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| I Got Me Mad English Skills | JM: Stayed awake to finish the report, huh? Lemme see.
/ Micah: Mmph / JM: I gotta give you credit, a lot of people don't have the willpower to... / *flip* / JM: You pulled an all-nighter for a two page paper?
/ Micah: Need... Ritalin... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-02-16 |
| And this is the guy who hasn’t updated the news in 4 months | Helen: Buenos dias, señor Mike / Mike: Helen! How’ve you been? How’s Jason? / Helen: Oh, we broke up. He said he wanted to see other people / ... / Mike: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! / Mike: Heh. But seriously, how’s Jason?
/ Helen: Really, I’m not kidding http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-02-19 |
| Recommended by the Swiss | Mike: So, Helen, what brings you here?
/ Helen: Just getting away from my roommate. / Helen: She’s nice enough, but she’s always in the room. It gets old
/ Mike: Hmm. / Helen: I wish some guy would show her a good time, het her out of my hair
/ Mike: Heh. / Helen: I wish some guy with headphones would show her a good time, get her out of my hair.
/ Mike: Oh. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-02-26 |
| Mike: You want me to seduce your roommate? / Helen: I was thinking more of a date, but seduction would work too. / …might help her unwind, you never know. / Mike: That’s completely evil and manipulative. No way. / Helen: Aw, come on, she’s just your type! She’s smart, she’s funny, she gets good grades… / Helen: …she’s asian. / Mike: Ooo. Hmm… | |
| From: Ian / To: Ace | To my dad,
/ I can’t be home this year to give you grief, but you are responsible for getting me here. / You’ve always pushed me and nurtured my (mad) skills, made sure I stayed on the up and up, made sure to take notice of what I do, and did the same for Deb, Kev, Aiden and Dave. / Thank you for getting me here at college and I’ll do my damnest to make sure I stay. / Have a relaxing, restful day. / Don’t let whatever’s going on elsewhere in your life to spoil this day. / It’s your day. / Love,
/ Ian McConville http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-02 |
| Pulling Teeth | [[Ian stands outside of Mike's recording studio as he prods at his PDA with a stylus]]
/ PDA: Things to do tomorrow:
/ PDA: 1. Check back on scholarship application.
/ PDA: 2. Begin research on LIT 320 project. / [[In the recording studio, Mike runs by with his hands firmly holding his headphones against his ears while Helen chases him with her arms raised victoriously]]
/ Mike: All right! I'll have sex with your roommate! Just stop bothering me!
/ Helen: Woohoo! / [[With Mike and Helen now unseen again, Ian continues using his PDA, seemingly unaffected by the scene]]
/ PDA: 3. Beat Mike within an inch of his life. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-05 |
| At Least I Don't Have a Red Shirt... | Ian: Micah! Run for your life! / Ian: JM's evil twin is on the loose! He'll wreak unholy vengeance upon us all! / Ian: Oh no! Here he comes! [[Ian throws himself over balcony]] / [[Micah stands waiting. JM enters from left, sans goatee]] / Micah: I like the new look
/ JM: Wouldn't having no goatee make me the good twin?
/ [[Ian peers up over the edge]]
/ Ian: Hey, that's true. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-07 |
| His power level is over a Million!?! | [[JM is standing around and suddenly throws his head back as if in extreme pain]]
/ JM: GHAUUAAAAAAAAA / [[JM clenches his fists in an evil fashion]]
/ JM: At last, my incubation is complete! Now to leave this miserable planet and TAKE OVER THE GALAXY! / [[JM runs off]]
/ JM: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! / [[Ian is playing video games with Drew]]
/ Ian: …and that’s what I think happened to JM’s evil twin.
/ Drew: Have you been sniffing your art supplies? http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-12 |
| Actual Products | Monty: Hello, I’m Monty, the professional golf player.
/ Monty: In order for me to get where I am today I had to practice night and day.
/ Monty: So why stop practicing when I need to take a shit?!
/ Monty: That’s why I use the Putt-Pooper, a revolutionary putting system that enables you to practice while you clear out those demons.
/ I’ll you do is place the Putt-Pooper green and you’re good to go… / Matt: Who falls for this crap?!? I mean who really needs to putt while they make a sacrifice to the porcelain idol?
/ Matt: I know I don’t… / Matt: How ‘bout you, JM?
/ JM: Nope…
/ Matt: And you, Ian? / Matt: Ian?…
/ Matt: IAN?!? / Matt: Is that a Gasoline powered blender?!
/ Ian: …no… http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-14 |
| Cruising | [[Master Chief of Halo driving a warthog.]] / Master Chief: I swear if he calls me 'Cletus' one more time... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-15 |
| My best Slick Impression | [[Close-up of Micah, who has fallen asleep in the car]]
/ Ian: Micah, wake up. We’re here!
/ Micah: Sneh? / Ian: The Mardi Gras party at last, man! It’s gonna be great!
/ Ian: All the carefree debauchary of the New Orleans French Quarter, right here in our very own town. What could be better? / [[Ian is holding beads]]
/ Micah: When I went to sleep we were going to a chinese restaurant.
/ Ian: Plans change. Grab some beads. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-19 |
| Late But Well Drawn | [[JM and Ian are sitting at a bar]]
/ JM: Hey, Ian, what's the sketchbook for?
/ Ian: To pick up women. / [[JM gestures as if to punch someone]]
/ JM: What are you gonna do, beat them over the head with it and drag them away?
/ Ian: No fool. Observe. / Ian: Excuse me, but would you mind posing for a drawing? / [[Ian sits pointing dramatically at a girl who looks at him suspiciously]]
/ Girl: Well... okay. / [[Ian starts to walk away]]
/ JM: I don't know if that's brilliant or pathetic.
/ Ian: I'll let you know which. / {{title text: "late but well drawn"}} http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-21 |
| Damnit Ian… Quit playing Desu Ex and draw a friggen comic | Helen: Look, Mike, I appreciate you bringing me to this Mardi Gras party trying to cheer me up… / Helen: …but I’m getting over Jason in my own way, I’m not sure being at a party with lots of people is really what I want right now. / Mike: Huh? I just wanted to come because I heard they have a pinball machine. / Helen: Pinball? / Mike: Right. / Helen: You’re gonna get such a beatdown for this later. / Mike: Hey, you know what would cheer you up? Pinball. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-26 |
| Now in Trippy Vision | [[A girl poses on a chair while Ian sketches her]] / [[A girl looks over the top of his sunglasses]] Ian: Thanks again for posing, by the way... / [[A girl looks at Ian, wide-eyed]] Ian: It's great practice for me to be able to draw such beautiful eyes. / [[A girl lowers her eyes and blushes.]] Ian (to himself): Brilliant. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-03-28 |
| Heh… Yeah Right | [[Mike is covered in girls]] / Mike (thinking): This is ok and all, but I really just wanted to play pinball. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-02 |
| Because Crocs just weren’t scary enough | [[Steve Irwin sneaks up on Drew and jumps on Drew’s back]]
/ Drew: AAUGH! / Steve Irwin: WHAT A FANTASTIC OPPORTUNITY TO OBSERVE THE COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR IN A SOCIAL SETTING! / [[Steve Irwin proceeds to ride on Drew's back as Drew runs around, flailing his arms]]
/ STAY TUNED! I’LL BE WATCHIN’ THE FEISTY BUGGER BAREBACK FOR THE NEXT HOUR! / Drew: NOOO! http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-09 |
| He’s Everywhere | [[Steve Irwin rides on Drew's back past a bar, in front of which Matt is watching him]]
/ Steve Irwin: AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, YOUR TYPICAL COMP SCI MAJOR JUST CAN’T SEEM TO RELAX IN A PARTY SITUATION LIKE THIS ONE! FASCINATING, EH? / Drew: GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF! / [[Matt glances at his drink]]
/ Matt(thinking): I knew I couldn't trust that bartender http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-13 |
| No they don't | [[Matt is sitting on the floor with a drink in his hand, looking depressed]]
/ Matt(thinking): Well, fantastic. It's late, I haven't talked to anyone all night, and I'm getting depressed. This night is very close to sucking. / [[Micah and a girl enter the scene]]
/ Micah: So yeah, I spend a lot of time on Everquest. I play a gnome.
/ girl: Gnomes rock!
/ Micah: Gnomes DO rock. / [[Micah and the girl have exited the scene]]
/ Matt(thinking):Tonight sucks. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-20 |
| It's Just That Easy | [[Matt sits alone outside]]
/ <<*CLICK*>> / [[Ian walks out caring a sketch pad accompanied by an unnamed girl holding her arm around him]]
/ Girl: I had a great time posing tonight. You're going to call me, right?
/ Ian: Of course. / [[Girl walks off, Matt grabs Ian's sketch pad with disbelief]]
/ Girl: Bye! / [[Ian snaches his sketch pad back]]
/ Matt: Does she really have a tattoo on her...?
/ Ian: Hey, that's private! http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-23 |
| Later…Back at the Farm | [[Mike's hand is holding a tape]] / [[A stereo is playing the tape]] / [[Mike is sitting peacefully with headphones on]] / [[Mike's face with a pained expression]]
/ <<…AND I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE IT. 'CAUSE IT TOOK SO LONG TO BAKE IT. AND I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT RECIPE AGAAAAAIIIN!>> / [[Helen is sitting at a green iMac and Mike is standing next to her, yelling and holding multiple audio cassette tapes]]
/ Mike: I couldn't help but notice that all of my mix tapes have been recorded over with the Donna Summers version of MACARTHUR PARK.
/ Helen: Revenge is a dish best served with cake out in the rain, pinball-boy. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-25 |
| That Wacky Freud | (Matt's dream)
/ *Matt is being chased by books, pencils and paper* / *English book smacks Matt in head, knocking him down* / *Books, pencils and paper cover Matt* / (Reality) / Matt: I think my subconscious/subconcious is trying to tell me something / JM: According to Freud, it's telling you to have sex with your mother / Matt: I didn't even tell you what the dream was. / JM: Freud never lets details get in the way. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-04-30 |
| The Dangers of EverCrack | [[Micah sits at his desk in front of his computer]]
/ Narration: The Dangers of an Everquest Addiction:
/ Narration: Carpel tunnel syndrome / [[Micahs eyes begin to noticeably sag with fatigue as his head slightly lowers]]
/ Narration: Malnutrition from playing through mealtimes. / [[Micah collapses onto the flow and off of the panel, bringing his chair down with him]]
/ Narration: Subsequent collapse from hunger.
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-03 |
| Mac Hall :: | Ian: Hi everybody. We've had a lot of people tell us that JM and Matt look too much alike. So, Matt whipped up a quick diagram to help you tell the difference. Show 'em, Matt.
/ Matt: Okay, here we go. / < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-07 |
| www.GIGER.com | [[An alien drone from the movie "Alien" is crouched in a hunting pose, scene is overlaid with a green tint.]]
/ Narrator: SILENCE... THE CREATURE WAITS FOR ANOTHER PREY TO ADD TO THE HIVE. / [[Bird's eye shot of alien creature, crouched in rafters of a dark building. An armed figure stands illuminated in a doorway below]]
/ Narrator: IT STIRS... ANOTHER HAS STUMBLED APON THE CREATURE'S LAIR. / [[Closeup of soldier, alien is barely visible in top of panel, still on rafters. Soldier looks inattentive.]]
/ Narrator:WATCHING FROM UP HIGH, THE CREATURE WAITS FOR IT'S CHANCE / [[Closeup of alien's bared fangs.]]
/ Narrator:THE PREY'S MOMENT OF WEAKNESS SHOWS. THE CREATURE MOVES TO STRIKE... / [[Irritated Matt looking at ceiling of well-lit room]]
/ Matt: Ian, what are you doing on the ceiling?
/ Ian[[offscreen, speech baloon pointing up]]: Foul sack of meat, you shall be consumed for the queen's hive! http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-10 |
| It Got Feet | [[Matt sitting in a cubicle, staring blankly at a computer screen]] / [[Zoom in to Matt, a line now visible across his forehead]] / [[Matt's brain hops out of his now open head]] / [[Brain looks at Matt]] / Matt's Brain: Well, you can stay if you want to, but I'm leaving. / [[Zoom out to cubicle, with brain walking away]] / [[Back in the apartment, Ian sitting in a chair playing video games, Matt standing looking slightly confused]]
/ Ian: Hey-ya Matt. How was work?
/ Matt: Seemed like it went by really quickly ... http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-12 |
| Meeting of the Minds | Lem: You the man
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-16 |
| No Arcapella For You | Matt's brain travels the world!
/ [[A picture of Matt's brain in a cool hat, standing in front of the globe.]]
/ Statue of Liberty - New York!
/ [[Matt's brain holding a camera up to take a snapshot of the statue of Liberty, which can be seen (blurrily) in the background.]]
/ The Louvre! - Paris!
/ [[Matt's brain stands in front of some crap looking paintings, sporting a beret and a cigarette holder.]]
/ Dance Dance Revolution - Hong Kong!
/ [[Matt's brain stamps on a DDR pad.]]
/ Cafas Debates - Madrid!
/ [[Matt's brain stands on a table, holding a lengthy discussion.]] / Brain: Mira, mira. Es cierto que los periodismos de pulitzer y hearts estuvieron muy agressivos, pero hoy el gobierno de los estados unidos no permite los reporteros ir al verdadera guerra! / [[Matt sits at his desk with his skull open and vacant, apparently dreaming. Matt's boss hands him a huge stack of paper.]]
/ Boss: Matt, we're going to need you to look through these funding documents and write a training manual for creating them. / [[Matt's brain is still in Madrid.]]
/ Brain: Un momento mis amigos... looks like I'm being paged. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-26 |
| Wild Crazy Monkey Sex... Made You Look | [[Mike and Helen sit on a green couch, playing a video game in a dark room with the glow of the television screen being the only source of light]]
/ Mike: I gotta go. Thanks for inviting me to your house.
/ Helen: What? It's only 11:30. You never go to bed before 2 AM back at college. / [[The view switches to behind the couch where only the silhouettes of Mike and Helen's heads can be seen]]
/ Mike: HAH! Tetris!
/ Mike: It's just my parents don't care when I hang out with my guy friends, but if I stay late here they get weird about it.
/ Helen: How come? / [[The perspective changes to back in front of the couch again]]
/ Mike: Well, obviously they think we're having wild crazy monkey sex. / [[Mike smiles suggestively at Helen, who is unamused by his comment]] / [[Now slightly zoomed in, Helen smiles while Mike seems a bit disappointed]]
/ Helen: You're way more likely to get some from your guy friends than your are from me.
/ Mike: Ain't it the truth. http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-06-29 |
| Now With Better Support | JJARO BOXERS CHARGE-UP / < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-01 |
| So Easy | [[In a silhouetted view in front of a blue background, Drew and Matt are seated in folding chairs with Matt standing a fair distance behind them]]
/ Ian: How'd the date go?
/ Matt: Pretty well. / [[The vision of the characters in a dorm room setting becomes clear, showing that Ian is currently occupied with playing a video game]]
/ Drew: Hey, let me see your wallet.
/ Matt: What?
/ Drew: Just let me see it for a second / [[The silhouette vision returns with Matt now standing much closer to Ian and Drew, who is sorting through Matt's wallet]]
/ < http://machall.com/view.php?date=2001-07-03 |