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Will Check [[Matt is playing video games while Ian is lounging around.]] / Matt: I got a Game Boy for Christmas. / Ian: That's good. / Matt: No, that's NOT good. / Matt: I was never allowed to have a Game Boy when I was a kid. I was so addicted to video games that my parents knew if I had one I wouldn't do anything else. / And they were right. It's a constant test of will just to keep from using it every waking minute. / Ian: How's that working out for you? / Matt: I'm not playing it when I'm stopped at red lights anymore, so I guess that's a step forward.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-12-29
Log Out [[Malakym is shining her sword.]] / Malakym: ...The Spartha is a good sword, but this one has 'DEATHBRINGER' right in the name... / Malakym: -YAWN- Eh, I guess four levels is enough for one night. / <> / Malakym: Time to log ou- / [[A mage appears with a flag of France, frightening Malakym.]] / Random Mage: I CLAIM THIS BOOTY IN THE NAME OF FRANCE! / Micah: Did that... / Ian: SHUT-IT. / Micah: Maybe if you didn't.. / Ian: JUST DIE.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-03
The Question [[Helen's sister, Helen, and their mother sit at the kitchen table. Sister asks a question; Helen eats her breakfast; their mother reads the news paper.]] / Sister: Mom, why is the sky blue? / Helen: I got this one. / [[Close-up on Helen's face and torso. Very anime-like expressions on all of the characters.]] / Helen: Okay, you've played with a prism, so you know light can be split into colors, right? Well, when light hits something like dust or molecules, the blue gets more scattered than the red. So when light from the sun is passing overhead, it hits stuff, and the blue light comes down into our eyes, and that's why the sky is blue. Make sense? / [[Close up on sister.]] / Sister: Actually, I knew all that. I just wanted to make her squirm. / [[Back to original view of all three characters.]] / Sister: So Mom, where do babys come from? / Mother: We'll see how smug you two are once you've been out of school as long as I have.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-05
(Untitled) [[Random guy and Micah are walking past eachother.]] / Random guy: Helen? Yes, she's just finishing up her welding project. Second door to the left. / Micah: Thanks. / [[Micah's walks in the door. Helen's welding torch can be seen in the foreground.]] / Helen: EYES! / Micah: What? / [[A bright blue light covers the panel.]] / <<-FOOOOSH->> / [[Same as the second panel, except Micah's face around his eyes is red, and his mouth is open.]] / Micah: (...) / [[Micah rubs his eye with his hand. Helen is dressed in a welding mask and welding gloves, and is holding a welding torch.]] / Micah: MY EYES! / Helen: Yes, se, that's why we say that.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-09
The Welding p2 [[Micah is crouched over, both hands covering his eyes. Helen appears as a blur in the foreground.]] / Helen: Looking at the spot is like looking into the sun, you know. / Micah: Ow. / [[Micah is sitting towards the left of the panel, squinting. Helen is standing towards the right, with her welding gear on.]] / Helen: You should be getting your vision back pretty soon. / Micah: Yeah. I... um. Hmm. / [[Same as last panel, except Micah's eyes are wide open.]] / Helen: What? / [[Same as last panel, except Helen has taken her mask off and is striking a pose.]] / Micah: Is it weird that I'm more turned on than I've ever been in my life? / Helen: HELL no. Check me out, I'm totally badass.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-19
 
Happy Birthday, Ian [[Ian is shown with a party noise maker. His cat is on his shoulder wearing a polka dotted party hat.]] / Happy Birthday Ian! / From Applegeeks.com / <> / {{Signed,}} Hawk
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-23
This can only get worse [[A police officer and the Clint Eastwood-looking detective McGillicutty are on the highway.]] / McGillicutty: What's the story, sergeant? / Sergeant: It's a strange one, detective McGillicutty. / [[McGillicutty opens a lighter and lights his cigarette.]] / <> <> / [[A moving van is turned over on it's side.]] / Sergeant: Near as we can tell, the truck was smuggling a cargo of exotic animals. It took a turn too fast, the load shifted, and over it went. / McGillicutty: Exotic animals? / [[We see into the open back of the moving van.]] / Sergeant: Boas, macaws, sugar gliders... even a crate of monkeys. We recovered most of them, but the monkeys escaped. / [[McGillicutty pulls out his .44 Magnum revolver.]] / McGillicutty: I won't have any damn dirty apes running loose in my city, Sergeant. / Another Officer: Judging by the state of the other animals, they'll be looking for food. / {{Elsewhere!}} / Matt: You bought how many banannas? / Ian: Bulk is cheaper!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-27
You know I'm right. [[Matt is looking in the fridge. Ian appears, upside down.]] / Matt: Hey. There's totally nothing in the fridge! Leftover pizza, bologna slices, peanut butter, even the vodka... all gone. / Ian: There's only one explanation for this. / Matt: Jon's pilfering our stuff again? / Ian: MONKEYS! / Matt: Fine, it's monkeys. Whatever.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-01-30
That's Low Matt: Jesus! / Monkey: HSSS! / Matt: Monkeys! / Ian: Yes. / Matt: Now what? / Ian: They are a cowardly and superstitious lot. They will eat their fill and move on. Such is the way of the primate, unlike his fierce rival, the ro- / <<*CRASH*>> / Monkey: Eek eek eeek! / [[With a now-wrecked desktop and hard drive smoking in front of Ian and Matt.]] / Ian: That was just uncalled for.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-02-02
Katsucon-Report Narration: We went to Matsutake Steak and Sushi for dinner, where petite Asian women mistook our orders, didn't bring Ian food, and pretty much all but punched us in the kidneys. / Not Infact Chun-Li Asian Woman: GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! / <> / [[Jes, Spike Boyd, Ian, and Jamie are playing on their DS's with a GameCube + Screen.]] / Narration: We did nothing to fix our reputation of being aloof and indifferent. / Fan: Could you sign my... um... hello? / Narration: Jes got more fanart than us this year, mostly from Vaz. / Jes: Awww, that's so sweet! / Matt: I thought you didn't draw girls with wings anymore. / Narration: An anthrax scare cut off supplies to the basement artist's alley. / Doc: Mookie!! We're going to throw you your banana!!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-02-18
 
BoB Gun [[Ian is looking at the wrecked computer with a screaming monkey behind him.]] / Ian: Matt. / <<**BZZZT** ZIZZLE..>> / Matt: Yes? / Ian: Get the monkey gun. / Matt: Is that a gun for shooting monkeys or a gun that shoots monkeys out of it? / Ian: Uh... / Matt: Because we don't have either. / Ian: Why don't we have any monkey guns? / Matt: I'm pretty sure they don't exist. / Ian: Then do we have ANY guns? / Matt: No. / Ian: Huh... / <> / <> / Ian: OK then, I guess we're going mano a monkey. / <> / Matt: Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak? I'm just asking.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-02-20
and I mean it Chief: YOU'RE OFF THIS CASE, MCGILLICUTTY! You're a loose cannon! / McGillicutty: You can't pull me from this investigation, chief. I get results! / Chief: Yeah, I read about your results. / Chief: IN THE OBITUATRIES! / McGillicutty: You don't know what they're like, Chief. You never had to watch your squad get slaughtered by tonkin snub-noses back in 'Nam! / Chief: The force can't afford people like you on it, McGillicutty. Turn in your badge. / McGillicutty: Fine. / <> / McGillicutty: You can keep it, for all that it's worth anymore. But remember when I tell you this: This isn't over... / <> / [[To be continued!]]
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-01
I'm so Sorry [[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets movie is on.]] / Harry: Geh.. the basilisk's venom runs swift through my arm. I don't have much time left... / Fawkes: Wark? / <> / Harry: Of course! The tears of a phoenix contain healing powers. The poison is gone! / Harry: Hmmm... that should work wonders on my hemroids. / [[Harry is talking to Hagrid. The butt end of Fawkes is sticking out of his butt end.]] / Harry: I have a problem.. / Fawkes: WaRk / [[Helen is sitting on the couch, Micah standing behind the couch.]] / Helen: God damnit, Micah. This is why we can't watch Harry Potter together. / Micah: He-hee
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-08
Guest strip by Jorge Rivas and Dave Trischuk {{Guest strip by Jorge Rivas and Dave Trischuk}} / [[Ian is sitting down at his desk, preparing to turn on the computer in front of him]] / Ian: Well I hear PC's are harder to use the Mac's. Let's give it a try then. / [[The PC boots up and begins emitting ominous noises]] / <> <> / [[The computer screen displays an error message]] / Computer: Critical error. Windows has detected a problem with NIC hadware Address 0x38fea29930a0 I/O d07f resource conflict in DC99x0.sys / [[Ian looks confusedly at the computer]] / Ian: What the... / Computer: ha! you don't know what this means do you? I might as well talk to myself. *monitor shutting down* this is the voice of colossus. i have better things to do than acquiesce your pathetic whims, you mac loser / [[An enraged Ian begins screaming at the computer, while his old Mac sits idlely by]] / Ian: YOU...YOU THERMO-NUCLEAR RAZOR BLADE WITH A HEATSINK! / Mac: Bet you're sorry you got rid of me now, bitch!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-15
Let's End This [[One hooker with a heart of gold later: McGillicutty knocks down the door to a stunned Drew, Matt, bandaged Ian, and JM.]] / <> / Matt: Jesus Herbert Walker CHRIST. / McGillicutty: I heard there were monkeys here. / Matt: There were, until JM came home and called animal control. / JM: Yeah, that was like three days ago. By the way, you guys are idiots. / McGillicutty: Oh. / McGillicutty: Well... guess I'll leave then. / Guys: Ass. / Guys: Shh!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-22
 
Filler art "Loading..."
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-24
New People Matt: I've been in a rut. I think I need to meet some new people, but I'm not sure where to go. / Drew: If you ask me, you should try a bar. / Matt: Not a bad idea... / [[Matt sits cheerfully in a bar with a drink. He looks around and then pulls out his cell phone.]] / <> / Matt: Now what? / Drew on phone: Drink until you don't care about meeting people.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-26
R&D [[JM and Matt are in a car with JM driving.]] / Matt: More than one? / JM: Matt, "dating" hasn't meant "exclusivity" for about the entire time you've been alive. / JM: Did you miss the bulletin? / JM: In fact, dating more than one person is generally considered a sign of being mentally well-adjusted. / Matt: What the fuck is this, Brave New World? / Matt: Why would you want to do that? / JM: I don't get you. / JM: When did more girls become bad? / Matt: I can't even get one and there are people out there with two. / Matt: They should quit hogging. / JM: OK, you're missing the point again.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-03-31
Mouse Puck [[A little mouse is eating ramen in the dark.]] / <> / <> / [[The lights turn on.]] / Mouse: squee..? / [[A vacuum cleaner thumps down, bouncing the mouse.]] / <> / <> / [[The vacuum cleaner aims for the mouse. The mouse leaps out of the way. It then gets trapped into a brown packaging box.]] / <> / [[Matt is holding down the box, Ian is holding the vacuum cleaner.]] / Matt: Wouldn't it be easier to set out traps? / Ian: That would be cruel. / Mouse: squeek!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-04-05
Office Space Sean: You know what I really don't like about working at a local newspaper? Every time something happens in my territory, I feel personally insulted when they stereotype my people there. They can't even do a hard news story without slipping in "such and such, in the kooky liberal enclave of..." or "blah blah blah, aging left-wing activists and food co-ops." / Sean: If you read all this, you'd think my town is some hippy-dippy commune swarming with rejects from the Summer of Love who are to full of ideals and peyote to unwedge their Birkenstocks from their own asses. / Matt: Sean, everything you just said is absolutely true. / Sean: That still doesn't mean CNN can say it. Bull SHIT, that's my job!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-04-13
 
Court Space Narration: Another of Matt's coworkers. She spends a lot of time covering the courts. / Kyle: Meredith? / Meredith: Kyle Fishman? / Kyle: Wow, I haven't seen you since high school! / Kyle: What are you here for? / Meredith: The double homicide case. / [[They both look at each other quizzically.]] / Meredith: No no, I didn't do it. / Kyle: Oh! Okay. / Meredith: What are you here for? / Kyle: The armed robbery case. / [[A wide-eyed Meredith looks at a glum Kyle.]] / Kyle: Yeah, I did it. / Kyle's lawyer: Shh.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-04-16
Bop 2 -- Blood Omen Matt: This is my new desk. / Matt: It's a Cole steel desk from the late 60's. / Matt: My grandpa used to work in the factory where they made these. / Matt: This is not a desk for fancypants ar-TISTES. / Matt: This is an utilitarian slab of cold, industrial metal. / Matt: you know how they used to tell people to hide under their desks in case of nuclear war? / Ian: Yeah? / Matt: It's because they had desks like these. / Ian: Huh. / [[Alan throws a small red ball]] / Alan: Quiddich! / <> / Matt: Also works wonders on destructive hallmates. / Ian: Hmm... / Alan: Ow ow ow OW ow ow / Alan: The pain / Alan: The freakin' pain...
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-04-21
Friday Night [[Two guys are using urinals in a bathroom.]] / Guy 1: ...Yeah so, it wasn't till I took two in the ass that I realised, "This just isn't for me." But by then it was too late to pull out. / Guy 2: Ah. / [[Ian is shown using the urinal next to the two guys. He has a look of shock on his face.]] / Guy 2: He's talking about paintball. / Ian: *
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-03
BBS Store clerk: Do you have your Groceryway Club Card? / JM: I don't have one. / Matt: You don't? Use mine. / Matt: Why don't you have a card? It's free. / JM: I don't like the charade of getting a discount on inflated prices just so they can keep track of my buying habits. / Matt: I don't know, it's kind of fun. See? They tell you how much you've spent, how much you've saved, how many more special items you have to buy to get a prize... / JM: Big Brother with a smile? / Matt: I think of it more as Foodstuffs the RPG. / <>
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-07
Protectra <> / Ian: [[thought bubble, showing that he has forgotten his key]] / Ian: [[thought bubble, showing annoyance]] / [[Panel showing ADT sign on the window of the house]] / [[Ian is surrounded by broken glass and the ADT sign on the floor]] / Ian: I think I just told the neighborhood that that sign is a bluff. / JM: IAN! DOORBELL!!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-10
 
E3 round up Voiceover: Join us now for Ian's E3 adventures!!! / Watch Ian as he... / ...Visits the nintendo booth! / [[Ian is still and expressionless]] / Voiceover: ...Sees a private showing of EVIL GENIUS! / Offscreen: This trap blows the secret agents through the fire and into a *shark* tank! / [[Ian remains still and expressionless]] / Voiceover: ...Watches the HALF-LIFE 2 demo! / [[Ian does not change]] / Voiceover: ...visits the FINAL FANTASY booth! / [[Ian becomes psychotic/deranged]] / Ian: That's not the right armor! / That's level 50 armor! / Why don't you show them a video of a character beating on a RABBIT for 20 hours, you bastards!?! / Voiceover: ...Sees SPLINTER CELL 3! / [[Ian returns to being still & emotionless]] / Voiceover: ...Has his mechanical heart replaced by his soulless masters! / [[A doctor with a monocle is seen working on robotic innards of Ian - who is still and emotionless]]
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-14
Lord of the Flies Narrator: Cicadas are harmless but they still terrify some people because they land on everything / [[College girl has one cicada on her shoulder]] / College girl: EEEE! EEEEE! GET IT OFF! / Narrator: Then there's Ian. / [[Ian covered in cicadas]] / Ian: The Insect King demands your pumpkin pie!
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-19
For Science! Older Woman: Thanks for helping to judge the school's science fair! We're so glad to have you! / Matt: Hey, my pleasure. / Older Woman: Here are the displays you'll be grading. Once the other judges are done with theirs, we'll meet back here. / Matt: Each display gets a different judge? / Older Woman: Yes. Why? / Matt: Well, you want us to grade these catagories on a one to ten scale, but you don't have a ruberic for what level of quality gets what kind of score. With each judge applying their own standards, declaring a winner won't be very, you know... scientific. / [[Silhouette of Older Woman raising a chair over Matt's head]] / Matt: To do it right, we'll have to have all the judges look at all the displays. Or maybe a group of judges per grade level. It'll take a lot longer, but... / Matt: I woke up in an alley four hours later wearing nothing but a baking soda volcano and two magic rocks over my nipples.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-24
Fun with insects [[A cicada has landed on Drew's hand]] / <> / JM: Boy, looks like they're advertising the hell out of the downtown revitalization initiative. / [[Drew flicks the cicada onto a kid]] / <<-Phik->> / <> / Kid: -GASP-... / JM: The thing I don't understand is, all these posters and signs are in the downtown itself. / Kid: AIEEEEEEE! / MOM! MOM! GET IT OFF!! / > / Drew: (Thinking) It's a shame this only happens once every 17 years. / JM: Does it seem strange that we're running a multimillion-dollar campaign to tell people about how good they should feel about being in a place they already are?
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-05-27
Marcon 2004 {{title text: Marcon 2004: Another Age (crossed out, replaced with "Anthony's Rage")}} / {{title text: anthony + drunkard in cab}} / [[Anthony punches Man in cab in face]] / Man in cab: Hey fisherman! Nice tackle box! Going to go fish up a- / <> / {{title text: ian + breakfast}} / [[Ian is sitting, decidedly happy, infront of a bucket of gravy with a spoon]] / Ian: Mmmm... Gravy... / {{title text: anthony + drunk girl with air gun}} / [[Anthony is in the shadows, eyeing off Drunk girl with air gun]] / Drunk girl with air gun: Air guns are fun. And no one gets hurt! / {{title text: ian + nice Mac Hall readers}} / [[Ian holding CD in paper case, with raised eye brows in amazement]] / nice Mac Hall reader: Here, that program will let you burn files off your HD even if your OS is busted. / Ian: Oooo.. / {{title text: anthony + dumb-ass mage}} / [[Anthony punches dumb-ass mage in face]] / dumb-ass mage: I cast a maximized fireball on Anthony! / <<-BIF->> / <> / {{title text: ian + Unreal Tournament Contest}} / [[Man in Star-Trek costume is holding a copy of UT:2004]] / Man in Star-Trek costume: Congrats. Here's the grand prize: A copy of Unreal Tournament 2004. / Ian: EEEEE! / [[Anthony and Ian are playing X-Box, both looking happy]] / Anthony: Best Marcon ever. / Ian: Indeed.
http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-06-02
 

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