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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[four boys from previous acts admire the singer, Roxy Postlethwaite, from off-stage]] / tight-playing band guitarist: GUH / Milford:UH / The Boy: YUH / lizard-mourning musician: HUH / [[the mysterious child, held up a window by his ominous parent or guardian, observes the performance through a periscope]] / the child: SONG! THE SPECIAL SONG! / ominous guardian: GOOD, GOOD. ROXY WILL SHOW THEM THE WAY. / [[the speakers emit sparks and smoke]] / <> / coven of sepsis member: YOW! / Battle of Bands organizer: I THINK THE ELECTRICS HAVE GONE, BUT EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND TO COVEN OF SEPSIS! / [[Shelley Winters takes notes on the performance, as the child's periscope watches over her shoulder]] / Shelley: WALL OF STATIC FRONTED BY... SHE-BANSHEE... EVENTUALLY INTERRUPTED BY A MERCIFUL GOD.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060210
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Boy 1: Guh / Milford: Uh / The Boy: Yuh / Boy 2: Huh / [[The boys are captivated by Roxy's ability to sing... nothing, everything, something portrayed by a large black rectangle.]] / [[Child in Shelley's hoodie is watching Roxy's performance from the outside, using a periscope.]] / Child: Song! The special song! / Child's parent: Good, good. Roxy will show them the way. / Sarah: Yow! / <> <> [[The sound system blows.]] / Ms. Liversey: I think the electrics have gone, but everyone give a big hand to the Coven of Sepsis! / Shelley: Wall of static fronted by... SHE-BANSHEE... / Eventually interrupted by a MERCIFUL GOD.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060210
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Edwin walks away triumphantly clutching his trophy. Erin, Shelley and Esther stand by Shelley's car]] / Erin: Why did you choose Edwin to win the battle of the bands? He's not even a band. / Shelley: His songs spoke of a sad soul. I wanted to cheer him up. And he can use his trophy to defend himself against those tough looking boys waiting for him. / Esther: Please can I have a lift, Shelley? Travelling on the bus aggravates my eye. / Shelley: Certainly! You must be pleased you didn't join your friend's band now. What a racket. / Esther: It was something. I was impressed with Roxy though. Where do you learn to sing white noise? / Shelley: Tuvan throat singers can sing two notes at once. But that's necessary to sooth the winsome yak.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060213
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Erin: Why did you choose Edwin to win the battle of the bands? He's not even a band. / Shelley: His songs spoke of a sad soul. I wanted to cheer him up. And he can use his trophy to defend himself against those tough looking boys waiting for him. / Esther: Please can I have a lift, Shelley? Travelling on the bus aggravates my eye. / Shelley: Certainly! You must be pleased you didn't join your friends' band now. What a racket. / Esther: It was something. I was impressed with Roxy though. Where do you learn to sing white noise? / Shelley: Tuvan throat singers can sing two notes at once. But that's necessary to soothe the winsome yak.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060213
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Milford: Lads, I'm blown away. I can't believe Roxy feels this way about me. Up there, on stage, siinging "Milford's ass is so beautiful". / The Boy: Excuse me? It was "The Boy is a glowing Adonis". Clean your ears out. / Milford: Eh, you're just jealous, The Boy. Plenty more fish in the sea. / The Boy: Shut up, Milford, a beautiful thing happened today and... / Oggy: Gentlemen, gentlemen, this is nonsense. She sang her love for me and- / The Boy: TAKE THAT BACK, OGGY, TAKE IT BACK / The Boy: Rrrf / Milford: Grr / Oddy: Nggh / Oggy: Wait! Something about this doesn't make sense! / The Boy: Enf! Enf! / Oggy: Two things! Two things don't make sense!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060214
Scary Go Round : Roxy's Song Milford: Lads, I'm blown away. I can't believe Roxy feels this way about me. Up there on stage, singing "Milford's Ass is so Beautiful". / The Boy: Excuse me? It was "The Boy is a Glowing Adonis". Clean your ears out. / Milford: Eh, you're just jealous, The Boy. Plenty more fish in the sea. / The Boy: Shut up, Milford, a beautiful thing happened today and... / Oggy: Gentlemen, gentlemen, this is nonsense. She sang her love for me and-- / The Boy: TAKE THAT BACK, OGGY, TAKE IT BACK / [[Fight scene.]] / The Boy: RRF / Milford: GRR / Oggy: NGGH / Oggy: Wait! Something about this doesn't make sense! / The Boy: ENF ENF! / Oggy: Two things! Two things don't make sense!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060214
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Pam, Roxy's mother, and Peter, Roxy's father, seated at a table. Peter is looking through a phone book.]] / Pam: What are we going to do about Roxy? It's either drugs or... / Peter: Climbing frames... climate change... clinics. / Pam: Are you sure, Peter? Are you absolutely sure? / Peter: We're not getting through to her. She needs professional help. / [[Hugo Rodriguez enters, holding a business card.]] / Hugo: You need a professional? Here I am! Hugo Rodriguez, Rodriguez Artist Management. / Pam: How did you get in? / [[Hugo places a briefcase on the table in front of an anxious-looking Peter.]] / Hugo: No door is closed to Hugo. He is an impressario of the old school. Momma, Daddy, where's your little Roxanne? / [[Hugo sits and props his boots on a chair. He opens the briefcase.]] / Hugo: My nephew Pepe sees her at school, says she is a performer for our age. A revelation. / <> / Pam: You see, Peter, you see? She's not a junkie or mentally ill, she's gifted! / Peter: I always knew it. My uncle Terry played melodica at the Palladium. It's in the genes.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060215
Scary Go Round :: A Performer for Our Age Roxy's Mum: What are we going to do about Roxy? It's either drugs or... / Roxy's Dad: [[going through a phone book]] Climbing frames... climate change... CLINICS. / Roxy's Mum: Are you sure, Peter? Are you absolutely sure? / Roxy's Dad: We're not getting through to her. She needs professional help. / Hugo: You need a professional? Here I am! Hugo Rodriguez, Rodriguez Artist Management. / Roxy's Mum: How did you get in? / [[Hugo lays a briefcase upon the table and winks.]] / Hugo: No door is closed to Hugo. He is an impressario of the old school. Momma, Daddy, where's your little Roxanne? / Hugo: My nephew Pepe sees her at school, says she is a performer for our age. A REVELATION. / [[Hugo opens the briefcase, which is filled with banknotes.]] <> / Roxy's Mum: You see, Peter, you see? She's not a junkie or mentally ill, she's gifted! / Roxy's Dad: I always knew it. My Uncle Terry played melodica at the Palladium. It's in the genes.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060215
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Lindsay, Sarah, and Roxy sit in Roxy's room after the Battle of the Bands. A feeling of disappointment and rejection is apparent in all three girls.]] / Lindsay: (sulking) I can't believe we didn't win. We rocked the [blank] out of them. / Sarah: Never mind Linds. We'll play a few gigs and maybe record some tunes and- / Roxy's Mother: Girls, this gentleman would like to speak with you. / / Hugo: Roxy, my nephew Pepe says you are a star for our time. I have here a dangerous sum of money and a contract. / / Linsay: YIIIII! / Sarah: Hurray hurray! We made it! We're going to be stars! / / Hugo: (tentatively) Girls, cease your jubilations. Pepe said I should "give the two goths a wide berth". / Linsay: (looking enraged) What? / / Sarah: But this is our band! We made her! / Hugo: Sorry, but he has a sharp eye for a boy who spends so much time in the bathroom.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060216
Scary Go Round :: Give the Goths a Wide Berth [[Lindsey, Sarah, and Roxy are sulking in Roxy's room.]] / Lindsey: I can't believe we didn't win. We rocked the **** out of them. / Sarah: Never mind Linds. We'll play a few gigs and maybe record some tunes and-- / Roxy's Mum: Girls, this gentleman would like to speak with you. / Hugo: Roxy, my nephew Pepe says you are a star for our time. I have a dangerous sum of money and a contract. / [[Lindsey and Sarah embrace.]] / Lindsey: YIIIIIIII! / Sarah: Hurray hurray! We made it! We're going to be stars! / Hugo: Girls, cease your jubilations. Pepe said I should "give the two Goths a wide berth" / Lindsey: WHAT? / Sarah: But this is our band! We MADE her! / Hugo [[looking away]]: Sorry, but he has a sharp eye for a boy who spends so much time in the bathroom.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060216
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Esther and The Boy enter a room with chairs and a table.]] / Esther: Well, I hope you drank plenty of water last night to replace the drool you lost over Roxy on Friday. / The Boy: I kind of embarrassed myself. But so did every other boy in the school. We've decided to deal with it. By never talking about it ever again. / [[Esther and The Boy are seated at the table over papers, pencils, and books.]] / Esther: I spoke to Sarah last night. Apparently she's quitting school to "become a star". So I look forward to a fabulous arrangement of tail between legs when she comes back. / The Boy: I don't know, Esther. I think she has the Indian sign over the minds of men. / [[Esther appears angry or slighted. The Boy gets involved in writing.]] / Esther: What a surprise. / The Boy: No, it's odd! Men want the forces' sweetheart, not Cruella de Whiplash in PVC and a cape. / [[Esther appears disappointed. The Boy continues writing.]] / Esther: Will I ever be the forces' sweetheart, The Boy? / The Boy: I'm sure that when the doomed poets mobilise, they'll paint you on their planes.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060217
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Esther and The Boy discuss men in thrall to Roxy's singing while studying]] / Esther: Well, I hope you drank plenty of water last night to replace the drool you lost over Roxy on Friday. / The Boy: I kind of embarrassed myself. But so did every other boy in the school. We've decided to deal with it. By Never talking about it ever again. / Esther: I spoke to Sarah last night. Apparently she's quitting school to "Become a Star". So I look forward to a fabulous arrangement of tail between legs when she comes back. / The Boy: I don't know, Esther. I think she has the Indian sign over the minds of men. / Esther: What a surprise. / The Boy: No, It's odd! Men want the Forces' Sweetheart, not Curella de Whiplash in pvc and a cape. / Esther: Will I ever be the Forces' Sweetheart, The Boy? / The Boy: I'm sure that when the doomed poets mobilise, they'll paint you on their planes. / {{Chapter 27: New Fear, page 35}}
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060217
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley Winters on bed, knitting]] / Shelley Winters: Knit 2 purl 1, a spinster's work is never done. / Shelley Winters: I wish I could sleep, but I am too excited about stella mccarthey at H&M tomorrow. / Shelley Winters: Up at 6 to kick all those uppity secretaries out of the way. / Shelley Winters: Then trousers and... what is that scritching? / Shelley Winters: Furries behind the skirting boards! / Shelley Winters: Men dressed as sexy lions, frolicking in the woodwork. / Winking furry dog: Hi! / Goat: wanna play? / Cute something: grr! / Shelley Winters: That won't do at all! / [[Shelley Winters looks under bed]] / Shelley Winters: A Mouse! Dirty vermin! / Mouse: EEK! / Mouse: Pwease don't evict me! / Mouse: I'm a mouse! / Shelley Winters: Have you ever met like minded "mice" at a chain hotel or exhibition centre? / Shelley Winters: Think carefully about your answer.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060220
Scary Go Round : Knit 1 Purl 2 Shelley: Knit 2 Purl 1, a spinster's work is never done / <> / Shelley: I wish I could sleep, but I'm too excited about STELLA MCCARTNEY AT H&M tomorrow. Up at 6 to karate kick all those uppity secretaries out of the way. / <> / Shelley: Then trousers and... WHAT IS THAT SCRITCHING? Furries behind the skirting boards! / <> / Shelley: Men dressed as sexy lions, frolicking in the woodwork! That won't do at all! / [[Imaginary animal heads address Shelley, in turn]] Hi! Wana play? Grr! / [[Shelley peeks under her bed.]] / Mouse: Eek! Pwease don't evict me! I'm a mouse! / Shelley: A mouse! Dirty vermin! Have you ever met like minded "mice" at a chain hotel or exhibition centre? Think CAREFULLY about your answer.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060220
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mouse: don't hurt me Shelley! Don't cut off my tail with a carving knife! / Shelley: I'd never do such a thing in my life! / Shelley: I'm a friend to critters, but you have no business chewing my posessions. / Mouse: It's the only way I know! The mouse way! "Chew lesy ye be chewed." / Mouse: Most of my family was eaten by a cat in a hiking accident! / Mouse: Then my other relatives disappeared while on holiday! / Shelley: How unfortunate! A life of tragedy. / Mouse: Now I wander alone. / Shelley: Well not today! you can sleep on my pillow and know friendship. Just don't chew nothin'! / Mouse: I won't! / <> / Mouse: I promise.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060221
Scary Go Round :: Double-crossin' mousewig! [[Shelley holds mouse by the scruff of its back and glares at it.]] / Mouse: Don't hurt me Shelley! Don't cut off my tail with a carving knife! / Shelley: I'd never do such a thing in my life! / Shelley: I'm a friend to critters, but you have no business chewing my posessions. / Mouse: It's the only way I know! The Mouse Way! "Chew lest ye be chewed." / [[Flashback to mice in backpacks unknowingly walking onto a cat's tongue.]] / Mouse: Most of my family was eaten by a cat in a hiking accident! / [[Flashback to mice in swimming trunks climbing into a cat's mouth, which is labelled "water slide."]] / Mouse: Then my other relatives disappeared while on holiday! / Shelley: How unfortunate! A life of tragedy. / Mouse: Now I wander alone. / Shelley: Well not today! You can sleep on my pillow and know friendship. Just don't chew nothin'! / Mouse: I won't! / <> [[as the light is turned off]] / [[Mouse's eyes glow red, and he smiles EVILLY.]] / Mouse: I PROMISE.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060221
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison we're going on a journey, me and my house just bein' free / swimming with the fishes, laughing with the coral under the sea / and this magical thing i've found, a new friend so near to the ground / eating cheese and chewing on books, getting all the envious looks / he's a mouse, he's a mouse that's small... / we get along even though i'm tall / i'd never squash him under my shoe / (i'll go to prison if i do) / mr mouse, stella mccartney and me / eatin' crumpets and drinkin' some tea / forever happy livin' next to a bee.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060222
Scary Go Round: Shelley's dream [[entire comic is a dream sequence, drawn in Beatles-esque cartoon style]] / [[Shelley and Mouse fly through the air]] / Shelley: we're going on a journey, me and my mouse just bein' free / [[Shelley and Mouse swim among fishes in the sky]] / Shelley: swimming with the fishes, laughing with the coral under the sea / [[Shelley and Mouse fly past Ringo Starr (?)]] / Shelley: and this magical thing I've found, a new friend so near to the ground / [[Shelley and Mouse peer from a yellow airplane's portholes]] / Shelley: eating cheese and chewing on books, getting all the envious looks / he's a mouse, he's a mouse that's small... / [[Shelley carries Mouse from the oppressive threat of a Blue Meany's stomping]] / Shelley: we get along even though I'm tall / I'd never squash him under my shoe / (I'll go to prison if I do) / Shelley: Mr Mouse, Stella McCartney and me / eatin' crumpets and drinkin' some tea / forever happy livin' next to a bee.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060222
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley is sleeping]] / Shelley: Mousin'... Mouse / Mouse: Oh Shelley, so trusting... little did you suspect... / <> / Mouse: The Earwig / [[The earwig climbs out of the mouse costume that it has so clevely occupied to this point]] / Earwig: No earwig has ever made it so close to a human before, with your squishing fingers and punishing powders, but the earwig nation watched and waited! / [[The earwig stands in triumph on Shelley's head]] / Earwig: Now at last, the time is right, we shall take command of a human lady! / [[The earwig ponders Shelley's ear]] / Earwig: History shall speak the name Hubert Kropotkin in hushed whispers. The first of a new order! / [[The earwig struggles into Shelley's ear]] / Earwig: Heh heh heh... oh boy oh boy... now this, this is an ear!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060223
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley dreams her little micey dreams]] / Shelley: Mousin.... / Shelley: Mouse.. / Earwig: Oh Shelley, so trusting.. / Earwig: Little did you suspect..<>..THE EARWIG / Earwig: No earwig has ever made it so close to a human before... / Earwig: With your squishing fingers and punishing powders.. / Earwig: But the earwig nation watched and waited.... / Earwig: Now at last, the time is right. / Earwig: We shall take control of a human lady! / Earwig: History shall speak the name Hubert Kropotkin in hushed whispers. / Earwig: The first of a new order! / Earwig: Heh heh heh / Earwig: Oh boy Oh boy / Earwig: Now this, this is an ear!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060223
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley's mind is being taken over by an earwig. We see green-on-black hallucinatory patterns in the background]] / <> / <> <> / [[Shelly appears to grow antennae]] / Shelly: Yes! Victory is mine! / Tech Support Guy: Stop stop stop please stop. / [[Shelly is in the office. A jam sandwich is in her iBook, and she smiles as Tech Support Guy hunches over the doomed iBook. An H&M bag is in the foreground.]] / Tech Support Guy: So the reason you shut a jam sandwich in your laptop is that... / Shelly: I wouldn't expect you to understand, feeble vertebrate. / Tech Support Guy [[exasperated]]: ... an earwig took over your brain. / Shelly: An earwig's ways are cryptical. / [[Shelly looks up and away; she is thinking in the abstract]] / Shelly: We care not for sammich-laptop etiquette. / Shelly: If it's not leaf litter or larva, we don't give a toot. / [[Tech Support Guy looks at Shelley over one of her H&M bags]] / Tech Support Guy: You've managed a lot of shopping for an earwig. / Shelly: Even insects know the value of being a fashionista on an idiot's budget.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060224
Scary Go Round :: Sammich-Laptop Etiquette [[Earwig has climbed into Shelley's ear. She is freaking out, Earwig is fighting for control, background is a menacing cacophony of black and green.]] / Shelley: Gng / Shelley: Blee!! Grr! / Shelley/Earwig: Yes! Victory is mine! / Computerguy's voice: Stop stop stop please STOP. / Computerguy: So the reason you shut a jam sandwich in your laptop is that... AN EARWIG TOOK OVER YOUR BRAIN. / Shelley/Earwig: [[stifling a laugh]] I wouldn't expect you to understand, feeble invertebrate. An earwig's ways are CRYPTICAL. / Shelley/Earwig: We care not for the sammich-laptop etiquette. If it's not leaf litter or larva, we don't give a toot. / Computerguy: You've managed a lot of shopping for an earwig. / Shelley/Earwig: [[peers into an H&M bag]] Even insects know the value of being a fashionista on an idiot's budget.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060224
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Tim: What business today, gentlemen? / Assistant(?): We urgently need to hire a new chief of staff to replace Mr. Rodriguez. / Grimes(?): I suggest appointing from within, Mr. Mayor... ...and direct your attention to the box of pastries I purchased this morning. / Tim: Toadying duly noted, Grimes. I can't believe Hugo left us for a career as a teen-pop svengali. / Ryan: It's not easy bein' the principled guiding light of a new political movement. A week into that job and you'd have found me in a cathouse with a thong on my head. / Tim: OK. Item 2. "Women are just like men who are slightly drunk". / Assistant(?): Think about it! The emotions! The mechanical ineptitude! The gossip! I thought we could put it on posters. It's a campaign for understanding.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060227
Scary Go Round : Toadying Duly Noted Tim: What business today, gentlemen? / Man: We urgently need to hire a new chief of staff to replace Mr Rodriguez. / Grimes: I suggest appointing from within, Mr Mayor... and direct your attention to the box of pastries I purchased this morning. / Tim: Toadying duly noted, Grimes. I can't believe Hugo left us for a career as a teen-pop svengali. / Ryan: It's not easy being the principled guiding light of a new political movement. A week into that job and you'd have found me in a cathouse with a thong on my head. / Tim: OK. Item 2. "Women are just like men who are slightly drunk". / Man: Think about it! The emotions! The mechanical ineptitude! The gossip! I thought we could put it on posters. it's a campaign for UNDERSTANDING.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060227
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Tim and Ryan sift through papers]] / Tim: Paper... Meetings... Paper about meetings... I can't deal with all of this / Ryan: You need an assistant, Tim... Maybe someone who has assisted you in the PAST. / [[Tim and Amy talk at window]] / Tim: Amy, I seem to remember you breaking into my house... Stealing from me... While drunk... / Tim: Stop me before I run out of fingers. / [[Amy points at Tim]] / Amy: I'll Paper-Rock-Scissors you for the job. / Amy: The random factor. Divine justice will decide. / Tim: All right. / [[Amy holds up two fingers in a "v" while Tim holds his hand out flat]] / Amy: YESSSSS / Tim: Noooooo / [[Amy dances triumphantly, surrounded by stars, while Tim looks on in horror and Ryan smiles.]] / Amy: The dream ticket is back together! This is going to be great! / Amy: Running this old town like it should be run. / Tim (to Ryan): Call the fire brigade. / Tim (to Ryan): Tell them to be prepared for a city-wide inferno at any time.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060228
Scary Go Round : Paper-Rock-Scissors Tim: Paper... Meetings... Paper about meetings... I can't deal with all of this / Ryan: You need an assistant, Tim... Maybe someone who has assisted you in the PAST. / Tim: Amy, I seem to remember you breaking into my house... stealing from me... while drunk... Stop me before I run out of fingers. / Amy: I'll paper-rock-scissors you for the job. The random factor. Divine justice will decide. / Tim: All right. / [[Amy draws scissors, Tim draws paper.]] / Amy: YESSSSS / Tim: Noooooo / Amy: The dream ticket is back together! This is going to be great! Running this old town like it should be run. / Tim [[to Ryan]]: Call the fire brigade. Tell them to be prepared for a city-wide inferno at any time.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060228
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Tim, there's a letter here from our twin town in Robotania about our exchange program. / Tim: There's a big red folder marked "suicide", just put it in there. / Tim: File it next to the bargepole that we aren't going to touch anything in the suicide folder with. / Amy: Robotania isn't a communist country any more. Didn't you hear about the chrome revolution? / Tim: Makes no difference. / Tim: When a country is full of crazed killing machines, you don't invite them to visit / Amy: Oh well. That'll encourage them to change. / Amy: Don't you think that if you keep ignoring them, they might get angry? ROBO-DEATH angry? / Tim: I'm hoping the red folder is lucky. / Amy: Oh! Apparently you can see just how lucky this afternoon. The ambassador is visiting from london. Says he'll need a big chair.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060301
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: Tim, there's a letter here from our twin town in Robotania about our exchange program. / Tim Jones: There's a big red folder marked "Suicide", just put it in there. File it next to the bargepole that we aren't going to touch anything in the suicide folder with. / Amy Chilton: Robotania isn't a communist country any more. Didn't you hear about the chrome revolution? / Tim Jones: Makes no difference. / Tim Jones: When a country is full of crazed killing machines, you don't invite them to visit. / Amy Chilton: Oh well. That'll encourage them to change. / Amy Chilton: Don't you think that if you keep ignoring them, they might get angry? Robo-death angry? / I'm hoping the red folder is lucky. / Amy Chilton: Oh! Apparently you can see just how lucky this afternoon. The ambassador is visiting from London. Says he'll need a big chair.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060301
Scary Go Round : Preparing for the Robotania Ambassador Amy: How's it going, Ryan? This looks very... Robots-ish. / [[Ryan is hanging portraits of robots: Marvin, Pintsize, Cybermen(?). Text: YOU ARE AWESOME. WELCOME ROBOTANIAN AMBASSADOR.]] / Ryan: I'm puttin' up pictures of some famous and beloved machines to welcome teh ambassador. / Ryan: There's Metal Mickey... Marvin... Rude Robot Guy... the Cybermen... Big Trak... All the greats! / Amy: Well this is nice... but... weren't the Cybermen cold blooded killers? / Ryan: Well if you were from the planet Cyberman, they were freedom fighters. It's politic'lly complex. / [[Amy spies a trashcan with gloves and a clown nose.]] / Amy: Dusty Bin! Did you make him? / Ryan: Nah, he just turned up. I think he's got family in the old country.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060302
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan hangs up posters of famous robots while Amy watches]] / Amy: How's it going, Ryan? This looks very... robots-ish. / Poster 1: You / Poster 2: Are / Poster 3: Awesome / Poster 4: Welcome Robotanian Ambassador / Ryan: I'm puttin' up pictures of some famous and beloved machines to welcome the ambassador. / Ryan: There's metal Mickey... Marvin... Rude Robot Guy... The Cybermen... Big Trak... All the greats! / Amy: Well this is nice... but... Weren't the cybermen cold blooded killers? / [[Ryan and Amy are joined by a little robot]] / Ryan: Well if you were from the planet cyberman, they were freedom fighters. It's politic'lly complex. / Amy: Dusty Bin! Did you make him? / Ryan: Nah, he just turned up. I think he's got family in the old country.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060302
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Outside of City Hall, Tim Jones and the Ambassador of Robotania meet on the red carpet.]] / Ambassador of Robotania: AH, METAL MICKEY. I AM A BIG FAN. / Tim Jones: Follow Me, Ambassador. / [[They walk into the hall, where Mayor Jones' staff is attired in robot like outfits.]] / Ambassador of Robotania: IT IS A PLEASURE TO RETURN TO TACKLEFORD. YOUR CONCRETE MIXERS ARE AMONG THE MOST BEAUTIFUL IN THE WORLD. / Tim Jones: So Robotnia is free of communism now? / Ambassador of Robotania: YES, WE OPERATE IN THE FREE MARKET LIKE YOU. / / Ambassador of Robotania: BUT ON A SOLID BASE OF PARALYSING CORRUPTION. / Tim Jones: Ah, corruption! The water that turns the big former soviet water wheel. / [[The Ambassador gives the Mayor a look of sadness.]] / Ambassador of Robotania: NO, MAYOR JONES, IT IS TERRIBLE. / Tim Jones: ...Water wheel of death!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060303
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ambassador: Ah, Metal Mickey. I am a big fan. / Mayor Tim Jones: Follow me, ambassador. / Ambassador: It is a pleasure to return to Tackleford. Your concrete mixers are among the most beautiful in the world. / Mayor Tim Jones: So Robotania is free of communism now? / Ambassador: Yes, we operate in the free market like you / Ambassador: But on a solid base of paralysing corruption / Mayor Tim Jones: Ah, corruption! The water that turns the big former Soviet water wheel. / Ambassador: No, Mayor Jones, it is terrible / Mayor Tim Jones: ...water wheel of death!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060303
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Esther and Molly walking around outside. Esther is holding a pamphlet of sorts]] / Esther: St Boves Abbey is the North's premier gothic structure... and was home to monks who groomed bees and shows and... / Molly: Esther, the cool kids are sniffing permanent markers right now. Why are we visiting the decaying rubble of perverted bee fanciers? / Esther: It's important to remember that everything rots eventually. / Molly: The brothers of St. Boves were a Gnostic order who believed God rode everywhere on a cow. Idiots. / Esther: What's got into you, Molly Ringwald? Is your head too light from your haircut? Does it need recalibrating? / Molly: I look weird. / Esther: You look fine. / Molly: The brothers built Europe's largest maze to protect their beehives. Its meant to be impossible to get to the centre. / Esther: Shall we have a go? / Molly: Do me a favour and stop prettending I have a choice.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060306
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Erin is following Esther in a gothic ruin. Esther is reading a pamphlet]] / Esther: St Boves Abbey is the north's premier gothic stracture... ...And was home to monks who groomed bees for shows and... / Erin: Esther, the cool kids are sniffing permanent markers right now. Why are we visiting the decaying rubble of perverted bee fanciers? / Esther: It's important to remember that everything rots eventually. / Erin: The brothers of St Boves were a gnostic order who believed God rode everywhere on a cow. Idiots. / Esther: What's got into you, Molly Ringwald? Is your head too light from your haircut? Does it need recalibrating? / Erin: I look weird. / [[Esther and Erin look at an information display]] / Esther: You look fine. / Erin: The Brothers built Europe's largest maze to protect their beehives. It's meant to be impossible to get to the centre. / Esther: Shall we have a go / Erin: Do me a favour and stop pretending I have a choice.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060306
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Crazy Old Man, Esther, and Erin in front of maze]] / Crazy Old Man: Gerls! Beware ye the maze! At its centre, an unspeakable horror! / Erin: What? What? / Esther: A world without special brew by the sound sound of things. As opposed to a worldwithout soap, because appaently, he lives in that one. / Crazy Old Man: The horror is unspeakable, thus I cannot speak it. If I did, my tounge would turn to ashes! / Erin: Great, great. / Crazy Old Man: The unspeakable... words without scent on camber... / Esther: Enter the maze at your own risk... interesting / Erin: Couldn't we spend half term making zines by cutting out pictures of skinny celebrities? / Esther: The dark one is a constant stalker, Erin, you have to be ready to take a few risks. / Erin: Esther, it's not too late for zines! / Erin: What's that? / Ester: I printed a map of the maze from Google Earth. / Erin: Google is ruining everything.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060307
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Old Man: Gerls! Beware ye the maze! At its centre, an unspeakable horror! / Erin: What? What? / Esther: A world without Special Brew by the sound of things. As opposed to a world without soap, because apparently, he lives in that one. / Old Man: The horror is unspeakable, thus I cannot speak it. If I did, my tongue would turn to ashes! / Esther: [[Off-screen]] Great, great. / Old Man: The unspeakable... words without scent or camber... / [[Reading a 'DANGER' poster]] / Esther: Enter the maze at your own risk... interesting. / Erin: Couldn't we spend half term making zines by cutting out pictures of skinny celebrities? / Esther: The Dark One is a constant stalker, Erin. You have to be ready to take a few risks. / Erin: Esther, it's not too late for zines! / [[Esther unfolds a large piece of paper.]] / Erin: What's that? / Esther: I printed a map of the maze from Google Earth. / Erin: Google is ruining everything.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060307
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Esther is reading a map. Erin is looking over her sholder]] Esther: Well, the centre should be right round the corner... That was easy! / Erin: Yes, it's easy when you cheat using the internet. / Esther: And I suppose we cheat when we take the bus, because cavemen didn't have wheels. / Erin: No, Lady Literal. / [[They have come to the end of their journey]] Erin: I'm just worried that the human race will get so lazy that it can't do anything. / Esther: So in a generation or two, people will be legless balloons? / With mobile phones grafted onto their ears? / Eating MP3s instead of food? Giving birth via bluetooth? / Erin: Ha ha! University admissions will be based on the length of your myspace friends list. / Minotaur: Gruff Gruff Gruff / Erin: Hee hee yeah! Gruff gruff...gruff?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060308
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Erin and Esther explore a maze. Esther has a compass and map in hand]] / Esther: Well, the centre should be right round the corner... That was easy! / Erin: Yes, it's easy when you cheat using the internet. / Esther: And I suppose we cheat when we take the bus, because cavemen didn't have wheels. / Erin: No, lady literal. / Erin: I'm just worried that the human race will get so lazy that it can't do anything. / Esther: So in a generation or two, people will be legless balloons? With mobile phones grafted onto their ears / [[Esther has a thought bubble showing a fat man with a phone grafted to his ear.]] / Fat man's shirt: THE BENSONS / [[An angry looking minotaur stands behind Erin while she listens to Esther's vision of the future]] / Esther: Eating MP3s instead of food? Giving birth via bluetooth? / Erin: Ha ha! University admissions will be based on the length of your myspace friends list / Minotaur: Gruff gruff gruff / Erin: Hee hee yeah! Gruff gruff... gruff?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060308
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Erin, Minotaur, and Ester in the maze]] / Minotaur: Brahhhhh! / Erin: What do we do, what do we do? We loosed the minotaur! We're going to be in so much trouble! / Esther: Calm down, Erin! You can't be arrested for things that are too weird for there to be laws about! / Esther: Why's he looking at me like that? / Erin: You're the first lady he's ever seen, he's captivated! The minotaus is a sensitive soul, we can't leave him to fend for himself. / Esther: We could hide him in the barns near your house... until... / Erin: Until inevitable disaster strikes and he eats my dad? / Esther: He probably only eats grass. / Erin: Ahem. My, what a curiously shaped pebble.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060309
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Erin: What do we do, what do we do? We loosed the minotaur! We're going to be in so much trouble! / Minotaur: BRAHHHH / Esther: Calm down Erin! You can't be arrested for things that are too weird for there to be laws about! / [[Minotaur gazes at Esther]] / Esther: Why's he looking at me like that? / Erin: You're the first lady he's ever seen, he's captivated! The minotaur is a sensitive soul, we can't leave him to fend for himself. / Esther: We could hide him in the barns near your house... until... / Erin: Until inevitable disaster strikes and he eats my dad? / Esther: He probably only eats grass. / [[Erin holds up a skull.]] / Erin: Ahem. My, what a curiously shaped pebble.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060309
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Esther: Oh. That poor minotaur. / What place is there for him in the world? / <> / Erin: Well, he's pretty muscly. He could be a... boxer. / Esther: Oh. That's nice. You want to line this poor tormented creature up to get punched? / Cold, Erin. Ice cold. / Erin: I just thought he could make himself a few quid! / Then buy a dairy Fresian and settle down. / Esther:Oh. That's nice. A girlfriend with one giant saggy boob who goes to the toilet anywhere she likes. / Three stomachs, no manners-- / Erin: You can consider that point made now, Esther.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060310
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Esther waits outside a barn as Erin opens the door from the inside. The minotaur is inside the barn (out of view)]] / Esther: Oh, that poor minotaur. What place is there for him in the world? / Minotaur: GRAWWWWW / Erin: Well, he's pretty muscly. He could be a boxer. / Esther: Oh, that's nice. You want to line this poor tormented creature up to get punched? Cold, Erin, ice cold. / [[Erin locks the door to the barn]] / Erin: I just thought he could make himself a few quids! Then buy a dairy fresian and settle down. / Esther: Oh, that's nice. A girlfriend with one giant saggy boob who goes to the toilet anywhere she likes. Three stomachs, no manners- / Erin: You can consider that point made now, Esther.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060310
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [text] / Wednesday 1st March / St. Botulism's Day (Fr) / Dear Diary, / an interesting day. / libarated a beast / hidden in a maze / to a new life / hidden in a barn! / Esther: What were we thinking? What... Were... We... Thinking? / [mobile phone ring tone] / Mobile Phone: hey now, hey now now- / Esther: Hello, Erin? / Erin: What were we thinking? We let a minotaur loose! It'll eat someone! AIIIIIIIEEE! / Ester: Erin, you need to calm down. We'll call pest control in the morning, pretend we caught it stealing hay bales. / Erin: What if it gets out in the night? What if it eats war veterans or little babies? / Esther: Listen, he's 7ft tall, nude and terrifying. We can claim coercion, temporary insanity, or just misguided girlish high spirts.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060313
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Esther writes in her dairyl]] / Dairy header: Wednesday 1st March st. Botutism's Day (Fr) / Dairy entry: Dear Dairy, an interesting day. Liberated a beast hidden in a maze to a new life hidden in a barn! / [[Esther looks doubfounded as her cell phone rings]] / Esther: What were we thinking? What... were... we... thinking? / Phone: hey now, hey now now- / [[Esther answers the phone, Erin is the one calling]] / Esther: Hello, Erin? / Erin: What were we thinking? We let a minotaur loose! It'll eat someone! AIIIIIIIEEE! / [[Erin on her phone]] / Esther: Erin, you need to calm down. We'll call pest control in the morning, pretend we caught it stealing hay bales. / Erin: What if it gets out in the night? What if it eats war veterans or little babies? / [[Esther sitting on her bed still holding her phone]] / Esther: Listen, he's 7ft tall, nude and terrifying. We can claim coercion, temporary instanity, or just misguided girlish high spirits.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060313
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelly: Well, thank you for the lift home, Mike. You really didn't have to cover the council meeting with me. / Mike: It was my pleasure. Like to keep my hand in, you know. The old muck bullets. / Shelly: Well I think the girls in the office gave a very poor impression of you. / Mike: Oh, and what was that? / Shelly: They said you were only interested in doorstepping the recently bereaved, and taking the clothes off ladies! I think they were joking! / Mike: Ha-ha. / Mike: So can I come in for a cup of tea? We can... compare notes. / Shelly: Well, normally you could. But Wednesday's my dad's horsewhippin' night. I couldn't tell him not to horsewhip you real good. He'd spend the rest of the week cranky.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060314
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Well, thank you for the lift home, Mike. You really didn't have to cover the council meeting with me. / Mike: It was my pleasure. Like to keep my hand in, you know. The old muck and bullets. / Shelley Winters: Well I think the girls in the office gave a very poor impression of you. / Mike: Oh, and what was that? / Shelley Winters: They said you were only interested in doorstepping the recently bereaved, and taking the clothes off ladies! I think they were joking! / Mike: Ha-ha. / Mike: Can I come in for a cup of tea? We can... compare notes. / Shelley Winters: Well, normally you could. But Wednesday's my dad's horsewhippin' night. I couldn't tell him not to horsewhip you real good. He'd spend the rest of the week cranky.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060314
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Mike drives down the road]] / Mike: "Daddy'll horsewhip you". Tupping tease. I'm tired of working on this podunk, pissant local paper. / Mike: Why can't I get the break that'd take me onto the nationals? It's not like I haven't comforted enough widows and- / <> / [[Mike gets out of his car]] / Mike: AGGG! Four wasted hours in a council meeting with no Shelley action and now this- / [[Mike digs through the trunk of the car]] / Mike: Stupid ****ing farmers and their stupid ****ing tracks covered in stupid... STUPID ****ING FLAT SPARE! / [[Mike rubs his head with flashlight in hand. I the background a voice comes from a barn]] / Voice: GRRF GRRFF. / Mike: What's that noise? / Void: SNUFF GARRRR / [[Mike peeks through the door crack in the barn. Through it he can see a brown beast holding a worm]] / Mike: Je-sus. That's either a very buff cow, a very ugly farmhand... ... or a genetic pro-wrestling experiment gone wrong. / Worm: !!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060315
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mike: "Daddy'll horsewhip you". Tupping tease. I'm tired of working on this podunk, pissant local paper. / Mike: Why can't I get the break that'd take me onto the nationals? It's not like I haven't comforted enough widows and-- / <> / Mike: Aggg! Four wasted hours in a council meeting with no shelly action and now this-- / Mike: Stupid --ing farmers and their stupid --ing tracks covered in stupid . . . Stupid --ing flat spare! / {{inhuman noise}} Grrf. Grrff. / Mike: What's that noise? / {{inhuman noise}} Snuff. Garrrr. / Mike: Je-sus. That's either a very buff cow, a very ugly farmhand . . . or a genetic experiment gone wrong. / Small Earthworm: !!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060315
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Oh boys, when will you learn that I'm too classy for common flattery. / Shelley Winters demands a better box of bon-bons. / Mike: Huf puf / Shelley: Mike, I made it pretty plain that you have no chance of seeing me in my smalls, so... / Mike: M-m-m-m-MINOTAUR! / Shelley: Holy smoke, you're even barmier than I am! / Mike: Shelley, out... in the barns... there's something horrible / Shelley: This had better not be a romantical ruse. I'm hip to man-tricks. / Mike: No, I'm serious. It's half man, half bull... all naked! / Erin: Oh no... / Shelley: Augh! We ought to check it out. This smells like news. / Shelley: How about this headline: "Man-bull startles locals with refusal to cover up" / Mike: So long as it isn't "Local reporters mangled beyond recognition".
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060316
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley makes a sandwich in her kitchen]] / Shelley: Oh boys, when will you learn that I'm too classy for common flattery. Shelley Winters demands a better box of bon-bons. / [[Shelley opens the door to find Mike dumbfounded]] / Mike: Huf puf / Shelley: Mike, I made it pretty plain that you have no chance of seeing me in my smalls, so... / [[Shelley eats her sandwich as Mike freaks out]] / Mike: M-M-M-M-MINOTAUR! / Shelley: Holy smoke, you're even barmier than I am! / Mike: Shelley, out... in the barns... there's something horrible / Shelley: This had better not be a romantical ruse. I'm hip to man-tricks. / [[Erin looks down at the situation from the top of the stairs]] / Mike: So I'm serious. It's half man, half bull... all naked! / Erin: Oh no... / Shelley: Augh! We ought to check it out. This smells like news. / [[Shelley puts on her coat while Mike waits on her]] / Shelley: How about this headline: "man-bull startles locals with refusal to cover up" / Mike: So long as it isn't "local reporters mangled beyond recognition".
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060316
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley peeks through the barn door]] / Shelley: Y-you were right! That is a minotaur! What do we do? / Shelley: Call the Army? Call the A-Team? / [[Mike waves his arms like a gangsta. Shelley is perturbed.]] / Mike: If we call the Army, they'll hush it up. We have have to print the story first. / Shelley: But that's a dangerous beast, and very near to my family. / [[Mike slouches away. Shelley watches the minotaur stare balefully at a bale (of hay)]] / Mike: I'll get my camera out of the car, we'll get some shots then call for help. / Shelley: Where does a minotaur come from? / Shelley: Is it what happens when a lady eats a beef sandwich immediately after doin' it? / [[Shelley, deep in thought, strokes her chin.]] / Shelley: That's the sort of thing there should be public information films about. / [[A clip from a hypothetical black and white public information film. A woman is in bed with a dapper looking fellow. They're both smoking, and she is eating a beef sandwich. An arrow is pointing at it.]] / Narrator: Madam, stop! / Tagline: Think once, think twice: think about having a nice cup of tea instead. British Minotaur Birth Council
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060317
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelly: Y-you were right! That is a minotaur! What do we do? Call the army? Call the A-Team? / Mike: If we call the army, they'll hush it up. We have to print the story first. / Shelly: But that's a dangerous beast, and very near to my family. / Mike: I'll get my camera out of the car. We'll get some shots then call for help. / Shelly: Where does a minotaur come from? Is it what happens when a lady eats a beef sandwich immediately after doin' it? / Shelly: That's the sort of thing there should be public information films about. / [[black&white film, man and woman in a bed, post-coitus, her with sandwich, him with cigarette; voice coming from off-screen/out-of-frame; text along bottom of frame]] / Voice: Madam, stop! / Text: Think once, think twice: think about having a nice cup of tea instead. / Text2: British Minotaur Birth Council
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060317
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley and Mike standing in front of a minotaur in a black and white newspaper photograph]] / MINOTAUR FOUND IN BARN / Vast beast "soft as snow but warm inside" say locals / by Shelley Winters & Mike Savage / A seven foot creature was discovered in a Flag Fold barn belonging to builder Ed Winters on Wednesday night. / The animal, apparently a hybrid of cow and man, was taken away by the RSPCA for examination, b ut released when they were unable to discern exactly what it was. / CUP OF TEA / Mr Winters, who has owned the property since 1984, has no knowledge of the minotaur. "I can only assume that the government now has so many failed mutant 'super-soldiers' that they've been forced to re-house them on public property. If they'd told me, I could have taken him a cup of tea." / [[picture of minotaur wearing a t-shirt with the slogan 'MATCHES CAN KILL' with three children in a black and white newspaper photograph style]] / MINOTAUR VISIT DELIGHTS INFANTS / Fire safety message brought home by horned monolith / by Shelley Winters / Children at St Eric's RC Primary received a very important message today from a very special visitor. / The Tackleford minotaur is visiting area schools to promote fire-awareness in the home. Accompanied on guitar by fire chief Vince Pepper, the children were treated to a series of flame-averse songs, along with the gluttural lowing of the bovine homunculus. / Poster competition winner Kylie Blake, 7, seemed to enjoy the visit from the gentle giant. "He was very nice. I thought he would smell funny but he didn't. He smelled of shampoo. He did a wee in the corner of the hall and we all laughed." Kylie's slogan "Fire Is Frightening" will be used on flyers in schools throughout the region. / Teacher Kirsty Benson said the day had been a big success. "I think the children learned a lot about fire, and minotaurs." / [[Another newspaper story, with Shelley typing on her laptop next to it.]] / WHERE'S THE BEEF? / The minotaur's got it! / by Shelley Winters / There was a big surprise for residents of Bunty Hall Sheltered Housing today, when their "meals on wheels" were delivered by an altogether beefier character. / Today's specials were mince and dumplings, horseradish soup, and a minotaur! The initial mixture of curiosity and cardiac incidents soon turned an old fashioned sing song and a big thumbs up for the beloved beef-boy. / "He reminded me of my Ernie when he came back from the war," said Glenda Rennie, 83. "Full of muscles but absolutely nothing to say for himself." / Following a brief incident where the minotaur was startled by a decorative plate depicting the late Princess Diana, order was restored and a swift bridge of rubber was organised. Then it was back home for the mythical monster and off to bed for the [[newspaper cuts off here]] / Shelley: I don't want to write any more minotaur stories. / Shelley: Someone find me a sassy gorgon. / Shelley: Failing that, a swordfighting skellington with a tale to tell.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060320
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[First newspaper extract]] / Headline: MINOTAUR FOUND IN BARN / Subtitle: Vast beast "soft as snow but warm inside" say locals / [[Picture: Mike Savage (Shocked), Minotaur (Confused), Shelley (Grinning)]] / Article: by Shelley Winters & Mike Savage / A seven-foot creature was discovered in a Flag Fold barn belonging to builder Ed Winters on wednesday night. / The animal, apparently a hybrid of cow and man, was taken away by the RSPCA for examination, but released when they were unable to discern exactly what it was. / CUP OF TEA / Mr Winters, who has owned the property since 1984, had no knowledge of the minotaur. "I can only assume that the government now has so many failed mutant 'super-soldiers' that they've been forced to re-house them on public property. If they'd told me, I could have taken him a cup of tea." / [[Second newspaper extract]] / Headline: MINOTAUR VISIT DELIGHTS INFANTS / Subtitle: Fire safety message brought home by horned monolith / Article: by Shelley Winters / Children at St Eric's RC Primary received a very important message today from a very special visitor. / The Tackleford minotaur is visiting area schools to promote fire-awareness in the home. Accompanied on guitar by fire chief Vince Pepper, the children were treated to a series of flame-averse songs, along with the guttural lowing of the bovine homunculous. / Poster competition winner Kylie Blake, 7, seemed to enjoy the visit from the gentle giant. "He was very nice, I thought he would smell funny but he didn't. He smelled of shampoo. He did a wee in the corner of the hall and we all laughed." Kylie's slogan, "Fire Is Frightening" will be used on flyers in schools throughout the region. / Teacher Kirsty Benson said the day had been a big success. "I think the children learned a lot about fire, and minotaurs." / [[Picture: A stern but gentle minotaur, sporting a "Matches can KILL" t-shirt, is surrounded by three school children]] / [[Third newspaper extract]] / Headline: WHERE'S THE BEEF? / Subtitle: The minotaur's got it! / Article: by Shelley Winters / There was a big surprise for residents of Bunty Hall Sheltered Housing today, when their "meals on wheels" were delivered by an altogether beefier character. / Today's specials were mince and dumplings, horseradish soup, and a minotaur! The initial mixture of curiosity and cardiac incidents soon turned into a an old-fashioned sing song and a big thumbs up for the beloved beef-boy. / "He reminded me of my Ernie when he came back from the war," said Glenda Rennie, 83. "Full of muscles but absolutely nothing to say for himself." / Following a brief incident where the minotaur was startled by a decorative plate depicting the late Princess Diana, order was restored and a swift bridge rubber was organised. Then i was back home for the mythic monster and off to bed for / [[Shelley is seated, tapping away at her white laptop.]] / Shelley: I don't want to write any more minotaur stories. / Shelley: Someone find me a sassy gorgon. / Shelley: Failing that, a swordfighting skellington with a tale to tell.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060320
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Mayor Tim, Amy and Mayoral Aide are standing in Tim's office]] / Amy: Tim, great news. The "minotaur effect" is giving you your best poll numbers all year / Aide: 71% of people like the way you've forged bonds with mythical beasts. / Aide {{flicking through papers}}: There's a trickle-down effect. 11% want to see a Kraken on the council. / Of those, 94% would not object to filling City Hall with salt water. / Tim: Amy, can you tell me for certain that this isn't going to backfire? / Amy: Oh, it'll probably backfire! / Amy: The minotaur's like one of those dogs who's "like a lamb with kids"... / ... until it bites off a pre-schooler's arm. / I've got a couple of people working on a "Minotaurs... who knew?" campaign. / Tim {{head in hands}}: We should start an office sweep on how many of us will have to go to jail.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060321
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy Chilton: Tim, great news. The "minotaur effect" is giving you your best poll numbers all year. / Advisor: 71% of people like the way you've forged bonds with mythical beasts. / Advisor: There's a trickle-down effect. 11% want to see a kraken on the council. Of those, 94% would not object to filling City Hall with salt water. / Tim Jones: Amy, can you tell me for certain that this isn't going to backfire? / Amy Chilton: Oh, it'll probably backfire! / Amy Chilton: The minotaur's like one of those dogs who's "like a lamb with kids"... ...until it bites off a pre-schooler's arm. I've got a couple of people working on a "Minotaurs...who knew?" campaign. / Tim Jones: We should start an office sweep on how many of us will have to go to jail.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060321
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: We find ourselves with a thorny problem, people. / Amy: We all know that the Minotaur is going to go buck wild any day now. / Guy: But people love the Minotaur... and they love us! / The other guy: Maybe we could make it... disappear. / Guy: How? / Other guy: Um... paint it the same colour as the background? / Amy: I have an idea, one that would kill two birds with one stone. You might not like it though. If you're not a fan of fiendish genius. (next panel) Hello, Ambassador, lovely to see you again. / Ambassador: And you, Amy Chilton. This is my assistant, Yuri. / Yuri: Kapa kapa. / Ambassador: His specification is pathetic but he is one funny son-of-bitch.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060322
Scary Go Round 20060322 Tim: We find ourselves with a thorny problem, people. / Amy: We all know that the Minotaur is going to go buck wild any day now. / Advisor 1: But people love the Minotaur... and they love us! / Grimes (Advisor 2): Maybe we could make it... disappear. / Advisor 1: How? / Grimes (Advisor 2): Um... paint it the same colour as the background? / Amy: I have an idea, one that would kill two birds with one stone. You might not like it though. If you're not a fan of fiendish genius. / Amy: Hello Ambassador, lovely to see you again. / Ambassador Red Robot: And you, Amy Chilton. This is my assistant, Yuri. His specification is pathetic but he is one funny son-of-a-bitch / Yuri: KAPA KAPA
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060322
Scary Go Round 20060322 Tim: We find ourselves with a thorny problem, people. / Amy: We all know that the Minotaur is going to go buck wild any day now. / Advisor 1: But people love the Minotaur... and they love us! / Grimes (Advisor 2): Maybe we could make it... disappear. / Advisor 1: How? / Grimes (Advisor 2): Um... paint it the same colour as the background? / Amy: I have an idea, one that would kill two birds with one stone. You might not like it though. If you're not a fan of fiendish genius. / Amy: Hello Ambassador, lovely to see you again. / Ambassador Red Robot: And you, Amy Chilton. This is my assistant, Yuri. His specification is pathetic but he is one funny son-of-a-bitch / Yuri: KAPA KAPA
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060322
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Mr. Ambassador, I'd like to introduce you to our most tireless public servant, the minotaur. / Ambassador: I have heard of this beast. Word has it he removes grafitti and helps young mums. / {{background: RED RED RED ...}} / Minotaur: GROONNNNNNK / Ambassador: This is worrying. I have concerns. / [[minotaur lunging towards robot ambassador]] / Ambassador: Alert alert! / [[robot ambassador uses eye beams on minotaur, now on fire]] / {{cascading menus along bottom of frame}} / menu1: / >Launching {{selected}} / Emergency / Countermeasures / menu2: / Warning / Diplomatic Crisis / >Help? {{selected}} / menu3: / !Suggest "Peace Barbecue". {{selected}}
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060323
 

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