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| Scary Go Round 20080110 | [[Amy has a shopping bag marked "La Damsel".]]
/ Ryan: How comes you still got money despite not havin' a job? Are you sellin' your lady eggs? I won't judge.
/ Amy: No, I just sold a few of my knick-knacks. Apparently I have exquisite taste! / [[In front of the "Help the Wretched" store.]]
/ Ryan: Yeah, you got some nice curios, some decent gewgaws. I figured you were just exercisin' the five-finger discount.
/ [[Amy punches Ryan's arm.]]
/ Amy: Thanks for that ringing endorsement of my character. It's easy! Let me show you in the charity shop. / [[Amy is buying a ragged teddy bear. The woman at the charity shop holds out a Teddy Ruxpin in recommendation. Sign: "Gonks 25p 5/E1"]]
/ Woman: That ole thing? 10p, dear. You sure you don't want Teddy Ruxpin? 'E still talks!
/ Teddy Ruxpin: I WILL KILL AGAIN http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080110 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy carrys an expensive-looking parcel from La Damsel]]
/ Ryan: How comes you still got money despite not havin' a job? Are you sellin' your lady eggs? I won't judge. / Amy: No, I just sold a few of my knick-knacks. Apparently I have exquisite taste! / Ryan: Yeah, you got some nice curios, some decent gewgaws. I figured you were just exercisin' the five-finger discount.
/ Amy: Thanks for that ringing endoresement of my character. It's easy! Let me show you in the charity shop. / [[Inside the charity shop, Amy inquires about an old plush bear]]
/ Clerk: That ole thing? 10p, dear. You sure you don't want Teddy Ruxpin? 'e still talks!
/ Teddy: I will kill again http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080110 |
| Scary Go Round 20080111 | [[Back at home, Amy studies a thick volume with the ragged teddy bear she just bought for 10p on the table.]]
/ Amy: It's an original 1911 Steiff once owned by the damned Prince Vlot of Wallonia!
/ Ryan: Amy, I think you might be a divvy! / Amy: Who are you calling a divvy, square face?
/ Ryan: No, it means you got the power of knowin' antiques. Like the most famous famous divvy of all, Lovejoy! / Amy: Tell me more of this... Lovejoy.
/ Ryan: My memory is hazy, but if I remember right, he was a local warlock with a face like a leather purse. / Ryan: His best friend was a tinker... he wore tight denims to keep his powers strong. He couldn't sleep unless his hands were cuppin' the buttocks of a local duchess or minor royal.
/ [[As he speaks, illustrations accompany. Captions: Lovejoy - A Tinker - Denim - Blue Bloods]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080111 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy reads a collectors encyclopedia to learn about a stuffed bear she purchased]]
/ Amy: It's an original 1911 Steiff once owned by the damned Prince Vlot of Walllonia!
/ Ryan: Amy, I think you might be a divvy! / Amy: Who are you calling a divvy, square face?
/ Ryan: No, it means you got the power of knowin' antiques. Like the most famous divvy of all, Lovejoy! / Amy: Tell me more of this... Lovejoy.
/ Ryan: My memory is hazy, but if I remember right, he was a local warlock with a face like a leather purse. / [[Ryan's thoughts portray a fighting Lovejoy, fiendish Tinker, Lovejoy's bum in tight denim pants, and Lovejoy in a bed with a royal lady. The thoughts are labeled: Lovejoy; A Tinker; Denim; Blue Bloods]]
/ Ryan: His best friend was a tinker... he wore tight denims to keep his powers strong. He couldn't sleep unless his hands were cuppin' the buttocks of a local Duchess or minor royal. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080111 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Ha-cha! Now to the business of the day!
/ Ryan: Ame, it won't just compost over the course of the afternoon. / You're ruinin' the street for decent folks. / Amy: Now this is like a family tree in reverse… / …of people you might conceivably be able to see naked. / [[
/ The map:
/ Ryan
/ Via reliable allies
/ Via reprobate friends
/ Shelley: headache no one needs
/ Amy: would eat you alive
/ Kelly Mastars: pretty
/ Pauline Whelk (triangular XXX)
/ Gibbous Moon: Sexual American
/ Esther de Groot: Gothic Lol1t4
/ Kate Marx: philosophical outsider
/ ]]
/ Amy [[Voice-over]]: I used Shelley's best pens to colour-code potential suitorettes. / Red for “inconceivable physical union”… / Amy: Orange for “in relationship but break-uppable” / Green for “good match”.
/ Ryan: “Inconceivable physical union?” / Amy: I don't like couples who, when reduced to their most basic geometric form… / …resemble a square and an /Aardvark/. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080114 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy pushes a tree out the door]]
/ Amy: Ha-Cha! Now to the business of the day!
/ Ryan: Ame, it won't just compost over the course of an afternoon.
/ Ryan: You're ruinin' the street for for decent folks.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080114 |
| Scary Go Round 20080115 | [[A makeshift Peanuts-style help booth, with a sign: "Love Clinic - Amy Is In".]]
/ Amy: Before we start, you have to declare any unrequited loves and back-up girls.
/ Ryan: Aw c'mon, that's the secret treasure chest of a man's heart! The basic oil and grease of single livin'! / Amy: You have to cut them off, cast them out!
/ Ryan: Man all right, but it ain't dang well fair.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080115 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy is in a makeshift fort with a sign reading "Love Clinic / Amy is in" a la Lucy in Peanuts. Her fee jar reads £1]]
/ Amy: Before we start, you have to declare any unrequited loves and back-up girls.
/ Ryan: Aw c'mon, that's the secret treasure chest of a man's heart! The basic oil and grease of single livin'! / Amy: You have to cut them off, cast them out!
/ Ryan: Man all right, but it ain't dang well fair.
/ [[Ryan writes a list]] / Ryan: The top ones are who I secretly like. The bottom ones like me but I can't tell em it ain't ever happenin'. / Amy: Ooo! Someone has a high opinion of himself.
/ Ryan: It's primitive. I'm a magnet for the glad eye. Ladies sense I might be good at carpentry. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080115 |
| Scary Go Round 20080116 | Amy: There's a reason unrequited love is unrequited. One party doesn't want to do mummy-daddies with the other. You have to end it quick, like ripping off a plaster. / Ryan: But how?
/ [[Amy points to the car.]]
/ Amy: Have we learned nothing from the East Coast / West Coast rap wars? Employ the techniques of the drive-by shooting! / Ryan shouting from car: Basically no sense of humour, sorry! / Ryan: You said "I don't do politics, that's dismal thinkin'! / Ryan: It's just a bigger bottom than I'm comfortable movin' forward with!
/ Amy: You monster! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080116 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: There's a reason unrequited love is unrequited. One party doesn't want to do mummy-daddies with teh other. You have to end it quick, like ripping off a plaster. / Ryan: But how?
/ Amy: Have we learned nothing from the East Coast/West Coast rap wars? Employ the techniques of the drive-by shooting!
/ [[Amy directs Ryan to her car]] / [[Driving by quickly, Ryan shouts to women on the street]]
/ Ryan: Basically no sense of humour, sorry! / Ryan: You said "I don't do politics", that's dismal thinkin'! / Ryan: It's just a bigger bottom than I'm comfortable movin' forward with!
/ Amy: You monster! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080116 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: The only girl you're admitting having a crush on is... Hugo's girlfriend?
/ Ryan: Ame, come on, enough for one day. / Amy: Margo Plodz, the crocheting clotheshorse? She doesn't have a bottom, Ryan! She's all hair, she looks like an abandoned game of Hangman! / Ryan: Amy stop! You're not going to tell her! This sort of thing is a big problem between men! You don't want to see two dude's wrestlin' with tears in their eyes. It's unsightly! / Hugo: Welcome to the house that Hugo built. We have just received a glow in the dark pool table to celebrate Margo shifting much X-Mas units.
/ Amy: Audaciously ostentatious! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080117 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Upstairs in Hugo's house, Amy appears from out of Hugo's bedroom]]
/ Amy: Ryan look! Prophylactics! Dreadful unguents! Hugo and Margo totally do it day and night!
/ Ryan: Get out of there! You're crossin' the line! / [[Amy is lying on Hugo's bed, while Ryan tries to pull her from it]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080118 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy is rummaging through Hugo's washroom]]
/ Amy: Ryan look! Prophylactics! Dreadful unguents! Hugo and Margo totally do it day and night!
/ Ryan: Get out of there! You're crossing the line! / [[Amy lays on the Hugo's bed and imitates Margo]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080118 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Amy, your incorrigible ways are startin' to make a lot of problems in my life.
/ Amy: You love my ways! If it's not hurting, it's not working! / Hugo: Oh! Much apologies!
/ Hugo did not realise love had blossomed in your communal area. / Ryan: This ain't horseplay, Hugo...
/ ...This is a war of rival forces. / Ryan: Ame's tryin' to fix my life, but she ain't got the tools.
/ Amy: Hey! If you don't find a job and a lady, you'll end up living on Special Brew...
/ In some kind of burrow. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080121 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy and Ryan tussle on Hugo's bead]]
/ Ryan: Amy, your incorribible ways are startin' to make a lot of problems in my life.
/ Amy: You love my ways! If it's not hurting, it's not working! / [[Hugo walks into the room]]
/ Hugo: Oh! Much apologies! Hugo did not realise love had blossomed in your communal area. / Ryan: This ain't lovin' horseplay, Hugo... ...this is a war of rival forces. / Ryan: Ame's tryin' to fix my life, but she ain't got the tools.
/ Amy: Hey, if you don't find a job and a lady, you'll end up living on special brew... ...in some kind of burrow. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080121 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hugo: There is a lot of energy in this room... All directed the wrong way.
/ Like a nuclear power station dedicated to carving the moon in two. / Hugo: Amy, you are a battering ram of love.
/ But Ryan is a foundling, a gentle character.
/ His is the delicate approach. / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080122 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hugo: There is a lot of energy in this room... all directed the wrong way. Like a nuclear power station dedicated to carving the moon in two. / Hugo: Amy, you are a battering ram of love. But Ryan is a foundling, a gentel character. His is the delicate approach. / [[Hugo writes a cheque and deftly hands it to Amy]]
/ Hugo: Here is a cheque for E2000 to develop your antiquing ways. May Hugo suggest a bijoy boutique where you can maximise your evident charms. / Hugo: Ryan, you will be my apprentice, learning at the master's knee.
/ Ryan: I ain't sittin' on the floor, Hugo. The floor's for feet. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080122 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: A shop! My own shop!
/ In Tackleford's cultural "pound shop" quarter!
/ Ryan: You totally did it, Ame.
/ You totally signed a contract and put down a deposit. / Ryan: You're a billionaire player with none of the cumbersome trappin's of success.
/ Amy: You can work for me, Ryan! The old team! / Ryan: You're a swell gal, but...
/ ...But you're ridin' me into an early grave with your monstrous habits.
/ Amy: Fine. / Amy: I'll get one of my old art school friends in...
/ ...Someone timid and easily bossed. / Amy: Melanie Soap!
/ She liked vintage medical equipment and her degree show involved "felt animals at play"!
/ That's the kind of lovable deviant I can work with! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080123 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan and Amy stand in front of a building to let]]
/ Ryan: You totally did it, Ame. You totally signed a contract and put down a deposit.
/ Amy: A shop! My own shop! In Tackleford's cultural "pound shop" quarter! / Ryan: You're a billionaire player with none of the cumbersome trappin's of success.
/ Amy: You can work for me, Ryan! The old team! / Ryan: You're a swell gal, but... ... but you're ridin' me into an early grave with your monstrous habits.
/ Amy: Fine. / Amy: I'll get one of my old art school friends in... ...someone timid and easily bossed. / [[Amy reads her art school yearbook]]
/ Amy: Melanie soap! She liked vintage medical equipment and her degree show involved "felt animals at play"! That's teh kind of loveable deviant I can work with! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080123 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: So Melanie, you run your own magazine out of here? Wow!
/ Melanie: Yes, that's right.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080124 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy is in Melanie's studio]]
/ Amy: So Melanie, you run your own magazine out of here? Wow!
/ Melanie: Yes, that's right. / Melanie: Amy, this is...
/ Chloron: Chloron. Just "Chloron".
/ Amy: Isn't he a live wire? / Amy: This is nice! So glossy, no adverts, how do you make money?
/ Melanie: Well, it's not really about making money. / Chloron: Which is useful, because every issue is published at a crippling loss.
/ Melanie: Well, we're bi-monthly, so I can always slip in a 30-day medical trial. / Melanie: It's not so bad...
/ Chloron: That's not what you said after you spent July with a handlebar moustache and narcolepsy. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080124 |
| Scary Go Round 20080125 | [[Ethel and Maud, in the Help the Wretched shop, look out the window.]]
/ Ethel: What's she up to over there, that gel? "Bric A Brac"?
/ Maud: It's a charity shop without the charity! / Ethel: Sellin' tat without givin' money to one-eyed kiddies and little doggies with wheels for back legs?
/ Maud: Yeah! / [[We see them putting up the shopsign, and Amy and Chloron in front.]]
/ Maud: Look at that shameless floozy! She's even got one of them am-droids!
/ Ethel: You know what this means! Gentrification! / Ethel: First a shop sellin' expensive junk... then one o' them coffee bars opens... the chippie becomes a deli-cart-essen...
/ Maud: Then everyone starts speakin' French! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080125 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Owners of a charity shop across the street observe Amy setting up shop]]
/ Ethel: What's she up to over there, that gel? "Bric a Brac"?
/ Maud: It's a charity shop without the charity! / Ethel: Sellin' tat without givin' money to one-eyed kiddies and little doggies with wheels for back legs?
/ Maud: Yeah! / [[Chloron and Amy hang a large, colourful sign over their store]]
/ Maud: Look at that shameless floozy! She's even got one of them am-droids!
/ Ethel: You know what this means! Gentrification! / [[Ethel and Maud light their cigarettes angrily]]
/ Ethel: First a shop sellin' expensive junk... ... then one o' them coffee bars opens... ...the chippie becomes a deli-cart-essen
/ Maud: Then everyone starts speakin' French! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080125 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The window of Bric a Brac displays Tiffany lamps, a Degas sketch, and Stravinsky's hat]]
/ Chloron: ...You see Amy, if you run your shop like that, it'll be on fire within a week. You have no grasp of Tat Theory.
/ Amy: Hey! I'm your boss! I own you! Don't talk to me like that! / Amy: When I say dance, you shake your little tushy. In lederhosen when necessary! / Amy: Bric a Brac is a shop where people go for the finest finery. They spend money, we piss it up the wall. Nature's cycle! / Chloron: Do you want to be ram-raided at 2AM on Saturday morning?
/ Amy: That is something... that I do not want. / [[Chloron replaces the lamps and the sketch with a bust and a sign reading "Slightly Imperfect Picard £3"]]
/ Chloron: Plaster bust of Jean-Luc Picard with no nose says "nothing to see here".
/ Amy: At least let me colour in his nose stump. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080128 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Melanie: Do those old ladies spend their whole day watching our shop?
/ Amy: Let them have their fun. Remember, one chicken peck to a varicose vein and it's goodnight Vienna / [[Amy waves a hen-shaped egg holder at Ethel and Maud]]
/ Amy: Bock bock! Pu-cuck! / Ethel: She's tauntin' us, Maud! Says we're chicken!
/ Maud: I'd give 'er a piece of my mind if I wasn't busy stocktakin the Gonks. / Melanie: Hehe! I'm giving Captain Picard a beak and a comb to warn them off. / Ethel: Don't they understand what "thin ice" is?
/ Maud: Global warming, dear. They never lost a friend to a cruel pond. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080129 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ethel: Now Alf, Norris, we've got some lovely things just in.
/ Alf: Oh, er, Ethel...
/ Norris: Bit busy now, like... / Ethel: Saints preserve us, Maud... Alf and Norris are goin' in to Bric a Brac! / Ethel: Them sirens 'ave turned their 'eads with shapely bosoms and luxury trinkets! / Ethel: Short skirts! Ankles! No overpowering liniment smell!
/ Maud: e's givin 'er a Murray Mint. Suck don't crunch, y'harlot. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080130 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Melanie: So how do your divvy powers work, Amy? You see ley lines, don't you? / Melanie: The whole place mapped out in colours... ...like a dog's sense of smell! / Amy: No Melanie. I pick things up and just kind of know they're valuable. / Melanie: Sigh. Oh. / [[Chloron gives Amy a very evil eye]] / [[Melanie imagines a baby elephant spirit atop a parent elephant's back]]
/ Amy: But I only know because my spirit guide tells me.
/ [[Melanie imagines a baby elephant spirit atop a parent elephant's back, pointing out antiques for Amy]]
/ Spirit Elephant: Itshhhhh good schtufff http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080131 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Lovelace and Dinkle are at the Help the Wretched charity sale. So is Amy]]
/ Lovelace: What a waste of a wet Sunday morning this was, Dinkle.
/ Dinkle: A morning spent drunk is never wasted, Lovelace. / Lovelace: Strange though. There's usually plenty of good stuff here.
/ Maud: It's 'er Mr Lovelace, er over there, that Amy Chilters! / Lovelace: Well well! You've got some very nice items there, miss...?
/ Amy: Fnar fnar. Amy Chilton. / Lovelace: You could have left some for the rest of us.
/ Amy: Don't you read the paper? Turns out there's a direct correlation between snoozing and losing. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080201 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ethel: Thanks for comin' down from head office, Morag.
/ Morag: So this Amy Chilton is wreckin' the street for decent folks?
/ Maud: Yeh! / Morag: Well now. What do young gels 'ave that you don't?
/ Ethel: Lovely round knockers?
/ Maud: They know about walkmans! / Morag: A future! We don't 'ave to worry about the future! / Morag: Any kamikaze plan you like! It don't matter to the worms! / Morag: A real pro would take 'er shop out with some tactical subsidence. But you two better stick to petty theft and character assassination. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080204 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Lovelace enters Bric-a-Brac]]
/ Door: Jingle tinkle / Amy Chilton: Well helloooo there, Lovelace.
/ Amy Chilton: Come to see how the other half live?
/ Lovelace: I've come about the situation. / Lovelace: There are enough antiques in this town for the both of us, and-
/ Amy Chilton: Lovelace, you come from a town called The Past.
/ Amy Chilton: I was there a while ago. It's pretty okay!
/ Amy Chilton: But I moved to a place down the road called The Future. / Amy Chilton: Tell you what, we'll have a contest.
/ Amy Chilton: You win, we split the week along gentleman's lines.
/ Amy Chilton: I win, free for all. / [[They shake hands.]]
/ Lovelace: Deal.
/ Amy's Brain: Hee hee. Hee hee hee hee hee! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080205 |
| Scary Go Round 20080205 | [[Lovelace enters Bric A Brac.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080205 |
| Scary Go Round 20080206 | [[Lovelace leaves Bric A Brac, passing Ryan, and winking.]]
/ Ryan: Dang, is that who I think it is?
/ Amy: Ryan, can I have a word with you in the back room? / Amy: I have a small problem. I find Lovelace very attractive.
/ [[Ryan covers up a smile.]]
/ Ryan: What? No. Ol' Lovejoy? What? No. He's 75% leather, and about 68 years old! / Amy: 45 maybe. I can't help it. He's twinkly and authoritative! What are you doing?
/ [[Ryan takes a piece of paper out of a cardboard box.]] / Ryan: Adjustin' my unified theory of what ladies are all about. I'm now thinkin' a lady's attraction to a man is based on elevation above sea level... or proximity to strong magnets. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080206 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Lovelace: So I met Amy Chilton at the King Rat for our contest. She looked pretty as she would all evening, given that her challenge was to drink the bar alphabetically. / [[The bar reads: Absinthe, Baileys, Beer, Bourbon, Champagne, De Kuypers, Egg Flip, Flaming Drambuie, Gin, and so on...]] / [[A hidden tube in Lovelace's sleeve funnels the alcohol down his pant leg]]
/ Lovelace: Unfortunately for Amy, I was using an 18th century "Coward's Funnel"...
/ Lovelace and Amy: Down the hatch! / [[Dinkle lays on the floor, drinking from the other end of the tube]]
/ Lovelace: ...though to my credit, not a drop was wasted.
/ Dinkle: Ah, sweet nutritious nectar! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080207 |
| Scary Go Round 20080208 | [[Lovelace is lugging an extremely drunk Amy over his shoulder.
/ Lovelace: According to your driving license, this is where you live.
/ Amy: S'not / [[He enters the house.]]
/ Amy: 'S sim'lar but my house's the oth'r way up / [[Lovelace has taken Amy's shoes off for her. Amy crawls on the bed seductively.]]
/ Amy: I'm all yours... do wh't you w'nt with me...
/ Lovelace: I'm going to make a dignified exit. / Amy: Loooooooooovelace... / Lovelace (voiceover): There's no mistaking the classic grace and charm of a real lady.
/ Amy: AW C'MON!
/ [[Lovelace is in the doorway leaving, and a bra lands on his head.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080208 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy wakes up with a hangover and her head is pounding furiously]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080211 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Lovelace: I must say, I admire your constitution.
/ Amy: They call me the sexy Lazarus! / Lovelace: You're a well turned out girl, Amy... so what's with all the tattoos? / Amy: Man, don't be a square, daddio. All us beatniks gottem! / Amy: My friend Shelley and I had just lost our jobs at a magazine... so we decided to take a holiday to plot our next moves... / [[Flashback: Amy and Shelley are walking the streets of Portland]]
/ Amy: ...In Portland, Oregon, the home of the epidermal mistake.
/ Shelley: I thought I was cool, but I'm not. I'm the Pocket Protector Princess. Look at my left foot and tell me if the shoe's orthopedic. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080212 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: I'm a mouse of a woman, Ames. I need to danger myself up with action tattoos.
/ Amy: You had a tattoo. You got it lasered off! / Shelley: Yeah, because it was totally rub. / Amy: Shelley, think of your poor mother. / Shelley: Mummy never needs to know. After all, I'm demure. I'm going to get lightning bolts on my hipbones for secret power. / Amy: Well, if you're doing it, so will !
/ Shelley: Hurray! / Amy: Give me $200.
/ Shelley: Boooo. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080213 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tattoo Artist: Come through, Amy.
/ Shelley: Oooh! Is that a mouse? Hello! / Shelley: Do you like cheese? What's your favourite sort? It's impossible to choose? Hee hee!
/ Mouse: Squeak / Shelley: Amy you look flippping crazy! Those are insane!
/ Amy: Show me yours! / Shelley: I was talking to a little mouse then decided not to bother. Like popeye, I ams what I am.
/ Amy: A pipe-smoking mutant sailor? / Lovelace: Your friend sounds certifiable.
/ Amy: She's a danger to herself, and society. I miss her so much. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080214 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ethel: Now Maud, 'ow to remove the pox of "Bric a Brac" from our street.
/ Maud: Fire! Poison! Chop off Melanie's head and send it to 'em in a box! / Ethel: Too risky, Maud. What about a whisperin' campaign run along classic lines?
/ Maud: Yeah! I got carried away there, Ethel. I like little Melanie. Eager to please. / Ethel: Eyyyy.... now what does B-R-O-T-H-E-L spell?
/ Maud: "Success"! / Ethel: Gotta make this back alley look brothely. Sprinkle more johnnies about.
/ Maud: Worrr! The rotton remains of a knocking shop! Chuck this copy of Razzle in a puddle and we're done. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080215 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Melanie: ...So what's all that squiggly business around her middle?
/ Lovelace: Apparently the exact same thing happened the next day. Only this time her friend saw a june bug! / Amy: Hey are you here to show me the ropes? Mentor me so good? Such a good mentoring I walk funny for a week? Bue you two! / Melanie: I don't like Lovelace, Chloron. There's something iffy about him.
/ Chloron: Is it his clothes? His hair? His deep insincerity? / Melanie: No. I think he just drew a willy on the counter.
/ Chloron: You're right. Who would do that? / [[A drawing of a willy disguised as William Shakespeare]]
/ Willy: He frets like a gummed velvet http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080218 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy and Lovelace get in his car]]
/ Amy: I'm quite happy looking for treasure in junk shops, you know.
/ Lovelace: That's nursery school. The real work's done in the auction house. / Amy: Oh, with the pointing and the hammers. I don't know about all that.
/ Lovelace: With your gifts, you could make a week's money in an hour. Come on, remember, I'm your mentor. / [[Dinkle stands outside of the pub]]
/ Amy: Oh, what's to lose. Except huge sums of money. / [[Dinkle enters the car]]
/ Amy: Lovelace, he smells so bad that it's registerin gas white noise and fractals.
/ Dinkle: There's a full "Bunnikins" set at Bumpert's. Looks real! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080219 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Why don't you just buy this stuff yourself? He's got diffie powers, you must be rafted!
/ Dinkle: Ha ha ha! Lovelace hasn't got two groats to rub together! / Dinkle: You have to have money to buy things. It's a fundamental principle of commerce.
/ Lovelace: I'm just having a run of bad luck is all! At least my sole investment for the last decade hasn't been in the brewing industry. / Dinkle: Money well spent! Every hour spend in a stupor is an hour where I don't have to put my hand in my pocket.
/ Amy: Two life coaches? But which to choose! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080220 |
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