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Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic sits at a table full of Evil Inc. department managers. Among them are Myron, Dr. Haynus, Dr. Muskiday, Mr. Nukkel, the female and pirate manager. There are others too.]] / Captain Heroic: Since this is my first meeting with you all, I'd like to know who is managing which department and what those departments do. / Captain Heroic: So I've got an idea ~~ if you will bear with me. / Captain Heroic: [[Holding a sheet of paper.]] I'm going to do a roll call... / [[An unknown manager to Captain Heroic's left rolls his eyes as he leans on his right elbow.]] / Captain Heroic: When I say your name, please respond with a simple "So we meet again..."
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060719.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[The Evil Inc. building stands tall over Fairmount City. Captain Heroic's voice is heard from within.]] / Captain Heroic: Evil Inc has established itself as a leader in the villain industry ~~ from staffing to supplies. / [[Captain Heroic sits at a table with assorted Evil Inc. department managers.]] / Captain Heroic: I'd like to take that same energy and re-direct it to a more morally-neutral ground. / Captain Heroic: I'd like to see the OCCULT DEPARTMENT working on less curses and more cures... The WEAPONS people could switch from offense to defense. / Pirate Manager: And my department...? / Captain Heroic: Tell me again why we have an entire department full of people who slap the elderly...
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060720.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic walks by Lightning Lady.]] / Lightning Lady: [[Smugly.]] That went well... / Captain Heroic: Distribute the minutes to that meeting... / Lightning Lady: [[Surprised.]] "Minutes"? / Captain Heroic: That way everyone knows what we talked about. / [[Lightning Lady and Captain Heroic are facing each other.]] / Lightning Lady: Those are "minutes"? / Captain Heroic: Didn't Evil Atom log meeting minutes? / [[Captain Heroic has turned away from Lightning Lady.]] / Lightning Lady: Yeah... But in his case it was the amount of time each manager had to reach the goals discussed in the last meeting.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060721.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[The phone is answered at Lightning Lady's desk.]] / Lightning Lady: Evil Inc... How may I harm you? / Voice on phone: I'd like to apply for the "Firestarter" job in the paper... / Lightning Lady: Certainly... What's your highest degree? / [[The caller answers Lightning Lady.]] / Voice on phone: I have a master's in business administration from Dartmouth. / Lightning Lady: Don't call us; we'll call you.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060722.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady and Keagen are sitting up in their bed.]] / Lightning Lady: You've got some kinda growth in your groin. / Keagen: Why, thank you. / [[Lightning Lady and Keagen are face to face. His eyes are closed and he's grinning pridefully thinking about Lightning Lady's comment.]] / [[Keagen is now frowning, realizing what Lightning Lady has just said. She is still looking at him.]] / [[Lightning Lady and Keagen sit in their bed. They both look surprised.]] / Keagen: Oh.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060724.html
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[In the lobby of Mel's Comedy Caberet. Mel is a cameo from "Greystone Inn." Mel is behind a counter, reading Variety, his chair leaning on the wall. Assorted stand-up comic's pictures are on the wall, one of them is Keagan. Through the doorway is the main room with Keagan on stage entertaining the people sitting at the tables.]] / Keagan: There's nothing worse than having to see a doctor about an embarrassing problem. / Keagan: [[Talking into microphone.]] We tell ourselves that they see this stuff every day, but we know ~~ deep down ~~ they get grossed-out just like us! / [[A nurse and doctor talk outside a closed examination room door.]] / Nurse: The patient in room two has a goiter the size of a melon! / Doctor: [[Making a yucky face.]] Oh Geez! PLEASE tell me it's not all wobbly and squishy!
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060725.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Keagan is talking into a microphone, doing his stand up routine.]] / Keagan: It's bad enough I had to talk to my doctor about a weird growth on my groin... / Keagan: Then I found out my regular doctor was sick and a colleague was covering for him. / [[The doctor, a woman, is reading Keagan's file. He has a shocked look on his face.]] / Doctor: What seems to be the problem? / [[Keagan is sitting on an examination table wearing only an exam gown . He's still shocked.]] / Keagan: You're MUCH too pretty. / Doctor: That's your PROBLEM?! / Keagan: In this case... Yes.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060726.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Keagan is entertaining a room full of people. He's on stage talking into a microphone.]] / Keagan: I need a doctor like Doctor Frankenstein. A HOMELY guy. You can tell HIM about a growth on your groin and no think twice. / Keagan: But an attractive doctor? That takes real courage. / [[Keagan sits on the examination table in his exam robe looking at the doctor. She is looking back, angrily.]] / Keagan: [[Still doing his stand up, not talking to the doctor.]] "So, I took a deep breath, looked her square in eyes, and LEARNED something that day..." / Keagan: [[Talking into microphone.]] No matter how hard you try, you can't fake polio.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060727.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady is facing Keagan. He is narrating this story, unseen, as part of his stand up set.]] / Lightning Lady: Did you have that odd growth looked at by the doctor? / Keagan: "I decided I had done enough lying..." / [[Keagan is on stage, still narrating.]] / Keagan :"Honey," I said, "When the doctor turned out to be a gorgeous woman, I panicked, got embarrassed, and tried to pretend as if I had a different problem. She kicked me out of the office and told me not to come back until I was actually injured." / Keagan: My girlfriend was very understanding. She knew I needed to get back into the doctor's office, and she offered to help. / [[Silhouettes of people surround part of the stage Keagan is standing on, left leg in a cast.]] / Keagan: The cast comes off next month.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060728.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Evil Atom is flying. The right side of the panel reads PERSONNEL FILE: EVIL ATOM with the following: / AGE: 61 / BORN: 1945 / HEIGHT: 5' 10" / WEIGHT: 300 Lbs. / FAMILY: Wife, Marge, and one child. / ALIAS: Atomic Bombardier / ORIGIN: Victim of atomic accident in neighbor's basement in 1953. Spent three years in a coma and awoke with phenomenal powers. / POWERS: Atomic energy blasts, flight, super strength, can manipulate atomic structure, master strategist. / PARTNERSHIPS: Catspaw, 1970-81 / HISTORY: Formed Evil Inc in 1981. Directed the company until 2006, when he was ousted by a majority shareholder. He has since had his revenge on the shareholder, putting them out of business in return, and is contemplating his options as he stares headlong into retirement.]]
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060729.html
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic's finger is pushing a button on his intercom. He is answering Lightning Lady.]] / Voice on intercom: [[Lightning Lady's voice.]] Your three-thirty appointment is here. / Captain Heroic: Right on time! / [[Captain Heroic sits in his chair leaning on his desk. Lightning Lady is leaving his office and closing the door behind her.]] / Miss Match: You wanted to see me? / Captain Heroic: Yes I did... / [[Captain Heroic has his hands on each side of Miss Match's face.]] / Captain Heroic: And I LIKE what I see... / [[Captain Heroic and Miss Match embrace and kiss each other deeply.]] / [[Captain Heroic is behind his desk, hair all messed up. Miss Match is under the desk, unseen. Lightning Lady's voice comes through the intercom.]] / Voice on intercom: [[Lightning Lady.]] Your three-thirty-five appointment is here. / Captain Heroic: Right on time! / Miss Match: [[Thinking.]] Now I know how Iris Allen felt.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060731.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[The Evil Inc building overlooks the city. Voices of Captain Heroic and Miss Match are heard.]] / Miss Match: We've got to stop doing this. / Captain Heroic: Mmmm... Really? / [[Captain Heroic and Miss Match are getting dressed.]] / Miss Match: Yes, I have a career ~~ and NOW, so do YOU! / [[A shirtless Captain Heroic looks at Miss Match.]] / What if somebody finds OUT? My boss is getting SUSPICIOUS! I'm spending a lot of time away from my department! / [[Captain Heroic has his arms on Miss Match's waist. Her arms are on his bare chest.]] / Captain Heroic: I could give you a position under ME... / Miss Match: Please... FOCUS...
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060801.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [Captain Heroic is sitting at a long table with assorted managers. Mr. Nukkel and Miss Match are among them.]] / Captain Heroic: We'll go over all of the projections next week. Meeting adjourned. / [[Captain Heroic is heading through a door. He looks back at Miss Match and Mr. Nukkel, who may be looking at her suspiciously.]] / Captain Heroic: Miss Match, would you come into my office? I have a project that needs your immediate attention... / [[Captain Heroic is in his closed office while Miss Match, hands on hips, angrily speaks to him.]] / Miss Match: Listen, pal, I'm not here to be your concubine! / [[Captain Heroic, holding a folder which reads "2007 PROJECTION: SCHEMES DEPT.", has a puzzled look on his face.]] / Captain Heroic: ? / [[Captain Heroic faces Miss Match, handing her the folder.]] / Miss Match: So... Wanna fool around?
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060802.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic stands behind Miss Match's chair while she's working on the computer.]] / Captain Heroic: Meet me in my office at noon... / Miss Match: Sweetie... / Miss Match: I'm really worried... What if you're discovered? / Captain Heroic: [[Leading Miss Match by the hand.]] Come on! Don't be so NEGATIVE! / [[Miss Match listens to Captain Heroic in the privacy of his closed office.]] / Captain Heroic: Ever since we had a kid, it's been so hard to find "US time." We have to take advantage of this! / [[Miss Match and Captain Heroic are in each others arms.]] / Miss Match: You keep "TAKING ADVANTAGE" and we're gonna end up with another kid!
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060803.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[The Evil Inc department heads meeting has finished with the last heads leaving the room. Captain Heroic and Miss Match are at one end of the table.]] / Captain Heroic: I got your signal at the department head meeting. My office? / Miss Match: Signal? / Captain Heroic: [[Hand on side of Miss Match's face.]] Baby, I've played FOOTSIE before, but that was a sublime experience! / Miss Match: Sweetheart, I don't know how to say this... / [[One of the department heads, a devil like man with tail, walks by a generic villain who's working on a computer.]] / Generic villain: Hey, Vince... How was the department head meeting? / Vince: [[A pair of heart-print boxer shorts are hanging from his tail.]] What th'?
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060804.html
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Miss Match is standing, left arm out and hand on fire. The right side of the panel reads PERSONNEL FILE: MISS MATCH with the following: / AGE: 28 / BORN: 1978 / HEIGHT: 5' 8" / WEIGHT: 110 lbs. / FAMILY: Secretly married to Captain Heroic. One child, Oscar. / REAL NAME: Withheld / OTHER ALIASES: "Emma." / ORIGIN: The daughter of two notorious super-villains, Emma's mutant abilities became apparent at puberty. She was immediately sent to a special school for the deviously gifted. / POWERS: Projects and controls fire. Can use focused fire blasts for flight. Can encase self in protective shield of fire. / PARTNERSHIPS: Unknown. / HISTORY: Full-time villain as of 1995. Faced Captain Heroic often, finally falling in love. After learning she was pregnant with his son in 2001, they were married. She left full-time villainy for Evil Inc in 2003.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060805.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic opens their front door with his father, Commander Heroic, on the other side.]] / Captain Heroic: What happened?! You're half-an-hour late! / [[Commander Heroic holds a smiling Oscar over his head as Captain Heroic looks on.]] / Commander Heroic: Sorry, son. I had to stop off to stop a warehouse fire. Why don't you have a regular babysitter? / [[Commander Heroic holds Oscar in his arms, listening to Captain Heroic.]] / Captain Heroic: You know it's more complicated than that. Can't you see I need your help? / [[A spotlight on the apartment roof shines a giant Captain Heroic "H" on the clouds.]] / Commander Heroic: Son... The whole city can see that. / Captain Heroic: Sorry. I got anxious.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060807.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Oscar plays with a plane in the distance as Captain Heroic's mother comes in the front door.]] / Captain Heroic: Hi mom. Where's dad? / Captain Heroic's mother: He's tied up this morning. Luckily, he's good with knots. / Captain Heroic: [[Climbing out the window.]] What do you two have planned? / Captain Heroic's mother: The usual... Walk in the park... Couple hours in the playground... Maybe bake some cookies. / Captain Heroic: [[Flying away from the building.]] Great! Have fun! / [[Captain Heroic's mother holds Oscar under the arms speaking to him face to face.]] / Captain Heroic's mother: Hey kid... Are my stories on? / [[Captain Heroic's mother is still holding Oscar. The television behind him is on, showing the soap opera "All My Children".]] / Oscar: They MUST be. Dad believes 'em every time!
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060808.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: We've got to figure out another daycare option for Oscar. / Captain Heroic: What did my parents do now? / Miss Match: Nothing, but... / Captain Heroic: Where's Oscar? The living room? / [[Oscar is sitting on the couch, watching an unseen television. In one hand is the remote and in the other a glass with a spoon in it. In the doorway behind the couch stand Miss Match and Captain Heroic.]] / Oscar: Mom! I need more Fiber-Con, please! / Voice from television: Next on Matlock... / [[Miss Match and Captain Heroic are walking out the doorway. Oscar is still sitting on the couch holding the glass.]] / Oscar: Turn out that light! What are we? The electric company?! / Captain Heroic: Ok. We need a new sitter.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060809.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: What about MY mom? She could babysit. / Captain Heroic: [[In disbelief.]] YOUR MOM?!! / [[Captain Heroic's arms are outstretched as he looks back at Miss Match.]] / Miss Match: She's perfectly capable. / Captain Heroic: Emma... Remember the LAST time she watched Oscar? DO you?! / [[Miss Match and Captain Heroic are face to face.]] / Miss Match: Oh, honey... / Miss Match: You know darned well that photon laser wasn't loaded. / Captain Heroic: [[Turned away from Miss Match.]] ...But the bank guards didn't.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060810.html
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[In Captain Heroic and Miss Match's home]] / Oscar: Grampa, why don't I have powers like mom and dad? / Grampa: Well, Oscar... that's a pretty complicated question. It has to do with genes and stuff and... / Oscar: So I'm never gonna fly? / [[Grampa flies through the city holding Oscar]] / Grampa: Anytime you want, kiddo... anytime you want...
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060811.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Comic is a one-panel information card. Information is transcribed as dialogue below.]] / Personnel file: Captain Heroic / Age: 36 / Born: 1970 / Height: 6' / Weight: 175 lbs. / Family: Secretly married to Miss Match. One child, Oscar. / Real name: Withheld / Origin: Son of Commander Heroic and Ms. Amazing. He was brought up as a superhero from the beginning, trained by his parents to continue their craft. / Powers: Flight, super strength, near invulnerability. / Partnerships: None. / History: Full-time hero since 1990. Soon became the city's most powerful hero. Asked to join the Legion of Justice in 1995. Married Miss Match in 2002 after a surprise pregnancy. Has raised son, Oscar, as a stay-at-home dad, balancing that with his hero work.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060812.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Oscar is on Commander Heroic's shoulders, flying around Fairmount City.]] / Commander Heroic: Hey! That's where your folks work! / Oscar: Can we say hi? / [[Commander Heroic and Oscar hover outside Captain Heroic's window, looking in.]] / Oscar: That must be dad's office! / Commander Heroic: He just walked in! And there's your mom! / [[Commander Heroic's jaw drops and he covers Oscar's face with his left hand as he sees what is going on in the office.]] / Commander Heroic: EEEEEEEEK! / [[Commander Heroic flies away with Oscar in his arm.]] / Oscar: I thought we were going to surprise them! / Commander Heroic: They kinda beat us to the punch!
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060814.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Commander Heroic and Captain Heroic stand face to face.]] / Commander Heroic: Your mother and I are not going to be available to babysit anymore. / Captain Heroic: Why not? / [[Captain Heroic listens to his father.]] / Commander Heroic: Yes... Oscar and I flew up to your office to surprise you yesterday afternoon, and I saw you and your wife... um... "In a meeting"... / [[Commander Heroic points angrily at his son's chest.]] / Commander Heroic: You need to hear this, son: What you're doing... It's not good. Not good at all. / [[A confused Captain Heroic watches his father storm by.]] / Captain Heroic: Please tell me were talking morals and not mechanics.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060815.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Commander Heroic and Captain Heroic are flying.]] / Captain Heroic:You and mom aren't going to babysit anymore? / Commander Heroic: No. / Commander Heroic: We thought you were taking this job at Evil Inc to do something special ~~ something good. / Commander Heroic: Turns out you're using it as a convenient way to make WHOOPEE with your wife! / Captain Heroic: Dad! / [[Commander Heroic flies away from his son.]] / Captain Heroic: Even BOB EUBANKS can bring himself to say "sex" these days...
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060816.html
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: [[Covering her body as if naked.]] YOUR DAD SAW US WHILE WE WERE "IN A MEETING"?!! / Captain Heroic: It was an accident. / [[Miss Match listens to Captain Heroic's other news.]] / Captain Heroic: Anyway... He and mom aren't going to baby-sit past next week. / Miss Match: Not going to baby-sit?! Why NOT?!! / Captain Heroic: [[Upset.]] He says he's disappointed. / [[An angry Miss Match responds to Captain Heroic.]] / Miss Match: Hey, pal, NOBODY looks good in fluorescent light.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060817.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Miss Match and Oscar meet Commander Heroic at their front door.]] / Miss Match: Hi, Frank. / Commander Heroic: 'Lo, Em. / [[A smiling Oscar races to his room while Miss Match and Commander Heroic stand in the doorway.]] / Commander Heroic: Go get your rod-and-reel, boy... We're going FISHING this afternoon! / Miss Match: So. Um. / Commander Heroic: Yeah. / Miss Match: [[Innocently.]] Goin' out to sea? / Commander Heroic: [[Hand on chest, shocked.]] I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT!
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060818.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Comic is one-panel information card. Text is transcribed as dialogue below.]] / Personnel file: Commander Heroic / Age: 56 / Born: 1950 / Height: 6' / Weight: 280 lbs / Family: He and Ms. Amazing are Captain Heroic's parents. / Real name: Frank (last name withheld) / Origin: An ancient relic bestowed phenomenal powers on this adventurer during an Egyptian expedition. / Powers: Flight, superstrength, invulnerability, laser vision. / Partnerships: withheld / History: Full-time hero since 1973. Founding member of the Virtue Battalion. Met Ms. Amazing, who was an assistant to Titanic Man at the time, through a Battalion adventure. They later married and had Captain Heroic.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060819.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic gives Mary Poppins the interview news.]] / Captain Heroic: I'm sorry. No. / [[Nanny McPhee listens to her interview results.]] / Captain Heroic: I'm sorry. No. / [[Captain Heroic tells Mrs. Doubtfire how she fared.]] / Captain Heroic: I'm sorry. No. / [[Captain Heroic shows Miss Match a photograph of a young attractive au pair.]] / Miss Match: I'm sorry. No.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060821.html
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: What possessed you to hire an au pair?! / Captain Heroic: Well, I... / [[Miss Match angrily pokes her finger into Captain Heroic's chest.]] / Miss Match: Nevermind. I saw her picture. I know the answer to that question. / [[Captain Heroic listens to Miss Match's concern.]] / How are we supposed to maintain our secret identities with a nanny prancing around? / [[Captain Heroic thinks a minute.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Slyly, with one eyebrow cocked.]] You don't think she'd really prance THAT much, do you? / Miss Match: No. Just ENOUGH.
http://evil-comic.com/archive/20060822.html
 

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