones averts disaster - by P. Crimminy Kite - On the eve of the general election, local candidate Tim Jones has prevented an animal sanctuary being destroyed by a balloon effigy of a rival politician. Evil Party mayoral candidate Bentley Quorn's unrestrained inflatable was released on the morning of May 4th and was borne by strong southerly winds toward the soft bodies of quivering beasts... / [[Shelley at the polling station.]]
/ Shelley: Mayor Mayor is my boss... Tim helps bunnies - think, Shelley, think! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050506 |
| Scary Go Round 20050509 | [[The mayoral candidates are lined up as the votes are read.]]
/ Reader: Here are the results of the mayoral election for Tackleford City and Borough. Bentley Quorn, Evil Party, 511 votes. Wanda Prune, Progressive, 3,109. James Mayor, Literal Democrats, 45,341. Tim Jones, Scientific Democrats, 59,194. / [[Tim embraces Riley.]]
/ Tim: My legs seem to have become irretrievably bendy, like a couple of bad boomerangs.
/ Riley: Go on, go up and say something! / Tim: Everybody, I promise to run this city with a clear head and a steady hand. And to quote Howard Dean: / Tim: NYEEAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH
/ TV reporter: Victory howl or transformation into ravenous manbeast? Who cares? Back to you in the studio, David.
/ Caption: Election 2005 - SCI. DEMS WIN TACKLEFORD BOROUGH - Only minority parties represented in Y... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050509 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[An official is reading results as the four remaining mayoral candidates are standing in front of a blue curtain. Bentley Quorn is wearing a black suit with a light blue shirt and a navy tie. Wanda Prune is wearing a green dress, a yellow scarf, and a light green turban-like headdress. Mayor Mayor is in grey suit with a brown tie, and Tim Jones is in a brown suit and a blue tie.]]
/ Official: Here are the results of the mayoral election for Tackleford City and Borough.
/ Official: Bentley Quorn, Evil Party, 511 votes.
/ Official: Wanda Prune, Progressive, 3,109.
/ Official: James Mayor, Literal Democrats, 45,341.
/ Official: Tim Jones, Scientific Democrats, 59,194.
/ [[Bentley is angry, Wanda and James look dejected, and Tim raises his arms in ecstasy.]] / [[Riley Beckwith hugs Tim, but Mayor Mayor looks on dispassionately.]]
/ Tim Jones: My legs seem to have become irretrievably bendy. Like a couple of bad boomerangs.
/ Riley Beckwith: Go on, go up and say something. / [[Tim has taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He is reading off of cards.]]
/ Tim Jones: Everyone, I promise to run this city with a clear head and a steady hand.
/ Tim Jones: And to quote Howard Dean: / [[We switch to the broadcast of the event. Tim swings wildly and shouts, as promised. Shelley Winters, The Boy, and Riley Beckwith are watching from the audience. The reporter touches her ear and talks to the camera. The television chyron displays: "Election 2005 / SCI. DEMS WIN TACKLEFORD BOR.../Only minority parties represented in Y..."]]
/ Tim Jones: NYEEEAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH
/ Reporter: Victory howl or transformation into ravenous manbeast? *Who cares?* Back to you in the studio, David. / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050509 |
| Scary Go Round 20050510 | [[Mayor Mayor packs up his things.]]
/ Mayor: Oh stapler, all the papers you perforated. What merry times we had. And trusty, trusty hole-punch. / Shelley: I've come to say goodbye, Mr Mayor, and to wish you good luck.
/ Mayor: Shelley, I-- / [[He suddenly embraces her.]]
/ Shelley: Yes?
/ Mayor: I'm in love with you, you beautiful little creature! Come with my! Let's run away! Away to the forest! / [[She levers herself away with her foot.]]
/ Mayor: Making a life under the big sky, free to be what we want to be!
/ Shelley: I prefer roofs! It is a personal thing! / [[Shelley stamps off.]]
/ Mayor: We'll swim in ice cold streams and feast on nuts and berries!
/ Shelley: Mr Mayor, no! You have a wife and child! / [[She's in her car.]]
/ Mayor: But...
/ Shelley: And you're really weird! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050510 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[James Mayor is packing up his office. He is wearing a lime green shirt, and a black tie. He is holding a stapler and a small hole-punch at eye-level.]]
/ James Mayor: Oh Stapler, all the papers you perforated. What merry times we had.
/ James Mayor: And trusty, trusty hole-pinch. / [[Shelley Winters stands in the doorway. She is wearing a brown dress.]]
/ Shelley Winters: I've come to say goodbye, Mr Mayor, and to wish you good luck.
/ James Mayor: Shelley, I- / [[Mayor Mayor hugs Shelley inappropriately. Hearts surround his head, but yellow bolts of alarm shoot from Shelley's.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Yes?
/ James Mayor: I'm in love with you, you beautiful little creature!
/ James Mayor: Come with me! Let's run away! Away to the forest! / [[Shelley resists heroically, planting a foot on his chest and pushing away, but the mayor is holding her up. She looks angry.]]
/ James Mayor: Making a life under the Big Sky, free to be what we want to be!
/ Shelley Winters: I prefer roofs! It is a personal thing. / [[The mayor continues to plead his case, but Shelley walks from the room, offended.]]
/ James Mayor: We'll swim in ice cold streams and feast on nuts and berries!
/ Shelley Winters: Mr Mayor, no! You have a wife and child! / [[The mayor has followed Shelley to her car. She is getting ready to drive away. He looks dejected.]]
/ James Mayor: But...
/ Shelley Winters: And you're really weird! / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050510 |
| Scary Go Round 20050511 | [[Shelley is at Tim's door.]]
/ Tim: Hello, Shelley, how can I help?
/ Shelley: I was just wondering... if you have any jobs going in the mayor's office. I was involved in policies there, and I'm a great communicator! Talkin' to the press, writin' memos, just sayin' hello et cetera. / Tim: Shelley, I've known you a long time. You're a tiny megalomaniac.
/ Shelley: I know that sometimes there are problems, but... / Tim: You need to work somewhere where you don't have access to millions in public money.
/ Shelley: Yes, I know. / Shelley: It's for the best. I was drunk with power all the time, Tim. Stomping around with clattery boots and pointing at people when I knew it was rude to point. / Shelley: I need to get back to kinder ways. Is it easy to get a flea circus up and running?
/ [[In her imagination "Ms Winters' Grand Fleaorama"]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050511 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters has come to Tim Jones house.]]
/ Tim Jones: Hello Shelley, how can I help?
/ Shelley Winters: I was... just wondering... if you have any jobs going in the mayor's office.
/ Shelley Winters: I was involved in policies there, and I'm a great communicator!
/ Shelley Winters: Talkin' to the press, writin' memos, just sayin' hello et cetera. / [[Tim lets Shelley into the house, but he has to let her down.]]
/ Tim Jones: Shelley, I've known you a long time. You're a tiny megalomaniac.
/ Shelley Winters: I know that sometimes there are problems, but... / [[Tim sits down while Shelley paces, arms overhead.]]
/ Tim Jones: You need to work somewhere where you don't have access to millions in public money.
/ Shelley Winters: Yes, I know. / [[Shelley stands in front of a window.]]
/ Shelley Winters: It's for the best. I was drunk with power all the time, Tim.
/ Shelley Winters: Stomping around in clattery boots and pointing at people when I knew it was rude to point. / [[Shelley cheers up as she envisions a grand entrance with red and white tents in the background. On the entrance gate is a sign with ornate lettering: "MS WINTERS' GRAND FLEAORAMA".]]
/ Shelley Winters: I need to get back to kinder ways.
/ Shelley Winters: Is it easy to get a flea circus up and running? / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050511 |
| Scary Go Round 20050512 | Shelley: Jobs in the local paper are always horrible. Invitations to work in a call centre until you get ear rot.
/ Amy: Or to pipe icing at a cake factory, straight into the fat owner's mouth. / Shelley: "Would you like a career in sales?" Yes please! If you promise to shoot me immediately on taking the position. / Amy: Dumb-face, it says here the newspaper wants a reporter. I think you know how to do that. / Shelley: Ooh! Local reporter means judging jams! This could be a big win.
/ Amy: Eating jam out of the jar with a spoon is very decadent. / Shelley: Is it misuse of jam?
/ Amy: The pious thing to do would be to thrash yourself with birch twigs after a tasting. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050512 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley Winters and Amy Chilton are in a coffee shop. Shelley is reading a newspaper laid out flat in front of her.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Jobs in the local paper are always horrible.
/ Shelley Winters: Invitations to work in a call center until you get ear rot.
/ Amy Chilton: Or to pipe icing at a cake factory. Straight into the fat owner's mouth. / [[Shelley grins widely while Amy takes a sip of her coffee.]]
/ Shelley Winters: "Would you like a career in sales?"
/ Shelley Winters: Yes please! If you promise to shoot me immediately on taking the position. / Amy Chilton: Dumb-face, it says here the newspaper wants a reporter.
/ Amy Chilton: I think you know how to do that. / [[The two leave the coffee-shop.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Ooh! Local reporter means judging jams! This could be a *big win.*
/ Amy Chilton: Eating jam out of the jar with a spoon is very decadent. / Shelley Winters: Is it misuse of jam?
/ Amy Chilton: The pious thing to do would be to thrash youself with birch twigs after a tasting. / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050512 |
| Scary Go Round 20050513 | [[Riley is brushing her teeth at home, listening to Rolling Stones. Baking foil (aluminum foil) sheet in foreground. Lyrics heard: "sitting in the back of a car - music's so loud, you can't tell a thing]]
/ Riley: Hm hm hm hm hm hm hmmmmm
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050513 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Riley Beckwith is brushing her teeth preparing for bed. In the foreground, we see a box of baking foil and just behind that, a turntable playing a record.]]
/ Riley Beckwith: Hm hm hm hm hm hm hmmmm
/ Stereo: sitting in the back of a car / music's so loud you can't tell a thing
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050513 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Natalie: Natalie, what are you going to do with yourself? An eternity without activity is Hell. Minus of course ze flaying, ze magma, ze demonds.
/ [[Sign: Help Wanted - Go ahead individual - Good with agricultural machinery - Call Dave 0897432 573673994]] / Death: Yeah, reapers are back in business, miss Dur-and. We had 200 years of wishy washy fuzzy thinking by the powers that be. All that "Souls naturally drift upward" tunnel of light nonsense. And now look! You got a world full of malevolent spooks! / Death: Nine times out of ten, when Joe Schmoe is moving his bowels...
/ Natalie: ...a spectre's doing the crossword over his shoulder? / Death: Missy, you have a strong grasp of the issues facing the modern post-life co-ordinatifier. Welcome to the team.
/ Natalie: Oh dear. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050516 |
| Scary Go Round 20050516 | [[Natalie walking with fairy antennae. Sign: "Help Wanted - Go ahead individual - Good with agricultural machinery - Call Dave"]]
/ Natalie: Natalie, what are you going to do with yourself? An eternity without activity is hell. Minus of course ze flaying, ze magma, ze demonds. / Grim Reaper: Yeah, reapers are back in business, Miss Dur-and. We had 200 years of wishy washy fuzzy thinking by the powers that be. All that "souls naturally drift upward" tunnel of light nonsense. And now look! You got a world full of malevolent spooks! / GR: Nine times out of ten, when Joe Schmoe is moving his bowels...
/ Natalie: ...a spectre's doing the crossword over his shoulder? / GR: Missy, you have a strong grasp of the issues facing the modern post-life co-ordinatifier. Welcome to the team.
/ Natalie: Oh dear. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050516 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Death: Stop wigglin' Natalie.
/ Natalie: Big ups to ze women of islam but is zere strictly a need for zis shroud? / Death: You have to look the business. It wouldn't be a bleak harvest if you turned up in knickerbockers and a cowboy hat. / Death: How much credibility do you think the Tooth Fairy has? Too many damn pom poms! And the bells!
/ Natalie: I notice you bought her poster. / Death: Plus she prances around and sings that damn song...
/ Natalie: Give me ze scissors. I promise none of les poms-pom. / Death: Whaddya say? Two guys fall off some scaffold tryin' to impress a gal? Three o' clock? Sure I'll be there! I'll bring the new girl, show her the ropes. Give little black riding hood something to do besides shakin' her gams around tryin' to get my attention. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050517 |
| Scary Go Round 20050517 | [[The (a?) Grim Reaper is fitting Natalie in a traditional shroud.]]
/ Grim Reaper: Stop wigglin' Natalie.
/ Natalie: Big ups to ze women of Islam but is zere strictly a need for zis shroud? / GR: You have to look the business. It wouldn't be a bleak harvest if you turned up in knickerbockers and a cowboy hat. / [[Tooth Fairy poster. Text: "The Tooth Fairy Knows Bad Teeth* - *and isn't afraid to pull them out]]
/ GR: How much credibility do you think the Tooth Fairy has? Too many damn pom poms! And the bells!
/ Natalie: I notice you bought her poster. / GR: Plus she prances around and sings that damn song...
/ Natalie: Give me ze scissors. I promise none of les poms-pom. / [[Natalie is sitting in front of the GR's desk reading a paper, her shroud altered to show legs and some skin. GR is on the phone.]]
/ GR: Whaddaya say? Two guys fall off some scaffold tryin' to impress a gal? Three o'clock? Sure, I'll be there! I'll bring the new girl, show her the ropes. Give Little Black Riding Hood something to do besides shakin' her gams around tryin' to get my attention. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050517 |
| Scary Go Round 20050518 | [[Two men leaning off a scaffolding.]]
/ Man 1: Ay up love! What's your number? Come on, give us a smile!
/ Man 2: Sweetheart! All those curves, and me with no brakes! / Natalie: What a powerful display of machismo. They should do the thing where they make their pectorals dance!
/ Grim Reaper: Keep watching. / [[The woman they are yelling at is Amy, who is obliviously listening to music.]] / [[They fall.]] / Natalie: Ze pectoral dance never resulted in a disconnected head. Ze only danger was a freakishly overdeveloped man-breast. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050518 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Two men are in a construction scaffold, leaning over the railing. Perspective suggest they are at the third-story level.]]
/ Young Man1: Ay up love! What's your number?
/ Young Man1: Come on, give us a smile!
/ Young Man2: Sweetheart! All those curves, and me with no brakes! / [[We see the target of this harassment walking past Natalie Durand, in her reaper incarnation, along with her supervisor.]]
/ Natalie Durand: What a powerful display of machismo.
/ Natalie Durand: They should do the thing where they make their pectorals dance!
/ Reaper: Keep watching. / [[The harassee is Amy Chilton, oblivious as she is listening to music on headphones. Above her, we see the first young man start overbalancing, and the arm of the second attempt to grab the shoulder of his comrade.]] / [[Both men fall out of the scaffold, legs waving wildly. The presence of "music" suggests that Amy is not very far from them.]] / [[Natalie considers the corpse of one of the two men, his arm extended upwards. Blood is spattered on the wall.]]
/ Natalie Durand: Ze pectoral dance never resulted in a disconnected head.
/ Natalie Durand: Ze only danger was a freakishly overdeveloped man-breast. / {{story: The Election}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050518 |
| Scary Go Round 20050519 | Natalie: Come on gentlemen, it is time to step behind ze veil.
/ Man: K-keep away from us! Lemuel 'ere knows Tae Bo and he's not afraid to hit things!
/ Lemuel: These hands are deadly k-k-killing weapons! / Natalie: Ey! Do not run, you big babies! Zese shoes are new and I will blister! Zey are meant to go blissfully into the grave, not 'ave it away on their toes!
/ Grim Reaper: Watch and learn, Nat. / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050519 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Natalie Durand, the reaper, attempts to coax the spirits of the two recently deceased young men, rising over their bodies.]]
/ Natalie Reaper: Come on gentlemen, it is time to step behind ze veil.
/ Young Man2: K-keep away from us!
/ Young Man2: Lemuel 'ere knows tae bo and he's not afraid to hit things!
/ Lemuel: These hands are deadly k-k-killing weapons! / [[The spirits of the two men flee, to Natalie's chagrin. But her supervisor senses the opportunity for a teaching moment. The blade of his scythe glints.]]
/ Natalie Reaper: Ey! Do not run, you big *babies!* Zese shoes are new and I will *blister!*
/ Natalie Reaper: Zey are meant to go blissfully into the grave, not 'ave it away on their toes!
/ Reaper: Watch and learn, Nat. / [[Natalie can barely stand to look. In the reflection on the window, we see the reaper working his scythe.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050519 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Natalie: Wow, zis is quite something. You were reaching for a sandwich, but you picked up a cobra and bit it?
/ Recently Dead Snake Man: Yes. / Natalie: Could you not 'ear ze 'iss of Br'er Cobra?
/ Recently Dead Snake Man: He was asleep. They don't hiss when they're asleep. / Natalie: Do they 'iss when they're bitten in ze head by an idiot? Could you not feel ze scales? / Recently Dead Snake Man: I was wearing gloves.
/ Natalie: Could you not see a snake?
/ Recently Dead Snake Man: I was reading the paper. / Natalie: Why were you sitting amid snakes? Ze snake is ze well-known jerk.
/ Recently Dead Snake Man: They're not "jerks". They're my friends / Natalie: Friends do not bite friends. Zat is universal. La Cox never gnawed on L'Aniston, no matter how much I wished it. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050520 |
| Scary Go Round 20050520 | [[Natalie examining a man's corpse, speaking to his ghost.]]
/ Natalie: Wow, zis is quite something. You were reaching for a sandwhich, but you picked up a cobra and bit it?
/ Man: Yes. / Natalie: Could you not 'ear ze 'iss of Br'er Cobra?
/ Man: He was asleep. They don't hiss when they're asleep. / Natalie: Do they 'iss when they're bitten in ze head by an idiot? Could you not feel ze scales?
/ [[Sign: "Naja sumatrana (Equatorial Spitting Cobra"]] / Man: I was wearing gloves.
/ Natalie: Could you not see a snake?
/ Man: I was reading the paper. / Natalie: Why were you sitting amid snakes? Ze snake is ze well-known jerk.
/ Man: They're not "jerks". They're my friends / Natalie: Friends do not bite friends. Zat is universal. La Cox never gnawed on L'Aniston, no matter how much I wished it.
/ [[Baboons.]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050520 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: Tim, should you be defrosting your freezer with a piece of driftwood?
/ Tim: I don't know! I never did it before! It's an empty journey to triumph if you don't plant the seeds of catastrophe along the way. / Tim: This is fantastic. There are peas in here dating from the Clinton Administration. Frozen in time still thinking about Monica Lewinsky. / Riley: Do you think Bill Clinton still thinks about Monica Lewinsky? / Tim: The love lingers at the back of his mind, sweetheart. I'm sure sometimes he sighs and says her name without really thinking. / Riley: When, exactly?
/ Tim: Man, I don't know his ways. Maybe as he stares with unrequited passion through the window of a Burger King. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050523 |
| Scary Go Round 20050523 | Riley: Tim, should you be defrosting your freezer with a piece of driftwood?
/ Tim: I don't know! I never did it before! It's an empty journey to triumph if you don't plant the seeds of catastrophe along the way. / Tim: This is fantastic. There are peas in here dating from the Clinton administration. Frozen in time still thinking about Monica Lewinsky. / Riley: Do you think Bill Clinton still things about Monica Lewinsky? / Tim: The love lingers at the back of his mind, sweetheart. I'm sure sometimes he sighs and says her name without really thinking. / Riley: When, exactly?
/ Tim: Man, I don't know his ways. Maybe as he stares with unrequited passion through the window of a Burger King. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050523 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: Are you all right, man of the house? / Tim: I'm spent. The ice was so thick that all I could fit in the freezer was single Kraft cheese slices. According to my calculations, even if I stab distractedly at the ice with my driftwood every ten minutes, defrosting will take three days. / Tim: Entertain me Riley, with your girlish and fancy ways.
/ Riley: Um... Do you believe in aliens? / Tim: Philosophically speaking? Or in the more concrete, bovine interfering, cavity probing sense? / Riley: I believe I'm a multiple abductee.
/ Tim: Ding dang. Bombshell. / Riley: And that aliens should keep their probes to themselves.
/ Tim: Well, God knows where they've been. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050524 |
| Scary Go Round 20050524 | Riley: Are you all right, man of the house? / [[Tim is lying on the floor next to the open freezer.]]
/ Tim: I'm spent. The ice was so thick that all I could fit in the freezer was single Kraft cheese slices. According to my calculations, even if I stab distractedly at the ice with my driftwood every ten minutes, defrosting will take three days. / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050524 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: Tim, I was abducted by aliens! You don't believe me! You're trying not to laugh!
/ Tim: Well, most of the symptoms of alien abduction can be put down to drinking eight pints of heavy. Or rough scrumpy (regional). / Riley: But I never drink! My daddy's king of the tramps! Drink might weaken my resolve never to accede to the throne. / Tim: You're a sensible girl. Sensible thoughts.
/ Riley: Dad has been very insistent over the years. He used to sing me a song. / Riley: {sings} "Newspaper pants are the true way, old shoes never let you down". "Get up in the morning when the birds say, Smile through the dirt when your frown is brown" / Riley: {plays trumpet} < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050525 |
| Scary Go Round 20050525 | Riley: Time, I was abducted by aliens! You don't believe me! You're trying not to laugh!
/ Tim: Well, most of the symptoms of alien abduction can be put down to drinking eight pints of heavy. Or rough scrumpy (regional). / Riley: But I never drink the booze! My daddy's King of the Tramps! Drink might weaken my resolve never to accede to the throne. / Tim: You're a sensible girl. Sensible thoughts.
/ Riley: Dad has been very insistent over the years. He used to sing me a song: / Riley: "Newspaper pants are the true way, old shoes never let you down"
/ Riley: "Get up in the morning when the birds say, smile through the dirt when your frown is brown / [[Riley plays a trumpet.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050525 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: Well, Riley, we're parked in the middle of nowhere at night. I imagine that imminently you'll put the "moves" on me.
/ Riley: This is a UFO hotspot. Aliens favour Top Mareswich for fly-bys and extra terrestrial shennanigans. / Tim: So what was it like being kidnapped by aliens?
/ Riley: They wiggle wheir long grey fingers and gibber unintelligibly / Riley: It's like visiting an incompetent foreign doctor. You're naked, he's prodding you. There are certain tools out you hope he won't use. / Tim: Any slimy alien takes a tupping liberty with my lady, I'll chin him. / Tim: After I've finished with that probe-loving freak, even his own mother will consider him an unidentifiable flying object. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050526 |
| Scary Go Round 20050526 | Tim: Well, Riley, we're parked in the middle of nowhere at night. I imagine that imminently you'll put the "moves" on me.
/ Riley: This si a UFO hotspot. Aliens favour Top Mareswich for fly-bys and extra terrestrial shennanigans. / [[Riley has set up a telescope.]]
/ Tim: So what was it like being kidnapped by aliens?
/ Riley: They wiggle their long grey fingers and gibber unintelligibly. / Riley: It's like visiting an incompetent foreign doctor. You're naked, he's prodding you, there are certain tools out you hope he won't use. / Tim: Any slimy alien takes a tupping liberty with my lady, I'll chin him. / Tim: After I've finished with that probe-loving freak, even his own mother will consider him an unidentifiable flying object. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050526 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: Hee hee!
/ Riley: Shh! / Shelley: Pretty lights! So shiny! The visitors come! / Shelley: Hello! Greetings from the people of Earth! We welcome our brothers in the cosmic fraternity! I extend the olive branch of peace in the name of Tackleford Metropolitan Borough! / Shelly: Respect Earth's gravity, prease, it is there for a reason! Oh dear! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050527 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin' / Hugo: And you keep losin' when you oughta not bet. / The Child: You keep samin' when you oughta be a-changin'. / Amy: You know what's right and right, but you ain't been right yet. / Shelley: These boots are made for walkin'. And that's just what they'll do... / Natalie: One of zeez days zeez boots are going to walk all over you. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050530 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Natalie: Ziz eez terrible. I am too cute for zis type of back-breaking physical labor.
/ Reaper: It builds character. You'll get used to it. / Natalie: Ze steenk of corpses eez always in my nostrils. Meanwhile zat awful Audrey Tautou eez making millions using my schteek. / Reaper: Schteek?
/ Natalie: Oh, you know. Zat Yiddish word zey are always using to describe ze stand-up comedians. Shteek. / Reaper: You know what works for me? I go skiiing on the weekends.
/ Natalie: Sadly, I cannot do zis. I have ze crippling fear of snow rabbits. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050531 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: You can't tell anyone about this. / Erin: It's so cute!
/ The Boy: It's a doomsday machine. / Erin: He's sunshine, lolipops and rainbows!
/ Doomsday machine: < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050601 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley and Amy: < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050602 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy and Shelley are running from assorted monsters]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050602 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Remember your interview at Mabels...
/ Shelley: That dive! How could I forget / Shelley: I believe I was going through my Toyah phase... / Interviewer: What would you list as your positive attributes? / Shelley: Good in a team. Good individually. / Interviewer: OK. Excellent. Now what would you say are some of your negative qualities? / Shelley: Good in a team. Good individually. / Interviewer: ...Er...and how have your previous employers described you? / Shelley: Excellent communicator. / Amy: Ah. However did you become the verbal gymnast you are today? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050603 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Two ducks with top hats in a pond]]
/ Duck 1: "So I said to the prat, 'you're off your bleeding trolley if you think I'm—' Hell-o"
/ Duck 2: "What 'ave we 'ere?" / [[Amy walks by, listening to music]]
/ Duck 1: "I'd like to get my wings on that bit of skirt!"
/ Duck 2: "Oy! Belt up, arseface! This totty would never shag a bugger like you!" / Duck 1: "Codswallop! A fellow s'gotta enjoy a touch of class once in a bit, old chap!"
/ Duck 2: "Quite right, whot whot!" / Amy's ass: < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050604 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{Guest comic by Jason Sigala of Niego}} / [[Erin, The Boy, and Milford outside lockers. Erin speaks to The Boy.]]
/ Erin: Meet me in the courtyard after fourth bell. / [[After Erin leaves]]
/ The Boy: It's okay to be jealous, Milford. I can see that you are.
/ Milford: Go on, The Boy. / The Boy: Young love is beautiful. Not that you would know. Shall I describe to you what it's like to make kisses? / Mayor: Hello there, lads!
/ Milford: Act right, The Boy! It's the Mayor!
/ Mayor: Not anymore! Now that I'm not in office, I thought I might try my hand at teaching! / Milford: Oh? You brought your bulletproof vest then, I expect.
/ Mayor: M-m-my...my
/ Milford: All teachers wear them don't they, The Boy?
/ The Boy: ...Right! / Milford: Us kids are all carrying around a gun these days, like.
/ The Boy: Times is hard.
/ Mayor: Oh my. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050605 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley spies Amy from a distance, much to her surprise. Amy is drawing a woman sitting directly in front of her.]] / Shelley: Amy, this is not the supermarket. You said you were going to the supermarket. / Amy: Nevermind all that. I've decided to finally put my art education to good use!
/ Shelley: Where's my money, Amy? / Amy: Tush, tush. I'm doing caricatures. I'm a street artist! / Shelley: But you studied glassblowing.
/ Amy: It's all the same part of the BRAIN, Shelley! / Amy: I have the artist's EYE, I can look past the surface flim-flam and see people's inner- / [[Shelley looks over Amy's shoulder at her sketchpad.]]
/ Shelley: vase?
/ Amy: BEING. I would not expect a philistine like you to understand. / {{This guest comic was done by Vera Brosgol.}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050606 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{Guest comic by Vera Brosgol}} / Shelley: Okay, okay. So what is this lady's innermost being? / [[Amy stares at her subject]]
/ Amy: Hmm. Mainly spiders. Some puddings. / Shelley: I do not think she is going to like that very much, Ames! A lady likes to hear that she is like a waterfall or a cheetah. A spider is not her dream! / Amy: Well, I am not just making this stuff up! I'm casting a mirror onto what is already there! / [[Shelley peruses the subject]] / Shelley: I guess her chin hairs have something of the friendly spider about them... / Shelley: What kind of animal would my innermost being be, Amy?
/ Amy: A pile of dead ants in a puddle of blood if you don't get out of my light. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050607 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050608">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050608 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Scary Go Round 20050609 | [[Tim in his mayor's office.]]
/ Tim: Why do I make any mayorly decision I make will leave me historically infamous and reviled? Maybe my skin just isn't think enough for politics.
/ Riley: Are you sure it isn't just because of this thing?
/ [[She's referring to a box with a face and lights on his desk.]] / Tim: The Demotivator 6000? Why would you think that?
/ Demotivator 6000: Beep! Everything you ever do will end in failure. Beep! / Riley: Why would you build something like that?
/ Tim: It was meant to be an aid for the dangerously over-confident.
/ Demotivator 6000: Nice one, idiot. / Riley: But as mayor, you can fund some bigger inventions that will help all of Tackleford! History couldn't revile you for that.
/ Tim: Maybe you're right... / Tim: Let's see... helping people...
/ [[He imagines a conveyor-belt sidewalk.]] / Tim: Hmm. Hmm! Hmmmm!
/ [[He imagines robots helping old ladies across the street and carrying their groceries. / Tim: Hmeh! Meh heh he he HA!
/ [[He imagines levitating traffic lights with toothy mouths going around zapping people.]] / Tim: Wait, that last one didn't seem helpful at all.]]
/ [[A future Tim, holding the Time Teapot, and his other arm being eaten by a traffic light, materializes.]]
/ Future Tim: Trust me, it wasn't. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050609 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 >>