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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: We're losing the light, shall we pitch the tent here? / Ryan: Yeah, sure. Get it out and we'll figure it out. / Amy: I haven't got it. You've got it. / Ryan: No, I've got the Hexalite stove and the beans. / Amy: RYAN! / Ryan: You were the one who insisted on beans. I concerned myself with the beans. / [[Rain starts]] / Ryan: Let's head back to civilisation then. That's an ominous sky up there. / Amy: Oh no. Oh no. / Ryan: Wow. That's coming down all of a sudden. / Amy: Now, if I die of hypothermia, which as a delicate flower, I probably will... / Ryan: Amy, you're like a battleship. You'll be draggin' my ole skeleton round the woods for weeks as company.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051122
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Woah, a gingerbread house? Who would live in a house like this? / Ryan: The gingerbread man! I love that little guy. He's so accomodating. / Ryan: He's the person you can eat without having to form a death pact on the Internet first. / Amy: Ryan, the gingerbread man doesn't live in a gingerbread house. That's where witches live. Wicked witches. / Ryan: Witches are peaceful. Doin' no harm, healin' you with bark infusions and moonbeams. / Amy: Politically correct clap-trap! / [[Inside, green-skinned woman holds bitten-off gingerbread man]] / Witch: I smell young blood. Young blood and bad manners.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051123
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan and Amy stand outside a gingerbread house in the forest]] / Amy: Whoah, a gingerbread house? Who would live in a house like this? / Ryan: The gingerbread man! I love that little guy, he's so accomodating. / Ryan: He's the person you can eat without having to form a death pact on the Internet first. / Amy: Ryan, the gingerbread man doesn't live in a gingerbread house. That's where witches live. Wicked witches. / Ryan: Witches are peaceful. Doin' no harm, healin' you with bark infusions and moonbeams. / Amy: Politically correct clap-trap! / [[Inside the gingerbread house, an old witch eats a gingerbread man next to a large furnace]] / Witch: I smell young blood. Young blood and bad manners.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051123
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy and Ryan, lost in the woods, have come upon a gingerbread house.]] / Ryan: Ames, I'm not staying out here in the cold all night. / Amy: But...witches! / Ryan: How about showin' some kindness to the wicked witches of the world? Maybe they wouldn't be so wicked if you weren't always judgin'. / Amy: Wooly headed idealism! / Ryan: Well this wooly head will be indoors by the cracklin' fire. / Amy: Frassum Rassum Sassum...[[Clings to a wall of the gingerbread house.]] Fine. I'm going to stay out here and eat the house. / Ryan: You can't do that! / Amy: Yes I can. It's cakey and delicious! [[He tears her away. She takes a chunk out of the wall.]] Plus people have insurance. It's a victimless crime. / Ryan: I'm going to be real ashamed of you if that wafer is load-bearing.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051124
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Oh, I see, you've given in to temptation. / Ryan: This pebble-dashing is chocolate eggs! And I sort of figure I'm doing the witch a favour. Pebble dashing is real 1950's. You'd pay to get rid of it. / Witch: Nibble nibble gnaw! Who is nibbling at my little house? / Amy: Holy shit, Ryan! / Ryan: Wooo... the wind, the wind! Just some gusts! Nice! / Amy: Oooh, is that caulking icing sugar? / Amy: Ooops. / Ryan: Stick it back on! Stick it back on with some spit! Stick it back on with some spit!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051125
Scary Go Round 20051128 Witch: Children, what are you doing to my house? / Ryan: We're... starving! Starving! / Amy: We're lost in the woods. It's awful. We don't know what to do. / Ryan: We wouldn't have eaten your house if we'd known it was a house. / Amy: Of course not! / Ryan: We thought it was a natural sugar formation. Like Sugar Loaf Mountain! / Amy: Or Sugar Ray Leonard! / Witch: You poor mites! Come in, come into the warm! / Ryan: See? I told you witches were good and kind. / Amy: When you're right about something, I get the sick sensation that reality is broken.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051128
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Witch: Eat, eat! You must be famished! / Ryan: Mmm! Extremely delicious! / Amy: With this spread you are really spoiling us. / Ryan: Ames, I can't manage any of this. / Amy: Me neither. I ate a whole candy architrave outside. I'm this close to having a fit. / Ryan: We can hide the food in our bags while she's not looking. / Amy: Yes. Yes. The mature solution. / Witch: All finished dearies? I've made up beds for you both. / Ryan: Well that's real pleasant of you, madam, much obliged. (to Amy) Ain't this nice? Didn't we get lucky? / Amy: Her fingers were like five lobster legs feeling me up for the farmer's market.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051129
Scary Go Round 20051129 Witch: Eat, eat! You must be famished! / Ryan: Mmm! Extremely delicious! / Amy: With this spread you are really spoiling us. / Ryan (sotto vocce): Ames, I can't manage any of this. / Amy: Me neither. I ate a whole candy architrave outside. I'm this close to having a fit. / Ryan: We can hide the food in our bags while she's not looking. / Amy: Yes, yes. The mature solution. / Witch: All finished, dearies? I've made up beds for you both. / Ryan: Well that's real pleasant of you, Madam. Much obliged. / Ryan: Ain't this nice? Didn't we get lucky? / Amy: Her fingers were like five lobster legs feeling me up for the fish market.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051129
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: zzz... / Ryan: Yeah... sure... where y'all at... / Witch: Ahhhh, childrems, so pretty when they sleep. And so plump and delicious and good to eat! She will make a dainty mouthful. But the boy is as thin as a rake, all gristle and chew. He needs fattening up for the pot. Let's put a stop to all that wasteful moving around. / Cat (Hesketh): Mew. / Witch: Don't worry, Hesketh, we fall well outside the reach of the "Geneva Convention".
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051130
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: zzz / Ryan: Yeah... Sure... Where y'all at... / Witch: Ahhh, childrens, so pretty when they sleep. / Witch: And so plump and delicious and good to eat! She will make a dainty mouthful. / Witch: But the boy is as thin as a rake, all gristle and chew. He needs fattening up for the pot. <> / Witch: Let's put a stop to all that wasteful moving around. / Hesketh: Mew. / Witch: Don't worry Hesketh, we fall well outside the reach of the "Geneva Convention." / Ryan: Dang!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051130
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Yawwwwn... / Witch: Get up lazybones! You have work to do! / Amy: Hey! Hey! I like to come-to gently! / Witch: Fetch some water and cook something for your brother! / Amy: My brother? / Witch: He is in the stable and is to be made fat! / Amy: And what if I don't? / Witch: Then you can wash my smalls while I fetch the water. / Amy: I'll fetch the water. / Witch: Augghhhhhh. / Amy: Fetch it so, so good.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051201
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Man, what am I doin' in this cell? Maybe I'm a political prisoner. / Ryan: I know I got some forthright attitudes. / Ryan: I guess a man can only complain so much about the amount of tax on beer and smokes... / Ryan: Before they shut the door on his life. / Ryan: [[singing]] FREEEEEE NELSON MANDELA! / Ryan: Ames, I'm a victim of injustice. Notify the free press. / Amy: Here's your breakfast of cakes, jame and cakes, Ryan! Eat up! / Amy: Ryan, she's fattening you up to eat you. Don't eat too much, do some crunches! / Ryan: EAT ME? This is one tyrannical regime. / Amy: I'll be back later! Be brave! / Ryan: I thought speed cameras seemed tough, but did things ever snowball.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051202
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan sits strumming a banjo made of various foodstuffs in his jail cell]] / Ryan: Oh lonesome night... / Ryan: ...just me and my biscuit banjo / Ryan: Awaitin' liberation by UN peacekeepers / Ryan: So hopped up on cakes that nothin' even rhymes any more, ooooo! / [[From outside cell]] / Witch: Little boy, little boy! / Witch: Put your fingers through the bar, little boy, that I might feel how fat you have become. / Ryan: It's the weigh-in! It's the weigh-in! I gots to fail or get eatin'! / Ryan: [[looking down]] Cadbury's fingers? / [The witch feels the Cadbury's Fingers that Ryan has stuck through the bars on the door] / Witch: Bah! Far from fat enough! I will feed you more. The sweetest pies, the lardiest dough. / [The witch sticks her hand through the bars, holding a bottle] / Witch: Little boy, would you mind dousing yourself in this marinade? / Ryan: Sorry, I can't reach. Mostly out of not wanting to.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051205
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[RYAN is in his cell, surrounded by sweets. He has a crude banjo made from cakes]] / RYAN:[[singing]] Oh lonesome night... / ...Just me and my biscuit banjo / Awaitin' liberation by UN peacekeepers / So hopped up on cakes that nothin' even rhymes anymore, / Ooooo! / WITCH:[[from outside the cell]] Little boy, little boy! / Put your finger through the bars, little boy, that I might feel how fat you have become. / RYAN:It's the weigh-in! / It's the weigh-in! / I gots to fail or get eaten! / Cadbury's Fingers! / [[RYAN holds two Cadbury's Fingers out his cell window. The WITCH feels them]] / WITCH: BAH! / Far from fat enough! / I will feed you more. / The sweetest pies, the lardiest dough. / Little boy, would you mind dousing yourself in this marinade? / RYAN: Sorry, I can't reach. Mostly out of not wanting to.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051205
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Witch: Tarnation and blast! Never have I captured a child so slow to fatten! / Amy: Oh well, no one can say you didn't try. Best to let us go, eh? / Witch: What, and wait months to capture more children? I could not bear it! / Witch: Fat or lean I shall eat him anyway! / Witch: We'll bake first. You climb in the oven and clean it out. / Amy: I'm not climbing in the oven. I get claustraphobic. I might scratch the self cleaning lining. I'll do a wee in there.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051206
Scary Go Round 20051207 Witch: Disagreeable little girl! Climb in the oven as you're told or I'll take the broomstick to you! / Amy: I don't think I can fit in here! / Witch: Get out of my way, stupid little girl, and let me show you. / Witch: You climb in forwards like so and-- / [[Amy sees up the witch's skirt - red and white striped stockings and a "DEVO" butt-tattoo.]] / Witch: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LET ME OUT! / <> / Amy: Oh dear! Your broomstick seems to have fallen behind the handle. Believe me, this is as inconvenient for me as it is for you!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051207
Scary Go Round 20051208 Amy: Ryan, Ryan, I trapped the witch! We have to go now! / Ryan: That was pretty resourceful of you, Amy. Just unlock the door and we'll get to escaping. Do you know where the key is? / Amy: Can't you just chew your way out? / Ryan: The door's wood. Why does everybody keep wantin' me to eat? / Amy: Wait! There's a big bunch of keys hanging up in the kitchen! / [[Amy climbs up to reach the keys, and in doing so pushes down the lever turning on the oven.]] / <> / <> / Witch: I was saving you for Christmas dinner, but when I get out, I'm going to eat you first. / Amy: I'll elave a note on the table explaining how scaaared I am. / Witch: Is it getting... hotter in here?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051208
a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051209">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051209 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051212">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051212 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051213">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051213 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Here you go, Ames. A refreshin' drink. What are you lookin' at? / Amy: I video'd the with on my camera phone. She didn't know what it was. / Amy: I told her it was a chin scratcher. / Amy: Ryan! I just thought! Is the witch a new species? / Amy: We could still win the ten grand from Chester Jones! <> / Ryan: She's just an old woman with some issues. / Amy: Ryan, she was 7ft tall and green. / Ryan: She was living off the land pretty good... I don't think that makes her a new creature. / Ryan: Oh, you mean her face. That ain't appropriate. / Amy: It isn't racist to point out someone's green! / Amy: It's a celebration of diversity! / Amy: Like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051214
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The screen of Amy's cellphone is showing a video of the witch, offering her a bun]] / Witch: Hobbledy gobbledy little girl! Do you like /buns/? / [[The screen of Amy's cellphone is showing a video of the witch, holding up her black cat and glaring]] / Witch: Don't point your chin scratcher at me! This chin's not for scratchin'! / [[Chester Jones is looking at the cellphone video. Ryan is leaning in behind him with his arm on Chester's office chair. Amy is on the other side of the desk, leaning forward.]] / Chester: Astonishing, Ryan, Amy, astonishing. Looking at these pictures, I can only describe this as the first documented sighting of "Witchus witchus"...or the common witch. / [[Ryan and Amy are in the lift. Ryan is holding the check for E10000, Amy is hugging him joyfully.]] / Ryan: E5000 each! E5000! That's 500,000 penny sweets! / Amy: I've never been this rich. Or this /smug/. / [[Outside the lift, Amy is looking winsome/cunning with her hands folded beneath her chin. Ryan is spreading his arms questioningly.]] / Amy: I'm going to buy a box of dreams and piss them all away. / Ryan: Why? / Amy: Just because I /can/.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051215
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy comes in the front door, carrying a large box with a happy cloud on it...possibly the box of dreams mentioned in the previous strip. Shelley is there to greet her.]] / Amy: Shelley Shelley! / Shelley: Amy! I hear you had an adventure of the wildest kind. / Shelley: I had a run in with Chester Jones too. We went on a date. A hot date. / Amy: A date! / Shelley: It came out over the course of the evening that he was still in love with a bison named Agnes. / Amy: Augh! No! / Shelley: Yes. He lived too long among the Okapi. Got him some dirty ways. So I told him, I don't hand out prizes for being /weird/. / Amy: Did you strike him squarely between the four humours of his body, for his cheek? / Shelley: No. But I thought about it. It turned out that just his hypothetical whinin', cryin' and pleadin' was enough!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051216
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley is walking along carrying a present and singing]] / Shelley: Christmas time, mistletoe and wine / Eating mince pies with Jeremy Vine / With frogs on the fire and dogs in the tree / [[Shelley has reached a house and Amy has opened the door]] / Shelley [[still singing]]: Time to rejoice in the owls that we see! / Amy: Stop your caterwauling and come in, Shelley. You'll wake up baby Jesus. / [[In the kitchen, Shelley watches Amy shake her present. Amy's dad is standing behind the stove, looking sad]] / Shelley: Is your dad coming with us for a Christmas drink? / Amy: Not if we creep out. Move with the shadows. / Amy's Dad: She's letting me come if I promise to sit quietly and pay for everything. / Every day I wake up and thank God for my wonderful luck.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051219
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Christmas time, mistletoe and wine / Shelley: Eating mince pies with Jeremy Vine / Shelley: With frogs on the fire and dogs in the tree / Shelley: Time to rejoice in the owls that we see! / Amy: Stop your caterwaling and come in, Shelley. You'll wake up Baby Jesus. / Shelley: Is your dad coming with us for a Christmas drink? / Amy: Not if we creep out. Move with the shadows. / Mr. Pickering: She's letting me come if I promise to sit quietly and pay for everything. / Mr. Pickering: Every day I wake up and thank God for my wonderful luck.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051219
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy is leaning on a stone wall while her father and Shelley stand nearby]] / Amy: Did you ever stop to think that baby Jesus was an alien? / Perhaps Mary found him and stuck him and stuck him up her robe for 6 months. / He lived up there eating jam then, bam! Virgin birth! / Shelley: That is the most appalingly blasphemous thing I have ever heard. / Amy: Just because something's blasphemous doesn't mean it's not true. / Shelley: For instance? / Amy: God doesn't know how to ride a bike. / [[Amy is shouting at the sky, as is Shelley, who is trying to hold her back]] / Amy: Jesus' centre-parting has dated badly! / Shelley: Don't listen, God! She's jokin'! / [[Amy's Dad shows them to the car, while Amy walks behind looking evil-ish]] / Shelley: Len, couldn't you have raised her right? / Len: I tried. I tried. / But I remember an old crone visited us when she was a baby. / I've never been able to tell if she put a curse on Amy or everybody else.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051220
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Did you ever stop to think that Baby Jesus was an ALIEN? / Amy: Perhaps Mary found him and stuck him up her robe for 6 months. / Shelley: That is the most appalingly blasphemous thing I have ever heard. / Amy: He lived up there eating jame, then BAM! Virgin birth! / Amy: Just because something's blasphemous doesn't mean it's not true / Shelley: For instance? / Amy: God doesn't know how to ride a bike. / [[both looking up]] / Amy: Jesus' centre-parting has dated badly! / Shelley: Don't listen, God! She's jokin'! / Shelley: Len, couldn't you have raised her right? / Mr. Pickering: I tried. I tried. / Mr. Pickering: But I remember an old crone visited us when she was a baby. / Mr. Pickering: I've never been able to tell if she put a curse on Amy or everybody else.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051220
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy and Shelley are in a bar where Ryan is sitting, looking at a flyer]] / Amy: Fleas' Navvy Dads! / Shelley: Happy Christmas Ryan! Happy Christmas! / Ryan: I thought you were going to get here. I read this flyer 18 times. / [[The closeup of the flyer reads: "Bare cheeked?" / Unable to cultivate a moustache?" / WE CAN HELP" / a picture of a man with a moustache, underneath reading "TV's Dennis Bough" / MORTON FACIAL FURNITURE" / 'The dream weavers' / 0145141119" / [[The three are now sitting at the table]] / Amy: Sorry. But you got us a table by the fire! / Shelley: People were lookin' with envious magpie eyes. / Ryan: Little do they know that one of my cheeks is now really hot. / I wonder if a fake beard deflects heat or conducts it. / Shelley: It depends on what it's made from. / A beard of bees would be no use in repelling hot fire. / [[Amy, making luring gestures and with imaginary bees around her]] / Amy: I don't think you can buy a beard of bees, Shelley. I think you have to lure them in. / Maybe glue a miniature funfair to your chin.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051221
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Fleas' Navvy Dads! / Shelley: Happy Christmas Ryan! Happy Christmas! / Ryan: I thought you were never going to get here. I read this flyer 18 times. / [[A flyer reading "Bare Cheeked?/Unable to cultivate a moustache?/WE CAN HELP/MORTON FACIAL FURNITURE/"The dream weavers"/0145141119" is magnified from Ryan's hand]] / Amy: Sorry, but you got us the table by the fire! / Shelley: People were lookin' with envious magpie eyes. / Ryan: Little do they know that one of my cheeks is now really hot. / Ryan: I wonder if a fake beard deflects heat or conducts it. / Shelley: It depends what it's made from. / Shelley: A beard of bees would be no use in repelling hot fire. / Amy: I don't think you can buy a beard of bees, Shelley. I think you have to lure then in. / Amy: Maybe glue a miniature funfair to your chin.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051221
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley and Amy are playing darts at a bar]] / Shelley: I like country pubs, away from the yahoos, the hooray henrys and the paralytic vertical drinkers. / Amy: Yeah, but there's no kebab van. / The only chance for a greasy treat is if you savage a beast on the way home. / Shelley: Well, you could always make something when you get home. / Amy: You and I both know there would be an inferno. / My carcass would be discovered still clutching a semi-frozen pizza. / Amy: It's not my fault that when I'm drunk, the oven transforms into a dangerous automaton. / 400 dials and a nu-cular core. / Shelley: Ames, Mrs Thatcher used to run the country drunk sometimes, and it was fine! / Except the time she told the army to "chop off Scotland".
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051222
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: I like country pubs, away from the yahoos, the hooray Henrys and the paralytic vertical drinkers. / Amy: Yeah, but there's no kebab van. / Amy: The only chance for a greasy treat is if you savage a beast on the way home. / Shelley: Well, you could always make something when you get home. / Amy: You and I both know there would be an inferno. / Amy: My carcass would be discovered still clutching a semi-frozen pizza. / Amy: It's not my fault that when I'm drunk the oven transforms into a dangerous automaton. / Amy: 400 dials and a nu-cular core. / Shelley: Ames, Mrs. Thatcher used to run the country drunk sometimes, and it was fine! / Shelley: Except the time she told the army to "chop off Scotland".
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051222
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The Boy is walking in the background, Esther and Erin are lurking behind a half wall in the foreground]] / [[Erin and Esther have stood up, and Esther is holding a snowball poised for throwing]] / Erin [[shouting]]: Happy Christmas, The Boy! / [[The Boy has snow in his hair and on his shoulders. Esther is grinning and Erin has her hands in the air]] / The Boy: How, how is this a "Happy Christmas?" / Esther: It didn't have a rock in it? It wasn't... yellow snow? / Erin: And a happy New Year!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051223
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Erin and Esther are hiding as The Boy approaches. Esther is motioning for Erin to be quiet.]] / [[Esther gets ready to throw a snowball.]] / Erin: Happy Christmas, The Boy! / [[The Boy is covered in fragments of snow.]] / The Boy: How, how is this a "happy Christmas?" / Esther: It didn't have a rock in it? / Erin: And a Happy New Year! / Esther: It wasn't... yellow snow?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051223
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley reviews / John A's top 20 albums of the year / (the fonts have been changed to protect the innocent) / [[Shelly is wearing headphones and scibbling on a notepad]] / Today: 20-17 / (20) SHOUT OUT LOUDS - Howl Howl Gaff Gaff / In Sweden, there is a band called Shout Out Louds. Their music is not so different from other men (and ladies) with guitars and uptempo songs, but they have the Euro-spin to give it a little charm. They are from a cold land and this is the sound of music made wearing three or four coats. / (19) ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI - In Case We Die / In contrast, Architecture In Helsinki are from Australia, where the sun shines almost constantly, to the permanent annoyance of the moon! Wether you will be annoyed by "In Case We Die" depends primairily on whether you think songs made out og little bits are "mini-epics" or "foolish nonsense". These are some catchy noises, you can shout along if that is your way. / (18) HAL - Hal / This year many bands tried to make albums of cheeky sun-shine guitar pop, capitalising on the British public's love of smiles! Hal wee punched on the nose and lapped in the chart race by the Magic Numbers, but that doesn't make them bad people. Even the front of their record is pixies and elves, they are trying so hard to make you have a good time. / (17) SIGUR ROS - Takk... / Sigur Ros are the masters of music that is epic sounding with made-up language tooting and whistling over the top. But with a big heave they have made another record that is the same, but written in the press release that it is super-different. The press release said it was kind of Kylie Minogue crossed with Radiohead and the Ramones. Everyone is fooled!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051226
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley reviews / John A's top 20 albums of the year / (We successfully removed Camden tube station from the map) / [[Shelly is wearing headphones and scibbling on a notepad]] / Today: 16-13 / (16) CARIBOU - The Milk of Human Kindness / Caribou used to be called "Manitoba", but he got told off. This happens sometimes. This record features some of his excellent psych'delic electronic sounds, which delight the ear. But beware, there is also some slightly off-key singing which may dismay the musicologists among you. / (15) EELS - Blinking Lights & Other Revelations / Here is a tip for Eels frontman "E". If you have written your ten best ever songs, people will be able to tell better if you do not release them with 23 other songs on the album! People have busy lives, and 33 songs about sadness is hard work for a mind! Eels are the best sad band, bu they need to sell some excess songs to Girls Aloud. / (14) THE DECEMBERISTS - Picaresque / You can tell that the Decemberists are a band with big dreams of extreme wealth. They have ambitious idead and the public like their seafaring plans. This is their best full-length record but I think their EPs are better because the Decemberists man doesn't half wail on. I think halfway through, they should get Enya in to give things her own vocal spin and give our ears a rest. Smart. / (13) ANNIE - Anniemal / Annie is the ultimate lady of club-land, making pop tunes to tickle the ears of the dancing human, whether they are at home or going "big fish, little fish, cardboard box" at the local Ritzy. Even if you are a rock snob who turns their nose up at synthetic sounds, you should let Annie make some sounds because I am sure you will be pleased by them and tail-feathers will be shaken.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051227
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley reviews / John A's top 20 albums of the year / (favourite garden bird: titmouse) / [[Shelly is wearing headphones and scibbling on a notepad]] / Today: 12-9 / (12) SERENA MANEESH - Serena Maneesh / Back in 1991 it was important to earn you stripes in a Sonic Cathedral, pressing 100 effects pedals and singing about a limpid pool. Everything old is new again in Norway, so consider this a coffee morning at the church of shoegazin'. The vicar says: "no song starts until at least four minutes in." / (11) ANIMAL COLLECTIVE - Feels / In the past, Animal Collective have sung songs using only the rudiments of sound (and drugs), but this time around, they have heard a Modest Mouse song through a wall and have a go at "rocking"! It lasts for half an album before they are all flat on their backs with exhaustion but I say well done all round for trying. / (10) CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah / "CYHSY" are a band who are famous because they made this record popular all on their own without help. They didn't "burn" the CDs, they pricked the songs into them with pins! These are good songs for people who like Talking Heads but don't like to hear the words of the songs enunciated (perhaps they find lyricals conciets distracting from the process of counting the notes). / (9) SPOON - Gimme Fiction / Spoon are giants of the rock scene, masters of making noises sound just right. Unofrtuantely they are cursed not to be very successful in the way, say, Meatloaf is. But while Meatloaf's songs are 20 minutes long and about how he wants to have sex with a Harley Davidson, Spoon's songs are three minutes long and about how they are in love with a luscious vampire lady. SWOON.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051228
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley reviews / John A's top 20 albums of the year / (Big Muff vs Gojira) / [[Shelly is wearing headphones and scibbling on a notepad]] / Today: 8-5 / (8) AIMEE MAN - The Forgotten Arm / It makes good sense for a tall stick insect like Aimee Mann to take up boxing because there is always the chance she could be beaten up by togher rock stars like Suzi Quatro or Meredith "I'm a Bitch" Brooks. Writing sensitive songs about boxing is a new thing for music and we must wait and see if it is the right thing. / (7) GIANT DRAG - Hearts and Unicorns / You can hear the Giant Drag lady talking between songs, and it is fairly obvious that she is a dangerous lunatic. On this record she ably demonstrates how she could have joined any 1990s "alternative" group and done the business. Where "the business" is strangling the person who writes the songs and writing them herself! If time travel is invented, J Mascis and Kim Deal should WATCH OUT. / (6) BEN FOLDS - Songs For Silverman / Ben Folds is like a very capable bus driver, who always drives the very best he can and never splashes an old lady with a paddle. He is not going to surprise you by popping a wheelie - that wouldn't be right! "Songs for Silverman" is his best bus driving in years and years, playing his piano and coming up with nice ideas that will charm even the meanest old mother-funster. / (5) RILO KILEY - More Adventurous / Rilo Kiley have snuck up on the world with their song ideas and smart-aleck ways. Now they have unleashed all their musical forms at once and it is up to us to pick up the pieces! Jenny Lewis and her friends (some men) have the cleverest lyrics and no aversion to cussing all and sundry with their smarts! Sometimes there is country, sometimes soul, sometimes rock. It is splendid!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051229
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley reviews / John A's top 20 albums of the year / (Shelley loves it when a plan comes together) / [[Shelly is wearing headphones and scibbling on a notepad]] / Today: 4-1 and a happy New Year / (4) STARS - Set Yourself On Fire / Stars are on of Canada's many up-and coming outfits, with one eye on rock success and one eye on being very nice, polite and kind. This potentially bog-eyed approach does not hamper their music, which is "sweeping", "romantical", "moving" and features both man and lady singing of high standards. / (3) THE HOLD STEADY - Separation Sunday / What a racket this is. The Hold Steady is a band with a singer who likes to holler on while his band do Bruce Springsteen E Street Band impressions. it's important that he is good at hollerin', because they kick up a fierce noise. In an alternate universe, stadiums of people would be punching the air, but this is the real world so it will just be three Pitchfork reviewers and an old punk called Terry. / (2) SUFJAN STEVENS - Illinoise / Sufjan Stevens' mission to make albums about every state sounds redic'lous but he looks pretty clean living to me so he could make it. There are a lot of songs on here and they are all good. It is nice to hear songs that are not about "lovin' your baby hell yeah" yet still get you sniffin' and thinking about a pretty horizon. There is one song where he tries to go to the disco but there are zombie problems! / (1) BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE - Broken Social Scene / If you have lots of people in a band, it is bound to sound a bit confusing. It also does not help that someone has sat on the mixing desk and messed up all the faders. These are exciting noises and good tunes but you will have to get your ears ready, perhaps by listening to a seashell. After a few listens it ceases to be a sonic "Quagmire" and simply becomes "awl-right!" Haw haw! No, 1!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051230
a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051231">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20051231 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 

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