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| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tessa is in a bar with various odd creatures, the Krakkagar among them. The bartender is an anthropomorphic goatlike creature]]
/ Tessa: Give me a bottle of your strongest booze, I don't care what kind of booze it is so long as it erases this world and everything in it. / Tessa: Do I have to draw you a picture?
/ Bartender: [symbol of some sort of government building] / [[Tessa begins drawing. The creatures crowd around]] / [[Tessa shows a picture of her vomiting from drunkeness. The creatures are ecstatic]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030829 |
| Scary Go Round 20030829 | [[Tessa is in a bar with various odd creatures, the Krakkagar among them. The bartender is an anthropomorphic goatlike creature]] / Tessa: Give me a bottle of your strongest booze, I don't care what kind of booze it is so long as it erases this world and everything in it.
/ Tessa: Do I have to draw you a picture? / Bartender: [symbol of some sort of government building]
/ [[Tessa begins drawing. The creatures crowd around]]
/ [[Tessa shows a picture of her vomiting from drunkenness. The creatures are ecstatic]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030829 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mayor: Shelley, I just want you to know that I think what you're doing for that boy in jail is really swell. / Shelley: Thank you Mr. Mayor!
/ Mayor: But now I don't want you to get too attached to him. There is the chance he is a vile mass murderer. / Mayor: And a young thing like you should be out kicking up her heels with a babycham and a nice fella.
/ Shelley: Well maybe... / Shelley: Or a very bad young fella! I think maybe he collects knives and has a face like sandpaper... His name would be "Gripper" and he'd live with his mother. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030902 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Mayor Mayor: Shelley, I just want you to know that I think what you're doing for that boy in jail is really swell. / Shelly: Thank you Mr Mayor!
/ Mayor Mayor: But now I don't want you to get too attached to him. There is the chance he is a vile mass murderer. / Mayor Mayor: And a young thing like you should be out kicking up her heels with a babycham and a nice fella.
/ Shelley: Well maybe... / Shelley: Or a very bad young fella! I think maybe he collects knives and has a face like sandpaper... His name would be "Gripper" and he'd live with his *mother*. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030902 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Don't just hate living with your parents, Rachel? I did. No space to breathe. No room for self-expression.
/ Rachel: Well our house has wings... you know... it can be annoying when someone else is using the helicopter, I guess... / Amy: Are you rich, Rachel?
/ Rachel: Rich is... relative, Amy. I'm heiress to the Dukakis-Monteforte biscuit dynasty. Is that rich? / Amy: Yes. Why do you work in a pub? You can't need the money.
/ Rachel: I suggest you burn down a couple of outhouses one high-spirited summer and find out. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030903 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Don't just hate living with your parents, Rachel? I did. No space to breathe. No room for *self expression*.
/ Rachel: Well our house has wings... you know... it can be annoying when someone else is using the helicopter, I guess... / Amy: Are you *rich*, Rachel?
/ Rachel: Rich is... relative, Amy. I'm heiress to the Dukakis-Monteforte biscuit dynasty. Is that rich? / Amy: Yes. Why do you work in a pub? You can't need the money
/ Rachel: I suggest *you* burn down a couple of outhouses one high-spirited summer and find out. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030903 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Rachel is outside with a bunch of brown, spiky, kiwi-like fruit]]
/ Rachel: Hey Amy, I've found a piece of fruit shaped almost exactly like Moses! Isn't that a thing? / Amy: Rachel, you must be drunk or stupid because that looks nothing like blinking Moses. Moses was taller and-- / [[Rachel hits Amy over the head with the melodica]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030904 |
| Scary Go Round by John Allison | [[Rachel is with Amy in an alternate dimension pub]]
/ Rachel: Hey Amy, I've found a piece of fruit shaped almost exactly like Moses! Isn't that a thing? / Amy: Rachel, you must be drunk or stupid because that looks nothing like blinking Moses. Moses was taller and- / [[Rachel hits Amy from behind with some big black thing with an antenna and a < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030904 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Amy's tired! She needs to go home! No, wait... She needs a rest cure... in the forest! / Rachel: Now Amy, if I know Tessa like I think I do, she'll have spotted my ruse and be getting things ready in the forest to get us home. / Tessa: Y'r a very shhiny bettle, Krakkagar... And a very shexy beetle... beetle...
/ Krakkagar: Chik chik chik! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030905 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Amy's tired! She needs to go home! No, wait.. she needs a rest cure... in the forest! / Rachel: Now, Amy, if I know Tessa like I think I do, she'll have spotted my ruse and be getting things ready in the forest to get us home. / Tessa: Y'r a very shhiny beetle, Krakkagar... and a very shexy beetle... beetle...
/ Krakkagar: Chik chik chik! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030905 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Thank you, chauffeur! I hope that a handful of grubs is a suitable tip.
/ Chauffeur: < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030909 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Rachel has transported an unconscious Amy back into the forest portal in an alternate dimension]]
/ Rachel: Thank you, chauffeur! I hope that a handful of grubs is a suitable tip.
/ Chaffeur, introspective: [[Icon of a city]] / [[The Chaffeur is on a phone]]
/ Chaffeur: [[Icon of information]] [[Icon of a police car, three times]] / [[An African cyclops thing is on the phone with other things around]]
/ African cyclops thing: [[Icon of a desert island]] [[Icon of a megaphone]]
/ Irish cyclops thing: [[Icon of a highway]] [[Icon of a magnifying glass]]
/ Businessman thing, whispering: [[Icon of a ballot going into a ballot box]]
/ Another businessman thing: [[Icon of a trophy]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030909 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: Rachshel... I can' b'lieve her... runnin' off with Amy... itshh treason ish what it ish and you can be hung for treashon... / Tessa: Well I'm I'm not shtanding for it! I'm not hanging 'round on thish shtupid planet any more I am goin' gnome. / Tessa: Yr my friend aren't you... yesh... you wouldn't leave me all on my own... gentle lovely booze... hrmmmmm... / Tessa: Racshel! When I get home I am goingsh to write a book about... what a... bad friend you are... called "Queen Weasel Witch". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030910 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: Rachshel... I can' b'lieve her... runnin' off with Amy... itshh *treason* ish what it ish and you can be hung for treashon... / Tessa: Well I'm I'm not shtanding for it! I'm not hanging 'round on thish shtupid planet any more I am goin' *gnome*. / Tessa: Yr my friend aren't you... yesh... you wouldn't leave me all on my own... gentle lovely booze... hrmmmmm... / [[Tessa sees a picture of Rachel, like a police alert, on a nearby screen]]
/ Tessa: RACHSEL! When I get home I am goingsh to write a book about... what a... bad friend you are... called "Queen Weasel *Witch*". http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030910 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Tessa, you're drunk as a skunk with a fondness for the good stuff!
/ Tessa: You betrshayed me, Rachshel... Wen't off with Amy... Left me to rot... / Rachel: No! It was a genius plan!
/ Tessa: Lies won't mend my feelingsh you wicked girl... / Rachel: Tessa, your plans are excellent in real world situations, such as how to transport a sofa home from Ikea using only a wheel of cheese and some wool. / Rachel: But you can't truly understand a spoiled brat unless you are one!
/ Tessa: I will trade forgivenessh for more booze. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030911 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Tessa, you're drunk as a skunk with a fondness for the good stuff!
/ Tessa: You betrshayed me, Rachshel... wen't off with Amy... left me to *rot*... / Rachel: No! It was a genius plan!
/ Tessa: Lies won't mend my feelingsh you wicked girl.... / Rachel: Tessa, your plans are excellent in real world situations, such as how to transport a sofa home from Ikea using only a wheel of cheese and some wool. / [[Rachel shows unconscious Amy to Tessa]]
/ Rachel: But you can't truly understand a spoiled brat unless you are one!
/ Tessa: I will trade forgivenessh for more *booze*. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030911 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: Booze!
/ Rachel: Tessa, the hole to get us back into our dimension is up there. We are down here. If you can think of a workable scheme I will give you this warm can of lager shandy. That will slake your thirst for booze. / Tessa: Cowered in a hole. Ugly mouth. Question: Did we miss anything? Did we miss anything?
/ Rachel: I liked you so much better when you were coherent. / Tessa: Catapult! Use bendy treesh as catapult! Now booze!
/ Rachel: Now, you see, there's a girl who's earned her shandy. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030912 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: BOOZE!
/ Rachel: Tessa, the hole to get us back into our dimension is up there. We are down here. If you can think of a workable scheme I will give you this warm can of lager shandy. That will slake your thirst for booze. / [[Tessa draws diagrams in the air]]
/ Tessa: Cowered in a hole, ugly mouth. Question: did we miss anything? *Did we miss anything?*
/ Rachel: I liked you so much better when you were coherent. / Tessa: CATAPULT! Use bendy treesh as catapult! Now BOOZE!
/ Rachel: Now, you see, there's a girl who's *earned* her shandy. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030912 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Tessa: Is that the sound of sirens?
/ Rachel: I don't know... It's kind of indistinguishable from Amy's interminable moaning.
/ Amy: Rachel, if you don't let me go, I'll... I'll... / Rachel: Amy, I like you. You've got a can-do attitude and you wear some wicked clothes. But this is a situation you cannot get out of.
/ Amy: Shut your face. / Rachel: Tessa's building a catapult, we're going home. We will have sausages for tea.
/ Amy: I want four sausages!
/ Rachel: You will have three. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030915 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tessa has built a catapult; Amy is tied up with a vine with an eye]]
/ Tessa: Is that the sound of sirens?
/ Rachel: I don't know... it's kind of indistinguishable from Amy's interminable moaning
/ Amy: Rachel, if you don't let me go, I'll... I'll... / Rachel: Amy, I like you. You've got a can-do attitude and you wear some wicked clothes. But this is a situation you cannot get out of.
/ Amy: Shut your face. / Rachel: Tessa's building a catapult, we're going home. We will have sausages for tea.
/ Amy: I want four sausages!
/ Rachel: You will have three. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030915 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Tessa, you had better get your skates on building that contraption, because it looks like the local police are here. / Tessa: Why are we always in trouble with the police, Rachel? Tell me why.
/ Rachel: Mostly because we are badass outlaws. Cops are drawn to our sexy sins. / Rachel: The sweet pheremonal zephyr of girls gone bad...
/ Amy: You two are going to make such great spinsters. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030916 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Rachel, looking over an embankment, sees aliens walking by]]
/ Rachel: Tessa, you had better get your skates on building that contraption, because it looks like the local police are here. / Tessa: Why are we always in trouble with the police, Rachel? Tell me why.
/ Rachel: Mostly because we are badass outlaws. Cops are drawn to our sexy sins. / Rachel: The sweet pheremonal zephyr of girls gone *bad*...
/ Amy: You two are going to make such great spinsters. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030916 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[The girls are sitting in the catapult]]
/ Tessa: Now we only get one chance at this... if we don't get through the dimensional hole, we'll fall into the sea and probably be eaten.
/ Rachel: Amy, it may help to comfort yourself by picturing someone avuncular... like Father Christmas or Joe Stalin. / [[The catapult releases]]
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030917 |
| Scary Go Round | [[Rachel, Amy, and Tessa are on a makeshift catapult about to hurl themselves hopefully back to their own dimension]]
/ Tessa: Now we only get one chance at this... if we don't get through the dimensional hole, we'll fall into the sea and probably be eaten.
/ Rachel: Amy, it may help to comfort yourself by picturing someone avuncular... like Father Christmas or Joe Stalin. / [[The girls are hurtling through the air with a retro < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030917 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Hahaha! Again, again!
/ Tessa: Notdeadnotdeadnotdeadthankgodnotdead
/ Amy: Well, thank you for returning me to my mediocre life. How are we going to explain what happened to us? Without being thrown into the madhouse? / Rachel: How about this: You joined a cult. We were recruited. Eventually we escaped by making a hot air balloon out of robes. / Rachel: We powered it by making Amy hold a freestyle poetry jam underneath.
/ Tessa: Fortunately when we got to the mesosphere, she fainted. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030918 |
| Scary Go Round 20030918 | Rachel: Hahaha! Again, again!
/ Tessa: Notdeadnotdeadnotdeadthankgodnotdead
/ Amy: Well, thank you for returning me to my mediocre life. How are we going to explain what happened to us? Without being thrown into the madhouse? / Rachel: How about this: You joined a cult. We were recruited. Eventually we escaped by making a hot air balloon out of robes. / Rachel: We powered it by making Amy hold a freestyle poetry jam underneath.
/ Tessa: Fortunately when we got to the mesosphere, she fainted. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030918 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Rachel: Amy must be the single most ungrateful girl in the world. There she is enjoying a nice drink with the people in the world who don't actually find her repellent.
/ Tessa: It's a job well done. We can be proud. / Tessa: Plus Noel managed to shore up the pub, so we have jobs again.
/ Will: And I got out of jail, thanks by the way, for getting me jailed. / Tessa: Prison? What did we decide that was?
/ Rachel: "Summer camp with shivs". Poor baby. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030919 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[PANEL 01: Pub, at the bar. Hugo is talking to Rachel]] / HUGO
/ ...So I say, "There be a time for explosions, but it is not when I am teaching they ABC's!" / RACHEL
/ Hee hee! / [[PANEL 02: Pub, Ryan is playing a Galaga 88 arcade machine, Hugo is ready to take over]] / RYAN
/ Hugo man, where do you get it? I can hardly talk to a lady any more. I lost my powers. / [[PANEL 03: Still at the arcade machine, it is Hugo's turn on the joystick]] / HUGO
/ Powers be inside, friend. Like your kidneys. You cannot lose them. / [[PANEL 04: Away from arcade machine, still with Ryan and Hugo]] / HUGO
/ Well. Except maybe in a grisly accident where part of your head and brain be lost. Ha ha! / [[Ryan looks sad, super-imposed over him is the faint memory of a space hopper accident caused by a cat]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030922 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Hugo: ...So I say, "There be a time for explosions, but it is not when I am teachin' orphans they ABC's!"
/ Rachel: Hee hee! / Ryan: Hugo man, where do you get it? I can hardly talk to a lady any more. I lost my powers. / Hugo: Powers be inside, friend, like your kidneys. You cannot lose them. / Hugo: Well, except maybe in a grisly accident where part of your head and brain be lost. Ha ha! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030922 |
| Scary Go Round 20030923 | Ryan: Hugo, it's nearly winter... I need a lady to be holding me at night. To feel like someone wants you... and save on central heating bills.
/ Hugo: You are like a record with a crack that spins on and on. Many parts of my mind are ceasing to be. Maybe forever, who knows. / Hugo: Go home, dogg. It is somehow possible you will dream the answer to your problems through the intervention of God.
/ Ryan: Really? OK! / Hugo: Little Shelley, tiny lady. Please speak sense to me.
/ Shelley: Hugo, is bare-knuckle boxing a way men show that secretly they love one another? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030923 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: Hugo, it's nearly winter... I need a lady to be holding me at night. To feel like someone wants you... and save on central heating bills.
/ Hugo: You are like a record with a crack that spins on and on. Many parts of my mind are ceasing to be. Maybe forever, who knows. / Hugo: Go home, dogg, it is somehow possible you will dream the answer to your problems through the intervention of God.
/ Ryan: Really? Ok! / Hugo: Little Shelley, tiny lady. Please speak sense to me.
/ Shelley: Hugo, is bare-knuckle boxing a way men show that secretly they LOVE one another? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030923 |
| Scary Go Round 20030924 | Shelley: I think it's very nice of you to be Ryan's friend, Hugo. It is a kind thing to do.
/ Hugo: I have inherited him, yo. It is too much. The long evenings leave him wanting a lady and he never shuts the mouth.
/ Amy: Then we should find him a girl. He's kind of like a car you'd fix up. Or drive until it blows up.
/ [[darts, dartboard, glass, straw]] / Hugo: See, I was thinking initial-style that maybe one of you two could be alone and nude with Ryan for... a short time.
/ Shelley: Ngh! / Shelley: He isn't very... clean.
/ Amy: He told me that he just lets his natural oils clean him, and that they'll kick in any day now.
/ [[jukebox]] http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030924 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: I think it's very nice of you to be Ryan's friend, Hugo. It is a kind thing to do.
/ Hugo: I have inherited him, yo. It is too much. The long evenings leave him wanting a lady and he never shuts the mouth.
/ Amy: Then we should find him a girl. He's kind of like a car you'd fix up. Or drive until it blows up. / Hugo: See, I was thinking INITIAL-STYLE that maybe one of you two could be alone and nude with Ryan for... a short time.
/ Shelley: Ngh! / Shelley: He isn't very... clean.
/ Amy: He told me that he just lets his natural oils clean him, and that they'll kick in any day now. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030924 |
| Scary Go Round 20030925 | Shelley: Is Ryan there?
/ Mrs Birch: Wait here please. / Mrs Birch: Mr Beckwith, there are two ladies here to see you. As I have told you before, lady callers are not permitted! / Amy: Hee hee! "Lady callers are not permitted".
/ Shelley: Shut up! She'll hear us and put us on some kind of old lady hit list. / Mrs Birch: Escort your chattering whores from the porch Mr Beckwith! They are spoiling my enjoyment of my hearing trumpet. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030925 |
| Scary Go Round 20030925 | Shelley: Is Ryan there?
/ Mrs Birch: Wait here please. / Mrs Birch: Mr Beckwith, there are two ladies here to see you. As I have told you before, lady callers are not permitted! / Amy: Hee hee! "Lady callers are not permitted".
/ Shelley: Shut up! She'll hear us and put us on some kind of old lady hit list. / Mrs Birch: Escort your chattering whores from the porch Mr Beckwith! They
/ are spoiling my enjoyment of my hearing trumpet. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030925 |
| Scary Go Round 20030926 | [[playground]]
/ Amy: Go on.
/ Shelley: So Ryan, are there any, um, special ladies on the horizon right now?
/ Ryan: Oh, you know. I'm just playing it fast and loose, keeping my irons in the fire and striking while they're... hot. / Ryan: Aw hell, what am I talkin' about?
/ Amy: Hugo told us you spend your nights crying a lake of tears, pining for the ladies of the world. / Amy: We may not be able to fix up up like a princess, but we can help.
/ Shelley: She might be a princess! But the kind who is hidden in an attic to preserve national morale. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030926 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy: Go on.
/ Shelley: So Ryan, are there any, um, special ladies on the horizon right now?
/ Ryan: Oh, you know. I'm just playing it fast and loose, keeping my irons in the fire and... striking while they're... hot. / Ryan: Aw hell, what am I talkin' about?
/ Amy: Hugo told us you spend your nights crying a lake of tears, pining for the ladies of the world. / Amy: We may not be able ot fix you up with a princess, but we can help.
/ Shelley: She might be a princess! But the kind who is hidden in an attic to preserve national morale http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030926 |
| Scary Go Round 20030929 | [[couch]]
/ Ryan: I don't appreciate all this interferin' in my life. I can find a lady okay, I don't need you two makin' me feel like a fool.
/ Amy: Okay. / Shelley: Ryan, we'll do a control experiment, as used in science, by boffins.
/ Amy: Go into the kitchen and ask Fallon out. She'd make an ideal companion. / < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030929 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan: I don't appreciate all this interferin' in my life. I can find a lady okay, I don't need you two makin' me feel like a fool.
/ Amy: Okay. / Shelley: Ryan, we'll do a control experiment, as used in science, by boffins.
/ Amy: Go into the kitchen and ask Fallon out. She'd make an ideal companion. / Shelley: Interesting play, Ames. 50% brave, 50% retarded.
/ Ryan: Your n-n-name must be Mickey because you're so f-fine...
/ Fallon: Are you lost, sweet pea? Have you lost your mommy? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030929 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Ryan, the best way to find a special lady is to go where ladies are looking for you. It is basic common sense.
/ Ryan: I don't think the personals are the best place... I mean, they could be... freaks...
/ Amy: Hot freaks, big man! HOT FREAKS! / Shelley: What do you think, Amy? "Professional male, 25, seeks nice girl for booze and smiles."
/ Amy: "Professional?" Ah, go with it.
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030930 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Shelley: Ryan, the best way to find a special lady is to go where ladies are looking for you. It is basic common sense.
/ Ryan: I don't think the personalls are the best place... I mean, they could be... freaks...
/ Amy: Hot freaks, big man! Hot freaks! / Shelley: What do you think, Amy? "Professional male, 25, seeks nice girl for booze and smiles."
/ < http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20030930 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan talking on the phone]]
/ Ryan: Shelley! I got an answer to my personal ad! I got all excited and rang her up for a date! And now I don't know what to do! / Shelley: Don't be afraid. Amy and I have been preparing for today. Come over with your date outfit and we'll get you ready.
/ Amy: Ready as the dickens! / [[Amy, Ryan and Shelley in the garden. Shelley holds Ryan's clothes over a fire with tongs and Ryan, downcast, stands in his underwear.]]
/ Shelley:What you have to understand is, this is for your own good.
/ Ryan:Those were good clothes. They been with me a long time. Life's going to be hard now. People don't like a guy who just wears underpants. Guy like that rolls into town, folk start talkin' trash. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031001 |
| Scary Go Round 20031001 | [[Ryan talking on the phone]]
/ Ryan: Shelley! I got an answer to my personal ad! I got all excited and rang her up for a date! And now I don't know what to do! / Shelley: Don't be afraid. Amy and I have been preparing for today. Come over with your date outfit and we'll get you ready.
/ Amy: Ready as the dickens! / [[Amy, Ryan and Shelley in the garden. Shelley holds Ryan's clothes over a fire with tongs and Ryan, downcast, stands in his underwear.]]
/ Shelley:What you have to understand is, this is for your own good.
/ Ryan:Those were good clothes. They been with me a long time. Life's going to be hard now. People don't like a guy who just wears underpants. Guy like that rolls into town, folk start talkin' trash. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031001 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[shelley and amy are standing outside of a bathroom, eating green apples. ryan emerges from the bathroom in a pink robe with wet hair, steam trailing out from behind him.]]
/ Shelley: Look at our precious boy, all nice and clean! I don't know about you, Ames, but I am super proud!
/ Amy: I feel like the mother of a giant pink baby.
/ Ryan: Showers are unnatural. I thought I was going to drown under that thing. Hot, vicious water! / [[Ryan is three quarters out of the panel. Shelley has a hand on his back, and Amy has her head on Shelley's shoulder.]]
/ Shelley: We've laid out an outfit for your date, I think you're going to like it.
/ Amy: Would you go so far as to call it a relaxed classic?
/ Shelley: Why yes! / [[Ryan appears, with forest green pants, a white shirt, red tie, and gray blazer. Shelley stands with her index finger to her mouth and thumb down.]]
/ Shelley: Is it me or is this room suddenly 500% sexier?
/ Ryan: Are you two on the LEAD PAINT DIET? http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031002 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Fallon Young: Are you excited?
/ Ryan Beckwith: I can't believe they got me all dressed up in this ridic'lous monkey suit for a date that will probably be a disaster.
/ Fallon Young: Amy and Shelley mean well. They've tried very hard, so you do your best for them. / Ryan Beckwith: You're right, Fallon. I gots to be grateful. And that's a real human lady in there, a soft heart lookin' to make a connection. / Fallon Young: Right. And if things do go badly, just steer the topic of conversation onto "Best and Worst Ways to Die." "Cut in two by a plough" winds things up nicely! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031003 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Fallon drives Ryan to a blind date in her blue VW Beetle.]]
/ Fallon: Are you excited?
/ Ryan: I can't believe they got me all dressed up in this ridic'lous monkey suit for a date that will probably be a disaster.
/ Fallon: Amy and Shelley mean well. They've tried very hard, so you do your best for them. / Ryan: You're right Fallon. I gots to be grateful, and that's a real human lady in there, a soft heard lookin' to make a connection. / Fallon: Right. And if things do go badly, just steer the topic of conversation onto "best and worst ways to die".
/ Fallon: "Cut in two by a plough" winds things up nicely! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031003 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Well Poppy, it's real nice to meet you. This seems like a pretty decent sort of menu. Meat, fish, everythin'!
/ Poppy: So what do you like to do for fun, Ryan? / Ryan Beckwith: Aw, I like music. I was in a band for a few years so I play my drums and go to gigs and just generally enjoy sounds. What about you? / Poppy: I just love whittling, the feel of the knife on wood...
/ Ryan Beckwith: This evening is going to be tough. Tough like building a flying machine out of string and dreams. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031006 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Poppy: I was president of the North Lincolnshire Young Whittlers Association. But eventually I broke away. I doubted their commitment.
/ Ryan: To whittling? I have to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute. / Bearded Waiter: We have observed sir's evening taking a turn for the worse, sir. In exchange for the balance of the bill, sir may use the "coward's door".
/ Moustached Waiter: It is not the gentleman's way sir, but it is perhaps the way that a fellow can delude himself that a poor evening did not occur. Sir. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031007 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Amy Chilton: I'm really worried about that outfit we sent Ryan out in.
/ Shelley Winters: We agreed, Amy, it was psychological. A brainy plan! / Shelley Winters: Any lady answering personals has been let down a little. But Ryan is dressed as Lt. Columbo, the infallible cop!
/ Amy Chilton: Bad, bad science. / Poppy: Well I had a lovely time! Maybe we can carve out a future together ha ha!
/ Ryan Beckwith: Yeah I guess that's possible maybe in the event of a nuclear winter.
/ Poppy: Ha ha! You're so funny! http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031008 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Man, I see my life now. A series of unpr'ductive blind dates with spinsters, followed by thirty years of early nights and malt drinks. / Ryan Beckwith: Maybe I could become a hermit. No pressure on a hermit. Just drinking rain and gettin' on with growing a beard. / Ryan Beckwith: So this is how it ends. The salty life of old Ryan Beckwith. Livin' inside a children's playhouse, my only friend a bat.
/ Friend Bat: Skree skree!
/ Ryan Beckwith: Friends don't scratch, bat friend. Get on with eatin' your acorn. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031009 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan is stuck at the end of a playground tube at night]]
/ Ryan: Hello
/ Ryan: Help
/ Ryan: Hello
/ Ryan: Anyone / Natalie: What is ze matter? Are you stuck? Why are you stuck?
/ Ryan: I tried to put some joy into my life by havin' a go in the tube. But it went bad. / Natalie: Silly boy! Why do you not try to go back to your mother's womb! Finish ze job!
/ Ryan: Biologic'ly that would be hard I mean - aw you were makin' fun. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031010 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Ryan's head is sticking out of a tube slide in a park somewhere at night.]]
/ Ryan: Hello
/ Ryan: Help
/ Ryan: Hello
/ Ryan: Anyone / [[A girl shows up and spies Ryan in the tube.]]
/ Girl: What is ze matter? Are you stuck? Why are you stuck?
/ Ryan: I tried to put some joy into my life by havin' a go in the tube, but it went bad. / [[From a slightly different angle (Ryan's still in the slide).]]
/ Girl: Silly boy! Why do you not try to go back to your mother's womb! Finish ze job!
/ Ryan: Biologic'ly that would be hard to do I mean - aw you were makin' fun. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031010 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | Ryan Beckwith: Well thanks very much for not helping me out of the tube, French lady. Just another day in my puny existence, crossin' off dates until Judgement Day...
/ Natalie Durand: Ze English! With zere Protestant ethic! Life is a stick with which they will beat themselves everyday! / Natalie Durand: Ze Englishman carries an umbrella then complains that he cannot see ze sun!
/ Ryan Beckwith: Hey now come on. / Natalie Durand: When ze English dance, it is the flap of the beached fish! Ha!
/ Ryan Beckwith: We don't get carried away is all. There could be a war startin' any minute. http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031013 |
| Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison | [[Tim and french lady standing outside childs playhouse]] / Tim: Well thanks very much for not helping me out of the tube, french lady. Just another day in my puny existance, crossin' off dates 'till judgement day...
/ French Lady: Ze English! With their protestant ethic! Life is a stich with which they will beat themselves every day! / French Lady: Ze englishman carries an umbrella and then complains he cannot see the sun!
/ Tim: Hey now come on. / French Lady: When ze english dance it is the flap of the beached fish! HA!
/ Tim: We dont get carried away is all. There could be a war startin any minute http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20031013 |
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