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Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley drives away after failing in her Super Crisis Quest]] / Shelley: Oh dear. Oh no. Oh NO. / Shelley: Magma and demonds and it's all my fault. / Shelley: All I had to do was recruit The Moon. / Shelley: And if I can't fulfill my mission, how can Esther and The Boy manage it? / Shelley: They're just kids, consumed by thoughts of alcopops and tongue kissin'. / <> / Esther: Yes! / The Boy: That's not real is it? That's a man in a suit. / [[Mr. Rabbit is trapped in a large net]] / Mr. Rabbit: Listen up. Here's the deal. / Mr. Rabbit: You let me down, I comp you a couple of baskets. / Mr. Rabbit: I'll throw in some chicks. / Mr. Rabbit: Have a heart. / [[Esther and The Boy are unimpressed]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070606
Scary Go Round 20070606 [[Shelley driving. The Moon above.]] / Shelley: Oh dear. Oh no. Oh no. Magma and demonds and it's all my fault. All I had to do was recruit the moon. / [[The Moon is shining in her windshield.]] / Shelley: And if I can't fulfill my mission, how can Esther and The Boy manage it? They're just kids, consumed by thoughts of alcopops and tongue kissin'. / <> / Esther: Yes! / The Boy: That's not real is it? That's a man in a suit. / [[They have caught Mr Lapin in a big net. They look up at him.]] / Mr Lapin: Listen up, here's the deal. You let me down, I comp you a couple of baskets. I'll throw in some chicks. Have a heart.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070606
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[At the cauldron in Mother Shipton's cave]] / Mother Shipton: I tire you teaching you spells, princess! / Mother Shipton: Go play in the mosses and lichens of the cave. / Amy: Oh Mother Shipton, you do SPOIL ME. / [[Amy gently traces a cave painting with her finger]] / Amy: Wow. To think these ancient cave paintings are a prophecy I'm part of. / [[Amy's finger has removed a streak of paint from the painting]] / Amy: HANG ON A SECOND. / Amy: [[holding up wet-paint finger]] Mother Shipton, I have a QUESTION. / Mother Shipton: Not now, you painted harlot, there is no time! / Mother Shipton: They draw near! The time is at hand! / Mother Shipton: I must brush my tooth in readiness! / Mother Shipton: Perhaps put on some lipstick!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070607
Scary Go Round 20070607 [[Mother Shipton and Amy are standing by a green-steaming cauldron. Beside are jars of eyeballs and possibly "toes of frog." Amy drops one eyeball in the cauldron.]] / Mother Shipton: I tire of teaching you spells, princess! Go play in the mosses and lichens of the cave. / Amy: Oh Mother Shipton, you do spoil me. / [[Torch in hand, Amy strokes the cave-wall picture of the Moon with one finger.]] / Amy: Wow. To think these ancient cave paintings are a prophecy I'm part of. / [[She has chalk all over that finger, and a line has been drawn through the Moon picture.]] / Amy: Hang on a second. / Amy: Mother Shipton, I have a question. / Mother Shipton: Not now, you painted harlot, there is no time! They draw near! The time is at hand! I must brush my tooth in readiness! Perhaps put on some lipstick!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070607
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Shelley climbs on the roof of her car]] / Shelley: Now, if I can't get to The Moon, I need to get his attention. / Shelley: And that cheeky orb has a one-track mind. / [[Shelley yells towards the sky]] / Shelley: I AM SO TIRED! / Shelley: IT IS TIME TO GET INTO MY SCANTY NIGHT-THINGS! / [[Shelley pulls down her pants/trousers]] / Shelley: I HOPE THAT OL' MOON DOES NOT SEE ME! / <> / [[Shelley re-clothes herself while answering the phone]] / Shelley: Hello Erin! / Shelley: No... I'm um... at a garden centre! / Shelley: Looking for night flowerin' shrubs! / Erin: Would it sound weird if I said I was getting married to a much older man tomorrow? / Erin: Did someone just... fall off the roof of a car?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070608
Scary Go Round 20070608 [[Shelley climbs up onto the roof of her car. The full moon is above.]] / Shelley: Now, if I can't get to the Moon, I need to get his attention. And that cheeky orb has a one-track mind. / Shelley: I am so tired! It is time to get into my scanty night-things! / [[Partly off-panel, she drops her tracksuit trousers. Within said trousers, her mobile phone rings.]] / Shelley: I hope that ol' Moon does not see me! / <> / [[She has pulled her trousers back up to answer the phone.]] / Shelley: Hello Erin! No... I'm um... at a garden centre! Looking for night flowerin' shrubs! / Erin: Would it sound weird if I said I was getting married to a much older man tomorrow? Did someone just... fall off the roof of a car?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070608
June 11, 2007 [[Erin Winters is kneeling on her bed in her room looking at the cordless telephone in her hand.]] / <> / Erin Winters: Shelley? Great. Even my mad sister hung up. / [[Erin is standing before an open drawer looking at a photo in her hands.]] / Erin Winters: Oh Bob. No one approves of our love. But I know that it's right! / [[The photo Erin is holding shows Bob Crowley smiling with red tie and grey shirt and trousers. Hearts and a kiss appear on the photo.]] / Erin (inner monologue): To think that just a few weeks ago I thought you were a greasy old pervert... / ...with embarrassing hair! / [[Erin's imagining Bob in a nursery room cradling two babies, each with single tooth and Bob's moustache and hair. A dead chicken with its spilt blood lies on the table next to two baby bottles with milk. The moon smiles through the window. 666 is fretted on the baby-cot head panel.] / Erin (inner monologue): And I know you'll stay home with the twins... / [[Erin's imagining herself in a laboratory office with city view showing an aeroplane and a shuttle-like vehicle. She is standing with fishnet stockings, brown top, short purple skirt, white labcoat, and one hand holding a phone to the ear and the other hand holding a testtube with pink liquid with radiation symbol above.] / Erin (inner monologue): While I simultaneously discover cold fusion and broker Chinese democracy! / [[Erin sits on her bed looking at a small yellow piece of paper.]] / Erin: Now all I have to do is learn these vows by tomorrow. / Why did my beloved write his love epithets so small and blurry?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070611
Scary Go Round 20070611 / Erin: Shelley? Great. Even my mad sister hung up. / Erin: Oh Bob, no one approves of our love. But I know that it's right! / Erin (off-panel): To think that just a few weeks ago I thought you were a greasy old pervert... / Erin (off-panel): And I know you'll stay home with the twins... / [[Mental image of Bob holding two tiny lookalikes (already with moustaches) in a nursery, at night, with a mobile and a crib carved with "666" in the background, and baby bottles and some kind of sacrifice on the table in the foreground.]] / Erin: While I simultaneously discover cold fusion and broker Chinese democracy! / [[Erin in a lab coat, holding a test tube and on the phone.]] / Erin: Now all I have to do is learn these vows by tomorrow. Why did my beloved write his love epithets so small and blurry?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070611
June 12, 2007 [[Erin Winters is sitting at a phoropter while the optometrist Doctor Singh examines her eyes.]] / Doctor Singh: Sorry Erin, it looks like you'll have to start wearing your glasses again. / [[Erin sits while Doctor Singh handles a phoropter lens.]] / Erin: But I'm getting married tonight! What if he doesn't like me in glasses? / [[Erin holds a pair of glasses while the optometrist talks to her.]] / Doctor Singh: If he loves you, he'll love you with slices of beetroot taped to your eyes. / And let's be honest, he'll like you better if you don't mistake the toaster for the postman all the time. / [[Erin puts the glasses on while Doctor Singh holds up a pair of red shoes.]] / Erin: I suppose. Goodbye Doctor Singh. / Doctor Singh: Erin, you... er... do you still want these shoes?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070612
Scary Go Round 20070612 [[Erin is having her eyes tested.]] / Dr Singh: Sorry Erin, it looks like you'll have to start wearing your glasses again. / Erin: But I'm getting married tonight! What if he doesn't like me in glasses? / Dr Singh: If he loves you, he'll love you with slices of beetroot taped to your eyes. And let's be honest, he'll like you better if you don't mistake the toaster for the postman all the time. / Erin: I suppose. Goodbye Doctor Singh. / Dr Singh: Erin, you... er... do you still want these shoes? / [[He holds up her shoes.]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070612
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Erin about to enter a Help The Wretched store and is looking over her shoulder at her previous life. She is Not Happy.]] / Erin: Maybe I can't tell my family, and my friends think I'm nuts... / Erin: ... But this is still going to be the most wonderful day of my life. / [[The store has on display: a rainbow; 3 albums: Lemuel Shanks 'Tuff Rutty', Meet the Chisels, and Ruff Kru '88 The Bomb Y'All']] / [[Erin is now inside the shop, run by the evil old ladies that killed Ryan's French girlfriend. Erin is hesitant. The old ladies are afeared.]] / Erin: Do you have any wedding dresses? I don't have a lot of money. / Shorter Evil Old Lady: Aren't you a little young to be getting wed, dearie? / Taller Evil Old Lady: Awfully young! A child! Don't waste your life! / [[Various robots from other webcomics are on the shelves; I only recognize PintSize and the robot from Diesel Sweeties. There is also a Matchmacer game.]] / [[The evil old ladies have seized Erin by the arms and are holding her on top of the counter. Erin is more puzzled than taken aback.]] / Shorter Evil Old Lady: Trap off with as many men as possible! / Shorter Evil Old Lady: Try black and white! / Taller Evil Old Lady: I wish I had! / Taller Evil Old Lady: I tried to give the Glad Eye to a Chinaman last week, but it's just too late! / [[A 250 piece puzzle published by Milton Bradley is titled Papal Assassination.]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070613
Scary Go Round 20070613 [[Erin walks to the Help The Wretched shop. Signs on the window: "Lemuel Shanks - Tuff Rutty"; "Meet The Chisels"; "Ruff Kru - The Bomb Y'all".]] / Erin: Maybe I can't tell my family, and my friends think I'm nuts... but this is still going to be the most wonderful day of my life. / [[In the shop.]] / Erin: Do you have any wedding dresses? I don't have a lot of money. / Maud: Aren't you a little young to be getting wed, dearie? / Ethel: Awfully young! A child! Don't waste your life! / [[They grab her frantically.]] / Maud: Trap off with as many men as possible! Try black AND white! / Ethel: I wish I had! I tried to give the glad eye to a Chinaman last week, but it's just too late!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070613
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Crowley: Where is Mr. Rabbit with my wedding suit? I've not seen hide nor hair of that beast all day. / Goblin1: He is probably selecting just the right cummerbund! / Goblin2: Enjoy anew the sparkle and shine of the ring! / Crowley: Only eight hours until earth is awash in demons, blood and fire! Eight hours until Bob Crowley settles down with the right gal! / [[meanwhile, at a thrift store]] / Erin: Ow. / Old Lady 1: It just won't seem to stay tight! / Old Lady 2: Well Erin dear, you look lovely. You'll definitely be the prettiest girl in town squandering her precious youth today.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070614
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Bob Crowley: Where is Mr Rabbit with my wedding suit? I've not seen hide nor hair of that beast all day. / Winged goblin gent with wings?: He is probably selecting just the right cummerbund! / Bespectacled goblin fellow in long sleeves: Enjoy anew the sparkle and shine of the ring! / Bob Crowley: only eight hours until Earth is awash in demons, blood and fire! Eight hours until Bob Crowley settles down with the right gal! / Erin Winters: Ow. / Maude: It just won't seem to stay tight! / Ethel: Well Erin dear, you look lovely. You'll definitely be the prettiest girl in town squandering her precious youth today.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070614
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Devil: So Bob, how does it feel to be free of school and getting spliced? / Bob Crowley: Exciting, dark one! Though a shame I can't enjoy the world for a while before you flood it with your hideous spawn. / The Devil: The world is already an exceptionally horrible place, I'm just making it my kind of exceptionally horrible place! After all, who's going to stop me? / Hugo: Ryan, this unpleasant glade is giving me much fear. / Ryan: Hugo, you can't judge a thicket based on screamin' face trees and insane numbers of crows. / Ryan: It's just what nature decided is best. Like a baboon's huge pink ass.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070615
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Devil: So Bob how does it feel to be free of school and getting spliced? / Bob: Exciting Dark One! - Though a shame I can't enjoy the world for a while before you flood it with your hideous spawn. / The Devil: The world is already an exceptionally horrible place. - I'm just making it my kind of exceptionally horrible place! - After all, who's going to stop me? / Hugo: Ryan, this unpleasant glade is giving me much fear. / Ryan: Hugo, you can't judge a thicket based on screamin' face trees and insane numbers of crows. / Ryan: It's just what nature decided is best. Like a baboon's huge pink ass.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070615
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Woah! You fellows! I was sure you'd die a fiery lava death! / Raffles, Gentleman Thief: Rather than magma, it turns our Paninatu spews waves of fresh strawberry jam. / Raffles, Gentleman Thief: Despite some minor scalding, we tempted him out of his volcano home with some cream... / Raffles, Gentleman Thief: ...and used an experimental dirigible we found on the island to fly him back to god's country. / Ryan: That's smart thinkin'. How did you get him into the cave? / Raffles, Gentleman Thief: A little more gentle persuasion! / Raffles, Gentleman Thief: Like most big chaps, he has a surprising amount of "give".
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070618
Scary Go Round: June 18, 2007 [[Ryan, carrying a cardboard box with holes poked in it, approaches two two men. The first man, Raffles, looks debonair and classy, while the second, Bonzo Cribbins, looks like a ruffian. Both men have bandages around their arms.]] / Ryan: Woah! / You fellows! / I was sure you'd die a fiery lava death! / Raffles: Rather than magma, it turns out Paninatu spews waves of fresh strawberry jam. / [[A flashback shows Pinanatu tied to a flying saucer, with a large jar of cream dangling just in front of his face.]] / Raffles: Despite some minor scalding, we tempted him out of his volcano with some cream... / ...and used an experimental dirigible we found on the island to fly him back to God's country. / Ryan: That's some smart thinkin'! / How did you get him into the cave? / Raffles: A little more gentle persuasion! / [[A flashback shows Raffles and Bonzo manning a bulldozer, which is shoving the too-large Pininatu into the cave's opening.]] / Raffles: Like most big chaps, he has a surprising amount of "give."
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070618
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: The laprechaun's in this box, but he's havin' a nap. / Margot: Don't wake him up, he's a biter and a scratcher. / Mother Shipton: Yes yes! I see him! / Hugo: There is a kraken in the petrified well back there. I am going to spend tomorrow just staring at some leaves, recalibrating my shattered mind. / Margot: Ryan... are you sure we did the right thing? / Ryan: It's a question of Who Do You Trust. / Ryan: Some mad ole witch who smells like a mothball? / Margot: She seemed nice...ish? / Ryan: Or a tiny green man who wants to chin the devil? / Old Gabby: FREEDOM!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070619
Scary Go Round: June 19, 2008 [[Ryan and Margo hand a box to the hag-like Mother Shipton. Hugo watches nervously in the background.]] / Ryan: The leprechaun's in this box, but he's havin' a nap. / Margo: Don't wake him up, he's a biter and a scratcher. / Mother Shipton: Yes yes! / I see him! / [[Hugo stands at the mouth of the cave, leaning on the wall. He looks shell-shocked.]] / Hugo: There is a kraken in the petrified well back there. / I am going to spend tomorrow just staring at some leaves, recalibrating my shattered mind. / [[Ryan and Margo walk out of the cave. Margo is carrying a large purple bag.]] / Margo: Ryan... are you sure we did the right thing? / Ryan: It's a question of who do you trust. / Ryan: Some mad ole witch who smells like a mothball? / Margo: She seemed nice...ish? / [[Margo opens the bag, revealing a small green leprochaun in a bright red bowling shirt.]] / Ryan: Or a tiny green man who wants to chin the devil? / Leprochaun: FREEDOM!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070619
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[ The Boy and Esther have brought Mr. Rabbit to Mother Shipton's cave, and stand there with her. The rabbit is behind bars. ]] / Mother Shipton: Well done, children, well done. / Mr. Rabbit is vital to my plans. / Esther: What happens now, Mother Shipton? / Mother Shipton: I need to cast some spells to complete the prophecy! / They are not for young eyes! Go play at ring-a-roses and hop-scotch! / [[ Mother Shipton goes into another cavern, where she has Amy tied to a pole and gagged. ]] / Mother Shipton: How delicious it is when things go to plan. / How people TRUST authority! / Amy: MRRFF MMF MMFR FRR-RR! / [[ Amy slips free of the gag ]] / Amy: This prophecy of yours is a load of old pony! You just used them! / Mother Shipton: No one complains when you "use" the post office! That's what it's FOR!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070620
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mother Shipton: Well done children, well done. Mr Rabbit is vital to my plans. / Esther: What happens now, mother shipton? / Mother Shipton: I need to cast some spells to complete the prophecy! They are not for young eyes! Go play at ring-a-roses and hop-scotch! / Mother Shipton: How delicious it is when things go to plan. How people trust authority! / Amy: MRRFF MMF MMFR FRR-RR! / Amy: This prophecy of your is a load of old pony! You just used them! / Mother Shipton: No one complains when you "use" the post office! That's what it's for!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070620
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Boy: Now we've saved the world and society, there are a few things we need to sort out, Esther. / Esther: I know. Everything's been so messed up since christmas. And poor erin. First she grows 18 inches, then declares she's marrying the headmaster. / The Boy: I think things may have snowballed. / Esther: Oh my god, what is she wearing? / <> / Esther: Erin, where are you going dressed like that? / Erin: To get married! No one understands my love for Bob Crowley! / The Boy: It's hard to understand inexplicable things! That's why they're inexplicable! / The Boy: We should follow her. / Esther: Yes! You can show her more olympian feats of tact and diplomacy. / <>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070621
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Boy: Now we've saved the world and society, there are a few things we need to sort out, Esther. / Esther: I know. Everything's been so messed up since Christmas. And poor Erin. First she grows 18 inches, then declares she's marrying the headmaster. / The Boy: I think things may have snowballed. / Esther: Oh my god, what is she wearing? / Esther: Erin, where are you going dressed like that? / Erin: To get married! No one understands my love for Bob Crowley! / The Boy: It's hard to understand inexplicable things! That's why they're inexplicable! / The Boy: We should follow her. / Esther: Yes! You can show her more Olympian feats of tact and diplomacy.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070621
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Erin knocks on a door]] / Erin Winters: I'm here, beloved Bob! I'm here for our wedding day! / [[Bob Answers, Erin is has love-hearts floating around her]] / Bob Crowley: What fiction is this! / [[Bob is anguished. It is revealed Erin is in a wedding dress. She looks despondent, but still has floaty hearts]] / Bob Crowley: Where is the leggy, buxom gazelle of my fevered night thoughts? / Bob Crowley: This bookish sapling is a maiden aunt in waiting! / [[Erin is latched onto Bob's back. There is a tentacle behind a couch]] / Erin Winters: Love me bob, love me! / Bob Crowley: I'm the empire's king of wickedness, not a trainee bank clerk! I cannot wed this tiny, bespectacled limpet! Pry her off before the bond is permanent!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070622
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Erin Winters: I'm here, beloved Bob! I'm here for our wedding day! / Bob Crowley: WHAT FICTION IS THIS? / Bob Crowley: Where is the leggy, buxom gazelle of my fevered night thoughts? / Bob Crowley: This bookish sapling is a maiden aunt in waiting! / Erin Winters: LOVE ME, BOB, LOVE ME! / Bob Crowley: I'm the empire's king of wickedness, not a trainee bank clerk! I cannot wed this tiny, bespectacled limpet! Pry her off before the bond is permanent!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070622
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The devil is furious, a pink and yellow pattern radiating from his head fills the panel.]] / Devil: What do you mean, you don't want to marry her? / Devil: Only the cold light of the full moon... / Devil: ...and the unholy union of maiden and beast... / Devil: ...can flood the world with my lovely demon spawn! / [[The Devil's desired scenerio is depicted: The melancholy moon shines its rays through a contraption like the eye of an enormous needle and onto Crowley and Erin, who are bathed in pink light. Red demons fly from the lens.]] / Crowley: Even the wickedest man in the world must marry for love. I won't marry this unfitting twig! / Erin: Twig? BLOO HOO HOO! / [[Erin is in her bridal dress holding a white bouqet, crying.]] / [[The Devil stands behind Crowley, placing his hands on Bob's shoulders and speaks into his ear. Erin looks on, distraught.]] / Devil: We had a deal, Bobby. The alternative is an eternity trapped in the grounds of her school. / [[Bob and Erin are standing in front of the circular contraption.]] / Crowley: Maybe it won't be so bad with you... I can have sexy mistresses... / [[Erin drops her bouqet.]] / Erin: Mistresses? BLOO HOO HOO!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070625
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Devil: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY HER? / The Devil: Only the cold light of the full moon... / The Devil: ...And the unholy union of maiden and beast... / The Devil: ...Can flood the world with my lovely demon spawn! / Bob Crowley: Even the wickedest man in the world must marry for love. I won't marry this unfitting twig! / Erin Winters: Twig? BLOO HOO HOO! / The Devil: We had a deal, Bobby. The alternative is an eternity trapped in the grounds of her school. / Bob Crowley: Maybe it won't be so bad with you... I can have sexy mistresses... / Erin Winters: Mistresses? BLOO HOO HOO!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070625
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[ The Devil is about to maryy Headmaster Crowley and Erin Winters under the light of a full moon, in accordance to the bargain between Bob and the Devil. Both are crying, Bob because Erin is no longer a busty Amazon, Erin because Bob obviously does not love her. ]] / The Devil: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of me, The Great Deceiver... / ... To bring about the union of Robert Aloysius Crowley and Erin Mary Winters. / [[ Shelley crashes her car directly into the ceremony, angry as hell, ploughing into the Devil, and throwing Bob and Bob's man off to the sides ]] / << Car: SKREEEEE >> / [[ Shelley gets out of the car ]] / Shelley: No goblin is marrying my sister to a magnetically handsome crying man! / Her wedding will involve crying for the right reasons! / "Because the Vicar has fangs" doesn't count!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070626
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison The Devil: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of me, the gread deceiver... / The Devil: ...to bring about the union of Robert Aloysius Crowley and Erin Mary Winters. / <> / Shelly Winters: No goblin is marrying my sister to a magnetically handsome crying man! / Shelly Winters: Her wedding will involve crying for the right reasons! "Because the vicar has fangs" doesn't count!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070626
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Do you have planning permission for this portal? / <> / [[Shelley is grabbed by a tentacle]] / Shelley: Unhand me! I have no time for the ways of the deep! / The Devil: You horrible little woman! Who are you to foil the Devil's scheme? / Shelley: I'm not scared of you! / The Devil: [[loudly]] You should be! / <> / [[Ester and The Boy squish the Devil using a backhoe]] / Ester: I'll say this for him... he had GUTS. / The Boy: I think you have a CRUSH on him. / The Boy: [[quietly]] You were wrong. Puns don't help.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070627
Scary Go Round 20070627 Shelley: Do you have planning permission for this portal? / [[A tentacle snags her.]] / <> / Shelley: Unhand me! I have no time for the ways of the deep! / [[The tentacle holds Shelley in front of the Devil.]] / Devil: You horrible little woman! Who are you to foil the Devil's scheme? / Shelley: I'm not scared for you! / Devil: YOU SHOULD BE! / [[Esther and The Boy smoosh the Devil with a bulldozer from behind.]] / <> / Esther: I'll say this for him... he had guts. / The Boy: I think you have a crush on him. You were wrong. Puns don't help.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070627
Scary Go Round 20070628 [[Shelley and Esther embrace.]] / Shelley: We did it Esther! We beat the Devil! / Wogun: Dat ain't the Devil, ye great streaks of whitewash. / [[He looks over the corpse, which Percival is perched on.]] / Wogun: Ye jus' squashed Old Nobby, the greatest character actor of his generation. What a waste. / [[He points.]] / Wogun: Dat's the Devil over there, marryin' yer sister to a foreign businessman. / [[It's Ralph, with red eyes.]] / Ralph: I now pronounce you man and wife. / Bob and Erin: BLOO HOO HOO!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070628
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: We did it, Esther! We beat the devil! / Goblin-fairy thing: Dat ain't the devil, ye great streaks of whitewash. / Goblin-fairy thing: Ye jus' squashed old nobby, the greatest character actor of his generation. What a waste. / Goblin-fairy thing: Dat's the devil over there, marryin' yer sister to a foreign businessman. / Devil: I now pronounce you MAN and WIFE. / Erin and Crowley: (Crying) BLOO HOO HOO!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070628
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: What are those? / Bob Crowley: Demons. That thing's going to flood the world with demons. / Shelley: Can't we turn it off? Soon? / Ralph: Only two people know how to turn it off: Me and Professor Braun here. / Ralph: He's not feeling very well. / The Wogun: Well then, tell me / The Wogun: Are ye ready for the hiding of yer life? / Shelley: Ryan, we're too silly to know what buttons to press! / Ryan: If I was making a 'less demons' button... / Ryan:...Maybe I'd have the two keys you gotta turn togetheror...Dang / Ryan: It's such a personal thing!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070629
Scary Go Round 20070629 <> / [[Magenta blobs with faces start emerging from the portal.]] / Shelley: What are those? / Bob: Demons. That thing's going to flood the world with demons. / Shelley: Can't we turn it off? Soon? / Ralph/Devil: Only two people know how to turn it off: me and Professor Braun here. He's not feeling very well. / [[He's plunged a knife (stake?) through Braun's chest.]] / Wogun: Well then, tell me... ARE YE READY FOR THE HIDING OF YOUR LIFE? / Shelley: Ryan, we're too silly to know which buttons to press! / Ryan: If I was makin' a less demons button... maybe I'd have the two keys you gotta turn together or... dang. It's such a personal thing!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070629
Scary Go Round 20070702 [[Hugo and Margo in a car. Margo looks peeved.]] / Hugo: No Margo. Hugo is not letting his main money-maker and lunch ticket out... into the dangerous world of goblins and wee men. / [[Sign: "Gimmer's Crag Inn"]] / Hugo: That fierce glow yonder suggests one thing. Any minute now someone will return complaining that they have lost a limb. / Hugo: We will remain safe here in Germany's most luxurious saloon and... / [[With great speed, the Wogun slams Ralph/the Devil into the windshield of their car, with Percival bringing up the rear.]] / <> / [[The windshield is mostly gone.]] / Hugo: Fetch my insurance policy from the glove box, Margo, and read. My view be obscured by tears.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070702
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Hugo: No Margo. Hugo is not letting his main money-maker and lunch ticket out... / ...into the dangerous world of goblins and wee men. / Hugo: That fierce glow yonder suggests one thing. / Any minute now someone will return complaining that they have lost a limb. / Hugo: We will remain safe here in Germany's most luxurious saloon and... / <> / Hugo: Fetch my insurance policy from the glove box, Margo, and read. / My view be obscured by tears.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070702
Scary Go Round 20070703 Bob: Once your sister and I were wed, the portal opened! There's nothing we can do! / Shelley: This is mind bogglingly annoying. / Ryan: I got no ideas except maybe buryin' this thing. / Shelley: Wait... Erin, you're only 16. / Shelley: This union is void without parental permission! / Erin: I got Dad to sign the permission slip when he was busy. / Erin: I told him it was for a day trip to the toilet factory. / Shelley: Exploiting the faulty attentions of the hard-working pater-familias! Shame on you, Erin!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070703
Scary Go Round 20070703 Bob Crowley: Once your sister and I were wed, the portal opened! There's nothing we can do! / Shelley: This is mind bogglingly annoying. / Ryan: I got no ideas except maybe buryin' this thing. / Shelley: Wait... Erin, you're only 16. / Shelley: This union is void without parental permission! / Erin: I got Dad to sign the permission slip when he was busy. / Erin: I told him it was for a day trip to the toilet factory. / Shelley: Shame on you, Erin! Exploiting the faulty attentions of the hard-working pater-familias!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070703
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Has this marriage been consummated? The answer had better be "no". / Erin: No! / Bob: I never disturbed her maidenhead! / Shelley: I'm filing a motion for annulment by text message-- legal practice at its most ramshackle. And really. "Maidenhead"? / Shelley: How do you like my legal beaglery, sistor? / Erin: I hate you! Bob means everything to me! / Shelley: Snif... I'm just doing my best, Esther. / Esther: She'll understand later. Being married to a pervy Victorian throwback... can't be a bowl of cherries. / Bob: Bob... has feelings too.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070704
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley Winters: Has this marriage been consummated? / Shelley Winters: The answer had better be "no". / Erin Winters: No! / Bob Crowley: I never disturbed her maidenhead! / Shelley Winters: I'm filing a motion for annulment by text message / Shelley Winters: Legal practice at its most ramshackle. / Shelley Winters: And really. "Maidenhead"? / <> / / Shelley Winters: How do you like my legal beaglery, sistor? / Erin Winters: I hate you! Bob means everything to me! / Shelley Winters: Snif ... I'm just doing my best, Esther. / Esther De Groot: She'll understand later. Being married to a pervy Victorian throwback ... / Esther De Groot: ... can't be a bowl of cherries. / Bob Crowley: Bob ... has feelings too.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070704
Scary Go Round 20070705 Ryan: Erin, you don't gotta be so hard on your sister. She's lookin' out for you. / Erin: Wow. Thanks. More great advice from a fully paid up member of her simpletons' club. / Ryan: Well dang ain't you just an utter delight. / Erin: I can find my arse with both hands, which puts me on a higher evolutionary rung than you, Ryan. / [[Shelley finishes tapping on her cellphone.]] / Shelley: Marriage annuled! / <> / Erin: The boy, what's happening? / The Boy: 51... 52... still 52... / The Boy: I think the portal just got switched from blow to suck. A subtle, cosmic pun on our personal situation, best enjoyed from a distance.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070705
Scary Go Round 20070705 Ryan: Erin, you don't gotta be so hard on your sister. She's lookin' out for you. / Erin: Wow, thanks. More great advice from a fully paid up member of her Simpletons' Club. / Ryan: Well dang ain't you just an utter delight. / Erin: I can find my arse with both hands, which puts me on a higher evolutionary rung than you, Ryan. / [[Shelley gets a text message.]] / Shelley: Marriage annulled! / <> / Esther: The Boy, what's happening? / The Boy: 51... 52... still 52... / The Boy: I think the portal just got switched from blow to suck. A subtle, cosmic pun on our personal situation, best enjoyed from a distance.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070705
Scary Go Round 20070706 [[Shelley hangs to a tree for dear life. Bob is not hanging on to anything.]] / Shelley: Holy moly! This is quite a gale! / Ryan: The portal's suckin' the demons back in... and anythin' else not nailed down! / Erin: BOB! / Erin: BOB, I'VE GOT YOU! / [[She reaches out for Bob, catches his feet, is sucked upwards, and is caught at the feet by Shelley who still is holding onto the tree.]] / Shelley: Oh crumbs / Bob: That's it, Erin. Now gently reel me in.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070706
Scary Go Round 20070706 [[Shelly hangs on to a tree as they are all swept up by the portal's sucking. Bob has nothing to hold onto and falls over.]] / Shelley: Holy moly! This is quite a gale! / Ryan: The portal's suckin' the demons back in... and anythin' else not nailed down! / Erin: NO! / Erin: BOB, I'VE GOT YOU! / [[Erin grabs Bob's feet, and Shelley grabs one of Erin's feet.]] / Shelley: Oh crumbs / Bob: That's it Erin, now gently reel me in.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070706
Scary Go Round 20070709 [[Erin is holding onto Bob's legs with both hands, while Shelley is only flimsily holding to one of Erin's feet.]] / Erin: I won't let go, Bob, I won't! / Shelley: Erin, I can't hold on to both of you! Let go of old cradle-snatcher! He'll be fine in a dimension of demonds and deth! / [[Shelley loses her grip. Erin and Bob catapult upwards to the portal; Bob goes POIT through it before Erin.]] / Shelley: As a lifelong supporter of Gravity, recent events have been most disappointing.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070709
Scary Go Round 20070709 Erin: I won't let go, Bob, I won't! / Shelley: Erin, I can't hold on to both of you! Let go of old cradle-snatcher! He'll be fine in a dimension of demonds and deth! / [[She loses her grip. Bob and Erin catapult through the portal.]] / <> / Shelley: As a lifelong supporter of gravity, recent events have been most disappointing.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070709
Scary Go Round 20070710 [[Ryan, The Boy, and Erin come up in a tractor to rescue Shelley. Erin plucks her off the tree.]] / Ryan: Shelley, stop your wrigglin'! We're savin' you! / Shelley: Let go! I have to rescue my sister! / Ryan: Listen, one small woman can't just go into Hell. / Shelley: I can! I must! / Erin: Shelley, Hell is awful. That's why they call it Hell. Non stop lakes of fire... and gurgling! / Shelley: What if you sent me through with a robot exo-skellington and a chainsaw... and dyno-mite! / Ryan: The best I can do is two fire crackers, an invalid car, and a chisel.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070710
Scary Go Round 20070710 [[Ryan, The Boy, and Erin come by in the bulldozer. The Boy holds Esther steady, and Esther reaches out and grabs Shelley from the tree she was holding on to.]] / Ryan: Shelley, stop your wrigglin'! We're savin' you! / Shelley: Let go! I have to rescue my sister! / Ryan: Listen, one small woman can't just go into hell. / Shelley: I can! I must! / Esther: Shelley, Hell is awful. That's why they call it Hell. Non stop lakes of fire... and gurgling! / Shelley: What if you sent me through with a robot exo-skellington and a chainsaw... and dyno-mite! / Ryan: The best I can do is two fire crackers, an invalid car, and a chisel.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070710
 
Scary Go Round 20070711 Esther: How do we turn the portal off, The Boy? You know about... science! / The Boy: I don't know if we should try. If it's not shut down properly, something appalling might happen! / Esther: The Portakabin's going! / The Boy: Well, they're made from compressed juice cartons and potato peelings! They're flimsy! / [[The Portakabin, wider than the portal, slams into it, and it topples and breaks.]] / <> / Esther: TIIIIMBEEER! / The Boy: Never again will I underestimate the raw power of a flying site office.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070711
Scary Go Round 20070711 [[Esther and The Boy stand a relatively safe distance from the portal as the demons are sucked back into it.]] / Esther: How do we turn the portal off, The Boy? You know about... science! / The Boy: I don't know if we should try. If it's not shut down properly, something appalling might happen! / Esther: The Portakabin's going! / The Boy: Well, they're made from compressed juice cartons and potato peelings! They're flimsy! / [[The Portakabin, too wide for the portal, crashes into it and knocks it over. Parts of it split open. The gnomes fly out.]] / <> / Esther: TIIIIMBEEER! / The Boy: Never again will I underestimate the raw power of a flying site office.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070711
Scary Go Round 20070712 Shelley: We did it! We saved the nation from the threat of terror... but at a terrible cost. / Ryan: War is stupid. And people are stupid. / Esther: I think we'd better get out of here before the police arrive and start asking reasonable questions. / Ryan: Let's go get Amy back from ol' Mother Shipton. She's probably sick of stalactites by now. / [[Over the "Mother Shipton's Cave" sign is "Closed For Major Renovation".]] / Shelley: What? No no no! / [[The cave mouth is boarded up, painted with "No Access via Cave Mouth".]] / Shelley: We beat the Devil even without those animals you made us catch! Give our friend back! / Ryan: Shelley, she ain't reasonable. We need the help of a costumed vigilante. Failin' that, a crowbar and a sock full of marbles.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070712
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: We did it! We saved the nation from teh threat of terror... ...but at a terrible cost. / Ryan: War is stupid. And people are stupid. / Esther: I think we'd better get out of here before the police arrive and start asking reasonable questions. / Ryan: Let's go get Amy back from ol' Mother Shipton. She's probably sick of stalactites by now. / [[A sign for Mother Shipton's Cave reads "Closed for major renovation"]] / Shelley: What? No no no! / [[Mother Shipton's door reads "No access via cave mouth"]] / Shelley: We beat the Devil even without those animals you made us catch! Give our friend back! / Ryan: Shelley, she ain't reasonable. We need the help of a costumed vigilante. Failin' that, a crowbar and a sock full of marbles.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070712
Scary Go Round 20070713 Shelley: Mother Shipton, you gross old crone, come out and face me! My skinny fists spell retribution! / Amy: Yeah Mother Shipton, you stink at life! Booo! / [[Shelley realizes Amy is behind her and hugs her.]] / Shelley: AME! She didn't boil you down into glue! / [[She gives Ryan a hug.]] / Amy: Don't hug too tight Ryan. I've been washing in puddle water for a week. / Shelley: Amy... Erin was sucked into a dimension of pain, horror and fear. / Amy: No offence Shel, but your sister is a human moaning machine. Consider this a character-building trip for her. Or just valuable downtime for our ears.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070713
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Shelley: Mother Shipton, you gross old crone, come out and face me! My skinny fists spell retribution! / Amy: Yeah Mother Shipton, you stink at life! Booo! / Shelley: AME! She didn't boil you down into glue! / Amy: Don't hug too tight Ryan. I've been washing in puddle water for a week. / Shelley: Amy... Erin was sucked into a dimension of pain, horror and fear. / Amy: No offence Shel, but your sister is a human moaning machine. Consider this a character-building trip for her. Or just valuable downtime for our ears.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070713
Scary Go Round 20070716 Ryan: Erin was a dour gal, you're right. Goin' into Hell will be character formin'. / Amy: Don't be so fucking ridiculous, Ryan. / Amy: What was I meant to say to poor Shelley? "Buck up! Your sister's probably only being chased by a big skull on legs with a lolling tongue"? Just because Erin only had too settings... "bossy" and "whiny"... doesn't mean she had to go to Hell! / Ryan: Dang Amy, don't take it out on me! I did my bit! I took my lumps! / Shelley: Now listen here- / Amy: Hey hey hey! / Shelley: Is this unresolved sexual tension or a real fight? I can catch the next bus if you two want to do kisses. / [[They both glare at her.]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070716
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Erin was a dour gal, you're right. Goin' into hell will be character formin'. / Amy: Don't be so fucking ridiculous, Ryan. / Amy: What was I meant ot say to poor shelley? "Buck up! Your sister's probably only being chased by a big skull on legs with a lolling tongue"? Just because Erin only had two settings... ... "bossy" and "whiny"... ... doesn't mean she had to go to hell! / Ryan: Dang Amy, don't take it out on me! I did my bit! I took my lumps! / Amy: Now listen here - / Shelley: Hey hey hey! / Shelley: Is this unresolved sexual tension or a real fight? I can catch the next bus if you two want to do kisses.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070716
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy's in the bath while Shelly waits outside the door.]] / Shelly: Do you think the devil is really beaten, Ame? Can the human race sleep safe in its giant bed? / Amy: The human race is like a drunk teenager doing a crooked grind down the central reservation of a motorway. / Amy: Humanity is a dangerous business! On the plus side, aeroplanes! On the downside, chainsaw accidents. / Shelly: If we were monkeys, this wouldn't happen. We'd just enjoy a banana in the branches. / Amy: Until someone serves up your brains like a boiled egg to Indiana Jones. It's not all banana fun! / <> Shelly: I don't want to be a monkey. Girl monkeys have beards and no recourse to the Gilette.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070717
Scary Go Round 20070717 [[Shelley is in her pajamas with a mug of tea. Amy is in the bathtub with bubble bath and a glass of wine.]] / Shelley: Do you think the Devil is really beaten, Ame? Can the human race sleep safe in its giant bed? / Amy: The human race is like a drunk teenager doing a crooked grind down the central reservation of a motorway. / Amy: Humanity is a dangerous business! On the plus side, aeroplanes! On the downside, chainsaw accidents. / Shelley: If we were monkeys, this wouldn't happen. We'd just enjoy a banana in the branches. / Amy: Until someone serves up your brains like a boiled egg to Indiana Jones. It's not all banana fun! / Shelley: I don't want to be a monkey. Girl monkeys have beards and no recourse to the Gilette. / [[She scratches her cheek.]] / <>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20070717
 

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