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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Newspaper article]]
/ TWIN TOWN REP CHARGRILLS OUR LOCAL HERO
/ Minotaur no more; candle-lit vigil enters it's second meaningless day
/ by Mike Savage
/ People are gathering across Tackleford to mourn the passing of the town minotaur in what town officials describe as an "international incident"
/ A meeting between representatives of Tackleford's twin town Mechacropolis-X and the cow man ended in tragedy when a "misunderstanding" led to a confontation and shots being fired. Despite heroic measures by a team of skilled veterinarians, it proved impossible to restart what remained of the creature's heart.
/ Mayor's assistant Amy Chilton insisted that the minotaur would not be forgotten. "Despite the awful and wholly unanticipated events that occured today, we shouldn't forget that the minotaur made a lot of people very happy. Unfortunately he made the Robotanian ambassador very unhappy. And for the last fleeting seconds of his life, he was probably extremely unhappy too. But I'm sure he'd be happy knowing that he made us happy. We all ought to remember that, and try not to be too sad."
/ Ambassador Red Robot issued a brief statement: "following the unfortunate death of Tackleford's best-loved animal man, it is best that the short but pleasant union between our towns comes to an immediate end. Kapa kapa."
/ And there was (continues over)
/ [[Two black and white pictures follow: one of Red Robot looking upset and one of the minotaur, dead on a blood splattered floor]] / Esther: Wow, so ends a sorry chapter.
/ Erin: Esther, this was our fault. We let the minotaur out. / [[Esther holds a paper with a massive headline saying 'WHY?' on the back.]]
/ Esther: We didn't torch it with our laser eyes!
/ Erin: We might as well have. Poor, poor creature. / Esther: Come on, Erin, cheer up. These things happen.
/ Esther: Just... not that often. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060324 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | TWIN TOWN REP CHARGRILLS OUR LOCAL HERO
/ Minotaur no more; candle-lit vigil enters its second meaningless day
/ by Mike Savage / People are gathering across Tackleford to mourn the passing of the town minotaur in what town officials describe as an "international incident."
/ A meeting between representatives of Tackleford's twin town Mechacropolis-X and the cow-man ended in tragedy when a "misunderstanding" led to a confrontation and shots being fired. Despite heroic measures by a team of skilled veterinarians, it proved impossible to restart what remained of the creature's heart.
/ Mayor's assistant Amy Chilton insisted that the minotaur would not be forgotten. "Despite the auwful and wholly unanticipated events that occured today, we shouldn't forget that the minotaur made a lot of people very happy. Unfortunately he made the Robotanian ambassador very unhappy. And for the last fleeting seconds of his life, he was probably extremely unhappy too. But I'm sure he'd be happy knowing that he mad us happy. We all ought to remember that, and try not to be too sad."
/ Ambassador Red Robot issued a brief statement: "following the unfortunate death of Tackleford's best-loved animal man, it is best that the short but pleasant union between our towns comes to an immediate end. Kapa kapa."
/ There was also (continues over) / Esther: Wow, so ends a sorry chapter.
/ Erin: Esther, this was all our fault. We let the minotaur out. / Esther: We didn't torch it with our laser eyes!
/ Erin: We might as well have. Poor, poor creature. / Esther: Come on, Erin, cheer up. These things happen. Just... not that often. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060324 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Oh moon, oh troublesome orb. Staring at the Earth with envious eye. Wishin' it was wet, for it's parlously dry. / Ryan: Shelley, what's your problem with the moon?
/ Amy: She's obsessed with it. / Amy: When we shared a house, many was the night that Shelley would draw the curtains on her circular foe. / Ryan: The moon's been in the Earth's orbit for a long time and it ain't done nothin'. Give that ol' circle the benefit of the doubt. / Shelley: I'd like to believe its intentions are pure. But only scientists can prove that the moon isn't the Earth's stalker. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060327 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley sits at her window, gazing solemnly out at the moon.]]
/ Shelley: Oh moon, oh troublesome orb.
/ Shelley: Staring at the earth with envious eye.
/ Shelley: Wishin' it was wet, for it's parlously dry. / [[Ryan and Amy are sitting on a couch, inside.]]
/ Ryan: Shelley, what's your problem with the moon?
/ Amy: She's obsessed with it. / [[Amy hugs Shelley over by the window.]]
/ Amy: When we shared a house, many was the night that Shelley would draw the curtains on her circular foe. / [[We return to Ryan, who is reading a magazine titled SCAMP CHIKUS.]]
/ Ryan: The moon's been in the Earth's orbit for a long time and it ain't done nothin'.
/ Ryan: Give that ol' circle the benefit of the doubt! / [[Shelley speaks, with the full moon rising behind her]]
/ Shelley: I'd like to believe its intentions are pure.
/ Shelley: But only scientists can prove that the moon isn't Earth's stalker. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060327 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ernest approaches Shelley at the bar.]]
/ Ernest: Heard ye talkin of the moon, young lady. T'has allus been a fascination of mine.
/ Shelley: _Really?_ / [[Shelley faces him, clutching a trio of empty bottles.]]
/ Ernest: Aye. The sailor is dogged by that globe all night while at sea.
/ Ernest: Would ye like to see m'telescope? / [[Shelley turns as they leave the bar.]]
/ Shelley: Is that an innuendo left over from the 1960s?
/ Ernest: No, lass, no. / [[Ernest stops, hands on hips.]]
/ Ernest: 'Tis a special tube for looking at far-off things.
/ [[Shelley beams.]]
/ Shelley: Then I'd like to see it very much! / [[Later, Amy sings as she and Shelley chat on the couch.]]
/ Amy: Bluuue mooon... You left me standing alone...
/ Amy: ...Then broke in when I was out... And tried on all of my clothes
/ Shelley: Don't mock the moon! Lunar retribution will be swift and calamitous.
/ {{Lunar retribution is depicted.}}
/ Shelley: Earth will resemble a big figure eight. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060328 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[At the bar]]
/ Old Sailor: Heard ye talkin of the moon, young lady. T'has allus been a fascination of mine.
/ Shelley: Really? / Old Sailor: Aye. The sailor is dogged by that globe all night while at sea.
/ Old Sailor: Would ye like to see m'telescope? / Shelley: [[winking]] Is that an innuendo left over from the 1960s?
/ Old Sailor: No, lass, no. / Old Sailor: 'Tis a special tube for looking at far-off things.
/ Shelley: Then I'd like to see it very much! / Amy: [[singing]] Bluuue mooon... You left me standing alone...
/ Amy: [[singing]] ...Then broke in when I was out... And tried on all of my clothes
/ Shelley: Don't mock the moon! Lunar retribution will be swift and calamitous.
/ Shelley: Earth will resemble a big figure eight. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060328 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley leans over Mike's desk as he types wearily.]]
/ Shelley: Mike, Mike, I've done it. I've made the discovery that'll catapult us into the big leagues.
/ Mike: Really? / [[Back at Shelley's desk.]]
/ Shelley: I've decoded one of the mysteries of the ancient world.
/ Shelley: You might want to steady yourself before I show you. / [[Onscreen: Photoshop, with images of the Easter Island moai and Stonehenge. She drags a Stonehenge trilithon over onto a moai, just beneath its nose. It makes a dandy mustache.]]
/ Shelley: Do you see? Do you see?
/ Shelley: The legends, the legends are true! / [[Shelley gazes at the screen contentedly. Behind her, Mike stalks off.]]
/ Shelley: Call the guy who wrote photoshop. His work here on earth is _done_.
/ Shelley: Mike? / [[She leans back in her chair, crossly.]]
/ Shelley: I wonder how da Vinci dealt with withering indifference.
/ Shelley: Prob'ly just invented another helicopter. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060329 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[At the office]]
/ Shelley: Mike, Mike, I've done it. I've made the discovery that'll catapult us into the big leagues.
/ Mike: Really? / Shelley: I've decoded one of the mysteries of the ancient world.
/ Shelley: You might want to steady yourself before I show you. / [[Using images on her computer screen, Shelley drags a trio of Stonehenge stones onto the face of an Easter Island statue, forming a moustache.]]
/ Shelley: Do you see? Do you see?
/ Shelley: The legends, the legends are true! / [[Edge of Mike's body is seen departing the panel]]
/ Shelley: Call the guy who wrote Photoshop. His work here on Earth is done.
/ Shelley: Mike? / Shelley: I wonder how Da Vinci dealt with withering indifference.
/ Shelley: Prob'ly just invented another helicopter. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060329 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: [[Peering through telescope]] Now I look at it, the moon seems peaceful.
/ Shelley: I can't see any evidence of malevolent space-plans.
/ Old Sailor: The moon keeps its secrets well, young lady. / Old Sailor: But one night as I stared at its surface, I swear I saw moon men.
/ Shelley: Ernest, I'm excitable but I'm not an idiot. / Old Sailor: Arr, I thought I felt lunacy's icy fingers about m'temples...
/ Old Sailor: ...But then I discovered... / Old Sailor: THE INTERNET!
/ Shelley: Incontrovertible proof from unimpeachable academic sources! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060330 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Looking through a telescope]]
/ Shelley: Now I look at it, the moon seems so peaceful. I can't see any evidence of malevolent space plans.
/ Ernest: The moon keeps its secrets well, young lady. / Ernest: But one night as I stared at its surface, I swear I saw moon men.
/ Shelley: Ernest, I'm excitable but not an idiot. Astronaut would have told us about moon-men. / Ernest: Arr. I thought I felt lunacy's icy fingers about m'templtes...
/ Ernest: ...but then I discovered... / Ernest:The Internet!
/ Shelley: Incontrovertible proof from inimpeachable academic sources! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060330 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: ...I say chase your dream, Shel. If that means maybe getting into NASA or inventin' moon glider, than [sic] so be it.
/ Shelly: Yes... yes... moon gliders... hmm...
/ Amy: Hmm yes yes or you could ride a lollipop to Jupiter. You blithering fool. / Amy: Should we be encouraging her?
/ Ryan: Hell, Amy, everyone gets on a crazy kick sometimes. / Ryan: You just gotta pursue that obsession until you bottom out and get sick of the whole deal.
/ Amy: Well, I suppose. And what was your obsession? / [[night, elsewhere, elsetimes]]
/ Ralph: Now Ryan, boy, are you sure about this? There are men in there who, once they start, will not stop. Bad, bad men.
/ Ryan: Well, my heart is poundin' like a train, which is a good sign, right? It's tellin' me to get on with something that is a very good idea. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060331 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: ...I say chase your dream, Shel.
/ Ryan: If that means maybe getting into NASA or inventin' a moon glider than so be it.
/ Shelly: Yes... Yes... Moon gliders... Hmm...
/ Amy: Hmm yes yes or you could ride a lollipop to Jupiter. You blithering fool. / Amy: Should we be encouraging her?
/ Ryan: Hell, Amy, everyone gets on a crazy kick sometimes. / Ryan: You just gotta pursue that obsession until you bottom out and get sick of the whole deal.
/ Amy: Well I suppose. And what was your obsession? / [[Mysterious looking alley. Moonlight.]]
/ Ralph: Now Ryan, boy, are you sure about this?
/ Ralph: There are men in there who once, they start, will not stop.
/ Ralph: Bad, bad men.
/ Ryan: Well my heart is pounding' like a train, which is a good sign, riight?
/ Ryan: It's tellin' me to get on with something that is a very good idea. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060331 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Receptionist: Good evening and welcome to Eisegesis, sir, how may I help you?
/ Ryan: I'm here for some super-nat'ral assistance with matters of a life after death nature. / Receptionist: Just fill out the form, sir. Someone will be with you in a few minutes.
/ Ryan: Oh OK, OK. / Ryan: Man, Ralph, it's real professional lookin' in here.
/ Ryan: I guess the supernatural sector got their act together. / Ryan: I was expecting a couple of dudes stripped to the waist, moanin' and...this pen don't work.
/ Ralph: You use it to write in blood, boy.
/ Ralph: Jab it in yer finger. / Ryan: What if it ain't clean?
/ Ryan: If I get up on your shoulders, maybe I'll be high enough to get a nosebleed. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060403 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Vella: GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO EISEGESIS, SIR, HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
/ Ryan: I'M HERE FOR SOME SUPER-NAT'RAL ASSISTANCE WITH MATTERS OF A LIFE AFTER DEATH NATURE. / Vella: JUST FILL OUT THE FORM, SIR. SOMEONE WILL BE WITH YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.
/ Ryan: OH OK, OK. / Ryan: MAN, RALPH, IT'S REAL PROFESSIONAL LOOKIN' IN HERE.
/ Ryan: I GUESS THE SUPERNATURAL SECTOR GOT THEIR ACT TOGETHER. / Ryan: I WAS EXPECTING A COUPLE OF DUDES STRIPPED DOWN TO THE WAIST, MOANIN' AND... THIS PEN DON'T WORK.
/ Ralph: YOU USE IT TO WRITE IN BLOOD, BOY.
/ Ralph: JAB IT IN YER FINGER. / Ryan: WHAT IF IT AIN'T CLEAN?
/ Ryan: IF I GET UP ON YOUR SHOULDERS, MAYBE I'LL BE HIGH ENOUGH TO GET A NOSEBLLED. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060403 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ian: Hello, Ryan, I'm Ian, your independent necromatical advisor. Would you like to come through? / Ian: So how can I help?
/ Ryan: I guess I'll just lay it all on the line. / Ryan: I was with a sweet lady name of Natalie. It was good times. Smiles, laughs, etc. Balloons! / Ryan: But then my crazy landlady paid and orang-utan to blow her up in her caravan.
/ Orang-utan: Cheep cheep!
/ Ryan: The low morals of the filthy ape, see? / Ian: Ryan, you'd be surprised by just how common this is. Do you require a ritual monkey burning? We can do that.
/ Ryan No. No! I just want to know that my poor gal is peaceful beyond the veil. You don't gotta immolate a baboon on my account. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060404 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ian: HELLO RYAN, I'M IAN, YOUR INDEPENDENT NECROMATICAL ADVISOR.
/ Ian: WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME THROUGH? / Ian: SO HOW CAN I HELP?
/ Ryan: I GUESS I'LL JUST LAY IT ALL ON THE LINE. / Ryan (narrating): I WAS WITH A SWEET LADY NAME OF NATALIE. IT WAS GOOD TIMES.
/ Ryan (narrating): SMILES, LAUGHS, ETC.
/ Ryan (narrating): BALLOONS! / Ryan (narrating): BUT THEN MY CRAZY LANDLADY PAID AN ORANG-UTAN TO BLOW HER UP IN HER CARAVAN.
/ Orangutan: CHEEP CHEEP!
/ Ryan (narrating): THE LOW MORALS OF THE FILTHY APE, SEE? / Ian: RYAN, YOU'D BE SURPRISED BY JUST HOW COMMON THIS IS.
/ Ian: DO YOU REQUIRE A RITUAL MONKEY BURNING? WE CAN DO THAT.
/ Ryan: NO. NO! I JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT MY POOR GAL IS PEACEFUL BEYOND THE VEIL.
/ Ryan: YOU DON'T GOTTA IMMOLATE A BABOON ON MY ACCOUNT. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060404 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan and Ian the necromantical advisor sit at a desk in Ian's office. Behind Ryan is a bookshelf filled with skulls.]]
/ Ian: Ryan, you'll be pleased to hear that we can offer you a number of products to help you contact the late Natalie. / [[Ian hands Ryan some brochures.]]
/ Ian: For E250 we can offer a basic seance.
/ Ian: Think of it as an intensely disturbing phone call. / [[Ryan peruses the brochures.]]
/ Ian: But for E3000 we can offer the full Beyond-the-Veil package.
/ Ian: I'm talking about sending your spirit to the afterlife to visit the departed -- in person.
/ Ryan: That sounds a lot better than tappin' the table. But I ain't got three grand. / Ian: We offer excellent credit terms. 10.9% APR and interest free credit for six months.
/ Unidentified Voice: And a free bucket. / [[Cut to a creepy bald old man with a scraggly white beard and eair hairs, standing in the corner and holding a red bucket.]]
/ Creepy Old Man: We strongly... advise you... to take the complementary bucket.
/ Creepy Old Man: You will find... it has... a multitude... of uses. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060405 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Dapper bald man with goatee, thick square glasses, green eyes and slight otherworldly appearance sits at desk.]]
/ Man: Ryan, you'll be pleased to hear that we can offer you a number of products to help you contact the late Natalie. / Man: For $250 we can offer a basic seance.
/ Man: Think of it as an intensely disturbing phone call. / Man: But for $3000 we can offer the full beyond-the-veil package.
/ Man: I'm talking sending your spirit to the afterlife to visit the departed - in person.
/ Ryan: That sounds a lot better than tappin' the table. But I ain't got three grand. / [[Man approaches Ryan with a contract, which he studies]]
/ Man: We offer excellent terms. 10.9% APR and interest free credit for six months.
/ Voice from Corner: And a free bucket. / [[A grizzly, skinny old man emerges out of nowhere with a red bucket.]]
/ Old man: We strongly...advise you...to take the complementary bucket.
/ Old man: You will find...it has...a multitude...of uses. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060405 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Clinician: I'm Ashcroft, I'll be enabling your passage beyond the veil today.
/ Clinician: Please remove your shirt.
/ Ryan: Is this... going to hurt?
/ Clinician: Oh, only for a second. / Nurse: Please don't worry. We do this all the time.
/ Ryan: It is mildly worryin'. / [[Nurse preps Ryan]]
/ Ryan: When you don't know exactly what's goin' to happen, there's a sense that maybe the situation is out of control and-- / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060406 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ashcroft: I'M ASHCROFT. I'LL BE ENABLING YOUR PASSAGE BEYOND THE VEIL TODAY.
/ Ashcroft: PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SHIRT.
/ Ryan: IS THIS... GOING TO HURT?
/ Ashcroft: OH, ONLY FOR A SECOND. / Vella: PLEASE DON'T WORRY. WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
/ Ryan: IT IS MILDLY WORRYIN'. / Ryan: WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S GOIN' TO HAPPEN, THERE'S A SENSE THAT MAYBE THE SITUATION IS OUT OF CONTROL AND-- / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060406 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Where's Ryan? We can't go in without giving him his ticket.
/ Shelly: Amy, I realise it is rock o'clock, but Ryan is a considerate boy. He wouldn't fail to turn up without a good reason. He could have fallen in the shower and broken his nutella. It happens! / Amy: Try phoning him again, ninj-ette.
/ Shelly: It just rings and rings! / Amy: Do you want to go in?
/ Shelly: Yes, let me just send him a text. / [[Shelly's text message on Ryan's cellphone]]: Ryan we have your ticket please call. ps hope your nutella is intact shel xx
/ [[Ryan is unconscious and hooked up to a strange machine and receiving a blood transfusion. A strange looking man with beady blue eyes is wearing a cuff attached to a line in which blood is flowing out of him and into the machine.]]
/ Nurse Vella: The spirit has left him, Ashcroft.
/ Ashcroft: Fetch my cauterising tools, Vella.
/ Man with blue eyes: Cup of tea wouldn't hurt, guv. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060407 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: WHERE'S RYAN? WE CAN'T GO IN WITHOUT GIVING HIM HIS TICKET.
/ Shelley: AMY, I REALISE IT IS ROCK O'CLOCK, BUT RYAN IS A CONSIDERATE BOY. HE WOULDN'T FAIL TO TURN UP WITHOUT A GOOD REASON.
/ Shelley: HE COULD HAVE FALLEN IN THE SHOWER AND BROKEN HIS NUTELLA. IT HAPPENS! / Amy: TRY PHONING HIM AGAIN, NINJ-ETTE.
/ Shelley: IT JUST RINGS AND RINGS! / Amy: DO YOU WANT TO GO IN?
/ Shelley: YES, JUST LET ME SEND HIM A TEXT. / Text message: Ryan we have your ticket please call. ps hope your nutella is intact shel xx / Vella: THE SPIRIT HAS LEFT HIM, ASHCROFT.
/ Ashcroft: FETCH MY CAUTERISING TOOLS, VELLA.
/ Some guy: CUP OF TEA WOULDN'T HURT, GUV. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060407 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: You know Shelley...We're lacking in generation defining characteristics! I feel we haven't made our mark on this green and pleasant land! / Amy: ...When they were our age our grandmothers were busy defining their generation in the factories making munitions and parodyable arm gestures! / Shelley: You're right! As loyal British sorts we must stamp our talents onto the hand of history! / Shelley: LET'S GET PISSED UP ON BOOZE! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060410 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: YOU KNOW SHELLEY...WE'RE LACKING IN GENERATION DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS!
/ Amy: I FEEL WE HAVEN'T MADE OUR MARK ON THIS GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND! / Amy (narrating): ...WHEN THEY WERE OUR AGE OUR GRANDMOTHERS WERE BUSY DEFINING THEIR GENERATION IN THE FACTORIES MAKING MUNITIONS AND PARODYABLE ARM GESTURES! / Shelley: YOU'RE RIGHT! AS LOYAL BRITISH SORTS WE MUST STAMP OUR TALENTS ONTO THE HAND OF HISTORY! / Shelley: LET'S GET PISSED UP ON BOOZE! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060410 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelly in bed looking unhappily at the moon]] / [[Shelly writing on a piece on paper]]
/ "Dear Moon and Moon Men, I know what you are doing, and I am telling you, I am not that kind of lady. Stop it. Crossly, Shelly." / [[She folds it into am airplane]] / [[She trows it and it hits the moon]]
/ Moon: Oi! / Moon Men: It's from Shelly. She's mad! / Moon: We'll show her! Get this down: "Dear Puny Mortal, We have better things to do than to stare at your--" / [[Sun is rising in the background, unhappy]]
/ Moon: "--your stupid self!" / [[The sun has fully risen, and is not happy]]
/ Moon: Ok, party's over, men! / {{in color}}
/ [[Sun is up and winking at Shelly]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060411 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley's letter: DEAR THE MOON AND MOON MEN, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND I AM TELLING YOU I AM NOT THAT KIND OF LADY. STOP IT. CROSSLY, SHE [[letter cut off by desk]] / Moon: OI! / Moon man: IT'S FROM SHELLEY! SHE'S MAD. / Moon: WE'LL SHOW HER! GET THIS DOWN: "DEAR PUNY MORTAL, WE HAVE BETTER THINGS TO STARE AT THAN YOUR STUPID- / Moon: YOUR STUPID SELF! / Moon: OKAY, PARTY'S OVER, MEN! / SGR GUEST BY JULIE KEENE http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060411 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Walking into apartment]]
/ Shelly: I'm back, Amy! Are you ready to... / [[The apartment is full of naked men]] / Shelly: Amy! Naked men! Livingroom!
/ Amy: Relax! I just wanted to do a project.
/ Shelly: So paint a bowl of fruit! / Amy: But I'm tired of labouring over a canvas for hours. Photography is more my speed. Point! Click! Bam!
/ Shelly: Naked men, Amy. They're on my couch! Couldn't you have put down a sheet? / Any: Photograpers always have nude people in their prevy art shots. So I fugured, more nudes equals more art! It'll be my defining work! Years from now when people hear the name Amy Chilton, they'll think house full of naked guys! / Shelly: People already think that.
/ Amy: Watch yourself, Shel. I've trained them to attack on command.
/ Naked Guy: RARR! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060412 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: I'M BACK, AMY!
/ Shelley: ARE YOU READ TO... / Shelley: AMY! NAKED MEN! LIVING ROOM!
/ Amy: RELAX! I JUST WANTED TO DO AN ART PROJECT.
/ Shelley: SO PAINT A BOWL OF FRUIT! / Amy: BUT I'M TIRED OF LABOURING OVER A CANVAS FOR HOURS. PHOTOGRAPHY IS MORE MY SPEED. POINT! CLICK! BAM!
/ Shelley: NAKED MEN, AMY. THEY'RE ON MY COUCH! COULDN'T YOU HAVE PUT DOWN A SHEET? / Amy: PHOTOGRAPHERS ALWAYS HAVE NUDE PEOPLE IN THEIR PERVY ART SHOTS. SO I FIGURE, MORE NUDES EQUALS MORE ART!
/ Amy: IT'LL BE MY DEFINING WORK! YEARS FROM NOW, WHEN PEOPLE HEAR THE NAME AMY CHILTON, THEY'LL THINK HOUSE FULL OF NAKED GUYS! / Shelley: PEOPLE ALREADY THINK THAT.
/ Amy: WATCH YOURSELF, SHEL. I'VE TRAINED THEM TO ATTACK ON COMMAND.
/ Naked guy: RARR! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060412 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: I TOTALLY FEEL LIKE A HAG SHELLEY! / Shelley: YOU ARE SOOOOOO NOT A HAG AMY!!! / Amy: LIKE, I KNOW! I AM TOTALLY ADORABLE! / Amy: OMIGOD SHELLEY! YOU ARE DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE CAR...AND THE ROAD! / Shelley: OMIGOD I AM! / Shelley: I AM SUCH A SILLY GIRL! / Amy: OOH SHELLEY, A DEAD SKELLINGTON! / Shelley: OMIGOD! THAT IS SO TOTALLY DISGUSTING! / Skellington: NO! I AM YUMMY JUST ASK MY MAGGOTY FRIENDS! / OMIGOD PATCHES DOES SGR AND AT LEAST ONE "!" FOR EVERY SENTENCE! TOTAL APOLOGIES TO JOHHN ALLISON!!! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060413 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: I totally feel like a hag Shelley! / Shelley: You are soooooo not a hag Amy!!! / Amy: Like, I know! I am totally adorable! / Amy: Omigod Shelley! You are driving on the wrong side of the car...And the road! / Shelley: Omigod I am! / Shelley: I am such a silly girl! / Amy: Ooh Shelley, a dead skellington! / Shelley: Omigod! That is so totally disgusting! / Skellington: No! I am yummy Just ask my maggoty friends! / Author's note: Omigod patches does SGR and at least one "!" for every sentence! Total apologies to John Allison!!! / {{Guest strip by Kelly Vivanco of Patches (http://hingos.com/patches/)}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060413 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Esther de Groot's Top Ten Awesome Ways To Die: 2006 Edition / 10. Improperly pasteurizing goat blood in a "pagan" sacrifice ritual. / 9. Blowing raspberries at the undead without proper flat shoes for running. / 8. One year without Danzig!!! ROFLS!!! / 7. Forcing oneself to read the entire archive of [[title scribbled out]]
/ Editor: EDITED DUE TO MEANNESS - JOHN / 6. Getting intimate with some pimply boy who listens to Cradle of Filth on 06.06.06 for the express purpose of bearing the Antichrist. Intimacy should be meaningful! / 5. Eating ankh-shaped hot dogs with a mummy in a pyramid. / 4. Car accident due to exploded black nail polish on windshield. / 3. "Suicide By Unicorn." / 2. Boiling in marshmallow while haunted by the ghosts of a thousand retired racehorses. / 1. Listening to the audio track embedded in the myspace profile of everyone in your school. / BONUS SKETCHBLOG http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060414 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Esther de Groot's Top Ten Awesome Way's to Die: 2006 Edition
/ 10. Improperly Pasteurizing goat blood in a "pagan" sacrifice ritual.
/ 9. Blowing raspberries at the undead without proper flat shoes for running.
/ 8. One year without Danzig!!! ROFLS!!!
/ 7. Forcing oneself to read the entire archive of XXXXXXXXXXX. (Edited due to meanness - John)
/ 6. Getting intimate with some pimply boy who listens to Cradle of Filth on 06.06.06 for the express purpose of bearing the Antichrist. Intimacy should be MEANINGFUL!
/ 5. Eating ankh-shaped hot dogs with a mummy in a pyramid.
/ 4. Car accident due to exploded black nail polish on windshield.
/ 3. "Suicide by Unicorn."
/ 2. Boiling in marshmallow while haunted by the ghosts of a thousand retired racehorses.
/ 1. Listening to the audio track embedded in the myspace profile of EVERYONE in your school. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060414 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Narrator: Great Britian, Capital of the United kingdom
/ John: At last! I've done it! / Shelly: Wh.. Who *are* you? Why am I all goopy?
/ John: Shelly, I am The Englishman. I created you with my mind and now I've brought you to life with machine. / Shelly: My whole life... is the invention of a *man*?
/ John: Shelly, do you know why I've brought you here? / John: I've brought you here to be my *bride*!
/ John: I love you! / Shelly: If you really loved me why'd you *kill* me all those times? It hursts to die!
/ John: I was just havin' a little laugh is all.
/ Shelly: I can *never* marry someone who's killed me in his *mind*.
/ John: But --
/ Shelly Goodbye, John. / Narrator: Exactly one year later...
/ Shelly: *You'd* never kill me several times, would you Jeffery Rowland?
/ Jeff: Whoa, slow down babe. I ain't ready for that kinda commitment, y'know? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060415 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Narrator: Great Britian: Capitol of the United Kingdom
/ The Englishman: At last! I've done it! / Shelley: Wh... Who are you? Why am I all goopy?
/ The Englishman: Shelley, I am The Englishman! I created you with my mind and now I've brought you to life with machine! / Shelley: My whole life... is the invention of a man?
/ The Englishman: Shelley, do you know why I've brought you here? / The Englishman: I've brought you to be my bride! I love you! / Shelley: If you really loved me why'd you Kill me all those time? It hurts to die!
/ The Englishman: Well I was just havin' a little laugh is all!
/ Shelley: I can never marry someone who's killed me in his mind!
/ The Englishman: But-
/ Shelley: Goodbye, John. / Narrator: Exactly one year later...
/ Shelley: You'd never kill me several times, would you Jeffrey Rowland?
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Woah, slow down, babe. I ain't ready for that kinda commitment, y'know? / Author's note: Jeffrey Rowland is a scoundrel who deserves no sympathy. Peep his junk at jjrowland.com / {{Guest strip by Jeff Rowland of Overcompensating (http://overcompensating.com/)}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060415 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Oh Holy Dang, I'm dead.
/ They're runnin' my blood through some ole greaser to stop me from fallin' to bits.
/ I don't want no greaser germs! / Ryan: Keep it together, keep it together.
/ So long as they're keepin' your body goin', you're okay. / Ryan: It's like suspended animation.
/ But usin' a guy who turns back car mileage clocks, rather than a high tech life-pod. / Ryan: I guess my complimentary bucket died too.
/ Maybe we wouldn't be so quick to fill buckets with filth if we knew they had a soul.
/ Or maybe that's what they're into.
/ Ain't no way to get inside a bucket's mind. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060417 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Oh holy dang, I'm dead. They're runnin' my blood through some ole greaser to stop me from fallin' to bits. I don't want no greaser germs! / Ryan: Keep it together, keep it together. So long as they're keepin' your body goin', you're okay. / Ryan: It's like suspended animation. But usin' a guy who turns back car mileage clocks, rather than a high tech life-pod. / Ryan: I guess my complimentary bucket died too. Maybe we wouldn't be so quick to fill buckets with filth if we knew they had a soul. Or maybe that's what they're into. Ain't no way to get inside a bucket's mind. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060417 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Frame 1 / Ryan : Aw hell, bucket, how am I ever goin' to find Natalie? / Frame 2 / Ryan : People are dyin' every day, there must be trillions of dead folks. / Ryan : Why couldn't I just leave well enough alone? / Frame 3 / Ryan : Wait! Children and animals can see ghosts! / Ryan : They can help! / Child 1 : I get you, I get you / Child 2 : THRRRP PRRRT / Frame 4 / Ryan : Say, do you two know any paranormal experts? / Ryan : You'd recognize em by their book smarts. / Frame 5 / Ryan : GLAAARBLE URRRBLE URRRBLE / Child 2 : I scared. / Child 1 : I made a wee wee http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060418 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Aw hell, bucket. How am I ever goin' to find Natalie? / Ryan: People are dyin' every day. There must be trillions of dead folks. Why couldn't I just leave well enough alone? / Ryan: Wait! Children and animals can see ghosts! They can help!
/ Child #1: I get you, I get you
/ Child #2: Thrrrp prrrt / Ryan: Say, do you two know any paranormal experts? You'd recognise em by their book smarts. / [[In the children's eyes, Ryan looks like a featureless monster with oversized teeth.]]
/ Ryan monster: GLAAARBLE URRRBLE URRRBLE
/ Child #1: I made a wee wee
/ Child #2: I scared http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060418 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | SHELLEY: How come you have a key for Ryan's flat and I don't? I'm the respectable one!
/ AMY: Maybe he didn't want to come home and find doilies under everything again. / SHELLEY: The doilies were a one-off, Amy. I was hoodwinked by chintz nouveau. / SHELLEY: Has his bed been slept in?
/ AMY: I don't know if thisis a bed or where he stores his dirty linen and dust mites. / AMY: He might just have had a family emergency, Shel.
/ SHELLEY: Yes, Yes, I suppose. But I don't like it when Ryan goes missing. he sticks close to home. He's like a tortoise. A tortoise who is my friend. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060419 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: How come you have a key for Ryan's flat and I don't? I'm the respectable one!
/ Amy: Maybe he didn't want to come home and find doilies under everything again. / Shelley: The doilies were a one-off, Amy. I was hoodwinked by chintz nouveau. / Shelley: Has his bed been slept in?
/ Amy: I don't know if this is a bed or where he stores his dirty linen and dust mites. / Amy: He might just have had a family emergency, Shel.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060419 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan, with red bucket, approaches cablecar]]
/ Ryan; Hoverin' between life and death has opened my eyes to all sorts'a things
/ Ryan; F'rinstance I never noticed that Tackleford had a cablecar system with big ol skulls on it. / Bucket; The cablecar system provides access to the local "Land of the Dead, a waiting area for restless spirits.
/ Ryan; This bucket is fancy! It's like the Hitchiker's Guide to Life After Bein' Stabbed Some.
/ Conductor; Going up, sir? / [[Conductor examines clipboard while opening door to cablecar]]
/ Conductor; I see you have a day pass, sir.
/ Conductor; Please vacate the land of the dead by midnight, or you will be expelled by the walloo. / [[Ryan inside the cablecar]]
/ Ryan; Is "the walloo" a police escort or somewhat meaner?
/ Conductor; Imagine being eaten by piranhas, sir.
/ Conductor; Piranhas made of broken glass.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060420 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hoverin' between life and death has opened my eyes to all sorts'a things.
/ F'rinstance I never noticed that Tackleford had a cablecar system with big ol skulls on it. / The cablecar system provides access to the local "Land of the Dead," a waiting area for restless spirits.
/ This bucket is fancy! It's like the Hitchhiker's Guide to Life after bein' stabbed some.
/ Going up, sir? / I see you have a day pass, sir.
/ Please vacate the land of the dead by midnight, or you will be expelled by the walloo. / Is "the walloo" a police escort or somewhat meaner?
/ Imagine being eaten by piranhas, sir.
/ Piranhas made of broken glass. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060420 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[In a cablecar in the Land of the Dead]]
/ Ryan: Tell all, bucket. Looks like we got some serious sittin' time.
/ Bucket: The Land of the Dead is an ever expanding community of souls yet to pass into "Heaven" or "Hell". / Ryan: I should've figured the after life wasn't just a miasma. / Ryan: People are like ants. We're doin' creatures.
/ Getting organised rather than floppin' around like a slug.
/ Slug: We resent that. / Ryan: Powerful sorry, I forgot myself.
/ How about a crisp as a peace offerin' / Slugs: AIIIIIEEEE!!
/ Ryan: I know they're salty, but you'd be puttin' them inside you.
/ We can make this work. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060421 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Tell all, bucket. Looks like we got some serious sittin' time.
/ Bucket: The land of the dead is an ever expanding community of souls yet to pass into "heaven" or "hell". / Ryan: I should've figured the after life wasn't just a miasma. / Ryan: People are like ants, we're doin' creatures. Getting organised rather than floppin' around like a slug.
/ Slugs: We resent that / Ryan: Powerful sorry, I forgot myself. How about a crisps as a peace offerin'
/ Slugs: AIIIIIEEEE!!
/ Ryan: I know they're salty, but you'd be puttin' them inside you. We can make this work. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060421 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: My brother's missing? He's probably just sleeping off a big one somewhere.
/ Shelley: But he was meant to meet us last night, Riley. A night of songs and smiles! But he never showed up. / Riley: Well, that is sort of worrying. Ryan's always liked... songs and smiles. After all, who doesn't? / Riley: You should ask his old drinking friends. They all meet at the Hair Shirt on Cobden Street. / Amy: How do we know they'll be there?
/ Riley: If the sun's over the yard arm, they'll be there.
/ Shelley: These are people who don't like goin' home, Ames. It's hard to make a post-apocalyptic shell cosy. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060424 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: My brother's missing?
/ He's probably just sleeping off a big one somewhere.
/ Shelley: But he was meant to meet us last night, Riley.
/ A night of songs and smiles! But he never showed up! / Riley: Well, that is sort of worrying. Ryan's always liked... songs and smiles.
/ After all, who doesn't? / Riley: You should ask his old drinking friends.
/ They all meet at the Hair Shirt on Cobden Street. / Amy: How do we know they'll be there?
/ Riley: If the sun's over the yard arm, they'll be there.
/ Shelley: These are people who don't like goin' home, Ames.
/ It's hard to make a post-apocalyptic shell cosy. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060424 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Dead old lady #1: Look at 'im. Poor thing, gone so young.
/ D.O.L. #2: Must'a been drugs, s'always drugs these days.
/ D.O.L. #3: Give 'im a break, e's maybe just toppled to his death from a high window. / Ryan: Aw ladies, don't fret, I'm just visitin' for a day.
/ D.O.L. #2: E's visitin'.
/ D.O.L. #1: For a day. E's a day tripper.
/ D.O.L. #3: Yeah! / D.O.L. #1: Say, could you give a message to my Alfred? Tell im there's eso behind the kitchen dresser?
/ D.O.L. #2: E's a visitor!
/ D.O.L. #3: 'Ere for a day! / [[A crowd of dead people gather around Ryan.]]
/ Dead person #1: Tell my Elsie.. I never meant to be untrue
/ D.P. #2: ...the price of fish weren't never worth fightin' over...
/ Ryan: Uh, one at a time...
/ D.P. #3: I still miss 'is steady touch, tell 'im...
/ D.P. #4: That bread was stale, STALE...
/ D.P. #5: It was eggs! Eggs benedict! / {{Beatles lyrics reference}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060425 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Old Lady In Yellow: Look at 'im. Poor thing, gone so young.
/ Old Lady In Purple: Must'a been the drugs, s'always drugs these days.
/ Old Lady in Blue: Give 'im a break, e's maybe just toppled to his death from a high window. / Ryan: Aw ladies, don't fret, I'm just visitin' for a day.
/ Lady in Purple: E's visitin'.
/ Lady in Yellow: For a day. E's a day tripper.
/ Lady in Blue: Yeah! / Lady in Yellow: Say, could you give a message to my Alfred?
/ Tell 'im there's E50 behind the kitchen dresser?
/ Lady in Purple: E's a visitor!
/ Lady in Blue: 'Ere for a day! / Old People: Tell my Elsie... I never meant to be untrue
/ ...The price of fish weren't never worth fightin' over...
/ Ryan: Uh, one at a time...
/ Old People: I still miss 'is steady touch, tell 'im...
/ That bread was stale, stale...
/ It was eggs! Eggs benedict! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060425 |
| Ryan finds an ally in the underworld, Mr Pardew | Old guy: Tell Doris to keep an eye on Little Willie.
/ Old lady flying through air: Woop!
/ Old lady 2: .. Eddie the Budgie.. / Mr Pardew: I'll have you out of there, Ryan.
/ Ryan: Mr Pardew!
/ Mr Pardew: What were you thinking, inciting a grey scrum?...
/ I thought I taught you better than that. / Old people walking away: Blerr.. grumble..
/ Ryan: Thanks Mr Pardew. I thought you were still teachin' rugby at school.
/ Mr Pardew: Died of Scrum Pox, Beckwith. / Mr Pardew: That and complications caused by an exploded cauliflower ear.
/ Ryan: Much condolensces, sir. But I think that's the way you would have wanted it. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060426 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Old Person: Tell Doris to keep an eye on Little Willie.
/ Old Person 2: Woop! / Old Person 3: ...Eddie the Budgie... / Mr Pardew: I'll have you out of there, Ryan.
/ Ryan: Mr Pardew!
/ Mr Pardew: What were you thinking, inciting a grey scrum?
/ I thought I taught you better than that. / Old People: Blerr... Grumble...
/ Ryan: Thanks Mr Pardew. I thought you were still teachin' rugby at school.
/ Mr Pardew: Died of scrum pox, Beckwith. / Mr Pardew: That and complications caused by an exploded cauliflower ear.
/ Ryan: Much condolences, sir. But I think that's the way you would've wanted it. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060426 |
| Mr Pardew is familiar with Natalie's work.. | Mr Pardew: So you went young, Beckwith. Wish I could say I was surprised.
/ Ryan: Aw dang, lost my bucket. / Ryan: No sir, I'm here on a day pass....
/ You'd be pleased with me, I got a job and I'm cuttin' my lungs and liver some slack. / Ryan: I just wanted to see if my lady was peaceful in the afterlife....
/ She kind of went out in the worst way imaginable.
/ Mr Pardew: Finding someone here is like finding a needle in a hundred haystacks...
/ You have to use the Nebulotron Console. / Mr Pardew: What's your girlfriend's name?
/ Ryan: Natalie Durand / Mr Pardew: The Bleak Harvester? The Soul-Smasher? The Femme Stygian?
/ Ryan: Just keep sayin' things I don't understand until I get it..
/ That's the Teachin' Way! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060427 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mr Pardew: So you went young, Beckwith. Wish I could say I was surprised.
/ Ryan: Aw dang, I lost my bucket. / Ryan: No sir, I'm here on a day pass.
/ You'd be pleased with me, I got a job and I'm cuttin' my lungs and liver some slack. / Ryan: I just wanted to see if my lady was peaceful in the afterlife.
/ She kind of went out in the worst way imaginable.
/ Mr Pardew: Finding someone here is like finding a needle in a hundred haystacks.
/ You have to use a Nebulotron console. / Mr Pardew: What was your girlfriend's name?
/ Ryan: Natalie Durand. / Mr Pardew: The Bleak Harvester? The Soul-Smasher? La Femme Stygian?
/ Ryan: Just keep sayin' things I don't understand until I get it.
/ That's the teachin' way! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060427 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Drinking buddy: Ryan? We never see him, do we, Mickey?
/ Mickey: Nah, spends all 'is time with his real mates... _Michelle and Aylee_.
/ Shell: uh yes yes I see
/ Mickey:They've chanhed 'im. Got 'im more interested in flower arrangin' than avin' a good time. / Mickey: Say, are you doing anything tonight?
/ Shell: Oh, sorry. I'm aphebetizing my pencils. / Amy: Shell, I recoginze that wall-eyed soak other there.
/ Amy: It's Ralph. He runs the elevator at my Dad's building at work. / Shell: Yes, lifts can be interesting sometimes, but...
/ Amy: No! He's a total no-good, and he knows Ryan. / Amy: Ralph, do you have a minute?
/ Ralph: Do you think I don't see yer accussin' eyes, harridans? They be pretty, but they burn. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060428 |
| Scary Go Round 20060428 | Barfly: Ryan? We never see him, do we Mickey?
/ Mickey: Nah, spends all 'is time with 'is real mates... Michelle and Aylee.
/ Shelley: Hm yes yes I see
/ Mickey: They've changed 'im. Got 'im more interested in flower arrangin' than avin' a good time. / Mickey: Say, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
/ Shelley: Oh, sorry, I'm alphabetising my pencils. / Amy: Shel, I recognize that wall-eyed soak over there. It's Ralph. He runs the elevator in my dad's building at work. / Shelley: Yes, lifts can be interesting sometimes, but...
/ Amy: No, he's a total no-good! And he knows Ryan! / Amy: Ralph, do you have a minute?
/ Ralph: Do ye think I don't see yer accusin' eyes, ye harridans? They be pretty, but they burn. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060428 |
| Scary Go Round 20060428 | Barfly: Ryan? We never see him, do we Mickey?
/ Mickey: Nah, spends all 'is time with 'is real mates... Michelle and Aylee.
/ Shelley: Hm yes yes I see
/ Mickey: They've changed 'im. Got 'im more interested in flower arrangin' than avin' a good time. / Mickey: Say, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
/ Shelley: Oh, sorry, I'm alphabetising my pencils. / Amy: Shel, I recognize that wall-eyed soak over there. It's Ralph. He runs the elevator in my dad's building at work. / Shelley: Yes, lifts can be interesting sometimes, but...
/ Amy: No, he's a total no-good! And he knows Ryan! / Amy: Ralph, do you have a minute?
/ Ralph: Do ye think I don't see yer accusin' eyes, ye harridans? They be pretty, but they burn. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060428 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan finds bucket with koala bear inside]]
/ Ryan: AW THERE YOU ARE, BUCKET.
/ MR PARDEW SURE WAS TALKIN' SOME STRANGE STUFF ABOUT NATALIE. / [[Ryan dumps koala out of bucket]]
/ Ryan: HE CALLED HER THE "SOUL SMASHER".
/ MAYBE HE WAS GETTIN' HER CONFUSED WITH ANOTHER NATALIE DURAND.
/ PERHAPS A NUCULAR LIZARD IN THE GODZILLA VEIN. / Ryan: THE ONLY THING MY NATALIE KNEW HOW TO KILL WAS A BOTTLE OF RED.
/ ANYWAY I GOT HER ADDRESS SO WE CAN RESOLVE THIS GODZILLA LIZARD ISSUE. / Ryan: THERE'S A PLEASIN' COURTESY TO THE AFTERLIFE.
/ I GUESS FOLKS JUST AIN'T IN SUCH A HURRY. / [[Ryan sits on train seat, reads schedule; reaper recruitment ad is above train window: "THE {Omega} TEAM", "THEY GOT YOU HERE NOW THEY NEED YOU! REAPERS RECRUIT"]]
/ Ryan: 214 STOPS!
/ I WISH I HAD AN I-SPY BOOK OF TORTURED PHANTOMS.
/ PA System: NEXT STOP, 41,975TH ST. AND DESPAIR. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060501 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Aw there you are, bucket.
/ Mr Pardew sure was talkin' some strange stuff about Natalie. / Ryan: He caller her the "Soul Smasher".
/ Maybe he was gettin' her confused with another Natalie Durand.
/ Perhaps a nucular lizard in the Godzilla vein. / Ryan: The only thing my Natalie knew how to kill was a bottle of red.
/ Anyway I got her address so we can resolve this Godzilla lizard issue. / Ryan: There's a pleasin' courtesy to the afterlife.
/ I guess folks just ain't in such a hurry. / Ryan: 214 stops! / Loudspeaker: Next stop, 41,975th St. and Despair. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060501 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: So, "Ralph", do you know where Ryan is?
/ Ralph: Wouldn't 'ave the faintest notion, gerlie. Old Ralph goes home at night to 'is little room, 'is naughty playing cards, and 'is memories. / Shelley: Ames, we can't torment this poor old codger. The only thing he can tell us is how the world left him behind.
/ Amy: Hmmm... / Amy: You're right, Shelley. The only thing this irrelevant old fossil can tell us... ...is where to buy pants that go up to his nipples.
/ Ralph: Bah! / Shelley: Amy! That was the rudest thing anyone has ever said! Unprovoked meanness and spite!
/ Amy: It was a smokescreen so I could borrow his wallet. Existential angst should render him harmless for 2-3 minutes. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060502 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[in a bar, Amy and Shelley have cornered Ralph and are trying to pump him for Ryan's whereabouts. A flyer on the wall announces "Batjew at the Copa!"]]
/ Amy: So, "Ralph", do you know where Ryan is?
/ Ralph: Wouldn't 'ave the faintest notion, gerlie.
/ Ralph: Old Ralph goes home at night to 'is little room, 'is naughty lady playing cards, and 'is memories. / Shelley: Ames, we can't torment this poor old codger.
/ Shelley: The only thing he can tell us is how the world left him behind.
/ Amy: Hmmm... / Amy: You're right Shelley. The only thing this irrelevant old fossil can tell us...
/ Amy: ...is where to buy pants that go up to his nipples.
/ Ralph: Bah! / [[in bathroom, probably the Ladies' and probably at the bar]]
/ Shelley: Amy! That was the rudest thing anyone has ever said!
/ Shelley: Unprovoked meanness and spite!
/ Amy: It was a smokescreen so I could borrow his wallet.
/ Amy: Existential angst should render him harmless for 2-3 minutes. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060502 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: How do we know that Ralph knows where Ryan is?
/ Amy: We don't know but it's a start -- What's Eisegesis? / Shelley: I think it's a consultancy firm! Consulting on ideas!
/ Amy: Why would Ralph have this? He's a lift operator.
/ Shelley: Maybe he collects rectangles! / Shelley: Let's go down there. What's the worst that can happen?
/ Amy: Their office turns out to be staffed by cannibals? In drag? / Intercom: Eisegesis super-natural services, do you have an appointment?
/ Shelley: S-s-super-natural services? / Shelley: We're here to tell Ryan Beckwith he... he...
/ Amy: His uncle Boris has taken a tumble! It's a bad one! / Intercom: Mr Beckwith is unavailable, do you have a contact number?
/ Amy: My hunch was right!
/ Shelley: Don't worry, Amy. Ill-informed ignorance will rise again. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060503 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelley and Amy are examining a business card. It's dark outside.]]
/ Shelley: How do we know that Ralph knows where Ryan is?
/ Amy: We don't know, but it's a start - what's Eisegesis? / Shelley: I think a consultancy firm! Consulting on ideas!
/ Amy: Why would Ralph have this? He's a lift operator.
/ Shelley: Maybe he collects rectangles! / Shelley: Let's go down there.
/ Shelley: What's the worst that can happen?
/ Amy: Their office turns out to be staffed by cannibals?
/ Amy: In drag? / [[Shelley and Amy are outside a brick building, speaking to someone inside over the intercom. It's night time.]]
/ Speaker: Eisesegis supernatural services, do you have an appointment?
/ Shelley: S-s-super-natural services? / Shelley: We're here to tell Ryan Beckwith he... he...
/ Amy: His uncle Boris has taken a tumble! It's a bad one! / Speaker: Mr. Beckwith is unavailable.
/ Speaker: Do you have a contact number?
/ Amy: My hunch was right!
/ Shelley: Don't worry Amy.
/ Shelley: Ill-informed ignorance will rise again. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060503 |
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