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Slow Walker Turns Around [[Dude walks behind slow walker]] / Dude: Dear god, why is it I always manage to end up behind New Yorkers who walk slowly?? / Dude: Oh my god, this is almost as bad as the time I was at Disneyland with my mom and all her old friends. / [[Dude makes faces]] / Dude: duuuuuuhh...I walk like a 75-year-old...
New Astor Place Building [[Dude stands on ledge of new shiny building at Astor Place]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, skyscrapers, astor place}}
Photo - Chinatown Rooftop [[Dude stands on top of building at Canal street and Broadway]] / {{photo, night, outdoors, canal street, broadway}}
Greedy Panhandler [[Dude walks past panhandler]] / Panhandler: Hey buddy, spare a dollar so I can get subway fare? / Dude, I didn’t give a QUARTER to the one-legged Vietnam vet who had two eye patches, a voice box, metal plate in his ass, who had to leave his house because it was gutted by a fire, making him and his...
iPod Nano [[Dude inches towards iPod Nano at Apple Store]] / <> / [[Dude runs off like a maniac]] / Apple Store Employee: HEY! We just replaced that one! / {{Apple Store, ipod nano, mac, macintosh}}
 
Two Dollar ATM Fees [[Dude walks to M&T ATM]] / [[Dude using ATM]] / <> / Mugger: All right buddy. Hand over your money! / Mugger: Holy crap! $2 fee? Are you kidding me? I’m never going to use THESE ATMs. / Mugger: Sorry dude, you were already getting robbed. / {{bank, ATM fees, mugger, violence}}
Movie Theater - History of Violence [[Dude sits in movie theater next to a guy stoned out of his mind, pot smoke wafts in the air]] / Stoner: HAH! Door! / Stoner: Haha! That’s great, he’s walking! / Stoner: Haha! Person! Oh my god! / Stoner: Oh my god why is everything funny? / <> / [[Dude leaves theater playing A History of...
Mail Recycling [[Dude checks his mail]] / Dude: All right mailbox what disappointments do you hold for me today? / Dude: Hmmm, wannabe clandestine credit card info disguised as non-descript envelope... / Dude: Bureau of Waste Prevention, Reuse and Recycling. / [[Dude tosses his mail in trash]] / {{mail, recycling,...
Photo - Union Square stairs, Downtown N Q R W [[Dude sits sleeping on stairs of Union Square station]] / {{photo, union square, subway, late night, sleep}}
Photo - Pigeon Poop [[Dude stands by pigeon roost in West Village]] / Dude: EW! EW! EW! So much pigeon poop! / {{photo, pigeon poop, west village, outdoors, day}}
 
Subway Public Display of Affection [[Annoying couple get onto subway car]] / [[Girl sits on guy's lap]] / <> / [[Girl fawns over boyfriend]] / [[Annoying couple looks off frame]] / Dude: BAAARRFFF!!! / {{subway, public display of affection, PDA, couple, puke}}
Fat mouse has had enough, almost [[Dude looks down at upside-down mouse over by mouse hole]] / Dude: Hey. / Mouse: Hey. / Dude: Wha’tcha doing? / Mouse: Food coma, why did you have to leave out that bag of trash? / [[Dude reaches off frame]] / Mouse: Hey, think you could roll me over to that hole? / Dude: Oh yeah, sure. / [[Dude...
Reason for no girlfriend [[Dude]] / Dude: Some of those amongst you have asked why I don’t have a girlfriend or love interest. / Girl #1: Dude: THIS! THIS IS WHY! / Girl #2: OMG LOL! / Girl #3: Movies? I don’t watch that stuff. / Girl #4: Is that stuff like cartoons? / Girl #5: Like, OMG! / Nerd Girl: I only watch stuff...
Black licorice subway eater [[Dude sits on subway, guy next to him eats black licorice]] / Dude: Wow, this guy’s actually eating black licorice? / Dude: How much does he even have in there? / Dude: Oh geez, now he’s double fisting it. / Dude: Holy crap, how long can this go on for? / Dude: Okay, that’s it, I’m about to puke....
Not Friday [[Dude, bags under his eyes]] / Dude: It’s not Friday, it shouldn’t be Friday right now. / Dude: Because yesterday should’ve been Friday, which means today should be Saturday. / Dude: But it’s not Saturday today,it’s wrong that it’s not Saturday, fix it god dammit! / {{blank comic, lazy, late night,...
 
Photo - Please Graffiti train [[Dude sits on subway, sees "no leaning sign" now says "Please Graffiti train."]] / {{photo, subway, graffiti}}
Photo - Grand Army Plaza Subway Stop [[Dude runs from Grand Army Plaza Subway Stop at night]] / {{photo, blur, subway, park slope, night, outdoors}}
Birthday 2005 [[Dude stands next to friend]] / Friend: Hey man, when’s your birthday? / Dude: Today. / Friend: WHAT? Why the hell didn’t you tell anyone? / Dude: It never came up. / Friend: Well geez, are you even doing anything? / Dude: No. / Friend: Why the hell not??? / Dude: I hate having to plan things...
Sweating for Number Two [[Dude stands in hallway sweating]] / Smiley Guy: Man, you’re really sweating, did you run up the stairs? / Dude: Uh yeah. Stairs, that’s what it was. / [[Dude looks back at men's restroom]] / Dude: Or it took me half an hour to go number two. / {{bathroom, poop, number two}}
Movie Theater - Madagascar short film [[Dude walks to movie theater playing WALLACE & GROMIT THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT]] / [[Dude sits in movie theater]] / Announcer: And now a short film starring the penguins from the hit film “Madagascar!” / Dude: Excuse me? What the hell is this crap doing before this movie? / Dude: Maybe they...
 
Perils of Pus Infection [[Dude sits in the subway, a guy next to him is reading a book]] / Dude: Hmmm, I wonder whatthat guy’s reading. / Dude: “The Perils of Pus Infection??” / Dude: Oh geez, I’m going to be seeing/tasting that for the entire rest of the trip. / {{subway, book, reading, taste, pus}}
Food smells of New York [[Dude walks on sidewalk, his stomach growls]] / Dude: Man I’m really hungry, think I’ll go get a burger. / Dude: Mmmmm, actually that pizza smells really good maybe I’ll go there instead. / Dude: No wait, that Indian food smells really good too. Hold on, that bread must be freshly baked, maybe I’ll...
Photo - Washington Square Arch [[Dude sits atop Washington Square Arch]] / {{photo, washington square park arch, night, outdoors}}
Photo - Steve Madden painted advertisement [[Dude sits impossibly atop hand of playing card woman holding shoe]] / {{photo, houston, steve madden, shoes}}
Washington Square Park Wares [[Dude walks by Washington Square Park Arch]] / [[Dude walks by dealer]] / Dealer: hey man smoke? smoke? / Dealer: Hey man, weed? weed? weed? / Dude: Look, I- / Cop: HEY! / Cop: All right what’s going on here? / Dude: Nothing! Nothing! I was just- / Cop: Yeah I know what you were doing, but this...
 
Bundling up for Winter [[Dude locks up at his apartment]] / I love this time of the year. I can finally bundle up but I don’t have to wear any big heavy coats yet. / [[Dude walks on sidewalk]] / I‘ll put on my light scarf for starters... / And I also brought a small hat to wear. / [[Dude walks to subway entrance]] / Fall’s...
Sharing a bathroom 10/19 [[Dude walks to men's restroom]] / [[Dude sits in bathroom stall]] / Dude: Aw shoot, this guy has a magazine, there’s no telling how long he’s going to be here for. / Dude: It’s okay, I can do this. I can be stealthy it’s not so bad. / Dude: Aw shoot no I can’t. This is gonna take forever. / Dude:...
New fragrance of shampoo [[Dude stands in shampoo aisle of store]] / Dude: All right, c’mon. It’s gotta be somewhere. / Dude: A-HAH! Here it is! / Dude: “All new fragrance” / Dude: Great, just when I find a shampoo with a non-offending smell that doesn’tmake my skin break out. / {{shampoo, shopping}}
Earthlink high speed internet [[Dude checks mail]] / Mail: “Have you considered upgrading to a high-speed Internet connection but didn’t know where to start?” / Mail: “At Earthlink®, we believe the most powerful technology should be easy to install and affordable to use.” / Mail: “It’s now up to 100X faster than regular dialup-based...
Photo - Park Slope bench [[Dude sits on bench in Park Slope at night]] / {{photo, park slope, night, outdoors}}
 

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