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Scary Go Round 20080623 Ryan: Huf puf / [[Ryan runs into the house and leans, panting, against the door.]] / Ryan: Dang, dang, DANG! / [[He pounds on Amy's bedroom door.]] / Ryan: Amy! Ame! / <> / Amy: Go away! / [[She comes out of her bedroom in her woolly hat and a bedsheet.]] / Amy: Did you have a nightmare? Or wet the bed? Did you have a nightmare about wetting the bed? / [[He enters and sits on the edge of her bed, agitated. She grumpily sits on the bed.]] / Ryan: Ame, what would you do if you knew somethin' bad was goin' on at work? / Amy: I would let me friends sleep during the night, and ask them during the day. That would be the cornerstone of my plan.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080623
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Ryan is running, out of breath]] / Ryan: Huf puf / [[He shuts the door behind him]] / Ryan: Dang, dang, DANG! / <> / Ryan: Amy! Ame! / Amy: Go away! / Amy: Did you have a nightmare? Or wet the bed? Did you have a nightmare about wetting the bed? / Ryan: Ame, what would you do if you knew somethin' bad was goin' on at work? / Amy: I would let my friends sleep during the night and ask them during the day. That would be the cornerstone of my plan.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080623
Scary Go Round 20080624 [[Amy is now dressed. In another room, Ryan turns on the light. Amy's T-shirt apparently reads "BRA".]] / Ryan: Ame, it was dark and terrifyin'. I caught three of my colleagues discussin' skulduggery. / Amy: Skulduggery you say? Tell me more! Was there a gun? / Ryan: Yeah! I only made it out of there by pretendin' to be a simpleton. They suspected nothin' so I followed them to learn more. / Amy: A simpleton! Quite a stretch for you! / [[Ryan hiding behind some rocks overlooking the seashore.]] / Ryan (voiceover): I followed them to a rocky cove where a bunch of lads had built a real crummy lighthouse. I think they might have been up to some illegal coastguardin'. Takin' jobs from honest salts. / Amy: Ryan, they were smugglers! The fake lighthouse makes ships crash! / Ryan: You gotta be into coastguardin' in a sick way to crash the ships you're savin' yourself!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080624
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Ame, it was dark and terrifyin'. I caught three of my colleagues discussin' skulduggery. / Amy: Skulduggery you say? Tell me more! Was there a gun? / Ryan: Yeah! I only made it out of there by pretendin' to be a simpleton. They suspected nothin' so I followed them to learn more. / Amy: A simpleton! Quite a stretch for you! / Ryan: I followed them to a rocky cove where a bunch of lads had built a real crummy lighthouse. I think they might have been up to some illegal coastguardin'. Takin' jobs from honest salts. / Amy: Ryan, they were smugglers! The fake lightouse makes ships crash! / Ryan: You gotta be into coastguardin' ini a sick way to crash the ships you're savin' yourself!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080624
Scary Go Round 20080625 [[Amy gestures expressively.]] / Amy: Ryan, it makes perfect sense. Postmen are the ultimate smugglers! They have vans... a delivery network... and all the requisite customs forms to keep the Inland Revenue off the scent! / Ryan: We have to call the police. / [[Amy shakes him.]] / <> / Amy: Don't be a fool, man! We don't know how deep this runs! / Amy: Don't get on the wrong side of the Royal Mail. They control everything! / [[Ryan rubs his sore arm.]] / Ryan: You're thinkin' of the reptilian one-world government. / Amy: A bill goes "missing'. Your electric gets cut off. Your bank details are "accidentally" sent to a Russian crime syndicate. / [[Depictions of an envelope being burned, another envelope wafting through the air above some onion domes, and scheming Russians gleefully opening it.]] / Ryan: You're going to say we should take them down from the inside. And by we, you mean me, while you take a mini-break in Vienna. / Amy: ST TROPEZ!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080625
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Ryan, it makes perfect sense. Postmen are the ultimate smugglers! They have vans... a delivery network... ...and all the requisite customs forms to keep the inland revenue off the scent! / Ryan: We have to call the police. / [[Amy shakes Ryan]] <> / Amy: Don't be a fool, man! We don't know how deep this runs! / Amy: Don't get on the wrong side of the Royal Mail. They control everything! / Ryan: You're thinkin' of the reptilian one-world government. / Amy: A bill goes "missing". Your electric gets cut off. Your bank details are "accidentally" sent to a Russian crime syndicate. / Ryan: You're going to say we should take them down from the inside. And by we, you mean me. While you take a mini-break in Vienna. / Amy: St Tropez!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080625
Scary Go Round 20080626 [[Melanie knocks on the window.]] / <> / Melanie: Coo-ee! Hi Amy! / [[Amy lets her in.]] / Amy: Melanie, this is unexpected. / Melanie: You left this half-finished bottle of pop at work on Friday... Oh hi Ryan! / [[She holds out a bottle with an inch of soda left as she moves to the next room.]] / [[Grumpy Amy.]] / Amy: I love it when my employees drop in unannounced on Sunday morning. But you knew that, right? / [[Melanie sits on the couch by Ryan, tilting her head bashfully.]] / Melanie: So what have you been up to, Ryan? I haven't seen you in ages. / Ryan: Aw you know, makin' time, spendin' time. I gotta help Amy out. / Ryan: If I'd known savin' that gal's life would make her love me, I'd have done it in disguise. / Amy: Tell her she's not your chosen baby bucket! NOW! / Melanie: Say, Ryan, you should come to dinner with my family! / Ryan (in a small voice): Oh uh sure, that'd be magically super.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080626
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy knocks at the window]] <> / Melanie: Coo-ee! Hi Amy! / Amy: Melanie, this is unexpected. / Melanie: You left this half-finished bottle of pop at work on friday... Oh hi Ryan! / Amy: I love it when my employees drop in unannounced on Sunday morning. But you knew that, right? / Melanie: So what have you been up to, Ryan? I haven't seen you in ages. / Ryan: Aw you know, makin time, spendin' time. I gotta help Amy out. / Ryan: If I'd know savin' that gal's life would make her love me, I'd have done it in disguise. / Amy: Tell her she's not your chosen baby bucket! Now! / Melanie: Say, Ryan, you should come to dinner with my family! / Ryan: Oh uh sure, that'd be magically super.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080626
Scary Go Round 20080627 [[Ryan stares into space at the prospect of meeting Melanie's parents.]] / Amy: Dinner at the house of the local magistrate! How delightful! / Ryan: I saved Melanie from a fire. The least I can do is marry her. Aside from the total lack of chemistry, she'll be a good spouse. / [[Amy has changed into a blue dress.]] / <> / Ryan: Anyway, maybe I'll get killed foilin' those smugglers first. / Amy: See! For every downside, there's an upside! / Amy: What you're going to have to do is earn their trust, fast... bring doughnuts to work. / [[Ryan comes to work pushing a baby carriage. On the wall is a sign: "NO PASTRIES - Jammy fingers spoil our mail - by order of the management".]] / <> / [[Ryan winks.]] / Ryan: Morning fellows, thought you might like to meet Ryan Junior! / [[The carriage is full of doughnuts.]] / Co-worker 1: Ehh that is a fine boy, sir. / Co-worker 2: Quite the lad. / {{donut}}
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080627
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Dinner at the house of the local magistrate! How delightful! / Ryan: I saved Melanie from a fire. The least I can do is marry her. Apart from the total lack of chemistry, she'd be a good spouse. / Ryan: Anyway, maybe I'll get killed foilin' those smugglers first. / Amy: See! For every downside, an upside! / [[Amy puts on a dress]] <> / Amy: What you're going to have to do is ear their trust, fast... ...bring doughnuts to work. / [[Ryan wheels a pram by a poster reading: "No Pastries - Jammy fingers spoil our mail - By order of the management." The wheels of the pram squeal]] / <> / Ryan: Morning fellows, thought you might like to meet Ryan Junior! / [[In the pram is a "baby" constructed of doughnuts, made to resemble ET. The postmen take the pastries]] / Postman 1: Ehh that is a fine boy, sir. / Postman 2: Quite the lad.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080627
 
Scary Go Round 20080630 [[Ryan opens his wallet and a moth emerges.]] / Ryan: Three weeks to payday and me without a brass farthin'. I need to get my hands on some scratch. / [[The smugglers are eating his doughnuts.]] / Smuggler: What do you say, Ken? Let him in on the deal? / Ken: Well I didn't trust the lad. But then he brought in, you know... the circle with jam within. / Smuggler: You see in him a fellow traveller in Blackbeard's way? / Ken: Well if he ain't... / [[Ken opens his lunchbox to take out a banana and reveal a pistol.]] / Smuggler: Put that thing away man, you'll hang us all! / Ken: Heh heh heh / [[At the lockers, they approach Ryan.]] / Ken: So Ryan, you're interested in some overtime? A bit of work in special deliveries? / Ryan: Sure! But I gotta warn you. I'm medically certified as havin' no morals and... crime diabetes. Ain't fair not to be upfront about it.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080630
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Three weeks to payday andme without a brass farthin'. I need to get my hands on some scratch. / Postman 1: What do you say, Ken? Let him in on the deal? / Ken: Well I didn't trust the lad. But then he brought in, you know... ...the circle with jam within. / Postman 1: You seem in him a fellow traveller in Blackbeard's way? / Ken: Well if he ain't... / [[Ken opens his lunchbox to reveal a gun]] / Postman 1: Put that thing away, man, you'll hang us all! / Ken: Heh heh heh / Ken: So Ryan, you're interested in some overtime? A bit of work in special deliveries? / Ryan: Sure! But I gotta warn you. I'm metically certified as havin' no morals and.. crime diabetes. Ain't fair not to be upfront about it.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080630
Scary Go Round 20080701 [[Ryan and his newfound partner in crime Ken are skulking by the seaside at night. Ken has a crowbar.]] / Ryan: How do you wreck ships? I though a basic thing about sailors was that they understood boats. / Ken: We trap 'em with Old blinky, here. Dashed on the rocks, their bounty soon hits shore. / Ryan: You crash them with a temporary lighthouse? Don't boats got radar? / Ken: Hollywood nonsense! Most boats still rely on the "winged sextant". / Ken: ...A moth in a jar, drawn to light from the shore. / Ryan: Dang, that's embarrasin'ly rudimentary. / <> / <>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080701
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: How do you wreck ships? I thought a basic thing about sailors was that they understood boats. / Ken: We trap 'em with old blinky, here. Dashed on the rocks, their bounty soon hits shore. / Ryan: You crash them with a temporary lightouse? Don't boats got radar? / Ken: Hollywood nonsense! Most boats still rely on the "winged sextant". / Ken: ...a moth in a jar, draw to light from the shore. / Ryan: Dang, that's embarassingly rudimentary.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080701
Scary Go Round 20080702 Ryan: What about the sailors? Not that I object to crimes and that... but they got wives and children and dogs. / Ken: Well, most cling to driftwood until rescue comes. Some make shore and receive summary justice. / [[They go down to the beach, where the other smugglers are preparing clubs, knives, and crowbars.]] / Ken: 'Tis a ltitle known fact... a sailor whose boat is wrecked soon comes filled with a powerful shame. / [[He briefly lights a flashlight.]] / <> / Ken: Some take holy orders, others pursue a remote life in the Scottish highlands. Shepherding, perhaps. / Ryan: I guess most just get between the wall and the sofa and let the end come. / Ken: A fanciful notion... but it has merit.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080702
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: What about the sailors? Not that I object to crimes and that... ...but they got wives and children and dogs. / Ken: Well, most cling to driftwood until rescue comes. Some make shore and receive summary justice. / Ken: 'Tis a little known fact... ...a sailor whose boat is wrecked soon comes filled with a powerful shame. / Ken: Some take holy orders, others pursue a remote life in the Scottish highlands. Shepherding, perhaps. / Ryan: I guess most just get between the wall and the sofa and let the end come. / Ken: A fanciful notion... but it has merit.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080702
Scary Go Round 20080703 [[On the bridge of a ship. The captain examines a moth in a jar. / <> / Captain: The Little Admiral indicates a safe heading of 41 degrees. Right through these rock-shaped waves. / Helmsman: Aye sir! / <> / [[The sailors go flying into the water.]] / Captain: All souls are doomed! / Helmsman: Man overboard! / Sailor: My leg! The bone's sticking out! / [[The smugglers grab up crates.]] / Ryan: What's in these? / Smuggler: Patio furniture, lad! Our bellies will be full tonight. / Ryan: Did those fellows really have to perish, Ken? / Ken: The sea is a cruel mistress, Ryan. A freezing cold cruel mistress made almost entirely of water.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080703
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[The captain watches a moth in a jar, adorned with an easy chair]] / Captain: The little admiral indicates a safe heading of 41 degrees. Right through those rock-shaped waves. / First Mate: Aye sir! / [[The ship crashes into the rocks, and the crew comes flying off out of it into the sea]] <> / Captain: All souls are doomed! / First Mate: Man overboard! / Sailor: My leg! The bone's sticking out! / Ryan: What's in these? / Postman 1: Patio furniture, lad! Our bellies will be full tonight. / Ryan: Did those fellows really have to perish, Ken? / Ken: The sea is a cruel mistress, Ryan. A freezing cold cruel mistress made almost entirely of water.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080703
Scary Go Round 20080704 [[The smugglers make off with their loot in postal vans.]] / Ryan: I guess we're rich now, huh? / <> / Ken: All men must pay the piper, and we must pay Blackbeard! / Ryan: Woah, what, Blackbeard? / Ken: Blackbeard is the Ghost Who Walks! 8ft tall! Teeth like needles! Be quiet lest he steal your breath! / [[In a smoky garage, one of the smugglers approaches a floating Blackbeard.]] / Blackbeard: What have ye for me? / Smuggler: P-p-p-patio furniture. / Blackbeard: Yes, that's nice. / [[The rest of the smugglers are being unobtrusive behind the crates.]] / Ryan: He's not really 8ft tall, some of that's just floatin' space. / Ken: Shut up, lad! / Blackbeard: Tell him to pipe down! / <> / Ryan: At least five inches is tricorn hat / Blackbeard: I'M A GHOST AND I DON'T LIKE HIS CHEEK!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080704
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: I guess we're rich now, huh? / Ken: All men must pay the piper, and we must pay Blackbeard! / Ryan: Woah, what, Blackbeard? / Ken: Blackbeard is teh ghost who walks! 8ft tall! Teeth like needles! Be quiet lest he steal your breath! / Blackbeard: What have ye for me? / Postman 1: P-p-p-patio furniture. / Blackbeard: Yes, that's nice. / Ryan: He's not really 8ft tall, some of that's just floatin' space. / Ken: Shut up, lad! / Blackbeard: Tell him to pipe down! / Ryan: At lease five inches is tricorn hat / Blackbeard: I'm a ghost and I don't like his cheek! <>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080704
 
Scary Go Round 20080707 Ken: Boy, are you a fool, or drunk? No one talks back to Blackbeard. / [[They are drinking Ararat milk in an empty pub.]] / Ryan: Some men have the Bible. Others have the Koran. Let me put it simply. I have the oeuvre of Ray Parker Jr. To wit, sirs, I ain't afraid of no ghost. / [[Outside.]] / Ken: If you make such a move again, we will throw you in the sea. / Ryan: Well yes I am quite afraid of becomin' a ghost. / [[Ryan comes home and wakes up Amy on the couch.]] / Ryan: Ame, don't make me go smugglin' again. The boss is a short floatin' ghost who don't like my lip. / [[He picks her up.]] / Ryan: Let's call the police, come on. / Amy: Ryan, the police are busy investigating other, more high profile spectral crimelords.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080707
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ken: Boy, are you a fool, or drunk? No one talks back to Blackbeard. / Ryan: Some men have the Bible. Others have the Koran. Let me put it simply. I have the oeuvre of Mr Ray Parker Jr. To wit, sirs, I ain't afraid of no ghost. / Ken: If you make such a move again, we will throw you in the sea. / Ryan: Well yes I am quite afraid of becomin' a ghost. / Ryan: Ame, don't make me go smugglin' again. The boss is a short floatin' ghost who don't like my lip. / Ryan: Let's call the police, come on. / Amy: Ryan, the police are busy investigating other, more high profile spectral crimelords.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080707
Scary Go Round 20080708 Amy: Do you know who'll know about Blackbeard? Ernest Cromerty! He knows everything about the sea! / [[Des is on the floor and working out a jigsaw puzzle.]] / Des: No way! Every time he looks at me, he sees something that could only be improved by tempura. / [[In the car. Amy is driving, Ryan is dozing, and Des is cowering in the back seat.]] / <> / Amy: Look, I promise, the second he turns on the deep fat fryer, we're out of there. / Ryan: Hey, Moon! Is Ernest around? / Moon: Ernest passed a month ago, Ryan. / Moon: He became obsessed with catching his enemy of 50 years... Blinky the Narwhal. / Amy: Des, would you like us to leave you alone with your grief?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080708
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: Do you know who'll know about Blackbeard? Ernest Cromerty! He knows everything about the sea! / Des: No way! Everytime he looks at me, he sees something that could only be improved by tempura. / [[Amy revs the car]] <> / Amy: Look, I promise, the second he turns on the deep fat fryer, we're out of there. / Ryan: Hey, Moon! Is Ernest around? / Moon: Ernest passed a month ago, Ryan. / Moon: He became obsessed with catching his enemy of 50 years... Blinky the narwhal. / Amy: Des, would you like us to leave you alone with your grief?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080708
Scary Go Round 20080709 Moon: Blinky the Narwhal was Ernest's childhood pet. They'd do everything together. / [[Ernest with a lollipop and in fancy dress, strolling through the circus with Blinky, passing a Freak Show.]] / Moon: But eventually Blinky grew too big for the Cromerty home and was kept outside. / [[Ernest's father kicks Blinky into the yard. Ernest, in a schoolboy outfit complete with striped hat, looks on in horror, holding a teapot.]] / <> / Moon: With each cold night, his resentment grew... / [[Blinky in a doghouse outside, chewing at his rope. Ernest looks out his window at Blinky forlornly.]] / <> / Moon: ...and Blinky ran away. / [[His rope severed, Blinky flops in the direction of the open gate.]] / <> / Moon: Now a fire burned in his blubbery breast. Love had turned to hate... Twisted inside, Blinky thwarted Ernest's schemes his whole life. / Amy: Wow, does she ever like talking... / Des: Hush Amy! If she's talking, she's not trying to sneak up on me with an endoscope.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080709
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Blinky and young Ernest are at a carnival, and have visited a freak show]] / Moon: Blinky the narwhal was Ernest's childhood pet. They'd do everything together. / [[Blinky has broken a teapot; Ernest's father kicks him out of the house, literally]] <> / Moon: But eventually Blinky grew too big for the Cromerty home and was kept outside. / [[Blinky gnaws on his tether]] <> / Moon: With each cold night, his resentment grew... / [[He bounces out the front gate]] <> / Moon: ...and Blinky ran away. / Moon: Now a fire burned in his blubbery breast. Love had turned to hate... Twisted inside, Blinky thwarted Ernest's schemes his whole life. / Amy: Wow, does she ever like talking... / Des: Hush Amy! If she's talking, she's not trying to sneak up on me with an endoscope.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080709
Scary Go Round 20080710 [[Ryan speaks with Moon, who is in a 60's-style globular chair.]] / Ryan: Tell us more about Ernest's battle with the beast. / Moon: Well, it started soon after Blinky ran away. / Moon: Blinky cost Ernest his place at the Naval Academy / [[Blinky is in a wig, lipstick, and fake fishnetted human legs, in Ernest's bed.]] / Naval officer: What is the meaning of this? / Moon: He cost him his marriage / [[Blinky shows up to Ernest's wedding with a wig, glasses, a dress, and two swaddled narwhal babies with beards like Ernest's.]] / Parson: What is the meaning of this? / Moon: In later years he waged a campaign of death by a thousand tiny cuts / [[In a tuxedo, blinky accepts the "Telemarketer of the Year 1991" award. Other roles are shown behind: "Jive Bunny", "Do the Bartman", "Agado", and "Crazy Frog".]] / Moon (voiceover): But it was on a routine research trip that Cromerty finally snapped. / Moon: Hey, is that critter moonin' us? / [[Enraged, Ernest bursts out of his shirt and raises his arms.]] / Ernest: INFAMY! NO MORE!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080710
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Tell us more about Ernest's battel with the beast. / Moon: Well, it started soon after Blinky ran away. / [[Blinky is dressed as a prostitute, posing in Ernest's dormroom]] / Moon: Blinky cost Ernest his place at the Naval Academy / Dean: What is the meaning of this? / [[Blinky is dressed as an woman, appearing at Ernest's wedding ceremony carrying two baby narwhals with beards]] / Moon: He cost him his marriage / Pastor: What is the meaning of this? / [[Blinky wins the 1991 Telemarketer of the Year award / Moon: In later years he waged a campaign of death by a thousand tiny cuts / Moon: But it was on a routine research trip that Cromerty finally snapped. / [[Moon and Ernest are on a boat]] / Moon: Hey, is that critter moonin' us? / Ernest: Infamy! No more!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080710
Scary Go Round 20080711 Moon: Next thing I know, he dives in after Blinky! / Moon: They were fighting, it was awesome! But a narwhal's blubber repels all but the strongest blows / <> / Moon: So, mad with rage, Ernest tries to throttle the thing. but he can't get his hands round its big thick neck! / <> / Moon: He got so mad that he popped an embolism! / <> / Moon: I had to fish the old skunk out with a stick. / Moon: He left me everything. The boathouse, his boats... 40 years of saucy Polaroids. / Ryan: And Blinky... is still out there. / Moon: Yeah, maybe. / [[She opens up a narwhal skull with a bullet hole, the skull sawed off so it serves as a bucket full of candy.]] / Moon: Werther's Original?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080711
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Moon: Next thing I know, he dives in after Blinky! / Moon: They were fightin', it was awesome! But a narwhal's blubber repels all but the strongest blows. / Moon: So, mad with rage, Ernest tries to throttle the thing. But he can't get his hands round it's big thick neck! / Moon: He got so mad that he popped an ebolism! / Moon: I had to fish the old skunk out with a stick. / Moon: He left me everything. The boathouse, his boats... ... 40 years of saucy polaroids. / [[Moon offers Ryan a candy jar made out of a narwhal skull]] / Ryan: And Blinky... is still out there. / Moon: Yeah, maybe. Werther's Original?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080711
 
Scary Go Round 20080714 Amy: That was absolutely fascinating. But what do you know about Blackbeard's ghost? / Moon: Oh that! Incredibly dangerous. / Moon: Gives off a sort of poison gas. If you look too hard at him, your soul goes straight to Hell. / Ryan: Is he a real ghost, or more like a magic pixie? / Moon: Arguably the realest ghost of all time! / [[Ryan's shirt: "Jam Wars"]] / Ryan: Does he have any weaknesses that might defeat him? / Moon: Not really. Though, well... / Moon: It's said that after killing a few dozen people, he may have to have a sit down for ten minutes. / [[Illustration of Blackbeard sipping a cup of tea made from a skull.]] / Amy: That's something to think about, I suppose.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080714
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Amy: That was absolutely fascinating. But what do you know about Blackbeard's ghost? / Moon: Oh that! Incredibly dangerous. / Moon: Gives off a sort of poisonous gas. If you look too hard at him, your soul goes straight to hell. / Ryan: Is he a real ghost, or more like a magic pixie? / Moon: Arguably the realest ghost of all time! / Ryan: Does he have any weaknesses that might defeat him? / Moon: Not really. Though, well... / Moon: ...It's said that after killing a few dozen people, he has to have a sit down for ten minutes. / Amy: That's something to think about, I suppose.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080714
Scary Go Round 20080715 [[Ryan, Des, and Amy leave Ernest's - now Moon's - house. Ray waves; Moon smiles out the window.]] / Ryan: I like old Moon. She has a quality. / Amy: Yes I just bet you do! If she worked those eyelashes any harder, her eyelids would fall off. Then where would she be? / [[She rings both eyes with thumb and forefinger. Des laughs.]] / Amy: Hideously gross. That's a quality too. / Ryan: Ame, are you jealous of her Latina looks and homespun charm? / Amy: I'm secure! Very secure! / [[She unlocks the car remotely.]] / <> / [[In the car.]] / Amy: I am a serene lake of sexy. Jetskiing allowed at pre-arranged times. She's a runaway tanker of sex heading for your house, Ryan. / Amy: Your house will be crushed. / Ryan: I think I understand / Amy: You're going to lose a leg.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080715
Scary Go Round 20080715 [[Ryan, Des, and Amy leave Moon's house/boat. Ryan waves; Moon grins.]] / Ryan: I like old Moon. She has a quality. / Amy: Yes I just bet you do! If she worked those eyelashes any harder, her eyelids would fall off. Then where would she be? / [[Amy bug her eyes out and frames her fingers around them. Des guffaws.]] / Amy: Hideously gross. That's a quality too. / Ryan: Ame, are you jealous of her Latina looks and homespun charm? / Amy: I'm secure! Very secure! / <> / [[Entering Amy's convertible.]] / Amy: I am a serene lake of sexy. Jetskiing allowed at pre-arranged times. She's a runaway tanker of sex heading for your house, Ryan. / Amy: Your house will be crushed. / Ryan: I think I understand / Amy: You're going to lose a leg.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080715
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: What are we doin' here? / Amy: Put this on. Did you forget about your lovely lunch with Melanie and her family? / Amy: Oh yes you did because you were too busy rubbing your thighs at the appallingly named Gibbous moon. Run along! / Ryan: Melanie's family are classy folks. This house is huge! Gots to not shame myself or get cast out of society. And... dang, no gift! / Melanie: Ryan! / Ryan: Melanie, I brought you the gift of a poem. Thanks for invitin' me to dinner / An honest meal for this poor sinner. / Your home is darlin', but, forsooth / I won't steal the lead off your roof.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080716
Scary Go Round 20080716 [[Amy is putting a tie on Ryan.]] / Ryan: What are we doin' here? / Amy: Put this on. Did you forget about your lovely lunch with Melanie and her family? / Amy: Oh yes you did because you were too busy rubbing your thighs at the appallingly named Gibbous Moon. Run along! / <> / Ryan: Melanie's family are classy folks. This house is huge! Gots to no shame myself or get cast out of society. And... dang, no gift! / Melanie: Ryan! / Ryan: Melanie, I brought you the gift of a poem. Thanks for invitin' me to dinner / An honest meal for this poor sinner. Your home is darlin' but, forsooth / I won't steal the lead off your roof.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080716
Scary Go Round 20080717 [[Melanie Soap's huge father has an arm around Ryan, frowning. Ryan has a huge smile pasted over the terror on his face.]] / Mr Soap: Melanie is a very special girl, Ryan. You have my eternal gratitude for saving her. Tell me, have you ever bagged a grouse? / [[He pours some wine from a cubish bottle.]] / Mr Soap: Some say it's hard to kill a living thing. And it is. So I play a little game. / Ryan: A game, right, right. / [[There are hunting trophies all around the room. Mr Soap's eye twitches.]] / <> / Mr Soap: I imagine the bird doing terrible things, that it is a terrible person. I imagine that it's laid its dirty fingers on my precious daughter and then thrown her away like a used tissue. / [[Mr Soap has taken down a double-barreled gun and is peering aggressively at Ryan.]] / Ryan: Well Mister Soap, I sense you're a man of intense feelin's. Just as I am, mainly about the bits of the Bible that say don't do it until your weddin' night. / [[He clasps his hands beseechingly. Mr Soap turns his back but continues to look at Ryan sidewise, suspiciously.]] / Ryan: And then only if you want to make a baby. To help with your prayin'.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080717
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mr Soap: Melanie is a very special girl, Ryan. You have my eternal gratitude for saving her. Tell me, have you ever bagged a grouse? / Mr Soap: Some say it's hard to kill a living thing, and it is. So I play a little game. / Ryan: A game, right, right. / Mr Soap: I imagine the bird doing terrible things, that it is a terrible person. I imagine that it's laid its dirty fingers on my precious daughter and then thrown her away like used tissue. / Ryan: Well Mister Soap, I sense you're a man of intense feelin's. Just as I am, mainly about hte bits of the Bible that say don't do it until your weddin' night. / Ryan: And then only if you want to make a baby. To help with your prayin'.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080717
Scary Go Round 20080718 [[Ryan, Melanie, and Mr Soap at the dinner table.]] / Mr Soap: ...Smuggling is the bane of Sutton-on-Sea. Why, just last night a boatload of patio furniture was wrecked by those dogs. / Ryan: That is somethin' I don't know a lot about in general. / Mr Soap: Across the borough and beyond, hard-working families will be sitting out on upturned tea chests this summer. / Melanie: Calm down, Papa! / Mr Soap: I am a magistrate! Law and order is my business! I can't calm down! Tell me son, what would you do with these animals? / <> / Ryan: No punishment is too draconian, Mr Jessup. A good thrashin' with the town eel, maybe. Then a written letter of apology to the eel.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080718
Scary Go Round 20080718 [[At dinner. Ryan is extremely agitated.]] / Mr Soap: ...Smuggling is the bane of Sutton-on-Sea. Why, just last night a boatload of patio furniture was wrecked by those dogs. / Ryan: That is somethin' I don't know a lot about in general. / Mr Soap: Across the borough and beyond, hard-working families will be sitting out on upturned tea chests this summer. It sickens me. / Melanie: Calm down, Papa! / [[Mr Soap pounds the table.]] / <> / Mr Soap: I am a magistrate! Law and order is my business! I can't calm down! Tell me son, what would you do with these animals? / Ryan: No punishment is too draconian, Mr Soap, sir. A good thrashin' with the town eel, maybe. Then a written letter of apology to the eel.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080718
 
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison <> / Des: What is this terrible music? / Ryan: It's Jimmy Buffet. I like it. His situation is the exact opposite of mine. / Ryan: He rides on boats and is happy. I wreck ships and I'm completely depressed about life. / Ryan: He's been playin' the same 8 songs since 1978 to teh same people but nothin' can dim his spirits. On account of bein' drunk, and stoned, and rich. / Ryan: His career is guided by a cheeseburger from paradise... ...and a transdimensional margarita. / Jimmy Buffet: Why down't we get drunk and... what? / Des: Ryan, when did you last sleep? / Ryan: Jimmy says it's 5 o'clock somewhere. Which means bedtime is always 6 hours away. / <<...it's my own damn fault>>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080721
Scary Go Round 20080722 [[At the post office, Ryan bangs his head against his locker.]] / Smuggler: Ryan, are you ready for a little overtime tonight? / Ryan: If you mean am I ready for more smuggling, then yes. You know you are looking at a natural lover of crimes. / Smuggler (voiceover): Good, good! Tonight a ship makes port bearing the Sabled Dragonfly of old Bangalore. Its eyes are jewels, its body is a jewel, its wings are jewels, and its family jewels... / Ryan: They're jewels, right? Jewel junk. Jewels. / Smuggler: Ha! No! They're made of wood. / Ryan: Because junk made from jewels is a waste of jewels? / Smuggler: Because there were literally no jewels left in Bangalore to construct its anatomical sundries.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080722
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan, are you ready for a little overtime tonight? / Ryan: If you mean am I ready for more smuggling, then yes. You know you are looking at a natural lover of crimes. / Postman 1: Good, good! Tonight a ship makes port bearing the Sabled Dragonfly of Old Bangalore. Its eyes are jewels, its body is a jewel, its wings are jewels, and its family jewels... / Ryan: They're jewels, right? Jewel junk. Jewels. / Postman 1: Ha! No! They're made of wood. / Ryan: Because junk made from jewels is a waste of jewels? / Postman 1: Because there were literally no jewels left in Bangalore to construct its anatomical sundries.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080722
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Melanie holds a sticker reading: Look! Listen Vibrate SMILE]] / Melanie: Ryan left his dentist sticker behind! / Melanie: I should take it to him! He must be wondering where it is! / Melanie: Papa, I'm going to... oh! What are you doing? / Mr Soap: Preparing for some night fishing with the fellows, darling. Couple of big pike spotted in the East Lake. / Melanie: You aren't going out after smugglers again, are you? / Mr Soap: Of course not, my lamb. Doctor Picquet and I had a long talk. / Mr Soap: Smugglers aren't real. They're just a manifestation of my fear of the sea. Combined with my fears of theft, secret caves, men with scars, and rum.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080723
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Don't you worry about bein' in league with a demon priate straight out of hell? / Ken: I've thought about it many a dark mornign on my postal route. / Ken: Most men are flattened by mediocrity and the modern mill-owners who enslave us. / Ken: Out amongst the surf and the spume, we simply take back what is ours. / Ryan: Well, technically, it ain't ours. It's someone else's. They have documentation to prove it. / Ken: Dignity, Ryan! A man's right to seize his own destiny! / Ryan: I just don't got faith in a spectre's management. / Ryan: You think you're scared of Blackbeard? Imagine how he feels about Quicken '08.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080724
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Blackbeard: Men! Gather on the shore! / Postman 1: Quiet, all you! It's Blackbeard! / Blackbeard: Your target is 5 leagues out. Do not fail me, or by- / Ryan: Hey Blackbeard, I got a question! / Ryan: How are you plannin' on protectin' your business from the economic downturn? / Ryan: Have you thoguht about investin' in the weakened bank-sector? What about traditionally resiliant areas, like utilities? / Postman 2: Let me knock him out before he damns us all. / Blackbeard: Come with me, little man / Ryan: Someone's gotta ask the difficult questions! Though I guess maybe ask from some sort of protective bunker.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080725
Scary Go Round 20080725 Blackbeard: Men! Gather on the shore! / Pirate: Quiet, all you! It's Blackbeard! / Blackbeard: Your target is 5 leagues out. Do not fail me, or by-- / Ryan: Hey Blackbeard, I got a question! / Ryan: How are you plannin' on protectin' your business from the economic downturn? / [[The pirates are all aghast.]] / Ryan: Have you thought about investin' in the weakened banking sector? What about traditionally resilient areas, like utilities? / Pirate: Let me knock him out before he damns us all. / [[Blackbeard grabs Ryan up and bears him over the waves.]] / Blackbeard: Come with me, little man / Ryan: Someone's gotta ask the difficult questions! Though I guess maybe ask from some sort of protective bunker.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080725
 
Scary Go Round 20080728 [[Melanie rings repeatedly at Ryan's (Amy's?) door.]] / <> / Melanie: Awww, no one's in! / Melanie: Postmen work funny hours, I should go see him at the depot! I think he'd like that! / Clerk: E's not schuduled in, love. Probably in the pub with the others, I saw them head out together. / Melanie: Where do they go? / Clerk: The Why Not? in Sutton-on-Sea. Why Not? Because it's a dive. / [[Clerk winks.]] / [[Melanie peers through the dark pub windows.]] / Melanie: There's no one in. I suppose Ryan must be somewhere else. Drinking, laughing, being brave and handsome. Sigh. / Melanie: Wait, are those post vans parked by the cliff edge? It's mass suicide, or a beach barbecue!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080728
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Melanie rings Ryan's doorbell]] / Melanie: Awww, no one's in! / Melanie: Postmen work funny hours, I should go see him at the depot! I think he'd like that! / Postal Clerk: E's not scheduled in, love. Probably in the pub with the others, I saw them head out together. / Melanie: Where do they go? / Postal Clerk: The Why Not? in Sutton-on-Sea. Why Not? Because it's a dive. / Melanie: There's no one in. I suppose Ryan must be somewhere else. Drinking, laughing, being brave and handsome. Sigh. / Melanie: Wait, are those post vans parked by the cliff edge? It's mass suicide, or a beach barbecue!
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080728
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison [[Amy steps on Desmond back to lift herself over a wall marked "Strictly NO ENTRY"]] / Desmond: Red Rover, Red Rover, let Amy go over / [[Desmond lets himself down from the fence, now on the other side of the wall]] / Amy: This is it, Blackbeard's lockup! Crowbar it open, Des. / Desmond: Why me? / Amy: {{grins}} You're a clean skin, Desmond, your finger prints aren't on file. You don't have finger prints. / [[The door opens with a {{CRACK}}]] / Desmond: My many disabilities, syndromes and palsies are just an opportunity to you, aren't they? / [[Now inside a storage locker, examining various pieces of equipment]] / Amy: {{thoughtful}} Yes. Now come on, we need to find evidence of what the smugglers are up to. / Desmond: Look! Ropes, pulleys, smoke machine... / Amy: Make-up...hair straighteners... / Desmond: What is this? The militant wing of Cirque du Soleil?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080729
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Des: Red rover, red rover, let Amy go over / Amy: This is it, Blackbeard's lockup! Crowbar it open, Des. / Des: Why me? / Amy: You're a clean skin, Desmond, your finger prints aren't on file. You don't hve fingerprints. / Des: My many disabilities, syndromes and palsies are just an opportunity to you, aren't they? / Amy: Yes. Now come on, we need to find evidents of what the smugglers are up to. / Des: Look! Ropes, pulleys, smoke machine... / Des: Make-up...hair straighteners... / Amy: What is this? The militant wing of Cirque du Soleil?
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080729
Scary Go Round 20080730 [[Blackbeard drags Ryan through the sea.]] / Ryan: Dang it Blackbeard, you can't drag someone into Hell for havin' useful ideas! Even a crazy old sea ghost has to know that! / <> / [[The come up to some rocks.]] / Blackbeard: Ryan, I sense you are... different from the others. / Ryan: No no, I am just a scurvy dog like the rest... stealin' is my religion. / Ryan: Aged 7 I sank a pedalo but it was a hollow feelin' / [[Young Ryan with a red eye, a lollipop in one hand, a screwdriver in the other. A swan pedalo sinks in the foreground.]] / Ryan: Aged 9 I sank a dinghy and robbed the oars, suddenly it all made sense / <> / [[Ryan triumphantly wielding two oars. Riley picking her nose.]] / Ryan: I'm a smuggler, it's genetic, and-- / [[Hearts all around, Blackbeard clutches Ryan's bum with both hand and hook and passionately kisses him.]] / <>
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080730
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Dang it Blackbeard, you can't drag someone into hell for havin' useful ideas! Even a crazy old sea ghost has to know that! / Blackbeard: Ryan, I sense you are... different from teh others. / Ryan: No no, I am just a scurvy dog like the rest... ...stealin' is my religion. / Ryan: Aged 7 I sank a pedalo but it was a hollow feelin' / Ryan: Aged 9 I sank a dinghy and robbed the oars, suddenly it all made sense / Ryan: I'm a smuggler, it's genetic, and-- / [[Blackbeard leaps on Ryan, kisses him and grabs his bum]]
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080730
Scary Go Round 20080731 [[Ryan pulls away from Blackbeard's kiss.]] / Ryan: Hey! Hey! That ain't appropriate! / Blackbeard: But it was nice. / Ryan: Listen man, you smell pretty for a ghost, I'll give you that. I expected rottin' flesh or sulphur, but you got a girlish scent. / Blackbeard: Tee hee! / <> / Ryan: But I ain't wired up for man love! Or ghost love! Not that there's anythin' wrong with that! / Blackbeard: Shhh / [[Blackbeard puts his hook over Ryan's lips.]] / Ryan: I just can't picture kissin a big wet salty beard goodnight. Or takin' you home to Mother. / Blackbeard: I... see. / [[Blackbeard turns away.]] / [[Blackbeard turns around again, sans beard. It's Gibbous Moon!]] / Moon: How about now? / Ryan: This better not be a ghost trick. I got a trustin' nature and a weakness for boo-boo eyes.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080731
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Ryan: Hey! Hey! That ain't appropriate! / Blackbeard: But it was nice. / Ryan: Listen man, you smell pretty for a ghost, I'll give you that. I expected rottin' flesh or sulphur, but you got a girlish scent. / Blackbeard: Tee hee! / Ryan: But I ain't wired up for man love! Or ghost love! Not that there's anythin' wrong with that! / Blackbeard: Shhh / Ryan: I just can't picture kissin a big wet salty beard goodnight. Or takin' you home to mother. / Blackbeard: I... see. / [[Blackbeard removes his beard and reveals himself as Moon]] / Moon: How about now? / Ryan: This better not be a ghost trick. I got a trustin' nature and a weakness for boo-boo eyes.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080731
Scary Go Round 20080801 [[Mr Soap is driving a van with big painted letters "UNMARKED VAN HIRE" and the picture of a ninja.]] / Mr Soap: The cove is alive with smugglers tonight. The police do nothing so we, concerned citizens, must act! / Mr Soap: Vigilante action is a last resort, but one we have to make. Are you ready... / [[He bangs on the side of the van.]] / <> / Mr Soap: BUTCHER! / [[Butcher, wielding two cleavers.]] / Butcher: Prepare to "meat" your maker, evil-doers / Mr Soap: BAKER! / Baker: One wrong move, they'll be "brown bread". / [[Candlestick Maker, wielding two handles and with a blazing candlestick-shaped helmet.]] / Candlestick Maker: CANDLESTICK MAKER! FLAME ON! / [[Mr Soap stands slack-jawed.]] / Baker: Hardcore.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080801
Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison Mr Soap: The cove is alive with smugglers tonight. The police do nothing so we, concerned citizens, must act! / Mr Soap: Vigilante action is a last resort, but one we have to make. Are you ready... / Mr Soap: Butcher! / Butcher: Prepare to "meat" your makers, evil-doers / Mr Soap: Baker! / Baker: One wrong move, they'll be "brown bread". / Mr Soap: Candlestick Maker! Flame on! / Baker: Hardcore.
http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080801
 

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