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| Insert Title | Narrator: August, 2004. After many adventures, Piro has established himself as a successful manga artist and returned home...
/ Piro: Thank you all for coming to my panel here at Otakon 11...I'm not really sure why I deserve this... / [[Matt and Ian look on, obviously bored]]
/ Prio: I'm just a hack, my art is pitiful..I'm SO sorry... / Prio: In fact, to prevent dishonoring my readers further...
/ Largo: Blah blah blah...{{Largo is obviously intoxicated, as per usual}} / Prio: I WILL DISEMBOWEL MYSELF IN THE SEPPUKU RITUAL! [[Piro whips out a knife and holds it close to his stomach]] / [[Matt and Ian again - Ian looks slightly disturbed]]
/ Ian: And he does this EVERY year?
/ Matt: Last time he tried to set himself on fire.
/ Random voice: GRAB HIS ARMS!
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-08 |
| Fan Mail | [[JM, Drew, and Matt gather next to a building with what appears to be Ian walking in the background]]
/ JM: Matt, me and Drew need you to settle a bet.
/ Matt: Okay. / [[The panel focuses on Drew and Matt]]
/ Drew: You're still working for the campus newspaper, right?
/ Matt: Off and on.
/ Drew: Remember when they had that story about child abuse? How many letters did they get over that?
/ Matt: About four. / Drew: And what about that story about animal abuse, how many did that get?
/ Matt: Uh... Forty. / [[JM becomes visible in the panel once more as Drew grins at him]]
/ Drew: ...and therefore, people are scum. Pay up, JM.
/ JM: You're going to have to do better than that.
/ Matt: Did it even get four? Maybe I'm thinking of the badminton story. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-10 |
| Mac Hall/M.A.C. Studios Crossover!!! | RENEGADE ICONOCLAST ARTIST OF MAC HALL COMICS! / CHAIN-SMOKING GENERATION Y ARTIST OF M.A.C. STUDIOS! / WHAT SPARKS WILL FLY WHEN THESE TWO MEET?
/ WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THESE WORLDS COLLIDE?
/ STAY TUNED! / BIP BIP
/ BOP BOP http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-12 |
| Now Playing | [[Shot of a movie theater, in front of which a couple is standing]]
/ Patron 1: What should we see, dear?
/ Patron 2: I don't know, there's only a couple of movies playing at seven o'clock. / [[Close-up of movie theater. We can see the patrons' backs and Ian, who is listening to the patrons' conversation]]
/ Patron 1: Excuse me, what's...Final Fantasy? / [[Ian becomes very shocked, like he was stabbed in the back]]
/ Box Office: It's a video game. They made a movie out of it.
/ Patron 1: Oh. That doesn't sound too good, does it? / [[Ian becomes very angry/frustrated at the couple]]
/ Patron 2: Not really...
/ Patron 1: I guess that settles it, then. / [[Ian slaps himself in the forehead]]
/ Patron 1: Two for Tomb Raider Please.
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-17 |
| And he's the writer | [[Ian sits on a pillow in front of a TV, eyes half-closed, console controller in hand, and no expression on his face]]
/ [[JM sits on the couch behind him, his body and the couch out of focus with Ian]]
/ TV: < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-19 |
| Shop Smart, S Mart. | [[Ian crouches next to a cardboard box pulling orange toy packages from it and using them to restock a retail rack]]
/ Narrator: Test Case: Ian McConville
/ Narrator: A young man forced by circumstances to work the night shift at a BIG K-MART
/ Narrator: Six nights a week, from 6 PM to 8 AM, he refills the shelves with the trifles of civilization that consumers have depleted the day before. / Narrator: How long can he last in these conditions?
/ Narrator: When will his mind begin to crumble? / [[Ian stands in between a manager and another employee looking twitchy]]
/ Narrator: About two weeks ago, would be our guess.
/ Manager: McConville, is there any reason you've stacked three cases of Pokemon toys the wrong way around?
/ Employee: They were looking at him, sir. / {{title text: Shop Smart, S Mart.}} http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-22 |
| Ball of Matt | [[Ian walks into the room. His eyes are bagged from the events of the previous comic. Drew is sitting on something next to Matt, who is underneath a blanket on the floor.]]
/ Drew: Hi, Ian. Matt's being a wuss.
/ Matt(from under the blanket): I'm not going. / [[Drew leans over and places his hand on Matt's head (or the top of the blanket)]]
/ Drew: He got this job offer from a magazine, right, and they want to interview him...
/ Ian: I'm NOT going.
/ Drew: ...only he found out they're in New York and starts spazzing. / [[Matt reveals his face, but keeps the blanket on his head]]
/ Matt: I'm from the country. New York takes one look at me and says, "Ah bet yew squeal real nice", only without the Southern accent and in twelve difference languages. / Drew: It's not like you're going to get murdered, you pussy.
/ [[Matt screaming in fear/terror]]
/ Matt: EVERYONE gets murdered in New York! http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-29 |
| It Worked In That Monkey Movie | Jon: Hey, weren't you due at work an hour ago?
/ Ian:Sort of. They had me guarding the outside merchandise tonight. / [[Zoom out to reveal Ian, who is playing video games]]
/ Jon: Aren't you worried about getting, I dunno, FIRED?
/ Ian: Nah, it's cool... / [[Scene changes to outside a K-Mart. A dummy has been posted (by Ian) to guard the merchandise with a sign saying "Attention Thieves: BOO!" Ian's boss is present.]]
/ Ian: I arranged a substitute.
/ Ian's Boss: I'm going to have to have words with that boy. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-31 |
| Six Dollar Man | Micah: Cornered, I hate being cornered.
/ Micah: There was about twelve of them.
/ Micah: They had sealed off the alleyway.
/ Micah: All of them eagerly trained their weapons on my head.
/ Micah: Of course they thought they had the advantage... / Micah: However, I had other plans. I was a top of the line cyborg. implants and nanites coursed through me, making me stronger, faster, better... / Matt: Micah, I don't think causing prostitutes to rain down on your enemies is considered a cybernetic ability. / Micah: Go forth, my hooker army! http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-08-07 |
| Just Like Every Other Day | [[Matt and Ian on a stage]]
/ Matt: Sorry, No comic today Ian and I have gone to Otakon to kick ass and chew gum / Matt: And you know what? / Matt: We're all out of ass
/ [[Ian blows bubble]] http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-08-10 |
| Otakon 2001 Round-up | [[Ian in shock]]
/ Narrator: Ian Watches the last 15 minutes of the cosplay video by mistake and promptly goes into shock... / [[Blood stained Ian, with clenched fist, standing with Matt and a Police officer]]
/ Matt: ...And then he said they were cancelling FLCL and showing 'Tenchi Muyo's Swimsuit adventure instead.
/ Officer: I'm going to rule this as justifiable homicide. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-08-12 |
| Piro Who? | Matt: So, how'd you like your first anime con?
/ Ian: It was great. I especially liked those things... The what-cha-ma-call-its.
/ Matt: The what?
/ Ian: You know, those. / < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-08-14 |
| Fan Service My Ass | [[Matt and Ian sitting infront of a computer]]
/ Matt: Hey Ian, I've got a great idea for increasing our readership.
/ Ian: What's that? / Matt: We'll check the referral logs to see how people are finding Mac Hall, then we'll tailor strips to pander to other individual tastes.
/ Ian: Like when we got all those hits for the Everquest gnome comics... good idea. / [[Mike in front of a computer]]
/ Matt: Hey Mike! What are the top three search engine entries that lead people to the site?
/ Mike: "Free comix porn digimon," "Digimon sex toon" and "Free digimon porn"
/ Matt: What, really?
/ Mike: You think I could make up something like that? / [[Ian and Matt glance at each other]] / [[Ian standing infront of Helen with a digimon costume]]
/ Helen: Fuck off.
/ Ian: < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-08-23 |
| I... Am... Your Singing Telegram | [[Matt laying in bed]]
/ Matt: [[Thinking]] I love mornings before I get up.
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-08-28 |
| It's my new weapon… | {{Click the link, since this isn't what's on the main page.}} /
/ [[Micah is sitting in the lobby at the Marriott hotel in Los Angeles, just like Christopher Walken in Fatboy Slim's 'Weapon of Choice' music video]]
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD / [[closeup of Micah]]
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD / [[view of a hotel maid's towel cart]]
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD / [[closeup of Micah]]
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA CHAINSMOK'N
/ WORD / [[Micah stands]]
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA
/ 'FORE THEY GETCHA / ba-nanananana
/ Ba-NaNaNaNaNa
/ BA-NANANANANA
/ BA-NANANANANA / [[Micah begins dancing]]
/ BWEE-NOW-NA-NAA / DON'T BE SHOCKED BY THE TONE OF OUR VOICE
/ CHECK OUT MY NEW WEAPON,
/ WEAPON OF CHOICE / [[Micah holds up hands and giant double doors open]]
/ DON'T BE SHOCKED BY THE TONE [[Micah rings bell at front desk]]< http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-02 |
| He's Not a Star-Fish Man, Anthony. | Narrator: Helen Richter, a sophomore architecture student, has just pulled an all-nighter to finish the (extremely delicate) scale model that will determine her grade in one of her most important classes. / Narrator: Meanwhile, performing the Weapon of Choice on a balcony above, Micah Chang has momentarily forgotten he can't fly. / [[Micah falls through the air at a smiling, unsuspecting Helen.]] Narrator: Destiny awaits. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-09 |
| Now in Chibi Vision | [[Helen admires her model.]]
/ Helen (to herself): It took all night, but it was worth it. That is one damn fine piece of architecture. Sure would be a shame if something happened to it. / [[Helen looks freaked out. Skull and crossbones appear over her head. She envisions the model in flames.]] / [[Helen looks around.]] / < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-11 |
| If You Came Here, You Came to Have Fun | Helen: Hey, Micah? You said you were leaving at eight and oh my god what is that smell?
/ Micah (Off-screen): What smell? / Helen: Don't even tell me you're too desensitized to smell it. This place reeks!
/ Micah: Um... Are you sure? / Off-screen 1: Now that she mentions it, did you forget to wash the carpet when you spilled that milk?
/ Off-screen 2: Dude, that was a week ago. It's your huge pile of dirty clothes. / Off-screen 1: Whatever.
/ Off-screen 2: Whoah, hang on. Looks like there's a box of Chinese takeout under the clothes. / Helen (to herself): I'm freaking Jane Goodall among the chimps here.
/ Off-screen 1: Did that stuff just move?
/ Off-screen 2: Move hell, I bet by now it can communicate. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-13 |
| Mac Hall :: Archive | [[JM and Matt are looking into Ian's room. Ian is under the covers, his cat is on top of said covers, and there is a poster/picture with Piro on it.]]
/ JM: Ian, you're gonna miss your classes, get up.
/ Ian: Don't want to. It's cold. / [[Camera rotates so we can see Matt and JMs' faces]]
/ JM: Matt, grab a leg and we'll pull him out.
/ Ian: You might not want to do that.
/ JM: Why's that? / [[Close-up of Ian's mouth. We can not see the rest of his body.]]
/ {{Thank God}}
/ Ian: I'm naked under the covers. / [[Pan back out to JM and Matt. Matt is exiting.]]
/ Ian: Checkmate, suckers.
/ JM: Indeed, that complicates things somewhat.
/ Matt: I'm leaving. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-18 |
| Mr. Bling-Bling's Cash Money | [[Matt and Ian are on-stage, and Ian's cat is on his head. Matt is standing behind a podium with "Mac Hall" written on it, and Ian is beside him pressing a switch.]]
/ Matt: We at Mac Hall would like to clear up some of the rumors surrounding yesterday's link to our site by the popular Penny Arcade. The link was given in good faith by Tycho and at no time was any impropriety involved.
/ <<--click-->> / [[Scene changes to reveal Gabe and Tycho from Penny Arcade holding sacks of money.]]
/ Matt: For instance, Gabe and Tycho were not paid off by us. Especially not with hefty sacks of cash. That rumor is totally untrue. / [[Scene changes again to Meg Sagi holding onto a rope attached to a helicopter. She is also holding some money.]]
/ Matt: Furthermore, it is also untrue that PVC-clad agent Meg Sagi was dispatched to Seattle to butter up to Tycho by wining and dining both him and his wife. / [[Scene changes back to Ian and Matt.]]
/ Ian: In reality, she was probably wearing regular pants at the time. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-20 |
| The Waking Part 2 | [[Matt, Drew and Helen look down at the camera]]
/ Matt: Drew, Ian says he's naked under there. Can you think of a way to get him up?
/ Drew: Hmm… / [[Drew grabs ahold of the blanket covering Ian]]
/ Drew: Helen, you might want to turn your head for this
/ Matt: What for?
/ Helen: Huh?
/ Ian: What the…
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-09-27 |
| Now Quit Pestering Me | Jon: Dammit...
/ Jon: I hate these Mini Games...
/ Ian: No Kidding.
/ Ian: Who comes up with this stuff?
/ Ian: All they do is add on to the play hours
/ Jon: Hey I've been meaning to ask you, What the hell is up with that cat?
/ Ian: What cat? / Jon: ...Nevermind http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-02 |
| Mac Hall :: Archive | SO THIS IS THE ISSUE... WE'VE KNOWN YOU FOR AGES AND YET THE MOMENT YOU DISAPPEAR OFF TO COLLEGE YOU EXALT SOME OTHER BUNCH OF GEEKS ON THE INTERNET. WHERE's OUR PIECE OF THE ACTION? WHY NEVER US?
/ Anothony's right. What's the deal? How come it's not OUR caroonized images gracing the internet? / GOOD LORD! What the hell did you do to him?
/ NOTHING! I JUST SMASHED HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL ONCE! MAYBE TWICE / BROCKY, ANTHONY, MATT, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT... FOR A SIZABLE CHUNK OF MY LIFE THE THREE OF YOU HAVE RIDICULED ME, MOCKED ME, ABUSED ME, AND ON AT LEAST ONE OCCASION BEATEN ME UNTIL I LOST CONCIOUSNESS. AND YET YOU WANT ME TO GLORIFY YOU?
/ TOUCHE. / He's right. I guess the best we can hope for is that he doesn't draw us dressed as ballerinas or something. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-05 |
| Winter, only not | Aiser: Nezumi, I was so worried.
/ [[Off panel]] Ian: Hey, is that the pizza guy? 'bout tme you guys got here. / Ian: I ordered that pizza an hou-h-h heh heh how ya doing? I-CAN-EXPLAIN-EVERYTHING. / Aiser: Nez... Who is this?
/ Nezumi: ...um Aiser... this is Ian. He lives next door. He's been 'pertecting' me since you left.
/ Aiser: Okay, now where's his pants?
/ Ian: I'll take that one. / Ian: With the city going to hell and the end of the world just around the corner I thought , "No need for pants now." Sooo... here we are. / Aiser: ...
/ [[Off panel]] Matt: That the pizza guy, Ian? / Aiser: GET ME MY GUN?!?
/ Nezumi: ...ah crap...
/ Matt: Something tells me my timing could be better. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-10 |
| So True | [[JM sits at his computer, annoyed, Ian is yelling from out-of-frame]]
/ Ian: YOU TOTAL BITCH! HOW COULD YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS? FINE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME? NEVER! GET OUT! / [[Ian is sitting, wide-eyed, apologizing to an 'english' book]]
/ Ian: Oh geez… Look, I'm sorry, I didn't those things I said. Geez, I'm sorry. / JM: Ian's always had an abusive relationship with the written language. It's just only obvious during midterms.
/ Ian: I need you baby, please. Come back to me. Come back to Big Daddy Ian. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-21 |
| mm-mmm Evil | [[Alan, Drew and Mike sit in front of the TV in the dark; Alan is holding a game controller]]
/ Drew: What's this? Matches?
/ Mike: Yeah, strike-anywhere matches. They're cool. / [[closeup of Drew's face, red eyes illuminating the match he's holding between them]]
/ Mike: Instead of using some wussy safety strip, you can light them on anything. Brick walls, sidewalks, shoe soles, whatever's got enough friction. / [[Drew strikes match on Alan's face]]
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-23 |
| More Talking Heads | [[Matt stands, depressed]]
/ Matt: Guys…You've gotta help me. There's too much work piling up. I'm gonna go crazy from the stress. How do I deal with this? / [[Ian stands, triangular-mouthed, with a pumpkin-sporting Orip on his head]]
/ Ian: There is but one solution, my young padwan learner. Micah, alert the crew! It's time to find a halloween party!
/ Micah: Cool.
/ Matt: Oh god. / Ian: Of course, it's hard to come up with a costume for you on such short notice…
/ Micah: I think we should get a sheet, cut a dozen or so holes in it, give him a rock in a bag and say he's Charlie Brown.
/ Matt: OH GOD. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-28 |
| Sorry, it's all pencil this time. | [[JM is in costume, Ian is obscured by the frame, but is wearing a paper bag over his head]]
/ JM: Interesting. Who are you supposed to be?
/ Ian: We are the BAG BROTHERS THREE™ / [[Micah, Ian and Matt stand, Micah wearing a plastic bag on his head, Ian a paper, and JM a sleeping bag]]
/ Micah: PLASTIC!
/ Ian: PAPER
/ Matt: and SLEEPING!
/ all three: Together, we are a formidable fighting force to defend the rights of containers everywhere! / JM: Interesting. So was this creativity or just pure laziness.
/ Ian: Some of both, really.
/ Matt: Guys, I think I just spilled my drink in here. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-10-30 |
| no comment | [[Helen and Micah bump shoulder blades]]
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-11-04 |
| Let's see if photoshop will randomly quit this time. | [[Helen and JM are in costume, obviously at a party, with streamers flying through the air]]
/ Helen: Where's Matt?
/ JM: Half an hour ago I heard him talking about 'The Stress-Relieving Properties of Alcohol' and I haven't seen him since
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->> / [[Micah and Ian, in their Bag Brothers costumes, wear grimaces]]
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<--THUMP-->>
/ <<- WHAM ->>
/ Matt: Whoah, were there stairs there? Hee hee hee…OOO. / [[Helen is addressing Micah and Ian]]
/ Helen: One of you guys is going to have to hold his head above the toilet if the time comes
/ Micah: NOT IT.
/ Ian: NOT- crap.
/ Matt: HEE HEE http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-11-06 |