You're browsing the archives of Kick in the Head.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Doing Laundry Sucks [[Dude carrying his laundry]] / Dude: Man, doing laundry sucks. / [[Dude looks at camera]] / Dude: I mean, what's laundry? Never done laundry before in my entire life, don't even know the meaning of the word. If I knew what laundry was then that would mean I wore clothes. Oh shoot, I said clothes....
The Luxury of Choice [[Supermarket]] / Dude: All right, I need to get hamburger buns and some orange juice. / Dude: Low carb, carb counting, low carb points, carb watch, No-carb, 2 carb points... / Dude: Low acid, orange banana, strawberry peach banana, 1/2 fat calcium Vitamin D, Healthy heart, Orange Kiwi Passion... / Dude:...
What Else Do You Use 14 Screens For? [[Dude walking on sidewalk]] / Dude: I should go see a movie, there's bound to be something worth seeing. / Movie Theater Worker: Riddick, Day After Tomorrow, Harry Potter, and Shrek 2. / [[Dude glances at marquee]] / Dude: Good to see that you guys take full advantage of having 14 screens. / {{movie...
Photo - iPod Mini Display [[Dude gawks at iPod Mini display at Apple Store SoHo]] / {{photo, apple store, ipod mini}}
Photo - Subway Door Reflection [[Dude is reflected in window of Subway door]] / {{photo, subway, reflection}}
'Cause You Know, the Breeze is Better in There [[Dude stands outside of Thai Food Restaurant]] / [[The wind is blowing]] / Sign: The Garden is open. Come in and enjoy the breeze! / {{thai food, wind, weather}}
Carbohydrates [[Dude gets approached by survey taker]] / Smiley Guy: Hi, I'm conducting a survey. Could you tell me what a carbohydrate is? / Dude: Well, carbohydrates provide the body with energy. The simplest being glucose which is in sugary foods. But then there are starches which are complex carbs... / Dude:...
Street Poop [[Dude waiting to cross street]] / Dude: POOP!? / Dude: Oh god, oh god, gotta find some grass or some sand or something. / Dude: ....... / Dude: Where the hell am I gonna find sand or grass on the street in Manhattan??? / [[Dude runs away]] / Dude: AAARRGGHH!!!! / {{sidewalk, poop}}
That's a Lotta Joules Yo [[Dude stands by large stack of air conditioners in store]] / Salesperson: Can I help you sir? / Dude: I'm trying to figure out which a/c to get. / Salesperson: Well this here one has over 7000 BTUs! / Salesperson: That's a lot of BTUs, yo. / Dude: Does that sales pitch actually work on people? / {{air...
Subway Blessing in Disguise [[Subway station turnstiles]] / Dude: Aw crap! I can hear the train coming in! / [[Arriving at train]] / Dude: Phew! It's not a B train. / [[Train pulls away]] / <> / Announcement: Once again, there is no B train service until Monday / {{subway, late, Q, B, service change}}
Photo - Prince Street Subway Station 3 [[Dude walks down stairway of subway station at Prince Street, looks at booth attendant]] / {{photo, subway, booth}}
Photo - Cooper Union Speeding Bus [[Dude stands on corner of Cooper Union, bus zooms past, speed trails]] / {{photo, cooper union, night, outdoors, time lapse}}
You know you wanna [[Dude stands at bus stop]] / Dude: Wanna Fanta? Don't you wanna, wanna Fanta? / Dude: Wanna Fanta? Don't you wanna wanna Fanta? / Dude: ...... / Dude: NOOOOOO!!!!! / {{bus stop, sidewalk, song, Fanta}}
Kitchen Bulb [[Dude stands under bulb in kitchen]] / Dude, I've just realized I've lived here for over a year and never had to replace my kitchen light bulb. / {{home, apartment, kitchen, light bulb}}
'Cause you know, kids got really strong legs [[Mom and child enter subway car]] / Dude: Would you like to take my seat? / Mom: Oh, thank you that's so nice! / [[Adult takes seat leaving child to stand]] / Dude: Give it one more try. Get it wrong this time and I take the seat back. / {{subway, kid, child, giving up seat}}
Math is Hard [[Supermarket]] / Dude: Orange Juice, 64 fluid ounces, or 2 quarts, or 1.89 Liters... / Dude: Diet Coke, 50.7 fluid ounces, 1 quart and 18.7 ounces, or 1.5 Liters... / Dude: Ginger Ale, 2.1 quarts or 2 Liters... / Dude: My elementary school teacher was wrong. Math IS useless. / {{supermarket, food,...
Ten Hai-ya-ya and NINE Hai-ya-ya! [[Dude has neutral expression]] / [[Dude frowns]] / [[Dude smiles]] / [[Dude looks angry]] / [[Dude grins]] / Dude: That's enough exercise for one day. / {{blank comic, emotion, late night, lazy}}
Photo - West Side Fountain [[Dude stands by water fountain at West Side Highway]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, west side highway, water fountain}}
Photo - Fire Escape Sunset [[Dude stands on his fire escape looking at the sun set]] / {{photo, outdoors, sunset, fire escape}}
Movie Theater - Fahrenheit 9/11 Line [[Dude gets to end of line for "Fahrenheit 9/11"]] / Dude: All right the line's not too long! / Dude: I was worried I came too late to get a good seat. / Dude: But how come the line's here and the theater's behind us? / Smiley Guy: It wraps around in the hallway. / Dude: huh? / [[Diagram indicating...
Behind the Counter Baby Formula [[Dude pays for items at pharmacy]] / Cashier: That comes to $8.68. / Dude: Why does baby formula have to be stored behind the counter? / {{pharmacy, shopping, baby formula}}
Welding Advertisement [[Dude walks past construction area]] / [[Dude sees ad on construction site for "Weir Welding"]] / [[Dude looks up at skeletal building]] / Dude: As if anyone can tell quality welding from bad welding by looking at a building construction. / {{construction, welding}}
Science of Spider-Man [[Dude reads comics next to two other guys in the store]] / Smiley Guy #1: You know the dumb thing about Spider-Man 2? How the hell can Doctor Octopus lift an entire car with his tentacles? / Smiley Guy #2: Seriously, his spinal cord wouldn’t have the support necessary to lift it! / Dude: If you’re...
Deodorant Names [[Dude looks at pharmacy shelf]] / Dude: Let's see...Ah-hah! Here's the deodorant. / Dude: Cool rush, extreme blast, fresh, exhilarate... / [[Dude ponders]] / Dude: Must be the same guys that name chewing gum flavors. / {{deodorant, chewing gum, pharmacy, shopping}}
Photo - West Side Sculpture [[Dude looks through metal fruit shaped sculpture by West Side Highway]] / {{sculpture, west side highway, day, outdoors}}
Photo - Bleecker Street [[Dude walks past red building on Bleecker Street]] / {{photo, bleecker street, outdoors, day}}
I, Robot Promotion [[Dude walks past guy with box on street]] / Promoter: Hello sir, would you like a free "I, Robot" keychain? / Dude: Hmmm, interesting advertising. It has a clock and a countdown to when the movie comes out. / <> / Dude: ...which is rendered useless because the clock isn't set to the right...
Crazy Humidity [[Dude swims through water witih fish]] / [[Dude swims down to bus stop where a guy is waiting]] / [[Dude is actually standing next to the bus stop]] / Dude: Stupid humidity. / {{weather, humidity, summer, bus stop}}
New York Post Richard Gephardt error [[Dude sits at work computer, New York Post on his desk]] / Dude: “The New York Post became an object of ridicule...when its front-page report that Richard Gephardt would be running mate of John Kerry.” / Dude: “Copies of the paper are already available on eBay for up to fifty dollars” / Dude: “The...
Starbucks Hot Chocolate [[Dude at Starbucks]] / Dude: I'll have a tall hot chocolate please. / Starbucks Worker: Here you go. / Dude: I think you forgot the chocolate, or was I supposed to bring my own? / {{starbucks, hot chocolate, water}}

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 >>