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Photo - Late night snack [[Dude groggily reaches into refrigerator]] / {{photo, home, refrigerator, late night}}
Toilet Paper [[Dude stands in supermarket looking at toilet paper aisle]] / <> / Dude: AH HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! / [[toilet paper, supermarket]]
Declenching in the shower [[Dude stands in shower]] / Dude: Man, why do I feel so tense? I guess somehow I’m just tense by default, weird. / Dude: This is silly, I should just relax. My body shouldn’t be tense naturally. / Dude: Just relax....... Relaaaaaxx.......... / Dude: AAHH!! NOW I GOTTA PEE! TOO RELAXED TOO RELAXED! / Dude:...
Back off buddy [[Dude stands on subway platform]] / Pickup Guy: Hey baby, so where you headed? / Chick: My herpes support group. / Pickup Guy: Whoa!? No way! You’re putting me on, right? / Dude: Yeah she actually is. / Dude: It’s the genital warts one today right honey? / Chick: No no, that’s my Monday right. / Dude:...
Friendster [[Dude sits at work computer]] / Dude: Man I’m so bored. / Dude: Times like this I wonder what I’m doing with my life. / Dude: Hold on a sec, I know what will cheer me up. / Dude: I‘ll check Friendster to see how many of the people who annoyed the piss out of me back in high school never left my...
 
East Village Haunted House [[Dude stands outside of East Village Haunted House church]] / Smiley Guy: This haunted house is really famous. It’s supposed to be REALLY SCARY. / Smiley Guy: It has 13 rooms and each room is themed to be a different nightmare!!! / [[Dude watches guy at sink pulling teeth with pilers]] / Guy at...
The Quad [[Dude stands at non-descript wall of Quad cinema]] / {{photo comic, movie theater, the Quad}}
Photo - Sleeping on sofabed at home [[Dude sleeps on sofa bed and Alphonse Full Metal Alchemist pillow, TV illuminates scene]] / {{photo comic, TV, television, sleep}}
Halloween 2005 [[Smiley guy stands in subway looking at unusually large subway service change sign]] / [[Sign reads: Trains not running between 59th street and Coney Island. 12:01 AM to 12:00 AM every day Oct 31]] / Smiley Guy: Aw geez, how the hell can they have service changes on Halloween??? / Smiley Guy: I can’t...
Hi and welcome to Best Buy [[Dude walks towards Best Buy]] / <> / Best Buy employee: HI WELCOME TO BEST BUY HOW CAN I HELP YOU??? / [[Best Buy employee drags Dude to DVD section]] / Best Buy employee: YOU NEED DVDS? WE GOT DVDS ALL AT LOW PRICES! / [[Best Buy employee hands Dude his receipt]] / Best Buy employee: I...
 
Movie Theater - guy orders Chinese [[Dude sits in movie theater, one guy with cell phone next to him]] / Cell phone guy: Hello? Yeah no, the / movie hasn’t started yet. / Cell phone guy: No no, I’ll have the rice combo, no onions with chicken teriyaki and also beef teriyaki. / Cell phone guy: Here’s my credit number, no onions in the...
Getting off junk mail list, for voting [[Dude checks mail]] / [[Dude on cell phone]] / Dude: Hi, I’d like to be taken off of your mailing list please. / Phone: Excuse me? / Dude: Yeah, I’ve just been getting too much junk mail lately, and it’s getting annoying. / Phone: Sir, this is for voter registration. / Dude: Yeah, I want out. / {{mail,...
Planes, trains and smiling whale [[Dude rides turtle over sea]] / [[Dude grabs onto eagle's claws flying through the air]] / [[Dude rides back of camel]] / [[Dude rides back of smiling whale]] / [[Dude arrives at home]] / [[Dude actually sitting on subway]] / Subway announcer: Then after transferring to the downtown, go uptown...
Photo - Middle of isolated road [[Dude stands on nondescript street in middle of nowhere with evergreen trees]] / Dude: WHERE THE HELL AM I????? / {{photo comic}}
Photo - Looking down from building [[Low angle view of Dude looks over edge of tall building]] / {{photo comic, broadway, construction site}}
 
Right now someone is reading this transcript [[Dude stands around doing nothing]] / Dude: Just think, 6 billion people in the world. Odds are that someone just farted a second ago. / {{blank comic, lazy, late night, fart, flatulence}}
Returning campaign mail [[Campaign person holding sign saying "Vote Peter Yossi" stands outside door]] / Sign: VOTE HERE! / Dude: Excuse me but you’re campaining for Peter Yossi? / Campaign person #1: Yup! Can I help you? / Dude: You can have your campaign mail back, I don’t need it. / Campaign person #1: Oh, thanks... / [[Campaign...
Sympathetic Supermarket customer [[Dude stands in line at supermarket]] / <> / Cashier: Oh sorry, this is actually $5.99 not $3.99 / Customer: Oh... / Cashier: Do you still want it? / Customer: Hmmm... / [[Dude facepalms]] / Customer: Hmmmmmmmm.... / Customer: Yeah I'll still take it. / [[Dude surprised]] / Dude:...
Oversleeping 11/10 [[Dude lies in bed]] / <> / Dude: Gotta remember to go get some cough drops before I get to work today. / Dude: Waitasec, I already woke up this morning saying that. / Dude: And that was when my alarm when off. But if that's true then what time is it now? / [[Dude checks time]] / Dude: GOD...
Not easy to be funny [[Dude stands doing nothing]] / Dude: What? / Dude: YOU BE FUNNY! SEE HOW EASY IT IS! / {{blank comic, lazy, late night}}
 
Photo - Broadway Building construction [[Dude stands on unfinished building construction site on Broadway in SoHo]]
Photo - Union Square subway bench, uptown N R Q W train [[Dude sits on Union Square uptown N R Q W train bench, looks over at guys next to him]] / {{photo, subway, union square}}
Hideous and ugly haircut [[Dude sits in hair dresser chair]] / Hair dresser: All right then what'll it be today? / Dude: I think today I want to try something different so I'll leave it to you. / Hair dresser: AHmmmmmmm... / [[Hair dresser cuts middle hair]] / <> / Dude: AAAAAAHHH!!! MY SEVENTH HAIR! / Dude: WAAAAAAAHHH!!...
Fascist reduced-fat market [[Dude stands in supermarket aisle]] / Dude: Excuse me, but where’s your puke flavored popcorn? / Stock Boy: It’s in aisle 3 next to the urine flavored Snapple. / Dude: Are you sure? Do you mean next to the milk water? / Stock Boy: No no, you’re thinking of aisle 4 which has the air flavored ice...
Zoned out at work [[Dude sits at work computer completely zoned out]] / Smiley Guy: Uh, excuse me? / Smiley Guy: Excuse me, I have a computer question. / Smiley Guy: Nevermind. / [[Dude runs from computer]] / Dude: COME BAAAAACK!! / [[Dude and smiley guy talk off frame]] / Dude: What's your computer problem? Is...
 
White cheddar fat [[Dude on sidewalk sniffs scent]] / Dude: Oh my god, is that...? / <> / Dude: No way, could it be...? / Dude: WHITE CHEDDAR POPCORN FAT!!! / [[Glowing bag of Smartfood popcorn]] / Dude: HUZZAH!!! / [[Smiley guy grabs last bag of Smartfood, dude surprised]] / [[Dude zooms out of store...
No contact lenses [[Dude stands in subway looking noticeably skewed, smiley guy looks confused]] / Smiley Guy: Hey, do you know what's going on here? / Dude: I ran out of contact lenses. / {{subway, contact lenses}}
Photo - The Cube is back [[Dude sits at newly restored Astor Place cube]] / {{photo, cube, astor place}}
Talking nerd to non-nerds [[Dude sits at work computer]] / Smiley Guy: Hey man, you have a good weekend? / Dude: OMG! I totally stayed up until 5:00 am Friday night to beat Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap! / Dude: But I still have 8 more Kinstone pieces, but I saved my game after Hyrule Castle turned dark so I’m afraid I screwed...
World of Warcraft trial edition [[Dude checks mail]] / Dude: All right mail, show me what you got. / Dude: Aw geez, why am I still getting copies of Maxim? / Dude: Look at all these stupid inserts, this is like half of the magazine! / Dude: World of Warcraft trial edition DVD? / [[Dude sits at work computer with noticeably shaggier...
 

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