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| Super Pimp | [[Top-third shot of JM slightly frowning]]
/ JM: I'm sorry, Ian, but I just can't stand living here anymore. Everything's always a mess, you can't sleep at night because some jackhole is having a party, I don't have any privacy with my girlfriend... / [[Close-up of Ian, JM in background]]
/ Ian: Girlfriend?... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-03-12 |
| Carnifex | Narrator: JM's housing search begins.
/ [[JM and a landlord are in a basement.]]
/ Landlord: So that's pretty much the tour of the place. What do you think?
/ JM: It seems like a lot of money for a basement apartment.
/ Landlord: Actually, there's a lot of advantages to living in a basement! / Landlord:... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-03-17 |
| Filler | JM: Looking over this sample lease, I have a few questions about the wording in a few passages.
/ Landlord: Ask away. / JM: Well, like this part where it says this is an agreement between me, hereinafter referred to as the 'tenant,' and you, hereinafter referred to as the 'slumlord,'
/ Landlord: WHAT? / JM:... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-03-21 |
| Cthulhu, the littlest elder god | [[Cthulhu The littlest elder god. Cthulhu is shown sitting down and hugging a teddy bear as he looks up at a large, drooling alien monster.]] / [[Cthulhu holds up his teddy bear and a biting skull rips out from the teddy bear's head, scaring the alien monster back.]] http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-03-23 |
| Cthulhu, Gone fishing | [[Cthulhu is shown fishing--fishing for angel babies.]] http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-03-26 |
| Sacri-licious | Ian: 'Sup master JM?
/ JM: Not much, just... / [[JM looks at Ian's forehead.]]
/ JM: ...Uh / JM: Hey, I didn't know you were Catholic.
/ Ian: I'm not. Why? / [[JM touches his forehead.]]
/ JM: Um... Eastern orthodox? With the forehead, I thought... / < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-04-01 |
| That's what she said | [[Ian sitting at computer, Art professor pointing at something on monitor]]
/ Art professor: Ian, what are these runic designs around this character on the left?
/ Ian: They're runes..
/ Art professor: No, what do they mean? There's so many social undertones and hidden meanings associated with them. / Ian:... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-04-05 |
| I'm not touching this one | [[JM and Matt sitting on couch, playing console games. Micah sticks head in around door-way]]
/ Micah: Hey, how do you get menstrual blood out of a bedsheet? / [[JM and Matt wide-eyed]]
/ JM: How the hell would WE know?
/ Micah: I didn't really think you would. I just wanted to remind you that I am in... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-04-18 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-04-21&ref=nf">http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-04-21&ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Seraphim choir | [[Part of a 6 image project. This image was used to represent the Seraphim choir]] http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-04-28 |
| 66 | Ian: Random road trip to crash a party in some other damn state! / Drew: Yes!
/ John: Rock!
/ Micah: It is on, my brothers!
/ Helen: Umm... Okay... / Ian: Now remember, the objective here is to pick up girls, so we can't go sabotaging ourselves by talking all the time about, say, buttsex.
/ Unknown (Helen?):... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-01 |
| Caution | Ian: OK, we're here. Now REALLY no talking about buttsex. Agreed?
/ Guys: Sure. Right. Absolutely.
/ Helen: Buttsex. / [[Wide-eyed Micah, innocent-looking Helen.]]
/ Micah: What?
/ Helen: ... / [[Super deformed Micah and Helen.]]
/ Helen: BUTTSEX!
/ Micah: Uh oh. She's got the meme. / [[Ian has tears rolling... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-05 |
| Matrix: Part VOIP | General: Hah hah hah! Once the machines are cut off from the sun, they'll have no power source! The war will be ours!
/ Soldier: About that plan, General... / [[General takes out gun.]]
/ Soldier: It seems to me that this is going to kill all plant life, and then indirectly starve all animal life, right?... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-12 |
| Return of VOIP | [[The machines form the Matrix are shown.]]
/ Prime Unit Alpha: hoo hoo hoo! i chortle in a simulation of humor! once the humans are enslaved, we shall use their bodies to harvest all the energy we need!
/ Matrix machine 2: about that plan, prime unit alpha... i compute that we cannot possibly get more... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-14 |
| Plan B | [[A girl sees a book hovering in the air beside her.]]
/ Pink haired girl: Huh....? / [[The book reads: The New York Times Bestseller, Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World, Science as a Candle in the Dark]] / [[The girl grabs the book.]]
/ Pink haired girl: ... / [[The girl gets yanked upwards by the... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-20 |
| Marcon 2003 | [[2003 Precious Marcon Moments]] / [[Bizzar phone conversation + elevator ride: We see Ian standing by a girl on her cell phone.]]
/ Girl: ...Yeah I know. He's such an ass. My boyfriend doesn't understand that if he only wants sex three times a week, I'm going to look elsewhere and he's going to have... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-27 |
| I'm not touching this one... | JM: Well Jason, it's been nice talking to you, but I have to run home to check my e-mail. I'm expecting something from another landlord.
/ Jason: Why don't you check it with my computer? / JM: Um... I'm not really comfortable using your computer.
/ Jason: Huh? Why not?
/ JM: Well... There's the empty... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-05-30 |
| Historic Rhetoric | {{title: 3:03 PM}}
/ [[Jon looking bored]] / {{title: 3:06 PM}}
/ [[Micah looking bored]] / {{title: 3:09 PM}}
/ [[Drew looking bored]] / Unknown Suggestor: What would happen if you, like... gargled butter? / {{title: 3:12 PM}}
/ [[Jon looking at glass of butter, Micah bent over sink, Drew in a very... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-03 |
| That one | JM: You're late.
/ Matt: Sorry. I got caught up in some Indian movie on cable. / JM: Which one was it?
/ Matt: Um... I dunno. WEEZE / Matt: There was singing, and there was some guy who was trying to win a girl, but her family wanted her to marry someone else. / JM: That's like saying "It was the episode... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-06 |
| JM the Science Guy | [[Cityscape: JM on the phone with Matt, who has a flat tire]]
/ JM: ...So the nearest garage is about half a mile down the road from you. Want me to call a tow truck for you? / Matt: Nah, that's ok. / Matt: I figure I can drive it flat if it's just half a mile.
/ JM: Don't you have magnesium rims? / Matt:... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-10 |
| Mind Games | [[JM is shown playing video games. Ian's silhouette can be seen sitting across from him.]]
/ JM: Ever noticed how much power games have over college students? I've been thinking about why that is. / [[Now there is a Connect Four between JM and Ian.]]
/ JM: On one level, games have always been training... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-12 |
| Deal with it | [[Helen is shown whistling and walking to the kitchen.]] / Helen: Hey Matt. You're kinda... on the floor.
/ Matt: Yep. Too depressed to move. / [[Helen looks in the fridge.]]
/ Helen: Well, you need anything? Maybe some pillows?
/ Matt: I'm good. / Helen: Okay. Carry on then.
/ Matt: I will, thanks. / Helen... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-16 |
| He's cute when he's scared | Matt: I didn't even know there was an Asian market here.
/ JM: They have a video store in back. I stop in sometimes to browse. / JM: And actually, it's pretty much all Asian or Hispanic for a few blocks in either direction. I'm surprised you didn't notice. / [[Matt looks frightened.]]
/ JM: I mean,... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-20 |
| Mr. Bling-Bling's cash-money | [[JM's search for off-campus housing continues.]]
/ JM: Hey, this is actually really nice! Now how much is rent?
/ Landlord: 2,400 dollars a month.
/ JM: For a room?
/ Landlord: For the house. / JM: Who can afford a whole house?
/ Landlord: That is why you find roommates, no? / [[Bling! $ Bling! $ signs... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-25 |
| Deadly Snake Lemons | Ian: Move into a house? What's wrong with here? I like it here.
/ JM: Face it Ian, here sucks. / JM: With all the garbage we have to put up with from the university, why would you want to stay in this little rathole? / JM: I mean, really... / JM: ...Uh, Ian?
/ Ian: *Whimper* / [[Ian has puppy dog eyes... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-06-30 |
| Deus Ex Micah | [[>set DeusEx.JCDentonmale bCheatsEnabled True
/ >SpawnMass Hooker1]] / [[A pimped out Micah stands against a brick wall. He has on a suit of armor as well as a gun shoulder holster and glasses. He looks menachingly at the viewer. Next to him is a wanted sign, which looks like a computer screen. It reads... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-07-07 |
| Diversity Check | [[Matt is at his computer. He is reading an email:
/ Dear Matt,
/ A recent Supreme Court ruling upheld the value of diversity in higher education, something your University prides itself on. Do you find this diversity is also represented in your immediate circle of friends?
/ Love,
/ Mom]] / Matt: Hey guys!... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-07-08 |
| Strike Three | [[A messy-faced Ian comes up to JM, who is reading Good Omens.]]
/ Ian: Have you ever started to make pancakes, then decided you didn't really want pancakes, and then just started drinking the batter to finish it off? / [[JM looks quizzically at Ian.]] / [[JM returns to his book.]]
/ JM: No.
/ Ian: Yeah,... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-07-13 |
| Easily Amused | [[Matt is in a store looking at a book.]] / Kid: Gasp! It's the Yu-Gi-Oh Maze of the Pharoah deck! / Kid: *Pant pant pant pant pant pant pant* / Kid: *Huh huh huhhuh-wheeze AWHEEZEWHEEZEAWHEEZEawheezea- / < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-07-16 |
| ConnectiCon 2003 - Recap | [[Ian is talking to a girl with green and black striped hair.]]
/ Narrator: Like many first-year cons, ConnectiCon suffered from what might be politely called "organizational
/ issues."
/ Ian: Okay, we just found out we're giving a Photoshop tutorial, but we're missing a scanner, a mouse, and a computer... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-07-21 |