You're browsing the archives of Kick in the Head.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Slow Walker Turns Around | [[Dude walks behind slow walker]] / Dude: Dear god, why is it I always manage to end up behind New Yorkers who walk slowly?? / Dude: Oh my god, this is almost as bad as the time I was at Disneyland with my mom and all her old friends. / [[Dude makes faces]] / Dude: duuuuuuhh...I walk like a 75-year-old person despite having no visible ailments or reasons to walk slowly.. / [[Dude walks like mock zombie]] / Dude: I am a zombie...this is my zombie walk. You can tell this is my zombie walk because I walk so god damn slow. If people who aren’t zombies walk this slow they die of hunger... / [[Dude is caught when slow walker turns around]] / Dude: MADE YOU LOOK! / {{sidewalk, slow walker, zombie}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-23 |
| New Astor Place Building | [[Dude stands on ledge of new shiny building at Astor Place]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, skyscrapers, astor place}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-24 |
| Photo - Chinatown Rooftop | [[Dude stands on top of building at Canal street and Broadway]] / {{photo, night, outdoors, canal street, broadway}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-25 |
| Greedy Panhandler | [[Dude walks past panhandler]] / Panhandler: Hey buddy, spare a dollar so I can get subway fare? / Dude, I didn’t give a QUARTER to the one-legged Vietnam vet who had two eye patches, a voice box, metal plate in his ass, who had to leave his house because it was gutted by a fire, making him and his two starving children homeless sleeping on the street or occasionally a cardboard box if they’re lucky. / Panhandler: whoa, I can’t compete with that. / {{panhandler, homeless, beggar, sidewalk}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-26 |
| iPod Nano | [[Dude inches towards iPod Nano at Apple Store]] / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-27 |
| Two Dollar ATM Fees | [[Dude walks to M&T ATM]] / [[Dude using ATM]] / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-28 |
| Movie Theater - History of Violence | [[Dude sits in movie theater next to a guy stoned out of his mind, pot smoke wafts in the air]] / Stoner: HAH! Door! / Stoner: Haha! That’s great, he’s walking! / Stoner: Haha! Person! Oh my god! / Stoner: Oh my god why is everything funny? / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-29 |
| Mail Recycling | [[Dude checks his mail]] / Dude: All right mailbox what disappointments do you hold for me today? / Dude: Hmmm, wannabe clandestine credit card info disguised as non-descript envelope... / Dude: Bureau of Waste Prevention, Reuse and Recycling. / [[Dude tosses his mail in trash]] / {{mail, recycling, garbage, trash}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-09-30 |
| Photo - Union Square stairs, Downtown N Q R W | [[Dude sits sleeping on stairs of Union Square station]] / {{photo, union square, subway, late night, sleep}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-01 |
| Photo - Pigeon Poop | [[Dude stands by pigeon roost in West Village]] / Dude: EW! EW! EW! So much pigeon poop! / {{photo, pigeon poop, west village, outdoors, day}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-02 |
| Subway Public Display of Affection | [[Annoying couple get onto subway car]] / [[Girl sits on guy's lap]] / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-03 |
| Fat mouse has had enough, almost | [[Dude looks down at upside-down mouse over by mouse hole]] / Dude: Hey. / Mouse: Hey. / Dude: Wha’tcha doing? / Mouse: Food coma, why did you have to leave out that bag of trash? / [[Dude reaches off frame]] / Mouse: Hey, think you could roll me over to that hole? / Dude: Oh yeah, sure. / [[Dude readies his sledge hammer]] / Mouse: What was that sound? / Dude: Huh? I didn’t hear anything. / {{apartment, mouse, mice, vermin, pest, food, sledge hammer, violence}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-04 |
| Reason for no girlfriend | [[Dude]] / Dude: Some of those amongst you have asked why I don’t have a girlfriend or love interest. / Girl #1: Dude: THIS! THIS IS WHY! / Girl #2: OMG LOL! / Girl #3: Movies? I don’t watch that stuff. / Girl #4: Is that stuff like cartoons? / Girl #5: Like, OMG! / Nerd Girl: I only watch stuff I download off BitTorrent. / Dude: Really? / Nerd Girl: But I already have a boyfriend. / {{blank comic, lazy, girlfriend, love, nerd girls, high maintenance girl, chatspeak, bit torrent}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-05 |
| Black licorice subway eater | [[Dude sits on subway, guy next to him eats black licorice]] / Dude: Wow, this guy’s actually eating black licorice? / Dude: How much does he even have in there? / Dude: Oh geez, now he’s double fisting it. / Dude: Holy crap, how long can this go on for? / Dude: Okay, that’s it, I’m about to puke. I can’t imagine what the inside of his mouth is like. / Dude: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP!!! / {{subway, black licorice, food, puke}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-06 |
| Not Friday | [[Dude, bags under his eyes]] / Dude: It’s not Friday, it shouldn’t be Friday right now. / Dude: Because yesterday should’ve been Friday, which means today should be Saturday. / Dude: But it’s not Saturday today,it’s wrong that it’s not Saturday, fix it god dammit! / {{blank comic, lazy, late night, Friday}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-07 |
| Photo - Please Graffiti train | [[Dude sits on subway, sees "no leaning sign" now says "Please Graffiti train."]] / {{photo, subway, graffiti}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-08 |
| Photo - Grand Army Plaza Subway Stop | [[Dude runs from Grand Army Plaza Subway Stop at night]] / {{photo, blur, subway, park slope, night, outdoors}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-09 |
| Birthday 2005 | [[Dude stands next to friend]] / Friend: Hey man, when’s your birthday? / Dude: Today. / Friend: WHAT? Why the hell didn’t you tell anyone? / Dude: It never came up. / Friend: Well geez, are you even doing anything? / Dude: No. / Friend: Why the hell not??? / Dude: I hate having to plan things and getting people together so why would I want to do that on my birthday? / Friend: But isn’t that sad? / Dude: No, ‘cause overall it’s less stress for me. / Friend: AAAAAAAAA!!! / {{blank comic, birthday, friend, lack of continuity, lazy}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-10 |
| Sweating for Number Two | [[Dude stands in hallway sweating]] / Smiley Guy: Man, you’re really sweating, did you run up the stairs? / Dude: Uh yeah. Stairs, that’s what it was. / [[Dude looks back at men's restroom]] / Dude: Or it took me half an hour to go number two. / {{bathroom, poop, number two}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-11 |
| Movie Theater - Madagascar short film | [[Dude walks to movie theater playing WALLACE & GROMIT THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT]] / [[Dude sits in movie theater]] / Announcer: And now a short film starring the penguins from the hit film “Madagascar!” / Dude: Excuse me? What the hell is this crap doing before this movie? / Dude: Maybe they show it so that the actual film will be that much better by comparison. / {{wallace and gromit, movie theater, madagascar}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-12 |
| Perils of Pus Infection | [[Dude sits in the subway, a guy next to him is reading a book]] / Dude: Hmmm, I wonder whatthat guy’s reading. / Dude: “The Perils of Pus Infection??” / Dude: Oh geez, I’m going to be seeing/tasting that for the entire rest of the trip. / {{subway, book, reading, taste, pus}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-13 |
| Food smells of New York | [[Dude walks on sidewalk, his stomach growls]] / Dude: Man I’m really hungry, think I’ll go get a burger. / Dude: Mmmmm, actually that pizza smells really good maybe I’ll go there instead. / Dude: No wait, that Indian food smells really good too. Hold on, that bread must be freshly baked, maybe I’ll get something to go with that. / Dude: Oh geez, dumplings! I haven’t had those in a while! I could do that. But wait, pommes frites! I could finally try that place out. / Dude: Wait a second! / Dude: I smell ice cream! / {{sidewalk, smell, food, pizza, indian, bread, dumplings, pomme frites, ice cream}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-14 |
| Photo - Washington Square Arch | [[Dude sits atop Washington Square Arch]] / {{photo, washington square park arch, night, outdoors}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-15 |
| Photo - Steve Madden painted advertisement | [[Dude sits impossibly atop hand of playing card woman holding shoe]] / {{photo, houston, steve madden, shoes}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-16 |
| Washington Square Park Wares | [[Dude walks by Washington Square Park Arch]] / [[Dude walks by dealer]] / Dealer: hey man smoke? smoke? / Dealer: Hey man, weed? weed? weed? / Dude: Look, I- / Cop: HEY! / Cop: All right what’s going on here? / Dude: Nothing! Nothing! I was just- / Cop: Yeah I know what you were doing, but this guy’s an undercover cop! / Dude: But no! I wasn’t trying to- / [[Cop and Dealer indicate off frame]] / Cop: You want the good stuff you go to THAT GUY down over there! / {{washington square park, cop, police, weed, smoke, marijuana, pot, dealer}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-17 |
| Bundling up for Winter | [[Dude locks up at his apartment]] / I love this time of the year. I can finally bundle up but I don’t have to wear any big heavy coats yet. / [[Dude walks on sidewalk]] / I‘ll put on my light scarf for starters... / And I also brought a small hat to wear. / [[Dude walks to subway entrance]] / Fall’s such a great mild season.You still have warm days but even on colder days all you need is a light jacket to stay warm. / [[Dude stands on subway platform]] / It’s so much easier to get warm in colder weather than it is to get cool in hot weather, that’s the best thing probably. / [[Dude stands in completely packed subway car]] / And wow, um okay. The heat’s on in the subway for the first time this season plus eight billion people on the subway this morning. I guess I’ll just take all this stuff off now. Crap. / {{apartment, winter, sidewalk, subway, clothes}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-18 |
| Sharing a bathroom 10/19 | [[Dude walks to men's restroom]] / [[Dude sits in bathroom stall]] / Dude: Aw shoot, this guy has a magazine, there’s no telling how long he’s going to be here for. / Dude: It’s okay, I can do this. I can be stealthy it’s not so bad. / Dude: Aw shoot no I can’t. This is gonna take forever. / Dude: Should I just leave and come back later? I didn’t even pee yet though. / Dude: Plus he probably saw me through the crack when I came in so he knows who it is. / Bathroom Stall Guy: All right I know what you’re thinking, ‘cause I’m thinking the same thing. I think I have the perfect solution... / Bathroom Stall Guy: On my count. One . . . two . . . / {{bathroom, pee, poop, urine}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-19 |
| New fragrance of shampoo | [[Dude stands in shampoo aisle of store]] / Dude: All right, c’mon. It’s gotta be somewhere. / Dude: A-HAH! Here it is! / Dude: “All new fragrance” / Dude: Great, just when I find a shampoo with a non-offending smell that doesn’tmake my skin break out. / {{shampoo, shopping}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-20 |
| Earthlink high speed internet | [[Dude checks mail]] / Mail: “Have you considered upgrading to a high-speed Internet connection but didn’t know where to start?” / Mail: “At Earthlink®, we believe the most powerful technology should be easy to install and affordable to use.” / Mail: “It’s now up to 100X faster than regular dialup-based on the average speed between a 28.8k and 56k modem.” / Dude: Hmmm.... / Earthlink Personification: DUUUUUHHHH I’m Earthlink® and I can run faster than a mouse that has two broken legs, that’s also stuck in molasses, and dead! / {{mail, computers, high speed internet, Earthlink, modem}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-21 |
| Photo - Park Slope bench | [[Dude sits on bench in Park Slope at night]] / {{photo, park slope, night, outdoors}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2005-10-22 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 >>