You're browsing the archives of Kick in the Head.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Photo - Manhattan Skyline from Williamsburg [[Dude sits on stone area overlooking Manhattan skyline over water]] / {{photo, night, manhattan, skyline, water, outdoors}}
Free Fridge [[Dude on sidewalk reads a sign posted on a fridge]] / Dude: FREE FRIDGE / Dude: "It actually works! Icemaker and everything!" / [[Dude looks incredulous]] / [[Dude tries to budge fridge]] / <> / [[Dude with ease carries the fridge over one shoulder, humming to himself]] / [[Dude...
Lost Cell Phone in Cab [[Dude sits in cab]] / Driver: All right, that's $15 Dude. / Dude: Here you go. / <> / Dude: What's this? Someone left their cell phone? / [[Dude gets out of cab]] / Dude: Uh, hello? / Phone: WHO IS THIS?? / Dude: Uh, the guy who got in the cab after you. / Phone: Oh phew,...
Beggars CAN be Choosers [[Dude sees homeless guy on street]] / Homeless Guy: Spare change sir? / Homeless Guy: Thank you sir, God bless. / Homeless Guy: Hey what the hell? This is just paper! / Dude: No no, it's the address of a place you can get five pork dumplings for a dollar. / Homeless Guy: Well okay, but- / Dude:...
Lost Cell Phone Returned [[Dude on sidewalk]] / Dude: Here's your phone back. / Smiley Guy: Phew, thanks so much for this. / Smiley Guy: I hope it wasn't too inconvenient for you. / Dude: Oh no, no problem. / Dude: But I might've accidentally arranged for you to be getting back together with some girl named Lisa. / Dude:...
 
Gamer Parents [[Dude sits at work computer]] / Computer: Survey: "More Parents Playing Video Games" / Dude: Is this the crap they're passing off as news now?? / Dude: Hell I can come up with a more interesting sounding story from the same article. / Dude: "Gamers are having kids." / {{work computer, gamers, parents,...
Photo - Pseudo Taj Mahal [[Dude walks through park past Taj Mahal-like building]] / {{photo, brooklyn, outdoors, day, williamsburg, taj mahal}}
Photo - Williamsburg Graffiti Wall [[Dude walks past graffiti wall with large elevated subway track and some guy]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, williamsburg, graffiti}}
Mild Winter 2005 [[Dude stands in field on a sunny day]] / [[Dude looks up to sun]] / [[Dude looks around]] / Dude: Should I be worried that it's probably about twenty degrees warmer than it usually is this time of year? / {{winter, weather, sun, global warming, greenhouse effect}}
Half Gallon of Orange Juice [[Dude brings his breakfast food to the deli counter, a half gallon of orange juice and a paper bag]] / Dude: Cranberry Muffin / [[deli cashier suppresses a laugh]] / <> / Deli Worker #1: Hey buddy! Come over here you owe me money! / [[Dude is confused]] / [[Another deli worker shows up...
 
State of the Union 2006 [[Dude sits watching TV]] / Dude: NO! NO! NO! Our union! Talk about OUR Union! / George W. Bush: Iraq, liberty, terror, peace, justice, freedom, terrorists, liberty... / Dude: I don't live in Iraq! If you're giving a State of the Union give a State of the Union! / George W. Bush: Liberty, peace,...
Photo - Between Subway Cars [[Dude stands between subway cars, photo is taken from sidewalk down through subway grate]] / {{photo, subway, sidewalk, vent, grate}}
Sniffing vs. Blowing [[Dude stands on subway platform next to nasal guy]] / Nasal Guy: sniff / Nasal Guy: SNIIIIIIFFFFF!! gurgle / Nasal Guy: SSSNNNNIIIIIIFFFFFF!! *GURGLE* / [[Dude looks horrified]] / Nasal Guy: SNI- / [[Dude winds up his arm]] / [[Dude smacks nasal guy in the back of the head causing him to hoch...
Photo - Subway Vent [[Dude stands between subway cards, looking up through street subway vent]] / {{photo, night, subway}}
Photo - Nemo's No Good Brother [[Dude stands at South end of Washington Square Park, a plushie clown fish rests on a cart]] / Dude: Nemo's no good lost brother? / {{photo, night, outdoors, washington square park, finding nemo}}
 
Superbowl 2006 [[Dude walks down sidewalk]] / Dude: I was thinking, the Super Bowl is almost a great time for a guy like me to meet women... / Dude: Think about it, all the women who like football are in one place... / Dude: So I know where the ones who DON'T CARE about it are somewhere else. / Dude: Only problem...
Nerd Apartment Cleaning [[Dude stands in blank space]] / Dude: ALL RIGHT! TIME TO CLEAN THE APARTMENT! / [[Dude sits at home computer]] / Dude: Starting with my computer of course. / Dude: Geez, almost full. Good thing I have lots of DVDRs. / Caption: later... / Dude: Phew, freed up over 25GB!! / Dude: All right, I...
Umbrella Salesman Lecture [[Dude on sidewalk approaches umbrella vendor]] / Dude: I'll take a big umbrella please. / Umbrella Vendor: Ten dollars. / Umbrella Vendor: Be sure when opening it not to force it open, press the metal button first... / Umbrella Vendor: Don't open all the way to the top. Stop when it reaches the...
Building Inspection Certificate [[Dude checks his mail]] / Dude: Hmmm, no mail today, oh well. / [[Dude looks up at certificate above mailboxes" / Dude: "Building inspection certificate?" Never noticed this before. / Dude: When was the last date here? Uh-oh... / Dude: I must've been learning basic arithmetic when this inspector...
Cab From Williamsburg to Park Slope [[Dude stops cab driver]] / Dude: Hey do you know how to get to Park Slope from this part of Brooklyn? / Cab Driver: Yeah sure. / [[Cab driver takes off with Dude hanging in the wind clinging to the window frame]] / Dude: WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!!!! / [[Dude clings to the roof of the cab]] / Dude: THIIIIIISSSS...
 
Photo - Always Open [[Dude stands outside of a closed store]] / Sign: Open to the Public Always / Sign: We're Open! / {{photo, night, outdoors, store, false advertising}}
Photo - Fire Escape Graffiti [[Dude stands on bottom of a fire escape which has graffiti tags along the various stairs going up to the top]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, graffiti}}
2006 Blizzard Inconveniences [[Dude walks behind an old slow walking guy down a narrowly shoveled pathway]] / Dude: Dear God, if I walk behind this guy for much longer the snow will have melted. / {{weather, snow, blizzard, sidewalk, walking}}
Valentine's Day 2006 [[Dude stands at store counter]] / Store Clerk: 2 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice cream, 1 microwave Mac & Cheese meal, Entenmann's cookies, a box of tissues, bottle of wine and Sour Patch Kids. / Store Clerk: Will that be all? / Dude: Yup. / [[Dude leaves with items, store clerk looks sympathetically...
Snowstorm Report [[Dude stands in blank space on cell phone]] / Dude: Hi mom, what's up? / Dude: Huh? No, the subways are fine, getting to work has been no problem. Why do you ask? / Dude: Snow? What about it? / Dude: Yeah, that was this weekend. What, are they still talking about it? / {{cell phone, late night,...
 
Google's New Slogan [[Dude at news stand]] / Dude: I'll take a paper please / [[Dude reads newspaper]] / Headline: GOOGLE TURNS EVIL! / Caption: World: "F***" / Dude: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! / [[Dude wakes up]] / <> / [[Dude curls up under covers]] / {{newspaper, google, big brother, 1984, dream, fantasy, bed}...
Street Office Chairs [[Smiley guy walks down sidewalk, some office chairs sit on the side]] / [[Smiley guy looks at chairs]] / [[Smiley guy stops to ponder chairs]] / [[Smiley guy looks over, Dude is standing there too]] / Dude: I know, I've been here for ten minutes debating whether or not to take one too. / {{sidewalk,...
Photo - Snowstorm 2006 Aftermath [[Dude looks down at pitiful pile of snow]] / Dude: Wow, I could see this snow becoming a problem if it freezes over the weekend. / {{photo, broadway, snow, blizzard, night, outdoors}}
Photo - Chinatown Graffiti [[Dude looks at wall with English and Chinese graffiti]] / Dude: Obviously I can read the English, but I’m almost afraid to ask if the Chinese graffiti is not safe for work. / {{photo, outdoors, day, chinatown, graffiti}}
Washington Mutual ATM Fees [[Dude walks to Washington Mutual]] / [[Dude at ATM, a large line behind him]] / Dude: Ahhh Washington Mutual. / Dude: Sole provider of the lowest ATM fees around. / Dude: That is to say nothing... / Dude: ...MORE THAN $150???? / [[People in line behind look shocked]] / [[Dude and others run...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 >>