You're browsing the archives of Kick in the Head.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Canal Street Q's Unique Attributes [[Dude stands on Canal Street Q subway platform]] / Dude: Ahh, the Canal St Q Subway Station... / Dude: All the terrible smells of New York neatly packed into one space. / {{subway, canal street, Q, Chinatown, smell, stench}}
Subway Preachers [[Dude sits alone in subway car]] / [[Person hands flier to Dude]] / [[Flier says "The Gospel of Jesus Christ to the People of New York City]] / [[Dude examines flier]] / [[Dude tosses flier]] / Dude: My English teachers always told me that it was bad writing to use mostly quotes from other soruces...
Radio Shack Shark [[Dude in Radio Shack talking to worker]] / Dude: Hi, I need some 3-pin to 2-pin plug adapters. / Radio Shack Worker: Need anything else while you're here? New cell phone? TV? / [[Dude looks at worker]] / Dude: Just gimme the damn adapters before I change my mind. / {{shopping, radio shack, electronics,...
Just a few more minutes... [[Dude grabs Playstation 2 controller]] / Dude: All right, just 30 min of video games, then I have the rest of the day to be productive. / [[Clock behind dude reads 10:00 am]] / Dude: All right, now that that's done. / [[Clock now reads 7:00 pm]] / [[Dude ponders a moment]] / [[Dude looks at clock]] / Dude:...
Temp Agency Tests [[Temp Agency]] / [[Dude stands by computer inside Temp Agency]] / Temp Agency Worker: Now I'm going to give you a test on basic office skills. / Temp Agency Worker: Good luck. / Computer: Basic Math - 28 X 65 = ? / Dude: Can I borrow a calculator? / Temp Agency Worker: Sorry sir, calculators aren't...
 
Apartment Construction [[Dude sleeps soundly]] / [[Dude wakes up]] / <> / <> / <> / <> / [[Dude looks at floor where sounds are coming from]] / <> / <> / [[Drill bit comes through floor]] / <> / <http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-07-02
Sudden Unexpected Call [[Dude mopes at window]] / [[Dude looks at cell phone]] / Phone: Call from - 212-555-2864 / Dude: OH MY GOD! It's someone I don't know, it must be a job interview!! / Dude: GAH! I need something to write with! / Dude: haHA! Found a pen! / Dude: Okay, calm down. / Dude: Hello? / Phone: Hi! Are...
Low Budget July 4th [[Dude looks around]] / Dude: Due to the economic slump, and budget cut, there will be no fireworks in this comic today. / Dude: But have a happy July 4th anyway. / {{blank comic, lazy, late night, holiday, July 4th}}
Beware the Asterisk With No Fine Print [[Bank]] / Sign: "Totally" free* Checking! / [[Dude walks up to bank, notices sign]] / Dude: Now there's a suspicious looking sign if I ever saw one. / {{bank, fine print, quotes, footnote, suspicious}}
Alternate Cooling Methods [[Dude lies down on deli ice cream freezer case]] / [[Deli worker notices Dude]] / Deli Worker: Uh, sir? / Deli Worker: SIR! / Deli Worker: I know it's hot outside sir, but if you're not going to buy any ice cream you'll have to leave. / Dude: You're no fun. / {{deli, weather, heat, air conditioning,...
 
Best Exterminator Ever [[Exterminator at Dude's door]] / Exterminator: Hi, you call for an exterminator? / Dude: In here. / <> / Exterminator: All right, you're all set. / Dude: That's all you're going to do? Spray some stuff? / Dude: Heck, I could've just bought some of that stuff and sprayed it myself. / {{exterminator,...
Laws of the Stret #1 [[Dude walks down sidewalk]] / Smiley Guy: Hi, can I ask you a question? / Dude: No. / {{Any question worth helping someone out with won't be preceded by "Can I ask you a question?" It'll be asked outright.}} / {{sidwalk, panhandler, beggar}}
Hands Free Cell Phone [[Dude looks at guy wearing hands free set, holding mouthpiece in one hand and phone in the other]] / {{cell phone, bus stop}}
Radio Shack Still Sucks [[Dude walks past Radio Shack]] / Sign: If we don't tell you about our great deals on cell phone accessories with your purchase we'll buy you a soda! / [[Radio Shack Worker flips sign on door]] / Dude: Hey, your sign is broken. / Radio Shack Worker: Oh? What's wrong with it? / Dude: Why would I...
I wouldn't say I "missed" the train [[Dude sits on subway platform bench]] / [[Dude looks over to guy out of breath]] / Tired Guy: Whew, I just rain here, tell me I didn't just miss the train. / Dude: You didn't just miss the train. / Tired Guy: Oh, what a relief. / [[Tired Guy smiles]] / [[Tired Guy has realization]] / Tired Guy:...
 
No laundry [[Dude has big goofy smile]] / Dude: I'm just happy because I know I never have to do laundry. / {{blank comic, late night, lazy, laundry, self referential, meta}}
Directions to Ground Zero [[Dude sees tourist on subway platform]] / Tourist: Excuse me, but how do I get to Ground Zero? / Dude: What you want to do is take this Bronx bound 2-3 train to the very last stop and then you'll be there. / Tourist: Gee thanks! / Dude: Don't mention it. / {{subway, tourist, directions, ground...
Getting a seat at Canal St. [[Dude sits in subway]] / Dude: The secret to getting a seat when passing through Canal st. is just to sit next to a Chinese person. / Smiley Guy: How do you know if they're Chinese? / [[Wide shot reveals everyone looks alike]] / Dude: They speak Chinese. / {{subway, chinatown, chinese, seat, self...
Macworld Creative Pro Expo 2003 [[Dude stands by guy sitting at an iMac]] / Dude: Excuse me. I'm here for the Macworld Creative Pro Expo / Macworld Creative Pro: Yup, that's me. / Dude: Excuse me? / Macworld Creative Pro: I'm the Macworld Creative Pro. / Dude: They were right, it is smaller this year. / {{apple, macintosh, imac,...
A Brief History of Shorts Caption: Before / [[Dude wearing shorts above the knee]] / Caption: Now / [[Dude wears shorts on the knee]] / Caption: Future / [[Dude wears pants]] / {{clothes, shorts, pants}}
 
Top Five Reasons not to take a subway seat [[5. Someone has their stuff in the seat.]] / [[4. B.O.]] / [[3. Any type of liquid, clear or otherwise is in the seat]] / [[2. Passengers have strategically taken up enough of the seat to make it a nuisance]] / [[1. Taking the seat requires you to sit next to someone.]] / {{subway, b.o., body odor,...
Haircut, or not [[Dude examines his hair]] / Dude: I wonder if I should get a haircut / [[Dude imagines himself with tiny shavings of hair, it looks terrible]] / Dude: Maybe not. / {{haircut, self referential, meta}}
Avoiding the RIAA [[Dude stands at bus stop listening to They Might be Giants CD "No!" / Smiley Guy: Say, what's that you're listening to? / Dude: It's the new "They Might be Giants" kids' album. / Smiley Guy: Oh I've heard about that! Can I hear a bit? / Dude: Gosh, you know, I'd love to share... / Dude: ...but...
Real News is Boring [[Dude stands at news stand]] / Dude: You know, I don't read the news often, I should. / Dude: One New York Times please. / [[Dude reads paper]] / Dude: Can I get a refund? I just remembered I hate reading the news. / {{news, current events, newspaper, New York Times}}
Last piece of bread [[Dude reaches into refrigerator]] / Dude: Man, I could really go for a sandwich, let's see if I have any bread left. / Dude: Oh great, it looks like I hav a few le... / Dude: ..... / Dude: Why...? / Dude: WHY MUST THERE ALWAYS BE AN EXTRA PIECE LEFTOVER?? / [[Dude looks angrily at spare piece...
 
Ketchup Juice [[Dude sits about to eat a cheeseburger]] / Ahh, nothing like a good 'ole homemade cheeseburger. / With a healthy dose of ketchup.. / <> / [[Dude tries to pour ketchup]] / C'monalready! / OH NO! KETCHUP JUICE! NOOOO!! / Now it's all soggy! / [[Dude tosses ketchup bottle]] / Poop / <> / {{cheeseburger,...
Subway Announcer Dyslexia [[Dude stands on subway platform]] / Announcer #1: Attention Attention! there is a Brooklyn bound 6 train 2 stops away! / Announcer #1: Attention! There's a Brooklyn bound 6 train 3 stops away! / Announcer #1: ...4 stops away... / Announcer #2: You're supposed to be saying when the train is coming...
New York Summer Temperaturees [[Dude stands at bus stop]] / Caption: Outside - 85 Degrees Fahrenheit / Caption: Subway Platform - 90 Degrees Fahrenheit / Caption: Subway Car - 70 Degrees Fahrenheit / Caption: Movie Theater - 40 Degrees Fahrenheit / {{bus stop, subway, movie theater, temperature, heat, weather, summer, air conditioning,...
No wonder there's never any hot water Dude: Man, it's not, I could use a cold shower. / [[Dude in shower turning on cold water knob]] / [[Boiling hot water coming streaming out]] / Dude: OW! OW! %$#@ HOT!!! / Dude: Well, that explains a lot / {{shower, hot water}}
No better motivator [[Dude stands in window moping]] / Dude: Nothing helps me get going in the morning quite like 90 degree weater and humidity to match. / {{summer, lazy, heat, weather}}
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 >>