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| Fake Simpsons News Crawl | [[Dude sits at home computer]] / Computer: Fox nearly sued itself after "The Simpsons" parodied the Fox News ticker in a recent episode... / Computer: The parody included fake news reports such as: "Study: 92% of Democrats are gay." / Computer: Creator Groening said: "Fox has a new rule that we can't do those little fake news crawls on the bottom of the screen in a cartoon..." / Computer: ...Because it might confuse the viewers into thinking it's real news / [[Dude facepalms]] / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-10-30 |
| Halloween 2003 | [[Dude stands in pouring rain with necktie]] / [[Frame becomes letterboxed, Dude puts on sunglasses]] / Dude: Mr. Anderson Welcome back. We missed you... / [[Voice comes from off screen]] / Neo: It ends tonight. / [[Dude sees person dressed as Neo]] / Dude: I love this city. / {{halloween, costume, matrix revolutions mr. smith, neo}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-10-31 |
| Subway Detour Instructions | [[Dude stands on subway platform]] / Announcer: Attention! Attention! Due to construction this weekend, in order to get home you must first take a train you wouldn't normally take... / Announcer: Then go ass out of your way to a separate borough, then backtrack from ass out of your way back to the place you actually want to go. / Dude: Sounds about right. / {{subway, detour, announcement}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-01 |
| Nice...Weather? | [[Dude stands outside in park, sun is shining]] / Dude: Hey you, what's up with this weather? / Sun: What do you mean "What's up with this weather?" It's a nice day, enjoy it. / Dude: Oh, right. / Sun: Silly / {{weather, sunny, outdoors, park}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-02 |
| Blockbuster Job Attempt 2 | [[Dude stands outside of Blockbuster]] / Dude: All right, you can do this. Just walk in and fill out a job application. / Dude: It doesn't matter how dumb they are, you have to do this. / Customer: God! I can't believe this. What an outrage! / Customer: How can they be out of both "Star Wars: First Contact" and "Saving Sergeant Ryan?" It's unbelieveable! / [[Dude runs away]] / Dude: WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! / Customer: That guy must've been here to rent those movies too. / {{blockbuster, unemployment}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-03 |
| Matrix Revolutions Tickets | [[Dude sits at home computer]] / Dude: All right, gotta get tickets for "Matrix Revolutions." Ooh, I should go to the IMAX. / Dude: Crap, sold out this entire weekend. / Dude: Okay, how about Union Square? Crap, sold out. / Dude: Manhattan's probably a lost cause. I guess I should try Brooklyn. Crap, sold out. / Dude: GOD DAMMIT! WHere the hell can I see this damn movie??? / Caption: Much Later / Dude: Oh look, there're still tickets in Boston... / {{home computer, matrix revolutions, movie tickets}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-05 |
| Post Halloween 2003 | [[Dude stands on sidewalk next to parking meter and jack-o-lantern]] / Dude: Huh, look at that. People are already throwing away their jack-o-lanterns. / Dude: Now it's just going to sit here and go to waste. Too bad I don't have anything to use it for. / [[Dude sees guy singing Christmas songs]] / Caroler: Deck the halls with boughs of holly fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la... / Caroler: 'Tis the season to be jolly...fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la... / [[Dude picks up jack-o-lantern]] / Caroler: Don we now our gay apparel... / [[Caroler lies unconscious on sidewalk with jack-o-lantern on his head]] / {{halloween, sidewalk, pumpkin, christmas carols}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-06 |
| Eye Gunk | [[Dude in bed waking up]] / < |
| Rent Stabilization is a good thing | [[Real estate listings on window]] / [[Dude takes a look at them]] / Dude: Hmm, looks like a studio in my building which sounds like the same style as mine is being rented. / Dude: And what's this? It costs $250/month more than what I pay? / [[Dude thinks]] / Dude: I RULE! / {{real estate, rent stabilization}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-08 |
| Lunar Eclipse | [[Dude looks out window]] / [[Full moon turns into crescent moon]] / [[Moon disappears]] / Oh wow...a moonless night...how amazing... / {{apartment, home, window, lunar eclipse}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-09 |
| iPod ad | [[Dude stands by iPod silhouette ad]] / [[Dude hugs iPod silhouette ad]] / {{apple, ipod, silhouette ad}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-10 |
| Poor Man's heater | [[Dude stands outside wearing scarf]] / [[Dude shivers]] / Dude: brrrrr.... / [[Dude in apartment]] / Dude: Nothing like the freezing cold to make your apartment seem warmer than it is. / {{bus stop, weather, cold, heat, apartment}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-11 |
| Two Towers Extended Edition DVD, early edition | [[Dude stands in DVD store]] / Dude: So uh, the Two Towers Extended DVD is out next Tuesday... / Dude: And I know you guys usually get the DVDs much earlier than the actual street date... / Dude: So uh *wink wink* it couldn't hurt if you just... *wink wink* / Dude: Just go in back *wink wink* and get me a copy? *wink wink* / Cashier: No can do. / Dude: poop / {{lord of the rings, two towers, extended edition DVD, street date, poop}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-12 |
| End of the Day Newspapers | [[Dude stands in subway looking at trash can with newspapers piled on top]] / Dude: Huh, look at that. Since it's the end of the day everyone's thrown away their newspaper. / Dude: So I could have my choice of any number of the local newspapers... / [[Dude reaches for papers]] / Dude: Except for the fact that I never read the news. / {{subway, second hand newspapers}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-13 |
| Windy Day | [[Dude looks out window]] / Dude: Geez it's windy outside. / Dude: Wonder if I should even bother going out to do errands. / [[Dude sees guy outside with umbrella getting blown away]] / Dude: OH GOD NOOOOOOO!!!!! / [[Dude sees bus stop sign getting blown away]] / Dude: Well that answers that question. / {{home, apartment, windy weather, bus stop}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-14 |
| Supermarket Miser | [[Dude stands in line at supermarket]] / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-17 |
| Two Towers Extended Edition DVD | [[Dude holds Two Towers Extended Edition DVD]] / Let's see...223 min runtime, four commentaries in addition to the actual movie... / Added to the six hour documentary makes for about a 24 hour experience. / [[Dude hugs his DVD]] / Who need's sleep? / {{lord of the rings, two towers, extended edition dvd, sleep}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-18 |
| Two Towers Extended Edition DVD, aftermath | [[Dude lies dead tired on his bed in front of TV]] / TV: ...We look forward to being with you here again next year... / Dude: Oh god, I can't believe I finished watching it all. / Dude: I should really get some sleep or something. / Dude: Maybe by the time I wake up it'll be December 17th and I'll be able to go see "Return of the King." / {{lord of the rings, two towers, extended edition dvd, sleep, lazy, tired, fatigue}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-19 |
| SUPER ABSORBENT SUBWAY PAPER TOWELS | [[Dude looks at puddle of water in subway seat]] / Dude: aw crap, rain water. / Dude: Good thing I always carry SUPER ABSORBENT PAPER TOWELS!!! / Dude: HAHA! Foolish rain water, you are no match for my super powers! / Smiley Guy: I don't think that was rain water. / {{subway, seat water, paper towels}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-20 |
| Applecare Tech Support | [[Dude stands in blank space]] / Applecare: Hello, and welcome to Apple tech support, for other help options please try out our website... / Applecare: In order to best serve you please answer the following questions so that we may transfer you to the proper representative... / Applecare: Please say the product you need assistance with, for example you could say "Power Mac G5" / Dude: Power Mac G5? / Applecare: I'm sorry, I didn't understand that, please try speaking more clearly... / Dude: JUST CONNECT ME TO A &%$#@ HUMAN GOD DAMMIT!!! / Applecare: I'm sorry, I didn't understand that... / {{blank comic, phone tech support, applecare, power macintosh G5}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-21 |
| Genius Bar | [[Dude sits at Genius Bar]] / Apple "Genius": All right, who's next? / Smiley Guy: Can I use wireless internet while on the subway? / [[Dude looks irate, apple "genius" looks worried]] / [[Apple "Genius" starts bawling]] / Apple "Genius": WAAAAHHHH!! It's only 11:00!!! / Dude: There, there. / Smiley Guy: Is that a no? / {{apple store, apple "genius", tech support}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-24 |
| Parental Video Game Censorship | [[Dude looks at Playstation 2 Games]] / Kid: I want this one mommy! / Mom: Let me take a look. / Mom: Let's see...battle...rated E...and uh-oh. Sorry sweetie, this says "violence." / Mom: Let's get this Rugrats game instead. / Kid: okay... / [[Kid looks back at game he wanted, Dude sheds a tear]] / [[Dude bawls]] / Dude: WAAAAAHHHHH!!!! / {{playstation, video games, parent, ESRB}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-25 |
| Thanksgiving travel 2003 | [[Dude stands in line with other bus passengers]] / Dude: Hi dad, I'm at the bus station, but I got here a little late. / Dude: Yeah, there's a bit of a line for the next available one. / Dude: When will I arrive? Let's see, it's about 7:30 now and they gave us a wait time... / Dude: How's Saturday sound for you? / {{thanksgiving, travel, bus, greyhound}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-26 |
| Thanksgiving Preparation 2003 | [[Dude lies down on bed]] / Dude: Oh god, no more... / Dude: OH GOD! NO MORE! / Dude's Mom: Honey, what are you doing? It's time to eat the turkey. / Dude: I'll be right there mom, I'm just practicing. / {{thanksgiving, turkey}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-27 |
| Sleeping in the Suburbs | [[Dude lies wide awake in bed]] / Dude: WHY THE HELL IS IT SO QUIET? HOW DO YOU PEOPLE SLEEP LIKE THIS??? / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-11-28 |
| Back in New York 2003 | [[Dude stands by window]] / Dude: Ahhh, back in New York... / Dude: I got back my 24 hour deli... / Dude: I got back my cable modem. / [[Dude stands next to paper bag taller than him]] / Dude: and enough leftovers from my mom to last me until Christmas... / {{home, apartment, night, leftovers}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-12-01 |
| Citibank Customer Service | [[Dude stands in blank space with cell phone]] / Citibank: Welcome to Citibank. For training purposes this call may be monitored. / Citibank: Are you in possession of your original credit card? / Dude: yes. / Citibank: Now, please dial or say your sixteen digit credit card number... / Dude: ...... / Dude: Gee, let me think about this one... / Dude: MONITOR THIS!!! / {{citibank, phone tech support}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-12-02 |
| Comfort of Living Alone | [[Dude sits at home computer]] / < http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-12-03 |
| New York Winter Temperatures | [[Dude sits in subway car]] / Dude: ahhh, warm subway car heat... / [[Dude walks up subway stairs]] / Dude: AAAA! COLD! COLD! COLD! / [[Dude walks over subway vent]] / Dude: aaahhh, warm subway air... / [[Dude runs down sidewalk]] / Dude: COLD! COLD! COLD! / [[Dude walks past laundromat vent]] / Dude: ahhh, laundromat dryer vent... / [[Dude lies in bed]] / Dude: COLD! COLD! COLD! / Dude: brrrrrr.... / {{new york, weather, temperatures, cold, heat, subway, apartment, bed}} http://kickinthehead.org/index.php?date=2003-12-04 |
| Job Call | [[Dude watches TV, cell phone rings]] / < |
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