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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Desmond, Gibbous, and Ernest outside of Shelley's apartment building. Desmond is carrying a large dark end-handled piece luggage while wearing a sweater of broad tan and turquoise stripes. Gibbous has a light gray case slung over her left shoulder, wearing a dark blue fleece-lined hoodie. Ernest wearing a utility-pocket vest over a thick blue shirt. Presumably, based on Ernest and Desmond's clothing, it is later that night]]
/ Gibbous: [[to Ernest]] Well that was sure the weirdest meeting I've ever been to. How long has ginger been off her medication?
/ Ernest: Aye, she has a wild cast about her pretty eyes. / Ernest: [[To both Gibbous and Desmond]] But what have we to lose finding this beast, this "kraken"? / Desmond: [[distraught]] A leg? An eye? Some blood?
/ Gibbous: [[teasingly]] If you lost a leg, Des, it might even grow back!
/ Ernest: [[agreeing]] Arr. / [[The trio are now on the docks with the same clothing and carry-ons]]
/ Ernest: There is money in the capture of such a fish.
/ Gibbous: Yeah! And think of what we can learn! Failing all else, it's probably good eats!
/ Desmond: [[straining with concentration]] Grrrr... come on Des. How hard can it be to squirt ink? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070321 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Moon: Well that was sure the weirdest meeting I've ever been to.
/ How long has Ginger been off her medication?
/ Cromerty: Aye, she has a wild cast about her pretty eyes. / Cromerty: But what have we to lose finding this beast, this "kraken"?
/ Desmond: A leg? An eye? Some blood?
/ Moon: If you lost a leg, Des, it might even grow back!
/ Cromerty: Arr. / Cromerty: There is money in the capture of such a fish.
/ Moon: Yeah! And think of what we can learn!
/ Failing all else, it's probably good eats!
/ Desmond: Grrr... come on Des, how hard can it be to squirt ink? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070321 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Morning on Ernest's ship. Gibbous is awakening and wearing a red t-shirt under a slightly ratty oversized turquoise sweater that seems to be doubling as a sleeping gown, Ernest is already up and working on a map with a compass and a jeweler's eye]]
/ Ernest: Rested are ye, lass?
/ Gibbous: Yawn! I suppose!
/ Ernest: Good! We make sail for Orkney at 1030hrs. / Gibbous: [[pouring herself a large mug of coffee]] Ernest, what do you think Desmond is? Is he really a mer-man? / Ernest: Who's to know, Miss Moon. Perhaps he's the last of his kind, or a primitive throwback...or an idiot son, cast out! / [[Desmond enters after catching the tail end of the conversation, bearing a toothbrush and towel while wearing a dark blue bathrobe]]
/ Desmond: [[annoyed to Gibbous]] Listen, Moon. I'm just a guy. A guy with skin problems.
/ Gibbous: And no ears, darlin'. And scales. And a fin. / Desmond: [[slicking back his fin as if it were a pompadour]] That's my look, Magic Knickers. Streetwise psychobilly. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070322 |
| Scary Go Round 20070322 | [[Aboard the Lady Elaine, Moon emerges from her cabin. Ernest is going over a chart with a compass.]]
/ Ernest: Rested are ye, lass?
/ Moon: YAWN! I suppose!
/ Ernest: Good! We make sail for Orkeny at 1030hrs. / [[She pours some coffee.]]
/ Moon: Ernest, what do you think Desmond is? Is he really a mer-man? / Ernest: Who's to know, Miss Moon. Perhaps he's the last of his kind, or a primitive throwback... or an idiot son, cast out! / [[Enter Des, in a bathrobe with towel and toothbrush.]]
/ Des: Listen, Moon, I'm just a guy, a guy with skin problems.
/ Moon: And no ears, darlin'. And scales. And a fin. / Des: That's my look, magic knickers. Streetwise psychobilly. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070322 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Desmond: This is a nice boat man.
/ Desmond: All the home comforts like a chimney and windows. / Ernest Cromerty: The Lady Elaine is not just a "Nice boat, man".
/ Ernest Cromerty: It's a fully submersible research station and action platform.
/ Ernest Cromerty: It runs on solar energy and renewable biomass, arr! / Desmond: What does this button do?
/ Gibbous Moon: I think it gets you beaten up with a boathook. / Desmond: What about this one?
/ Gibbous Moon: Exactly the same thing.
/ Desmond: Well that's not economical use of cabin space. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070323 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Des: This is a nice boat, man. All the home comforts, like a chimney and windows. / Ernest: The Lady Elaine is not just a "nice boat, man". It's a fully submersible research station and action platform. It runs on solar energy and renewable biomass, arr! / [[Des approaches a complicated console]]
/ Des: What does this button do?
/ Moon: I think it gets you beaten up with a boathook. / Des: What about this one?
/ Moon: Exactly the same thing.
/ Des: Well that's not economical use of cabin space. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070323 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Aseal on the Lady Elaine, Ernest and Gibbous in the wheel-room as Desmond fishes over the side, wearing his two-tone sweater from before]]
/ Ernest: So what exactly be we lookin' for, Miss Moon?
/ Gibbous: Well Ernest, anything! / [[Gibbous looks through a book, "Sea Lore", wearing the dark blue fleece-lined hoodie from before]]
/ Gibbous: [[to Ernest]] "Kraken" describes almost any unexplained sea creature that wrecks ships. / Gibbous: [[now consulting "Orkney: Now & Then"]] The Orkney Kraken claimed hundreds of fishing boats from when records began...through to the 1940s.
/ Ernest: Perchance it did not meet with Hitler's aryan theme. Fell afoul of a panzer sub. / [[Gibbous is now on deck with Ernest fading out of scene and Desmond now in scene. Desmond is apparently chatting with a fish he has in his hands]]
/ Gibbous: There have been sightings since, usually attributed to drunks and time wasters. Des, quit foolin' with that poor fish!
/ Desmond: [[to fish]] It's huge, you say? And it's got horns? No I don't want to meet your sister! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070326 |
| Scary Go Round 20070326 | [[The Lady Elaine is landing at Orkney.]]
/ Ernest: So what exactly be we lookin' for, Miss Moon?
/ Moon: Well Ernest, anything! / [[Ernest is at the helm. Moon has a big book titled "Sea Lore."]]
/ Moon: "Kraken" describes almost any unexplained sea creature that wrecks ships. / Moon: The Orkney Kraken claimed hundreds of fishing boats from when records began... through to the 1940s.
/ Ernest: Perchance it did not meet with Hitler's Aryan theme. Fell afoul of a Panzer sub. / [[She now has a book titled "Orkney: Now & Then."
/ Moon: There have been sightings since, usually attributed to drinks and time wastes. Des, quit foolin' with that poor fish!
/ [[Des has a fish in his hands, which has its mouth wide open.]]
/ Des: It's huge, you say? And it's got horns? No I don't want to meet your sister! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070326 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Un-named proprietor for the B&B "The Lass o' Gowrie" speaks to Desmond, Ernest, and Gibbous upon their arrival to Orkney Island. The sign for the inn bears a picture of the eponymous lass, looking sullen and carrying a carrot]]
/ Proprietor: So whut brings ye t'Orkney? / [[Proprietor shows the trio to their room, Gibbous in the lead with her dark blue hoodie, Ernest now wearing his utility-vest again, Desmond in his sweater with a hunter's cap covering most of his head]]
/ Ernest: `Tis a mission of science. My crew and I are cataloguin' rare species in northern waters.
/ Gibbous: The Shuttling Peregrine. The North Sea Candle. The Idiot Duck.
/ Proprietor: I'm sure many in town can assist you. Here's yer room. / [[Later, at the front desk, the proprietor is speaking on the phone with a Kraken calendar on the wall in the background]]
/ Proprietor: Outsiders, Laird, yes! An old man, and American woman, and...
/ Desmond: [[approaching without hunter's cap]] Excuse me. The buttons in my sewing kit are insufficiently fancy. / [[Proprietor resumes telephonic conversation, a bag marked 'Fancy Buttons' now upon the desk as Desmond contently exits with a sparkley red button in-between his fingers]]
/ Proprietor: I have no idea what the third one is. Perhaps an exceptional tropical bird. or a "French Canadian". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070327 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ernest and co. arrive at The Lass o' Gowrie hotel. The boarder greets them.]]
/ Neville: So whut brings ye t'Ornkey? / Ernest: 'Tis a mission of science. My crew and I are cataloguin' rare species in Northern waters.
/ Moon: The Shuttling Peregrine. The North Sea Candle. The Idiot Duck.
/ Neville: I'm sure many in town can assist you. Here's yer room. / [[Neville uses the telephone privately]]
/ Neville: Outsiders, laird, yes! An old man, an American woman and...
/ Des: Excues me. The buttons in my sewing kit are insufficiently fancy. / Neville: I have no idea what the third one is. Perhaps an exceptional tropical bird. Or a "French Canadian". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070327 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[In the pub of the Lass o' Gowrie. The proprietor is also the innkeeper, two red-haired youths are getting pints, while a stein-bearing Ernest is handing Gibbous a bottle. Ernest is still in his red shirt, Gibbous in a red "Shazam" T-shirt with a dark blue jacket open over it]]
/ Proprietor: Now Tam, Sam, none of your trouble, lads.
/ Youth in Green: {{to be revealed as "Sam" in the next day's episode, his brother "Tam" in a blue shirt}} Aw, there'll be no trouble Neville.
/ Gibbous: No Ernest, I won't have a drink. I don't...
/ Ernest: Arr, sailors must bond over grog! / [[Clock on the wall shows it's 7:00 pm]]
/ Ernest: Tis the way of the sea! And tis only a babycham.
/ Gibbous: Well... ok... / [[Later, Gibbous is now seated with her jacket off. A coaster has been strapped to her head as an eyepatch and the babycham has obviously (by the red boozle effects) gone to her head]]
/ Gibbous: [[drunken raving]] We'll find that freakn' kraken...lash that melon farmer to the mast...an' make every barnacle from here to hull poo their pants gosh darnit... / [[Gibbous falls out of her chair. From a different angle we see Ernest looking curiously annoyed over his shoulder towards her while Desmond looks happily more with-it than Gibbous, a martini close at hand. The clock on the wall now shows 7:12 pm]]
/ Gibbous: An' wasss more...
/ Ernest: She sure don't look like a sailor. She sure don't drink like a sailor. She sure don't curse like a sailor.
/ Desmond: Maybe your can mentor her! Or leave her on an island where no one can find her! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070328 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Neville (barkeep): Now Tam, Sam, none of your trouble, lads.
/ Sam: Aw, there'll be no trouble, Neville.
/ Moon: No Ernest, I won't have a drink, I don't...
/ Ernest: Arr, sailors must bond over GROG! / Ernest: Tis the way of the sea!
/ Ernest: And tis only a babycham.
/ Moon: Well... OK... / [[Moon is now drunk and wearing a makeshift beer coaster eyepatch]]
/ Moon: We'll find that freakin' KRAKEN...
/ Moon: ...lash that melon farmer to the mast...
/ Moon: ...an' make every barnacle from here to Hull poo their pants gosh darnit... / [[Moon has tipped her chair backwards and is speaking from the floor]]
/ Moon: An' wasss more...
/ Ernest: She don't look like a sailor, she don't drink like a sailor.
/ Ernest: She sure don't CURSE like a sailor.
/ Desmond: Maybe you can mentor her!
/ Desmond: Or leave her on an island where no one can find her! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070328 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[In the pub part of the Lass o' Gowrie, Gibbous now seated upright again with Desmond and Ernest, although still quite drunk based on the red boozles floating about her head]]
/ Ernest: [[getting up and walking off]] I got to see a small man about an inexpensive dog. / [[The two red-haired youths talk by the dartboard, obviously inebriated based on their own red floating boozle-effects]]
/ Sam: [[in green]] Talent at two o'clock, Tam.
/ Tam: [[in blue]] Ey sam ah saw'er first. / [[Sam and Tam join Gibbous and Desmond]]
/ Tam: [[hauling Desmond out of his seat by his sweater-collar]] `Op it, froggy.
/ Sam: [[to Gibbous, leeringly]] Tell me, darlin. Did ye hurt yersel' when ye fell from the sky?
/ Gibbous: [[annoyed]] Hey... don't talk to my buddy like that... / Sam: [[still leering]] Ah'm Sam and this is M'Brother, Tam.
/ Gibbous: [[still annoyed]] Sam sweetheart, I think you have somethin' on your nose. / [[Sam is sent flying across the room, launched mid-air by Gibbous]]
/ Desmond: What an unusual phenomenon! Someone should note this down.
/ Gibbous: [[off-screen]] Tam honey, I think your shoelace is undone. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070329 |
| Scary Go Round 20070329 | Ernest: I got to see a small man about an inexpensive dog. / Sam: Talent at two o'clock, Tam.
/ Tam: Ey Sam ah saw'er first. / [[Sam and Tam move to Moon's table. Tam jerks Des up out of his chair, and Sam sits down.]]
/ Tam: 'Op it, froggy.
/ Sam: Tell me, darlin, did ye hurt yersel' when ye fell from the sky?
/ Moon: Hey... don't talk to my buddy like that... / Sam: Ah'm Sam and this is m'brother, Tam.
/ Moon: Sam sweetheart, I think you have somethin' on your nose. / [[Sam goes flying through the air.]]
/ Des: What an unusual phenomenon! Someone should note this down.
/ Moon: Tam honey, I think your shoelace is undone. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070329 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Moon brandishes a chair]]
/ Moon: Any more o' you hicks want to ride the lightnin'?
/ I'm just gettin' warmed up!
/ Laird of Stromness: This stops right now, young lady. / Moon: Wait yer turn, Mr "Mustache rides five cents"
/ I'll clean your clock once I'm done whippin' these boys. / [[Sam and Tam turn to leave]]
/ Moon: Where are they goin'?
/ Come back, jerks! / Publican: This is the laird of the island, miss. Show the proper respect.
/ [[Cromerty and Desmond escort Moon away]]
/ Moon: So are ya the last person in the world still wearin' a cape?
/ Or are ya tryin' to bring it back? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070330 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Still in the pub of the Lass o' Gowrie. Gibbous is swinging a chair about while Tam is holding a hand to his bloody nose, and Sam is missing teeth, bleeding from his own nose as well, and bearing a broken bottle as a weapon.]]
/ Gibbous: [[angrily and drunkilly]] Any more o' you hicks want to ride the lightnin'? I'm just getting warmed up!
/ Off-Screen Gentleman: This stops right now, young lady. / [[Gentleman is now on-screen -- red hair that matches Tam and Sam, mustache and sideburns, a tartan cape clasped about his neck and shoulders. Clock on the wall now reads 7:55 pm]]
/ Gibbous: [[poking the gentleman in the chest with her finger]] Wait yer turn, Mr. "Mustache Rides Five Cents". I'll clean your clock once I'm done whipp'n these boys. / [[Sam and Tam warily exit, getting a stony paternal glare from the gentleman]]
/ Gibbous: Where are they goin'? Come back, jerks! / [[Desmond and Ernest worriedly lead a still drunk and riled Gibbous back to their rooms. The Proprietor, Neville, standing aside the gentleman]]
/ Neville: [[irately]] This is the laird of the island, Miss. Show the proper respect.
/ Gibbous: [[to the gentleman]] So are ya the last person in the world still wearin' a cape Or are ya tryin' to bring it back? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070330 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070401">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070401 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ernest helps Gibbous to bed due to her drunken state, head emitting floating red boozles. Desmond follows behind them, not being much help]]
/ Desmond: Old Moony's in trouble, eh? She's flipping crazy! We should ditch her and restore sanity to the mission. / Ernest: [[annoyed]] Maybe twas the grog, but Miss Moon fights with the courage of three men! Yet you left `er to it. You're yellow, y'waste o' good air!
/ Desmond: [[distressed]] Don't sugar the pill, man! Say what you mean! / [[Cut to next morning. Gibbous awakes in the Shazam/Cpt.Marvel T-shirt from the night before]]
/ Gibbous: [[stretching]] I must have been tired last night...I didn't even bother getting undressed. / [[She heads out to the washroom, towel and toothbrush in hand. Looking down at the floor just inside her room's door]]
/ Gibbous: Oh, someone's left a note. / Gibbous: [[reading the note]] "The Laird of Stromness invites you to lunch at Stromness Keep." How interesting! / Gibbous: [[opening a wet window and now without towel, toothbrush, or note. Presumably prepping pre-shower]] Wait, do I have to curtsy or salute? Or just kinda fawn and toady a bit? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070402 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ernest lays passed-out Moon down on her bed. Desmond behind.]]
/ Desmond: Old Moony's in trouble, eh?
/ Desmond: She's flipping crazy! We should ditch her and restore sanity to the mission. / Ernest: Maybe twas the grog. But Miss Moon fights with the courage of three men! Yet you left 'er to it. You're yellow, y'waste o' good air!
/ Desmond: Don't sugar pill, man! SAY WHAT YOU MEAN! / [[Morning. Moon waking up cheerily.]]
/ Moon: I must have been tired last night...
/ Moon: ...I didn't even bother getting undressed. / [[Moon passes her door.]]
/ Moon: Oh. Someone's left a note. / Moon: "The Laird of Stromness invites you to lunch at Stromness Keep". How INTERESTING. / Moon: Wait. Do I have to curtsy or salute? Or just kinda fawn and toady a bit? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070402 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: I'm bored. The petrifying well wasn't as terrifying as advertised. / Can't you, you know, teach me some SPELLS. You are a witch! / Mother Shipton: Magic is not for spoiled little girls! You must have the mark! THE SIGN! / Amy: I can give you some beauty tips... maybe we can do something with THAT HAIR.
/ Mother Shipton: Magic is within...GET OFF ME, YOU PAINTED TROLLOP! / Mother Shipton: STOP TALKING ALL THE TIME! Get thee to SPAR! Get sausage rolls for our TEA!
/ Amy: It's just a matter of BODY AND LIFT, Mother Shipton. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070403 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: I'm bored. The petrifying well wasn't as terrifying as advertised.
/ Amy: Can't you, you know, teach me some spells? You are a witch!
/ Mother Shipton: Magic is not for spoiled little girls! You must have the mark! The sign!
/ Amy: I can give you some beauty tips... maybe we can do something with that hair.
/ Mother Shipton: Magic is within... get off me, you painted trollop!
/ Mother Shipton: Stop talking all the time! Get thee to Spar! Get sausage rolls for our tea!
/ Amy: It's just a matter of body and lift, Mother Shipton. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070403 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy Chilton, internalized: Stupid witch. "Magic is within". I could do spells!
/ Come on Amy, cheer up. This is like community service. / Amy Chilton, internalized: Except the community is a cave with a mad old woman in it. / [[Store Window: Help The Wretched]]
/ Amy Chilton: The Charity Shop! I can cheer up the cave with some old tat! To Mother Shipton it'll seem deliciously futuristic! / Amy Chilton: 'Help The Wretched' is a treasure trove of utter shit!
/ Maud (old woman employee #1): What do you think, Ethel? 8p?
/ Etheth (old woman employee #2): For crying out loud, maud, think of the wretcherd, won't you? 10p. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070404 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{ "Thought bubble" boxes transcribed in parentheses. }}
/ [[Amy walking around town.]]
/ Amy: (Stupid witch. "Magic is within". I could do spells!)
/ Amy: (Come on Amy, this is like community service.) / Amy: (Except the community is a cave with a mad old woman in it.) / [[At a shop window "Help the Wretched"]]
/ Amy: The charity shop! I can cheer up the cave with old tat! To Mother Shipton it'll seem DELICIOUSLY FUTURISTIC! / [[Amy inside the shop. Two women at the counter sorting through a box marked 'Charity'. One holds up an E.T. doll.]]
/ Amy: 'Help the Wretched' is a treasure trove of utter shit!
/ Maud: What do you think, Ethel? 8p?
/ Ethel: For crying out loud, Maud. Think of the wretched, won't you? 10p. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070404 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy presents Mother Shipton with a Magic Eye book]]
/ Amy Chilton: Good news, Mother Shipton. I've got magic powers.
/ I enchanted these books. The pictures leap off the page. / Mother Shipton: Lies, Lies! A child's lies!
/ Amy Chilton: Look! / Mother Shipton: AIEE! Tis an indistinct horse shape hovering an inch above the page!
/ A sure sign of a blighted harvest! / Mother Shipton: How? How did you do this?
/ Amy Chilton: I dunno! Your magic just rubbed off I think! / Amy Chilton: So will you teach me some spells?
/ Mother Shipton: Yes... AIIEEE! An indistinct bucket and spade! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070405 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[In Mother Shipton's cave. Amy holds up a Magic Eye book to Mother Shipton.]]
/ Amy: Good news, Mother Shipton. I've got magic powers. I enchanted these books. The pictures leap off the page. / Mother Shipton: Lies, lies! A child's lies!
/ Amy: Look! / [[Mother Shipton holds the book open in front of herself.]]
/ Mother Shipton: AIEE! Tis an indistinct horse shape hovering an inch above the page! A sure sign of a blighted harvest! / Mother Shipton: How? How did you do this?
/ Amy: I dunno! Your magic just rubbed off I think! / Amy: So will you teach me some spells?
/ Mother Shipton: Yes... AIIEEE! An indistinct bucket and spade! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070405 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Laird Stromness and Ernest talk over a pipe and brandy at Stromness Keep. Ernest has added a tie to his outfit, but is still wearing the same red flannel shirt]]
/ Lord Stromness: Apologies for the trouble lat night. M'Sons grew up motherless and a little wild y'might say.
/ Ernest: Arr, tis nothin'. / Gibbous: [[to Lord Stromness]] Sorry for fighting...and insulting your cape...
/ Lord Stromness: All forgotten! [[then to Ernest]] So have you children yourself, Captain Cromerty? / Ernest: Well, when a bear walks the forest floor, he knows not how many insects he crushes. He merely knows there were many.
/ Lord Stromness: Ah, a gentleman of the old school! There are'nae too many of us left! / [[Away from the two men talking]]
/ Gibbous: That's disgusting.
/ Desmond: You can't say "nautical" without saying "naughty". I tried! It's not even a word. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070406 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[In the Laird of Stromness's parlour]]
/ Laird of Stromness: Apologies for the trouble last night. M'sons grew up motherless and a little wild, y'might say.
/ Ernest: Arr, tis nothin'. / Moon: Sorry for fighting... and insulting your cape...
/ Laird of Stromness: All forgotten! So have you children yourself, Captain Cromerty? / Ernest: Well, when a bear walks the forest floor, he knows not how many insects he crushes. He merely knows there were many.
/ Laird of Stromness: Ah, a gentleman of the old school! There are'nae too many of us left! / [[Moon and Desmond off to one side.]]
/ Moon: That's DISGUSTING.
/ Desmond: You can't say "nautical" without saying "naughty". I tried! It's not even a WORD. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070406 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Now outdoors, Ernest has his utility-vest on over his shirt and tie, Gibbous has her fleece-lined hoodie, and Desmond has put on his hunter's cap. Laird Stromness' walking stick has a decidedly kracken-looking top to it. Neither Gibbous nor Desmond seem that thrilled about the situation]] / Lord Stromness: So there uh was on horseback, naked but for m'boots...firing my pistol into the air for all I was worth!
/ Ernest: Ha ha ha ha ha! / Gibbous: [[taking Desmond's arm and speaking aside]] Let's give mom and dad the slip and go see the real Stromness. / Desmond: [[concerned]] I dunno, Moon. We oughtn't to..
/ Gibbous: [[plottily]] We're only cramping their style, Des! / [[The two are now away from the Lord and Captain. White-shirted townsfolks are seen bearing fish-masks and musical instruments]]
/ Gibbous: They just want to find a cozy nook and snuggle.
/ Desmond: Woah! Outrageous gyrations ahead! / Gibbous: Is this normal for Britain? Fishmasks and dancing and...is that some sort of idol?
/ Desmond: Moon, give a Brit two sticks and trousers with bells on...he'd worship a washing machine through the medium of dance. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070409 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Laird of Stromness walking merrily aside Ernest. Moon and Desmond follow, looking distraught.]]
/ Laird of Stromness: So there uh was on horseback, naked but for m'boots...
/ Laird of Stromness: ... firing my pistol into the air for all I was worth!
/ Ernest: Ha ha ha ha ha! / [[Moon grabs Desmon'd arm.]]
/ Moon: Let give mom and dad the slip and go see the real Stromness. / Desmond: I dunno, Moon, we oughtn't to...
/ Moon: We're only cramping their style, Des! / [[They approach a group of dancing masked figures holding bell-sticks.]]
/ Moon: They just want to find a cosy nook and SNUGGLE.
/ Desmond: Woah! Outrageous gyrations AHEAD! / Moon: Is this normal for Britain? Fishmasks and dancing and... is that some sort of IDOL?
/ Desmond: Moon, give a Brit two sticks and trousers with bells on... he'd worship a washing machine through the medium of dance. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070409 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Desmond and Gibbous follow the townsfolk of Stromness. They find the idol, a five-foot tall green half rugby-ball with a distinctly Cthulhu-esque appearance. A Maypole tops it and the fish-masked townsfolk dance about to a bagpiper while they shake belled sticks]]
/ Gibbous: Is it me Des, or is that thing they're dancing around kinda Kraken-ish?
/ Desmond: I'd say krakenly! / Purple-Coated Townswoman: [[to Desmond and Gibbous]] Took my daughter, it did! Given to her! Took her away!
/ Gibbous: Excuse me?
/ Desmond: [[with electric alarm-bolts about his head]] Stop it! Stop being foreboding! / [[A turtleneck-wearing Townsman herds the purple-coated Townswoman indoors]]
/ Townswoman: Away from me, Steven!
/ Townsman: Come away, Mad Mary. So called for y'are so very mad.
/ Gibbous: Isn't this sorta suspicious?
/ Desmond: [[in grumping denial]] No. I'm classifying everything we've seen under "harmless fun". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070410 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Masked figures dance around a strange effigy. Moon, Desmond, and a small crowd look on.]]
/ Moon: Is it me Des, or is that thing they're dancing around kinda kraken-ish?
/ Desmond: I'd say Krakenly! / woman: Took my daughter, it did. Given to her! Took her away!
/ Moon: Excuse me?
/ Desmond: STOP IT! STOP BEING FOREBODING! / [[Man pushes woman away.]]
/ woman: Away from me, Steven!
/ man: Come away, Mad Mary, so called for Y'ARE SO VERY MAD.
/ Moon: Isn't this sorta SUSPICIOUS?
/ Desmond: NO. I'm classifying everything we've see under "harmless fun". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070410 |
| April 11, 2007: Time to go! | [[Moon and Desmond have just walked into Ernest's hotel room. Ernest is packing up his duffel bag.]]
/ Moon: Ernest!
/ You won't believe what we saw, we...
/ Ernest: Arr, where did you two disappear to?
/ I had to suffer that fool, the laird, alone! / Moon: We thought he was your new best friend!
/ Ernest: The man was a bore, and a liar!
/ Every time I asked of the kraken, he turned talk to his bedroom conquests. / Moon: Well no one would tell us anything either, but...
/ Desmond: Connie Conspiracy here thinks this is an island of kraken-crazy sea kooks. / Ernest: Your captain concurs!
/ Tis not safe for us here.
/ We'll hunt the beast at nightfall. / [[The three are leaving the hotel.]]
/ Desmond: Do I get to drive the boat this time?
/ Moon: You're on clerical duties, Des.
/ Ernest: Do that well, ye may be asked to hold a rope. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070411 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Moon and Desmond walk into bedroom at the inn, where Ernest is standing.]]
/ Moon: Ernest! You won't BELIEVE what we saw, we...
/ Ernest: Arr, where did you two disappear to? I had to suffer that fool, the Laird, alone! / Moon: We thought he was your new best friend!
/ Ernest: The man was a bore. And a liar. Every time I asked of the Kraken, he turned talk to his bedroom conquests. / Moon: Well no one would tell us anything either, but...
/ Desmond: Connie Conspiracy here thinks this is an island of Kraken-crazy sea kooks. / Ernest: Your captain concurs! Tis not safe for us here. We'll hunt the beast at nightfall. / Desmond: Do I get to drive the boat this time?
/ Moon: You're on clerical duties, Des.
/ Ernest: Do that well, ye may be asked to hold a rope. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070411 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ernest's boat, at sea. Ernest is happily taking the look out while Gibbous and Desmond are in the cabin.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070412 |
| Scary Go Round 20070412 | [[On the boat, off of Orkney.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070412 |
| Scary Go Round 20070413 | [[On the Lady Elaine, Des fiddles with a deck spotlight.]]
/ Des: This is fishy. Let's get a better look.
/ Moon: No Des! You'll startle it! / [[In the light, the "kraken" is revealed to be a fraud, mounted on a boat, with Sam and Tam maneuvering it and making it breathe fire with a fuel-ignition apparatus.]]
/ Des: I startled it so much that it stopped being real!
/ Sam: Aw hell Tam
/ Tam: Ah tole ye the fire wuz too much / [[From the other direction, a speedboat bears down on the Lady Elaine. At the bow is the Laird, and behind him are more villagers with fish-masks and torches.]]
/ Laird: Lady Elaine, ye've violated island law. Prepared to be boarded. Ocean court is now in session!
/ Moon: We're lookin' to you for leadership here, "Captain". Leadership and firearms. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070413 |
| Scary Go Round: April 13, 2007 | [[Desmond, Moon and Ernest are standing on the deck of the Lady Elaine. Desmond is aiming a bright spotlight as Moon tries to stop him.]]
/ Desmond: This is fishy.
/ Let's get a better look.
/ Moon: No Des!
/ You'll startle it! / [[The light reveals that the giant monster is actually a giant puppet built on a ship, with two young men pulling strings to work it.]]
/ Desmond: I startled it so much that it stopped being real!
/ First man: Aw Hell Tam.
/ Second man: Ah tole ye the fire wuz too much! / [[Another, bigger ship approaches, towering over the Lady Elaine. The laird of Stromness stands on the new boat with a crowd of people in fish-masks. The laird is shouting through a megaphone.]]
/ Laird: Lady Elaine, ye've violated island law.
/ Prepare to be boarded.
/ Ocean court is now in session!
/ Moon: We're lookin' to you for leadership here, "Captain."
/ Leadership and FIREARMS. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070413 |
| Scary Go Round 20070416 | [[The Laird has the drop on the Lady Elaine. Des sticks his hands up. Ernest speaks to Moon.]]
/ Des: On behalf of the Lady Elaine I welcome our new Scotch overlords.
/ Ernest: Arr, take that pathetic creature inside, I'll deal with this. / Ernest: Allow us to drop anchor, Laird, that ye might come aboard.
/ [[He turns a big lever.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070416 |
| Scary Go Round: April 16, 2007 | [[Desmond, Moon and Ernest stand on the deck of the Lady Elaine. They are faced by a boat carrying the laird of Stromness and his crew of fish-masked people. Desmond has his arms up, bowing before the laird.]]
/ Desmond: On behalf of the Lady Elaine I welcome our new Scotch overlords.
/ Ernest (to Moon): Arr, take that pathetic creature inside, I'll deal with this. / [[Desmond and Moon go inside the Lady Elaine. Ernest stands on the deck and pulls a giant lever as he shouts at the laird.]]
/ Ernest: Allow us to drop anchor, laird, that ye might come aboard.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070416 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Cromerty's ship plunges below the sea]]
/ Laird of Stromness: Cromerty is sunk! A murder ship miscarries!
/ Claimed by the waves!
/ Cromerty: Dive! Dive! / Cromerty: Miss Moon, plot a course back to English waters.
/ Moon: What about the Kraken? / Cromerty: We've wasted enough time on a fool's errand.
/ This "Kraken" is the product of fevered minds, far from the sanity of the mainland. / Moon: But what do we tell Shelley?
/ Desmond: Maybe that she can come and paddle in the ocean with a bunch of inbred fish fanciers. / Desmond: We could get her a t-shirt.
/ "I went to Orkney to see the Kraken and all I got was this lousy lynch mob".
/ [[The Kraken looms in front of the ship]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070417 |
| Scary Go Round: April 17, 2007 | [[The Lady Elaine, now a round submarine, dives into the sea and escapes the laird and his fish-masked crew.]]
/ Laird: Cromerty is sunk!
/ A murder ship miscarries!
/ Claimed by the waves!
/ Someone on the Lady Elaine: Dive!
/ Dive! / [[Moon, Ernest and Desmond are standing in the control room of the Lady Elaine.]]
/ Ernest: Miss Moon, plot a course back to English waters.
/ Moon: What about the kraken? / Ernest: We've wasted enough time on a fool's errand.
/ This "kraken" is the product of fevered minds.
/ Far from the sanity of the mainland. / [[Moon taps on a computer keyboard, changing the Lady Elaine's course.]]
/ Moon: But what do we tell Shelley?
/ Desmond: Maybe that she can come and paddle in the ocean with a bunch of inbred fish fanciers. / [[As the Lady Elaine continues under the sea and rounds a large wall of rock, a kraken emerges ahead of them, around the corner of the same wall.]]
/ Desmond (in the ship): We could get her a T-shirt.
/ "I went to Orkney to see the kraken and all I got was this lousy lynch mob." http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070417 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Des: Moon, you're crazy! That thing'll eat you like a jelly baby! / Moon: Don't you get it? If we catch this thing, we'll be famous!
/ Des: Time Magazine won't put headless corpses on the cover! It doesn't play well with their target demographic of people with heads. / Moon: Des, you're a freakin' merman. You're comin' with me! Tell him, Earnest!
/ Earnest: How I love the tranquility of the open sea. / Des: Murder! Murder!
/ Moon: Come on. Think of all the things you'll have in common. 101 great plankton recipes!
/ Des: Recipes! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070418 |
| Scary Go Round 20070419 | [[Moon in a scuba suit and Des in naught but swimming trunks, they swim through the sea.]]
/ Des: Just so you know, Moon, I am drowning. It's just taking longer than expected for the death to kick in. / [[They come up behind the kraken.]]
/ Des: Didn't Shelley say this was some ancient god? It's more like a lovely sea bison. / [[They follow it.]]
/ Des: Hey! Wait up! / [[It turns to face them by a sunken ship.]]
/ Kraken: BLORP BLORP
/ Moon: ?
/ Des: Roughly translated? "Dinner dinner dinner." OK so maybe a sea bison... that can fly... with laser eyes. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070419 |
| Scary Go Round 20070420 | [[Moon and Des frantically flee the kraken. When it's almost upon them, Moon turns around and fires what seems to be a large tranquilizer gun into it. It turns dark and looks very ill as they escape.]] / [[Ernest looks through the periscope.]]
/ Ernest: Man alive, those youngsters subdued the beast! I must do my part! / [[He holds a ball of yarn and a crochet hook. He has a large book "Crochet Today" by Margo Plodz, open to read.]]
/ Ernest: "A net is a series of holes... joined together with string." I see! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070420 |
| April 23, 2007: The Kraken Captured | [[In the sea, far beneath the surface, a wooden submarine is towing a large green sea monster caught in a net.]]
/ A voice from inside the submarine: Mission Accomplished!
/ Well who knew, eh? / [[Inside the submarine, Desmond (a green half-man, half-fish creature) is standing with one arm around Moon and the other around Ernest.]]
/ Desmond: A straw sucking yankee yokel...
/ A borderline senile old man...
/ And a thrusting young executive proved that hey, we aren't so different! / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070423 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Raffles: Behold our target... PANINATU, the volcano god!' / Raffles: This will be the biggest steal of my... or any man's career!
/ Bonzo: Tuppin' 'ell Raffles, I 'ope this "genius plan" of yours works. / Raffles: Bonzo sir, this is man versus diety, the ultimate caper!
/ Raffles: Every detail, every eventuality has been plotted by me fiendishly brilliant brain. / Paninatu: BLAAARRG
/ [[Paninatu spews lava from his mouth]]
/ Raffles: tsss
/ Bonzo: tsss http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070424 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan Beckwith sitting in an airport]]
/ Ryan: Dang, the airport is like a luxury destination all of its own. You don't gots to worry about washin' up or vacuumin' they got dudes for that. / Ryan: It's just a shame Roy Air's baggage allowance is an envelope with 5 Tic Tacs in it. "Or Equivalent". / [[Ryan offers his envelope to Margo Plodz sitting next to him]]
/ Ryan: Tic Tac?
/ Margo: You know, Padraig Roy is a business genius. He made his fortune by suffering horribly whenever a penny was to be spent. / Ryan: Yeah I know, before Roy, travel was a luxury for money men and supermodels.
/ Margo: Now all it costs is three first class stamps. / [[Ryan and Margo look at the ticket brochure, which reads "Roy Air: In-flight husbandry and you!"]]
/ Ryan: Well, so long as you're willin' to soothe a pig on the way. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070425 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan Beckwith and Margo Plodz have gotten off the Roy Air plane to Ireland]]
/ Ryan: Hi there margo. I didn't see you in pig class.
/ Margo: No. I paid E15 for the upgrade to wooden packing crate class. You have to live a little. / Ryan: What was in the crates?
/ Margo[[emanating unhappiness]]: Splinters. / Ryan: Pig husbandry class wasn't so bad. My pig was a decent fellow. I may be a natural man of swine. / Ryan: Well I recon this is goodbye! Good luck in your life!
/ Margo: Let me give you my card, Ryan. If youre at a loose end, give me a call! / Ryan[[Reading the card]]: Margo Plodz...world's pre-eminent crocheter.
/ Ryan[[To himself]]: What does a fancy dame like that see in me? Maybe she figures I'd be good for some light liftin' and trivial errands. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070426 |
| Scary Go Round 20070427 | [[In merrie Ireland, Ryan sits on a rock reading from the folder Shelley prepared for him.]]
/ Ryan: Dang it all Shelley, these leprechaun catchin' instructions are powerful thin. / Ryan: The little people ain't like us. They got their own ways, simple ways. They crave sticks... or bottletops... or grease? Hell, I dunno... / Ryan: Once you fix your eye on a leprechaun, he can't get away! Nice! / Ryan: So all I got to do is set a trap with the things they like! / [[Wogun, the leprechaun, is striding through the fields with his friend Percival the bird.]]
/ Wogun: Well now a fine day it is indeed, Percival. Spring has sprung anew!
/ Percival: Chip chip! / Wogun: You're right! A feckin' enormous crock of gold!
/ Percival: Chip chip!
/ [[Ryan is lying in wait on a branch above them.]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070427 |
| Scary Go Round: April 27, 2007 | [[Ryan is sitting on a rock at the foot of a tree. He is reading a green folder with his name on it, and his pet bat is in his pocket.]]
/ Ryan: Dang it all Shelley, these leprechaun catchin' instructions are powerful thin. / Ryan: The little people ain't like us.
/ They got their own ways, simple ways.
/ They crave sticks... or bottletops... or GREASE?
/ Hell, I dunno... / Ryan: Once you fix your eye on a leprechaun, he can't get away!
/ Nice! / Ryan: So all I got to do is set a trap with the things they like! / [[A leprechaun is walking in the field of flowers alongside a bird. In front of them is a gold coin.]]
/ Bird: Chip chip!
/ Leprechaun: Well now a fine day it is indeed, Percival.
/ Spring has sprung anew! / [[Ryan is hiding in the branches of a tree, dropping pieces of gold coin into a large pot. His pet bat is next to him. Underneath them, the leprechaun and his bird-friend are standing in front of the pot of gold coins.]]
/ Bird: Chip chip!
/ Leprechaun: You're right!
/ A feckin' enormous crock of gold!! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070427 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Come on leprechaun guy, grab the coin! It's a big one! / Leprechaun: Saints alive, Percival! Pennies from Heaven!
/ Percival: Chip chip! / Hugo: Ryan! What antics be you perpetratin' amongst the branches?
/ Ryan: Wha-? / Ryan: Oh just fallin' you know / Ryan: Hugo, I was ten seconds away from catchin' me a moon calf.
/ Hugo: Much apologies, Ryan. I assumed you are protesting a new and evil road. But instead it is merely a psychedelic holiday of the mind. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070430 |
| Scary Go Round: April 30, 2007 | [[Ryan is perched on a tree branch, dangling a coin tied to a string over a large pot of gold, which a leprechaun and a bird are looking at.]]
/ Ryan (to himself): Come on leprechaun guy, grab the coin!
/ It's a big one! / Leprechaun: Saints alive Percival!
/ Pennies from heaven!
/ Bird: Chip chip! / [[Ryan hears a voice from off-panel, which startles him.]]
/ Voice: Ryan! What antics be you perpetratin' amongst the branches?
/ Ryan: Wha-? / [[Ryan falls out of the tree.]]
/ Ryan: Oh just fallin' you know. / [[The voice turns out to belong to Hugo, who kneels next to the collapsed Ryan.]]
/ Ryan: Hugo, I was ten seconds away from catchin' me a moon calf.
/ Hugo: Much apologies Ryan.
/ I assumed you are protesting a new and evil road.
/ But instead it is merely a psychedelic holiday of the mind. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070430 |
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