You're browsing the archives of Scary Go Round.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: Are you all right, Rachel? Is David Caruso all right? / The Devil: Don't worry about me, girls, and don't worry about the police.
/ Rachel: What? Why?
/ The Devil: Oh, just consider yourselves... / The Devil: ...off the radar.
/ Rachel: Is that us?
/ Tessa: It looks like us! / Tessa: Rachel, what just happened here??
/ Rachel: Um... an extremely lucky series of coincidences culminating in our scot-free escape? Put it down to good karma built up by recycling glass and paper. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061116 |
| Scary Go Round 20061116 | [[Amid the train wreck, we see Rachel and Tessa. Both are bleeding; Rachel's hood down, she tries to cover up her nose.]]
/ Tessa: Are you all right, Rachel? Is David Caruso all right? / Devil: Don't worry about me, girls, and don't worry about the police.
/ Rachel: What? Why?
/ Devil: Oh, just consider yourselves... / [[He lays down the apparent corpses of Rachel and Tessa, dressed as in the first three comics of SGR.]]
/ Devil: ...off the radar.
/ Tessa: Is that us?
/ Rachel: It looks like us! / [[Sign: "Welcome to WALES"]]
/ Tessa: Rachel, what just happened here??
/ Rachel: Um... an extremely lucky series of coincidences culminating in our scot-free escape? Put it down to good karma built up by recycling glass and paper. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061116 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tessa is standing at a payphone with Rachel standing behing her]]
/ Tessa: I just want to call William and tell him we're all right.
/ Rachel: William... had an accident. / Tessa: What are you talking about?
/ Rachel: He just always seemed... accident prone! / [[We see William tangled up in cables, dead. A coroner holds a pair of giant scissors]]
/ Coroner: Never seen anything like it. Poor lad.
/ Dan: I'll put it down to death by asphixiation... by cables... No... snake bite. Definately a snake bite. / Dan: I worked a lot of long nights before I discovered the staple remover. As far as I'm concerned, snakes have had it far too good for far too long. / Coroner: Why did you become a coroner, Dan?
/ Dan: Chicks. Chicks dig it.
/ [[Dan winks. Two girls are seen swooning]]
/ Girl 1: EE!! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061117 |
| Scary Go Round 20061117 | [[Tessa and Rachel seem to be in the waiting room of a hospital or clinic, where Tessa has been bandaged and Rachel has had some treatment for her nose (plastic surgery?). Tessa picks up a payphone.]]
/ Tessa: I just want to call William and tell him we're all right.
/ Rachel: William... had an accident. / Tessa: What are you talking about?
/ Rachel: He just always seemed... accident prone! / [[We see William, dead, wrapped entirely in blue cables.]]
/ Man with huge shears: Never seen anything like it. Poor lad.
/ Coroner: I'll put it down to death by asphixiation... by cables... no... snake bit. Definitely a snake bite. / [[Coroner brandishes a staple remover as the other man puts William in a bag.]]
/ Coroner: I worked a lot of long nights before I discovered the staple remover. As far as I'm concerned, snakes have had it far too good for far too long. / Man: Why did you become a coroner, Dan?
/ [[Coroner winks.]]
/ Coroner: Chicks. Chicks dig it.
/ [[Two chicks face him in wonderment, with hearts above them. One seems to have an autograph book.]]
/ Chick: Ee! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061117 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Well, I'm sure glad we ended up in Wales. Self-loathing is much easier in a country where everyone hates their existence.
/ Tessa: Wales will bounce back somehow. Welsh people are proud. / Rachel: A nation staring at vacant coalmines like an ex-wife's coat in the cupboard.
/ Tessa: That's beautiful, if factually inaccurate. / Rachel: Yes. They just don't have any money or reason to live right now. Look at these political candidates. / Rachel: Dai Llewellyn, running on a platform of "a pencil for every child". / Rachel: Morwenna Jones, who is against blood-letting and treppaning. Progressive. / Tessa: Dr Howard Lund, who believes "all welshmen should live in one big house to save on heat." Mr Sky, meet Mr Pie.
/ Rachel: I have a plan for this country. Strap on wheels and an engine and drive it into the sea. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061120 |
| Scary Go Round 20061120 | [[Tessa has gotten the mail.]]
/ Rachel: Well, I'm sure glad we ended up in Wales. Self-loathing is much easier in a country where everyone hates their existence.
/ Tessa: Wales will bounce back somehow. Welsh people are proud. / Rachel: A nation staring at vacant coalmines like an ex-wife's coat in the cupboard.
/ Tessa: That's beautiful, if factually inaccurate. / Rachel: Yes. They just don't have any money or reason to live right now. Look at these political candidates. / Rachel: Dai Llewellyn, running on a platform of "a pencil for every child".
/ [[Mailing reads: "LLEWELLYN - WELSH LIBERAL PARTY - I BELIEVE: Reading and writing are fundamental to a child's education - I BELIEVE: all Welsh children should be able to spell their names by age 7"]] / Rachel: Morwenna Jones, who is against blood-letting and trepanning. Progressive.
/ [[Mailing: "Drilling holes in people's heads is an antiquated practice. We need investment in such pills and potions as the druids have decreed are right for the Welsh and..."]] / Tessa: Dr Howard Lund, who believes "all Welshmen should live in one big house to save on heat." Mr Sky, meet Mr Pie.
/ Rachel: I have a plan for this country. Strap on wheels and an engine and drive it into the sea.
/ [[Cereal: "Smile Flakes"]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061120 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Rachel and Tessa are standing in a bathroom, with different hair and wearing new clothes]]
/ Rachel: Perhaps I could make up for my bad deeds by getting behind a candidate for Wales. A new Wales! / Rachel: A political bully-boy who won't take no for an answer from the chinless wonders in Whitehall. / [[Tessa and Rachel are walking down a street]]
/ Tessa: Where are you going to find someone like that?
/ Rachel: Tessa, everybody's luck changes eventually. / Rachel: Even ours! Even Wales!
/ [[In the background there is a green streak from the sky to the ground]]< http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061121 |
| Scary Go Round 20061121 | [[Tessa and Rachel are in the bathroom, in matching red uniforms suggesting menial labor. Rachel is covering up her bandaged nose.]]
/ Rachel: Perhaps I could make up for my bad deeds by getting behind a candidate for Wales. A new Wales! / Rachel: A political bully-boy who won't take no for an answer from the chinless wonders in Whitehall. / Tessa: Where are you going to find someone like that?
/ Rachel: Tessa, everybody's luck changes eventually. / Rachel: Even ours! Even Wales!
/ [[Something big and green plummets into the bushes in the background.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061121 |
| Scary Go Round :: November 22, 2006 | Space Owl: Green issues? I think it is obvious where I stand on green issues. AWK AWK!
/ [[Caption, as on TV: Election 2005 - SPACE OWL - Space Owl Party]] / [[TV is now in the background of the scene]]
/ TV: Space Owl there, who continues to dominate polls with only a week to the election. / Rachel: Space Owl, you're up 2% among former miners and 4% with choristers over 34. / Satan: This couldn't be going better, could it, Rachel? / Rachel: No Donald, it couldn't... oh /no/.
/ Satan: How terribly likely that a candidate would just fall out of the sky like that.
/ Rachel: It could happen! / Satan: And electorates have always been so keen to vote for giant angry green birds!
/ Rachel: He's like asparagus and squid. /Unexpectedly palatable./ http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061122 |
| Scary Go Round 20061122 | [[Space Owl on TV in front of a microphone. Tessa and Rachel in sunglasses behind him. A bar below him reading "Election 2005 - SPACE OWL".]]
/ Space Owl: Green issues? I think it is obvious where I stand on green issues. AWK AWK! / [[Zoom out from the TV to see Tessa and Rachel in the campaign office looking serious. A mostly-green pie chart is displayed.]]
/ TV: Space Owl there, who continues to dominate polls with only a week to the election. / [[Rachel comes up behind Space Owl, who has one eye closed and a worm in his beak.]]
/ Rachel: Space Owl, you're up 2% among former miners and 4% with choristers over 34. / [[Someone tall in a pink shirt, who was standing behind them earlier, puts his hand on Rachel's shoulder. Poster: "Forward with Space Owl"]]
/ Someone: This couldn't be going better, could it, Rachel? / [[We see it's the Devil. Rachel sees too.]]
/ Rachel: No Donald, it couldn't... oh no.
/ Devil: How terribly likely that a candidate would just fall out of the sky like that.
/ Rachel: It could happen! / Devil: And electorates have always been so keen to vote for giant angry green birds!
/ Rachel: He's like asparagus and squid. Unexpectedly palatable. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061122 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Devil: Once our good friend has begun his good works in Wales, I want you back in Tackleford. I need you to coordinate some very important end-times business. / Rachel: And what if I won't do your bidding, big-ears?
/ Devil: Well, er, well... / Devil: Your best pal will get shorter. And a lot less sassy.
/ Tessa: Hey! / Tessa: That wasn't actually Donald from campaign finance, was it?
/ Rachel: Tessa, I tried to be good, but how do you beat the Devil? / Tessa: It involves playing the fiddle until one of you explodes. By one of you, I mean you.
/ Rachel: Fine, fine. I embrace evil then, in all its forms. It makes me tingly. Doing evil is the new "make trade fair". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061123 |
| Scary Go Round 20061123 | [[Tessa, Rachel, and Space Owl are by the campaign bus. The Devil has taken Rachel aside.]]
/ Devil: Once our friend has begun his good works in Wales, I want you back in Tackleford. I need you to coordinate some very important End-Times business. / Rachel: And what if I don't do your bidding, Big-Ears?
/ [[She grabs both his ears.]]
/ Devil: Well, er, well... / [[He grabs oblivious Tessa's head.]]
/ Devil: Your best pal will get shorter - and a lot less sassy!
/ Tessa: Hey! / Tessa: That wasn't actually Donald from campaign finance, was it?
/ Rachel: Tessa, I tried to be good, but how do you beat the Devil? / Tessa: It involves playing the fiddle until one of you explodes. By one of you, I mean you.
/ Rachel: Fine, fine. I embrace evil then, in all its forms. Doing evil is the new "make trade fair". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061123 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: Aren't you coming to the party, Rachel? Space owl just took Ton-Y-Penty! We won!
/ Rachel: I'll be right out.
/ [[Tessa in "2005" glasses holding a bottle of champagne.]] / Devil: So are you ready for the big push?
/ Rachel: Sure, sure. I'm up for evil. In with both feet. / Rachel: Up to the knees, even, if you're willing to provide fishing waders. So what exactly does becoming an avatar of darkness involve? I'm thinking black steed, head-dress, mountaintop pronouncements. Lots and lots of flames.
/ [[Rachel on a black horse, burning buildings in the background.]] / Devil: You're going to be a nun and read a lot of books. There will be some work with homeless people. / Devil: You may have to empty a few bed pans.
/ Rachel: I hate you! I hate everything!
/ Devil: That's my girl.
/ [[Devil climbing down balcony.]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061124 |
| Scary Go Round 20061124 | [[Tessa is wearing festive "2005" glasses and holding a bottle of something. She knocks on Rachel's door.]]
/ Tessa: Aren't you coming to the party, Rachel? Space Owl just took Ton-y-Plenty! We won!
/ Rachel: I'll be right out! / Devil: So are you ready for the big push?
/ Rachel: Sure, sure. I'm up for evil. In with both feet. / Rachel: Up to the knees, even, if you're willing to provide fishing waders. So what exactly does becoming an avatar of darkness involve? I'm thinking black steed, head-dress, mountaintop pronouncements. Lots and lots of flames.
/ [[Illustration of the above.]] / Devil: You're going to be a nun and read a lot of books. There will be some work with homeless people. / [[He vaults jauntily from the balcony.]]
/ Devil: You may have to empty a few bed pans.
/ Tessa: I hate you! I hate everything!
/ Devil: That's my girl. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061124 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: We're almost there Ryan, you'll soon be back in your own trousers.
/ Ryan: It's excitin' imagining where I might live.
/ Mer-man[?]: It'll be some kind of mad mansion what with you being a wild and crazy guy and all. / Amy: Shel, do you have any good techniques for cushioning disappointment?
/ Shelley: We could sing Christmas carols in a high, gay voice! / Shelley: Without a doubt that is a frowner turn upside-downer.
/ Amy: Good, good, like medicine. / [[Door is padlocked with an "Eviction Notice" sign on it.]]
/ Shelley: All the smiles of Christmas, Amy!
/ Amy: Ahh, the active ingredients are shrill warbling and Jesus thoughts. / Amy: Ryan, this is nothing we can't fix with hard cash or hammers.
/ Shelley: (singing) O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, You are extremely pointy http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061127 |
| Scary Go Round 20061127 | [[Shelley, Monty, Amy, Ryan, and Des are going to Ryan's apartment. Shelley and Amy are guiding Monty.]]
/ Shelley: We're almost there Ryan, you'll soon be back in your own trousers.
/ Ryan: It's excitin' imagining where I might live.
/ Des: It'll be some kind of mad mansion what with you being a wild and crazy guy and all. / Amy: Shel, do you have any good techniques for cushioning disappointment?
/ Shelley: We could sing Christmas carols in a high, gay voice!
/ [[Sign: "Under New Management"]] / Shelley: Without doubt that is a frowner turn upside-downer.
/ Amy: Good, good, like medicine. / [[The door is padlocked, with an "Eviction Notice" sign on the door.]]
/ Shelley: All the smiles of Christmas, Amy!
/ Amy: Ahh, the active ingredients are shrill warbling and Jesus thoughts. / Amy: Ryan, this is nothing we can't fix with hard cash or hammers.
/ Shelley: O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, you are extremely pointy http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061127 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Ryan, this is your flat! Isn't it brilliant? Are the memories flooding back?
/ Ryan: So I'm some kind of noble savage, right? Like Stig of the Dump? With the emphasis on "dump" I guess maybe. / Shelley: This is a good place for a boy to live! The couch may seem lumpy but that's because it is the venue for much romance.
/ Amy: Stop that, Shelley, stop being gross. / Shelley: And your pet, your beloved Friend... / Shelley: Friend Bat! Er, Bat Skeleton! / Mer-man[?]: Wow, that's dark. I bet you write horror books, man.
/ Ryan: "Wermlord". "Nethercrest". "Satan's Love Gravy". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061128 |
| Scary Go Round 20061128 | Shelley: Ryan, this is your flat! Isn't it brilliant? Are the memories flooding back?
/ [[Ryan drags a finger through some dust.]]
/ Ryan: So I'm some kind of noble savage, right? Like Stig of the Dump? With the emphasis on "dump" I guess maybe. / Shelley: This is a good place for a boy to live! The couch may seem lumpy but that's because it is the venue for much romance.
/ Amy: Stop that, Shelley, stop being gross. / Shelley: And your pet, your beloved friend... / [[She whisks the cover off Friend Bat's cage and realizes too late that he's dead.]]
/ Shelley: Friend Bat! Er, Bat Skeleton! / Des: Wow, that's dark. I bet you write horror books, man.
/ Ryan: "Wermlord". "Nethercrest". "Satan's Love Gravy". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061128 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: GONE? Gone you say? Gone?
/ Rachel: How can you lose three simpletons in a nunnery? / Rachel: Stop laughing Tessa!
/ Rachel: I'm extremely angry and your Dark Lord and Master is going to be extremely angry! / Tessa: He's not the boss of me, Rachel.
/ Rachel: You don't want his dark plan to succeed, you tourist. / Tessa: Can't you summon up shapeless phantasms to hunt Ryan, the Mer-man and Baldy down?
/ Tessa: Isn't that the "Minion of Hades" way? / Rachel: Tessa, I could have phantasms up in their grills so fast. Crazy fast.
/ Tessa: Go on then.
/ Tessa: Bam! Phantasms! / Rachel: Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.
/ Tessa: Damn. Wasn't that the Manson family motto? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061129 |
| Scary Go Round 20061129 | [[Rachel rages at the nuns, who cower.]]
/ Rachel: GONE? Gone you say? Gone? How can you lose three simpletons in a nunnery? / Rachel: Stop laughing Tessa! I'm extremely angry and your dark Lord and Master is going to be extremely angry! / Tessa: He's not the boss of me, Rachel.
/ Rachel: You don't want his dark plan to succeed, you tourist. / Tessa: Can't you just summon up shapeless phantasms to hunt Ryan, the Mer-Man and Baldy down? Isn't that the "Minion of Hades" way? / Rachel: Tessa, I could have phantasms up in their grills so fast. Crazy fast.
/ Tessa: Go on then. Bam! Phantasms! / Rachel: Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.
/ Tessa: Damn. Wasn't that the Manson family motto? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061129 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Whittler: Sister Nausicaa, don't talk like that.
/ Whittler: Mother Superior's definitely got magic powers.
/ Tessa: I thought she did, Whittler, but now I'm not so sure. / Tessa: She's going to send us to look for some escaped patients tonight, and I say we don't do it.
/ Little Sister of Belial: That's crazy talk! She turned Sister Corrupta into a pillar of salt!
/ Little Sister of Belial: I had to sweep it up! / Sister Tristessa: Sister Corrupta is working at Pret a Manger on Stag Street!
/ Sister Tristessa: She sold me an egg butty.
/ Whittler: This were meant to be a fun order but Mother Superior's ruined it. / Whittler: How much wicker have we got left, Sister Tristessa?
/ Sister Tristessa: Well... Mother Superior's only short... enough for a mini effigy!
/ Whittler: A wicker vole!
/ Tessa: I think I... left the Bible on in my room. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061130 |
| Scary Go Round 20061130 | [[One of the nuns is whittling some animal or demond.]]
/ Whittler: Sister Nausicaa, don't talk like that. Mother superior's definitely got magic powers.
/ Tessa: I thought she did, Whittler, but now I'm not sure. / Tessa: She's going to send us looking for some escaped patients tonight, and I say we don't do it.
/ Unidentified nun: That's crazy talk! She turned Sister Corrupta into a pillar of salt! I had to sweep it up! / Tristessa: Sister Corrupta is working at Pret A Manger on Stag Street! She sold me an egg butty.
/ Whittler: This were meant to be a fun order but Mother Superior's ruined it. / [[They examine a pot full of wood.]]
/ Whittler: How much wicker have we got left, Sister Tristessa?
/ Tristessa: Well... Mother Superior's only short... enough for a mini effigy!
/ Whittler: A wicker vole!
/ Tessa: I think I... left the Bible on in my room. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061130 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Where are the nuns, Tessa?
/ Tessa: Oh thank God you're back, Rachel, thank God! / Tessa: They're up on the heath building a wicker vole...
/ Tessa: We have to get you out of here!
/ Rachel: They'll do what I say! / Tessa: Rachel, shut up! Oh no...
/ Whittler: Don't try to stop us Nausicaa.
/ Whittler: This is a Holy order and she's pissed on our bonfire one too many. / Rachel: Tessaaaaaaa!
/ Whittler: Cheer up, Sister, we've got hot dogs and punch!
/ Sister Tristessa: And a bulk discount on firelighters and charcoal!
/ Sister Tristessa: We spent the savings on kerosene! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061201 |
| Scary Go Round 20061201 | Rachel: Where are the nuns, Tessa?
/ Tessa: Oh thank God you're back, Rachel, thank God! / Tessa: They're up on the heath building a wicker vole... we have to get you out of here!
/ Rachel: They'll do what I say1 / Tessa: Rachel, shut up! Oh no...
/ [[A bunch of nuns come up to them, led by Whittler.]]
/ Whittler: Don't try to stop us, Nausicaa. This is a holy order and she's pissed on our bonfire one time too many. / [[Outside, they are carrying Rachel off to the wicker vole. Whittler is grilling meat, and Tristessa is holding some kerosene.]]
/ Rachel: Tessaaaaaaa!
/ Whittler: Cheer up, Sister, we've got hot dogs, burgers and punch!
/ Tristessa: And a discount on firelighters and charcoal! We spent the savings on kerosene! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061201 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Little Sister of Belial: Stop struggling Mother Superior. Tis a glorious thing to be a sacrifice of Belial.
/ Rachel: Come on, girls. We can work this out.
/ Rachel: What Belial doesn't know won't hurt him!
/ Rachel: Or more importantly, me! / Sister Tristessa: Nausicaa, you've got a face like a smacked bum.
/ Tessa: Mother Superior and I were friends before we signed up.
/ Tessa: I should do something. / Sister Tristessa: We've been pushed around all our lives on the outside.
/ Sister Tristessa: No one does it in here.
/ Whittler: Don't feel guilty.
/ Whittler: If you try anything, we'll all just sit on you until old bossy boots is nice and crispy. / Tessa: I warn you I, I'm freakishly strong.
/ Tessa: It's genetic.
/ Sister Tristessa: And sister Cloris here has been comfort eating since she could say "extra cheese".
/ Sister Cloris: Hey! That's genetic too! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061204 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Whittler [[removing her habit]]: "Come on, get your habit off and get dancing! It's good cardio!"
/ Tessa [[looking miserable]]: I'm going to wait for my hot dog to go down. You know, indigestion. / [[The flames are rising below Rachel]]
/ Rachel: Unholy and terrifying master who art, er, under the Earth's crust... Un-hallowed be thy, uh ...
/ Rachel: Well, this is futile. / [[Rachel sticks her head out of the wicker vole and shouts]]
/ Rachel: Get behind me Satan! With a bucket of water! / [[Tessa is resigned]]
/ Tessa: Well, on the upside, I suppose the apocalypse has been averted. On the down side, I won't see that thirty quid she owed me. / [[Tessa walks away. We can see the other nuns dancing naked n the background. Flames engulf the wicker vole.]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061205 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Sister Whittler: Come on, get your habit off and get dancing! It's good cardio!
/ Tessa (as Sister Nausicaa): I'm going to wait for my hot dog to go down. You know. Indigestion. / Rachel (as Mother Superior): Unholy and terrifying master who art, er, under the earth's crust... Un-hallowed by thy, uh... Well, this is futile. / Rachel (as Mother Superior): GET BEHIND ME SATAN! WITH A BUCKET OF WATER! / Tessa (as Sister Nausicaa): Well, on the upside, I suppose the acopalypse has been averted. On the down side, I won't see that thirty quid she owed me. / [[Tessa, still in her habit, walks away from the burning effigy containing Rachel, while Sister Whittler, Sister Tristessa, and Sister Cloris run away naked.]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061205 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mer-man[Des?]: Shelley, why have you got me trussed up like this? I told you, I don't feel the cold.
/ Shelley: We can't draw attention to you! You're a wanted fugitive for petty shopliftin'! / Mer-man[Des?]: I ain't ashamed of my skin condition, Red Leader.
/ Shelley: I just wish I could help you remember who you are! / Shelley: The sea air is meant to be bracing and restorative.
/ Mer-man[Des?]: I do find it soothin'. / Shelley: Des, why are all those sea critters lookin' at you?
/ Mer-man [Des?]: I dunno! It's all clicks and whistles to me! / Shelley: Now they're swimming away like crazy.
/ Mer-man [Des?]: Maybe they're afraid of hats. It's an alien concept to the average whelk. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061206 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Len Pickering: Well, aren't you going to invite your old dad in for a cup of tea?
/ Amy Chilton: I would, but we've got...fleas! I'm personally infested! / Len Pickering: Haha! Oh!
/ Amy Chilton: Um... This is Monty. / Len Pickering: That's not "Monty"! That's Werner Braun! He's a brilliant academic! / Len Pickering: I sat next to him at a university function! There was nothing he couldn't explain with mashed potato! / Amy Chilton: Dad, he's playing with Bratz. He gurgles a lot. His favourite food is jam. / Len Pickering: Pudding, he's a genius. He probably just needs a rest. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061207 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Len: Well aren't you going to invite your old dad in for a cup of tea?
/ Amy: I would, but we've got...fleas! I'm personally infested. / Len: Haha! Oh!
/ Amy: Umm, this is Monty. / Len: That's not "Monty"! That's Werner Braun! He's a brilliant academic! / Len: I sat next to him at a university function. There was nothing he couldn't explain with mashed potato! / Amy: Dad, he's playing with Bratz. He gurgles a lot. His favorite food is jam. / Len: Pudding, he's a genius. He probably just needs a rest. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061207 |
| Scary Go Round :: December 8, 2006 | [[Marine Biology Lab, Oklahoma U]]
/ Beard Guy: Call for you, Moon.
/ Beard Guy: Sounds British. / Moon: Hello?
/ Shelley: EEE!
/ Shelley: EEEE!!
/ Shelley: EEEEEEE!!
/ Moon: Shelley! / [[The Mayor's Office]]
/ Shelley: Moon! Are you still doin' crimes with your time? / [[Marine Biology Lab, Oklahoma U]]
/ Moon: No, I'm doing marine research at Oklahoma U.
/ Moon: What can i do for you? / [[The Mayor's Office]]
/ Shelley: Moon, do you believe there is such a thing as a mer-man?
/ Shelley: Sort of like the creature from the black lagoon but more cheerful? / [[Marine Biology Lab, Oklahoma U]]
/ Moon: My friend in England says she's going to send me a photo of a mer-man.
/ Beard Guy: I can't wait. Bigfoot, meet your blurrier cousin. / [[Close up of Moon's computer monitor displaying an email containing a photo of Amy and the Mer-Man]]
/ Beard Guy: Woah. That's a lot less blurry than I expected. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061208 |
| Scary Go Round :: December 11, 2006 | [[Ryan's flat]]
/ Amy: We got you a christmas present, Ryan. But you'd better open it now.
/ Shelley: To avert further tragedy! / Ryan: Aw man a new bat!
/ Shelley: His name is comrade bat, but if he bites you a lot, you can change it to enemy bat.
/ Shelley: We felt terrible about the fate of friend bat. He was a simple acorn lover. / Ryan: Did you go into a cave and steal a baby bat?
/ Shelley: No no no! We went to the goth pet shop! / [[Goth pet shop]]
/ Esther: You're sure you want a bat? We've got a special on ravens.
/ Shelley: Ravens ARE nice Esther, but making carrion dinners is hard work.
/ Shelley: Not everyone has time to reach for the trowel every time they spot half a badger. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061211 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: We got you a Christmas present, Ryan, but you'd better open it now.
/ Shelley: To avert further tragedy. / Ryan: Aw man a new bat!
/ Shelley: His name is Comrade Bat, but if he bites you a lot, you can change it to Enemy Bat. We felt terrible about the fate of Friend Bat. He was a simple acorn lover. / Ryan: Did you go into a cave and steal a baby bat?
/ Shelley: No no no! We went to the goth pet shop. / Esther: You're sure you want a bat? We've got a special on ravens.
/ Shelley: Ravens are nice Esther, but making carrion dinners is hard work. Not everyone has the time to reach for the trowel every time they spot half a badger. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061211 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Well Ma, it's real nice of you to take me to see my sister and her smart man friend. / Ma Beckwith: That's all right dear. I'm sure Tim can help you. He's very clever. / Riley Beckwith: Tim, are you sure you can help Ryan get his memory back?
/ Tim Jones: I'm never 100% sure, Riley. There's always the chance he could end up with a head that looks like a flaming pine cone. / Riley Beckwith: Oh, that's reassuring.
/ Tim Jones: There's always a remote chance of anything happening. During the act of a love a jealous goose could fly in the window and savage me. / Riley Beckwith: Why... would that happen?
/ Tim Jones: I've seen the way they look at you. It infuriates me. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061212 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim Jones and Ryan Beckwith are in Tim's workshop]]
/ Tim: So, tell me exactly what's wrong with you.
/ Ryan: I can remember what a table is, or, say, a crow. But I can't remember any of the people or events of life. / Tim: Well, there are two possible things that could have happened. / [[We see a swami in front of a building with minarets. Green waves of power radiate from his turbaned head]]
/ Tim [[in voiceover]]: One, you were hypnotised by a powerful swami. / [[We see Ryan in a pool of water. The pool is surrounded by loudspeakers. All of them are aimed at Ryan.]]
/ Tim [[in voiceover]]: Two, you were reprogrammed by the military.
/ Ryan: Sir yes sir! / [[Tim is putting a metal hat festooned with large connectors onto Ryan's head. There are several mattresses on the wall in the background. Ryan looks a little apprehensive, but perhaps not as apprehensive as he ought to.]]
/ Tim: The good news is, I think this device can help you. It passes huge voltages through your... Well, just put it on. / [[Ryan looks a bit more apprehensive]]
/ Ryan: Volts are good, right? Our friends from nature? / [[Tim and Riley are wearing safety glasses and standing behind a bank of equipment. Tim is reaching for an enormous handle switch.]]
/ Tim: Volts... are all around us.
/ Riley[[interrupting]]: Tim...
/ Tim: Occasionally man and volts have fallen out. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061213 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tim: Okay Ryan! If anything catches fire, just dab it with your damp rag!
/ Ryan: Good oh! Memory lane here I come! / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061214 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: It's pretty wild, Tim gettin' exiled to Wales and you havin' to go with him. A wild set of circumstances and situations! / Ryan Beckwith: He's got a tight pack of allies to assist him. But it seems like everything that could go wrong for him, did. / Riley Beckwith: Look at these! Aren't they pretty?
/ Ryan Beckwith: Almost like someone close to him was underminin' him... So close that even a smart feller wouldn't suspect... / Riley Beckwith: Oh look Ryan, mulled wine! Aren't you extremely thirsty?
/ Ryan Beckwith: I'm gonna solve this one, sis. You can't say "conspiracy" without "piracy" and they can still hang you for that. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061215 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Comrade Bat: Eek!
/ Ryan: I know Christmas is excitin' but we gotta work out this conspiracy. Detective work usually leads to a kickin' or two so I stocked up on elastoplasts and savlon. / [Ryan's notebook]
/ Amy Chilton (Sexy ingrate)
/ WHY: Not really got a reason (Hormones?)
/ WHY NOT: Longs to be made an honest woman by (local man) Tim Jones.
/ The Boy (Nameless sub-man)
/ WHY: Hot feelings for Amy [arrow drawn to above entry]
/ WHY NOT: Hot feelings for Princess Anne / [Ryan's notebook]
/ Shelley Winters (small + attractive ally)
/ WHY: Longs to regain power of the Mayor's office
/ WHY NOT: Much too confused for complex scheme
/ Len Pickering (College professor friend)
/ WHY: Jealous of Tim's lush hair
/ WHY NOT: Tim provides vital gateway to the world of the quite young / [Ryan's notebook]
/ Esther De Groot (Darkling teenager)
/ WHY: Teen-ager's natural hatred of authority figures
/ WHY NOT: Teen-ager's natural hatred of un-necessarily raising a dang finger
/ Rich Tweedy (Former friend)
/ WHY: Past form of girlfriend stealing cheating ways
/ WHY NOT: Almost certain fear of bodily set to with fists + feet / [Ryan's notebook]
/ Riley Beckwith (Wife to be + drains expert)
/ WHY: Hates Tackleford, dislikes Tim's "idiot friends" which is harsh you just gotta get to know them
/ WHY NOT: A lady's natural respect for her lover-man and / Comrade Bat: Eek!
/ Ryan: "Natural respect"? That's a dog's egg of a reason, ain't it. Sister Beckwith's a tough scrapper. No sympathy for the raised seat or impromptu Dutch oven. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061218 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Riley, can you help me? I'm tyin' up some loose ends on "who cost Tim his job and sent him into Welsh exile." I just need a real good reason why you wouldn't do it. / Riley Beckwith: I love Tim! He's my special guy! / Ryan Beckwith: Well, yeah, I thought of that. But you kind of love him better here, what with him not bein' mayor. / Ryan Beckwith: I put it to you Riley Beckwith, that you set this whole deal up!
/ Riley Beckwith: I'd do anything to take it back! It seemed like the right thing to do at the time! / Ryan Beckwith: You gots to tell him. You can't marry a feller when you been feedin' him lie pie for months.
/ Riley Beckwith: But he'd leave me! It's such a hag thing to do! And it wasn't all lie pie. I'm like lie pie with ice cream! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061219 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Winters: What? Riley set up Tim? She made the inventors turn on him and chuck him out of town? That is pure madness! / Ryan Beckwith: Then Tim said he'd worked it out ages ago and didn't mind. Because bein' mayor was crummy. Then they looked at each other like a dog looks at a string of sausages so I got out quick. / Shelley Winters: Well those are sterling works, Ryan. Columbo and Angela Lansbury would be proud. Yes goodnight and a happy Christmas to you too! / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061220 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: What? Riley set up Tim?
/ She made the inventors turn on him and chuck him out of town?
/ That is pure madness! / Ryan: Then Tim said he'd worked it out ages ago and didn't mind.
/ Because bein' mayor was crummy.
/ Then they looked at each other like a dog looks at a string of sausages so I got out quick. / Shelley: Well those are sterling works, Ryan. Columbo and Angela Lansbury would be proud.
/ Yes goodnight and a happy Christmas to you too! / [[Ryan lights a cigarette]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061220 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: "Dang, Tim, some say Wales ain't the best but you can take a shine to these valleys."
/ Tim Jones: "I'm just glad you survived this year to make it up here." / Ryan Beckwith: "Thanks for lettin' my sister off for her sins. She's a good girl apart from her crazer tendencies."
/ Tim Jones: "It was time to leave Tackleford. We all have to move on eventually." / Ryan Beckwith: "I just hope next year is better for me. Fancier smells, less personal injury."
/ Tim Jones: "Just grab your chances with both hands, friend! What's the worst that could happen?" / Ryan Beckwith: "I'll do it, Tim. I'll take those chances. When a crocodile passes by, I'll jump on its back and take a ride!"
/ Tim Jones: "Avoid crocodile-related chances." http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061221 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Dang, Tim, some say Wales ain't the best but you can take a shine to these valleys.
/ Tim: I'm just glad you survived this year to make it up here. / Ryan: Thanks for lettin' my sister off for her sins.
/ Ryan: She's a good girl apart from her crazer tendencies.
/ Tim: It was time to leave Tackleford. We all have to move on eventually. / Ryan: I just hope next year is better for me.
/ Ryan: Fancier smells, less personal injury.
/ Tim: Just grab your chances with both hands, friend!
/ Tim: What's the worst that could happen? / Ryan: I'll do it, Tim. I'll take those chances.
/ Ryan: When a crocodile passes by, I'll jump on its back and take a ride!
/ Tim: Avoid crocodile-related chances. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061221 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Grim Reaper: Quit foolin' with that thing and and help with the tree.
/ Natalie: 'Ush, you. It is my new friend. My friend bat. / Natalie: 'E was my beloved's pet. I must take care of 'im.
/ Moustached Grim Reaper: Nog! Hot Nog! / Natalie: Good God! What is in zis nog?
/ Moustached Grim Reaper: Sticks! / Grim Reaper: Augh. Is this a tadpole?
/ Natalie: Even Baby Jesus 'imself would not forgive ze frogspawn. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061222 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Death: Quit foolin' with that thing and help with the tree.
/ Natalie: 'ush, you. It is my new friend. My Friend Bat. / Natalie (looking in a mirror that shows her reflection as both Skull Natalie and Mary the Drowned): 'e was my beloved's pet. I must take care of 'im.
/ Old Man Death: NOG! Hot nog! / Natalie: Good God, old man, what is in zis nog?
/ Old Man Death: Sticks! / Death (looking traumatized): Augh. Is this a tadpole?
/ Natalie: Even baby Jesus 'imself would not forgive ze frogspawn http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061222 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Reviews John A's Top 20 Albums of the Year 2006
/ She has a musicologist's ear for drones
/ Today: 20-17 / 20. OVER AND OVER - Erin Bode
/ Erin Bode is a lady from the broad church of jazz. Sometime jazz is about atonal hooting, but this is more about everyone having some chops but not feeling the need to improvise until someone feels sick (it happens!) These are tasteful jams for your "supper club" designed to make you feel nice even if you're a penniless hobo bum. / 19. THE BEAUTIFUL LIE - Ed Harcourt
/ In terms of rock hair, Ed Harcourt is number 1; it is lush and thick like a horse's mane. He has a voice like plum pudding and he employs it to tell the world how everything is just terribly awful, that he has a broken cigarette hanging out of his mouth and that his piano will be taken away in the morning by the bank. Sadly it is no longer the seventies, if it was he would be a millionaire. / 18. LET'S GET OUT OF ECOUNTRY - Camera Obscura
/ North of the border is Scotland, a country with a rich musical heritage, from the bagpipes to Sheena Easton. At the exact midpoint between the two are Camera Obscura, a band whose perky indie tunes are guaranteed to delight and unlikely to offend. Their big song is about Lloyd Cole, who was like an Ed Harcourt for the eighties and suffered the same problem with it not being the seventies. You get the picture. / 17. STARRING SOMEONE LIKE YOU - The Tiny
/ In an era of chest-thumpin' rock 'n roll squalor, it is good to have a group who sound like they tidy up after themselves. The Tiny have songs that start small but pretty soon they have got some strings out and taken you on an epic travelogue of their minds. There are "arrangements" and a lady singing in the best way. Even the cover suggests that they would not be seen dead at a Bromhead's Jacket gig. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061225 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley Reviews John A's Top 20 Albums of the Year 2006
/ Merzbow is Shelley's new master
/ Today: 16-13 / 16. CITRUS - Asobi Seksu
/ What on earth is the lady in Asobi Seksu singing about? It could be Japanese, or Moon-man language, or she might just be over-excited. It's probably just rude so she's singing it in a way her mum cannot understand. She need not worry because no one's mum like shoegazing music. Mums are not up for sonic cathedrals and effects pedals. / 15. THE LEMONHEADS - The Lemonheads
/ The last time a Lemonheads record came out, it was 1945 and there was a war on. Now Evan Dando is back with some tough punks in the band to hide the fact he is a big jessie. Well hard luck, Evan Dando, even when the man from Dinosaur Jr is playing solos in a wind tunnel, we can still tell you wrote the songs sucking a straw in a field while smoking a doobie with an Australian hippie. / 14. MODERN TMIES - Bob Dylan
/ Bob Dylan is a living legend, traveling round the world on his never ending tour in order to (possibly_ complete his collection of rare birds' eggs. Most living legends make horrible records but this is a good one, Dylan is feeling mellow and extremely intent that you should have a good time listening to his music. In one sense it is just some chooglin' blues but he still has some fairy dust to delight us all. / 13. A BLESSING AND A CURSE - Drive By Truckers
/ If I am not mistaken, the Drive By Truckers are horny-handed types from the "dirty" south on a mission to rock the place, the place being a bar full of "dudes" who have had a "hard day" and now swish to drink some "weak domestic beer". Someone will probably play some pool and a lady will walk in in cut off shorts and a stars and stripes bikini top. Sooner or later there is going to be a fight! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061226 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley reviews John A's Top 20 Albums of the Year 2006
/ The MtEerie Project stole all her ideas / Today: 12-9 / 12. WHITE BREAD< BLACK BEER - Scritti Politti
/ In the 70s Scritti Politti were anarcho punks, in the 80s smooth synth stockbrokers, and in the 90s fooled around with rap sounds. In the modern age, the man is still singing with his pretty voice but his songs are extremely gentle. This is his first record since 1999 so maybe he is just warming up and the next one will be death metal drillcore. / 11. HOWLING BELLS - Howling Bells
/ Australian bands have a good sound, the sound of living free while upside down. The sound of wide open spaces and often not needing an umbrella! The Howling Bells convey all these feelings, it is "sweeping music" which invariable means that no one is in a hurry. In musical terms it is the sound of a taxi cab pulling into town with a ghost in it. / 10. ESPERS II - Espers
/ Pixies, gnomes, goblins and moon-calves are under-represented in modern music, but Espers have a plan which involves wearing a knitted poncho and singing about some trolls. All the while there are some folk ideas going on and is serene. Ten suddenly the troll is FURIOUS and guitars are SCREAMING and hippies nationwide are EXCITED. This is music for a relaxing afternoon with some local witches. / 9. THE CRANE WIFE - The Decemberisits
/ These are golden times because every year there is a new Decemberists album and if every song isn't amazing you don't have to be cross because you know they have plenty more. Colin Meloy is still singing down his nose and the words are still about ships and flags and telescopes. Complaining about this is like complaining about the size of your hands: you are going to have to put up with it. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20061227 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 >>