You're browsing the archives of Kick in the Head.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Bathroom Stall Magazine [[Dude sits in bathroom stall]] / Dude: [[thinking]] Aw shoot, someone got in the stall next to me. / Dude: [[thinking]] All right, I’ll just wait this one out and go when he’s gone. / <> / Dude: [[thinking]] Oh no! He brought a magazine! / {{bathroom, pee, poop}}
New Subway Service [[Dude sits on subway reading brochure]] / Arrow Box: New Subway Service Brochure / Dude: That can’t be right... / Dude: According to this, with the new subway service, I’ll have fewer transfers, and a much faster commute. / Dude: Maybe I read it wrong. / {{subway service, commute, brochure}}
Tech Support Lightning Round [[Dude sits at work computer]] / Smiley Guy #1: How do I save? / Dude: Hit “Apple-S” / Smiley Guy #2: How do I quit? / Dude: Hit “Apple-Q” / Smiley Guy #3: How do I eject my CD? / Dude: Click on it and hit “Apple-E” / Smiley Guy #4: I hate Macs... / Dude: Hit yourself / {{work, tech support,...
Windows Source Code Leak [[Dude sits at work computer laughing his ass off]] / Dude: HA! HA! HA! HAHAHA! / Dude: OOH, HOO-HOO HEE HAHA! / [[Smiley Guy sees Dude laughing]] / Dude: GYAHAHAHA HEE HA HO! / Smiley Guy: “Windows Source Code Leaks onto the Internet.” / IT HURTS! AH-HA-HA-HA!! / {{work, microsoft, windows source...
Photo - Union Square Shadow [[Dude walks outside in Union Square]] / {{photo, outdoors, night, union square, shadow}}
 
Photo - Subway Late Night [[Dude sits in side subway seat, sketchy guy behind him]] / {{photo, subway, late night}}
Valentine's Day Aftermath [[Dude walks out of store with shopping bag]] / Sign: 75% OFF ALL VALENTINE'S DAY CANDY!!! / {{valentine's day, shopping}}
Have a Good Day [[Dude passes homeless guy on street]] / Homeless Guy: Spare some change sir? / Homeless Guy: Thank you, thank you very much sir. / Homeless Guy: You have yourself a good night sir. / Dude: You too. / [[Dude feels guilty]] / {{homeless, panhandler, beggar}}
Anti-Piracy MPAA ad [[Dude sits in movie theater]] / Movie Stuntman: It’s essentially a bomb going off in the car... / Movie Stuntman: You know, you click a few buttons and download a movie off the internet that’s just not right... / Movie Stuntman: You’re taking money away from something people put time and effort into. / Dude:...
Confused Cashier [[Dude at cashier]] / <> / Cashier: Oh shoot, I just entered $40.00, you handed me $30.00, right? / Dude: Now who’s in a better position to answer that, the person who gave the money or the person currently holding it? / {{shopping, cashier}}
 
Friday [[Dude sleeps at work]] / Dude: zzzzzzzzzz... / Dude: zzzzzzzzzz... / [[Dude wakes up momentarily]] / Dude: IT’S FRIDAY! / Dude: zzzzzzzzzz... / {{work, sleeping, lazy, friday}}
Photo - Park Slope Building [[Dude walks past orange-ish building in Park Slope]] / {{photo, park slope, spring, outdoors, day}}
Photo - Queens Tree Path [[Dude walks down path of trees in Winter]] / {{photo, queens, trees, outdoors, day}}
Parental Phone Tech Support [[Dude sits at work computer with cell phone]] / Dude: Hi mom, I proofread that document you emailed to me. / Dude: What do you mean it’s not the right version? I sent it to you just now! / Dude: Wait, you edited a version your friend sent you, then forwarded me the original? / Dude: No! You have...
Old Deli Sushi [[Dude stands at deli cashier, other customer holds sushi]] / Smiley Guy: When is this sushi 50% off? / Deli Worker: It’s not going to be 50% off. / Smiley Guy: Aw come on, you gotta get rid of it by closing time. / Deli Worker: Sorry sir, I’m not offering a discount. / Smiley Guy: Is it fifteen...
 
Major Subway Service Changes [[Dude walks on subway platform]] / [[Train pulls into station]] / Dude: This new subway service is so great / [[Dude sits in subway]] / Dude: Not only do I have to transfer, but the travel time is shorter! / [[Dude walks on platform]] / Dude: Though that saved time is completely negated by the...
Tech Support Dream [[Dude sleeping in bed]] / Dude: No no, you can’t go back to your Photoshop history once you quit the program... / Dude: No, just click and drag to copy, you don’t have to open every individual file in Photoshop and then “save as...” in your disk... / <> / Dude: Figures that the day...
Movie Theater - The Passion of the Christ [[Dude sits in movie theater]] / Smiley Guy: Wait a second, this isn't in English? / Smiley Guy: What language is that? Is the entire movie going to be in subtitles? / Smiley Guy: Maybe this scene will be in English... / Smiley Guy: No, this is subtitled too.. / {{movie theater, mel gibson, passion...
Photo - Queens Shovel Graffiti [[Dude walks on sidewalk past graffiti of gardening shovel]] / {{photo, queens, graffiti, day, outdoors}}
Photo - Queens Park [[Dude stands in Queens Park, fall colors]] / {{photo, queens, park, outdoors, day}}
 
Academy Awards 2004 [[Dude lies dead tired on bed]] / Dude: Oh god how long was that? It’s not even Sunday anymore. / Dude: You know, if I had a chance to run the Oscars... / [[Dude wears tie standing on stage]] / Dude: Hello and welcome to the 76th Annual Academy Awards / Dude: And the Oscars go to... / Dude: Lord...
Cell Phone Broken [[Dude sits in park with cell phone]] / Dude: Aw crap, my phone’s busted. / Dude: Now the question is do I go to a random cell phone store? Or the store of my service provider? / Dude: Maybe my service provider, because they’ll be less concerned about trying to screw me over. / Dude: AH! HA! HA HA!...
Verizon Cell Phone "Support" [[Dude stands at counter of Verizon store]] / Verizon Worker: All right, you’re past warranty on your phone,so you have two options: / Verizon Worker: Either do an early upgrade or get the same phone for $50 / Dude: You mean, get an early upgrade AND get a new phone / Verizon Worker: Well, yes...but...
New Verizon Phone [[Dude leaves Verizon store]] / Dude: Finally got my new phone! My numbers are all here and everything! / <> / Dude: And look! My first call! / Dude: Hello? / Phone: Hey Matt what's up? / Dude: Matt? Dude you got the wrong number. / <> / Dude: Hello?? I already told...
Walking Behind Smokers [[Dude walks on sidewalk, wind blows]] / Dude: [[thinking]] Damn it's windy outside today. / Dude: [[thinking]] Wow, this guy actually walks at the same speed as I do. / Dude: [[thinking]] This is great, this almost never happens. / [[Guy in front of him pulls out cigarette]] / Dude: [[thinking]]...
 
Photo - Queens view of Manhattan [[Dude stands at fence looking over water at Manhattan]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, Queens, skyline}}
Photo - Queens Park 2 [[Dude walks down road by Queens park]] / {{photo, outdoors, daytime, queens, park}}
Weather Forecast [[Dude sits at work computer]] / Dude: Hmmm, let’s see what the weather has in store. / Dude: Mix of rain and snow this afternoon to late evening. / Dude: Temperature in the 40s... / Dude: Well, that’s great except that when there’s precipitation and it’s above freezing it’s just called RAIN! / {{work...
Return Policy Limit [[Dude stands at Tower Records cashier]] / Smiley Guy: What do you mean I can’t return this? / Tower Records Worker: Sir, this item is discontinued. / Smiley Guy: I don’t get it, I bought this here. / Tower Records Worker: It’s no longer in our system so we can’t take this back. / Smiley Guy: Don’t...
THE 20!! [[Dude sits in movie theater]] / Announcer: You just saw “THE 20!!” / Announcer: If you missed any of “THE 20” come to the theater earlier! / Announcer: And now our feature presentation. / Dude: I just realized I don’t remember what I came here to see. / {{The 20, The Twenty, movie theater, united...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 >>