You're browsing the archives of Kick in the Head.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Photo - Midtown White Brick Building [[Dude walks along air ducts of building with white brick wall in midtown]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, midtown}}
Relief in One Letter [[Dude stands at urinal, a guy runs to the one next to him]] / Guy: AAAAAAHHHHH... / Guy: Relief in one letter... / Guy: Peeeeeeeee... / {{bathroom, urinal, pee}}
Real Beginning to Spring [[Dude walks on sidewalk, sun shines in the sky]] / Dude: Oh man it's just GORGEOUS outside! / Dude: Finally some real weather! / Dude: Wow, I feel so full of energy! / [[Dude sits at work computer]] / Dude: So why is it I don't feel like doing anything? / {{weather, heat, work computer}}
The Eternal Struggle [[Exterior of a men's restroom]] / Voice: *GRUNT* oof! / Voice: AARRRRGGGH...UNGH! *pant pant* / Voice: Aaaaaahhhh...*sigh* / [[Dude exits bathroom]] / Voice: AAARRUUUAWWW!!! COME ON! / [[Dude pops into the panel]] / Dude: WHAT? Did you WANT it to be me? Gross. / Voice: Time for Round two! / {{late night, lazy, bathroom, toilet, poop}}
Great Word [[Dude sits on subway]] / Dude: Poop / Middle Guy: Something wrong? / Dude: Huh? Oh, no. / Dude: Great word though, right? / {{subway, late night, lazy, poop}}
 
Wet Hair [[Dude stands around, his hair wet]] / Dude: I don't know why my hair is wet either. / {{lazy, late night}}
Photo - Toyota Scion XB [[Dude stands by Toyota Scion XB]] / Dude: Created for MAXIMUM wind resistance it's the Toyota Scion XB! / {{photo, outdoors, day, toyota scion xb}}
Photo - Sakura Matsuri 2007 [[Dude sits on fence overlooking cherry esplanade at Brooklyn Botanic Garden]] / {{photo, outside, day, sakura, cherrry blossom, brooklyn botanic garden}}
Subway Switching [[Dude sits on subway, sees guy next to him getting up]] / [[Dude starts switching seats...]] / [[...only to find a guy next to him had the same idea, now they're sitting next to each other]] / [[Dude and other guy slap themselves for their foolishness]] / {{subway}}
Elevator Etiquette [[Dude stands in elevator with guy]] / [[Elevator doors open]] / <> / Guy: After you. / Dude: Why? So you can kick me on the way out??? / {{elevator}}
 
Bed Bath & Bargain? [[Dude checks mail and pulls out coupon]] / Coupon: 20% off any one of our hundreds of thousands of items* at Bed Bath & Beyond! / Coupon: *Limit one to a customer per visit. No copies, please. / Coupon: Coupon only valid for the purchase of socks. (But not those nice hydrating therapy socks with aloe). / {{mail, bargain, coupon}}
Subway Noise Cancellation [[Dude sits on subway listening to iPod, a guy talks next to him but he can't be heard]] / [[Dude removes headphones]] / Guy: -AND THAT MAN I TELL YOU IS JESUS! / [[Dude puts headphones back on, can't hear guy who is now screaming]] / {{subway, preacher, religion, ipod}}
Photo - Union Square Stone Wall [[Dude rests against lamp on stone wall in Union Square]] / {{photo, night, outdoors, union square}}
Photo - Prospect Park [[Dude lies down on grassy hill by large tree in Prospect Park]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, prospect park}}
Subway Impulses [[Dude stands on subway platform holding a wrapped sandwich, another guy stands on the platform nearby. Dude looks at guy]] / [[Dude looks back over to neutral space]] / [[Dude suddenly FLINGS wrapped sandwich at guy's head]] / Dude: SANDWICH! / <> / [[Cut to reality, Dude is still holding sandwich]] / {{subway, dream, food}}
 
Subway Race [[Dude stands by subway door looking out]] / Dude: WHOOOO! YEAH! COME ON! / Dude: Oh that's right, you think you're getting ahead do you? / Dude: Oh but wait, I'm sorry. You're a local train? Hahaha suckers!!! / [[Dude stands by door holding post]] / {{subway}}
Scab [[Dude looks at scab on his arm]] / Dude: Stupid scab. / Dude: Stupid...nearly ripe scab... / Dude: Have I ever even had a scab that made it this far? / <> / [[Dude runs away]] / Dude: AAAAAHH!!! I GOTTA FIND SOMETHING TO PEEL! / [[Dude holds shampoo and conditioner bottle]] / Dude: NOOOOO!!! Why must I always peel my shampoo labels as soon as I've bought them??? / {{scab, late night, lazy}}
Homeless Kitten Owner Pt 2 [[Dude walks past homeless guy]] / Homeless Guy: Spare some change sir? / Dude: Sorry. / [[a kitten comes from over the homeless guy's head]] / <> / Dude: Nope! That's not going to work on me again! / [[A second gray kitten comes from behind the homeless guy, Dude stops in his tracks]] / <> / Dude: OH COME ON THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!! / <> / <> / {{subway, homeless, beggar, bum, panhandler, cats, kittens}}
The Empty Third Seat [[Dude sits on subway, guy in the middle seat reads a book, guy on the left leaves his seat]] / [[Dude looks over at guy leaving]] / [[Dude looks at guy in middle seat]] / Dude: You didn't move over. Is it because you like me? / {{subway}}
UChicago Scavenger Hunt 2007 [[Dude walks down sidewalk]] / [[Frantic Guy #1 runs up to Dude with Frantic Guy #3 behind him]] / Frantic Guy #1: OMG YOU HAVE HAIR! THIS GUY HAS HAIR! / Frantic Guy #2: THAT'S #223 on the list right? / Voice: No time to check! / [[Frantic Guy #1 lifts Dude over his head]] / Frantic Guy #1: Sorry buddy we have to take you to Chicago for our scavenger hunt ASAP! / Frantic Guy #2: Open the trunk! / [[Scraggly guy with three hairs watches]] / Dude: Can't you take a picture? No wait, what about that guy? / Frantic Guy #1: No time! Camera's broken! / Frantic Guy #2: ANTEPENULTIMATUM TEAM ROCKS!!! / {{sidewalk, uchicago, university of chicago, scavenger hunt}}
 
Mother's Day 2007 - Wii Line at Nintendo World [[Dude stands in line at Nintendo World for a Wii]] / {{photo, outdoors, day, nintendo world}}
6th Grader Platoon [[Dude enters subway street entrance]] / [[Dude gets to turnstile to see large class of 6th graders]] / Dude: OH. MY. GOD... / [[Dude runs to subway car, yells to conductor]] / Dude: It's a platoon of 6th graders! Hurry! Go! Schnell! Schnell! / [[Conductor does nothing]] / Dude: What're you waiting for? Gun it! / Conductor: 6th graders need to ride the subway too. / {{subway, kids}}
Defensive Walking [[Dude walks behind woman who notices him behind her]] / [[Woman stops walking, Dude passes]] / [[Dude notices woman has resumed walking behind him]] / Dude: I'M SORRY IF MY WALKING MAKES YOU THINK I'M A STALKER!!! / {{sidewalk}}
Spring Rain Battle [[Dude walks on sidewalk, it starts raining]] / Dude: Hah! Stupid rain is that the best you can do? / [[rain gets harder]] / Dude: Go on, turn it up! It's 80° outside I don't care! Think you can faze me? / [[rain pours like crazy]] / Dude: YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO ME, BRING IT ON!!! / [[Dude stands frozen in block of ice in subway car]] / Dude: [[thinking]] stupid air conditioning. / {{weather, sidewalk, rain, air conditioning, a/c, subway}}
Deli Communication [[Dude at deli counter]] / Deli Guy: Raisin bagel with cream cheese? / Dude: yep / Guy: 'eh, can yous get me a fohrk'n'knife? / [[Dude and deli guy stare at him]] / Dude: OHHHHHHHH FORK! / Deli Guy: ...and knife... / {{deli}}
 
Photo - Madison Square Garden at Night [[Dude Stands next to large LED display at Madison Square Garden at night in the rain]] / {{photo, outdoors, night, madison square garden}}
Photo - Union Square Clock 12:01 AM [[Dude stands atop building housing clock at Union Square]] / {{photo, outdoors, night, union square}}
Brooklyn 5th Avenue Street Fair [[Dude sits at work computer, Co-worker comes up to him]] / Co-Worker: Hey man you’re in Brooklyn, right? Did you go to the 5th ave fair? / Dude: Oh you mean the one with the lemonade, italian sausage, funnel cake, zeppoles, grilled corn, steak hot dogs, steak sandwiches, massage stand, Chinese name painting... / Dude: ...booth selling nothing but socks, illustrations of: Scarface, Robert DeNiro, Audrey Hepburn, Brooklyn Bridge photos, local gym signups, local radio station, moonwalk and pony ride? / Co-Worker: Yeah, that one. / Dude: Nah, I stayed in. / {{work computer, street fair}}
Extra Ketchup Packets [[Dude sits at work computer, co-worker approaches him]] / Co-Worker: Hey man, got any spare ketchup packets? / Dude: Hold on lemme check. / [[Dude holds up a knife]] / Dude: OH GOD I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!! / [[Dude stabs himself in the chest, blood spurts everywhere]] / Dude: YAAAARRGGHH!! / [[Dude on his knees, blood still coming out]] / Dude: THE PAIN! I PUNCTURED MY LEFT VENTRICLE! / [[Dude hands over packets to co-worker]] / Dude: Yeah I got loads. / Co-Worker: Thanks. / {{work computer, ketchup packets, condiments}}
New Alarm Clock [[Dude sleeps at home]] / <> / Alarm Clock: *STAND CLEAR THE CLOSING DOORS PLEASE* / [[Dude jets upright in bed]] / Dude: AAAAAAAHH!! OH GOD I'M AWAKE! / [[Dude goes back to alarm clock]] / Dude: Maybe this new alarm clock isn't such a great idea. / {{sleep, bed, subway}}
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 >>