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Subway Humidity [[Dude walks through pouring rain]] / Dude: Ah Summer rain. / Dude: So refreshing and relaxing! / Dude: I LOVE YOU SUMMER RAIN! / [[Dude, in reality is in a hot and gross subway station]] / Dude: [[groggy]] If the humidity were just a couple percentage points lower imagine how much that would suck. / {{summer,...
I Am Legend In Jokes [[Dude at movie theater cashier]] / Dude: One for "I Am Legend" / [[Dude in theater, everyone is laughing]] / Will Smith: (in movie) 'morning Hank, I'm midway through the G's. / Crowd: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! / Oblivious guy: I don't get it, what's so funny? / Crowd: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! / Dude:...
Movie Sleeper [[Dude watches movie, guy to the left sleeps]] / [[Movie ends, guy in middle wakes up sleepy friend]] / Guy: Hey buddy, wake up! Let's go. / Sleepy Friend: Huh? What? / Sleepy Friend: YAWN / [[Dude walks out of theater playing I Am Legend, walks behind guy and sleepy friend]] / Sleepy friend: So...
Smoke Detector Inspection [[Dude reads notice from inside his apartment]] / Dude: Dear Tenants, this Wednesday we will be entering apartments to check that the smoke detectors are functioning properly. / [[Dude tosses notice away]] / Dude: WEDNESDAY??? / [[Dude at store, shaking fist at cashier over the counter]] / Dude:...
Bathroom Bag [[Dude sits in stall next to other guy in next stall]] / [[Other guy's stall flushes]] / <> / [[Dude flushes and guy exits his stall]] / <> / [[Dude exits stall with bag, guy looks back]] / Guy: What the hell do you have in that bag??? / Dude: Oh this? I was just bringing home some...
 
Happy Holidays Panhandler [[Dude walks by panhandler]] / Panhandler: Happy Holidays! Spare some change? / Dude: Well that all depends. / Dude: Does it make me look worse if I don't? / Dude: Or if I only do it once a year because that's when enough forces are are conspiring to make me feel guilty enough to spare it? / [[Dude...
Camera Broken [[Dude stands with broken camera]] / {{camera, broken}}
Christmas Wrapping Part 1 [[Dude stands by present all wrapped]] / Dude: There, all wrapped! / [[Dude smiles]] / Dude: Did I take the price tag off? / Dude: Yeah, I always like peeling labels, I must've done it. / [[Dude looks worriedly]] / [[Dude rips wrapping off]] / <http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2007-12-24
Christmas Wrapping Part 2 [[Dude has finished wrapping a present]] / Dude: All right! All wrapped with no price tag! / [[Dude looks happily at wrapped present]] / [[Dude rips paper off]] / <> / Dude: YES!!! A new video game!! / {{christmas wrapping, video...
After Christmas Shopping [[Dude lies in bed]] / Dude: Day after Christmas which means... / [[Dude jumps out of bed]] / Dude: I CAN USE THAT GIFT CARD I GOT WAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS! / [[Dude runs down sidewalk, cell phone rings]] / <> / Dude: Hello? Hi mom. A late Christmas present? / Dude: Won't arrive for...
 
Excessively Nice Subway Announcer [[Dude sits on subway]] / Subway Announcer: Wow. Am I glad to see you all today. / Subway Announcer: Thank you for riding New York City Transit. / Subway Announcer: Have a wonderful. And marvelous. And glorious day. / Dude: In that order? / {{subway announcer}}
Movie Theater Saved Seat [[Dude approaches guy in movie theater, his coat sits next to him]] / Dude: Excuse me, is this seat taken? / Movie Theater Guy: Well no, but my coat is on here. / [[Dude stares at Movie Theater Guy]] / Dude: Tell your coat it'll have a better view from your lap than from under my butt. / {{movie...
Chinese Order [[Dude walks to Chinese takeout place]] / Sign: HAPPY LUCKY CHINESE FOOD / Dude: Can I get a small chicken lo mein? / Chinese Food Worker: Yeah sure / Chinese Food Worker: (SHOUTING in Chinese) CHICKEN LO MEIN!!! / [[Dude covers ears in fear]] / {{chinese food, takeout}}
New Year 2008 [[Dude's eyes]] / Caption: 5 / [[Dude's mouth]] / Caption: 4 / [[Dude's hair, sweat bead]] / Caption: 3 / [[Dude's face]] / Caption: 2 / [[Dude sitting on a toilet]] / <> / [[dude gets out of bathroom and raises arms]] / Dude: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! / {{new year, toilet, bathroom}}
Oranges in Season 2008 [[Dude walking on sidewalk]] / Dude: I should probably detox from the New Year with some fruit. / [[Dude looking at oranges at deli]] / Dude: What's this? Oranges are three for $2??? / [[Dude backs up to deli cashier]] / Dude: *gasp* Then that must mean... / Cashier & Dude: ORANGES ARE IN SEASON!!! / {{deli,...
 
Germaphobe Clerk [[Dude looking sick goes through shelves at pharmacy]] / Dude: Thermometer, cold medicine... / Dude: painkillers, and tea. / Cashier: That comes to $25.16 / [[Clerk puts change on counter]] / Dude: What's wrong with just handing me over the change? / Cashier: Would you if you were me? / Dude:...
Best Shuffle Play [[Dude stands at bus stop listening to iPod next to other guy listening to iPod]] / iPod Guy: God damn stupid iPod's lousy shuffle! That's three same album songs in a row! / Dude: I got a way to shuffle AND save batteries. / iPod Guy: Yeah? How's that? / Dude: Play your songs in order. / {{bus stop,...
Photo - 7 Train Platform [[Dude stands on 7 Train Platform wearing a scarf]] / {{photo, day, subway}}
Photo - Suburban looking Queens [[Dude stands on suburban looking block in Queens]] / Dude: Yup, this is still New York City.. / {{photo, outdoors, day, queens, suburban}}
Escalator Etiquette [[Guy going up escalator]] / [[Guy getting off escalator]] / [[Guy does gymnast's success pose after reaching top]] / [[Train of people with Dude at the front plow into Guy from behind]] / Dude: MOVE IT ALONG, WE'RE NOT GOING TO STOP BECAUSE YOU DID!!! / {{escalator}}
 
Models in the Cannibal Apocalypse [[Dude stands at bus stop next to morbidly skinny supermodel]] / Dude: (thinking) Holy crap look how skinny this woman is! / Dude: (thinking) Her legs are like Jack Skellington's! / Dude: (thinking) Geez, if the world ended and it was the cannibal apocalypse going on... / Dude: (thinking) She'd barely...
Irritated Subway Announcer [[Dude sits on subway train]] / <> / <> / Subway Announcer: YOU KNOW YOU IN DA DOOR SO GET IN THE TRAIN!!! / [[doors close]] / <> / {{subway doors, announcer}}
Subway Word Search [[Dude sits on subway watching a guy do a word search]] / Dude: Wait, you're doing a word search but circling the individual letters?? / Dude: Well what's the point in that? You can't see the words you've circled! / [[Dude grabs word search and holds it out of reach]] / Dude: Look, using your method...
Bathroom Advertising [[Dude runs into bathroom to urinal, facing downward]] / Dude: AAAH! NOT READING ANY ADS IN THIS BATHROOM!!! / Dude: haHA! I defy you stupid movie theater bathroom advertising sneaks! / [[Dude looks upset into urinal]] / Dude: I wonder if advertising is more expensive in or out of the urinal? / {{bathroom,...
Best. Customer. Ever [[Dude stands looking at toys in Toy Tokyo]] / Annoying Customer: How much is this? / Cashier: $3.99 / Annoying Customer: You mean four dollars? / Cashier: Yep. / Annoying Customer: Is there tax? / Cashier: Yep. / Annoying Customer: How much is that? / Cashier: Eight point three seven five percent. / [[Annoying...
 
Bathroom Surprise [[Dude walks to men's room]] / [[Dude sits in stall]] / [[Dude sits in stall]] / Dude: HEY LOOK! 2-PLY TOILET PAPER!!! / {{bathroom, toilet paper}}
Subway Suspicions [[Dude sits on subway (closeup)]] / Dude: (thinking) This old guy sitting next to me looks like one of those guys with ear hair. / Dude: (thinking) I wonder if he actually is? Maybe I'm stereotyping. I'll just take a little peek. / [[dude sees old guy with massive ear hair]] / Dude: EEK! / Dude:...
Deli Newb [[Dude at deli cashier holds money]] / Newb Cashier: Okay, bagel with cream cheese $1.75 / Newb Cashier: Orange juice is $2.25 so that totals to $4.34 / [[Dude stares at newb cashier]] / [[Dude looks indignant at newb cashier]] / Dude: You're...new here aren't you? / Dude: Are you from the magical...
Subway Test [[Dude sits on subway]] / Subway Announcer #1: Hello? Check check How's it up there? / Subway Announcer #2: Check check, yeah I hear you up here. / Subway Announcer #1: Phew man, you got B.O. down there too? / Subway Announcer #2: Aw yeah, man I hate the late shift. / {{subway, b.o., body odor,...
Elevator Inspection [[Dude stands outside his apartment door talking to super]] / Dude: I noticed the elevator's inspection sheet only goes until 2006 or so... / Dude: then it stops because all the spaces were filled, did the inspections stop with the dates? / [[Dude and super stare at each other]] / Super: You don't... / Dude:...
 

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