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Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady, Iron Dragon, and Miss Match are sitting in a car. Miss Match is talking on the car phone.]] / Miss Match: Are you in, Muskiday? / Voice on phone: [[Dr. Muskiday.]] I'm at the alarm control panel. / [[Dr. Muskiday stands in front of a control panel who's door is open. Under it is a bag of tools. In one hand Dr. Muskiday holds a tuning fork and in the other is an old cell phone. He is talking on the phone.]] / Dr. Muskiday: It's a Protect-O-Mat XL 45. / Voice on phone: [[Miss Match.]] Can you re-route the sensors? / Dr. Muskiday: [[Talking on phone.]] One does not "re-route" the sensors of an XL-45. It has a three-tier backup with infra-red connections leading to a double-duty heat/radar system. / Voice on phone: [[Miss Match.]] What does that mean? / [[Sparks fly as a screwdriver protrudes from the control panel. Dr. Muskiday continues to talk on the phone.]] / Dr. Muskiday: We're in.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[A giant robotic jet dragon flies toward the front of the bank. On the back of the dragon are Iron Dragon, Miss Match, Lightning Lady, and Dr. Muskiday.]] / Iron Dragon: Thank you for flying Iron Dragon air... / [[Iron Dragon, Miss Match, Lightning Lady, and Dr. Muskiday are inside the bank, walking away from the head of the dragon that has broken through a window.]] / Miss Match: No one makes the "Drive-Thru window" joke. Got it?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady heads for the vault as Miss Match tells Dr. Muskiday and Iron Dragon what to do.]] / Miss Match: Okay, spread out and watch for trouble. / [[Lightning Lady is at the vault controls. She is creating a spark to open the door.]] / Miss Match: [[Text only in narration box.]] "Lightning Lady's going in." / [[Lightning Lady enters the wide open vault carrying a bag.]] / Unknown Voice (Character unseen): Freeze, Evil-doers! / Miss Match: [[Back against a wall, text in thought bubble.]] That voice! But it CAN'T be him!!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Franklin Woodrow stands with his hand on his chest. To the right is a bar which reads "PERSONNEL FILE: FRANKLIN WOODROW" with his statistics below it.]] / AGE: 61 / BORN: 1945 / HEIGHT: 5' 8" / WEIGHT: 130 lbs. / FAMILY: Unknown / REAL NAME: Franklin Woodrow / ORIGIN: This master mechanic saw a tremendous opportunity in the golden age of super-crime, noting that many villains had not yet mastered flight and needed transportation to and from their lairs. / POWERS: No powers. Built a super-charged limousine. / PARTNERSHIPS: Joined Evil Inc. / HISTORY: Woodrow built a super-charged limousine to transport criminals. It was capable of withstanding and outrunning many of the superheroes of the day. In his prime, Woodrow chauffeured many of the top villains of his day. In fact, it was said that more villains were driven to a life of crime by Woodrow than by atomic experiments gone awry.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: [[Talking into walkie-talkie.]] Red alert! We have a cape in the building! / Lightning Lady: [[Taking money out of a safe deposit box. The bag on the floor has money in it. She responds into her headset.]] I need more time. Is it the law or an outlaw? / [[Miss Match peeks around the corner to see Commander Heroic confronting Iron Dragon and Dr. Muskiday.]] / Miss Match: [[In thought bubble.]] Neither. It's an IN-LAW.
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: [[Talking into walkie-talkie.]] I sent the boys in to deal with Commander Heroic. / Voice on Walkie-Talkie. [[Lightning Lady's voice.]] How are they doin'? / Miss Match: [[Talking into walkie-talkie while looking around the corner.]] Well... I have to say... They're really working like a team... / [[Commander Heroic holds a flustered Iron Dragon under his right arm and pushes a fist swinging Dr. Muskiday away with his left. Miss Match watches.]] / Miss Match: [[Text in thought bubble.]] Unfortunately, it's the Chicago Cubs.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Commander Heroic holds Dr. Muskiday by the collar, demanding answers. Lightning Lady's hand touches his shoulder zapping the Commander.]] / Commander Heroic: Tell me who you're working for, or so help me I'll ~~ / <> / [[Lightning Lady's hand is seen. A cloud of smoke and "pain stars" rise from the unseen Commander Heroic who has fallen to the floor.]] / <> / [[Commander Heroic is asleep on the floor. Iron Dragon and Miss Match look on.]] / Commander Heroic: ZZZZ. / Dr. Muskiday: [[Standing over Commander Heroic.]] You calculated the EXACT current to override his pacemaker! But... How did you know? / Lightning Lady: There's a lot more to me than a great pair of legs. / Iron Dragon: Is Commander Heroic going to be OKKAAAAEEII?! / [[Iron Dragon spins his head around as Lightning Lady's hand zaps his shoulder.]] / <> / [[Dr. Muskiday and Iron Dragon watch their partners in crime talk.]] / Miss Match: [[Excitedly.]] Look! Shag carpeting! / Lightning Lady: Heh. Of course, the long legs don't hurt.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: Ok, team, let's scram before he wakes up. / [[Miss Match has her back to Iron Dragon who is looking at Dr. Muskiday.]] / Dr. Muskiday: [[Holding bag.]] Wait. This bag is EMPTY! / [[Lightning Lady and Miss Match look toward Iron Dragon and Dr. Muskiday.]] / Iron Dragon: [[Confused.]] What kind of heist is this, anyway? / Dr. Muskiday: We were tricked! / [[Lightning Lady and Miss Match watch Iron Dragon and Dr. Muskiday's reactions.]] / Dr. Muskiday: We put money INTO the bank! We did... GOOD! / Iron Dragon: [[Walking away.]] Ugh... I need a shower. / Lightning Lady: Aren't showers supposed to make you feel cleaner? / Iron Dragon: Maybe the way you TAKE 'em.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Miss Match: Did Cap say if our reverse-heist worked? / Lightning Lady: [[Sitting behind her desk.]] He's meeting with the accountant now. / Lightning Lady: I still don't get it. How does our sneaking a hundred-thousand bucks into some charity's bank account save Evil Inc? / Miss Match: I'll have to ask him about that. / [[Lightning Lady and Miss Match stare at the closed door to Captain Heroic's office.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Voice only. Screaming.]] RECEIPT?!! RECEIPT?!! / Miss Match: [[Looking at Lightning Lady.]] ...In about twenty years...
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[The Accountant is sitting with his fingers together. To the right is a panel that reads PERSONNEL FILE: THE ACCOUNTANT which has his biography under it.]] / AGE: 345 / BORN: Unknown / HEIGHT: 6' 1" / WEIGHT: 145 lbs. / FAMILY: Unknown / REAL NAME: Lost in the sands of time. Maybe Eddie. / ALIAS: Vlad the Deducter / ORIGIN: Bitten by a older undead CPA. Joined the firm a hundred years later. / POWERS: Mind-control, some shape-shifting ability, flight, the ability to accelerate deductions to produce maximum benefits and defer capital gains. / PARTNERSHIPS: None outside of the Undead Tax Firm and Evil Inc. / HISTORY: Once he was hired in the Evil Inc accounting department, he immediately began replacing the other employees with undead personnel.
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Inside Captain Heroic's office. He's behind his desk reading the newspaper which has an article headed "Big Loss for Evil Inc." and a chart showing a declining profit line. Lightning Lady stands on the other side of the desk.]] / Lightning Lady: More bad news, Cap... / Captain Heroic: Ugh. What now? / Lightning Lady: Abe Vitale, the oldest living henchman, turns 65 next week. / Captain Heroic: [[Leaning on desk, hand on head, further depressed. Lightning Lady looks on.]] *Sigh* A henchman birthday party? / Captain Heroic: [[Looking up at Lightning Lady.]] What do they do? Take turns at blowing out the candle and missing?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Captain Heroic: [[Reading a file.]] What do we give a retiring henchman? A gold detonation device? / Lightning Lady: We GIVE him a pension. / Captain Heroic: Ah. How much? / Lightning Lady: Twenty-eight million dollars a year. / [[Outside the Evil Inc. building.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Voice only. Screaming.]] TWENTY-EIGHT-MILLION DOLLARS?! / Captain Heroic: [[Hand on head which is surrounded by '"dizzy bubbles".]] I~~ I need to sit down... / Lightning Lady: No one ever expected a henchman to retire...
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Captain Heroic: We have to give a henchman a twenty-eight-million-dollar pension?! / Lightning Lady: It gets worse. / Lightning Lady: The pension plan was established in 1986, and it was supposed to be invested in blue-chip stocks. / Lightning Lady: [[Speaking to Captain Heroic.]] Unfortunately, due to a misprint, it was invested in potato-chip stocks. / Lightning Lady: The fund has been raided every year since. / Captain Heroic: [[Hand on head in disbelief.]] I know... I know... Because they couldn't stop at just one.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic and Lighting Lady walk by a row of vending machines.]] / Captain Heroic: So we have a retiring henchman, set to draw a twenty-eight-million-dollar annual pension, and we don't have ANY money in the pension fund... / Lightning Lady: I didn't say we didn't have ANY money. / [[Lightning Lady stands in front of one of the machines.]] / Captain Heroic: How much do we have? Enough to re-invest? / Lighting Lady: [[Pointing to machine.]] Soda? / Captain Heroic: Sure. / [[Captain Heroic drinks the soda while standing behind Lightning Lady.]] / Lightning Lady: NOW there's no more money in the fund.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Captain Heroic: [[Sitting behind his desk.]] If this henchman retires and claims his pension, it's going to bankrupt Evil Inc. / Lightning Lady: Yes. / Lightning Lady: We can assign him to one more job before he retires, though. / Captain Heroic: Are you suggesting we send him on a suicide mission so we don't have to pay him? / Lightning Lady: [[Standing behind Captain Heroic's chair.]] I'm just explaining your options, sir. / [[Captain Heroic sits in the chair, quietly.]] / Captain Heroic: I... Can't do it. / Lightning Lady: Bet it felt good to consider, though...
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Ram holds a noose while wagging his finger. To the right is a panel which reads PERSONNEL FILE: RAM with his biography below it.]] / AGE: Unknown / BORN: Unknown / HEIGHT: 6' 3" / WEIGHT: 300 lbs. / FAMILY: Unknown / REAL NAME: Ram, the eternal spirit of revenge. / ALIAS: Ram has used many human hosts over the years. When he was incarcerated with Evil Atom, he was using the body of a pro wrestler who took the mantle of an executioner. / ORIGIN: Ram dates back to the first conflict between humans. / POWERS: Ram feeds off the human emotion of revenge, which gives him near-godlike powers. / PARTNERSHIPS: Human hosts. / HISTORY: When Ram met Evil Atom in prison, he had been jailed in the only way he could ever be captured: His victim forgave him, thus denying him access to the person's vengeance.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic sits at his desk as Lightning Lady shows the henchman into the office.]] / Lightning Lady: Sir, this is Abe Vitale, the oldest living henchman. / Abe Vitale: You can call me "3." / Captain Heroic: [[Seated. Looking at Abe Vitale and speaking excitedly.]] Hey! Didn't you guard the door to King Cobra's lair in 1995? / Abe Vitale: Can you be more specific? / Captain Heroic: [[Demonstrating his attack.]] You heard me coming and fired at me ~ but missed. I knocked you out and used your uniform as a disguise to get close to the villain. / [[Captain Heroic stares blankly at Abe.]] / Abe Vitale: Can you be more specific?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Captain Heroic: [[Arm on Abe's shoulder, smiling.]] We've planed a special presentation to celebrate your retirement. / Abe Vitale: Oh, how nice, I ~~ / <> / Abe Vitale: [[Looking around nervously.]] WHAT WAS THAT?! / [[Captain Heroic and a jittery Abe Vitale look over at Lightning Lady.]] / Lightning Lady: I just dropped my stapler. What's the matter? / Abe Vitale: [[Sweating and clutching his chest.]] I've spent forty-some years dodging lasers and avoiding trap-doors... My retirement becomes official in an hour.. I guess I'm a little jumpy. / Captain Heroic: [[Voice only.]] We should get going to the retirement party.]] / [[Abe Vitale leads Lighting Lady and Captain Heroic down the hall.]] / Lightning Lady: [[Whispering to Captain Heroic.]] I TOLD you... we should have made it a SURPRISE party.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Quietly.]] Lightning Lady... HUSH.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady stands at the top of an auditorium filled with villains. A banner which says RETIREMENT PARTY crosses the auditorium.]] / Lightning Lady: Ladies and gentlemen... Please welcome Abe Vitale, the oldest living henchman! / [[Captain Heroic arm is around Abe's shoulders. On the other end of the stage Lighting Lady, standing behind a podium, presents a group of men with their arms bent, hands on foreheads.]] / Abe Vitale: [[Humbly.]] AW, GEE... A twenty-one goon salute!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Abe Vitale stands on stage behind a podium, speaking to the villain filled auditorium.]] / Abe Vitale: I was one of the first employees hired here at Evil Inc... But I wasn't hired as a henchman. / Abe Vitale: Superhuman Resources gave me the proficiency test to see if I qualified to work as a henchman. / Abe Vitale: I got every question wrong, failing the test entirely. / Abe Vitale: So instead of getting hired as a henchman, I had to be a flunky.
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Abe Vitale continues to speak behind a podium.]] / Abe Vitale: As a henchman, I've lived every day as if it's my last... Being so close to retirement is almost surreal. / Abe Vitale: When I think of all the death rays that came my way... Every tmie a villain took out his frustration on me... Every trap door and exploding lair... / Abe Vitale: I tell ya... I never thought I'd live LONG enough to / <> / [[A cork bounces off of Abe's head.]] / [[Abe Vitale, eyes wide open, grabs his chest.]] / <<*gik.*>> / [[Abe Vitale, unseen, has fallen to the floor with only a cloud of smoke rising in his wake.]] / <> / Captain Heroic: [[Shocked.]] ABE! SPEAK TO ME, ABE! / Lighting Lady: [[Holding an open bottle of champagne.]] Oops.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Elwyn Leonard stands saluting. On the right is a panel reading PERSONNEL FILE: GOON SQUAD with his information below it.]] / AGE: 42 / BORN: 1965 / HEIGHT: 6' 1" / WEIGHT: 300 lbs. / FAMILY: Unknown / REAL NAME: Elwyn Leonard / ALIAS: Hey! Hey, YOU! / ORIGIN: Elwyn was a lifelong goon who worked for several mid-level bad guys. He was used as a guinea pig for the experiments of one such villain, the Xerox Bandit. / POWERS: Elwyn can spontaneously create scores of clones of himself ~~ all of which are controlled by his central consciousness. / PARTNERSHIPS: None. He works for hire. / HISTORY: Elwyn left the employee of the Xerox Bandit, who was finally imprisoned... For copyright infringement.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic is walking down the sidewalk about to turn the corner of a building. He is talking on a cell phone.]] / Voice on phone: Cap, this is Mr. Invincible. We need to talk about how Evil Inc's downturn is affecting the Legion of Justice. / Captain Heroic: Aw. What now? / [[A few out of work super heroes hold signs as they surround a box hoping for donations. The standing male's sign reads "WILL THWART 4 FOOD", the female's says "SIDEKICK KICKED ASIDE". The seated male holds a sign that reads "THANK GOD YOU NEER WORE A CAPE". A business man walks by all three without giving any spare change.]] / Business Man: [[Angrily.]] Get a job!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Outside the Love Motel, which offers hourly rates. Voice of Mr. Incredible is heard from within.]] / Mr. Incredible: [[Voice only.]] If Evil Inc doesn't start turning a profit soon, it might be the end of the Legion of Justice! / [[Captain Heroic listens to Mr. Incredible, who is sitting on a heart shaped bed.]] / Mr. Incredible: Ever since we bought Evil Inc, we've been financially strapped. We've lost the lease on the satellite and we can't afford to rent the hall anymore... / [[Mr. Fabulous is trying to sign into the motel and the manager doesn't believe him. Meanwhile a man and woman, arm in arm, are leaving the motel.]] / Motel Manager: [[Behind safety glass.]] Nice try, wiseguy! You're the fourth "Mr. Fabulous" to register today! / Narration Box: [[Mr. Incredible's words.]] "...It's causing real problems when we need to hold a meeting."
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic listens to Mr. Incredible.]] / Mr. Incredible: Buying Evil Inc has been a financial nightmare! Honestly, we were better off with Evil Atom! / Mr. Incredible: If things don't turn around soon, it's going to cause the end of the Legion. / Mr. Incredible: Last night, the Green Goliath got away with a huge heist because Elasti-Man ran out of cab fare. / Captain Heroic: Oh, come ON! / Captain Heroic: You expect me to believe he tried to catch a villain in a cab?! / Mr. Incredible: Had to. He missed the bus.
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Mr. Incredible: We're in rough shape, Cap. The Legion hasn't been able to pay its members in months. / Captain Heroic: Is it really THAT bad? / [[A line of super heroes stretches around the block of the Supe Kitchen. The heroes are in line to see a man standing in front of a box of coal.]] / Narration Box: [[Mr. Incredible's text.]] "Yes, Cap, it really is." / [[Superman squeezes a lump of coal for a hero.]] / Unknown Hero: Brother, can you spare a diamond?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Captain Heroic holds the nose of a jet to stop it from crashing.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Text in thought bubble.]] I thought having the Legion buy Evil Inc would be a good thing. / [[Captain Heroic grabs a lion, saving a woman.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Text in thought bubble.]] I thought I'd make it harder for villains. / [[Captain Heroic carries a boulder to plug an exploding volcano.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Text in thought bubble.]] Instead, I've made things worse for EVERYBODY! / [[Captain Heroic flies by a purse snatcher, grabbing the purse, and returning it to its owner.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Text in thought bubble.]] Honestly, I can't do ANYTHING right!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Mr. Fabulous looks to the left quietly. To the left is a panel which says PERSONNEL FILES: MR. FABULOUS with his information listed below.]] / REAL NAME: Dirk Degrassi / ORIGIN: Mild-mannered Dirk Degrassi stumbled upon a mysterious elixir that gives him amazing super-powers for a limited length of time. / POWERS: The powers ~~ and the length of time he has these powers ~~ varies every tie he imbibes the magic potion. / PARTNERSHIPS: Larry, a back-alley magic-shop owner, who mixes the potion in a tub in a back room of the store. / HISTORY: Mr. Fabulous joined the Legion of Justice during one of their annual membership drives. Due to the unpredictable nature of his powers, he is seldom included in jobs. / AGE: 32 / BORN: 1975 / HEIGHT: 6' 1" / WEIGHT: 175 lbs. / FAMILY: Unknown
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic Captain Heroic: [[Opening door to enter his office.]] Hold my calls for an hour, please. / Lightning Lady: [[Looking over her shoulder.]] Are you ok, Cap? / Captain Heroic: [[Opening window.]] I'm a little overwhelmed right now. / Lightning Lady: Whatcha gonna do? / [[Captain Heroic peeks in the Evil Inc. Day Care window, watching Oscar and Moonpuppy play.]] / Captain Heroic: [[Text in thought bubble.]] Remind myself why I'm doing it. / Oscar: My dad can thwart your dad.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Inside the Evil Inc. Day Care Ziwwa is constructing buildings out of blocks as a girl walks by.]] / [[The girl admires Ziwwa's work as he builds them higher.]] / [[She angrily stomps all over the buildings, destroying them and causing Ziwwa to cry.]] / [[Ziwwa glares over his shoulder as she dances away.]] / Ziwwa: [[Text in thought bubble.]] Touche', human... Touche'.
 

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