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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelby Winner and Shelley Winters are walking down an urban street. They are in front of a corner store with signs in the window for egg cream, Marlboro cigarettes and an ATM.]]
/ Shelley Winters: New York City! Home of boomboxes, breakdancing, and murder.
/ Shelby Winner: Those were the 1980s, Shelley. / [[They pass a wall with flyers and posters pasted on it.]]
/ Shelby Winner: Think of it now as a bad-tempered Disneyland.
/ Shelley Winters: Mickey Mouse cussing you out, yes, yes. Donald Duck shouting at a waitress. / [[They pass a Starbucks.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Goofy doing a wee down a side alley.
/ Shelby Winner: No, that's New Jersey. / [[The street behind them has a traditional yellow taxi cab on it.]]
/ Shelley Winters: New Jersey is the Garden State, Shelby! Don't you like gardens? Are you dead inside?
/ Shelby Winner: I'm sorry. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080516 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: New York City! Home of boomboxes, breakdancing, and MURDER.
/ Shelby: Those were hte 1980s, Shelley. / Shelby: Think of it now as a bad-tempered Disneyland.
/ Shelley: Mickey Mouse cussing you out, yes, yes. Donald Duck shouting at a waitress. / Shelley: Goofy doing a wee down a side alley.
/ Shelby: No, that's New Jersey. / Shelley: New Jersey is the garden state, Shelby! Don't you like gardens? Are you dead inside?
/ Shelby: I'm sorry. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080516 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: I like the subway, it's an inexplicable never-never land! The L! The E! The "6!" Neither rhyme nor reason were involved in naming any of these things. / Shelley: Lines and destinations are arbitrary ... the tracks rearrange themselves by night!
/ Shelby: Why are you babbling, Shelley? / Shelley: I'm a bit nervous about going to Conde Nast. We were kind of naughty with your expenses. / Shelby: Numbers, numbers, Shelley. I doubt they even noticed. Just another number on a balance sheet. / Shelley: It's a wide number! They have calculators! THEY'LL NOTICE! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080519 |
| Scary Go Round 20080519 | Shelley: I like the subway, it's an inexplicable never-never land! The L! The E! The "6!" Neither rhyme nor reason were involved in naming any of these things. / Shelley: Lines and destinations are arbitrary ... the tracks rearrange themselves by night!
/ Shelby: Why are you babbling, Shelley? / Shelley: I'm a bit nervous about going to Conde Nast. We were kind of naughty with your expenses. / Shelby: Numbers, numbers, Shelley. I doubt they even noticed. Just another number on a balance sheet.
/ Shelley: It's a wide number! They have calculators! They'll notice! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080519 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley [[Watching Shelby get bawled out]]: Goodness me, that looks like a full and frank exchange of views. / Shelley [[To 1st visiting businessmen]]: I like your glasses! Are you famous?
/ 2nd visiting businessman [[in Japanese]]: http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080520 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: I can't believe they have free soda pops in the kitchen! How FREEDOMLY!
/ Shelby: Jesus ... I thought he was NEVER going to stop shouting. / Shelby: I think we'd better steer clear of Conde Nast Traveller ... FOREVER.
/ Shelley: I told you that number was too wide! / Shelley: Oh my god oh my god oh my god! It's Malcolm Gladwell!
/ Shelby: GURK! / Shelley: He's my hero! I have to put a Gladwell baby in my womb! It's the only way to keep the human race good! / Shelby: I think he can hear you, Shelley
/ Shelley: ((BLEE GLEE))
/ Malcolm Gladwell: And Malcolm Gladwell likes what he hears! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080521 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Shelby exits her supervisor's room]]
/ Shelley: I can't believe they have free soda pops in the kithen! How freedomly!
/ Shelby: Jesus...I thought he was never going to stop shouting. / Shelby: I think we'd better steer clear of Conde Nast Traveller... forever.
/ Shelley: I told you that number was too wide! / Shelley: Oh my god oh my god oh my god! It's Malcolm Gladwell!
/ [[Shelley grabs Shelby's necktie]]
/ Shelby: Gurk! / Shelley: He's my hero! I have to put a Gladwell baby in my womb! It's the only way to keep the human race good! / Shelby: I think he can hear you, Shelley.
/ Malcolm: And Malcolm Gladwell likes what he hears! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080521 |
| Scary Go Round: May 22, 2008 | [[Malcolm Gladwell is marching down a hallway. A star-struck Shelley trails after him, and Shelby brings up the rear.]]
/ Gladwell: Here's how I see things. The more beautiful redheads who love me who work for the New Yorker... / [[Star-struck Shelley stands next to an annoyed-looking Shelby. Malcolm Gladwell is lying on top of some filing cabinets behind them.]]
/ Gladwell: ...The more likely I am to be on a promise at the office Christmas party.
/ Shelby: But I don't love you. / [[Gladwell is dangling upside-down from the ceiling.]]
/ Gladwell: Beautiful redheads who are friends of beautiful redheads who love me... are 71% more likely to fall for my charms.
/ Shelley: See! He's a GENIUS! / [[Gladwell dances around the two redheads. Shelley looks happy, Shelby looks pensive.]]
/ Gladwell: So what do you say? You'll come work for the New Yorker?
/ Shelby: Don't you have to convince your editor?
/ Gladwell: Leave him to me! / [[Gladwell springs into the office of his editor, who is the famous icon of the magazine - a snooty-looking man in a suit, wearing a top hat and a monocle.]]
/ Gladwell: I brought you a top hat and a monocle!
/ Editor: Top hats and monocles! That's what I like! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080522 |
| Scary Go Round 20080522 | [[Malcolm Gladwell marches through a door, with starstruck Shelley in tow, and Shelby farther back.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080522 |
| May 23, 2008: Shelley and Shelby discuss the presidential campaign | [[Shelley and Shelby are walking down a subway platform, past a large sign identifying the area as Bleecker Street. Shelley is grinning and carrying a green backpack with multi-colored buttons on it, while Shelby looks more serious.]]
/ Shelley: What a day! A fancy commission and free soda pop! America is a dreamland!
/ Shelby: It's going to be tough out there on the election trail, Shelley. / [[Shelley and Shelby are standing in front of the entrance to the subway station.]]
/ Shelby: Middle America won't understand your funny accent and liberal slant. They'll think you're an elitist!
/ Shelley: They're mistaken. I am a FLAUTIST. / [[Shelley and Shelby are walking into a quaint restaurant. Both are smiling.]]
/ Shelley: The flute is a piccolo played side-saddle, Shelby. Now tell me about this "Johnny McCains." / [[Shelley and Shelby sit at a table in a restaurant, with dishes on the table in front of them. Shelby is showing Shelley a picture of a rather round stick-figure wearing an American-flag shirt.]]
/ Shelby: ...Of course, a REAL American hero would have bust loose and torched his captors with a FLAME-THROWER.
/ Shelley: But not without befriending a small local boy first. And kissing a local lady half his age. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080523 |
| Scary Go Round 20080523 | [[Shelley and Shelby at Bleecker Street station.]]
/ Shelley: What a day! A fancy commission and free soda pop! America is a dreamland!
/ Shelby: It's going to be tough out there on the election trail, Shelley. / Shelby: Middle America won't understand your funny accent and liberal slant. They'll think you're an elitist!
/ Shelley: They're mistaken. I am a flautist. / [[They enter the Peculier Pub.]]
/ Shelley: The flute is a piccolo played side-saddle, Shelby. Now tell me about this "Johnny McCains." / Shelby: ...Of course, a real American hero would have bust loose and torched his captives with a FLAME-THROWER.
/ Shelley: But not without befriending a small local boy first. And kissing a local lady half his age. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080523 |
| Scary Go Round: May 26, 2008 - Feats of Strength winning comic, by Lisa Treiman | [[Moon and Desmond are sitting at a table on the submarine, next to a porthole.]]
/ Moon: So be straight with me, Des, where'd you come from?
/ I mean really, what are you?
/ Desmond: Whatever do you mean, Moon? / Moon: Well, you've got gills and fins like a fish... / Moon: ...but you're all scaly and cowardly, like a lizard.
/ Desmond: We've been over this, Moon.
/ I have a SKIN CONDITION. / Desmond: I'm real sensitive about it.
/ I've got some exotic sort of leprosy I think...
/ Moon: 'Sat so? / [[Moon starts tugging on Desmond's arm.]]
/ Moon: So if I were to tug like so...
/ Desmond: No...
/ Wait!
/ Moon!
/ STOP- / [[A surprised-looking Moon snaps off Desmond's arm.]] / [[As Moon clutches Desmond's arm, looking shocked, Desmond instantly sprouts a new arm in the old one's place.]] / [[Moon looks smug, still clutching Desmond's old arm. Desmond looks somewhat sad.]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080526 |
| Scary Go Round: May 27, 2008 - Feats of Strength strip 2 by Nicole E. Robitaille | [[Amy and Shelley are in the kitchen. Shelley is sitting on the floor by the TV. Amy is standing in the kitchen, holding up a box of cereal while a pot cooks on the stove.]]
/ Shelley: Ames, do you know what's been botherin' me lately?
/ Amy: Um... gnomes. / Shelley: It was a rhetorical question.
/ Amy: Well it's usually-
/ Shelley: Amy!
/ SHH!
/ No, it's this movie! / [[Shelley holds up a DVD case which is labeled "Sunshine Forever."]]
/ Shelley: Imagine if this procedure was really possible!
/ What if people are already doing it?
/ What if WE'VE done it...
/ What if we've erased our tragic memories?? / Shelley: Think about it!
/ How would you ever know?!
/ [[Amy pours cereal into the pot on the stovetop.]]
/ Amy: Shelley... / Shelley: And MAYBE, maybe I have a sister or brother I don't even know about!
/ What if...
/ There's a MINI Winters out there, all alone?!
/ Amy, what do you think? / [[Amy hands Shelley a steaming hot bowl of something, as she takes a bowl for herself.]]
/ Amy: Shelley, that is so retarded, it passes through brilliant and comes all the way back to retarded again.
/ Shelley: You're right. / Shelley (very quietly): But I always wanted a little sist-
/ Wait what IS this?!
/ Amy: Cereal soup! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080527 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080528">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080528 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Guest comic by Joel Jessup and Chris Gould, or 'Cruel Gossip' / [Tackleford Thievery Club (and Cads' Advice Bureau)] / ...And so the sphinx's nose remains in private hands ...
/ Zut! That must be your finest act of cracksmanship... / Oh? Reapply your monocle glue and listen to the time I liberated the fabled 'Heart of Wales' / It was kept in a cavern two miles 'neath picturesque Pantyffynnon. Unfortunately the plans I'd pilfered lacked certain key details...like the steam-driven sentry with the preserved head of St. David. / He had the weight advantage so I showed him a clean pair of heels... / And naturally I immediately stumbled into the cell of Space Owl's iron-masked twin brother! / The the real Space Owl and the St. Davidtron burst in! With a lobster!
/ Incroy-bloody-able! How is it you sit here today? / Why not ask them? It was only 20 minutes ago... http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080529 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080530">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080530 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Amy is asleep in bed]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080531 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080601">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080601 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080602">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080602 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | The Boy: Here we go, Esther! We're about to embark on our grand tour of America!
/ Esther: Yes, watch out Fast Food Nation, here we come! / Guard: Hold it right there you two! / The Boy: Is there something wrong? / Guard: Well, you are obviously traveling with a terrorirst! / Esther: A terrorist? / The Boy: Is...is this some kind of reality show? / Guard: Son, it's clear that your cohort is some type of witch, possibly a necromancer! / Guard: What what we can tell the terrorists have begun embedding dark sorceress sleeper cells within our country! / Guard: And that is just the begining! / Guard: Then they will assume the form of mist, enter the White House and kill the President! / Esther: Sir, I can assure you I am no witch-terrorist!
/ The Boy: Yes, we only wish to visit and learn more about your wonderful country! / Guard: Your devil curses won't work on me! Security! / Narrator: Thus,
/ [[Esther and The Boy are being held in Guantanamo]]
/ The Boy: Hey, Esther, EXPECTO PATRONUM.
/ Esther: Oh shut up. / {{Guest comic by Eliot Lucas http://www.whatevercomic.com}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080603 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rock: Oh boy! Here I am in the famous "Monster Town," where I will make my fortune as a monster! / Rock: Wow! Here comes my first victim! / Rock: Hey you! / Rock: LIttle did you know when you left the safety of home that you soon would meet a talking rock! / Rock: Grr grr! ROAR! / Rock: Am I freaking you out? / Shelley: You're a rock.
/ Rock: A talking rock! Wow! Really unnatural! / Shelley: I'm sorry! I'm just not unnerved!
/ Rock: Wait! I can be scarier! / Rock: Grr! I am 6.5 on the Mohs scale of relative hardness! Test me with a sclerometer! / [[Shelley eyes the rock questionably]] / Rock: I just want to freak someone out! / Narrator: SOON:
/ Shelley: The trouble is that the monstering market in this town is entirely saturated. / Amy: It's true! Everybody's jaded now! I saw a giant moth last week and yawned! / Shelley: What you ought to do is find a town with a monster deficit and get in on the ground floor!
/ Rock: I can't! / Rock: I spent all my savings to get here! Everything I'd earned from ten years of standing in a field with a historical marker bolted to my side! / Amy: I know what will make you feel better! Have a lollipop! / Rock: I can't eat lollipops. I'm a rock. / [[Shelley glares angrily at Amy]] / {{Guest comic by Wesley Osam http://www.superdoomedplanet.com}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080604 |
| Shelley, Amy, + Ryan in... Seaside Rendezvous | {{Guest comic by Feats of Strength 2008 competition runner-up Megan Rose Gedris.}}
/ [[A sign reading "BEACH" with an arrow. Shelley pushes Ryan in the indicated direction. Amy walks alongside, with a bag reading "Sun! Fun! [unreadable]un!" on her elbow. All three are in swimwear. Shelley wears green glasses.]]
/ Shelley: No more being single, Ryan! You need to get out and meet some girls! Girls who aren't me and Amy! Girls who will let you kiss them!
/ Ryan (shouting): *Aw, no!* I do not want to go! I have things to do! *Important* things! Don't bring me to the beach! There are crabs, and I am too pale! Ladies will run from my blinding chest! / [[At the beach. Shelley has developed some freckles; in the previous panel, she had none.]]
/ Amy: You think *you* look pale? Look at Shelley! Poor ginger girl! In the sun ten minutes and already she is *freckling*!
/ Shelley: Soon I shall be one giant mole, while Amy becomes an attractive hue of buttered toast. It is most unfair. / {{Panel inset into previous panel.}}
/ Ryan: I suppose I can put off loafin' around the flat for one afternoon. / Ryan: There are no ladies on this beach.
/ Ryan: There is *no one* on this beach!
/ Ryan: You two didn't lure me here to take advantage of me, did you? Because that is *not cool*! / Amy: There *are* ladies here, Ryan!
/ Shelley: You just need to know where to look! / [[Shelley has run into the sea; Amy is running towards same.]]
/ Amy: Come on! / [[Shelley and Ryan stand in the water. Shelley (now with freckles on all parts of her body) gives Ryan a fish.]]
/ Shelley: Hold this. It attracts them!
/ Ryan: Attracts *what* exactly? / [[A green mermaid with purple hair splashes out of the water.]]
/ Mermaid: Is that a spotfin croaker?!
/ [[Ryan holds the fish and stares at the mermaid. Pink hearts float above his head.]] / [[Amy jumps in front of the mermaid.]]
/ Amy (shouts): Oh no!
/ Amy: Not her!
/ Amy: Have any mermaid but her! / [[The mermaid pushes Amy's head into the water.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080605 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | {{Guest Comic by Simon Perrins}} / [[Big Lindsay, Sarah Grote, and Esther are standing outside.]] Big Lindsay: Is this place any good?
/ Esther:Apparently, it's 25% more sepulchral than Misery of Sound. / [[Esther is standing outside a building, pointing to a door. Above the door is a sign that says 'Carpe Noctum', and surrounding are dark-looking people.]] Esther: Remember, it's all about attitude. You have to show the part-timers that you're the real thing. Think dark thoughts. / [[Stairwell]] Caption: My heart is a tomb / [[Close-up of high-heeled boot]] Caption: My soul, wreathed in black ice / [[Several dark people, unnamed]] Caption: Darker than Whitby Jet / [[Large Panel. Esther walking forward on the dance floor.]] Large caption: I am the night, colour me black. / [[Esther, Shelley, and Amy are standing on the dance floor. Shelley and Amy are pretending to be gothic.]] Shelley:EEEEE! Dark Esther!! We're having a fun "Rock" night!
/ Esther, hesitant: Uh... Hello Shelley.
/ Shelley,smiling brightly: Is this Nightwish? Or the My Chemical Valentines?
/ Amy: Don't ell anyone, but we're not real Gothics! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080606 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080607">http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080607 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Amy! I've finally figured out why our casual acquaintaces keep falling victim to super-natural shenanigans. / [[A chart showing a butterfly, leading to a squirrel on water skis, leading to a hurricane, leading to Jeff Goldblum, leading to a Werewolftapus]]
/ Shelley: It's butterflies. Their tiny wing flaps are causing entirely too much chaos.
/ Amy: You're right this all checks out. / Amy: We must take action. Legal action!
/ Shelley: I'll get the bungee cords! / [[LEGISLATION!]] / Narration: That evening.
/ [[At City Hall, a large banner reading "Butterfly Ban"]]
/ Mayor: Thanks to these courageous women, Tackleford is now rid of the butterfly menace. / Amy: That sure was easy.
/ Shelley: Perhaps but I can't shake this feeling that we've missed something. / Shelley: Gasp, it's moths! / Shelley: They have wings too! / {{Guest comic by Nicholas Daniel www.lagendcomic.com}} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080608 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Amy! I've finally figured out why our casual acquaintances keep falling victim to super-natural shenanigans. / [[Shelley gives Amy a paper showing a buterfly flapping its wings, leading to a squirrel on water skis, leading to a hurricane, leading to Jeff Goldblum leading to a werewolftapus]]
/ Shelley: It's butterflies. Their tiny wing flaps are causing entirely too much chaos.
/ Amy: You're right this all checks out / Amy: We must take action. Legal action!
/ Shelley: I'll get the bungee cords! / Title: Legislation! / Title: That evening.
/ [[At City Hall the town is gathered beneath a banner reading Butterfly Ban]]
/ Mayor: Thanks to these courageous women, Tackleford is now rid of the butterfly menace. / Amy: That sure was easy.
/ Shelley: Perhaps but I can't shake this feeling that we've missed something. / [[A moth flutters by Shelley]]
/ Shelley: Gasp, it's moths! / Shelley: They have wings too!
/ [[A Werewolftapus surrounded by moths lurks in the shadows]] / {{Guest comic by Nicholas Daniel >> http://lagendcomic.com }} http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080608 |
| Scary Go Round 20080609 | [[Hugo in a suit. Boxes piled high marked MЯCO.]]
/ Hugo: Hugo returns from a hard-earned mini-break to much unscheduled deliveries. Apprentice, what is the meaning of this? / [[Ryan is at a desk, a marker in his hand.]]
/ Ryan: Now Hugo, before you go all crazy, I can explain. There were some men from the former Soviet bloc. They had some very persuasive arguments for low cost dinners. / [[Hugo looks, forlorn, at the empty office safe.]]
/ Ryan: I had to offset the threat of losin' fingers with most of Hugo Industries' liquid capital. / [[Hugo LOOMS over Ryan forebodingly.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080609 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hugo: Hugo returns from a hard-earned mini-break to much unscheduled deliveries. / Apprentice, what is the meaning of this? / Ryan: Now Hugo, before you go all crazy, I can explain. There were some men from teh former Soviet bloc. They had some very persuasive arguments for low cost dinners. / Ryan: I had to offset the threat of losin' fingers with most of Hugo Industries' liquid capital. / [[Hugo looms over Ryan]] < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080609 |
| Scary Go Round 20080610 | [[Ryan in front of piled-high boxes marked "MЯCO", reading a notice.]]
/ Ryan: You're terminatin' my employment immediately? What happened to second chances? / [[He crumples the notice angrily. Hugo has his arms out in anger.]]
/ Ryan: What happened to old time loyalty?
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080610 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: You're terminatin' my employment immediately? / What happened to second chances? / [[Ryan crumples the termination contract]] < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080610 |
| Scary Go Round 20080611 | [[Esther, her hair now a deep pink, comes up to mopey Ryan on the sidewalk.]]
/ Esther: Ryan, why are you sitting on the pavement at 10 o'clock in the morning?
/ Ryan: Esther, do you ever feel like just when you know what was goin' on in life, and maybe winnin'... it all collapses? / Esther: You mean like when you have a really good pair of tights and you put your heel through them? / Ryan: See, you understand me in a non-judgemental way. Hugo fired me. I'm a spent force in life. / [[She sits down on the sidewalk with him.]]
/ Ryan: I'm thinkin' about givin' up. Maybe just livin' in a hole in the ground with a plastic sheet over it. / Esther: Did you ever think about crawling into the space between the wall and the sofa to die? I always think that would be the most perfect thing. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080611 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Esther: Ryan, why are you sitting on the pavement at 10 o'clock in the morning?
/ Ryan: Esther, do you ever feel like just when you know what was goin' on in life, and maybe winnin'... ...it all collapses? / Esther: You mean like when you have a really good pair of tights and you put your heel through them? / Ryan: See, you understand me in a non-judgemental way. Hugo fired me. I'm a spent force in life. / Ryan: I'm thinkin' about givin' up. Maybe just livin' in a hole in the ground with a plastic sheet over it. / Esther: Did you ever think about crawling into the space between the wall and the sofa to die? I always think that would be the most perfect thing. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080611 |
| Scary Go Round 20080612 | Ryan: I gots to get another job, Esther. I don't have fantastic money-making powers or much exams. / Esther: You're a free thinker. A square peg among round holes. Become a postman.
/ Ryan: Woah. / Esther: Out from under the watchful eye of The Man... free to come up with ideas, and home by 3 o'clock! / [[She playfully springs on Ryan.]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080612 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: I gots to get another job, Esther. I don't have fantastic money-making powers or much exams. / Esther: You're a free thinker. A square peg among round holes. Become a postman.
/ Ryan: Woah. / Esther: Out from under the watchful eye of the man... ...free to come up with ideas, and home by 3 o'clock! / [[Esther jumps and grabs Ryan about the waist]] < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080612 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: I was wonderin' how you go about becomin' a postman. / [[A postman grabs Ryan and pulls him through the inquiry window]] / Postman 1: Here's an alarm clock / Postman 2: Put on this shirt / Postman 1: Summer means shorts
/ Ryan: Aw but my knees! / Postman 2: Take these letters / [[A postman throws Ryan out of a moving Royal Mail truck with his bag of letters]]
/ Ryan: Wait! What's the poicy on fierce dogs? Is it OK to punch them in the beak? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080613 |
| Scary Go Round 20080613 | [[Ryan at the post office.]]
/ Ryan: I was wonderin' how you go about becomin' a postman. / [[He is grabbed and hauled through the window.]] / Postman 1: Here's an alarm clock / Postman 2: Put on this shirt / Postman 3: Summer means shorts
/ Ryan: Aw but my knees! / Postman 4: Take these letters / [[He is tossed out the back of a Royal Mail truck.]]
/ Ryan: Wait! What's the policy on fierce dogs? Is it OK to punch them in the beak? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080613 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Becomin' a postman's like joinin' the army. They gotta break you down to nothin' then build you back up again. / Ryan: You don't have to go to boot camp because you're never going to be asked to cold cock anyone with a rifle. In fact, that's frowned upon. / Ryan: But it's a responsible position, servin' the public. / Ryan: If you don't deliver a letter, maybe someone gets so sad that they drive their car into an electricity substation. Then the national grid goes down. / Ryan: Soon there's looting and anarchy in the streets. Next the army gets called in. / Ryan: In that way, the Royal Mail is a vital first line of defence. It ain't a job to do on heavy medication. Or if you think you might secretly be a communist. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080616 |
| Scary Go Round 20080617 | Amy: Ryan, where have you been? I haven't seen you for days.
/ Ryan: I'm now a postman in Sutton-on-Sea. It's complicated. / [[Amy is bemused.]]
/ Amy: Sutton-on-Sea!
/ Ryan: All that sea air, I'm so tired. It's arguably too bracin'. / Amy: Well, you better not be too tired... for Fan Fiction Friday! / [[Ryan holds up a handwritten booklet titled "Spider Man and the Mystery Horse", to Amy's delight.]]
/ Ryan: All I do is walk around waiting for the next dog to bite me. I ain't been thinkin' about anything else. / [[Outside. Hot dogs are on a grill.]]
/ Amy: "Chewbacca walked into the spaceport and didn't know where to look. Battlestar Galactica was doin' it with the Millennium Falcon."
/ Ryan: Ame, the genre of fan fiction just collapsed like a dead star. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080617 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Ryan, where have you been? I haven't seen you for days.
/ Ryan: I'm a postman now in Sutton-on-Sea. It's complicated. / Amy: Sutton-on-Sea!
/ Ryan: All that sea air, I'm so tired. It's arguably too bracin'. / Amy: Well you better not be too tired... for Fan Fiction Friday! / Ryan: All I do is walk around waiting for the next dog to bite me. I ain't been thinkin' about anything else.
/ [[Ryan pulls out a paper reading: Spider Man and the Mystery Horse]] < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080617 |
| Scary Go Round 20080618 | [[Ryan is on Amy's couch reading "Wasp Fancier".]]
/ Amy: I heard from Shelley today. She doesn't think she'll be back for six months.
/ Ryan: Aw, that's a shame. She won't get the benefit of the huge TV you bought or how you got a cleanin' lady now. / [[Amy slumps onto the couch from behind.]]
/ Ryan: It's funny how no one has a cleanin' man. Men have bigger hands, they might be more efficient at scrubbin'. / Amy: That's absolutely fascinating. I was wondering if you wanted Shelley's room permanently. / Ryan: Does this mean I can have my own non-floral duvet cover? Maybe hang some model planes from the light fitting?
/ Amy: Well, I was hoping you'd wear a ginger wig, glasses and her clothes. But run with your deviant peccadilloes if you must. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080618 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan sits on the couch reading "Wasp Fancier" magazine]]
/ Amy: I heard from Shelley today. She doesn't think she'll be back for six months.
/ Ryan: Aw, that's a shame. She won't get the benefit of the huge TV you bought or how you got a cleanin' lady now. / Ryan: It's funny how no one has a cleanin' man. Men have bigger hands, they might be more efficient at scrubbin'. / Amy: That's absolutely fascinating. I was wondering if you wanted shelley's room permanently. / Ryan: Does this mean I can have my own non-floral duvet cover?
/ Amy: Well, I was hoping you'd wear a ginger wig, glasses and her clothes. But run iwth your deviant peccadilloes if you must. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080618 |
| Scary Go Round 20080619 | [[Ryan is hanging paper model airplanes from a ceiling lamp. Des hands him Comrade Bat. Des is wearing a ginger wig, fake ginger beard, glasses, and a blue T-shirt the same color as Shelley's iconic one, in case we didn't get the message.]]
/ Des: Ryan, your space mouse thing is complaining. Make it stop. / Ryan: He's hungry for his acorns, Des. Also he ain't got any manners. / [[He looks in a bag, which is empty.]]
/ Ryan: I must've left the new tub at work. I'd better go back and get it.
/ Des: Take him with you. He's ruining Antiques Roadshow. / [[Ryan tucks Comrade Bat into his coat pocket and casts a weary eye at Des.]] / [[He confronts Amy, who is doing her eyelashes.]]
/ Ryan: Whatever is goin' on out there stops right now.
/ Amy: You never let me have any fun. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080619 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Des: Ryan, your space mouse thing is complaining. Make it stop. / Ryan: He's hungry for his acorns, Des. Also he ain't got any manners. / Ryan: I must've left the new tub at work. I'd better go back and get it.
/ Des: Take him with you. He's ruining Antiques Roadshow. / [[Ryan puts the bat in his pocket and scrutinises Des]] < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080619 |
| Scary Go Round 20080620 | [[Ryan comes to the post office in the middle of the night. Comrade Bat is in his jacket pocket.]]
/ Ryan: Now you be quiet, Comrade Bat. If they see me, they might make me do some work, and I'm strictly off the clock. Don't want to accidentally get promoted to middle management. / [[Ryan opens his locker, shushing Comrade Bat. On the other side of the bank of lockers, two men converse.]]
/ Man: When does she make shore?
/ Ken: 2AM. The wreckers are in place. / [[Ken wields a pistol.]]
/ Ken: Look at that. Do you know what that is? A gun. For shooting. Shooty shooty gun gun.
/ Man: Did you hear someone?
/ [[Walking around the corner, Ryan hears them.]] / [[By the time they see him, Ryan has his hands around his ears, mimicking headphone-holding, and is caterwauling.]]
/ Ryan: ALL THAT SHE WANTS, IS ANOTHER BABY - THIS IS PROBABLY DAMAGING MY HEARING - BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080620 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Now you be quiet, Comrade Bat. If they see me, they might make me do some work, and I'm strictly off the clock. Don't want to accidentally get promoted to middle management. / Postman 1: When does she make shore?
/ Postman 2: 2AM. The wreckers are in place. / Postman 2: Look at that. Do you know what that is? A gun. For shooting. Shooty shooty gun gun.
/ Postman 1: Did you hear someone?
/ [[Ryan stops dead in his tracks]] / [[Ryan pretends he is listening to a walkman]]
/ Ryan: All that she wants, is another baby / This is probably damaging my hearing / But I just don't want to hear anything else! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080620 |
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