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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | What-ho, Pentwhistle! Why such a glum-bum?
/ All is not well! I am suffering from an affliction of an extremely personal nature! / Let's just say that Mrs. Pentwhistle has been less than satisfied in the marital chamber.
/ Say no more! A trip to the arch-doctor will soon set the problem right! If we hurry, we can still catch the badger omnibus. / [[Both climb onto the badger omnibus]] / Two tickets for the arch-doctor, please!
/ Is this a matter of the utmost urgency? The doctor is extremely busy.
/ Urgent? Why, my winky is wilted!
/ His pecker is pliant!
/ My flipper is floppy!
/ His thomas is tuck- / What is this commotion? I am both very busy and highly important! / He prescribed me a cheese sandwich.
/ Contains "edam of engorgement". Potential side-effects include irresisability to amorus octopuses.
/ I am underwhelmed at the prospect of suctioned tentacular embraces. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060613 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{Guest comic by Tynic and "byrobot"}} / [[In the forest]]
/ Unnamed goblin: What-ho, Pentwhistle! Why such a glum-bum?
/ Pentwhistle: All is not well! I am suffering from an affliction of an extremely personal nature! / Pentwhistle: Let's just say that Mrs. Pentwhistle has been less than satisfied in the marital chamber.
/ Unnamed goblin: Say no more! A trip to the arch-doctor will soon set the problem right! If we hurry, we can still catch the badger omnibus. / [[The goblins board the badger omnibus]] / [[At the arch-doctor's office]]
/ Pentwhistle: Two tickets for the arch-doctor, please!
/ Receptionist: Is this matter of the utmost urgency? The doctor is extremely busy.
/ Pentwhistle: Urgent? Why, my winky is wilted!
/ Unnamed goblin: His pecker is pliant!
/ Pentwhistle: My flipper is floppy!
/ Unnamed goblin: His thomas is tuck— / Arch-doctor: What is this commotion? I am both very busy and highly important! / [[outside the office]]
/ Pentwhistle: He prescribed me a cheese sandwich.
/ Unnamed goblin: Contains "Edam of engorgement." Potential side-effects include irresistability to amorous octopuses.
/ Pentwhistle: I am underwhelmed at the prospect of suctioned tentacular embraces. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060613 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelly and Amy stand in front of the toaster.]]
/ Shelly: I'm just saying that Nutella is too delicious to be trusted!
/ [[Amy plugs her ears.]]
/ Amy: Blah blah blah blah blah blah! / [[A daemonic arm reaches out of the toaster toward Amy.]]
/ Toaster Daemon: GRAAAHR! / [[Amy is pulled into the toaster.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060614 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{Guest comic by Jack Cusemano}} / [[Shelley and Amy in front of the toaster.]]
/ Shelley: I'm just saying that Nutella is too delicious to be trusted!
/ Amy: [[makes face]] Blah blah blah blah blah blah! / [[A monster arm comes out of the toaster and grabs Amy.]]
/ Monster: Graaahr! / [[Amy vanishes into the toaster]]
/ Toaster: < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060614 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Esther and Erin walk down a school corridor.]]
/ [[Erin opens a cup of Muller rice]]
/ Esther: Ugh! Another physics test. And right after lunch!
/ Erin: I agree. Lunch is great! / [[A wormhole suddenly appears out of the cup of rice.]]
/ Erin: Jiminy Cricket! There was a quantum distortion in my Muller rice!
/ Wormhole: BAKULA! / [[Esther and Erin plunge through a multi-colored vortex]]
/ Esther: This is the third confection based spatial anomaly this week!
/ Erin: Well too much snack food is bad for you. / [[Closeup of Esther in the vortex.]]
/ Esther: I'll put a stop to this...
/ Esther: In the only way possible! / Esther: By punching science right in the face!
/ [[Esther delivers a KO to Science, who is a little green goblin with glasses, boots, and a label that reads "Science".]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060615 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Esther: Ugh! Another physics test. And right after lunch!
/ Erin: I agree. Lunch is great.
/ [[Erin peels back the lid of a cup of rice.]] / [[A green curved grid erupts from Erin's cup of rice.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060615 |
| Tackleford Junior High Undead Zombie Dance | [[Tackleford High School. 9pm]]
/ Sign: Junior Dance Tonight / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060616 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{Guest comic by Josh Rosen}} / [[Caption: Tackleford High School, 9 pm]]
/ [[Sign outside says "Junior Dance Tonight!"]] / [[The school explodes]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060616 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Mike, do you want to help me with a top local news story?
/ Mike: No.
/ Shelley: It will help you forget the many problems in your life! / Shelley: This is an exciting story! A tale of intellectual derring-do within a secret society!
/ Mike: "Problems in my life"? / Shelley: Don't worry, anything I may have accidentally learned about you is strictly on the Q-T.
/ Mike: What do you need, she-devil? / Shelley: Rumour has it that Mayor Jones has to leave town if he loses an "Invent-Off". Voters need to know, but this is super super secret stuff. Are you ready to derail a shadowy cabal?
/ Mike: Yes. Yes! Just so long as you don't mean that literally. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060619 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Mike, do you want to help me with a top local news story?
/ Mike: No.
/ Shelley: It will help you forget the many problems in your life! / Shelley: This is an exciting story! A tale of intellectual derring-do within a secret society!
/ Mike: "Problems with my life"? / Shelley: Don't worry, anything I may have accidentally learned about you is strictly on the Q-T.
/ Mike: What do you need, she-devil? / Shelley: Rumour has it that Major Jones has to leave town if he loses an "invent-off".
/ Shelley: Voters need to know, but this is super super secret stuff.
/ Shelley: Are you ready to derail a shadowy cabal?
/ Mike: Yes. yes!
/ Mike: As long as you don't mean that literally. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060619 |
| Sayin' one thing and meanin' quite another | Shelley: Aaaamy... would you say you were disgruntled with the Brotherhood of Inventors? To put it another way, do you like blowin' whistles? Where do you stand on... GRASS?
/ Amy: This is strange, Shelley... it's almost as if you're saying one thing... / Amy: ...but meaning quite another!
/ Shelley: I think the people should be told! / Shelley: Tim is a good mayor, he keeps the city safe! The public need to know he might be exiled to West Wales! / Amy: If the Brotherhood find out I blabbed, I'll lose my job. Then you'll have to find a new flat-mate.
/ Shelley: That would be ghastly! / Amy: They have an omerta, Shel. They'll never talk.
/ Shelley: Maybe-
/ Amy: Tickling ISN'T GOING TO WORK. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060620 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Aaaamy...would you say you were disgruntled with the Brotherhood of Inventors? To put it another way, do you like blowin' whistles? Where do you stand on...grass?
/ Amy: This is strange, Shelley...it's almost as if you're saying one thing... / Amy: ...but meaning quite another!
/ Shelley: I think the people should be told! / Shelley: Tim is a good mayor, he keeps the city safe! The public need to know he might be exiled to west Wales! / Amy: If the Brotherhood find out I blabbed, I'll lose my job. Then you'll have to find a new flat-mate.
/ Shelley: That would be ghastly! / Amy: They have an omerta, Shel. They'll never talk.
/ Shelley: Maybe-
/ Amy: Tickling isn't going to work. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060620 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: Tim, come on. You can find another assistant.
/ Tim: You don't understand, Riley. The process take time. / Riley: What about The Boy? He's helped you before.
/ Tim: He's 16. His body is 73% hormones. / Tim: He spends 73% of the time staring out the window and thinking about girls' bums.
/ Riley: And that was okay before? / Tim: Checks and balances. He was trying so hard to impress Amy that bums were... forgotten. / Riley: Well... why not me then?
/ Tim: I made a solemn promise to your mum not to accidently blow you up. / Riley: She'll understand!
/ TimL Darling, with all due respect, she was kneeling on my chest at the time. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060621 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: Tim, come on. You can find another assistant.
/ Tim: You don't understand, Riley. The process takes time. / Riley: what about The Boy? He's helped you before.
/ Tim: He's 16. His body is 73% hormones. / Tim: He spends 73% of the time staring out of the window and thinking about girls' bums.
/ Riley: And that was okay before?
/ Tim: Checks and balances. He was trying so hard to impress Amy that bums... were forgotten. / Riley: Well... why not me then?
/ Tim: I made a solemn promise to your mum not to accidentally blow you up. / Riley: She'll understand!
/ Tim: Darling. With all due respect, she was kneeling on my chest at the time. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060621 |
| Shelley confronts Erin | Shelley: Sis-tar, who is that tow-headed youth I sometimes see in your company?
/ Erin: The Boy? / Shelley: Yes yes. "The Boy". Doesn't he help Tim Jones sometimes?
/ Erin: He used to... with his inventing... before Tim was mayor. / Erin: What's all this about?
/ Shelley: I'm doin' a profile piece! "A Year of Jones, a Year of Smiles!"
/ Erin: You'd be better at lying if your voice didn't raise an octave when you did it. / Shelley: All right. I'm going to use my sexy wiles on his weak boy brain and save the city. Please do not judge me.
/ Erin: Now why would I ever do that? You know what I say? GIVE IRRATIONALITY A CHANCE. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060622 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Sis-tar, who is that tow-headed youth I sometimes see in your company?
/ Erin: The Boy? / Shelley: Yes yes. "The Boy". Doesn't he help Tim Jones sometimes?
/ Erin: He used to... with his inventing... before Tim was Major. / Erin: What's this about?
/ Shelley: I'm doin' a profile piece!
/ Shelley: " A year of Jones, a year of smiles!"
/ Erin: You'd be better at lying if your voice didn't raise an octave when you did it. / Shelley: All right. I'm going to use my sexy wiles on his weak boy brain and save the city.
/ Shelley: Please do not judge me.
/ Erin: Now why would I ever do that?
/ Erin: You know what I say? Give irrationality a chance. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060622 |
| Shelley is not wearin' pants. | The Boy: I'm, um, not sure why you wanted to meet me, Shelley. / Shelley: The Boy, do you know what a source is? An anonymous source? / The Boy: Isn't it someone who tells a reporter facts?
/ Shelley: Yes. EXACTLY. Sources are very important. I'm working on a story about the Brotherhood of Inventors. Do you know anyone who could... help me?
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060623 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Behind a tree. Shelley is dressed in a long coat, and is wearing sunglasses, and hiding behind a newspaper.]]
/ The Boy: I'm, um, not sure why you wanted to meet me, Shelley. / Shelley: The Boy, do you know what a source is? An anonymous source? / The Boy: Isn't it someone who tells a reporter facts?
/ Shelley: Yes. Exactly. Sources are very important. / I'm working on a story about the brotherhood of inventors. / Do you know anyone whou could... help me. / The Boy: Well I could... I know... But it's kind of... I don't know...
/ Shelley: I know it's hard. It takes a strong man to stand up for what's right. / [[The boy is gone. Mike is here]]
/ Mike: Did it work? Did he go for it?
/ Shelley: Mike Mike Mike/ You can't say "sleazt" without sayin' "easy." http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060623 |
| Goin' to invent things | Tim: I'm that glad you've agreed to help me with the invent-off, The Boy. I need someone I can trust.
/ The Boy: You can trust me, Tim! / Riley: You're a reliable lad. Your head can't be turned. / [[Tim and The Boy are loading Tim's Volvo in preparation for the invent-off.]]
/ The Boy: So... an "invent-off?" How do they stop you just inventing something, memorising it, and recreating it?
/ Tim: It happens in a junkyard and you can only use what you find. An international jury decide on a theme. / Tim: The important thing to remember is this must take place in ABSOLUTE SECRECY. It's a sacred ceremony, it's not for the common man. / Shelley [[on the phone]]: Tell all, The Boy, what have you found out?
/ They'll be using HAMMERS and possibly SCREWDRIVERS?
/ Call me back when your facts are less FEEBLE. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060626 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[ Tim and The Boy are busy packing the boot of Tim's car.]]
/ Tim: I'm glad that you've agreed to help me with the invent-off, The Boy. I need someone I can trust.
/ The Boy: You can trust me, Tim! / Riley: You're a reliable lad.
/ Riley: Your head can't be turned. / The Boy: So... and "Invent-off?"
/ The Boy: How do they stop you just inventing something, memorising it, and recreating it?
/ Tim: It happens in a junkyard and you can only use what you find.
/ Tim: An international jury decide on a theme. / Tim: The important thing to remember is this must take place in absolute secrecy
/ Tim: It's a sacred ceremony, it's not for the common man. / [[Shelley sits in her office, talking over the phone, and glaring]]
/ Shelley:Tell all, The Boy, what have you found out?
/ Shelley: They'll be using hammers and possibly screwdrivers?
/ Shelley: Call me back when yout facts are less feeble. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060626 |
| Esther objects | The Boy: Erin's sister wants me to be a source on a story, but I have to give up secrets about a friend.
/ Milford: Loose lips sink ships, you know that. / Esther: You didn't say yes did you? You did! I can see that you did! Why, why would you do that? / The Boy: She turned up wearing knee-high boots, hotpants, a little raincoat and sunglasses.
/ Esther: I'm ASHAMED of you.
/ The Boy: I got flustered! Parts of my brain shut down!
/ Esther: HOTPANTS? Extremely ashamed! / Esther: If you don't make things right, I will never talk to you again. I expect better from you! / Oggy: Esther has a LOT of moral fibre.
/ The Boy: Gahhhh.
/ Milford: She's like a taller, smoother Mother Theresa in fishnets. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060627 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: Erin's sister wants me to be a source on a story, but I have to give up secrets about a friend.
/ Milford: Loose lips sink ships, you know that. / Esther: You didn't say yes did you?
/ Esther: You did! I can see that you did!
/ Esther: Why, why would you do that? / The Boy: She turned up wearing knee-high boots, hotpants, a little raincoat and sunglasses.
/ Esther: I'm ashamed of you.
/ The Boy: I got flustered! Parts of my brain shut down!
/ Esther: Hotpants! Extremely ashamed! / Esther: If you don't make things right, I will never talk to you again. I expect better from you! / Unknown spectacled boy: Esther has a lot of moral fibre.
/ The Boy: Gahhhh.
/ Milford: She's like a taller, smoother Mother Theresa in fishnets. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060627 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: Shelley, the thing is, I've thought about it and I can't tell you Tim's secrets.
/ The Boy: It wouldn't... it wouldn't be right.
/ Shelley: Oh... gosh, um, I see, well... oh. / Shelley: You -SNIF- were my only lead and... my editor... she said... / Shelley: Um -SNIF- just give me a second... / The Boy: Uh... I'll... I can... / Shelley: I'm sorry... I just... I really need this job... -SNIF- oh God... / The Boy: Just when I thought I was out... she pulled me back in.
/ The Boy: Don't tell Esther.
/ Milford: Don't worry. No one deserves her skull eye.
/ Milford: She stared out a kid in primary school so hard that his eyelids fused shut. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060628 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The Boy enters Shelley's office.]]
/ Boy: Shelley, the thing is, I've thought about it and I can't tell you Tim's secrets.
/ Boy: It wouldn't ... it wouldn't be right.
/ Shelley: Oh ... gosh, um, I see, well ... oh. / Shelley: You -snif- were my only lead and ... my editor ... she said ... / Shelley: Um -snif- just give me a second ... / Boy: Um ... I'll ... I can ... / Shelley: I'm sorry ... I just ... I really need this job ... -snif- OH GOD ... / [[The Boy leaves the office building, where a schoolmate is waiting.]]
/ Boy: Just when I thought I was out ... SHE PULLED ME BACK IN.
/ Boy: Don't tell Esther.
/ Schoolmate: Don't worry. No one deserves her skull eye.
/ Schoolmate: She stared out a kid in primary school so hard that his eyelids fused shut. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060628 |
| The International Jury arrives | [[at airport]]
/ Riley: ...but who ARE the international jury?
/ Tim: Three inventors of note who judge the invent-off.
/ The Boy: Their plane has landed! They're dis-embarking! / [[dis-embarking plane]]
/ [[a woman in pink, with a neck-scarf and cats'-eye glasses]]
/ Lulu Lautrec. Inventor of "Quantum Handbag Theory."
/ [[a stocky man in an orange "Malibu" shirt and blue cap]]
/ Boris Petrov. Creator of the Utility Cape.
/ [[a slender man with spiky hair and a red "BLAM" shirt]]
/ Buck Newland. The Tennessee Rocket Man. / The Boy: Buck Newland! The guy who actually chipped a bit off the moon!
/ Tim: He's no Lulu Lautrec. / Riley: "The Utility Cape?" That sounds RUBBISH.
/ Tim: Ah, but it was invisible and undetectable by ANYTHING.
/ Riley: So it... didn't exist?
/ Tim: GENIUS. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060629 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: ...But who are the international jury?
/ Tim: Three inventors of note who judge the invent-off.
/ The Boy: Their plane has landed! They're dis-embarking! / Tim (describing jury): Lulu Lautrec. Inventor of "Quantum Handbag Theory."
/ Tim (describing jury): Boris Petrov. Creator of the Utility Cape.
/ Tim (describing jury): Buck Newland. The Tennessee rocket man. / The Boy: Buck Newland! The guy who actually chipped a bit off the moon!
/ Tim: He's no Lulu Lautrec. / Riley: "The Utility Cape?" That sounds rubbish.
/ Tim: Ah, but it was invisible and undetectable by anything.
/ Riley: So it didn't exist?
/ Tim: Genius. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060629 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: My sources tell me that Newton's Junkyard is where the future of this city will be decided. / Mike: So we have a whole day of staring at rusting metal. Great.
/ Shelley: Chin up, Mike! / Shelley: History can't always be bombs and explosions! And they might build something exciting, like flyin' speedboats or rainbow generators. / Mike: You're a bizarre woman.
/ Shelley: I just like things which are interesting! / Inventor Judge: The theme of the invent-off is "strength."
/ Tim: Hmmm.
/ Professor: Hm.
/ Shelley: Booo! No!!! Rainbows! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060630 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: My source tells me that Newton's Junkyard is where the future of this city will be decided.
/ Shelley: And we've got a bird's eye view. / Mike: So we have a whole day of staring at rusting metal. Great.
/ Shelley: Chin up, Mike! / Shelley: History can't always be bombs and explosions! And they might build something exciting, like flyin' speedboats or rainbow generators. / Mike: You're a bizarre woman.
/ Shelley: I just like things which are interesting! / Invert-off Judge: The international jury have decided.
/ Invert-off Judge: The theme for the invent-off is "strength."
/ Tim: Hmmm.
/ Professor Davies: Hm.
/ Shelley: {out of screen} Booo! No!!! Rainbows!!! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060630 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060701">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060701 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The rules, on pain of forfeit! | Leader of the Brotherhood: The invent-off will be played according to the charter of 1679. No books! No outside scholars! You must show your methods! You may not leave the venue, on pain of forfeit! / [[The Boy has his cell phone on.]]
/ Leader of the Brotherhood [[off-panel]]: No gamesmanship, on pain of forfeit! No skylarking, on pain of forfeit! No cribbing, on pain of forfeit! No visitors may be received, on pain of forfeit! / Leader of the Brotherhood [[through Shelley's cell phone]]: The competition ends at sundown! Good luck!
/ [[Mike is munching on a doughnut from Dough-O's.]]
/ Mike: THIS is what the man who runs our city gets up to in his spare time? / Shelley: You have to be pretty weird to want to be in power. [[She snaps her cell phone shut.]] If you didn't start off weird, you end up weird. / Shelley: Being in power is like having a bottomless bottle of tequila that you can't stop drinkin'. Pass me a doughnut, NOW, on pain of FORFEIT! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060703 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim, The Boy, Proffesor Davies, and Olaf stand next to a judge wearing a purple hood and a medallion]]
/ Judge: The invent-off will be played according to the charter of 1679. / No books! No outside Scholars! / You must show your methods! You may not leave the venue, on pain of forfeit! / [[The boy holds a mobile phone behind his back so Shelley can hear]]
/ Judge (out of frame): No gamesmanship on pain of forfeit! / No skylarking on pain of forfeit! / No cribbing on pain of forfeit! / No visitors may be reveibed on pain of forfeit! / [[In a dirty room overlooking the scrap yard. Shelley holds up a mobile phone, Mike is eating doughnuts.]]
/ Phone (Judge): The competition ends at sundown! Good luck!
/ Mike: This is what the man who runs our city gets up to in his spare time? / [[Shelley snaps the phone shut]]
/ Shelley: You have to be pretty weird to want to be in power. / If you didn't start off weird, you end up weird. / Shelley: Beind in power is like having a bottomless bottle of tequila that you can't stop drinkin'. / Pass me a doughnut,on pain of forfeit! / Now. On pain of forfeit! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060703 |
| The world's most violent trebuchet | [[Olaf, The Professor's assistant, is ripping some large piece of machinery out of the ground.]]
/ The BoyThe Boy: Look at that brute Olaf! He was obviously grown in some sort of Communist lab.
/ Tim: Don't worry what the opposition are up to. I have a grand design. The Professor and Olaf are going to spend the rest of their lives feeling extremely mediocre. / Tim: We're going to harness the weird and un-natural power of fulcrums.
/ The Boy: To do what? / Tim: To build the world's most violent trebuchet ever! The idea is to fire a bus-full of simulated cripples into a faux-Lourdes. / The Boy: Tim, there's not a concept in the world that could conceivably beat that! I just hope the jury agrees.
/ Tim: Sixty tortured souls hurtling in a parabolic arc towards miracle healing. I ask you, friend, what's not to agree with? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060704 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: Look at that brute Olaf! He was obviously grown in some sort of Communist lab.
/ Tim: Don't worry what the opposition are up to. I have a grand design.
/ Tim: The Professor and Olaf are going to spend the rest of their lives feeling extremely mediocre. / Tim: We're going to harness the weird and un-natural power of fulcrums.
/ The Boy: To do what? / Tim: to build the world's most violent trebuchet ever!
/ Tim: The idea is to fire a bus-full of simulated cripples into a faux-lourdes. / The Boy: Tim, there's not a concept in the world that could conceivably beat that!
/ The Boy: I just hope the jury agrees.
/ Tim: Sixty tortured souls hurtling in a parabolic arc towards miracle healing.
/ Tim: I ask you, friend, what's not to agree with? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060704 |
| Lunchtime! | [[Esther is behind Erin, clearly miffed.]]
/ Erin: Hi Shelley, we brought you some lunch.
/ Shelley: Mike, this is my sister Erin and her dark ally Esther. This is Mike, he's the tired, worn out journo-hack that cliches are based on! / Shelley: The mayor and a local industrialist are engaged in a weird, arcane ritual. The loser has to leave town forever. The winner gets all his stuff. / Esther: Is this like the Freemasons or something? How did you find this out?
/ Shelley: I have a secret source within the camp. / Mike: She waved her assets at Mayor Jones' gangly assistant and he folded.
/ Shelley: No, it was classy! But my modest clothes were all at the laundrette! / Esther [[through the junkyard fence]]: Hey you! Yeah you, The Boy! Stop pretending you can't hear me! I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking no for an answer! An-grr! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060705 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Erin: Hi Shelley, we brought you some lunch.
/ Shelley: Mike, this is my sister Erin and her dark ally Esther.
/ Shelley: This is Mike. He's the tired, worn out journo-hack that the cliches are based on! / Shelley: the Major and a local industrialist are engaged in a weird, arcane ritual.
/ Shelley: The loser has to leave town forever, the winner gets all his stuff. / Esther: Is this like the Freemasons or something? How did you find this out?
/ Shelley: I have a secret source within the camp. / Mike: She waved her assets at Major Jones' gangly assistant and he folded.
/ Shelley: No, it was classy! But all my modest clothes were at the laundrette! / Esther: Hey you! Yeah you, The Boy! Stop pretending you can't hear me!
/ Esther: I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking no for an answer! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060705 |
| Scary Go Round Thursday July 6th 2006 | Dark Esther: After what I said to you, you still told Shelley all about this?
/ The Boy: I had to! She said she was going to lose her job! / Dark Esther: And I suppose she was wearing a string bikini and cowboy boots when she told you that!
/ The Boy: No! Normal clothes! Normal girl clothes! / Tim: The Boy, could I have a hand over here? This is... pretty heavy.
/ Dark Esther: I thought you were different, but you're just like other boys. Your brain is located midway between your navel and your knees.
/ The Boy: No! Regular place! Regular brain place! / Tim: Owwww! Ow ow ow!
/ The Boy: Tim, what happened? Oh, Jesus, look at your hand! / Tim: No, don't worry, it'll be fine.
/ The Boy: Thank God.
/ Tim: In about six weeks. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060706 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Esther: After what I said to you, you still told Shelley all about this?
/ The Boy: I had to! She said she was going to lose her job! / Esther: And I suppose she was wearing a string bikini and cowboy boots when she told you that!
/ The Boy: No! Normal clothes! Normal girl clothes! / Tim: The Boy, could I have a hand over here? This is... pretty heavy.
/ Esther: I thought you were different, but you're just like all the other boys.
/ Esther: Your brain is located midway between your navel and your knees.
/ The Boy: No! Regular place! Regular brain place! / Tim: Owwww! Ow ow ow!
/ The Boy: Tim, what happened.
/ The Boy: Oh, Jesus, look at your hand! / Tim: No, don't worry, it'll be fine.
/ The Boy: Thank God.
/ Tim: In about six weeks. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060706 |
| It's a coup! | Shelley [[off-panel]]: HOLY MACKEREL AND OTHER SURPRISIN' FISH! That's Elaine Wu sneaking in! / Shelley: Tackleford's most reprehensible political operative! What's her game?
/ Erin: This competition isn't just mindless public school idiocy, is it? It's a coup! / Shelley: Your conspiracy appeals to my ears!
/ Erin: Tim's party are the Scientific Democrats, the political wing of the Brotherhood of Inventors. Maybe they don't like the way he's running things? Tim's the most popular mayor in the city's history, they'd never have got him out of office. / Shelley: Do you see how smart my sister is, Mike? When I was her age I was usually drunk off my bum in a graveyard! / Shelley: This crisis must be averted immediately! We need... A GIANT CROW TO SWWOP DOWN AND SMASH THINGS UP.
/ Erin: That's our Shelley. We're VERY proud of her. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060707 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Elane Wu sneaking in to the scrapyard]]
/ Shelley(out of frame): Holy mackrel and other suprisin' fish! / That's Elane Wu seaking in! / [[Shelley and Erin looking out of the window]]
/ Shelley: Tackleford's most reprehensible political operative! What's her game?
/ Erin: This competition isn't just mindelss public school idiocy, is it? Its a coup! / [[Mike peers out the window using the binoculars]]
/ Shelley: Your consipracy appeals to my ears!
/ Erin: Tim's party are the scientific democrats, the political wing of the brotherhood of inventors. / Maybe they dont like the way he's running things? / Tim'sthe most popular mayor in the citys history. They'd never have got him out of office. / [[Shelley hugs Erin]]
/ Shelley: Do you see how smart my sister is, Mike? / When I was her age I was usually drunk off my bum in a graveyard! / Shelley: This crisis must be averted immediately! / We need... a giant crow to swoop down and smash things up.
/ Erin: That's our Shelley. We're very proud of her. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060707 |
| Serums and Centrifuges and Wu! | Professor Davies: Miss Wu! At last! Do you have the package?
/ Elaine: I've got it Professor. Now remember, a lot of people are relying on you. It's imperative that Tim Jones lose today. / Elaine: There's one vial of your super-health serum, and a centrifuge made from the dashboard of a Ford Anglia to fool the jury. / Professor: Ahh... the die is cast! Soon I will have it ALL!
/ Olaf: Was ist das, Herr Professor? / Professor: Good news, Olaf. While you were welding, I had a sudden burst of the genius for which I am known. The results glisten before you.
/ Shelley [[concealed by a fence and a bus]]: Red Rover, this is Danger Bunny! The OWL is in his TREE! Also, DANGER BUNNY needs a TETANUS SHOT! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060710 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Professor Davies: Miss Wu! At last! Do you have the package?
/ Elaine Wu: I've got it Professor. Now remember. A lot of people are relying on you.
/ Elaine Wu: It's imperative that Jones lose today. / Elaine Wu: There's one vial of the super-health serum, and a centrifuge made from the dashboard of a Ford Anglia to fool the jury. / Professor Davies: Ahh... the die is cast! Soon I will have it all!
/ Olaf: Was ist das, Herr Professor? / Professor Davies: Good news, Olaf. While you were welding I had a sudden burst of the genius for which I am known.
/ Professor Davies: The results glisten before you.
/ Shelley: Red Rover, this is Danger Bunny!
/ Shelley: The owl is in his tree!
/ Shelley: Also, Danger Bunny needs a tetanus shot! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060710 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Erin is looking out the window through binoculars while Mike is on the phone]]
/ Mike: The what? "The scallop is entering the briny deep?"
/ Esther: Psst! Erin! / [[Erin is talking to Esther while Mike is looking through the binoculars now]]
/ Erin: What's going on down there?
/ Esther: I messed up, I messed up really bad. / [[Esther gritting her teeth while Erin consoles her]]
/ Esther: I distracted The Boy and Tim hurt himself.
/ Erin: I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
/ Erin: He'll win. He has a heroic cut to his jib. / [[Esther turns her back to her while Erin prepares to look through the binoculars]]
/ Esther: You could...see bits of the inside of his hand.
/ Erin: Let me ha ve a look. It probably looked worse than it was. / [[Tim bandaging his hand up while scowling at The Boy, who is standing behind him]]
/ The Boy: Please say something, Tim, anything!
/ The Boy: I'm sorry!
/ The Boy: I can punch myself in the face so you don't have to! / [[Esther timidly standing behind Erin, who is still facing the window]]
/ Esther: How bad is it? Is it not that bad?
/ Erin: I think we're out of three-letter word territory, Esther. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060711 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mike: The what? "The scallop is entering the briny deep?"
/ Mike: Shelley, I think the idea with code is that the code is pre-arranged.
/ Esther: Psst! Erin! / Erin: What's going on down there?
/ Esther: I messed up, I messed up really bad. / Esther: I distracted The Boy and Tim hurt himself.
/ Erin: I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
/ Erin: He'll win. He has a heroic cut to his jib. / Esther: You could... see bits of the inside of his hand.
/ Erin: Let me have a look. It probably looked worse than it was. / The Boy: Please say something, Tim, anything!
/ The Boy: I'm sorry!
/ The Boy: I can punch myself in the face so you don't have to! / Esther: How bad is it? Is it not that bad?
/ Erin: I think we're out of three-letter word territory, Esther. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060711 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Inside Newton's junkyard, at the invent-off]]
/ Shelley Winters: Camera phone photos will reveal competition irregularities. / [[Elaine Wu enters through some missing fence boards. Shelley's shirt reads "Tinkles"]]
/ Elaine Wu: Hello... Shelley.
/ Shelley: Elaine Wu! / Elaine: You understand, Shelley, that you can't be allowed to jeopardise the project.
/ [[Shelley shuts mobile with a "snap"]]
/ Shelley: Keep your hands off my justice, Wu! / [[Shelley escapes through missing boards in fence]]
/ Elaine: Give me that phone!
/ Shelley: No! Freedom must stay free! / [[Outside the junkyard is an ashcan and a comatose man]]
/ Elaine: The longer run, the worse you make it for yourself.
/ Elaine: I'm an expert at hurting people very badly!
/ Elaine: I flattened that chump just for whistling out of tune. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060712 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Camera phone photos will reveal competition irregularities. / Elaine: Hello... Shelley.
/ Shelley: Elaine Wu! / Elaine: You understand, Shelley, that you can't be allowed to jeapordise the project.
/ Shelley: Keep your hands off my justice, Wu! / Elaine: Give me that phone!
/ Shelley: No! Freedom must stay free! / Elaine: The longer you run, the worse you make it for yourself.
/ Elaine: I'm an expert at hurting people very badly!
/ Elaine: I flattened that chump just for whistling out of tune. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060712 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Elaine Wu has beaten up Shelley Winters (and done so while wearing heels, no less). Shelly is speaking through a fat lip.]]
/ Elaine: Shelley, why must you choose the hard way? I'm a reasonable woman.
/ Shelly: Jufftiff if tough...fometimeff.
/ Elaine: There'ss always an easy way. / [[Elaine has taken Shelley's phone, which contains photographic proof of Elaine's misdeeds. Esther De Groot appears in the background ]]
/ Elaine: If you'd given me this 15 minutes ago, you'd probably still be recognisable to family members.
/ Esther [with stars of anger dancing about her head]: HAY, LADY! / [[Elaine turns to face Esther. Esther's rage is so great that it is blowing leaves through the air. A 'power' meter appears in front of her, and it is almost totally full.]]
/ Elaine: No I won't go to the shop and buy you some cigarettes, gothy, so... / [[Esther's hands are revealed to be encased in boxing gloves. She knocks Elaine sensless. Leaves are still blowing in the background.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060713 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Elaine: Shelley, why must you choose the hard way? I'm a reasonable woman.
/ Shelley: Jufftiff if tough... fometimeff.
/ Elaine: There's always an easy way. / Elaine: If you'd given me this 15 minutes ago, you'd probably still be recongnisable to family members.
/ Esther: Hay, lady! / Elaine: No I won't go to the shop and buy you some cigarettes, gothy, so... / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060713 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Elaine Wu, is lying on the ground, knocked out by Esther. Esther sits on the ground by her, with Shelley, who has a black eye and torn clothes. Shelley's shattered cell phone is next to them.]]
/ Esther: Holy {{obscenity, blocked out}, Shelley, I hope you know a good lawyer. I wonder how many more people I'll put in hospital today.
/ Shelley: F-F-F-Fone! Get the phone! / Esther: It's knackered! All the guts broke out of it.
/ Shelley: But but but Justiff?
/ Mike: They've stoped the competition early, you need to get back to the lookout...oh no. / Shelley: Why are you 'ookin' aff me vike vat?
/ Mike: You...just look really different without your glasses. / Shelley: Iff it bad? My teef feel ffunny.
/ Mike: I've seen steel drums couldn't take a beating like that. But you should probably cancel any beauty peagants this week. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060714 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Elane Wu lies unconcious on the floor, Esther and Shelly look on, Shelly has been beaten to a pulp.]]
/ Esther: Holy s*** shelly, I hope you know a good lawyer. I wonder how many more people I 'll put in hospital today.
/ Shelly: F-F-F-Fone! Get the phone! / [[Mike and Erin approach Esther and Shelly]]
/ Esther: It's all knackered! All the guts broke out of it.
/ Shelly: But but but justiff?
/ Mike: They've stopped the competition early. You need to get back to the lookout... Oh no. / [[Shelly is still badly beaten. Erin and Mike look at her with concern]]
/ Shelly: Why are you 'ookin' aff me vike vat?
/ Mike: You... just look really, different without your glasses. / Shelly: Iff it bad? My teef feel ffunny.
/ Mike: I've seen steel drums couldn't take a beating like that. But you should probably cancel any beauty pageants this week. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060714 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Semi naked man wearing a hood bangs his gong, judges in background.]]
/ Head Judge: Both contestants have declared their inventions... complete!
/ Please present to the international jury on the theme of "strength"
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060717 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Both contestants have declared their inventions... complete!
/ Please present to the international jury on the theme of "strength".
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060717 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim sits by his failed robot invention.]]
/ The Boy: Come on, Tim. It might be okay. Whatever the professor has invented can't be that impressive. / [[Professor Davies holds up a small vial of pink liquid.]]
/ Davies: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present: VIT-RX! A mixture of scrapyard fungi, rust-borne molds, and naturally occurring brake fluid bacilli! / [[Davies drinks the vial's contents.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060718 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: Come on Tim, it might be okay. Whatever the Professor has invented can't be that impressive. / Professor Davies: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present: VIT-RX
/ Professor Davies: A mixture of scrapyard fungi, rust-borne molds and naturally occuring brake fluid bacilli! / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060718 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Riley talking with Tim, while The Boy fixes his tie in the background]]
/ Riley: You... lost?
/ Tim: I had a lot of bad luck. But his invention was just better. / [[Esther, holding her binoculars, walking and talking with Shelley, who is holding a steak over her eye, with Mike and Erin tagging along in the back]]
/ Esther: He transformed himself into 400lbs of pure muscle!
/ Shelley: Are you sure? Magnification can be confusing!
/ Mike: Isn't that Mayor Jones in the car park?
/ Erin: Leave him alone. Haven't you made enough trouble today? / [[Tim getting into his car with his bandaged hand, stopping to talk to Shelley]]
/ Tim: What happened to you, Shelley?
/ Shelley: Walked into a door. A series of doors. Door Factory. Industrial accident. / [[Tim still standing outside of the car talking to Shelley]]
/ Shelley: What happened to you, Tim?
/ Tim: Fell asleep in a deckchair. Dog mistook my hand for a string of sausages. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060719 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Riley: You... lost?
/ Tim: I had a lot of bad luck. But his invention was just better.
/ The Boy: It was my fault. Tim hurt himself because I wasn't paying attention. / Esther: He transformed himself into 400 lbs of pure muscle!
/ Shelley: Are you sure? Magnification can be confusing!
/ Mike: Isn't that Mayor Jones in the car park?
/ Erin: Leave him alone. Haven't you made enough trouble today?
/ Erin: This was a secret thing, he won't say anything. / Tim: What happened to you, Shelley?
/ Shelley: Walked into a door. A series of doors. Door factory. Industrial accident. / Shelley: What happened to you, Tim?
/ Tim: Fell asleep in a deckchair. Dog mistook my hand for a string of sausages. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060719 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim addresses a crowd from his podium, Professor Dai Davies to his left, Olaf in background]]
/ Tim: ...So for health reasons I will be stepping down as mayor of Tackleford.
/ My recently appointed deputy, Dai Davies, will take over the office for the remainder of my term.
/ Any questions? / [[In the crowd]]
/ Amy: Pssst! I know what you did to Shelley, Elaine.
/ You won't get away with it. / Elaine: I broke that stick insect like fine china.
/ But I would kick you like a football into the sun. / [[After Tim's speech]]
/ Shelley: What did she say?
/ Amy: It didn't go well, not well at all.
/ Shelley: We'll get our own back on that witch for her crimes, Ames. / Amy: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
/ In an anvil shaped bowl.
/ Via the top of the head. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060720 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: ... so for health reasons I will be stepping down as mayor of Tackleford.
/ Tim: My recently appointed deputy, Dai Davies, will take over the office for the remainder of my term.
/ Tim: Any questions? / Amy: Pssst! I know what you did to Shelley, Elaine!
/ Amy: You won't get away with it! / Elaine: I broke that stick insect like fine china.
/ Elaine: But I would kick you like a football into the Sun. / Shelley: What did she say?
/ Amy: It didn't go well. Not well at all.
/ Shelley: We'll get our own back on that witch for her crimes, Ames. / Amy: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
/ Amy: In an anvil shaped bowl.
/ Amy: Via the top of the head. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060720 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Mike sitting at his desk, hanging the phone up. Shelley is sitting on his desk, all bandaged up.]]
/ Mike: Paula wants to see us in her office.
/ Shelley: Mike, I have a nose for the facts and truth.
/ Shelley: And I feel within momens we will be hoisted shoulder high for our journalistic savvy.
/ Shelley: Also, there will be handshakes, pay rises, brio and kudos. / [[Shelley and Mike leaning against the desk in disbelief]]
/ Shelley: What do you mean, you won't run the story?
/ Mike: This is the city's biggest scandal in years! / [[Paula (the editor) sitting at her desk, holding the story in her hands]]
/ Paula: Mike, Shelley, I sympathise.
/ Paula: But we can't print rabid conspiracies and libel. Not without proof. / [[Shelley getting upset, standing behind Paula, while Paula waves the article back at her]]
/ Shelley: It is grammatically very accurate! Check any text book!
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060721 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mike: Paula wants to see us in her office.
/ Shelley: Mike, I have a nose for the facts and truth. And I feel within moments we will be hoisted shoulder high for our journalistic savvy. Also there will be handshakes, pay rises, brio and kudos. / [[In Paula's office]]
/ Shelley: What do you mean, you won't run the story?
/ Mike: This is the city's biggest scandal in years! / Paula: Mike, Shelley, I sympathise. But we can't print rabid conspiracy theories and libel. Not without proof. / Shelley: It is grammatically very accurate! Check any text book!
/ Paula: No one's doubting your punctuation, dear.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060721 |
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